The Battle Plan
by HimekoUchia
Summary: Three French teens enter the Naruto-verse planning to have fun messing about. The reality of their situation soon catches up with them and they realize that the ninja world is both a horribly dangerous and exciting place. However, they always have time to traumatize some shinobi includes Akatsuki!GaaraxOC,NejiTen, ShikaTema, SasuNaru etc. Starts at Pre-chunin
1. Enter: the Trio!

**So OK, if I owned Naruto or his world, I wouldn't be sitting here on my butt writing this disclaimer. So anything related to Naruto doesn't belong to me and neither does Gaara, sadly ('cause if he did, he wouldn't be walking around using his sand, he would be with me, nice and safe *grin*) . Only this story plot, my computer and my 3 OCs do: Himeko/me, Yuuki/my imaginary friend and Ryo/my real-life friend. Enjoy! A little GaaraxOC, NejiTen, SasuNaru and maybe more pairings. **

Yuuki, Ryo and I observed our surroundings to make sure no one was spying on us. When you managed to get to a not-so-parallel world, you tend to get a little paranoid. How did we get here? Well, wouldn't you like to know...

When we were sure no one was eavesdropping on us, we sat down to get working.

"OK people, let's view the battle plan." I took out the 'battle plan' which was actually a new word document that I just created on my laptop, that I just happened to bring to the Naruto world with me. My friends looked over my shoulder, confused.  
"Um... Himeko-chan? There isn't anything written on it..." said Yuuki.

"Woah, no duh. I can see that." I huffed, and started typing:

_Super Awesome Battle Plan by me  
Statistics:  
Time: Pre-chunin exams  
Place: Konoha  
Victims: Whoever we see and want to mess with  
Goal of perilous mission: Anything we want_

I nodded at my screen, satisfied. Ryo sighed, rolled his eyes and started flipping his kunai in his hands. He 'accidentally' dropped it and it nearly hit me in the leg. I shot him a look that put Itachi's infamous glare to shame.

Yuuki decided to make a sarcastic comment:

"Well, isn't this the most accurate plan. So we basically skip through the Hidden Leaf's gates and hope no one makes a failed attempt to kill us?"

"Yup, pretty much. And don't forget the 'anything we want' part, its important!" I hit the save button on my computer and magically make my laptop shrink so that it fits into my pocket. Yeah, one of the super cool things I can do in this world because I have the author's power.

"What I don't understand, Himeko-chan, is why we are coming here _before_ the exams. What is so important about this particular time?"

I got off the ground, dusted myself and looked around. Trees, trees, and more trees. This placed really lived up to it's name.

"Well, Ryo-kun, at this _particular time_, the Konoha 12, including Sasuke, _and_ the Sand Siblings are here. Isn't this convenient? There are about seven days before the beginning of the exams, so we might have some time to, uh, explore." Yuuki giggled like a little girl at my mention of the Sand team. I hesitated a moment about flicking her in the forehead Tsunade style for not-very-verbally making fun of my, well, _admiration_, though some may call it obsession, for a certain Suna ninja... I decided to ignore it, 'cause I'm saving my energy for later.

I made sure we had everything we needed. Weapons to blend in, check. Awesome ninja clothes I took time to design, check. Forehead protectors with an 'ai' kanji and all the village symbols carved into it, check. Laptop with internet access, check. I turned towards Konoha's main gait.

" So are you ready for this!" I yelled, punching the air.

"OH YEAH! I can't wait to meet Naruto! His kage bunshin is so COOL!" answered the only guy on my 'team'.

"Urg, over obsessive Naruto addicts..." both Ryo and I poked Yuuki in the ribs as a pay back for the comment.

"Over obsessive Naruto addicts and _proud of it _dattebayo!" We both hollered at her at the exact same time. Creepy, I thought that only happened in Anime or something... Oh, right.

"Fine, fine, be whatever you want to be... So, how do we get in? Stroll up to the front gate asking to be let in without ID, permission, an official village, a squad leader or a reasonable purpose? And a 'visit' isn't a reasonable purpose." She added when Ryo opened his mouth to say something, which he closed again, looking disappointed.  
"Of course not Yuu-chan, I have a plan." They both looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I hooked onto their arms, did a couple random hand seals because it looks cool then teleported us inside the village Hidden in the Leaves, undetected.

We were now on the other side of the wall separating us from the outside world. There were still quite a lot of trees here. I looked around us and took a mental note of our surroundings, hoping to be able to locate our exact... location. On our left were a couple of smashed boulders and targets pierced dead in the center. I could also hear the rush of a river which was a little further away. On some of the trees hung a few training dummies that were in a pretty bad shape. In front of us was a circle of dirt in a field of otherwise green grass, as if someone hopped a long time on that particular spot.

"We are in the training fields. And it looks like Team Gai might be close." I stated.  
"How do you know that?" asked Yuuki. I pointed to what was left of a boulder, the targets, the dummies and the dirt-circle.  
"Gai-sensei's taijutsu techniques, Tenten's perfect aim, Neji's gentle fist and Lee's determination." I replied. Yuuki gasped:  
"YAY! Neji Hyuuga! Where, where, where?" Squealed my blonde friend, looking around, zooming from place to place, anime style.

"Right here." said a calm voice. My friends and I gasped and turned around. We were met by two people wearing green, a kunoichi holding a kunai and a Hyuuga with long brown hair and light lavender eyes.

**.........................**

**First chapter! Hope you liked it, though not much has happended, yet. I'm so happy! I've always wanted to meet Neji and Tenten and the rest of their team! I hope my laptop comes to good use later *hint hint*.**


	2. Peace, Love and Tears?

**You and I both know that I do not own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't have to say 'If I did'. I only own my three OCs and this story. There is a swearing in this chapter (or 'coarse language' as the rating thingy says), but I rated the story T so, yeah. Enjoy!**

Last Chapter:

_"YAY! Neji Hyuuga! Where, where, where?" Squealed my blonde friend, looking around, zooming from place to place, anime style._

_"Right here." said a calm voice. My friends and I gasped and turned around. We were met by two people wearing green, a kunoichi holding a kunai and a Hyuuga with long brown hair and light lavender eyes._

...................................

I stared open mouthed at them. Team Gai! I just wanted to scream like a fangirl and glomp every single one of them! Rock Lee and Gai were just like I imagined them: spandex suits, big smile, bushy eyebrows and bowl-cut of 'youth'. Tenten was actually really cute in her ninja clothes. Her hair was in their usual buns, which I thought suited her very well. I've always liked Tenten, as her own character, not only as the only female on this team. I was a real NejiTen fan. Talking about the Hyuuga... I trailed my eyes to him. Holy Janshin! He was so...wow. Hot! His long hair just made me want to run my hands through it! And his eyes were simply amazing, just like in the manga. A light shade of lavender. OK, awkward silence, enough with the staring, I had to say something before Yuuki...

"OH MY GOD! Neji Hyuuga! So cool! You are AWESOME!"... gets her Neji fangirl reaction. I saw Ryo sigh and grab Yuuki's arm before she could detach her feet from the ground to lunge at the brunette. Everyone was staring at my friend, obviously more than surprised at her outburst. Yuuki growled and yanked her arm out of Ryo's grasp before saying:  
"What? I can control myself you know? I'm wasn't going to glomp him _that_much. Oh, by the way, Tenten, I love your shirt." She grinned at the kunoichi who was still clutching her kunai and was now looking from Yuuki to Neji, slightly confused.  
"Um... Thanks? And you guys are?"  
"Well, they are obviously not from the village, so state your purpose or leave immediately." said the Hyuuga's calm voice.

I couldn't help but get a little frustrated at his unfriendliness. Don't get me wrong, I liked Neji, character wise and all, but could anyone make another person feel less welcomed? He wasn't even a squad leader or anything. I decided to ignore him and turned towards Tenten and the Green Duo instead:  
"Hi there! My name is Tanaka Himeko. This here is Murakami Ryo and the blonde is Tanaka Yuuki, my cousin. It is a pleasure to you." I bowed to each of them in turn, then stuck out my tongue to Neji. That should teach him to be nicer. To say that he looked surprised was an understanding. So was saying that he looked angry and suspicious. My team followed my lead, minus the stick-out-tongue-to-the-rude-Hyuuga part. The other three just continued staring at us, before Gai decided to say something:  
"WELCOME TO KONOHA MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS! Please forgive Neji's unyouthful behavior! I , as you might already know, am MIGHT GAI, leader and sensei of this squad of young ninja in front of you!" He flashed his good guy pose, making his tooth sparkle. Yuuki, Ryo and I sweat-dropped,thinking the same thing: This guy was seriously wacko! In a good way.

I smiled a huge smile at the adult.

"Oh Gai-san, thank you for your warm welcome! I believe Neji-san was only trying to keep his village safe from intruding ninja. He is correct in assuming that we aren't from this village. Judging by our forehead protectors, even a complete idiot could have known _that._" I still was pretty mad at that guy. "So, Neji-san, thank you for stating the obvious." This was the first time I spoke directly at him. He didn't like this either. "We aren't from any village actually. We want to bring peace and love to people no matter what village they may come from! So if I had to come say where I came from, I would say the Land of Peace&Love!" I happily said. Those lines were slightly rehearsed and sounded a little cheesy, but they were true, sort of. I mean, I do think war should end and that people should stop being discriminated for anything, I just didn't mention the fact I wasn't even from this world or that there _were_ a couple of people here that I wouldn't mind hitting.

I think Gai and Lee agreed with my philosophy, because they were currently crying tears of joy and hugging me and my friends very, very hard.

"OH WHAT A YOUTHFUL GOAL! I am Rock Lee, Konoha's handsome devil! I am pleased to meet you and your team, youthful Himeko-san." I chuckled to myself. Lee and his sensei were really strange, but so nice. I couldn't help hugging them back.

"This youthful flower here is Tenten!" Said flower rolled her eyes at her the nickname her team mate gave her before turning to me.  
"Hi there. I was just _very_curious. You seemed to know us rather well, especially Neji. Is there a reason for that?" she asked, staring daggers at Yuuki, then smiling kindly to Ryo and I.

Why would she be angry at Yuuki? _'Cause Yuuki glomped Neji, duh..._said a voice in my head. I decided to have a little conversation with it. Why would that bother Tenten? Unless... _Maybe she was jealous? _Then that means that Tenten actually _does_like Neji? _Duh, do you see how she always says how strong he is? _Oh, yeah. But that could be anything, I mean, Neji _is_ pretty strong. Even Lee admires him... _But Lee didn't just try to kill Yuuki with his eyes. _Oh yeah... I gave a mental fangirl scream. Tenten likes Neji! I wonder how the Hyuuga felt about her? I guess I would have to start to being nice to him to find out... Why is everyone staring at me? Is it because I am like an grinning like an idiot? Then it hit me... Tenten was still expecting an answer to her question. Um...

"Well, we do try to know more about the _best teams_in Konoha! Neji Hyuuga was also ranked last year's top rookie-nin, so please excuse Yuuki-chan's squeals. She is quite a big fan of yours. And Himeko-chan herself knows quite a lot about everything around here anyway..." _...because she is a Naruto addict, like me. _Ryo didn't add the last part, but Yuuki started laughing anyway. I shot him a  
grateful look. _Thank you from saving me from an awkward silence and for flattering them, they probably like you already. _I said with my eyes. _No prob. Plus, you two girls aren't the only one that admire Team Gai. _He not-so-verbally said back.

I looked at Neji, remembering what I was thinking about earlier. He saw me looking at him. He raised an eyebrow at my curious expression. I just kept staring at him, hoping that this would magically give me the answer to my question. I didn't work. Instead, Hyuuga decided to interrupt my concentration by saying:

"Well, Himeko-san, your presence still isn't completely explained. For what reason are you and your team here?" I couldn't remember my amazing excuse. Not with him staring at me like that. I don't have a crush on Neji or anything, but I doubt anyone can think straight with those eyes piercing right through them. This time, Yuuki saved me:

"We are here to participate in the chunin exams of course! We know that it starts in a week, but we hoped that by arriving early we might meet some of the other participants and wish them luck, so, yeah. Good luck!" This seemed to work for everyone. But somehow Neji _still_ didn't lose his suspicion.  
"I see. I am just curious, Ryo-san, about what you meant when you said that Himeko-san knows 'quite a lot about everything around here'?" I saw my chance.

"Well, let's just say that I am psychic! For example, I'm gonna use my psychic powers to state that you and Tenten make a perfect couple!" Neji's eyes were as wide as saucers, whilst Tenten was a deep shade of red. Gai and Lee practically had twinkling stars in their eyes and my two friends were trying hard not to: chuckle in Ryo's case, and squeal in Yuuki's. Suddenly, Hyuuga let out a loud snort and said 'Whatever'. Tenten's face fell as she took this as a rejection.

"Um... I'm sure that Neji is...that Neji and I are both to busy to even... even care about this stuff..." She looked at the brunette, with a look in her eyes that clearly said: 'Please prove me wrong.'

"I agree with you Tenten. Dating is a waste of time unless you want to have an heir. My fate is to serve the Hyuuga's main household and train. I have no time to think about kunoichi like Tenten. Her destiny is to improve herself to _try_to prove her worth. This will be a difficult path in life. Her goal will be hard to reach, but she is probably far better off than dear little Hinata-sama." Neji said with pride and all his smugness. Everyone just stood speechless. That was so.. so _mean. _Didn't he see the way that Tenten always... Tenten... I couldn't describe how bad I felt for bringing this up. Her head hung, her body was shaking slightly and her fists were clenched. I heard a crash,blinked, then Neji's was flying through the trees.

"DESTINY MY ASS! What do you MEAN a 'kunoichi like me'? Fate, Destiny, Byakugan! Is THAT ALL your lame ass is capable of saying? Get a life! And don't you DARE talk bullshit about your cousin! At LEAST she has FEELINGS! Why the hell do Hinata and I have to put up with your crappy attitude EVERY...SINGLE..DAY!" shrieked a furious Tenten. Everybody took a step away from her. I stared at here, aghast. I never, ever thought I'd ever see that kind and confident Weapon Mistress in this state. Neither did Gai.

"TENTEN! My dear student, do you _really _think that saying those unyouthful things..." He got cut off as the kunoichi covered her face with her hands and let out a sob filled with so much pain and hurt that he closed his mouth and dropped his gaze to his feet. I turned my head to look at Neji's reaction. He was lying on the floor but he lifted his head off the floor, staring at Tenten with guilt in his eyes.

Before anyone could say anything, she ran into the forest, leaving a trail of dirt and a bunch of stunned ninja behind her. It took a couple of seconds for me to snap out of it before I ran after her followed by Lee.

--------------  
**Yuuki POV**

Oh, my, gosh. I can't believe that. How _could_Neji have said that to her? I mean, he probably was just saying all that to back up her original idea but he most definitely overdid it. That guy has no skill with girls. Poor Tenten. I looked at the spot where she, Himeko and Lee disappeared a second ago then turned to look at Neji and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"YOU! How _could_ you?" I yelled at him. He just looked at his clenched fists before slowly lifting himself of the floor.

"I... Why did Tenten react that way?" He said, confused. I just wanted to kick is ass so bad, but something stopped me. Probably Ryo's arm. Gai answered him:

"Neji, don't you realize? You hurt her feelings when you talked about her like if she was useless. You know how hard Tenten works to impress you everyday." The words slowly sunk in.

"How hard she works to impress...me? Gai-sensei, you are mistaken. Tenten doesn't feel anything for me. She said so herself, that is why I..."

"IDIOT! Do you think she would have run away if she didn't love you, you IDIOT? She only said that she didn't want to date because you said 'whatever'. Whatever? Why did you say that you IDIOT?" I think that yelling at Neji Hyuuga has minimized my vocabulary. He stared at me, shocked. Yeah, I just yelled at the person that I was crushing on, a bit. Because he was an IDIOT, that's why.

"Tenten..._loves_ me?" He was still unsure. I am going to punch him... I'm gonna PUNCH him!

This time, the guy in the green suit stopped me.

"YEAH! And you rejected and insulted her! Great job Neji!" He just continued staring at me. OK, he was starting to creep me out. "SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT!"

"I... didn't... mean any of it. I... just reacted... the wrong way... and when I thought she rejected _me_, I just said those things...I..." I registered the words, then fangirl screamed, very, very loudly. Ryo, who was standing right next to me, groaned at the noise, but he was used to it. I mean, what Neji said was practically admitting that he liked Tenten.

"You like her! I knew it! You hurt her, you blew it." Ryo sighed at my rotten rhyming skills. Gai just kept looking at Neji, whilst the Hyuuga was looking at me with a guilty look.  
"What should I do?" He asked.  
"Well, first, BE A MAN! Then hope that it isn't to late to apologize. Hah!"I started humming 'Apologize' by Justin Timberlake.

"She is right Neji. Tell Tenten how you feel." said Gai.  
"And stop insulting your cousin!" added Ryo. I think he had a thing for the other Hyuuga. Or Naruto, I can't figure out which one... I laughed out loud at my weird thought, earning looks from everyone that were clearly saying 'What did you eat blondie?' This just made me laugh more. I heard someone sigh.

"I think I should go after her." There. There was the wise Neji I knew.

**......................**

**Back to normal (Himeko) POV**

Rock Lee and I chased Tenten through the forest. Somewhere in my mind I was glad that I could jump through trees like the other ninjas, but that thought was squashed flat by the one of Tenten in tears. I looked at my right where Lee was. We both were wondering when she was going to stop.

After a few minutes, she did. By the river I heard when we first teleported into the village. She scooped water up in her hands and cleaned her face. I heard her sniff a little. I nodded at Lee and we both slowly walked towards her and sat in front of the water. I didn't know what to say. Tenten's tears dripped down her face and landed in the river. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and motioned to Lee to do the same. We were now three people huddled together. If someone had passed us, the scene could have been described as 'sweet' or 'cute', but since the girl in the middle was sobbing into her hands, the word I would use is... I don't know.

"Tenten, I'm sorry I brought it up. I should have..." She cut me off.  
"No, it isn't your fault. I'm just weak. Neji doesn't like me at all and I should have just accepted it as a fact."

"Oh, but you are wrong Tenten! Neji doesn't show it, but, deep inside, I am sure he feels the same way! Himeko-san was right when she said that you two were made for each other!" We both looked at Lee. He was very... emotionally understanding? Even more than Yuuki sometimes.

"I really doubt it Lee." Tenten sighed and I hugged her closer. If this had happened an hour ago, I would have been hyper and excited to get this close to Tenten, but now it felt as if I had known her for ages. Does that make sense? I'm not sure.

"I think that Lee is right. Neji looked so guilty..." I trailed off and looked at our reflections in the water. Then, I sensed someone behind us. I turned around sharply. This caused everyone to turn and face Neji, who was staring at Tenten. The kunoichi took one look at him then stood up and tried to make a run for it. But suddenly, Yuuki, Ryo and Gai burst out of the trees and blocked all escape routes for her.

"Tenten, please listen to me." said the Hyuuga. I was going to yell at him for ordering her around when he was the one who originally hurt her, but Tenten beat me too it.

"WELL WHY? I don't CARE if you don't care about me OK? I don't care anymore... I just don't OK? I don't care..." She was cut off when in a blink of an eye, Neji was in front of her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Tenten, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I was just upset because you said that you didn't want to date me. I still shouldn't have said those things. It was immature and I am sorry. I understand if you won't forgive, but I... I love you Tenten."

My mouth popped open. Was I dreaming? Did Neji just say that he loved Tenten? Did NejiTen really just happen? And so...fast? I looked around to confirm my thoughts. Yuuki, Ryo and Gai were smiling whilst Lee and Tenten herself were just as dumfounded as me.

"Wha...what? Huh? Did you just..."

"Yes, I did. And I will say it as much as it takes for you to understand. I love you Tenten." I watched Tenten's face as the info sunk in. Her expression changed from hurt to happy to suspicious.

"If you...if you love me, then why did you say 'whatever'?"

"As I said, I reacted immaturely, I am sorry. I lo..."

"OK, OK I got it Neji. I love you too." Tenten was now grinning. They just stared at each other in the eyes. It was so cute. I could see Gai and Lee crying tears of joy at the 'youthful moment' between their 'youthful flower' and their 'genius'. I could practically read their minds. Ryo was smiling and Yuuki was sighing 'awww' just like I was.

I then remembered something. I walked over to my blonde friend and whispered something into her ear. She chuckled and followed me towards the couple. I mouthed one, two, three then I grabbed Neji's head and Yuuki grabbed Tenten's and we 'forced' them into a kiss. There wasn't much resistance so we let them go. Their lips were still glued together and they had frozen in that spot. After a few seconds, they broke apart and glared at us, blushing. Then they kissed again. I heard my friends whistling and I joined them. The green men were still shedding tears of happiness. After a while, Tenten and Neji started making out and we all took that as a cue to leave them in their happiness.

"That was sooooooo unexpected." Yuuki, Ryo and I were now back in the original training field.  
"I guess, but that was what made it so _cute_! I mean, I always knew Tenten was sweet but I really didn't know the Hyuuga had it in him!" We- minus Ryo- were all giggling like the NejiTen fans we were. When I calmed down, I started skipping away to look for more people I might know. After some time, we came to a conclusion that no one that was worth messing with was training, so we took the bridge to go to the main part of Konoha.

Right after the bridge was a barbeque house. I grinned. I had a good idea which gennin team might be there.

..................................

**CHAPTER TWO! I hope it was OK, this is my first fanfic, first kiss scene, first pairing that I wrote about... you get the idea. I own Justin Timberlake just as much as I own Naruto. Now, I wonder what I should do in the next chapter... R&R please! Pretty please? Xoxo HimekoUchia**


	3. BBQ and pictures!

**If you are reading this, thank you for reading this!  
I don't own Naruto and neither do you... unless you are Masashi Kishimoto... But I really doubt he has time to read fanfic. Probably to busy writing the awesomest manga in the world: ...Guess what it is!  
I only own my OCs and my laptop and my mind. And a love for ShikaTema.**

_..._

_Last Chapter:_

_Right after the bridge was a barbeque house. I grinned. I had a good idea which gennin team might be there_

_..._

"You guys know what? It's lunch time!" I pointed at the sign and ran to it pulling my friends along. Ryo understood and nodded, whilst Yuuki, as usual, was a little... _slow_.  
"Um, why are we here? It's only 11am! And seriously, barbeque? Who in the world would eat..."  
"Just follow me and shut up."

We walked up to the front door of the shop, received a weird look for our forehead protectors, said 'konnichiha' and strolled right in.  
_Phase one, infiltrate non-enemy base, complete._ I couldn't help humming 'Mission Impossible'. Yuuki joined me immediately. Ryo rolled his eyes at us before humming 'Jaws'. We all burst out laughing like maniacs, probably attracting the attention of half the place. I started scanning the crowd, looking for a certain gennin team.

The restaurant was filled with loads of people. I think I might have recognized Anko's bluish hair, but I wasn't sure, and didn't want to get kicked out for harassing a random customer.  
Right at the back of the room, around a table filled with barbequed pork, beef teriyaki, grilled shrimps, fish and rice, sat Asuma, Kurenai and their teams. I gasped. This was definitely lucky.

I prodded my friends in the shoulder to get their attention and motioned towards the two ninja teams. Yuuki was the first to react:  
"So _that's_ why we're eating BBQ!" It took this long for her to realize that? I don't completely understand my cousin/best friend sometimes.  
"Why are they eating together?" asked Ryo. I looked towards the table. Choji was absolutely digging into his food, it was almost scary. Shikamaru and Kiba were talking over their meal, glancing once in a while at their jonin leaders. Note to self, those two are even cooler in person. I suppressed a slight squeal when I saw Akamaru poking his head out of the dog-nin's sweater, so kawaii! Asuma and Kurenai were chatting about I-have-no-idea-what-because-I-was-standing-to-far-and-they-were-speaking-lightly and Ino was talking very loudly. Probably complaining because I think I picked up the word 'diet'. Shino was eating silently, no comment there. Hinata was looking slightly uncomfortable with the crowd around her. She was very cute, like Tenten, but in a very different way. A ...softer way?

"Asuma and Kurenai probably wanted to eat lunch together, they might have brought their teams along with the excuse of 'team work between ninja teams' or something along those lines."  
"Himeko-chan, how do you _know_ that?"  
"Hey, I'm psychic. Plus, all the gennins are staring suspiciously at them. That seems like a decent explanation. The real question is : how are we suppose to get near them without causing a riot since we are in a jam packed restaurant? Glomping won't be an option until we are in their hearing range either."

We started walking towards them as casually and unnoticed as possible. Which was hard, since we were aware that most of the people here were ninja. When we were about a table away, Hinata lifted her head and spotted us shuffling towards them. We froze in our tracks. Dang it, we were almost there too! What to do?... Yuuki and Ryo glanced nervously at each other. Need Excuse. I looked back at Hinata's light lavender eyes. Inspiration.

"Hi! Nice to finally meet you! You must be Hinata Hyuga! I just met your cousin and his team, and they said that we might find you here! I'm Himeko!" I thanked my gift of making up excuses on spot. Thank you gift.

Hinata blushed slightly a looked down at her hands. "Um... Hello. It's n-nice to meet you Himeko-san..." After that, all glomping restrains disappeared.  
"Oh my gosh! Hinata-chan you are so adorable!" My friends and I said at the exact same time. The purple eyed girl just blushed more and looked at her food. "Aaaaaaaawwww!"  
"Um, who are _you_?" said Kiba. To be honest, I completely forgot about him. Not anymore.  
"KIBA! Akamaru! Kawaii! Can I pet him? Please? Cherry on top?" I didn't wait for his answer and started tickling the puppy. Yuuki joined me in a matter of seconds. Akamaru looked as if he enjoyed all the attention. Kiba looked as if he didn't know how to reacted with two girls right in front of him. I chuckled and let go of the dog's ear.

"Don't worry Kiba, you're cute too! Its just... puppy, girls, do the math." I smiled at him. He just stared at me. So did the whole entire table.  
Then it was Yuuki's turn.  
"INO! Hi! I'm Tanaka Yuuki! You are _so_ pretty! I love your hair! Do you wanna go shopping one day?" Ino looked surprised, then grinned.  
"Oh yeah! Who ever you guys are, you have awesome outfits! I have to know where you got them! And, of course my hair is pretty! I've been growing it for ages to..."  
"I'm Yuuki's cousin! I made all our clothes! I could do a few designs for you if you'd like! And for Hinata-chan too of course!" I didn't let her fangirl the Uchiha. I know, I'm a hypocrite, but I'd like to keep my ears free of 'SASUKE-KUN's for as long as possible.  
Ryo decided to ignore our girly fashion talk and turned to Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba and Shino.

"Hey. I'm Murakami Ryo. It's nice to meet you." These were their responses: "What a drag.", "Hi! I'm Choji!", "Are you the only guy on this team?"and "...".  
"Nice to meet you too Shikamaru. Hi Choji. Yes Kiba, I am. And whatever you do Shino, spare me the details."

"Sweet! Lucky you, man!" said Kiba. I had a feeling that he and Ryo were going to be good friends. Yuuki and Ino were on the same wave length. So I talked to the last two people that didn't get 'greetings'.  
"Asuma-san! Kurenai-san! I'm Tanaka Himeko! Sorry for interrupting your meal, but, um... my friends and I are huge fans of you and your teams!" I smiled my most innocent smile hoping that they wouldn't get suspicious about my forehead protector that symbolizes no village.  
"No worries. It's very nice to meet you. Are you and your friends from an allied nation?" Grown ups, always so technical.  
"Well, yes, sorta! We are from no village in particular, we travel around loving people!" _Especially if they are part of the Naruto manga! _I mentally added.

"Do you have a permission? If you do not, the Hokage may provide one for you." I saw Yuuki and Ryo stiffen at that. I snorted. If they think I came unprepared they really don't know me. I like creating things. Not even an absolute pro can see a difference between a real permission and a my forged ones. Probably not even border guards. But honestly, what fun would it have been to use the main gate when teleporting existed? They would have spent ages asking us questions, it was their job to be all suspicious.  
However, it wasn't Asuma and Kurenai's.  
"Yep! Village safety is a ninja's number one priority! You can trust us, we are no threat to Konoha's well being!" But the population's is a different matter...

The two jonins checked the three cards I gave them, smiled and gave them back to me. I gave an evil mental laugh. Too easy. Now back to what I was here for.  
"Kurenai-san... Asuma-san... You guys make a perfect couple. Next time you want to have lunch together, you could always ditch your students and go somewhere more romantic! I mean, no offense, BBQ isn't exactly an ideal date spot..." Their eyes were as wide as saucers.  
"What! We can't _ditch _them! We are responsible of them! We can not just go off and..."

"Hey Kurenai-sensei, we won't mind! If you want some _alone time_ with Asuma-san, just ask and we can give you two... _privacy_!" laughed Kiba. Everyone joined him. Excluding Shino of course. And Hinata, she just blushed and smiled at her squad leader. The two adults were red in the face and glaring at all of us. This just made me crack up more. I couldn't understand how Shino could keep a blank face seeing the jonins like this. I decided to ask him.  
"Shino? Are you like... immune to real laughter or something? In this situation, a human would be either clutching his stomach and laughing his ass off, tearing up because of the hilariousness or choking on his food in laughter." All these examples were taken from around us. I made sure to smack Choji in the back before he suffocated on his pork and handed a tissue to Ino.

"There isn't anything amusing about this." I stared at him, then saw it. He was hiding his smile behind the the collar of his sweater. I grinned at him.  
"Suuuuuure. I've got to hand it to you, you hide your emotions pretty well. But no smile can slip through me buddy!"  
"Shino! Even you?" Kurenai looked absolutely horrified seeing the bug-nin have a 'normal' reaction. In some ways that was sort of mean, but Shino just sighed at his leader.  
"I am sorry Kurenai-sensei, but Himeko-san is right. I am still human and have a natural reaction to your... comical discomfort."

Natural reaction? Comical discomfort? I can't believe he actually managed to say that with a straight face. I laughed even harder. I clutched my side and sunk to the floor. Everyone around me was still in a hilarious laughing fit. Even the jonins joined us after Shino's comment. When I calmed down and dried my tears, I pulled my laptop out of my pocket, increased it's size and created a new word document.

_Best of!  
_"_I am still human and have a natural reaction to your... comical discomfort." -Shino Aburame_

I decided that from now on, I'd write down things people said if they were amusing enough to get into my list.  
Never thought Shino would be first to get an entry. Shikamaru looked over my shoulder and stared at my screen, eyes wide.  
"What? Never seen a PC in your life?"  
"Huh? Its not... Not many but... How did you make it big like that? And what are all those drawings?"

"Um... I used a kind of sealing jutsu to make it fit in my pocket. And those are called 'icons', duh." I guess ninjas use paper more often that word documents. I probably should watch out with the technologies I brought. I suddenly got a weird idea. I went onto the internet and searched for a picture of... Temari.

"Hey, Shikamaru-kun? What do you think of this girl?" I showed him the image of the blonde kunoichi. He looked confused. Very confused.  
"Er... I've never seen her in my life? She seems... troublesome?" I smirked. That was expected.  
"Well, her name is Temari. She is very smart and beautiful. I think you two would make a great couple, Shikamaru-kun."  
"But... What? I don't even _know_ her!" I sighed. Then I got a very, very evil idea. I looked for a picture of a ShikaTema kiss. I found my favorite one, which showed the two teens making out under the rain. I had saved it onto my desktop and showed it to the ninja next to me.

"Are you _sure_ you don't know her Shikamaru-kun? You don't have to lie to me, you know. I know _everything. _Just like you know this Suna hottie ."  
Poor Shikamaru. His jaw almost detached itself. His eyes were even wider than saucers. He gaped at the computer, then at me, then back at the computer. His face was a strange shade of red.  
"WHA...? BUT... BUT... I NEVER... WHAT IS THIS?" I tried to stop myself from laughing at his incredulous expression, but failed miserably.  
Yuuki and Ryo came over to see what I was doing. They took one look at the screen and at poor little Shikamaru, then bursted out laughing.  
"Wow, Nara, didn't know you and her were so close!" giggled Yuuki.  
"Temari eh? She's quite a catch. Good job man!" added Ryo. By this time, everyone was crowded around me and either looked shocked, was laughing or congratulating Shikamaru. He just sat there trying to 'illuminate' himself :

"But...but...but... I don't even... I'd remember kissing her... or something... I can't believe this. Is the picture real? OH MAN! WHAT A DRAG! OF _COURSE_ IT ISN'T! I've _never_ done that in my _life_!"  
"What? _Dude_, don't tell me you've never kissed a girl before?" Ryo waited for his answer staring at the ninja with the high IQ. So was everyone else. Poor Shikamaru, he didn't really enjoy this attention. His face went even redder. It could have been embarrassment or anger.

"WHAT? THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"Ahem..." Everyone turned around at the sound of... the BBQ house manager clearing his throat. "Talking about business, my one is going to go down with the racket you guys are making. May I ask you all to leave this place _immediately_." Then Ino piped up.  
"Whaoh! Sorry sir, didn't know we were making too much noise, it won't happen..."  
"LEAVE!" With the look he had on his face, it only took six seconds for all nine of us to scramble out of the restaurant, followed closely by the two jonins who were apologizing to the manager.

"Aw man... Can't believe we got kicked out of the barbeque house..." Choji looked sadly over his shoulder. Shikamaru, being his best friend, comforted him the best he could.  
"Sorry Choji. Guess I got carried away. That was too troublesome. But really, I'm actually curious Himeko-san, what is with the picture?" I sighed and decided to explain.  
"It's called DeviantArt and Photoshop. You can find a picture of _anything_ you want on the internet. See?" I showed them a photo of Kiba and Hinata lying down in the grass together. The said two ninjas gasped and tried to get a better look at it.  
"As I said, _anything_. Most of them are very credible too! You can even get images of Shino in a swimming suit, of Ino making out with Choji, of Hinata kissing pretty much anybody, of Asuma and Kurenai doing..."

"OKAAAAAAAY! T.M.I. Himeko-chan! I think they get the picture!" Yuuki and Ryo were laughing at the expressions all the ninja wore after they heard my 'examples'. I decided to be nice to Hinata and showed her a picture of NaruHina. I really like KibaHina and that pairing too. But, honestly, I think Naruto belongs with... someone else. The time it took me to think that was about the same time it took for Hinata to faint into the dog-nin's arms. Oh shoot.  
"OH MY GOD! Quick! Someone do something! Kiba! Help her!" Yuuki was in hysteric after seeing the purple eyed girl pass out. "Do mouth-to-mouth or something!" Kiba stared at her as if she was crazy.  
"Chill out Yuuki-chan! She does this whenever she sees Uzumaki!" Yuuki looked disapointed. She already knew that, but, like me, she wanted to see if Kiba would actually give Hinata the kiss of life. Oh well, you can't get everything you want in you life right?

"OK. Shino, Kiba, it's time to train. Carry your teammate and help her recover. It was... nice meeting you three. Bye everybody! Bye Asuma!" Kurenai dragged her team away to before 'we three' could do anymore 'strange' things. I think the training part was supposed to happen a few hours before the Hokage called for the chunnin exams. Yeah... I was relieved to have located myself on the story's time line.I was about say goodbye to the remaining team when suddenly, Ino was up in my face.  
"Hey, Himeko-chan? When you mean that you can show us _anything _does that mean that you can show me a picture of, oh, I dunno, me making out with Sasuke Uchiha?" Oh, no. I forgot, Sasuke fangirl. Oh, no.  
"Yeah, I can actually! But I won't, 'cause he'll never like you."

"What? WHY NOT? He totally likes me! Way more than the forehead-girl! And there is no way he'll ever like _you!_" Urg, that is always their conclusion. Can't they see that not everyone stalks that poor boy?  
"Ewwww... I _so _don't like Sasuke Uchiha. Yes, he's super hot, but on the attitude-meter... too hot."  
"Don't you _dare _talk about Sasuke-kun that way! He is the _coolest_ and the _strongest_!" she screamed into my face. She was getting really annoying.  
"I know someone a thousand times cooler that Sasuke." I suddenly got another evil idea. "You know what Ino? I like you, so I'm going to show you that picture OK?" I smiled with fake niceness. She was now grinning at me, thinking that she proved her point. Poor girl, totally blind to deception. I searched for an image on my computer. When I found it, I showed it to Ino.

She had a pretty funny reaction. She screamed, really, really loud. Not in fangirlness, in horror. Pure horror. She ran and hid behind her teammates. I knew it would only be a matter of seconds before she recovered and tried to kill me.  
"Well! See ya around Shikamaru-kun! Choji-kun! Bye Asuma-san! Sorry for all the trouble!" I grabbed my friends by the arm and pulled them away at full speed. I didn't stop until I was sure Ino couldn't find me.

"Himeko-chan. What did you _do_?" Ryo was half burning in curiosity, half laughing at the face the kunoichi had when I showed her my laptop. This time Yuuki found the answer faster than Ryo.  
"Oh my god... You _didn't_?"  
"I _did_." My friend and I started giggling, whilst our comrade was still in the dark.  
"What _did_ she do?" I snorted and turned my computer's screen towards him.. He made a gagging noise. A normal reaction for him. He didn't really like yaoi. Unlike Yuuki and I, he wasn't a _crazy_ SasuNaru fan. Judging by Ino's reaction to that image, neither was she.

...

**Finally! Third Chapter up! I need to thank my Spanish teacher for the Best of! Idea. I don't know what else I could add to it later...I needed an excuse to take my laptop out. Well, I guess I'll see while writing. Yay for SasuNaru! I love that pairing! I don't understand why Ino and Sakura hit Naruto when he accidentally kissed the Uchiha. If I was there, I would have taken pictures!**

**I do not own the Deviantart site or the Photoshop program... Oh, by the way, the ShikaTema kiss picture actually exists. It's beautiful... :) I actually really like Sasuke, but I'm kinda disappointed that he turns evil... I hope I get to meet him soon!**

**!**In the anime, when Team Seven meet the Sand ninja, a hawk sent by the Hokage flies by and you see Team Kurenai finishing their training and Team Asuma eating, if anyone was curious what I meant by that.

**I actually got a review a couple days ago, and it made me so happy! Thank you reviewers (and readers)! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! xoxo HimekoUchia.**


	4. Konoha's many stores, Weapons and Ramen!

**I don't own Naruto. I never will. I know sad right? I only own everything that doesn't appear in the manga, like my OCs and my stuff. And my imagination.  
I was also wondering what pairings I should put in.**

_Last Chapter:_

_"Oh my god... You didn't?"_  
_"I did." My friend and I started giggling, whilst our comrade was still in the dark._  
_"What did she do?" I snorted and turned my computer's screen towards him.. He made a gagging noise. A normal reaction for him. He didn't really like yaoi. Unlike Yuuki and I, he wasn't a crazy SasuNaru fan. Judging by Ino's reaction to that image, neither was she._

….................

"Oooooh! Look! A fan on display! So pretty!" Yuuki ran into the a shop. For the past half hour, we had been walking through Konoha's streets. This place was so nice. It smelled like trees and happiness. It was filled with small stores and food carts. The people would stare at us when we walked by. Maybe because we were obviously outsiders. Or it could have been because my blonde friend just ran into a weapon store calling a senbon throwing fan 'pretty'. Oh no.  
"YUU-CHAN! Don't touch that! Its a..." Ryo acted faster than me. He snatched the purple fan out of Yuuki's hands, earning a pout from her.  
"Hey! I saw that first you meanie!" Before anyone could stop her, she had retrieved the object and gave it a swish. What had to happen happened. A dozen needles shot out of the fan and hit the ceiling. We all sweat dropped and stared at the -now empty- weapon. Then at the twelve senbon stuck above us.

"Oops. Sorry?" Ryo and I just glared at our really clumsy friend.  
"Listen, Yuu-chan. Did you see that this was a weapon store? Or did the large assortment of kunai on display escape your notice?"  
"Um...the second one..." She grinned sheepishly, now aware that the entire store was staring at us. I groaned.  
"OK, whatever. Your helpless. Um... Could you two give me a lift? I'm gonna take those out." My two friends crossed and grabbed each others hands. I stepped on my makeshift staircase and they raised me to the -thankfully- low ceiling. I pulled the senbon out and jumped swiftly to the floor. I placed the projectiles back into their -ahem- safe individual compartments. I then realized the people in the shop were_ still _staring at us.  
"OK PEOPLE! Staring is rude! Especially if you don't know that person... What? Never seen an accident before? Show's _over_ folks! No autographs! Bye bye!" I didn't stop babbling until the crowd dissipated and walked away. I noticed that a team of three Sound ninja were still staring at us. Oh, great.

"So... _This_ is what Konoha's gennins have to offer? This exam is going to be to _easy_." said Dosu. He is the creepy mummified guy. That didn't stop my glare. I hate it when people insult my friends.  
"Listen buddy, don't judge a person to quickly. I never called you a lame-ass bandaged freako so don't call us weak. Plus, we aren't from Konoha. Look at symbol on our forehead protectors _genius_." I couldn't stop the heavy sarcasm. I didn't want to anyway. This dude really didn't scare me one little bit... OK maybe just a little, especially that he was now looking at me with a deranged I-am-going-to-rip-your-guts-out-with-chopsticks look. I smiled innocently and leaned forward to show him my headband. This reaction to his creepy stare surprised him a little, if not a lot. I giggled.  
"There. See that? Not a leaf. An 'ai' kanji. In you face Kinuta! Well, gotta go! Nice meeting you guys! Hope we _don't_ see each other again in the very near future! Bye Abumi-san! Tsuchi-san! I love you hair and style by the way!" I dragged my friends to the other side of the crowded store, leaving the three shocked enemy ninja behind. Yes, I guess I did just glomp Kin a little. Oh well, she's pretty. When we were hidden in a mass of weapons and bodies, we started laughing.

"Oh, geez. Himeko-chan, and I thought Yuuki-chan was the reckless one. Seriously? Diss Dosu? That was so dangerous... and totally hilarious!" Ryo didn't stop laughing.  
"Thanks for defending me Hime-chan... You know what I'm going to buy this fan. I like it. It's pretty!" Yuuki skipped over to the counter and payed for her weapon. I decided to pick something out as well. I already had loads kunai, shuriken, senbon and exploding tags somewhere in a scroll. So I chose a katana instead. The sword's handle had little patterns engraved into it. It was very beautiful, not to mention bad-ass. I never owned a sword before. This was like a dream come true, sorta.  
Ryo chose a Demon Wind Shuriken. We payed for our weapons and left the store, making sure to avoid the Sound Team.

When we went out the weapon store's doors, Tenten was going in.  
"Oh! Hiya Tenten-chan!" I smiled and hugged the kunoichi. She hugged me back.  
"Hey guys. Sorry for making you leave... When... You know..." A faint blush swept over her cheeks when she remembered the make-out session she had with Neji right before we disappeared.  
"No prob! Sorry for ditching you guys! So, where's the team?"  
"Oh, they are still training. I offered to go buy lunch for them. I guess the weapon store just... called out to me or something." She laughed at herself and walked to the food shop across the street. I then remembered the fact that my friends and I got kicked out of the Barbeque House before we could actually eat anything, so I followed Tenten. I felt excited when I saw that the 'shop' was actually Ichiraku Ramen.  
I glanced at the menu that was displayed outside and groaned. It was written in Japanese. I turned to the kunoichi.

"Um...Tenten-chan? What are you getting?"  
"The take-out beef ramen, why?"  
"...Can't read the sign." Both Tenten and Teuchi, the store owner stared at me, shocked. I smiled nervously. Before I could tell them my great excuse, Tenten laughed and said:  
"Whoah. First, the psychic powers, now this. You three truly are weird, no offense." I chuckled. Now wasn't that the truth.

My friends and I all ended up ordering the pork ramen. According to Teuchi, it was one of Naruto's favorites. Tenten left to feed her teammates and continue her training whilst my team sat in the bar, ready to dig in.

"Oh, my, god. Best friggin' ramen in the _entire_ world." It was truly delicious. I started to understand why Naruto liked it so much. Talking about Naruto...  
"Hey, Ryo-kun? What should Naruto and his team be doing at around this time?" I whispered.  
"If I remember well, they are either weeding someone's garden, cleaning the river or walking dogs. Since they started these D-ranked missions pretty early this morning, it is probably one of the last two options." He whispered back. I thought about it a moment. By the time I had finished my ramen, I got an idea.  
"Eh, Teuchi-san? Your ramen is so delicious! May I have four more take away orders of pork ramen please?" I paid for all that ramen, thanked Teuchi and Ayame for the meal then dragged my friends away.

I had to ask a few directions, but after a few minutes, I was sure that I was headed the right way. My friends were still curious about all the food, and where we were going. I decided to answer their questions when we were on a dirt path that was going slightly downhill.

"Well, you see, we are now headed towards Konoha's main river. After long hours of community work, I am pretty sure that Naruto and his team will be starving. Instead of waiting around to meet them, how about we bring them lunch?"  
My friends gasped and stared at me, excitement clearly written all over their faces. I'm pretty sure my face looked the same when the path opened to a river bank, the river, a waterfall and four ninjas that we immediately recognized.

….............................

**OK, I'm sorry, I know that this chapter is really **_**really**_** short and that nothing really happens.  
****It is sort of an introduction chapter, to build up suspense before meeting Team seven and to connect the **_**last**_** chapter and the **_**next **_**one.  
****Plus,I wanted to mess with the Sound ninja and get new weapons. And I really wanted to eat at Ichiraku Ramen.  
****I hope that you guys still enjoyed this chapter, and the next one will be _the_ Team Seven chapter, and it will be longer. :) HimekoUchia.**


	5. What was caught on camera

**I am sorry this took some time. I wrote the chapter, then I hated it, so I started it all over again from scratch.  
I do not own the Naruto World or any thing associated to it. Not Naruto, not Sasuke, not Sakura, not Kakashi and **_**definitely**_ **not Ichiraku Ramen. Sadly...  
Thank you to my two reviewers (very, **_**very**_ **much) and all my readers.  
Now, without further delay...**

_..._

_Last Chapter:_

_"Well, you see, we are now headed towards Konoha's main river. After long hours of community work, I am pretty sure that Naruto and his team will be starving. Instead of waiting around to meet them, how about we bring them lunch?"  
My friends gasped and stared at me, excitement clearly written all over their faces. I'm pretty sure my face looked the same when the path opened to a river bank, the river, a waterfall and four ninjas that we immediately recognized._

...

All three of our jaws hit the floor. This was actually _happening_. Really. I had to put the food down before I spilled anything.  
The closest ninja to us was Kakashi and his spiky silver hair. He was sitting on the river bank reading his books. He was...awesome. Then I saw the rest of Team Seven. Sakura... actually had pink hair. Wow. She was staring at Sasuke. Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha. Amazing. He was just like in the manga. Proud and unsatisfied looking. And incredibly gorgeous, of course. Then there was..._the_...Uzumaki Naruto.

"NARUTO! OH MY GOD!" All the ninjas turned to look at us, but probably only say three flashed of colors before we had arrived at our destination. Right in front of the blonde boy. And years of fan energy was released.

"You're so _awesome_!"  
"You're so _amazing_!"  
"You're so _strong_!"  
"You're so _generous_!"  
"You're a _hero_!"  
"You're the _greatest_!"

"Who are _you_?" The Uchiha interrupted our glomping. He looked confused, surprised and slightly jealous. Too bad. We just ignored him, for now. Naruto _deserved_ the spotlight.

"You're so _brave_!"  
"You are the _best_ character!"  
"You deserve better people around you!"  
"The citizens of Konoha are _asses_ to have treated you that way!"  
"They can go to hell!"  
"But not Teuchi! _He's _cool!"  
"But you are _even_ cooler of course!"  
"I have waited my whole life to meet you!"  
"This is incredible!"  
"You're cute!"  
"You're _hot_."

Everyone stared at us.  
_Ahem._ Now, did Yuuki and I _really_ just say that at the exact same time? Out loud? I felt my face heat up. But it is completely true. Naruto is _very_ good looking. In a bright and sunny way.

"Okaaay... Hello. I am Ryo Murakami. This is Yuuki Tanaka and Himeko Tanaka. We all think you are awesome." He grinned at the still dumbfounded boy whilst Yuuki and I were staring at the blonde knucklehead will eyes wide of admiration and fangirlness.  
I don't get Ryo. Naruto was his favorite character, but he still managed to get his mind back faster than us. Maybe the get-your-cool-back-after-glomping-Naruto effect was slightly delayed with my cousin and I. But really, who could blame us?

Naruto stared at us a while longer. Then broke into a huge grin.  
"Well, hi there! I am _Naruto Uzumaki_! I am _loads _better than Sasuke-teme and I am going to be _Hokage_ one day! BELIEVE IT!" He seemed really happy to get all the attention and love. But Sakura didn't like his cute noisiness. She punched him in the face.

"SHUT UP YOU _IDIOT_! Or else Sasuke-kun and I will go _deaf_!" I looked at Naruto lying in the river in pain with a bruise on his face. Then at the pink haired kunoichi that had just hurt him. I felt something between protectiveness for Naruto and anger towards Sakura. I stormed up to her until I was an inch away from her face.  
"No. _YOU_ shut up. What is your _problem_? Naruto always has your back. Always. You just stand around getting hurt and flirting with Sasuke when we all know that he will never like you. You should train instead. So that one day, you could be a _fraction_ of what Naruto is and be proud to call yourself his friend. Still, you won't _ever_ deserve Naruto. He is way to good for you." She stared at me, shocked and hurt. I actually don't hate Sakura. She's pretty cool when she becomes a medic. But for the moment, I was mad at her for punching Naruto who did nothing but introduce himself.  
Why did people keep getting punched around here? First Neji, now Naruto. The only difference is that Naruto didn't deserve it. I glared at Sakura some more before helping Naruto up.

"Naruto-kun, are you okay?" I smiled sweetly at the boy. He groaned in pain as he stood up.f  
"Urg... Yeah. Thanks." He looked at me curiously. He probably never had someone to defend him against insults before, apart from a certain few. This whole make-jinchuriki's-life-miserable thing was so horrible. Those poor people should be admired, not bashed up. Poor Naruto, being stuck with those ungrateful bit-

"You didn't answer my question. Who are you?"  
This time, we didn't have much a choice. We turned towards the Uchiha. I lifted an eyebrow at him.  
"Himeko and Yuuki Tanaka and Ryo Murakami, duh."  
"I meant, _who _are you and _why_ are you here?"  
"Isn't that _his_ job?" I said, pointing towards Kakashi. Sasuke looked angry. The look on his face made me want to laugh out loud. He didn't like getting smarty-assed. That made two of us.

It's not that I don't like him...Oh, no, I really do love the handsome Uchiha. It's just that between him and Naruto, it's no competition.  
Kakashi looked up from his book. I gawked at him. Had he really been reading it the whole time we were talking? How rude.

I sniggered and remembered something I've always wanted to do. I glanced at Ryo and Yuuki, smiled evilly and motion towards the jonin. They nodded.  
"Kakashi-san! You are so cool! I know so many girls -and boys- who would like to meet you! You are also so strong and handsome! If only... Ah, well, never mind. You are such a great ninja! You have the greatest techniques!" I didn't stop until he was distracted enough from the dirty book. Then I gave a little nod towards my friends. They mouthed one, two, three then Yuuki tackled Kakashi in a bear hug and Ryo grabbed Make-out Paradise.  
"AHA! Mission succeeded!" My friends and I ran into the river where Naruto was. Excited, I looked at the book. Everything that Kakashi kept hidden behind that forbidden front cover... was Japanese. I groaned. I forgot about that! Shoot.  
"Naruto-kun! Quick! Translate for us!" We shoved the book into his hands. He grinned and read a couple of lines. His face turned red. He kept reading. And reading. And reading. Then Kakashi snatched the book away, giving us a dirty look. I chuckled and asked Naruto what was written.  
"Um...You do _not _want to know." He was still blushing. "Kakashi-sensei! It's even more perverted than I imagined! And..." The jonin was already back on the riverside with his book safe in his hands mumbling something about 'annoying brats' or 'disrespectful towards true literature'. I laughed. He was so funny and perverted. Just the way everyone likes him. I looked back towards Sasuke.

"Well, I guess that your sensei doesn't really care about us. OK then. We three are from the land of... Peace & Love." I tapped my forehead protector, earning weird looks from the three genins. "We know quite a lot about the people in Konoha and Suna and yeah. Because I'm psychic. That is why we knew your name, Naruto-kun. Because you are special." I smiled at him. "And of course..." I showed him my fake permission so that it saved us some trouble of having to explain things. I learned that from the last time. I should really work on getting real permissions. Probably stop by the Hokage's lair when I have time.  
Sasuke gave that small piece of card a glance, then stared at me. For quite some time. Slowly. He looked at me in the eyes, with a look that was a mix of suspicion and frustration. Probably because I answered all of his questions in one go and even before he could even ask them. But still, it was creepy.

"Sasuke, quit it. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but staring makes people uncomfortable." He stopped. Not without smirking, though.  
"Hn. Well, Himeko-san, for what reason did you come here? As you might have seen, we were on a mission. You interrupted us and..."  
"Break's over! Get back to work!" Shouted Kakashi. He glared at us, clearly wanting us to leave. Yeah, like _that_ was going to happen.

…...

About half and hour had passed and they still weren't finished. I guess the river must be deeper than I thought it was. Ryo, Yuuki and I just sat on the river bank waiting for them to finish so that we could give them the ramen. It was going to get cold.

In the next five minutes, Naruto managed to fall off the waterfall. He got caught by Sasuke just in time. I remember that.  
I also remembered something else.  
"Kakashi-sensei, what would you say if I told you that I think that Sasuke is totally gay?" Whoah, that was a mouthful. "I mean, he rejected Sakura, Ino and Karin. That might be it?"  
"No. I think that my student just needs to meet with the right person. It might take time and... Who's Karin?"  
"Eh, no one. No, but really. I mean, he doesn't even look at girls, but he already smooched someone."  
Kakashi looked at me in interest. I knew that extra information about Sasgay...I mean, Sasuke would make him listen. I leaned towards him.

"Kakashi-sensei, did you know that Sasuke and Naruto kissed?" I whispered so that the three genins wouldn't hear us. The jonin looked stared me, clearly thinking that I was retarded.  
"What if I told you I had proof that they did?"  
"I would say: I'm not gonna believe it until I see it." I grinned at my friends. They started laughing. They knew what I was going to do. I dragged my laptop out of my pocket, 'maximized' it under Kakashi's confused eyes...eye and turned it on. When it finished loading, I searched for a video. The one of the 'accidental' kiss Sasuke and Naruto had on their first day as genins. And showed it to the jonin. He watched the screen as his two male students connected lips. His eye was as wide as a saucer. When the video was over, he replayed it. Then, he started laughing out loud.  
"HAHAHA! I NEVER THOUGHT... Sasuke and Naruto!" Everyone was looking at him. I started laughing too, joined shortly by my friends. The three young ninja that were still in the river were very confused indeed.  
"What's so funny Kakashi-sensei? Are you laughing at us?" asked Naruto and Sakura at the same time.  
"Not at you Sakura, but at the other two!" replied the jonin. Everyone turned to look at Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto rubbed the back of his head, having no idea what he did.

Sasuke's reaction was different. He obviously _hated_ being laughed at. He stormed over to where I was sitting and demanded to know what was so amusing. His expression made me crack up even more.  
"Nothing, nothing _much_."  
"Tell...me..._now_."  
"Hey, Sasuke-kun? What are your favorite flowers?"  
"What? What the hell are..."  
"Because mine are 'two lips'!" I made quotation mark signs with my fingers. Ryo and Kakashi laughed even more at Sasuke's now extremely annoyed expression. I think he got it. The 'tulip' thing. But if anything, it must have confused him even more. Then, I decided to give the poor Uchiha a break. It was bad enough that in one week, Orochimaru was going to go after his body. Even if he does go join him later.

I patted the spot next to me, indicating him to sit down. His expression hardened, but he sat down anyway. Somewhere in my peripheral vision, I saw Sakura's jealous, furious face. She probably thinks that I am going to steal her 'precious Sasuke-kun'. No way. I'm not a least bit interested in Sasuke. I was interested in... someone else.

But, however now, I wasn't going to tell her _that_ and ruin all my fun, was I? I scooted even closer to the angry Uchiha, smiled sweetly and pressed play.

He raised his eyebrow at the familiar setting in the video, the ninja academy. But then, the screen was filled with him and Naruto kissing. His reaction rather funny.  
"What... the... hell?" He stared at the computer with a horrified face. His eyes were practically bugging out of their sockets and his mouth was gaping. I giggled. He turned to look at me.  
"What... the... _HELL_ is this?" His past expression was gone and he now looked absolutely furious. His cheeks were slightly peachy in... embarrassment, I guess.  
"Awww. Sasuke's getting all _defensive_! How sweet!" Yuuki and I said at the exact same time. Sasuke glared daggers at me, my two friends, at Kakashi-sensei, at Naruto, then back at the computer. I saw his eyes flash in inspiration. But I reacted faster that him. I grabbed my laptop before he could lunge at -and probably destroy- it and started running. He jumped onto his feet and followed me. I laughed like a maniac as I moved like a bullet around the river bank, then into the river itself.

"GIVE THAT TO ME!" yelled Sasuke, now red in the face. It could have been because he had just stopped running around, or it could have been because I was now showing the video to Naruto. The Uchiha stood frozen on spot as I hit play. I was aware that Sakura was looking over the blond genin's shoulder, but that was just a minor detail.  
Naruto watched the video. His face was instantly red. He clasped the side of his head and jumped away from me.  
"NOOOO! Bad memories! Bad memories! Get it _away_ from me!" He was hopping around, splashing water everywhere. It was kind of funny.

Sakura was still staring blankly at the screen. I snapped my fingers in front of her face. She didn't react. OK, this was starting to creep me out. I held onto her shoulder, and started shaking her. She snapped out of it.  
"Woah! Haruno! What's wrong?" She looked at me for a while, then at the still hopping Naruto, then at the at still frozen Sasuke, then back at me.  
"Where did you get the video?"  
"I have my ways."

"Want to see it again?"  
"OK." I pressed play again.  
"NOOOOO!" screamed the two other frantic genins, suddenly snapping out of whatever they were doing. They both tried to grab my laptop away from me. I laughed at their failed attempt. They ended up falling in the water with a splash. Even Sakura was laughing at them. I guess she must have learned her lesson when I yelled at her in the face half an hour ago.

Eventually, the two boys calmed down. They were huffing and bending over. I guess I was a pretty fast runner. I tucked my laptop into my pocket, after minimizing it.  
"Don't worry you two. This will stay between us. And Sakura-chan, Yuuki-chan, Ryo-kun and Kakashi-sensei." I smiled at the still panting Naruto and Sasuke and skipped over to the three people still sitting on dry land. They were holding their sides laughing. I put all my things down next to them, then grabbed my friends and pulled them into the river.  
"Let's help the genins with their mission. We slowed them down, so if we don't want to miss any 'important events', we probably should give them a hand."

"Um... 'We'?"

...

Half and hour later, the water was clean. Finally.  
"Aw man... That was tiring! I would sure go to Ichiraku's right about now for a quick bite." Said the blonde genin. My friends and I suddenly remembered the ramen we brought.  
"Ha! Wait a minute!" We rushed up the bank and grabbed the four boxed lunched. We handed one to each ninja. They were surprisingly still warm. Got to love ninja food. When Naruto opened his box, he practically started crying tears of joy.  
"How did you guys know that it was my favorite? Thank you! Itadakimasu!" Then he started eating. Like a real animal. Man, he really does love his food. All the other ninjas looked shocked, but accepted their food with a polite 'Itadakimasu'.

Yuuki was now staring expectantly at Kakashi. I looked over at him. He hadn't touch the food. If he was going to eat he first had to uncover his mouth and...  
"KAKASHI-SENSEI! Take off your mask! Come on!" Shouted Naruto. I guess he was impatient to see how his jonin leader would look without half of his face covered. I was pretty excited too.  
Kakashi smiled his 'eye smile' and before we could blink, he was gone.

I looked around for him. Half a minute later, he was back with an empty food box.  
"It was very good. Thank you." I glared at him for hiding his real smile from us, but that didn't last long. How could you glare at Kakashi if he is actually smiling at you? I sure would like to know.

When they had finished, Team Seven had to go to the Hokage tower to get another mission. This was probably a good time to get a real permission. When no one was looking, we escaped from our ninja friends and ran around the tower, looking for some one that could help us.  
Eventually, we did. It was a random person I didn't know, but he was smart-looking and we asked him if he knew someone that could provide us with documents. He said that he was the one for the job.  
"Name?"  
"Himeko Tanaka, Yuuki Tanaka, Ryo Murakami."  
"Age?"  
"13."  
"Rank?"  
"...Genin."  
"Country?"  
"Peace & Love."  
"No such thing."  
"We were... um... abandoned at young age and trained ourselves to become ninja. That is what we call ourselves since we grew up with no real village. The three ninjas that lived on Love, and that wish for Peace."  
The guy stared at as a bit, looked at our forehead protectors, smiled sadly at us and bought our story.

"OK then." I held back a triumphant grin.  
"Reason for stay?"  
"Chuunin exams."  
"Ah... Yes. They are quite a lot of applicants this year. Good luck. Make sure to go to the administration in three days to sign up."  
"Thank you!" We smiled and took our documents after he stamped them.  
Wow, that was _way_ to easy. Once we were safe outside the door, we high-fived and chuckled all our way out to join Team Seven.

Naruto looked happy to see us again. Sasuke nodded to my friends and glared daggers at me. Kakashi smiled, indicating we friends as long as we didn't try to steal his book. Sakura grinned at me. I think that means that we were friends too.  
"OK. Our next mission is to go dog walking. There were only three dogs so I'm afraid you three won't have anything to do." said the Jonin, obviously thinking -and maybe hoping- that we would ditch them. I smiled innocently.  
"Oh, that is to bad... Well, I guess we will just have to accompany you guys then!" At this Naruto grinned.  
"YEAH! You guys should totally come! I gonna pick the biggest dog and beat Sasuke! Believe it!"  
"Hn. In your dreams loser." smirked the Uchiha. I am happy to see that the 'kiss' event didn't totally change their attitudes towards each other. Naruto fumed at him for a while, before we all left on _their_ mission.

...

Naruto got dragged off into the minefield by a huge dog.  
"Should we stop him?" asked Ryo. I watched for a few more seconds. The explosions started. We all watched fascinated as Naruto flied through the sky. Sasuke smirked.  
"Nah, the baka will live."  
"It's a to late anyway. Let's just go find whatever is left of him before the dog decides to finish him off."

...

"You are such a _loser_." Sasuke and Ryo were carrying a pretty deep fried Naruto between them.  
"Naruto-kun, are you OK?" asked Yuuki, glaring at Sasuke. Naruto smiled at her.  
"Yeah, I'm fine Yuuki-chan! Believe it!" We didn't miss the smug look he sent the Uchiha.  
"Tsk. You don't look so fine to me idiot."  
"SHUT UP!" Naruto yanked his arms out of Ryo and Sasuke's grasp. He glared at his teammate.  
"You are the reason that our teamwork doesn't work! It's all your fault Sasuke! You just can't mind your own business can you?"

Sakura and I held him back before he could attack. I joined Yuuki in glaring at Sasuke. He always makes fun of Naruto, calling him a loser or idiot. Even if he is right sometimes, it's mean.

"If you want me to stop saving you, then become stronger than me usuratonkachi." Naruto tensed up and stared daggers at Sasuke. They seemed to have a stare-down. Like in Far West movies. I think I even saw Naruto's hand twitch towards his kunai. It was all silent.  
I fake-coughed. Yuuki and Ryo did the same. Sasuke looked at me, clearly annoyed.  
"What?"  
"Awkward silence, I hate awkward silences." Just then, an eagle passed above our heads, making a screeching noise.  
"See, even the friggin' bird agrees. So please stop, enough with these silent moments. They creep me out. And... THE EAGLE!" I screamed, excited. "Kakashi-sensei! That's your cue!" He glanced at me knowingly.  
"Yes. I need to file the mission reports before meeting Lord Hokage. You are dismissed."  
Sasuke started walking away. I stared at his back. Damn, he was rude sometimes. I hate rude people almost as much as awkward silences. I was going to stop him, but Sakura beat me to it.

"Sasuke? Do you want to go on a date? It could improve our teamwork!" Urg, this girl will never take a hint will she? Just like Ino. This was a scene that I remembered the ending of.  
"Instead of flirting, why don't you practice your jutsu and make our team stronger? Face it, you're even worse than Naruto." I mouthed the words as Sasuke said them. Yeah, I'm so obsessed in manga and anime that I practically remember all the lines. Unfortunately, Sasuke noticed.

"Himeko-san, you are _not _normal. Who are you? What are you?"  
"Um... A girl?" I tilted my head to my left and smiled innocently.  
"Stop messing with me!" he yelled, furious. This boy has to learn to chose his words more carefully when talking to a person that could twist them around.  
"Huh? What do you mean Sasuke-kun? I _am_ a girl. Do you need proof? Or is this enough?" I slowly blew him an air kiss.

Yuuki, Ryo and Kakashi were now laughing their asses off. Naruto and Sakura looked shocked. Sasuke was flushing in anger. Man, it was fun to mess with him.

"As much as I want to stay here and chat with you, I need to go. I don't want to be late again." Kakashi calmed down from his laughing fit, smiled at me and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"That's it. I going home." Sasuke turned around and walked away. I decided to let him go. I seriously had fun messing with him today, but I had as much time as I wanted to to make things even worse for him. That ought to teach him about treating Naruto better. Naruto was so kind and generous...and was now being followed by a square box painted like a rock.

I watched as he dashed around, trying to shake off his stalker. He turned around, shouted at the box, then it exploded.  
Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon appeared.  
"Hiya boss!" shouted the three hyper mini-ninja.  
"Oh, hey guys!" shouted back Naruto. Konohamaru grinned at his idol then spotted me, Yuuki and Sakura.

"Hey... Boss? Who are these all these pretty girls? Which one's your girlfriend?" Naruto turned to us and smiled widely.  
"Ah! This is Himeko-chan and Yuuki-chan. And that's Ryo. I just met them a few hours ago. They're pretty cool. This is Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon. They're from the academy. They totally adore me." I smiled at the three kids. They were so cute, always sticking up for Naruto no matter what. They were like his miniature clones. And so innocent. Oh, wait, scratch that. Konohamaru was grinning evilly, like Kakashi when he got to the good part of his book.

"Hiya! I'm going to be Hokage one day! After Naruto of course! Well, boss, you have _three _girls here. If these _two_ are your _friends_... Then is the last one your... you know?" He indicated Sakura. I saw Yuuki and Ryo sigh. We all knew where this was going to end... Oh. Wait, now I'm excited.  
"Yeah. She is. You can tell she is crazy 'bout me!" replyer Naruto...and Sakura punched him in the face. Ryo caught Naruto before he got any more damaged. I ran over towards where all the little people were crowded around their 'boss'. Poor Naruto, so many punches in one day. I placed one hand on his head and healed him up a bit. Yeah, I can do medical jutsus. So can the rest of my team. We didn't come to this world unprepared.  
I heard Konohamaru yell something at Sakura, and he ended up lying next to Naruto. Ryo started healing him too. I hope that the kunoichi didn't hit him too hard. He wasn't very resistant at his age.

Then Konohamaru insulted Sakura's forehead. This kid seriously needs to write his will before doing things like this.

He and Naruto started to run for their lives to escape the pink haired terminator kunoichi. Then, it happened.  
_BAM!  
_The younger boy crashed straight into the puppet-nin and his fan-wielding sister.

...

**I finally finished this chapter! I apologize again for taking so long. In exchange, I've made it longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoyed it.  
Note: usuratonkachi means useless.  
I absolutely adore the sand siblings. Get ready to meet them.  
Gaah.. I'm going to die of excitement. I hope not though, or I'm never going to meet them.  
Review please! ~~XOXO HimekoUchia**


	6. Awkward silences, and even more staring

**I finally made 'Ryo' read this fanfic. He is now my beta, sort of. Thanks Ryo!  
OK. I don't own Naruto. I don't know about other fanfic authors like me, but it is very painful for the heart to have to write that. But, sadly, it's very true. I do not own Temari, Kankuro or Gaara... After typing that, I just felt like crying. If I owned Gaara... He wouldn't have to worry about loneliness issues. *evil grin*  
Right. Chapter. Enjoy! Sand Sibs are my favorite team _ever_!**

…

___Last Chapter:_

Then Konohamaru insulted Sakura's forehead. This kid seriously needs to write his will before doing things like this.

_He and Naruto started to run for their lives to escape the pink haired terminator kunoichi. Then, it happened.  
BAM!  
The younger boy crashed straight into the puppet-nin and his fan-wielding sister._

_..._

I was expecting this to happen. I mean, I watched this scene close to a hundred times.  
But when I saw Temari and Kankuro, I couldn't stop the fangirl scream. I emptied my lungs in one huge yelp. I then slammed my hands over my mouth to try to shut myself up.  
Oh my god. Temari. I...love...Temari...so...much. In my opinion, she is the hottest, most gorgeous, awesome kunoichi in this world. And her fan is so cool. Her hair is cool. Her eyes are cool. Even her clothes are cool.  
And Kankuro is pretty amazing too. Without the crazy makeup - I mean war-paint - he would probably look _way_... handsomer, I guess. I just don't want to go anyway near that creepy puppet of his though.  
I know that Ryo thinks that Kankuro is a freak. I hope he doesn't do anything to careless. I don't want them to hate us, not to mention try to fry us, which _might_ just be a painful experience. I don't really know about how much he likes Temari though.  
What I did know was that Yuuki screamed just as loud as me.

All of the ninjas, including the minis, were staring at us. My friends and I were stared at a lot in the past few hours. First, Team Gai. Then, Team Asuma, Team Kurenai and the rest of the barbeque house. Then it was the Sound Team, the weapon store, Teuchi and Ayame. And Team Seven.

"That hurt." said Kankuro when he had stopped the giving us a once over.

That line made me snap out of my daze. I slid over to where he was standing and pulled Konohamaru out of his reach. Keep the little kids out of this. I had no idea how Kankuro was going to react to my stealing of his 'prey'. So, I smiled sweetly up at him and hoped for the best.

"Hi! Sorry 'bout that! My name is Tanaka Himeko! I think you're awesome." I looked at his face. Please don't be angry and try to kill me... I'm to young to experience near death... I think Kankuro likes being flattered because he was now grinning his face off. In a way that made me want to laugh.  
"Well, hello there, cutie! Himeko-chan right? My name is Kankuro. You might want to remember that name, because we are probably going to meet again." I felt like gagging and sniggering. I think that I just found a perfect victim. And I also think I just got a really evil plan. Teach this ninja a lesson about hitting on girls that he just met, especially if they are younger than him.  
I stood up straight and batted my eyelashes at him.

"Actually, I already know who you are. You are Kankuro. Kankuro the _perv_."  
It took a few seconds for my words to sink in around me. When they did, I heard five people laugh their asses off. Those people were Naruto, Konohamaru, Ryo, Yuuki and Temari. I looked at the blonde kunoichi. When she calmed down, she grinned at me.  
"Well, Himeko-chan. I'm Temari. And I'm going to be honest with you: I'm liking you already." Her words made my thoughts do a double flip. Yes! Temari thinks I'm nice! That was very, very good thing! Even if Kankuro probably wants to stab me now.  
"Geez, thanks Temari. And _you_, what did you just call me?"  
"A perv. I know that you are, don't deny it. Oh, and there is this series called Make-Out Paradise if you're interested. I hear that it is very... graphic." He glared murderously at me.  
"I've already read all of the books."

His expression changed from furious to sheepish.

Now everyone was laughing together. Even Kankuro. I'm happy to see that he had a sense of humor. And I will have to update my Best Of! when I have time.

"Well, Himeko-chan, you've got me. I must say I'm very surprised that my reputation has already spread all over Konoha. I've hardly been here for a day!" He grinned at me and patted me on the shoulder. So I guess that he suddenly was my friend now.  
"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm just psychic. This annoying girl is Tanaka Yuuki, my cousin. And the guy with blond hair is Uzumaki Naruto. That's Sakura. The guy with short black hair is Murakami Ryo and this is Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon." I introduced everyone. I hope that they didn't mind. Yuuki was pouting, because I called her annoying. Ryo was smiling nicely to the two sand nins. So was Naruto. I glad that this situation didn't turn into a little kid beat up session.

_Hello again. _Oh, hi mental voice. What do you want? I'm kinda busy, if you didn't notice. _Oh, I did notice. I also notice that you are standing in front of the Sand Sibs. And I mean standing, not glomping. What's wrong with you? _You've got a point...

"TEMARI! You are so awesome and gorgeous and cool and smart and pretty! I love you!" Everyone turned to stare at me. Temari looked at me with a shocked expression, as if I had told her that Gaara was currently in an adorable panda bear costume and was handing sweets out to little kids.

I don't think that the Kazekage's children encounter many obsessive fans on a regular basis.  
"Um...Thank? I guess." She smiled uneasily. I heard Ryo and Yuuki cough fakely to cover up the fact that they were laughing. They both knew that the Sand Team was my favorite, and that the only reason that I didn't run up to them crying and start hugging the daylight out of them was that I was trying to befriend them. And I don't think suffocating a person was a good way to do that. Plus, they would try to kill me. And that could mess up my clothes.  
Kankuro then noticed something.  
"Hey, what village are you guys from? I've never seen that headband before. Why is it written 'love' on it?" Oh, right. I almost forgot about that.  
"We are from the Land of Peace & Love! It doesn't exist. We don't have a village. However, we do have these awesome homemade forehead protectors. And ninja skills. I guess."  
"Strange." he replied, shrugging.  
"Says the guy from the desert wearing _black_. Seriously, do you know what's a heat stroke?"  
"This is a puppet master's costume. It doesn't absorb heat." he looked at me with a 'duh, what world do you live in' look.  
"Oh. Cool!" I squealed happily. I finally found out about the mystery that is Kankuro's fashion sense. Well, maybe not.  
But still, I was glad that Kankuro had a good reason to wear that black outfit. He just went up in my like-rank.

"You are a long way from home."  
We all turned to fix the tree. Sasuke was sitting in it. Without a rock this time. Good.  
"Oh! Hiya Sasuke-kun! Is it comfy up there?" he glared at me, indicating that I was still on his I-wanna-kill-list.  
"Hn. What is this about?" He ignored me. Kankuro stared up at the Uchiha. I wonder how this was going to work out. I decided that I liked the whole 'let's be friends' idea.  
"Well, Sasuke-kun. This is Kankuro and Temari. They're from Suna. If you came down here to properly introduce yourself, it would be more polite."

Sasuke obviously didn't care if he was impolite or not towards outsiders. He just continued sitting in his tree. I wanted to hit him. But I wasn't going to, because I was trying to avoid violence, until the chunnin exams. But the ninjas probably didn't read my mind. Kankuro included.

"You heard her, punk. Get down here. You seem like the all-attitude type. But nothing under to back it up. I hate people like you." Well, so much for my 'friends' idea.

I turned to the make-up wearing ninja.

"Oh my god! Sasuke _is_ the all-attitude-and-hot-looks-but-nothing-under-but-bitterness-type. You are _good!_" I grinned at the puppet-nin. He raised his eyebrow.  
"YES! He is! He is!" screamed Naruto.  
"Shut up you baka!" Sasuke was extremely pissed at Naruto and I. We made him look bad. Whoops, my bad. I mentally evil-grinned. For once, he wasn't getting all the attention and glory. But then Kankuro pulled the Crow off his back. Wha-...?  
"You pesky little snot. If you are not coming down, I'm going to bring you down." Oh, great... The creepy puppet. How nice.

"Kankuro. Back off." Everybody froze... That voice. I knew that voice. It was...

We all turned to look at Gaara, who was hanging upside down from the tree. That was bad-ass.

I stared at Gaara. He was just like I imagined him, only even better in person. His gourd. His clothes. His calm posture. His awesome brick red hair. His emotionless expression. The 'ai' tattoo above his left eye. Man, he was amazing, and hot. Whatever I was going to say got stuck in my throat, and I just continued staring, like the Gaara worshiper I was.  
"H...Hey Gaara." Even Kankuro's words didn't snap me out of my daze. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered Yuuki and Ryo telling me to get a hold of myself. I didn't.

Then, Gaara's eyes shifted from Sasuke to me. His gorgeous, black-rimmed, sea green eyes. Suddenly, my voice came back. I wanted to fangirl scream. I was going to fangirl scream. I was... shoving my fist into my mouth, and biting down, hard. I heard a few gasps around me.

"H-Himeko-san? Wha-Why did you just...?" Sakura eyed my hand, which had started bleeding. Ow. That hurt. But at least I didn't want to scream anymore. I placed my other hand on top of the bleeding one and healed myself.  
"Oh, this? It was either my poor, innocent hand, or your poor, innocent ear drums." Everyone stared at me, confused and shocked. Well, Gaara just looked cool and calm as always.

"What do you mean?"  
"Tsk. Sakura-chan, as a fellow fangirl, you should understand." Sakura gave me a uncertain smile. She then looked from Sasuke to Gaara.  
"Oooooooh... I get." she giggled at me.  
"What?" said everybody else, excluding Yuuki, Ryo and Gaara, of course.  
"Umm... nothing." I turned away form the crowd -and the hot red head- blushing.

Then, Gaara teleported using his sand, and landed on the ground beside his siblings.  
"COOOOOL! GAARA! DO THAT AGAIN!" I couldn't stop myself from yelling. I saw Ryo and Yuuki sweat-drop. I mean, it's Gaara we're talking about here. Dangerous Gaara. Psychotic murderer Gaara. Jinchuriki Gaara. Smexy Gaara. You get the point.

Temari and Kankuro gawked at me. Their brother's eyes widened for a split second before he went back to his signature face of coldness.

"How do you know my name?" he asked in an emotionless voice. I was going to reply, but then Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Temari, Kankuro, Ryo and Yuuki did it for me:  
"She is psychic." they all said at the exact same time. I couldn't help laughing.  
"Yeah. Apparently, I am." I smiled at Gaara. His eyes looked surprised. Well, yeah, since his face contains no emotion, I just read him through his beautiful, gorgeous, deep-sea green... Yeah. Seeing that, I then grinned at him. His eyes looked even more surprised.  
I now wanted to beat the living daylight out of all the mother-f-ing assholes that made Gaara and his siblings into teenagers that were shocked whenever people treated them nicely. Well, not-so-living daylight in Yashamaru's case. He was the one who turned Gaara into an -adorable- psycho in the first place. A psycho who had an incredibly nice...

"Ahem." Of course, Yuuki had to interrupt my thoughts. Everyone turned to look at her. She saw me glaring at her. Then she just rolled her eyes. "Whoops. Sorry Hime-chan, I didn't mean to interrupt your stare-at-Gaara's-ass moment. Keep going."...

... Now, that was a record holding awkward silence...

...I was seriously gonna kill her for saying that. My face heated up very, very quickly.  
"WHA-WHAT? I wasn't staring at Gaara's _ass_! If you didn't notice, I was staring at his... at his... _eyes_!" Well, it was half the truth, I _was _staring at his eyes. Yuuki giggled at my failed attempt. Because everyone was still staring at me with an open mouth. Including Gaara. When I glanced at him, his expression changed from dumbfounded to suspicious. Oh, great. He probably thought I was a creepy stalker who stared at his ass. Thanks Yuuki.  
I had nothing else to say. The awkward silence drew on. I mentally begged someone to break it. Someone did.

"Um... Why did you three Suna ninja come to Konoha?" I wanted to hug Sasuke for saving me. But I didn't.  
"...Uh... Chunnin exams?" said Temari. It sounded like a question. She stared at me some more, then looked at Gaara. Good, something to talk about.  
"Oh yeah! The chunnin exams! That's what Ryo, Yuuki and I are here for too!" By now, people had stopped looking at me as if I was complete freak.  
"Huh? What's the chunnin exams?" asked Naruto. OK, we were back on track.  
"It's the exams genins have to pass to reach chunnin rank. The journeymen ninja." replied Sakura.

"Hn...Training. Temari, Kankuro, come." said Gaara, who had turned around and started walking away.  
"Wait, you. With the gourd. Who are you?" asked Sasuke. I would have given him a lecture about manners again, if I wasn't to busy staring at Gaara's a-...back. The red head turned around. He knew that Sasuke already knew his name, since I shouted it out and stuff. But he answered the Uchiha's question anyway. I think that saying your own name out loud is considered an obligation with ninjas or something.  
"I am Gaara... of the Desert. I'm curious about you too. Who are you? And who are you?" The last question was directed to me. I got butterflies in my stomach.  
"I am Sasuke... Uchiha."  
"I'm Himeko... Tanaka." Sasuke gave me a weird look. "What? Both of you made that catchy pause!"  
"Do you want to know what _my_ name is?" asked a hopeful Naruto.  
"I couldn't care less." I patted Naruto on the back. I guess it was hard to steal the Uchiha's spotlight when you were a clumsy knucklehead. Temari and Kankuro waved at us before following their brother.

When they had disappeared, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.  
"I'M ALIVE!" I yelled happily.  
"Yeah, I thought that Gaara was going to kill you or something." said Ryo. This was the first time that I heard his voice since Gaara had appeared. It was comforting.  
"No! That's not what I meant! I thought that I was going to die of embarrassment!" I then glared at Yuuki and lunged at her. I missed her by an inch. She was laughing her butt off.  
"Ha! Hime-chan! You should have seen your face!" I continued trying to kill her. After two more minutes, I decided against it. She _was_ my cousin after all.  
"ARGH! Because of you, Gaara now thinks that I am a creepy bitch!"  
"Nah, I'm sure he was flattered to have you stare at his ass. And, by the way, you _are_ a creepy bitch." I rolled my eyes. Thanks to her, all chances of having Gaara not hate me were now completely squished. I smacked her for the comment. And remembered something.

"Oh. Sasuke-kun? Thanks." I said, genuinely grateful. He looked curiously at me. For the first time, I had actually said something that wasn't insulting to him!  
"For what?"  
"For changing the subject when _somebody_ decided to embarrass her cousin to death."  
"Oh. Your welcome, I guess." He looked at me for a few more seconds, before walking away.  
"I have to go. Bye." I stared at his duck-butt hair.  
"Urg... Me too. I'm gonna find something to eat. I haven't eaten in, like, two hours!" Naruto walked away, followed by his three little minions: Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon.  
"I'm going to go train. See ya!" Sakura smiled and took off.

My friends and I went from surrounded to completely deserted. We were just between us. It was silent without Naruto.  
"I still want to kill you." I glared. Yuuki smiled sheepishly. I then laughed at the memory of Gaara's incredulous face. It was simply priceless. Was it worth the embarrassment? Maybe, maybe not. I guess that I'll just have to let things flow. I glanced around, then started walking down the road.  
"So... What are we going to do now?" asked Ryo. I tapped my chin. I had no idea what we could do for another six days. Wait, I did.  
"Let's go stalk the Sand Sibs. We didn't have any alone time with them. We were stuck with all the others around too. And I want to set something straight with Gaara: I wasn't staring at his ass... Not really anyway." We all laughed out loud. Oh, yes, I definitely wasn't finished with Gaara yet. I pointed to my left.  
"I think that they went... that way."

...

**OK... I have no idea if that was good of not... Can anyone tell me? Yeah, in other words, please review.  
If I met Gaara, I'm pretty sure I would have fainted... But that wouldn't have been very interesting to write about. I don't even know what it's like to pass out.  
And since I **_**love**_** the Sand Sibs **_**so much**_**, I'm going to give them their own chapter. So that I can really mess with them. And Baki. It might be a bit shorter. Maybe. Or longer.  
I thought it would be nice to publicly thank my reviewers so a hugemungous thank you to: kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, forever-sweet, Suezanne and Dawnstep. ~~XOXO HimekoUchia**


	7. Shock, Phone and other random Cookies!

**I do not own Naruto! Or Gaara. Or Temari. Or Kankuro. Or Baki. Or anything that belongs to the incredible mangaka that created all of this.  
So... La la la! Sand Team only chapter! Oh, yeah, I love these guys!**…_**...**_

_..._

_Last Chapter:_

_"Let's go stalk the Sand Sibs. We didn't have any alone time with them. We were stuck with all the others around too. And I want to set something straight with Gaara: I wasn't staring at his ass... Not really anyway." We all laughed out loud. Oh, yes, I definitely wasn't finished with Gaara yet. I pointed to my left.  
"I think that they went... that way." _

_..._

We walked down the street where we last saw the Sand trio. After about twenty minutes of searching, we found the place where they were training. It was in the forest behind the cliff that had four Hokage faces carved into it. And there quite a lot of sand there. Surprise surprise.

The entire team was there. Kankuro was sparring against Temari and Gaara was up against Baki. That guy looked really strict. They were mostly practicing some taijutsu, which they didn't seem to enjoy doing.

"Oh! Let's go say hi!" Yuuki said cheerfully. Ryo and I each grabbed one of her arms and pulled her back behind the bushes before she could stand up. I waited a few seconds, mentally begging that no one heard her. Apparently, no one did.  
"Yuu-chan. We are _stalking _them. They aren't supposed to know it until absolutely necessary." I whispered.  
"Huh? Why not?"  
"If we reveal ourselves, what are we going to tell them? Oh, hi guys, we are stalking you, hope you don't mind and try to kill us?" I said, frustrated. Understanding filled my friend's face.  
"Ohhhhhh... Right, that sort of makes sense."  
"Shhhh... Keep quiet." said Ryo. He looked as if he enjoyed watching the Sand Team training. I didn't really care about that violent fighting stuff. I just stared at Gaara. Man, he was cool.  
Especially now. I mean, Gaara is already pretty awesome just standing still controlling his sand, but imagine Gaara doing something physical. Yeah, I was in heaven.

Hm. Something was still missing though.  
Then it hit me.  
I grabbed my scroll out of my pocket and summoned... popcorn. I handed some to each of my teammates. Yuuki chuckled and started eating whilst staring, absorbed in the ninja's sparring. Ryo gave me a weird look before taking his popcorn. I could then concentrate on the 'show'.

Gaara was fighting his sensei. Throwing punches, kicking and stuff. For someone who doesn't move a lot, he was pretty good. He didn't manage to hit Baki once though. And whenever Baki would punch Gaara, sand would jump up to his defense. Technically, not much was happening, but for a Gaara fan like myself, a flesh and blood ninja was a miracle. Hell, even a picture of Gaara was drool worthy.  
I looked glanced at Temari and Kankuro. They were fighting like... ninja. I slammed my hands over my mouth to stop myself from chuckling. Temari was easily winning. Poor Kankuro, he was getting beaten up pretty badly.

I suddenly got a suicidal idea, but it seemed fun. I grabbed my scroll, summoned my sketchbook and wrote something on a blank page, then ripped it out.  
"Himeko! Shh..." Oh, shoot, that was pretty loud. The four ninjas in the clearing stopped what they wear doing and looked in our direction.

"Huh? What was that?" asked Kankuro. Baki and Temari started walking towards the place we were hiding. I felt Ryo and Yuuki stiffen besides me. OK, what do we do now?  
I just trusted my instincts.

I stuffed the piece of paper into my pocket then I jumped out of my hiding place, startling the ninjas a great deal.  
"HIYA! How's life?"  
Temari and Kankuro smiled a bit when they saw me. Gaara looked as if he didn't even notice. And Baki... well...  
"Who are you? Who do you think you are? What are you doing here? Are you alone? Do you realize that you interrupted our training session?"

I sighed loudly. I didn't know that this guy was the curious type. I answered every single one of his questions anyway.  
"Himeko Tanaka, Tanaka Himeko, stalking, no, yes. Glad to meet you too!"  
Baki gave me a weird look.  
"Stalking? Who? Us? And who else is with you?"  
"Again with the questions. Yes, I am stalking you guys. More specifically, I am stalking Temari, Kankuro and Gaara. And my team is with me."

Yuuki and Ryo took this as their cue and entered. Temari, Baki and Kankuro looked surprised. Gaara looked... cold and calm. And hot.  
A silence reigned as Baki stared at us. Probably wondering if we were a threat, or if we were naive brats. Then Kankuro spoke up.  
"Oh... Hi there Himeko-chan! I see you can't stay away from me for too long! You didn't need to stalk me though, I won't mind spending more time with you! No need to hide!" Baki looked horrified at me. Everybody apart him, and Gaara of course, started laughing.  
"Hi again Kankuro! Sorry to interrupt your training. And, I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but I was mostly stalking Temari and Gaara." I patted softly him on the shoulder. "Oh, Baki-san. This is my cousin Tanaka Yuuki and my best friend Murakami Ryo. And I know your name because I am psychic, so please don't ask. And I've already met your students." Baki looked curiously -again with the curiosity- at us. By that, I mean all six of us teenagers. Then his eyes stopped at Kankuro, then looked back to me. His face lost all curiosity and clearly said 'I don't want to know, ever'. I mentally chuckled.

"Um... Fine. Quick break. Kankuro, tend to your wounds. And don't..." I knew what he was going to say... _Don't get to close, we've gotta kill them later remember? _Baki returned to his authoritarian expression and went over to the other side of the clearing, probably trying to get as far away from Gaara as possible. I now want to punch him too. Oh, great.  
But, anyways... YES! Sand Sibs!  
Yuuki was helping Kankuro with his bandages. When his legs and arms were covered up, I saw her gently touch them. Kankuro was going to be surprised when his wounds magically disappeared. Well, healed, really.  
Gaara was sitting detached from the rest of the group. I had a choice: Temari or Gaara? I saw Ryo walk over to the kunoichi to chat.  
So I skipped over to the red head.

I saw him lift his eyes to me when I walked over. I felt some fluttering in my stomach again. I've got it bad for this guy. But he was still Gaara. So I didn't run up to him to glomp him, no matter how hard it was to resist the urge. I just sat next to him. I was aware that Baki was staring horrified at me. Feeling something tick inside of me, I stuck my tongue out to him. The jonin looked at me, taken aback. Gaara noticed.

"What are you doing?" I was surprised he was even talking to me.  
"Sorry, I just really hate it when people look at you like that." He turned his head to look at me, confused and slightly suspicious. He didn't forget the 'ass' incident.  
"What do you want from me?" He asked coldly. Now that was a hard question. What did I want from Gaara? I wanted him to be my friend. I want him to like me. I want him to be so close to me that I can kiss him. But like hell I was saying that. He would crush me under a ton of sand.  
"Um... Well... I have a question that I always wanted to ask you if I ever met you. So... can I?"

He looked at me in the eyes, searching. For hate, for fear. But no matter how hard he searched, he would never find any. Not in my eyes. I smiled sweetly at him. His eyes looked shocked. I just had another I-wanna-punch-Yashamaru's-dead-ass moment. But then he nodded.

"OK! I've always wanted to know... What did you call your teddy bear when you were five?"

I saw his face fall in surprise. I don't think he expected that.  
"WHAT?" I was aware that Baki and Kankuro were starting to look really worried. I ignored their looks that were telling me to run for my life.  
"Yeah. You heard me right. I'm weird like that. But really, I'm super curious. What did you call him? If he even had a name. Or was it a girl teddy?" His eyes now screamed Oh-great-so-this-girl-who-doesn't-hate-my-guts-is-a-complete-freak. It was too cute. To bad he went back to his cold mask. The truth is, I didn't expect him to answer. I just felt like messing with him a bit. He looked like a confused panda. But it was my turn to be extremely surprised. He did answer.

"I called him Kankuro. I pretended that he was my real brother, until I realized that I didn't need him. So I got rid of him by shredding him to pieces." He now had a half crazed look. Over the memory of a stuffed toy. The words sounded somewhat Gaara-ish, but still. It was childishly adorable, in a strange way.

I started laughing like a deranged maniac. I couldn't stop my giggling. I grabbed onto my stomach and kept laughing. Everyone in the clearing was now staring at me and Gaara. The jinchuriki had gone back to his calm face and was now staring at me too. I did realize that he might kill me for laughing at him, but really, I couldn't help it. I calmed down and wiped tears from my eyes. I grinned at Gaara. But he wasn't grinning back, obviously. I felt an evil aura envelope him. I saw everyone in the clearing back away.  
Oh, shoot. Must distract him from killing me.  
I pulled my computer out of my pocket. I did the whole 'maximize it-turn it on'. I felt Gaara trying to hide his curiosity. Suna obviously had no laptops. I felt Yuuki and Ryo give me questioning looks. I searched my Best of! File, and decided this was a really good moment to update it.

_Best of!  
_"_I am still human and have a natural reaction to your... comical discomfort." -Shino Aburame"_

_"Himeko-san, you are not normal. Who are you? What are you?"-Sasuke Uchia_  
_"Um... A girl?" -Himeko  
"Stop messing with me!" -Sasuke Uchia  
"Huh? What do you mean Sasuke-kun? I am a girl. Do you need proof?" -Himeko  
_  
_"What did you just call me?" -Kankuro_  
_"A perv. I know that you are, don't deny it. Oh, and there is this series called Make-Out Paradise if __you're interested. I hear that it is very... graphic." -Himeko_  
_"I've already read all of the books." -Kankuro_

Gaara looked over my shoulder (I had no idea that he would find my stuff interesting) and I saw his eyes narrow in disgust at what I had typed. I saw him shoot his brother a creepy look.

_"I called him Kankuro. I pretended that he was my real brother, until I realized that I didn't need him. So I got rid of him by shredding him to pieces." -Gaara_

The jinchuriki was slightly confused.I illuminated him.  
"This, Gaara, is my Best of! I write funny quotes and conversations down to remember them. As you see, Sasuke and Kankuro both have an entry. So does _Shino. _Wow, first him, now _you_. I didn't know either of you could be funny. No offense." I smiled at the red head. He looked disinterested. I know it was fake thought. It was just because the entire clearing had heard what I had said.

"WHAT? Gaara said something _funny? _You kidding me?" exclaimed a shocked Kankuro. Temari grabbed him by the shoulder and pinched him. She gave him a warning look.

"Actually, he said something _hilarious_. For me anyway. I'm sadistic like that. I don't think Kankuro would find it that amusing though. Maybe Temari would find it amusing..."  
"No. Or I will kill you." said Gaara coldly. I didn't even flinch. I guess watching the anime over and over again has made me immune to creepy threats. With one or two exceptions, of course. *cough* Orochimaru *cough*cough* creepy pedophile *cough*. I just raised an eyebrow at the boy.

"Sheesh. It's your secret. Keep it to yourself if you want to. I won't tell anyone. But seriously... If you always keep everything to yourself, you are gonna _explode_ I tell you. Thank you for telling me one of them though. I feel honored. I promise that your secret is safe with me. In here." I smiled at him and placed my right hand over my heart. His eyes widened in pure shock. He probably couldn't believe that I hadn't run or screamed when he threatened me. Or that I was actually still being nice to him.

Gaara. He might be a psychotic murdered, but really, deep down, he isn't evil. Not even now. All those people who insult and try to kill him are just looking for trouble (though killing is a _way_ to harsh punishment, this _is_ a ninja world after all.). If people treated him kindly, he wouldn't have to threaten them to feel respected. I'm not just saying this like that. I don't think it's humanly possible to completely change personality like Gaara did after the exams. He must have had his inner caring-self under his murderous facade. Somewhere. Deep down. It's there... Need to dig _much_ deeper though.

Gaara looked away from me and started glaring at a tree. I glanced at it. It was a plain old tree. Was Gaara frustrated or something?  
"Um... Gaara-kun? What did the tree do to you to make you hate on it like that?" He didn't reply this time, but just flickered his eyes to me before continuing to stare. But Kankuro was giving me a very, very weird, warning look. I smiled and waved at him. I then realized something. I called him Gaara-_kun_ and he didn't even get pissed. I felt like shouting IN YOUR FACE to all those people who called Gaara-_kun_ a 'monster'. They were just to ignorant to realize that Gaara_-kun _wasn't evil unless you tried to put him in danger. Gaara-_kun. _I love how that sounds.

I saw Yuuki and Ryo chuckle silently. I rolled my eyes at them. They knew that I could take care of myself. And that I completely adored Gaara, but that was sort of obvious.  
Temari's expression was different. She looked worried and confused at the same time. And Baki just stared flabbergast at the fact that I was still alive after talking with the red headed ninja.

"OK... Staring at a person for to long makes them uncomfortable. How many times do I have to say that?" Ryo and Yuuki turned back towards whoever they were talking to and claimed their attention. I should remember to thank them later. Baki turned his head away sharply, with no more emotion on his face. Now, all that was left was me, Gaara and a slightly awkward silence. That, to my surprise, Gaara broke, again.

"I am a monster."

It was almost like a question. As if he now expected me to run away screaming. He thought that I didn't know. He actually thought that he was a monster. I held back the urge to hit him on the head.

"No. You are not. Just because Shukaku is sealed inside of you doesn't make _you_ a monster. It makes you brave, strong and a hero. Plus, Ichibi is a demon, not a monster. Technically."  
His expression changed to a frown.

"You... knew..."  
"Well, yeah. You are the jinchuriki of Shukaku. I know some... stuff … about you. I'm psychic remember?" I was not going to talk about his childhood. It would probably make him all psycho.

"Then... Why..."  
"Why am I talking to you? Because you are friggin' awesome, that's why!" I nearly shouted at him. He then looked back at his tree.  
"I wonder if... you could make me feel alive."  
I knew that this meant that he was wondering how it would feel if he killed me. Not that he could hurt me with his sand, but that was entirely other story. He proved his existence by killing others. But he hadn't tried killing me, yet.  
But, of course, when he said that, my mind took an entirely different direction.

"Well, Gaara-kun, I'm pretty sure that I can make you feel alive. But I don't think that we are thinking of the same thing, though." I mentally giggled. Poor guy, he probably didn't meet many obsessive fans with creepy minds.

"How do you mean?" I was about to open my mouth to reply, but then, I heard something that made me freeze in fear.

"_I made it through the wilderness  
Somehow I made it though  
I didn't know how lost I was until I found you..."_

That's funny. Last time I checked, my ring tone was 'Jai Ho' from the Pussycat Dolls. Not 'Like a Virgin' by Madonna. Maybe it was Yuuki's phone? I glanced nervously at her. She indeed was holding her phone, and she was staring evilly at me. Oh, shoot, so she was calling me so that everyone could hear the song that _she_ set as my ring tone. I felt my face heat up.

"_I was beat, incomplete  
I've been had, I was sad and blue..." _

I jumped up like a ninja and searched myself for my mobile. It wasn't in any of my pockets. But it was still ringing. And I knew that the whole clearing was now staring at me. Even Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow. There was no way that I was letting them hear the chorus.

_"But you made me feel._  
_Yeah you made feel... Shiny and new..." _

Oh,shoot.

"_Like a virgin!  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin!  
When your heart beats, next to mine" _

I sighed. I don't think that ninjas listen to Madonna. They all gawked open mouthed at me. Yes, even Gaara. When he saw me notice him, he tried to regain his blank features. But, so far, he couldn't.  
I think I located my phone.

"_Gonna give you all my love boy  
My fear is fading fast  
Didn't save it all for you  
'Cause only love..."_

I took it out of my bra and picked it up. More weird looks.  
"Yes? What can I do for you Yuuki-chan?" I asked in a fake sweet voice, glaring daggers at my two friends who were trying hard to not laugh at my expression.  
"Hah... Hime-chan! Are you enjoying yourself? I mean you do seem pretty happy with the nice view you have. The view of Gaara's..."  
I hung up.  
Everything was eerily slient and very awkward.

Nobody said anything for what seemed like an eternity. I wonder who was going to break the silence this time...

..."Nice song."...

..."Thanks Kankuro."...

… "You should go back to training."...

… "Yes Baki-sensei."

OK, I think that this means that we have to go. Phew. I suddenly remembered the paper I had in my pocket. I put it behind my back and stuck a piece of tape to it.

"Well... Bye Baki-san! Temari! Kankuro! I hope that I see you around Gaara-kun!"

I waved to each of them, then gently patted Gaara in the back. He flinched at my touch, but just glared at me. I giggled. He's still the awesome head red that we all know.  
"Good luck for the chunnin exams! See you guys there!"  
My friends and I left the Sand Sibs to train. I was thinking of the most embarrassing thing I could make my cousin do for all that she has made me suffer.  
But seriously... She was proud of her ring tone... 'Barbie Girl'. And she would make Gaara think that I was a stalker. There was probably nothing I could do to embarass her.  
I couldn't wait for the chunnin exams! Then, I could see all my buddy ninjas again. And I had a few things to show them...

...

**Somewhere else  
**  
"Gaara... I think she likes you." said the puppet-nin, grinning at his little brother. The jinchuriki glared daggers at him and turned away. When he did, he heard three people gasp behind him.  
"WHAT?"  
"N... Nothing..." Temari was chuckling, Baki was smiling and Kankuro was outright laughing his ass off. "That's so... cute..."

Gaara was wondering if he should threaten his team for hiding something from him. He then felt something on his back when he moved.  
"Temari... What is written on it?" He asked in a cold, monotone voice. His sister bit her lip, trying to stop herself from giggling. She walked over to her brother and pulled the tape of him, then showed him the sign.  
_"I like cookies!"_

...

**I **_**finally**_ **finished this chapter! It was **_**full**_ **of randomness... I know. Somehow, I always associate Gaara with cookies.  
I love the Sand Sibs. I adore the Sand Sibs. I worship the Sand Sibs. Which is why I wrote another fanfic dedicated to them! If you guys like them... maybe you'd wanna... you know... check it out?  
I hope that this chapter was funny! The next one will probably be the chunin exams! Thank you to my reviewers :** **dreamingofmagic, Dawnstep, Suezanne, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102 and forever-sweet!  
Love all ya readers! Review if you loved this! Or if you hated this... that's cool too...  
Hey you! (points at screen) I love you!  
~~~ XOXO HimekoUchia**


	8. The Guys are living next door!

**Oh. God. Sorry that I took so long... I finally finished school, so I can finally write.  
So, next up, chunin exams!  
I do not own _any_ of the ninjas appearing here! If I did... They would all sing some embarassing song that I created the lyrics of! All credit goes to Masashi Kishimoto!  
Enjoy!**

...

_Last Chapter:  
Gaara was wondering if he should threaten his team for hiding something from him. He then felt something on his back when he moved.  
"Temari... What is written on it?" He asked in a cold, monotone voice. His sister bit her lip, trying to stop herself from giggling. She walked over to her brother and pulled the tape of him, then showed him the sign.  
"I like cookies!" _

...

After four hours of exploring Konoha and eating at about every dessert shop in the village, it was night time.

"Himeko-chan? Should we go find a place to stay?" I nodded at Ryo.  
"Of course. I mean, I don't mind camping, but this forest might be _filled_ with scary animals, evil ninjas, death traps and even worse... bugs." Yuuki and I shuddered at that thought.  
"Were should we go? Hotel?"  
"Yeah. Let's go find a hotel."

After a few minutes, I remembered something. So did Ryo.  
"Awww man! How are we supposed to find somewhere to stay if we can't even read any of these signs? Only food shops look different from the rest of these buildings..."  
That was a problem. I thought about for a second. If we walked up to every door here and asked them if this was a hotel, we might still be out here for about three days. I sighed and walked up to a guy that I recognized, but didn't remember the name of.

"Hello. I'm sorry to bother you, but can you tell me where Konoha's hotel is? Or do you know where else we can stay?" The man stared at me as if I was an idiot. He pointed to the building to our right.  
"Um... Did you see this sign? This is the place where all the chunin exam participants from other allied nations are staying. You probably want to go there."  
I looked at the sign. It was written in Japanese. But it looked like a hotel.  
"Oh. OK. I knew that. Arigato!"

We walked into the building. It was pretty huge. Quite a lot of people were there and I guess they were all here for the exams. We strolled up to the front desk and ringed that little bell. A nice looking woman in her sixties came up to us with a big file and a big smile.  
"How may I help you kids?"  
"Hi! I was wondering if you have a room for us?"  
"Yes, I do. Room for three?"  
"Actually, could I have one room for two and another room, connected by a door if possible? My friend here is a perv."

The lady gave me an 'ah-the-beauty-of-youth' look and flipped through her file whilst Ryo was thinking of a way to assassinate me, judging by the look on his face.  
"Room 403 and 404. Please write your names here. Here are your keys. Dinner will be served at around seven tonight. I hope you enjoy your stay."

We all signed the paper. Yes, one of the only things we could write in Japanese was our names. It's quite useful to know how to do that. I was about to hand the file to the woman when three kanjis caught my eye. 'I' 'love' and 'Demon'. Self loving demon. Gaara. In room 402. And I guess that the names under his were his siblings and Baki. Room 405, 406 and 401. Okay, this was going to be interesting.

I paid for our stay and the lady handed us our keys. My friends and I ran up to the fourth floor and searched for our rooms. When we found them, I handed Ryo his room key then went through the next door with Yuuki. The room was traditional Japanese and very cosy looking. I skipped over to the door connecting my cousin's and my room to Ryo's and opened it. He came over to our side and sat on the tatami floor.

"So... What now?" Yuuki rolled her eyes.  
"I'm taking a shower. Have fun you two." She skipped over to the bathroom door and locked it behind her. I sighed.  
"Ryo? Guess who is in the room next to yours."  
"Gaara." My eyes widened in surprise.  
"How did you know?"  
"Lucky guess." I laughed out loud. I guess that I'm not always that hard to read.  
"Yeah. Ryo... Just be a little careful. Before we left, I sort of pulled a prank on Gaara so I have no idea how he would react. You are in the room closest to his so I just wanted to give a warning. Just in case." My friend just rolled his eyes.  
"Oh great. You probably got Gaara of the Desert mad. What's next... Are you going to try to trip Orochimaru or something?" I considered that for a moment. It could actually be quite hilarious if the snake sanin fell flat on his face. "Himeko! I was kidding. Don't you dare!"

I started laughing again. Ryo really shouldn't give me all these ideas. It was dangerous to do so. Yuuki then shouted something from the bathroom:  
"Himeko! If you do that... I'm gonna embarrass you even more in front of Gaara! So don't. And give me a set of clothes please..." I hate blackmail.

…

After all of us had taken a shower, the meal arrived. And the first thing we did was ogle at it. Sashimi, teriyaki, sushi, miso, udon and onsen tamago. At that moment, I absolutely forgot about all the dessert we had eaten today. All three of us shouted 'Itadakimasu' and dug into all that wonderful food.  
When we were completely stuffed, we went to bed.

It was at about two in the morning when I heard a scream. I jumped out of bed and ran to Yuuki.  
"Yuuki! What happened?"  
"Himeko! It... It wasn't _me_..." For a fraction of a second, we were both confused. Then reality dropped on us at the same time.  
"Ryo!"  
We both hurried to the door. My first guess was that Orochimaru was after Ryo's body. But that wasn't even possible, we have never met the snake before. Guess number two, Gaara wanted to kill me but went into the wrong room. I didn't have time for a third guess. I yanked the door open and Yuuki and I jumped through.

What I saw shocked me. Ryo had fallen off his bed in fear and was staring at a figure that standing in front of his open window. I squinted as my eyes got use to the darkness the gasped at who was standing there. Not Orochimaru, not Gaara.  
"Sasuke... What the _hell_ are you doing in Ryo's room at this time on the morning?"

Both my teammates' jaws dropped when they recognized the Uchiha. He stepped closer to us so that we could see him better. He had a serious look on his face. It was... _concerned_. OK, something is really fishy here. Sasuke stared right at me.  
"Himeko-chan... _Please_. I can explain. You have to trust me. Do not take part in the exam. It is to dangerous for you and your team. I do not want to see you hurt."

We stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. Then, we burst out laughing. So, this was what was going on.

"Sorry, Iruka-sensei. This isn't going to work on us either."

'Sasuke' looked shocked, then grinned. In a poof of smoke, he then turned to the academy teacher.  
"Well, well. Kakashi was right. You three are good with messing with the mind. And you saw through deception easily. You are going to be interesting candidates for this year's exam."  
I snorted. Seriously, who would actually fall for a nice Sasuke? Not even Sakura did.  
"Huh? _Kakashi_ asked you to sneak into my room at 2am to check if we were ready for the chunin exams? But aren't you only supposed to do that for the Konoha rookies?"  
Iruka looked surprised that we knew that. But, really, Ryo had a point. What was the silver haired jonin's problem?  
"Well, I'm not sure. It seems that when he met you three he found you... interesting. He said that you guys could easily mess with people's minds, find their weaknesses. And work your way around words to twist them into your own meaning. But, he said that he wanted to know how strong you guys were. And, mind wise, I am impressed."  
"What... the... hell. I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei, but not even an idiot wouldn't fall for that Transformation. We don't have to be amazing or anything."

God, ninjas can be either so complicated, or make things too easy. Iruka rubbed the back of his head, just like Naruto does when he thinks that he did something bad.  
"Hm... Yeah. I actually intended to go into Himeko-san's room, since she is apparently... closer to Sasuke. But, you guys are right. Sakura Haruno didn't fall for it either."  
"See! Even her!"  
"... I thought that the young Uchiha's image was convincing."

My friends and I started another round of laughter. A concerned Sasuke? Convincing? No way. Not the kid with the duck-butt hair. It was also strange that Kakashi was so interested in us, he made Iruka test us at 2am. Well, what he ended up doing was ruining any chances of us getting back to sleep because of the laughing.

Suddenly, we heard a hammering noise that made us jump.  
"Shut up in there! Some people are trying to sleep here!"  
I gulped. That was Kankuro's voice. We really have to be careful with what we do. And shout, since the walls aren't very thick.  
I placed a finger on my lips, telling everybody to keep quiet. Iruka mouthed 'Bye' and 'Good luck' before exiting from the window. I sweat dropped and ran up to where he disappeared, looked outside, looked down. Nope, he didn't die falling out.  
"Wow... How did he do that?" whispered Yuuki.  
"Wall climbing techniques. Cool huh? Makes you wish you were really a ninja." I whispered back.  
"What the hell... He just left? He nearly gave me a heart attack by appearing out of nowhere... And now... Who's next?" Poor Ryo, having people randomly enter your room in the middle of the night and scaring you half to death isn't very good for the soul. He was still shaking.

"I dunno about you Himeko-chan, but I'm going back to bed. See you Ryo. Hope no one else comes into your room." My cousin walked back to our room. I was going to follow her when Ryo grabbed my arm. His face was panic struck.  
"No. I'm not staying alone. Please. Not after what happened. Who knows who might be next... Maybe Orochimaru disguised as Neji... Or Dosu disguised as Ino or Kiba... Gaara and Baki... Anytime... Right next door... Or even worse... Jiraiya as himself... Oh no..." I looked at my terrified friend. I sighed. I mean, who can blame him for being traumatized if the Uchiha woke him up? After a pat on the shoulder, I brought him to the room I shared with Yuuki. If I used the extra covers and pillows, I could make a small bed or something. I don't think he cared much, because the second I closed the door behind us, he passed out and fell to the floor with thud. After a few seconds of deliberating, I decided to leave him there. I was way to tired to carry him anyway. I tossed a blanket over his unconscious form and went back to sleep, hoping that the toad-sanin wouldn't come into my room at this time in the morning. That thought haunted my mind until I fell asleep.

…

I was awoken by another scream. What now? This time, I jumped off the bed, grabbed a kunai and ran straight for Ryo's room. Only to trip on his legs and crash to the floor. My eyes quickly darted around the room, searching for the intruder. The only people that were here were Ryo and I on the floor, and Yuuki standing up on her bed, screaming.  
"Yuuki! What is it? Who? What?"  
My friend stopped yelling, then started laughing her butt off.  
"Man, you two should see your faces. And that was payback, Ryo. For waking Himeko-chan and I up at 2am by screeching like a girl." Ryo and I looked at each other, before groaning, getting up off the floor and glaring at the blond idiot that was our teammate.  
This was going to be a long, long week.

This ritual went on for the next six days.  
Everyday, Yuuki woke us up with her 'wake up call'. We would chase her around the room for ten minutes, then all fall back asleep, only to get awoken again by Kankuro, Baki, Temari, the hotel manager of some other random person, yelling at us to shut up.  
Then, we would leave for breakfast. Well, actually, we would sneak to breakfast. My friends are absolutely certain that Gaara wants to kill us (me), so they try to avoid being in the corridors... much to my disappointment. At least nobody sneaked into our rooms at night since the Iruka incident.

For the rest of the day, we would hang out and train with Team Gai, Team Kurenai or Team Seven. I tried to stay out of a hundred meter range of Team Asuma because of Ino still trying to assassinate me for 'ruining' her image of her 'precious Sasuke-kun', as she put it.  
We also spent one of the days hanging out with Temari and Kankuro (Gaara never 'hung out' with his siblings). When they complained that their neighbors were extremely noisy, Ryo, Yuuki and I would look at each other sheepishly.

…

On the day before the exams, my... obsession took over.  
I escaped from my team's clutches when they were to busy stuffing themselves with ramen and went on a long and painful search. That took about twenty minutes.  
Then, I found Gaara. I hid behind a huge tree and spied on him. He was training. Actually, he was smashing all the boulders in the clearing with sand. His face was emotionless and he destroyed the rocks as if he did this on a regular basis. Which he sort of did. This time I held in the fangirl scream. Instead, my lucky stars made me sneeze really loud.

The ninja stiffened. He spun around and when he spotted me, he looked shocked for a fraction of a second before regaining his composure.  
"What do you want?" he said coldly.  
"I believe what you are trying to say is 'bless you'?" I grin at him and skip over to where he is standing. He stares at every step my feet take to get closer to him. When I am at arm's distance, I conclude that he wasn't going to kill me for taping a sign to his back, or he would already have tried.  
"Hi... Again." I smile nicely at him. He glares at me. I think that must be his way of saying hello. I walk over to one of the boulders that weren't disintegrated and sit on it.  
"Can I watch you grind rocks to dust?" He continues glaring at me, but he goes back to his training. I think that means yes.

I spent the next few hours with Gaara. He is amazing. And actually not that evil when you don't try to kill him. We hardly talked, since Gaara isn't the type to 'bond' much... yet. Plus, I didn't mind staring at him with admiring eyes for hours. I think that it was sort of freaking him out. The staring. I chuckled. He turned to glare at me.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Why are you here?" I tap my chin and pretend to be really concentrated.  
"Well... I like seeing you turn rocks to dust. It's cool. You're cool. I like being with you." I smile at his surprised expression. "Gaara-kun... Not everybody in this world wants you dead you know. I'm sure Temari and Kankuro love you, but just don't show it. Because you don't show it."  
His look turns pissed.  
"They hate me. I _don't_ love them. They are not important to me. No one is."

I sigh and smile sadly at him.  
"Keep telling yourself that. Then, one day, you might realize how wrong you were." He stares blankly at me for a minute.  
"Himeko...-chan. Do _you_ want me dead?" My initial happiness from being called Himeko_-chan _is squished by horror. I get off my boulder, march up to him, and, since we are alone, I shout what I have to say straight into his face.  
"HELL NO! Gaara-kun... Seriously? How _could_ you even _think_ something like that? If you died... I... and about a thousand other people you don't even know called fangirls and worshipers... would be crying ourselves to sleep every night for the next seventy-three years! So... No. I do _not_ want you dead..."  
His eyes widen in shock. I am so mad that he could even think that... He has issues with confidence.  
I suddenly realize how close to him I am. I could feel the heat radiating of him. To hide the fact that I was starting to blush, I walk back to my makeshift seat and sat myself onto it with a huff. His expression changes to confused, then he continues his training, looking deep in thought.

When he finished crushing every boulder in the clearing, the silence turned awkward. I just sat there, still staring, but there was no sound of rocks getting smashed. I started debating with myself if I should try to start another conversation, though hopefully, this time, it won't end with me yelling at him. I am still in shock that he could think that I, of all people, wanted him dead. I saw Gaara shift uncomfortably. He then snapped his head up as if his mental light bulb just lit up. He then started pulverizing trees. If he wanted to destroy every single one of them, it would probably take him about... three weeks.  
I looked at him curiously, but he just glared at whatever tree he was throwing his sand at. I had a feeling that he just didn't want to be alone.

…

The next day was the day. The written portion of the chunin exams. And, of course, first thing in the morning, Yuuki asked me an intelligent question.  
"So... Did you kiss him?" I choked on whatever I was eating for breakfast (it was a piece of pork from my soup). I glared at my friend.  
"No! Of course not! If I did, I don't know if I would be standing here alive!"  
"Do you want to?"  
"Duh. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to keep myself from..."  
Our 'conversation' was interrupted by Ryo coming into the room holding a whole lot of sharp looking things.

"Take a look at these." He handed me my katana and Yuuki her fan. He was holding his gigantic shuriken.  
"Um... Thanks?" He sighed.  
"Look _closer_." I did. I scrutinized my own sword. The handle covered in designs, the sharp blade. That was covered in loads of little Japanese characters that weren't there before. Yuuki's fan's wooden frame had the same symbols and Ryo's shuriken was covered in them too. I gently caressed the blade of my sword, sending energy into the seals. And it exploded with sharp spikes. I shrieked and dropped it. I stared at it. It reminded me of a porcupine. Ryo was chuckling.

"I made a few upgrades on our weapons. They are more... dangerous now." I could see why. If I stabbed someone with this katana... Things would get really ugly. I carefully picked up the sword and sealed the spikes back into the once smooth, shiny surface. Yuuki had watched all of this, mesmerized. She flipped her fan open and unlocked the seals. She gasped when blades sprung out of each tip of the fan. I groaned. Yuuki nearly killed a dozen people with her original weapon. Now she had a make-shift twelve bladed knife.  
"Ryo-kun... What does your's do?" He grinned and showed us the shuriken. The four blades grew longer. When they were each about a meter long, he unfolded the weapon halfway so that there were two blades on each side of his hand. It was now a huge two sided sword. Yuuki agreed.  
"It looks like Darth Maul's double sided light saber. Without the shiny red super laser." We all snorted at her image.  
"Ryo, how did you make these?" He rubbed the back of his head nervously.  
"Well... I took time designing them. Then, I got Temari to help me with the seals. I had to adapt a few of them to our lack of chakra." I nodded. He always had a thing for sharp, dangerous weapons. I clipped my scroll pouch onto my belt and slid my katana onto the holder on my back, like the Anbu Black Ops did.  
"Are you guys ready?"  
Everybody around me grinned and punched the air.  
"Let's go!"

When exiting the hotel, we were joined by most of the Sand Team.  
"Good morning Temari-san! Kankuro-kun! Where's your brother?"  
"Huh... No idea. Haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon. I'm sure he is somewhere around here being all emo..."  
"Shut up." Kankuro shrieked like a little girl and jumped into the air when the red headed jinchuuriki appeared right beside him. Everybody else - excluding Gaara, duh – laughed at his expression.  
I think that the demon container was in a good mood or something because he didn't even threaten to kill Kankuro after he had made fun of him. Sometimes, I even wonder how he survived all these years.  
"Himeko-chan... I didn't know you guys were staying at the same hotel as us..." Temari observed our reaction. Which was laughing, again.  
"Uh... Actually, we live just next door to your rooms." Ryo grinned at the dumbfounded ninja. We were all remembering the door hammering in the middle of the night. The puppet-nin snorted.  
"Well... _That _explains a _lot_."

When we arrived at the examination center, people parted like the Red Sea when they saw us. Well, Gaara.  
Since none of us are dumb, we walked right past the genjutsu covered door. I didn't recognize anyone in the corridors, though most people stared at us with a hey-everybody-look-they-are-the-foreigners-that-messed-up-our-village-for-the-past-week look. Sort of.  
Then, we see the double doors that lead to the examination room. Yuuki is bubbling in excitement. Ryo is smiling in anticipation. I'm doing both. We walk right past Kakashi who is so absorbed in his book that he doesn't even lift his head to greet us, even when he was apparently so interested in us. He's probably still waiting for his Team to arrive. That means that we are a little early.

I held my breath as Kankuro opened the doors. I walked through and observed the scene in front of me.  
My jaw popped open at the same time as my friends'. Holy Janshin. I've never seen so many ninja in my life. Every table was packed with people. And there were a whole lot of tables.

...

**I finally got this chapter out! It feels nice... Hope you liked it.**  
**A big thank you to my beta: martinlitre AKA Ryo Murakami!**  
**And, thank you to all who ever reviewed this story! And these wonderful people are: ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, leogirl321, Suezanne, forever-sweet, piixmiin, dreamingofmagic and kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102. And, hopefully, I would be able to add your *points to screen* name on this list! All you need to do is press that little button that says 'Review'!**  
**Stay tuned! ~~~ XOXO HimekoUchia**


	9. Unexpected Reactions and Ninja Violence

**Chapter Nine! ****A pretty fast update****! Are you happy? 'Cause I know I am! The Naruto World belongs to me... Yeah... No. If it did, Gaara would be mine, Naruto would wear nicer clothes, Sasuke's hair would be straight and Sakura's would be green. In short, I don't own Naruto ****or any ninja mentioned****. I do own my OCs ****and cool powers ****though.  
Enjoy another chapter full of ****amazing****... uh... hm... Just enjoy it.**

…

_Last Chapter:  
We walk right past Kakashi who is so absorbed in his book that he doesn't even lift his head to greet us, even when he was apparently so interested in us. He's probably still waiting for his Team to arrive. That means that we are a little early._

_I held my breath as Kankuro opened the doors. I walked through and observed the scene in front of me.  
My jaw popped open at the same time as my friends'. Holy Janshin. I've never seen so many ninja in my life. Every table was packed with people. And there were a whole lot of tables._

…

"There are, like... A trillion people here..." whispered Yuuki.  
"Dumbass. Stop exaggerating. About a million." replied Ryo.  
"...HOLY SHIT DUCK!" I screamed and pulled my team to the floor to avoid the twenty kunai that flew our way and planted themselves into the closed doors where we stood one second ago. Oh my god. Oh my friggin' god. Someone tried to kill us. A ninja actually tried to kill us. I nearly freaked out.

"Shoot. I missed." I shakily stood up and glared at Zaku.  
"Hey! What are you, five? You can't just throw things at people when they aren't ready to catch! Someone could have gotten stabbed here!" The look on his face told me that that was exactly what he had planned to do. I saw Yuuki gulp. And I saw Ryo punch Zaku in the face. Wait, what?  
All of the Sound Team were shocked still. Especially Zaku. I guess that they never saw our specialty move before. It's called immediate-area-teleporting-and-punching-someone-in-the-face taijutsu move. Actually, half the room of elite, killer shinobi were staring open mouthed at us. I'm not sure that that was a good thing.

I teleported right in front of the Sound Team and grabbed Ryo before he could lunge at Zaku again.  
"Ryo! Stop! His face is already messed up! Don't need to make it worse! This poor guy might stay single his whole entire life now!"  
"That bastard! He nearly turned us into Swiss cheese! I wanna junk punch him!" I dragged him away towards an empty table next to the Sand Team's.  
"Another day Ryo. Right now, we've gotta survive first. Oh, wait." I grabbed a scroll from my belt, summoned an ice pack and threw it to the Sound ninja. Kin caught it. "It's for Abumi-san's face. He's gonna need it..." Ryo tried to escape my clutches, but gave up and sat down on an empty chair. Yuuki sat down next to him. I just sat on the table.

"Wow... That was impressive. I didn't even see them move." I heard Temari whisper. I leaned across the empty spot between our table, noticing that Gaara was staring at me. So was Kankuro. I straightened up nervously.  
"That is because we didn't." The kunoichi stared confused at me.  
"What do you mean?" I shrugged.  
"Teleportation. Like the one Gaara uses, but we just don't need sand. Yuuki-chan and Ryo-kun can teleport into an immediate area." She nodded, but seemed deep in thought.

I was going to think about Gaara's awesomeness but my train of thoughts were interrupted when a kunai planted itself onto my table. I turned to glare at the Sound Team. They shrugged and shook their heads.  
"Over here Himeko!" I turned. And came face to face with...  
"Oh. Hiya Ino-san. Long time no see. Did you get over the mental images yet?" For one moment, her face fell. No. No she didn't. I felt like laughing.  
"I... my Sasuke-kun... And that baka Naruto... Why... Why did you do this to me Himeko-san?" she whined. I sighed.  
"Geez. OK, tell you what. I'm gonna make you those clothes I promised after the exam OK?" Her face lit up.  
"YAY! I love you again!" and she hugged me. Man. She is weird. I turned to Temari.  
"Temari-san! You have to come too! I'm gonna make you nice a dress!"  
"Uh... OK."

"Wha... Wha...Who... WHAT THE HELL?"  
"Oh. Hey Shikamaru-kun." He ignored me. His eyes were glued to Temari. I was confused. Yuuki tapped me on the shoulder.  
"The Photoshop picture of him making out with Temari remember?" Oh, right. I grinned, stood up and held the genius genin's arm.  
"Shikamaru-kun, this is Temari of Suna. But you already know that. And they are Gaara and Kankuro, her two little brothers. Temari-san, this is Nara Shikamrau. He is like, really, really smart. But I sort of messed up his mind when I first met him. So he is a little..." The kunoichi, Kankuro, Gaara and I all looked at him. He was staring intensely at Temari's face like a mad man. She shivered.

"What's his problem? What did you do to this idiot?" I snickered and pulled my trusty laptop out of my pocket. Gaara gave me a weird look, remembering the Best of! episode that ended with my embarrassing ring tone. Not the right time to remember that.  
I looked through my desktop pictures, grinned and showed them the image that caused Shikamaru's mental breakdown. He ogled when he saw it again. The Sand Team's reaction was different.  
Temari's eyes widened in shock, before she rolled them and said 'Fake'. Kankuro and Gaara were a little slower minded than their sister.  
"Who the heck are you? How dare you even kiss my sis?" Both boys stood up and threw a punch at Shikamaru. Their fists came in contact with an invisible wall, courtesy of Yuuki. That is one of our defensive jutsus. Mind activated shields. Pretty useful, but we only use them during a life and death situation to not attract too much attention. And this was a life and death situation for the Konoha genin. Then I realized something.

"Gaara-kun? Did you just... try.. to punch... Shikamaru-kun... for apparently... making out with your sister?" Everybody (from Suna that was in hearing distance and that knew of Gaara's reputation) turned to stare open mouthed at the red head. He had just... _protected_ Temari. What was wrong with him? Where did the murderous psychopath attitude go? Gaara looked extremely uncomfortable sitting there, under a whole lot of looks, but didn't even glare at me for drawing attention to him. Yeah, something's definitely not right.  
"OK, seriously. You're creeping me out. What's wrong? Gaara-kun?" The jinchuuriki lifted his head and stared blankly at me.  
"I creep you out _now_? What about the times that I actually _try_ to creep you out?" I grinned at him.  
"Nope. I know that I only have to worry when you _aren't_ trying to creep people out. I guess that it's your natural way of acting. So, what's wrong?"

Temari's jaw was hitting the floor whilst listening to our exchange. She was probably thinking 'Is my psycho brother actually having a conversation with a psychic girl after trying to punch a weird, attractive guy to protect me? And why did Kankuro try to protect me? I thought he wasn't capable of anything apart playing with dolls, wearing girly makeup and making burnt toast'. Of course, that was only my guess. I dunno if they even have toasters here.

"Nothing." Gaara sent everybody a death glare, making everybody apart Yuuki, Ryo and I shiver. I just sighed in relief.  
"Phew. You're alright." Everybody from four to five tables around us gave me a weird look. I smiled and waved at them.  
"Okaaaaaay... No, but seriously. What was that about?" said an annoyed Kankuro. I show him the picture again, chuckling when he made a pre-throw-up face.  
"This, my good friend, is DeviantArt. That means that most pictures are fake. So please do not try to punch poor Shikamaru-kun in the face again, as you see, he is still really in shock from the first time I showed this to him! Don't mess him up any further."  
"Oh. Fine." I then heard munching behind me. I put my laptop onto the table and introduced the rest of Team Asuma.  
"Everybody, this is Akimichi Choji. And the bit- bl... blonde haired girl is Yamanaka Ino." Ino looked finally happy to get some acknowledgment. She flipped her hair, crossed her arms and said in a annoying voice:  
"I'm the prettiest girl in all of Konoha. That is why Sasuke-kun will love _me_ and not that ugly Sakura!"

She fluttered her eyelashes at Kankuro, who made another pre-vomit face... and Gaara. I felt like punching her in the face. I saw some sand floating around Ino's ankles. Should I save her? Or let her walk on her hands for the rest of her life? Yuuki saved her.  
"Ino-chan. I love you and stuff but... Seriously. Shut up. Or Gaara's gonna kill you, if your lucky. If you're unlucky, Himeko-chan is gonna kill you instead. And she will do it much,_ much_ more painfully." The kunoichi stared horrified at me, then to Gaara, then back at me. She then smirked evilly at me.  
"Oops. Sorry. I get it now. If someone even _looked_ at _my_ precious Sasuke-kun..." I groaned and leaned over towards Gaara.  
"You can kill her anytime. Nobody is gonna judge. Just save some of her pain for me to enjoy..."

"Himeko-chan!" I swung my head around and gasped when I saw my bun-haired ninja friend.  
"Tenten! Neji!" I hugged her and Neji, who just shifted uneasily.  
"Hello Himeko-san. Hello Yuuki-san, Ryo-san." I chuckled. Neji always sounds so... formalish. I hope having Tenten as a _girlfriend _will loosen him up a bit. I saw a swoop of yellow and Neji fell on the floor.  
"Neji-kun! How is life with Tenten?" screamed a fangirlish Yuuki. I saw Tenten crack her knuckles. I then proceeded to pull my cousin off the poor Hyuga.  
"Say... Where's Lee?"  
"He said that he had something to do. Then he followed Uchiha Sasuke, the fire cracker headed idiot and that pink haired weirdo." snapped a pissed off Tenten, who was still eying Yuuki murderously. Note to self, Tenten doesn't like Team Seven and people who try to glomp her boyfriend.  
And if Lee just went off to fight with Sasuke, it probably means that we've got about ten minutes before they arrive.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Ino edge away from the table where we were all grouped around, pulling a still blankly-staring-at-a-certain-kunoichi and confused-as-to-where-he-was Shikamaru and Choji, who had already opened his fourth packet of chips, behind her. Her brain must have finally kicked in and she must have realized that Gaara and I weren't kidding about killing her. Of course, it was only a joke... Really.

Tenten was holding Neji's hand and laughing with Yuuki. Woah, what happened in that one second that I was distracted by Ino? I saw Gaara stare at the teens' clasped hand. Oh, no. I forgot, he's an over-emotional, love-hating guy. He's probably gonna break down and go after somebody's blood or something...

"Why do you two hold hands?" ...or he could act innocently curious like that. Tenten grinned at him (making his eyes widen in shock) and replied:  
"'Cause we are dating and I love him! And also because _someone_ might try to steal him from me." She pointed at Yuuki, who just giggled. I eyed Gaara, wondering how he would react to their love. I expected him to grab his head and groan, but he just glared at the table. Man, he's hard to figure out sometimes. I was going to ask Ryo to keep Yuuki at bay when I realized that he wasn't sitting next to me anymore.

"Ryo-kun? Ryo! Where are you dammit? Where did you..." I caught sight of him edging towards the Sound Team's table again, complete with the taser that he had insisted was useful to include in his scroll. I sighed and dragged him back to his seat by his foot, apologizing to anyone he ran over.  
"Why? Himeko-chan, why won't you let me zap him? His arms are filled with _metal _tubes, so it would be so cool to see..."  
"_No_. You _cannot_ taser _anybody_ except in emergencies that include, but are not limited to, murder, rape or old pedophiles staring freakishly at you, got it?" He glared at me but sealed his taser back into the safety of his scroll.

When we reached our table, I was tackled.  
"Youthful Himeko-chaaaaaaaan! Guess what! I beat Sasuke Uchiha! I proved that hard work beats natural talent! Now, Sakura-san will love me!" laughed an ecstatic Rock Lee. I groaned in pain, cursing in my mind. I really need to use that shield sometimes, or I might have my entire body shattered next time Lee hugs me. If it isn't already.  
"Lee... You're super strong, so please refrain from tackle-pouncing me like that please." The green ninja smiled apologetically and helped me walk back to our table. I noticed that there were three more people there.

"HINATA-CHAN!" I glomped the little kunoichi, who blushed like mad. I then glomped Kiba, who grinned like an idiot, Akamaru, who barked and licked my cheek and Shino. When I let go of the bug-nin I patted him on the shoulder. I nearly shrieked. Shino had turned into a statue! I panicked and started shaking his frozen form until color returned to his cheeks and he was human again.  
"Shino! What happened? Did you get a heart attack?" the boy just stared off into space behind his sunglasses. I waved my hand in front of his face. No response. Kiba bent his head to whisper to me.  
"Shino never gets hugs from teenage girls. They find him creepy. This is the first time. That's why he was so... shocked." I nodded slowly. Shino not getting hugs because girls thought that he was scary? That's sad. I hugged the bug-nin again, glad that he remained flesh and blood and didn't turn to rock. I would hug Gaara as well, but that guy was highly unpredictable.  
I let Ryo introduce our friends this time.  
"Hyuga Hinata-chan, Inuzuka Kiba, Akamaru, Aburame Shino, Rock Lee. And this is Kankuro, Temari and Gaara. Remember all those names? No? Too bad." I winced. He was obviously still pissed at me for not letting him taser Zaku. Man, he can be childish sometimes.

The Sand Sibs were surprised to say the least. They obviously weren't very used to being surrounded by chatting people, who smiled, laughed and weren't cringing in fear. Temari glanced across the room at Shikamaru, who was still staring intensly at her. Kankuro was carving stuff onto his desk. Gaara apparently found his shoes fascinating.  
"You guys OK?" They all nodded and smiled - minus Gaara for the smile, he just stared - I was excited. Only Team Seven was missing, then I could unleash my master plan and do a few things that I so wanted to do. I was burning with anticipation.

After four minutes of extremely _patient_ waiting (pulling Neji's hair, petting Akamaru, poking Shino, Kiba, Kankuro and Ryo but stopping at Rock Lee, because he was ready to crush my bones in a hug again), the double doors swung open, and in walked Mr. Sunny, Ms. Pink and Ice-Prince-with-hair-defying-gravity.

And then the story continues. Ino glomps Sasuke, then gets in a fight with Sakura. Then, all the rookies join them and face off. I let them alone for a while, waiting for someone to appear. In a minute, he does.

The person who gives me nightmares. The guy that I loath above everyone else, including pedophiles (Orochimaru). The most annoying, traitorous man alive. The silver haired dude that makes me want to vomit, throw rotten tomatoes at him and shove his f-ing nin info cards up his ass. Two words.

Kabuto Yakushi.

I wait for a few more, long, painful minutes. Then turn back to look my friends, Team Gai and the Sand Team. I looked at Gaara in particular.  
"Now, kids. No not try this at home. Or do. Whatever." I slip off the table, leaving Yuuki to guard my laptop, and walk over to the genins.  
"HIMEKO-CHAN! Konnichiwa!"  
"Oh, hey Himeko-chan!"  
"Hn. Himeko-san." I smiled in greeting at the three newly arrived and turn to look at Kabuto. He already has his stinking cards out. He looks at me in surprise. Didn't expect me here, did he?

"Say, Kabuto... What do your cards say about me?" He looks uncomfortable, but smiles his fake smile at me.  
"Hmm... I don't have your data."  
"Now. That's strange. I thought you had info on _everybody_ here." He shrugs uncomfortably.  
"Well, I could always make one." I smiled at him. He just makes me so mad. Kabuto grabs an empty card and looks at me hopefully.  
"OK. My name is Tanaka Himeko. I'm 13. Technically, I've never even been to the ninja academy and have never went on any mission in my life. I'm from the Land of Peace & Love, but I'm gonna forget that for five minutes. And I _hate_ traitors named after Pokemon. Like you." He gawks open mouthed at me. So is about everyone in hearing range. I don't think they've ever seen me pissed. Well, they are going to be entertained. I walk right up to Kabuto and plaster huge smile on my face.

Then I kick him in the nuts. Hard. And he didn't have time to evade that attack.  
"That's for betraying the Sound Village!" he doubles over in pain. I punch him in the face.  
"And that's for betraying the Akatsuki!" I'm not done yet.  
"And even though you didn't betray these guys yet, I just won't be there when you do." I kick him in the shin. "This is for betraying Orochimaru and Sasori! Traitors suck! Go die painfully in Hell will ya! You'd bettter hope that I don't join you, because then Hell would be much, much worse!"  
That, people, was my vicious, aggressive, bitchy side.

Silence falls as everyone in the room stared at me and Kabuto, who is on the floor, moaning in pain. Maybe I kicked a _little_ to hard. But, man, that felt good. I loath traitors, especially if they are bad guys that betray bad guys.  
I look at the pile of nin info cards stacked carefully on the floor. I think of a name and I tapped it. I lift the card on top and send energy into the blank paper. And it actually works. Hm, looks like our energy and chakra might be similar enough that these cards can't tell the difference. I take the card he was using for me, erase it and copy the one I'm holding onto it. Don't ask me how I did it. I put Kabuto's one carefully back onto the pile and stick my copy of Gaara's card into my shirt. A picture of Gaara in 360 degrees. How cool is that?

I turn towards all the horrified rookies.  
"I'm terribly sorry you had to see that. Please, don't grow up to become traitors." I glare at Sasuke. "Because if you do... I'm going to teleport into your room on a dark, cold, stormy night. And I'm gonna slug you in the gut until you cry like a sad, tortured little girl." They all nod quickly. I motion for all of the ninja to follow me to my table, leaving Kabuto's teammates to care for his sorry ass. They don't even try to touch me or make me pay, because we all know that they don't really give a damn about the Pokemon guy. Or they could fear for there lives and manliness. But, really, I'm not hurting anyone else.

When I get back to the flabbergast Sand Team, I'm surprised by their reaction. Temari laughs and congratulates me. Kankuro pats me on the back and I see a ghost of a smirk on Gaara's lips, before he plasters his emotionless look back onto his face. I love the sadistic sand trio.  
Yuuki and Ryo grin and high five me.  
"Lucky. I get to kick him next time." whined my cousin. I laugh and place my laptop on my knees. I look at all of the genins. When I know that they are all paying attention, I put my master plan into action.

"OK. I want you guys to know that where we come from... You guys have fans! Like people who adore you! Every single one of ya! That includes you Gaara. Boys and girl fans. They all love you for one reason or another, knowing your pasts, dark or light. Tell me when that registers."  
I have to repeat this a few more times before they even understand. Neji, Gaara, Sasuke and all those lonely people take a long time to convince. But I can't blame them. If you spent your whole childhood wanting revenge or hating the world, it's hard to accept that you have fans. But not Naruto, Kiba, Kankuro, Lee, Ino and Sakura. They are loving the idea.

"I'm sure I have way more boy fans that you forehead!"  
"No, uh. I'm much more loved that you Ino-pig!"

I grin at them. If they like the idea, then they are going to love, or hate, this. I open a word document and stare evilly at them.  
"Listen up. Because I'm gonna tell you who these fans think is the hottest here! And, _why _they love all of you."  
Now, _that_ caught their attention alright.

**…**

**Again, I do not own Photoshop and DeviantArt. And I apologize to all Kabuto fans, but I just really, really hate traitors. I hate Sasuke in Shippuden. And I hate Madara. Sorry again to all their fans. And I apologize for my attitude... Not really XD.  
Nah, but really. Are you excited? I'm gonna tell all these ninjas exactly what I think of them.**

**!AND IF ANY OF YOU AWESOME READERS! want me to tell them something for you, feel free to do so! Leave a review! I will do my best to write it in (if you actually review before the next chapter is writen, I'm not a time traveler)! OH and another thing... I'm leaving on holiday tomorow, so may or may not have time to write as much. Or have much internet access. But I will do my best to keep writing and updating for you guys!**

**I hope you enjoyed! I love reviewers and, hopefully, that will mean you *points at screen* too. Please tell me what you thought about it! Those who had ever reviewed my story: pink-pajamas12, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, leogirl321, Suezanne, dreamingofmagic, forever-sweet, Drakloverxpsycho and piixmiin. You guys rock!_  
_~~~ XOXO HimekoUchia**


	10. This Is Why I'm Hot!

**Chapter 10! I don't own the name of the title. I do not own Naruto, or any of the ninja, exams, places or ninjutsu mentioned here. I only own my three characters, their power and my laptop. So if anyone claims those, I get to sue them... Woah, that sounded mean. I'm really random. I like cookies. But I like Gaara even more. So... Gaara **_**with**_** cookies would be simply awesome... Now, that just sounded creepy.  
Since the computer I'm using doesn't have any compatible word processors, I uploaded a few lines of it from a Note processor and wrote the entire chapter directly into the document manager. It was weird at first, but I got used to it. And... yay! I'm not taking a whole lot of time to update anymore!  
Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**...**

_Last Chapter:_

_"Listen up. Because I'm gonna tell you who these fans think is the hottest here! And, why they love all of you."_ _  
Now, that caught their attention alright._

…

"I'm the hottest!" shrieked both Sakura and Ino. I groaned and covered my ears.  
"Please. I'm only a meter away from you! We can all hear your screaming just fine!"  
They both stared sheepishly around them and apologized to those who gave them death glares.  
After a few moments of relishing their discomfort, I coughed to get their attention.

"I'm not going to rank all of you, because that won't be fair for those who don't win. So I will tell you all the awesome things about you in no order, but the last five people I mention will be from fifth to first. And for the girls it will be from third to first, since there are less of you. OK let's start with the girls! Ladies first!"

Kankuro and Kiba huffed at that, but then where all ears.  
Hinata shuffled nervously, Tenten and Temari were determined and Sakura and Ino… were obviously glaring each other down. Yuuki and Ryo looked over my shoulder and at my laptop, and both laughed. I put my finger to my lips. They couldn't spill this big secret now. It would ruin everything!  
And that secret was that the word document was totally and completely blank. But the genins didn't have to know that.

"OK then. Sakura-chan, the fans love you because you are beautiful, strong and when you aren't being a bitch to Naruto and drooling over Sasuke, you make one talented kunoichi."

The pink haired girl looked disappointed for not being first. Then she grinned.  
"They think I'm beautiful and talented! Ha! In your face Ino-pig!"  
I wasn't surprised that she ignored the part about 'being a bitch'. This was our good-old, narcissistic Sakura. Ino was about to bash her in the head. So I motioned to Yuuki to do the honors for me. And she gladly did.

"Ino-chan! You are super pretty and are totally unique! But, when you are all 'Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!' you lose the bit of dignity that you have. Do you know the term 'unrequited love'? It suits him. Or else, you are talented as well."

And she reacted the same way as Sakura. She completely ignored the comments about Sasuke and boasted about the positive things that we said. I held back the need to yell at her. Even Yuuki seemed totally frustrated. I sighed and moved on.

"Third on the female hot-list is Tenten! You are a true feminist and can seriously kick ass! Your moves are so incredible and your strength and techniques are just… wow. Not to mention you are absolutely gorgeous and kind!"

"Really? Thanks! And I am a feminist! I want to become a better kunoichi that the legendary sanin, Lady Tsunade!"  
I could practically see stars shining in her eyes. Neji smiled at Tenten's enthusiasm. That was so sweet. Those two were truly fated.

"Second is Hinata-chan! You are just so cute and adorable. It's impossible to dislike you and so easy to adore you! Even your clothes make you look cute! Especially that jacket! Suits you well. I know that under your nice, shy façade is a powerful, determined and strong-willed girl! And the guy fans absolutely adore you. Ask Ryo."

The little Hyuga looked at a smiling Ryo and blushed three shades of red darker that Gaara's hair. That I just I realized that I was staring at. I shook my head and tried to focus.

"First place and the hottest kunoichi here is Temari-san! If you just take one look at her, you would see why. She's so hot and gorgeous. She's intelligent, peaceful, tough but caring, powerful but loving. She will protect her loved ones while crushing her enemies under her bad-ass fan. Boy and girl fans adore you! And I'm one of them!"

Everybody turned to stare at the kunoichi (except Shikamaru, who was already ogling at her in the first place). Kankuro grinned and patted his sister's shoulder.  
"Congrats Temari! But you boys had better stay away from my sis OK? I don't care how hot she is... no one is touching her. Especially not you." he pointed to Shikamaru. I saw Gaara roll his eyes when he thought no one was looking. But I was always looking anyway.  
I turned back to Temari and gasped.

This was something that I had never expected to see in my entire life.  
Temari was blushing.

It wasn't a full on, red face, near faint Hinata blush. Her cheeks were just a little rosy. But I had never seen her like this before. With her grin, she looked so cute.  
All the girls here are so pretty. And most of the boys aren't so bad either.

"Hey! Hey! Himeko-chan! Can you do the guys now? Am I hot? I remembered that you said that I was hot! Right? Right?" I chuckled at Naruto. He was so... innocently dumb. But he was right.

"Yep. It's the guys' turn now! Now... Who should I start with..." I looked around our group. Most people were now staring expectantly at me. Except for one certain genin that was still ogling Temari. Up next.

"OK. So what do the fans say about Shikamaru-kun... The girls think that you are a handsome genius. Apparently, your laziness is part of your charm. You are kind hearted and have a natural leading instinct. They all hope that you will find a beautiful, smart kunoichi to end up with."

"A... what...A ... a kunoichi? Urg, that's too troublesome." I blinked. I blinked again. I wasn't dreaming. I grinned and glomped the genin.  
"Welcome back to the real world of being alive Shikamaru-kun! And remember... a hot, intelligent kunoichi... Now where have I heard that before?" The genin just shrugged, but I saw him glance at Temari for a fraction of a second. Bingo. Step one of ShikaTema plan: get Shika to like Tema... completed!

"Who's next?" asked Tenten. I looked around the circle. Who should I talk about now... Maybe the guy standing there... That apparently had never been hugged before.

"Shino-kun! Did you know that you have a lot of fan girls? And this is what they think of you!" I made a show of reading something _not_ written on my computer. "Shino, you are the hot, silent brooding type. And you are smokin'... the parts we can see anyway! Your jutsus are so cool and I'm pretty sure that your eyes are too." I grinned and hugged the bug-nin. He didn't freeze up this time. He patted my shoulder.

"Thank you." I smiled as so did he.  
"Hey. Just saying the truth!"

I stare around. Who's left? Let's see...

"Choji-san! Your turn!" To my surprise, the ninja flinched and shook his head.  
"No! I know what you are going to say! You are going to say that I don't have any girl fans because I'm too chubby..." My jaw popped open. I didn't know that anyone would react like this. Poor Choji.  
"Well, actually... I was going to say that girls adore you because you are so strong and brave. And that you are awesome, just the way you are." His eyes widened. Then his pained look turned cheerful.  
"Really? Oh, that's cool! Thanks!" I grinned nervously at the boy. He just switched personalities just like that. I thought only I could do that. I felt someone tap on my shoulder. It was Yuuki.

"Himeko-chan? Can I say the next one?"  
"Be my guest." My cousin skipped over to Rock Lee.

"Oh my god... Lee... You are, like, the physically strongest ninja in the entire room. And girls love 'em fit guys! Your fans adore you because you are loyal, spirited and never give up... no matter much you really should, in some cases. But that is what makes you amazing right? Your youth and your... uh... dynamic energy... fits... moments..." she tilted her head to the side and smiled and Lee.

The next thing I know, I was crushed up next to Ryo and Yuuki with very little oxygen.  
"YES! People appreciate my youth! And I'm physically strong and girls love me? Thank you! I will do my best to never let those fans down! If I do, I will do five thousand push-ups, three thousand sit-ups, four thousand squats followed by-..."  
"Hey. Lee, I trust that you will never, ever let anyone down. So, please, don't pre-punish yourself mentally OK? And please let me, Ryo and Yuuki go. Your hugs are a little to... to strong for us..." he gave us an apologetic look before letting us out of his bone crushing hug. Yuuki gasped dramatically for air and coughed her guts out. Ryo and I rolled my eyes. Drama queen.

"OK... Moving on." I walked back to the Sand Sibs' table. Gaara looked expectant, probably thinking that I was going to 'eliminate' him from the top five. Like hell I was.  
"Kankuro-kun. Your pervertedness is so hilarious. When you aren't trying to beat up innocent kids, you are really nice. In battle, you are brave and would do anything to protect what is dear to you. You know, your fans know what you look like without your kabuki paint. And that is one word. Hot. And not just because you live in a desert and wear black. I even know a girl who really likes you, but I can't tell you her name, because fans like to remain anonymous. I think." The puppet-nin grinned like the perverted guy he was.  
"A girl huh? I'd like to meet her."  
"Oh... I said a girl? I meant a _guy_." Kankuro's eyes widened in horror.  
"WHAT? BUT! BUT-"  
"Just kidding." I burst out laughing at his expression. I couldn't help saying what I had said. It was so hilarious.

Temari, Yuuki, Ryo, Kiba and Naruto all joined me in my laughing fit. Everyone else chuckled or, in Shino's case, hid his huge, goofy smile behind his jacket's collar (of course, it didn't slip past me).  
Except for Gaara. I knew what he was doing. His face was completely blank. In a fake way. As if he was trying really, really hard to not show any emotion. He couldn't stop the edges of his lips from curling upwards, though. Wow. That's the first real smile I've ever seen on his face. It was so... cute, in a Gaara way. I leaned towards him so that only people that were listening really hard could hear me.

"You should smile more often, Gaara-kun. It suits you." The jinchuuriki looked shocked. Then he glared defensively at me.  
"I was not smiling." Oh, great denial.  
"Yes you were. You can't hide that from me."  
"I wasn't.  
"You were."  
"You can't prove it."  
"I saw you.  
"That's not proof."  
"God, Gaara, it's just a smile. I'm not filing a law suit or anything. I'm just glad that you have a sense of humor."

"... Who has a sense of humor?" Gaara and I froze as Kankuro leaned over the table. He looked at the both of us, and when his eyes settled on Gaara, they bugged out in amazement. "Wait... Himeko-chan... Are you talking about _Gaara_?"  
"No! We were talking about... uh... you." Gaara and I said at the same time. The puppet-nin looked between us suspiciously, ignoring the glare that his little brother sent him. Then, he grinned.  
"Yeah... I guess I am pretty funny am I?" I giggled at that. I could swear that I saw Gaara smile again.  
"Yeah. You sure are." I glanced at the red head. His gaze met mine and he locked eyes with me (making my heart do a triple flip before diving into a pool of melting cookie dough ice-cream) and gave me a look that I could describe as... thankful. For what? For not telling his brother that he smiled? That was ridiculous. But I liked that little smile on his lips, so I didn't comment. It had nothing to do with the fact that my voice was stuck in the pit of my stomach with a billion butterflies.

"Himeko-chan! ... Himeko-chan!... Himeko! Snap OUT OF IT!" I yelped when Yuuki screamed into my ear. Trust her to ruin my Gaara moment.  
"What?"  
"What do you mean what? The fan comments! Now it's the top five right?" Everyone turned to stare intensely/impatiently at me. I sweat dropped and grabbed my laptop. I breathed in, put on my poker face and turned towards my audience.

"OK! Right here, I have the results! So in fifth place, on the guys' top-hot list is... Kiba-kun!" The dog-nin made a goofy smile and so did Akamaru.  
"Kiba-kun. You have so many fans because you are loyal, brave and have a attractive, wild side to you. You are super strong and super good looking. And having that adorable bundle of fluff with you makes you seem even more adorable. Congrats! The fans love you!" And his reaction was as anticipated.  
"OH YEAH! See that Akamaru? We've got fans! I am attractive and wild! And you are fluffy!" Akamaru wined when his master called him 'fluffy'. That was too kawaii. But, really, so was Kiba. Those two made one adorable duo.

"In fourth place on the hot list, is Naruto-kun! Your fans love you because..."  
"YEAAAAAAAH! I'm hot, believe it!" hollered the knuckle head. I chuckled at his hyper-ness.  
"... Your fans love you because you are brave, selfless, strong, determined, funny and absolutely adorable. Your knucklehead innocence is so sweet. But, you are a _hero_. You... are... _so _amazing... and _cool_, Naruto. Remember that! And, without the orange jumpsuit, you are very, _very_ hot"  
The ninja grinned like an idiot. He was simply shimmering of happiness. The jinchuurki probably never had someone say that they were 'very, very hot' before, let alone list his qualities. Suddenly, Naruto's face turned serious. Everybody tensed and looked at each other. I watched as the orange clad ninja slowly... unzipped his jacket and tied it around his wait, exposing his form hugging black shirt underneath. His years of physical ninja training were very visible, even for a twelve year old. I can say that this was the definition of hot. He smiled broadly at everyone's gaping mouthes. I sighed, this guy was definitely something. Then, my mental light bulb just lit up. I walked over to Naruto and removed his forehead protector, tied it around his neck and ruffled his hair down so that it framed his face perfectly. Now, he is the definition of hotter.

Sakura, Ino and Temari gawked at Naruto. Tenten and Yuuki smiled, impressed. Hinata... Hinata fainted into Kiba's arms. And Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, glanced at Naruto then at me. I mouthed 'what?'. He just shrugged and stared intensely at a spot on the floor. I have no idea why I included Sasuke in the list of 'girls' reactions' (though it might have something to do with my SasuNaru adoration), and why he kept glancing at me then staring at the floor. My first guess was that he didn't meet many people... girls... who outright said that they thought that Naruto was hot. Second guess, he was pissed because I called the orange clad ninja 'cool', which was normally his title. Third guess... I didn't have anything else. It could be a combination of the first two.

Ryo, who was previously helping Kiba wake up Hinata, poked me and pointed at the screen, reminding me that I still had three names to go.  
"Oh, right. Third place is Neji-kun!" Tenten smiled and hugged him possessively, then stuck her tongue out at anyone staring at her boyfriend. "Your fans love your compulsive need to use the words 'destiny', 'faith' and 'byakugan'. You are brave, strong and very talented! And your... uh... serious attitude adds to the whole hotness. I'm pretty sure that Tenten could add a lot more things to that list, since she knows you better than your fans. And your hair is... oh my god! It looks so soft!" Neji's lips tighten uncomfortably at my comment. But this expression turned to a little grin when Tenten ran her hands through his brown locks.  
"Oooh... It _is _soft. Heh. My boyfriend's hair is so much nicer than mine..." The Hyuga's shook his head, circled his arms around her waist and caressed the top of her head.  
"You _are_ beautiful Tenten. I... I like your hair. It's... cute." Everyone was staring wide, shiny eyed at the adorable couple. They were looking into each other's eyes. I mentally sighed. This was so adorable. I, of course, had to glance at Gaara to see his reaction, like the red headed ninja's obsessive fan I was. He was observing the couple, with his usual, cold eyes. But his crossed arms were more tense than before. Well... he _is _an emotional sociopath after all. But I'm surprised at how he's been acting lately. It was 'surprised' in a good way. I mentally smiled at that.  
Then, Tenten and Neji snapped out of their moments and blushed at the attention they were receiving. Tenten smiled nervously and swayed slightly from side to side. Neji starting to turn very red, which was more than uncommon for him. I tried to give them a hand.

"OK... We are at the top two now!" Just like that, everyone spun their heads around to give me full attention. I sweat dropped at the intensity of their looks. These ninjas... these teenagers... are really into this whole 'what people that like me say' thing. It made me sad to think about it. This world... had no time to make all of their people feel loved. I was glad that, somehow, I tried to make them feel special by highlighting their qualities in front of others, so that they could be given approving looks and admiring smiles. Well... I should continue.

"The runner up is... drum roll..." Yuuki repeatedly tapped the table. "...Sasuke Uchiha!"

"Yay! Sasuke-kun! Your the hottest!" screamed Ino and Sakura, who were both standing googley-eyed at the boy. Sasuke shrugged and pretended that this whole 'fan' thing was of no importance for him. But I saw the smug look that he sent Naruto. Life would always be a competition for those two.  
"Your fans adore you because you are powerful, brave, talented, cool and smoking hot. Your fans seem to think that your horrible, snobbish attitude is attractive and one of your many nicknames is Ice Prince, because of your looks and your personality. Yes, Sasuke Uchiha, you are incredible good looking and deserve your many fans. Even if your attitude is emo and annoying."  
I grinned when Sasuke glared murderously at me. He wasn't dumb or deaf. He did notice that more than half of the things that I said were insulting. Then, he straightened up, smirked and rolled his eyes.  
"Che. As if I needed any more... fans." he tilted his head from side, indicating his two fangirls. I laughed at that. He grinned. Wow, he has a sense of humor. And he _smiled_.  
"You know what Sasuke-kun? I think I'm liking you more by the minute." he responded by staring intensely at me. It was creeping me out.

Who knew that I would have to thank Sakura and Ino for saving me from the awkwardness.  
"Wait a second... If Sasuke-kun is the runner up... Then he is _second_. Who could possibly be hotter than Sasuke-kun? And there is only one guy left..."

All eyes fixed onto Gaara. He tensed slightly and nervously scanned the crowd that was staring at him. His eyes rested on me (making my heart flip, again) and they narrowed in confusion. Aw.  
"Yes. The winner of the hotness contest is non other than Gaara of the Desert." Everyone continued fixating him. The first person to break the silence was Kankuro.  
"So... why do the fans like him already?" I blushed and pretended to read something off my computer screen.

"Gaara-kun is amazing. He is really, really, _really_ hot. He is so strong and powerful. And when he doesn't hate you, you cannot imagine how... how _kind_ and _sweet _he is. But, really, all of his fans absolutely adore him just the way he is now. Silent, calm, dark. Did you ever see him smile? Because he is adorable. But his psycho attitude is so... so..." I gulped nervously. Gaara was staring at me, waiting. With his eyes on me like that, no sound wanted to come out of my mouth. I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
"I believe that the word that you are looking for is totally and utterly... sexy. Gaara had so much... appeal." We all gawked at Yuuki. She grinned and winked at me. "Hey, just because I _don't_ like like him doesn't mean that I'm blind. He is an incredibly hot red head. I can't blame you for continuously staring at his ass Himeko-chan, 'cause it's something to look at." My mouth popped open, and so did Gaara's. He looked from Yuuki to me.  
"Why? Why me?" his cold, emotionless face was long gone. It was replaced by an expression of pure shock, confusion and amazement. I felt a sudden urge to glomp him. I think that my cousin noticed, because she grabbed my arm. I answered his question.  
"What do you mean 'why'? Everything about you screams cool, amazing and unique. And if you own a mirror, you will understand how cute and hot you are. I know this is hard for you to believe but... Gaara... you have so many, _many_ fans that love you for who you are. Just the way you are. When they see the _real_ you. Not the you that people think you are."

Gaara's lips parted in astonishment. Then, he blinked and gazed down at the table. He looked deep in thought. And his cheeks were slightly more colored, if you looked well. Temari saw it too. She smiled at him, even if he couldn't see. She looked as if she was debating whether to give him a hug or not. In the end she, she decided against it, he _was_ still Gaara after all.

"Hey, everybody... Guess what?" Everyone faced Yuuki. She grinned evilly at me. Oh no. "All those fans' comments... Where actually our own opinions! Because, you know what? Each and everyone one of you have so many fans, but we are probably your biggest ones, Himeko-chan, Ryo-kun and I." All the ninjas gasped and looked at me. Some of them were surprised. I thought that they would get pissed, but they all grinned or smiled... or hid their smiles in a few cases. Kankuro sighed.  
"Hey, Himeko-chan, don't make that face, we aren't mad. You probably know this already, but I don't think any of us get showered in compliments... ever. So, a million fans or none... Every single one of us feel hot thanks to you and Yuuki-chan."

Now, everyone turned to gawk at the puppet-nin. Temari looked extremely panicked. She ran over to Kankuro and hugged him tight.  
"YOU! Who ever you are, you aren't my idiotic brother! So... please! Stay this way! I'd rather have you than the dumb ass I have to deal with everyday!"  
"Geez... Can't I say something mature without you doing that Temari? It's kind of offensive..." Everyone laughed at that.

I realized how nice this was. All the genins, here, not trying to kill each other... I don't know when this happened but... wow. Life sure is full of surprises.

Suddenly, and explosion shook the room. A huge puff of smoke formed in the front of the room. When is cleared, I saw a tall, strict looking ninja. Oh. I almost forgot about that. He looked at all of us, ready to make us suffer.  
"Thank you for waiting! I'm the examiner for the first test of the Chuunin Selection Exam, Morino Ibiki. Settle down. I will say this now. There will be no fighting without the permission of the examiner. Even if this permission is granted, there will be no killing of your opponent. Those who do so will be disqualified immediately. Now, the first exam will start. So, bring us your application, pick one of these numbers and sit in the seat assigned to you. We will then hand out the exam problems."

The room went silent as the scary looking proctor announced our impending doom. I glanced at my team. I knew that they were thinking the same, important, crucial thing as me.  
I wonder which seat I'm getting?

...

**I hope that you enjoyed that! Yes, I do adore Kankuro, so I like giving him mature moments. Like in my other fanfic, if you want to look at it. Its SandSibCentric. And I've put up a few polls that could help me get ideas for the rest of this story, so you guys should check those out.**  
**I don't hate any character (apart Kabuto), so I only, mostly think good things about them.**  
**Please review! Then it would make my holiday much brighter, and if I'm bright in the head, I write better. So, thank you to my readers and my reviewers, who are: Totally CRAZY and Hyper, leogirl321, Xx-im-da-lonely-emo-girl-xX, Suezanne, Drakloverxpsycho, pink-pajamas12, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, forever-sweet, piixmiin and dreamingofmagic. If you want me to carefully type your name there, it's as easy as pressing that little button with 'review' written on it!**  
**Happy holidays!**  
**~~~XOXO HimekoUchia**


	11. Chuunin Test, Do or Die Of Boredom

********

**I do not own Naruto or any of the ninja here. Not Gaara *cries like a baby and throws a tantrum*.**  
**Thank you to all who review, fave or simply read my story! And thank you to my beta, martinlitre (AKA Ryo)!**  
**I'm glad that most of you liked the last chapter! I always think that my work sucks until I post it, then I get wonderful reviews and I smile. Thanks!**

_..._

Last Chapter:

_Suddenly, and explosion shook the room. A huge puff of smoke formed in the front of the room. When is cleared, I saw a tall, strict looking ninja. Oh. I almost forgot about that. He looked at all of us, ready to make us suffer._  
_"Thank you for waiting! I'm the examiner for the first test of the Chuunin Selection Exam, Morino Ibiki. Settle down. I will say this now. There will be no fighting without the permission of the examiner. Even if this permission is granted, there will be no killing of your opponent. Those who do so will be disqualified immediately. Now, the first exam will start. So, bring us your application, pick one of these numbers and sit in the seat assigned to you. We will then hand out the exam problems."_

_The room went silent as the scary looking proctor announced our impending doom. I glanced at my team. I knew that they were thinking the same, important, crucial thing as me._  
_I wonder which seat I'm getting?_

********

...

Ryo, Yuuki and I placed our hands over our ears just in time.

"WHAT? A _written _test?" screamed Naruto. People around the room echoed that. Ibiki shut them up.

"Yes. I haven't got all day, so hurry up and grab a number."  
A small queue started forming. My team and I got into it. We grinned at each other. Since we knew the point of the exam, this wouldn't be too hard. All we had to do was answer one question and stay for the last one. Easy. But Naruto wasn't so peaceful. I put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Don't worry. Relax. I know that you can do this." He gulped and smiled nervously.  
"Yeah! I'll do fine! Believe it!" Well, we all know that he's gonna be screwed for the questions anyway.

When our turn arrived, we greeted the examiners and handed them our applications. They gave each of us a number. I looked at mine.  
"I got 91!" Ryo showed me his.  
"...Hm, 87. So, you shouldn't be too far away." Yuuki showed us her card.  
"Number 6. Shoot, I'm in the front row."  
Before parting ways, Ryo leaned in to whisper something to me.  
"Which guy is it?" I looked around and located who he was looking for.  
"There." I pointed to the two fake genins. "One is sitting down two rows behind us, two seats to your left. The other guy is supposed to be right in front of Naruto.""  
"OK."

I sat down. Yuuki was indeed in the front row, right in front of the fake genin. Ryo was one table to me left. Sitting next to me were people who's existence I've never noticed until this moment. Two tables in front of me was Sakura.  
Naruto and Hinata were four tables in front of me. I didn't bother locating the other rookies and important people. I turned around to see who was behind me. I nearly grinned my face off.

"Good luck Gaara-kun." He nodded back to me. Then, I turned to face Ibiki who was tapping a piece of chalk on the black board.  
"OK! Now, for the rules..." I tuned him out. I already knew this stuff. Your exam scores are based on the entire teams' points... Blah blah blah... Don't get caught cheating... Blah blah... The last question will be handed out in 45 minutes... Blah blah blah... Tick tock tick tock.  
"Begin!" I practically heard the stress music playing in my head. I turned over my paper, didn't bother reading the Japanese stuff, picked up my pencil and waited for Ryo to do his thing.

...

********

**Ryo P.O.V.**

The second the exam started, I scanned the room and my eyes rested on the guy who had all the answers. I grinned. I clasped my hands in front of me casually and placed my chin on them. I closed my eyes and focused on the guy.

My special power was memories. I could see any memories of anybody, in form of images. A mental image of one of the answers. That was all I needed. Then I could trust Himeko and Yuuki to answer as well. I scanned through the ninja's head, seeing everything.  
... Ew... Ew... Gross... Dinner... Kunai... more dirty stuff... I now know why Himeko told us to limit the use of our jutsu. You do not want to know everything these people were thinking about... Ew... Missions... Book... Exam answers... Bingo.  
I picked up my pencil. I saw my team do the same. Then, I started copying the Japanese characters, straight out of the unsuspecting ninja's memories.

I decided to copy two of them, just to be safe. In case Yuuki did something stupidly suspicious and got points removed. It didn't really matter. I didn't understand a single thing on my page, but I knew that my answers were chuunin leveled. Actually, they were the exact, perfect answers to the problems. I ended up writing them down faster than the guy himself. This saved our team the time to actually wait for him to write the stuff down. I grinned to myself. We were a bunch of mind players.

Without having to think of any of the problems, I wrote down the minimum stuff in about ten minutes. It wasn't really easy copying Japanese characters word per word, but my friends and I had a few practices.  
I gladly unactivated my jutsu. I still had so much time left. I picked up my pencil and started filling up the blank squares on my paper with random sketches of weapons, landscapes and a couple quotes to pass the time.

...

********

**Yuuki P.O.V.**

I waited a couple long minutes for Ryo to steal the answers for us. The second he picked up his pencil, Himeko and I did the same. I blinked a few times and activated my jutsu. It was a little like Ino's mind possession, but there where a few differences. For example, I couldn't take over your body, but I could project part of my soul into your body and have access to your five senses: hearing, taste, touch, sight and smell. A few things that made this jutsu very convenient was that I still had control over my own body, all I needed to project my soul was concentration and my victim didn't feel my soul inside of him. It was pretty useful.

I 'borrowed' Ryo's eyesight so that I could see his paper, and started copying the exact characters from his page. I felt like laughing out loud. This was too easy. I felt bad for all the dumb ninjas that were stressing themselves out over this. I glanced at Naruto. He was... totally stressed. Not surprised.

After I copied down the two answers onto my paper, I glanced at the clock. Damn, only ten minutes had passed. This was going to be so boring. I sighed, picked up my pencil again and started covering my problem sheet with hearts, flowers and a few little 'messages' for Ibiki when he would later pick up my page. I snickered and hoped that he could read English.  
'The ninja sitting in the seat beside me is staring at my butt.' 'Guess what color my bra is!' 'Whoever is reading this should get a manicure, seriously...'

...

**Back to Himeko's P.O.V.**

I watched Ryo go through the ninja's memories. I chuckled when he made a face. He must have hit a perverted mental image. That, and respecting privacy, were the reasons why we limited out jutsu uses to the bare minimum. I saw my friend's face light up when he found the answers.

I smiled and activated my jutsu. I could read minds. I could see all thoughts, images, emotions in a person's head, when he was thinking them. My team and I also had one offensive mind jutsu, projecting thoughts into people's mind. It could be used for battle, or messing around.  
Ryo pushed the image of the exam answer sheet onto the top of his head, making it easier for me to see it. I started copying down a few answers of the Chuunin Selection Exams, straight out of his mind. No need for incredible stealth, a sand eyeball or the Byakugan.

In about ten minutes, I finished writing the Japanese characters down. I racked my brains. What could I do for another thirty five minutes? I started writing Chinese and drawing Gaara all over my paper wherever there was space.

About fifteen minutes (and four Gaaras) later, my page was completely covered in pencil markings. Now what? ... Oh, I had an idea.

I pushed images of Shikamaru into Temari's mind. I could feel her confusion as to why she was thinking of him at a time like this. I left her mind before I could feel bad about prying. Hm...  
I mentally grinned and pushed a lot of images of Naruto into Sasuke's head. Especially some about their accidental kiss and all their moments. I could feel the Uchiha's complete shock. I stiffled a giggle.  
One of the examiners gave me a weird look. Shoot. I did the peace sign at him and smiled innocently. He smiled back and continued scanning the room for cheaters. Phew, that was close. I need to be careful, or my team and I would get kicked out. And that would be very inconvenient for messing with the ninja.

I flinched as four teams got eliminated. Some of them begged for another chance, some protested. I felt bad for them. But, I knew that they weren't the last to get kicked out.  
I passed the time by turning over my paper and continued drawing. Only a few minutes later did I realize that I was covering my once blank page with more Gaaras, hearts and love kanjis. Wow... that was disturbing. I felt myself go red. Am I really that creepy?

Then, I saw something that made my blood chill three times over. Hovering right about paper, was a grain of sand. Dammit! Please oh please, don't turn into an eyeball and see all the embarassing stuff I drew! I debated turning over my paper, but remembered that the other side was also covered in fan-art. I gulped and did the first thing that came to mind.  
I gently poked the gain of sand and, to my relief, it floated away, towards another table.

I nervously shifted in my seat and hoped that I could tough out the next twenty minutes without giving in to the obsessive need to draw all over the tables. I don't think that Ibiki would like that.  
What I really wanted to do was get a pocket mirror from my scroll and use it to stare at Gaara who was so conveniently seated behind me. But, ninja proctors and their suspicious minds would think that I'm cheating. I sighed. Nineteen minutes to go.

...

I spent the rest of the time guarding my test from grains of sand and enjoying people's stress and misery. I know that I'm all Peace & Love and stuff, but when I'm bored (or when Kabuto is around) I tend to get evil and bitchy. Well, my fellow human beings should all be able to understand that.

I stared at Ibiki as he had his inner monologue about how he's weeded out all of the hopeless cases and that he was ready for the last question.  
"All right! Listen up!" The entire room gave him full attention. "Now, for the tenth and final question!"  
The atmosphere was so tense, I had a huge urge to cough. But, I didn't, because that would be suicide.  
"But, before I give you the tenth question, there are some more rules you need to be aware of." The back door opened, and Kankuro walked in. After Ibiki's remark, he went on with the rules.  
"These rules are unique to question ten. Listen carefully, and try not to let them frighten you." I wanted to laugh. How subtle, really. "Okay, rule number one. Each of you can chose to not be given the question. It's your decision."

"Woah! What's the catch?" asked/yelled Temari. The proctor chuckled.  
"If you chose to not take the tenth question, regardless of your answers to the other nine, you get a zero. In other words, you fail. And that means, of course, both your teammates fail as well." Murmurs were heard across the room. I was just impatient to answer and go mess around. I gave into my earlier urge and started drawing a caricature of Ibiki on the table.  
"You guys didn't let me finish! If you do accept to answer the question, and answer it incorrectly... you will not only fail... You will be banned from taking the chuunin exams ever again!"

Cue gasps and shouting and Akamaru's barks.  
"Of course, you don't have to take the question. If you aren't feeling confident... skip it. You can try to take the exams next year." He chuckled evilly "Now, if you're ready... The tenth and final question! If you don't want to take it, raise your hand and you're free to go!"

At this moment, about everyone in this room had a stressful argument with their conscience. Should they do it? Should they bail on their teams? What to do? Jiminy Cricket, help me! Or something like that. One person raised their hand. Then, like a contagious disease, people raised their hands one by one and got their teams disqualified.

Last but not least, Naruto raised his hand. Everyone watched him struggle for a good ten seconds. Then, like expected, he slammed it down with more force than necessary.  
"Don't underestimate me! I don't quit and I don't run! You can act tough all you want, but you aren't going to scare me off! NO WAY! I don't care if I do get stuck as a genin for the rest of my life!" He stood up. "I still will be Hokage someday!"

Silence roamed across the room and no body raised their hand. After a few seconds, Ibiki and all the examiners gave each other little nods.  
"Well, I admire your determination, if nothing else. For those of you who remain, I have one thing left to do... And that's for me to tell you... That you've all passed the first exam!" Cue amazment and dropping pencils. I heard Yuuki groan.

"FINALLY! This was the longest hour of my entire life! My butt hurts for sitting on this chair for so long!" The examiner gave her a weird look and chuckled, again. I rolled my eyes.  
"Ibiki-sensei... Please just tell us what the other nine questions were for so that we can get this over with..." He now gave me a weird look, then gave Ryo one. Yeah, _now _he realises that our test papers are mostly covered in squiggles and sketches. I braced myself for a long, boring speech.

"Those questions were to test your ability to strategically gather information under the most adverse circumstanced. You see, those question were to test not only you, but your team, and how well you functioned as part of that team. That's why the test was based on a team score basis. Knowing that everything you did, or failed to do, also affected your teammates. I wanted to see how you handled the pressure. And, as most of you must have noticed, the questions were to hard for you to be expected to solve them. So, you had to cheat to pass it. This test was designed for cheating, it demanded it. So, two chuunin who already knew the answers and were disguised as genin took the exam with you." The people raised their hands. "Those who were caught cheating were eliminated. Better not to cheat, than cheat clumsily."

He removed his hat. Everyone gulped at the scars on his bald head. Then, Ibiki continued his rant on information.  
"OK... But I still don't see the point of the tenth question." said Temari.

"You don't? The tenth question was the whole point of the exam. As I said before, this test tested you as part of a squad. The tenth question gave you two choices, both difficult. You could skip the question, but that meant that your team failed as well. Or you could try to answer, knowing if you answered wrong, you could loose your chances of ever being chuunin. It was a no win situation, but similar to those that chuunin have to face every day. For example, if you were to lead a mission, but you had no idea how many enemy ninja there were, and you knew that they probably expected you, do you withdraw from the mission thinking that you and your teammates would rather live another day?"

He said the last part like Yuuki would say 'Is wearing green spandex cool?'.

After a dramatic pause for effect, he continued.  
"NO! You can not! You must focus only on the goal of your mission! On your honor, on your village and on your discipline. These are the qualities required in a chuunin squad leader. those who chose the easier of two paths, those who falter in face of adversity, those who put their comrades lives in jeopordy by worrying about their own, those who would rather save their necks at the price of honor, aren't fit to call themselves chuunin!... At least as long as I'm here... As for you who remain, you have earned the right to go on to the next step. You have successfully passed this gate. I declare this part of the chuunin exam... completed. I can do nothing more than wish you all... good luck!"

Naruto went all hyper. Then, the windows crashed and in tumbled our next proctor.  
"Alright, heads up! This is no time for celebrating! I am your next proctor... Anko Mitarashi. Ready for the next test? Good! Then follow me!"

Everyone in the room sweat dropped. I couldn't blame them. Seeing her be even louder than the knuckle head was indeed jaw dropping.

"... Ibiki. You let all of these kids pass? Your test was too easy! You must be getting soft!"  
"Or, it could be that we have a stronger crop of candidates this year."  
"Hm... They don't look it. Trust me, when I'm done with them, more than half would be eliminated. This is gonna be fun... Alright, you maggots have had it easy so far, but things are going to be different first thing tomorrow morning. I let your squad leaders know where you're to meet me. Dismissed."

I sighed in relief. That hour was simply painful. I slid my paper over my caricature of the examiner and stood up. Along with the rest of the room, my team and I exited this hell hole, buzzing with happiness.  
Hmmm... What could I do whilst waiting for tomorrow? I glanced around at all of the 'important' genins, the boys in particular.

I grinned to myself. I knew what I could do to mess with them some more.

**...**

**Writing this chapter has made me realize how incredibly boring this exam must be for those who know the point of it. And did anyone notice in the manga how some of the examiners had their eyes covered? What is that?**  
**Well, yeah. Hope the chapter was ok, please review, and all that blah. The next chapter will be another hilarious 'annoy the ninjas to death' chapter. **  
**Sorry, I had to sit through an exam for this chapter. Hope you guys understand the difficulty of being in the Naruto world... nah.**  
**So, my awesome reviewers are: saku123, bloodshadows, ArisonxGaara, Totally CRAZY and Hyper, leogirl321, Xx-im-da-lonely-emo-girl-xX, Suezanne, Drakloverxpsycho, pink-pajamas12, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, forever-sweet, piixmiin and dreamingofmagic.  
See you next time!  
~~~XOXO HimekoUchia**


	12. Games and Mochis

**Wow! Already chapter 12! I never knew that it would be so long! Thanks to you *points at screen*, I managed to write this damn much!  
After a long, boring hour of exams and papers and concentrations... Let's mess around!**  
**I do not own anything related to Naruto. Not the characters, the places, the food or anything. So please don't sue me!**  
**Hope you enjoy it!**

**...**

_Last Chapter:_

_Hmmm... What could I do whilst waiting for tomorrow? I glanced around at all of the 'important' genins, the boys in particular. _

_I grinned to myself. I knew what I could do to mess with them some more._

...

"Um... Himeko-chan? What are you thinking about? Your smile is creeping me out..." Ryo shivered and I laughed my butt off at the not-very-appropriate-timing-or-place idea that I just had.  
"You will soon see! Unless you want to spare your sanity and let me go alone-..." Yuuki cut me off.  
"Like _hell _we are letting you go anywhere alone after what happened last time! Who knows who is after us? Waiting to take us down one by one?" I rolled my eyes.  
"Fine. Did you see Shino?"

They both looked extremely surprised and pointed in a general direction. I ran after the bug-nin, followed by my friends. Ryo grabbed my arm.  
"Woah, slow down! What are you going to do? I do_ not _want a thousand bugs after me at night!" I glared impatiently at him.  
"OK. You know how Shino shows no emotion whatsoever right?"  
"Um... Yeah?"  
"Well, he is going to be the first for me to experiment on! If _he_ reacts... Then I can't wait to see how the others would!"  
"Hold your horses! I do not want bugs, ninja, sand, assassins and murderous psychopaths after us! What the hell are you going to do?"  
I grinned my evil grin.  
"Wait and follow me..."

I spotted the guy wielding sunglasses standing alone in the training grounds. I skipped over to him. Since most of his face is hidden, I had no idea what he was thinking. I think that it's either: _Oh, what is she doing here?_ or _Oh shit! What's she doing here?  
_"Hello Himeko-san..."  
"Yo Shino-kun! Do you want to play a game?" I could practically feel his suspicion/curiosity.  
"I... need to train to be ready for the next part of the chuunin exams." I sighed loudly.  
"But... That's tomorrow!"  
"Sorry..."

I racked my brains and came up with the perfect excuse.  
"What if I said that this game was the perfect ninja training? That it helps you judge whether or not you have control fit for a shinobi?"  
He paused to think for a moment. Please fall for it, please fall for it! Take the bait! C'mon! C'mon!  
"Well... OK then." I wanted to high five myself, but that would be weird.  
"Yay! So the rules... If you get nervous, tell me and I will stop. If you say no, I'll keep going!" He stared blankly at me. I saw my friends cover their mouths to keep from laughing. I think that they figured out what my plan was.

"Uh... what?"  
"This game is called..." I placed a hand on his thigh. "Are you nervous yet?"  
I think I heard him gulp, but that could have been my imagination.  
"Uh... No?" I slid my hand up his leg. I think that he stiffened.  
"Are you nervous yet?"  
"No..." He didn't sound so sure. I mental laughed sadistically. I slid my hand up so that it was on his hip.  
"Are you nervous yet?"  
"... N... No." The only reason he is still going on is probably for the sake of his years of ninja training. I smirked and slid my hand slowly... closer and closer to his stomach until...

"ACKKK!" I blinked as Shino, the stoic bug-nin, jumped back halfway across the clearing and put a hand on his heart as if he was trying not to have a heart attack. He was swaying from hysterically from side to side. Then he passed out. Just like that.

My teammates and I sweat dropped and stared at his unconscious from.  
"Wow... Kiba wasn't kidding when he said that Shino wasn't used to girls hugging or having any physical contact with him..." Ryo and Yuuki both nodded. My cousin then looked at me with horrified eyes.  
"Do... Do you think that he's dead? Did you kill him?" I shrugged and checked Shino's pulse.  
"Nope, he's alive." Ryo scratched the back of his head.  
"Should we bring him to his teammates or something? We can't leave him here or anything..."  
"You're right. I think I saw Kiba and Hinata walking towards the jonin or squad leader lounge."

My friend then picked up Shino and tossed him over his shoulder.  
"Lead the way."

After a few minutes of running around and weird looks from passers, we managed to locate the four jonins' meeting spot. Indeed, Kiba and Hinata were with them. They all stared wide eyed at the unconscious teammate/student/colleague's student.  
"Shino! What happened?" asked a worried Kurenai, making space on the couch for Ryo to put the out cold ninja on. I shifted nervously from side to side. They all stared at me, expecting an answer. I glanced at my friends. They glared at me. I gulped. What do I tell them?  
"Uh... Shino-kun passed out due to... intensive ninja training." Hinata's eyes widened.  
"B-but... Himeko-san! W-we only just left the e-examination ce-center!"

Crap. She has a point. Kiba was trying to reanimate his friend and all the jonin were staring suspiciously at me. I snapped under the pressure.  
"I'm sorry! I had no idea he was going to pass out!"  
"What did you do to my student?" asked Kurenai, clearly ready to pound me to death if I had tried to harm Shino.  
"I played an innapropriate game to test his self control with him! I mean... He's _Shino Aburame_. I didn't mean for him to pass out! And I _wasn't _trying to rape him." I added the last part because of the look Kakashi gave me.  
Everybody looked clearly relieved. I didn't know if that was insulting or not.  
"Fine. You are dismissed." I waved to Hinata and Kiba and practically ran out of the lounge.

When my friends and I were safely outside, we just stood their glancing at each other for some time. Then, we bursted out laughing.  
"Hahaha! That was... Hahaha! That was so hilarious! I can't believe that Shino_ fainted_! Hahaha!" choked out Ryo. Yuuki tried to say something as well, but nothing came out because she was giggling too hard. When I calmed down, I looked at the sky and thought aloud to myself.  
"Wow. If the most stoic ninja here passes out during a game of 'Are you nervous yet?', then what would another cold, emotionless ninja do?"  
Ryo and Yuuki instantly stopped laughing.  
"NO! Himeko! That was dangerous already! STOP!" I chuckled and ran away, with my friends trying to stop me.

...

Well, of course, they gave up and decided to watch me in work. After a few moments, I found my next victim throwing kunai at innocent trees.  
"Hiya Sasuke-kun! Congratulations on passing the test!" I grinned when the Uchiha jumped a bit in surprise.  
"Ah. Ryo-san. Yuuki-san. Himeko-san... Um... Thanks, I guess." He walked over to the tree and pulled out his projectiles. He then placed them in a pile, ready to throw again. He looked up and saw that I was still standing there.

"What do you want now?" I grinned at him and skipped closer to him. I used the excuse that worked with Shino.  
"Well, Sasuke-kun, you train so hard. I have a ninja training exercise to share with you, if you want. It's very convenient because it tests your ability to remain cool in face of adversity. So, want to try it? Or are you scared?" I hit a sensitive spot there. He stood up straight and glared at me.  
"I'm not scared. I can complete your training exercise with my eyes closed. What is it?" I had a mental laugh that put Orochimaru to shame.  
"OK! If you feel nervous, therefore cannot control your emotions, say 'yes'. If you say 'no', I will keep going." He raised an eyebrow.  
"So, what is this exercise?"

I smirked evilly and placed my hand on his thigh.  
"Are you nervous yet?" Sasuke gasped as he realized what I was doing. But, then, he probably remembered my words about not being able to control emotions. He pressed his lips into a hard line.  
"No." I grinned and slid my hand further up his leg. His cheeks started turning slightly pink. Hehehe.  
"What about now?"  
"No."  
I placed my hand on his hip. He was really starting to become red now. Awww. Sasuke-kun is blushing. How kawaii! If it wasn't for the fact that we were playing a perverted game. But, I think that he was starting to realize that too.  
"Are you nervous yet?"  
"No."  
I slid my hand onto the bottom of his stomach. I could feel his abs under his shirt. I held back my own blush. Well, yeah, this is the gorgeous Sasuke Uchiha's stomach that I'm touching. I nearly giggled like a fangirl.  
"Nervous yet?"  
"Hn... No." I smiled innocently and slowly, slowly slid my hand lower. Sasuke realized what my next destination was.  
"Are you ner-..."  
"YES!"

Victory. I chuckled and removed my hand from the Uchiha's personal bubble space. He looked slightly wobbly and was very red in the face. Heh, looks like almighty Sasuke can't survive a game of 'Are you nervous yet?'. He lasted longer than Shino though. He must be more used to girls since he constantly gets glomped by fangirls.  
"You failed! Hah!" He was so messed up that he didn't even retaliate against that. I suddenly felt nervous.  
"Uh... Sasuke-kun? Are you OK? Please don't pass out! I don't want to have to carry you to Kakashi and explain myself to the jonins again!" He blinked back into existence and glared at me.  
"I'm not weak! I'm not going to faint! I'm not... What? Again?" I grinned sheepishly.  
"Heh. Shino didn't stay conscious when I did this to him. Ryo had to bring him to Kurenai-sensei! It was... very awkward." Sasuke's eyes widened.  
"Shino? The Aburame kid?"  
"Yeah."  
"Wow."  
"I know right?"

He wasn't completely colorless yet. He still looked nervous. I wanted to gather a circle and laughed hysterically at the Uchiha, but something inside of my told me that I wouldn't live to see tomorrow if I did.  
"Well, be proud of yourself though! You didn't faint! I guess that you sort of pass the the training test in some ways. Bye!"  
"Hn." Sasuke nodded at my friends and I before continuing his kunai throwing, still slightly wobbly. I smiled and left him in peace.

Once out of his hearing range, I had another round of relishing-people's-discomfort-evil laugh. I scared myself sometimes. But, as they say, 'If you scare the hell out of yourself, then you must be doing something either very right, or very stupid.' Well, OK,_ I_ said that.  
"Ne, Himeko-chan? Who's next, Neji-kun?" I stared Yuuki down as if she was dumb.  
"Oh, sure. If you want Tenten to hack my freaking hand off!"  
"Oh. Right." I sighed. Then, Shikamaru just happened to randomly walk by.

"Shikamaru-kun! Do you want some intensive control training?" He froze mid-step and looked at me, horrified.  
"No way! That's to troublesome! Besides, I heard what happened to Shino!"  
Aw, damn. Trust Shikamaru to know everything. Too bad.  
I was going to ask the genin another question, but when I turned back to look at him, he had disappeared and left behind a swirling cloud of dust. How suspicious.  
I tapped my chin, deep in thought. Who else is stoic, cold, dark, cool, emotionless, calm and is not Neji?

My face split into an ear-to-ear grin.  
Now, to locate the next victim.

...

The little red head was sitting alone, in a clearing, doing something that looked a lot like meditating. He looked up at me when he heard my footsteps.  
"Hi Gaara-kun! Did you ditch your team?" He stared at me before nodding. He glanced over my shoulder. I guess that my friends followed me again.  
"Where you just training you control and stuff?" I glanced at his crossed legged position and gave him a look that dared him to disagree with me. He didn't.  
"Yes."  
"I have another training exercise that tests how well you keep your cool in face of... uh... adversity. It's not of any danger to your existence, unless you get a heart attack. But I highly doubt that." I looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. He stared blankly at me.  
"Fine."

I mentally happy danced. I walked over so that I was closer to him. He raised an invisible eyebrow. I cleared my throat.  
"So, it's simple. I'll ask you 'Are you nervous yet?' and you can reply by 'yes' or by 'no'. If you say 'yes', I'll stop. If you can take it and say 'no', I'll keep going. 'Kay?"  
He shrugged and nodded slowly. I held back a scream of victory. I gently placed a hand on his thigh. His beautiful, muscled thigh. His eyes widened in complete shock but he didn't move.  
"Are you nervous yet?"  
"... uh... No." His eyes didn't leave my hand as it slid up his leg. He must really want to be able to control himself.  
"Are you nervous yet?"  
"... No?" I put my palm onto his hip. I'm pretty sure that my cheeks were the same shade as his hair now. Since I'm, like, absolutely obsessed in him and I'm touching him.  
"What about now?"  
"No." I held back a fangirl squeal as I slid my hand onto his stomach. It used _every_ amount of _my _self control to stop myself from... RIPPING THIS FREAKING SHIRT OFF AND TO GLOMP GAARA'S ABS! Ahem. I do value my life though.  
"Nervous?" I waited for an answer. I never got it, because he killed me then and there. Then, he went after my family.

Nah, just kidding.  
Actually, I didn't get the answer because Gaara was silent. Creepily silent. I looked up at his face and expected him to be blushing or sweating or something. But his face was completely blank and void of any emotion. Suddenly, he started twitching. Badly. And he gulped loudly for air. Again and again.  
Holy Janshin, is Gaara having a heart attack? Damn! Please don't tell me that Gaara is going to die! Don't die!  
"Gaara! Calm down! Are you OK?" He didn't stop twitching. I panicked, snapped and did the only thing I could think of. I slapped him. Hard. It went straight through his sand shield and armor and hit him in the face. He stopped twitching and stood still. Then, he shakily put a hand to his cheek.

Aw, crap. What did I just do?  
"_HolyshitohmygodI'msosorryIdidn'tmeantohityouohmygod_! I'm so sorry Gaara! Did I hurt you?" I stared at the boy with huge, worried eyes. My god, I can't believe that I just slapped Gaara across the friggin' face! Not only because he was probably going to kill me, but I can't believe I just panicked and did that! At least he didn't die of a heart attack during 'Are you nervous yet?'. That would have been much more terrifying.  
"Yes. You did." He said in a voice empty of all emotion. That was better than no voice I guess.  
"Damn. I'm really sorry. I just freaked out! Is there anything that I can do to make it better?" He slowly lifted his hand off his face and rubbed that spot.  
"No. It's fine." My eyes nearly bugged out of there sockets.  
"What? I slapped you! I feel terrible about it! You're not going to kill me?" He looked surprised.  
"No. Just don't do it again." I sighed in relief and nearly hugged Gaara like a teddy bear. But, he just spared my life, so that was probably pushing it too far.  
"Sorry. I promise that I won't slap you again! ... But if you wack out and start getting a heart attack, what should I do? I can't let you die!"

He wasn't planning on answering, but, he stared at my worried eyes and decided that it was for the best. He didn't look as if he enjoyed being smacked across the face.  
"If I have a _panic attack_, just get out of the way before I snap. That's what Temari and Kankuro do."  
"What? But I can't just let you have a panic attack and don't do anything about it!" He stared at me for a long time.  
"Fine. If I'm about to snap, hit me again. Since it seems to work." I blinked in complete and utter bewilderment. Did Gaara just... give me permission to slap him if he was about to lose control over his mentality?  
"Uh... OK?"

I looked shamefully down at me feet. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryo and Yuuki. They were both frozen in shock with their mouths hanging open and closing, a lot like fish. I guess they can't believe that I didn't die either.  
I felt so bad about hitting Gaara in the face. And I was right, he _is_ really kind once he got past the adorable bratty side of him. But he was starting to act really weird in the last couple hours. It was frightening yet a good thing.

Then, I had a wonderful idea.  
"Say... Your siblings aren't here with you. You're alone. Do you want to come eat something with us?" He stared at me with wide open, shocked eyes. Something tells me that jinchuurikis don't get invited out to eat much.  
"I... I don't know if..."  
"I still feel like stabbing myself for hurting you, so it could be like an apology gift or something. How does that sound?" I really, really wanted to eat lunch with Gaara, but that was really obvious.  
"Um... OK." I grinned and cheered up right away. I grabbed his hand and pulled his still-in-shock self out of the clearing along with my friends, who were in a similar state as the red head.

...

All four of us were sitting in a small dessert shop somewhere in Konoha. Since it was only about 5 o'clock, it was practically empty. Yuuki and Ryo were both looking at the menu, scanning through the pictures to find something that looked appetizing. Gaara was sitting there, clearly uncomfortable and was probably wondering what the hell he was doing here.  
A young waitress, in her twenties, came over to take our orders. I looked at my menu but didn't understand anything. I then remembered the name of one of my favorite Japanese desserts.  
"Uh... Do you have white chocolate mochis?" She smiled and looked at the miniature menu she had.  
"Yes! We do!"  
"Oooh! Mochis! Can I have one of those too please?" asked Yuuki.  
"White chocolate mochis? Sounds good. Can I take an order of those too? Thanks!" said Ryo. The waitress smiled and noted everything down. She turned to Gaara.  
"What about you sir?" Gaara blinked a few times.  
"Same... Please."  
"OK! Four orders of white chocolate mochis coming up!" The waitress left and we were left in complete and awkward silence.

"Gaara-kun? Would you rather trip and fall flat on your face in the middle of Suna's main road or... get caught wearing a miniskirt and high heels by your father and Baki?"  
Both Ryo and Yuuki spluttered in surprise and looked at me with a 'what the hell?' look. I shrugged. I seriously hate awkward silences. Gaara looked as he was hesitating between glaring at me and being shocked.  
"Both of those are impossible."  
"That's the point. It's called 'Would you rather...'. It shows that people can think really differently for each other. So, which one?"  
"None." I sighed, exasperated.  
"Gaara-kun... Just pick one." He looked irritated at me, but actually answered.  
"Fall flat in the middle of Suna's main road." I chuckled.  
"Why?"  
"Because... Suna already hates me. But, if the Kazekage and Baki caught me cross dressing... I could never live it down." I nodded. That was a pretty good reason. Though I didn't expect Gaara to know the feeling of humiliation. I guess that there are still a few things about him that I don't know.

After asking Yuuki and Ryo a question each, the desserts arrived. My eyes were gleaming like stars as I stared at the delicious looking mochis.  
They tasted delicious too.  
Judging my friends' faces, they agreed with me. Gaara looked blankly down at his bun, and took a bite out of it. His eyes widened.  
"It... tastes good. Suna doesn't have these." I grinned. Seeing Gaara actually like something, even if it was a chocolate dessert, made me happy.  
"These would probably melt in two seconds flat in your village's heat. Just saying." Gaara smiled a small smile. I blinked a few times, to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I wasn't. I grinned even wider. So, not only was Gaara enjoying a little afternoon snack with us, but he smiled too. This day was getting better and better.  
I finished my mochi, watching everyone else eating theirs.

When we were all done and paid the bill, we just sat in the shop for awhile. Yuuki broke the comfortable silence.  
"Hey, Gaara! Would you rather catch Kankuro and Temari having a threesome with someone, or would you rather kiss your siblings on the lips?"  
Ryo and I groaned and slapped our foreheads. Trust Yuuki to come up with something like that. Poor Gaara. He looked horrified at the mental images my friend had just given him. He just stared opened mouthed at her. Yuuki shrugged.  
"You have to pick one!"

Gaara looked extremely tormented. For a second, I thought he was going to start twitching again. Then, he gulped and answered the question.  
"I would rather... kiss Temari and Kankuro on the lips."  
"Huh? What?"

All four of us jumped in shock and stared at the three people standing there. Speak of the devil. Temari, Kankuro and Baki were ogling at Gaara.  
Shoot, they must have heard Gaara say that he would kiss his siblings. That is _embarrassing_. I felt so bad for him. Gaara was staring enormous eyed and lips pressed into a thin line at them. I think that he was starting to turn as red as his hair.  
"..." Nothing came out of his mouth when he was trying to explain himself. I tried to help.  
"We were playing 'Would you rather...'. Gaara-kun didn't mean it that way! It was either a choice between kissing you two or... uh..."

"I do_ not _want to know." choked out a very disturbed Baki. "We came here to bring Gaara to his training session. I have no idea what the hell you were doing, but Gaara, come. _Now_."  
_Away from the three freaks! _his tone seemed to scream. Gaara gulped, blinked, then plastered an emotionless look onto his face. He slowly stood up and followed his team out. He turned around and mouthed 'bye' to Ryo and me. He glared at Yuuki for getting him into this mess. She mouthed 'sorry' before we all waved good-bye to him.

When it was the three of us alone in the empty restaurant, we just sat there for a long, long time. Suddenly, Ryo looked up at Yuuki and I.  
"Does someone care to explain to me _what the hell_ just happened?"

...

**I hoped that you enjoyed reading this chapter!**  
**Mochis are thin sticky buns made with rice flour and stuffed with cream and chocolate and stuff. They are amazing!**  
**So, this is what would happen if I decided to play 'Are you nervous yet?' with Gaara. He would end up weirding his siblings out. I have no idea how it ended up there!**  
**Well, please review! It would make me so happy!**  
**Thank you Nectarine Nightshine, saku123, bloodshadows, ArisonxGaara, Totally CRAZY and Hyper, leogirl321, Xx-im-da-lonely-emo-girl-xX, Suezanne, Drakloverxpsycho, pink-pajamas12, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, forever-sweet, piixmiin and dreamingofmagic.  
~~~XOXO HimekoUchia**


	13. The Dare of Doom!

**It feels amazing to finally be able to write for you guys again! Plus, my writer's block crumbled to dust! I can write again.**  
**So, first, I'm soooooooo sorry that I made you guys wait for ages! In my defence, I didn't get to touch the computer for more than five minutes until now!  
Oh! And thank one of my reviewers for the idea. The one in the second half of this chapter. It doesn't have anything to do with food. You'll see. Thank you!  
Oh! And for all those romance lovers out there! You will like this chapter! I think...  
Oh! And yes, I will update my other fic about the Sand Sibs as soon as I can!  
****OK, so I'll stop the chit-chat and move on. I do not own anything that relates to Naruto, just my OCs!**

**...**

_Last Chapter:_

_When it was the three of us alone in the empty restaurant, we just sat there for a long, long time. Suddenly, Ryo looked up at Yuuki and I._  
_"Does someone care to explain to me what the hell just happened?"_

...

So after leaving the restaurant and strolling around Konoha to kill time, two hours had passed, and it was now dinner time.  
"You know, we could always simply go back to the hotel and eat there?" suggested Ryo hopefully, since he knew from experience that Yuuki and I took an awful lot of time to make our minds. Or he could have wanted to avoid another 'who can translate this Japanese for us?' moment, since there were a lot of those that I didn't care to mention.  
"Nah. That's boring." replied my cousin.

So we continued walking around, searching for a restaurant that sparkled and stood out from the others.  
We were still walking.

Then, just like that, I crashed into Sasuke. He looked as if he was hesitating between saying something or making a run for it. And, since he_ is _an Uchiha, he picked the first.  
"You are looking for a restaurant." he said. It wasn't even a question, but a statement. As if he knew everything.  
"Actually, no. We're looking for a strip club. Know any good ones?" His eyes widened in extreme shock. My friends and I laughed at his expression. When I finished, I patted him on the back.  
"Just kidding Sasuke-kun. Yes, we are looking for somewhere to eat. It is dinner time after all." He glared at me, but then looked as if he was thinking really hard about something. I waved my hand in front of his face to make him snap out of his intense concentration. He looked up at me.

"Do you... and your teammates, want to join me for dinner?"  
I blinked.  
"Whoa! Sasuke Uchiha, are you being social?" I asked, incredulous. I mean, if a hot, emo guy suggested something like that, you would be pretty amazed as well.  
"Hn." came his reply. I sighed and took that as a 'yes'. I grinned at him.  
"Lead the way chicken b-... Sasuke-kun!" He glared daggers at me, but started walking off in a general direction with us following him anyway.

Standing beside the almighty Uchiha is a very dangerous experience. Not because of him, but because of the plague of doom. Also known as Sasuke fangirls.  
If looks could kill, I would have died 43 times. That's how many girls gave me murderous, dirty looks and smiled sweetly at the Uchiha. I felt bad for him, because the fangirl 'nice' looks were a thousand times more frustrating that the 'evil' ones. I turned to him.  
"I never noticed how _many _girls liked you Sasuke-kun. I only ever noticed Sakura and Ino." He shrugged and spoke.  
"I learned to ignore people."  
"Yeah, you do that a lot."

He opened his mouth to say something back, but was cut off when a orange clad ninja hugged me.  
"HIMEKO-CHAN! Why are you hanging out with _teme_? Hang out with me instead! Or is he _forcing _you to be with him because he hates me!" he said/yelled. Sasuke looked as if he was ready to stab Naruto. I giggled and hugged Naruto back.  
"Hi Naruto-kun! Don't worry, I'm hanging out with Sasuke-kun on my own free will. And I'm pretty sure that he doesn't hate you." I smiled at Sasuke, in case he thought that I was only talking to him because I pitied his future traitorous ass. Which I most definitely wasn't.

"Naruto baka, instead of whining and being jealous, come with us." said the Uchiha, surprising me and my friends. The jinchuuriki just grinned and punched the air.  
"YES! Let's eat!" Naruto started humming to himself. He really was happy to have someone not only acknowledge him, but invite him to dinner. He hugged Yuuki, Ryo and tried to hug Sasuke, but the Uchiha evaded it just in time. I think he was having second thoughts about being nice around Naruto. I chuckled and continued walking.

Sasuke stopped in front of the barbecue house. The one I first met Team Kurenai and Asuma in. The one we got kicked out of.  
"Sasuke-kun. My friends and I have a little problem." He turned around and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  
"What?"  
"Last time we came here, we got thrown out and asked to never return for making to much noise." The Uchiha smirked.  
"Watch."

He walked up to the restaurant front door, smiled at the lady outside and indicated us to follow him in. She blushed and glared daggers at Yuuki and I. That makes 44 Sasuke fans that hate us.  
But, not so surprisingly, no one stopped us from entering. I guess walking closely next to Sasuke Uchiha does have a few benefits, and he knows it himself. And he doesn't have any regrets taking advantage of this. Oh well, he _is _Sasuke, I sigh mentally.

We sit down around a grill, Sasuke and I on one side, Yuuki, Ryo and Naruto on the other. A waitress comes to take our order, and when she leaves, she looks back at me and glares. That makes 45.  
"For the exam tomorrow, we have to all meet in front of the training ground. The one outside of the village. Since you don't have a jonin leader, no one must have told you." says Sasuke. I nod and smile.  
"Arigato. We appreciate it... So... What should we talk about?" A silence roams across the table. Then, Yuuki breaks it, of course.  
"Let's play a mini Truth or Dare! Naruto-kun, why don't you start?" Both ninjas are staring at us as if we were speaking some alien language.  
"... Please don't tell me that you have never played that game?" They shake their heads. My friends and I gawk at them. We explain the rules of the game and then they both accept to play.

"Uh... Ryo-kun, Truth of Dare?" asks Naruto.  
"Dare!" The genin thinks for a moment.  
"I dare you to... get _that _lady over there to write her name on your arm." He points over to a random table. Where Asuma and Kurenai are sitting alone. I start laughing, then slam my hands over my mouth to muffle the noise. I don't want to get thrown out again.  
Ryo stares horrified at Kurenai. Yuuki and I give him an 'are you a chicken?' look. He stands up and walks over to the jonin's table. I hold my breath and pray for Ryo's life.  
My friend says a few things to the sensei, and, to everyone's surprise, she grins and signs his arm.

He walks back looking very satisfied with himself.  
"My god! What did you say?" ask Naruto, Yuuki and I at the same time. Sasuke just looks from Ryo to Kurenai, shocked. My friend shrugs.  
"I asked her for an autograph." I face palm myself. That just made it so much easier.

"Moving on. Sasuke, Truth or Dare?" The Uchiha thinks for a second.  
"Truth."  
"... Who are the three girls here that you would most like to date?" Sasuke's eyes turn cold.  
"Not one. Let alone three."  
"You picked Truth teme. You have to answer." says Naruto with a grin. He is going to hold this against Sasuke forever, and he knows it. I am actually interested in this answer. As far as I know, Sasuke hates everyone except Naruto.  
"Himeko-san, Yuuki-san and... Hinata-san." My eyes go wide and I think that I blushed a little. Since _when _does Sasuke _not_ hate my guts?  
"Uh... Flattered, but... Why us three?" He frowns.  
"Fangirls are annoying." He replies flatly. I guess that I should have seen that coming. He does despise being glomped. And he doesn't act really friendly around Sakura and Ino either.

The waitress arrived with our drinks and sent Sasuke a flirty look again. I started sipping my water.  
"Himeko-san, Truth or Dare?"  
"Dare."

Sasuke went silent as he tried to think of something. After a few seconds, Yuuki leaned across the table and whispered in his ear. The Uchiha smirked.  
"Not a bad idea. But do you think that...?"  
"Oh, don't worry. She'll live. He isn't going to kill her." Giggles Yuuki.

I felt my blood chill. If it was my cousin's idea, I am pretty sure that it would be _extremely _suicidal. For me anyway.  
"Himeko-san... Tomorrow, you have to ask that Gaara guy... If he knows what_ it _is. _It_. You know what I mean."  
I promptly spat my water all over the table. I rounded on Sasuke, red in the face, and glared daggers at him.  
"WHAT? No way!" Ryo started laughing.  
"You have to. It's a Dare."  
"I can't believe that you could do this to me! Sasuke! I thought that we were friends!" He rolls his eyes.  
"Maybe, but I don't like Gaara. So I'm not changing my mind. You have to do it."

I grumbled. Great. So Gaara will have another reason to think of me as completely creepy. I glared once more at everybody at the table, and dreaded tomorrow to come.

...

That night, I dreamt that Cookie Dough Ice Cream and fried pork were the new Hokage. I've_ got _to stop eating barbecue before sleep. But I do like fudge! And chocolate cake! And...  
"WAKE UP HIMEKO!"  
"Gah!" I jump out of my bed with a start. I see Ryo and Yuuki standing there, laughing. "What? What's so funny?"  
They wipe tears from their eyes and answer my question.  
"You were talking in your sleep. Fried pork, the new Hokage? Fudge? You have strange, strange dreams Himeko-chan!" I growl and throw my pillow, shoe, empty bucket of popcorn and katana at my friends. They manage to duck every single one of my attacks.

"God, you guys are so annoying! Hey... What time is it?" Ryo shrugs and Yuuki looks at her phone.  
"Around 5 am. So get changed so that we can go for breakfast! We don't want to be late for the chuunin exams."  
I groan and flop myself back onto the bed.  
"Five more minutes."

Ryo walks over to me and pushes me off. I fall onto the floor with a thud.  
"OW! Alright, alright! I'm getting up! Sheesh!"

I get off the floor, grab my carefully folded clothes and lock myself in the bathroom. I change, brush my teeth, comb my hair and all that stuff that you do in the morning.  
When I'm satisfied with my reflection, I walk outside. I send my team a murderous look, tie my katana to my back and slip on my shoes.  
"OK. Ready to face the real ninja world of doom?" I call out.  
"Sure." says Ryo, smiling evilly at me.  
"Yup." adds Yuuki, grinning from ear to ear.

Their looks seriously creep me out.  
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
Ryo answers my question.  
"Don't forget that you have to..."  
"YES! I know! God. Why me?" I moan. "Urg. Let's just go eat."

As if I need anyone to remind me of my stupid Dare.

We exit our hotel room and went down the staircase that connect the different floors together. Once we reach the first floor, we calmly walk in. Actually, everybody else calmly walks in. I stomp in, fuming.  
Team Baki was sitting in the middle of the restaurant. But, to my concern/relief Gaara wasn't there. Oh, right. He doesn't eat and bond with his teammates.  
My friends and I sit down and eat breakfast.

When we are finished, we leave the restaurant and run up to the Sand Team minus Gaara who are walking a little off in front of us.  
"Boo!" Temari, Kankuro and Baki turn around, clearly not impressed.  
"Aww man! How are you not terrified?" whines Yuuki. The jonin huffs and answers.  
"We heard you coming. You should work on making your steps lighter... Probably train your swiftness and-..."  
"Whoa. This isn't rant time. It was just a joke. SHEESH!" I snap. Then, I cross my arms and continue sulking and glaring at my team.

Ryo and Yuuki slowly back away from me as a black raincloud with lighting zapping from it starts floating above my head. When I look up at it, non-existent rain falls onto my face. If I wasn't so depressive, I would have either thought this was cool or I would have started running around in circles screaming, trying to lose the stalking raincloud.  
Now, I was simply glad that my hair wasn't getting wet.

"Wow..." Everybody, even Baki, marveled at how my evil cloud was so amazingly awesome. I growled and everyone jumped backwards with yelp. I mentally cackled freakishly, like some deranged mad witch. I like this cloud.  
"Uh... Himeko-chan... Are you OK? You don't look so good..." started Kankuro. I glared at him, making him shut up.  
"Yeez. What tipped you off? The look, the growl or _that_?" I pointed at my anime raincloud. "Yes. I am not OK."  
"Why?" asked Temari. I sent her a withering look. Then pointed to my teammates.  
"Ask them. Or Sasuke Uchiha."

Everyone turned to look at my friends. Ryo shrugged and looked back at everyone sheepishly.  
"Himeko-chan is PMSing!" giggled Yuuki, with her annoying mouth.  
Awkward silence. Everybody now turned to look at me.  
"AHHHH! Am _not_!" I shrieked and caught Yuuki in a headlock. "I am _not _PMSing! But you ARE NOT telling them anything anyway! RYO YOU TOO! Am I _clear_?"  
Ryo gulped and nodded when I sent him my even-terrifies-Itachi glare. When I looked down at Yuuki, she was staring awestruck at my raincloud, which was now hailing above our heads.  
"Pretty..." she sounded in a daze.  
"YUUKI!" I tightened my hold on her.  
"Just kidding. Yes, very clear."

I let my cousin go. She snorted and walked to the side. Then, she started laughing at me. My eyebrow twitched and I threw a handful of ice chunks at her. She started jumping around, screaming:  
"AHH! COLD COLD COLD! Wha...?"  
As I said, I love my raincloud. It had just started snowing. But, naturally, my hair was fine.

"What is that?" asked Kankuro, pointing to the snow. Oh, right. He comes from a desert.  
"This... Is a mixture of water and freezing cold temperatures. It's the stage before ice and after sleet, water and gas." I recited my science lessons to the ninja. He just looked at me funny. Then, Temari and the puppet-nin stared at something behind me.

I spun around and, standing there in all his glory, was Gaara.  
My bad mood cloud dissolved with a _poof! _and I smiled brightly at him.  
"Hi Gaara-kun!" I try to resist the urge to glomp him, as usual.  
The jinchuuriki glanced at the still-in-raincloud-trance Baki, nervous Kankuro and Temari, traumatised Ryo, shivering Yuuki then back to me.  
"Hn." he replies.

"How many times do I have to tell you, and Sasuke too for that matter, that 'hn' is not a word!" I sighed dramatically and threw my hands up in the air.  
Gaara's expressive eyes seemed torn between coldness and amusement.

"Hey, Himeko-chan! About Sasuke... Dare!" called out Yuuki.  
I then remembered. I looked at Gaara. He locked eyes with me. My stomach did flips and my face went a darker red than his hair. I groaned.  
"Why me? WHY?"  
Gaara frowned and looked confused.  
"What?" he asked.  
"Nothing... Not now anyway." Too many people were around. I would die even more of embarrassment than necessary.

Silence roamed across the small deserted forest path in Konoha. This time, Baki broke it.  
"You are going to be late for the exam." I wanted to hug that guy, because, as everyone knows, I hate silences. But, since he is _Baki_... The urge was bearable.  
"You sir, are very right! Let's go!"  
"I'm going back." announced Baki, turning around and leaving.  
All of us teens started walking towards a general direction, somewhere in the trees. We are in the village hidden in the trees after all.

...

About twenty minutes of trudging through the forest later, we arrived at the clearing, with a training ground in it, that just happened to be another forest.  
About a hundred thousand genins were there. Well, they were obviously all genins, or they wouldn't be taking the chuunin exams, would they?  
"HEY GUYS! OVER HERE!" shouted Naruto, Kiba and Lee, waving like retarded seals.

The Sand Siblings and my team greeted Team Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai and Gai.  
Actually, I greeted everyone but Sakura and Ino, who were both obviously ignoring me for some reason. I sighed.  
"OK, what did I do this time?" They both turned and glared furiously at me. I know that glare. It's the Sasuke fangirl glare. Oh no.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT? You went on a date with _our _Sasuke-kun yesterday!" they both screamed into my face. I flinched and covered my poor ears.  
"Ouch. Um, no. I would never go on a date with Sasuke. It was just dinner. Yuuki, Ryo and Naruto were there! And... Hey! How do you two even know that?"  
Do these girls have a special radar of something?

They both huffed and flipped their hair in my direction, making my hand twitch longingly towards my kunai.  
"The waitress is a family friend. She told us everything. You were even sitting together!" Oh, right. The waitress.

I was going to explain that each chair at the barbecue could only hold three people, so, therefore, I ended up sitting next to the Uchiha. But, then, I thought about it. I loved messing with these infuriated fangirls. I grinned pervertedly and looked straight at the two kunoichi in front of me.  
"Dinner was... delicous." I said dreamily. Everybody in hearing range sweatdropped and looked at the two girls.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Sakura and Ino, lunging at me, steaming from the ears, clearly going for the kill.  
I laugh out loud and dodge easily. They get back up and jump at me again, so I avoid them again, dancing around the place with them hot on my trail. I make sure to not come in contact with the furious fangirls, because I could painfully lose an arm.

Everyone around us laugh of chuckled at our little display. They only laugh harder when I calmly greet them and start doing pirouettes.  
When I had had enough, I skipped back to my team and the Sand Sibs. When the two kunoichi see Gaara, they magically stop chasing me.

"Ne, Temari-san? Who makes your fan? And the designs..." started Ryo, dragging the fan wielding blond with him. He turned and gave me a grin and motioned towards Gaara. Oh no. But Yuuki followed his lead.  
"Kankuro-kun? I was wondering... Where does your puppet wood come from? You see I..." My cousin literally grabbed the ninja and pulled him away from me and Gaara. She winked at me. And Gaara saw it, but didn't ask anything. He did, however, glare at Sasuke, when the Uchiha snickered.

Well, might as well get this over with...  
"Um... Gaara-kun?" My voice was barely audible.  
Gaara turned and looked at me. I felt my face go very hot.  
"I was wondering... Uh... Could I ask you a very, very, _very _strange question?" I managed to ask. Gaara lifted an invisible brow and shrugged.  
"Yes."

Oh, Sasuke and Yuuki... Damn you two to hell and back. With the image of me beating those two to a pulp in my head, I took a deep breath. And completed my Dare.  
"UM! Do you... Somehow... I dunno... Uh.. Doyouknowwhat_it_is?" I stammered out. Gaara just stared at me as if I had grown an extra head.  
"Uh... What?" he said in his cool, calm voice. Man, I liked that voice.  
"Do you know what _it _is? Or are you still stuck in the baby delivering stork stage? Or the magic cabbage or whatever lies people feed kids these days?" I reply. To my utmost surprise, I managed to say that in my 'normal' mode. I didn't sound to incredibly nervous or embarrassed, which was exactly how I was feeling.

Gaara stared at me with large, confused eyes, but the rest of his face remained emotionless.  
"What?" Oh my god. He doesn't even know what I'm talking about.  
"Er... Nothing." I sigh in relief. I think that Gaara doesn't like not knowing things, because he sort of made an 'angry brat' face. It was really cute.  
"Explain." was all that he had to say to make my stomach flip, but in a bad way.

My Dare was to ask Gaara is he knew what 'it' is. Not to explain the thing to him!  
"Uh. OK. How do I start? Um... Gaara-kun, where do babies come from?" I decided to take the safest rout possible here. But I somehow have a gut feeling that something way fishy. Must be my imagination.  
"Mothers. I took mother's life when she gave me life..." The jinchuuriki's gaze hardened as he remembered his past. Sometimes, I really do forget that he is a psycho who kills people to validate his existence. But, for the moment, he wasn't whacking out.  
"Yes. But do you know _how _you got into her stomach?" His eyes landed on me making me extremely uncomfortable. "If you don't... ask Kankuro or something... But do you know?"  
"Is that what you meant by... _it_?" I could feel my face burning more and more by the second. Damn you Sasuke. Damn you Yuuki. I licked my lips before answering again.  
"Yes. And _it _is...?"  
"Sexual inter-..."  
"YES THAT!" I cut him off before I could pass out like Hinata does. "Finally! Jeez. Wow. You know! OK. Wow. That changes things! I'm glad we had this talk! See you around!"

My feet stayed glued to the floor. I was getting redder. How was that possible? Gaara looked at me with eyes that I could only describe as... satisfied. Oh. My gut feeling. Looks like I was the one that was messed with this time.  
"Gaara! You!... You!... You are a very good actor you know that?" I half grinned and half glared at him. "You knew what I was talking about all along! You only acted like you didn't so that you could... I dunno... Embarrass me? Why? It worked... Say... Who told you about _it_?"  
"Shukaku." Gaara said the word as if we were purely discussing the current weather. Damn his self control.  
I was hesitating between hitting him on the head for messing with me or chuckling.  
Of course, I chose the latter.

I laughed nervously. My face was probably the color and heat of volcanic lava. The fact that Gaara was staring intensely at me burning face wasn't helping much either.  
"Himeko-chan... Do you have fever? Are you sick?" I thought that I had heard genuine concern in his voice. Was this really Gaara? I sure hoped so, because there is no way that I'm re-doing this conversation with the real one if he isn't.  
But, damn it! Fever? Who actually had fever when they blush? Was this guy really that dense? Or was he blind? Couldn't he see the way I looked at him with only adoration in my eyes?  
Sick. He thought that I was sick. Let him think that. Oh, Gaara of the Desert...  
"...you are such a _boy. _Yes, let's say that I have fever! Standing under that raincloud gave me hypothermia! That is why I'm red! I wasn't blushing! No way! Why would I do something as weird as blushing? It's not like I... like I..."

_It's not like I'm totally in love with you..._I felt something in my heart twinging. In love... Yes, that sums up exactly how I feel... No longer fangirl admiration... Love... Falling in love... with Gaara.  
Damn my heart to hell. Why did it make me fall in love the one person in this world who despises love? I sighed out loud. I knew why. It's because Gaara is amazing, strong, brave and hot on the surface. Deeper than that, he is kind, caring, adorable... But even _he_ doesn't know that yet. Dense...  
I slam both of my hands onto my face. After a few seconds, I peek through my fingers. Gaara is still staring at me with total coldness/confusion. I sigh again and smile at him.  
"C'mon Gaara-kun! Let's join the others so that I have to force myself to calm down! Or else... I feel like I'm gonna cry." I say everything with a smile. His eyes reflect his alarm. His shock.  
Damn his beautiful eyes.

I force myself to look away from them. It's hard. I'm in love with his eyes too.  
I mentally hum a happy song to myself. After a few seconds, my cheerful side returns.  
I grab Gaara's hand with a grin and pull him along as I skip back to my genin friends. His hand feels so warm... No! Focus on keeping that smile up Himeko! There! Perfect!  
Once we were surrounded by people again, I reluctantly let go of his hand. I force myself not to look at him. Not right now. Because if I do, I'm going to start blushing again. Then I might pass out, like Hinata. I stick my tongue out at Sasuke when I pass him. His stares wide eyed into space.

"Yuuki! You are dead meat!" I call out joyfully at my cousin, who is staring in amazement from Gaara to me. She can't believe that I actually did the Dare.  
"Himeko! You are now my official idol! Surviving a thing like that..." Ryo cut Yuuki off. He does know me much better that her.  
"Yuu-chan... Congratulate Himeko-chan another time... She doesn't look too good right now."  
My cousin stares from my cheerful smile to Gaara, who is now standing silently with his siblings. She sighs.  
"I have no idea what you are thinking, but cheer up! A funny Himeko is awesome, a pissed off Himeko is hilarious, but a internally sad Himeko is plain freaky!"  
I chuckle. Yuuki is never going to change. I guess that that is sort of a good thing.

_Poof! _Someone appears in a puff of smoke. When it clears, Anko is standing there with a rare serious expression.  
"Alright you maggots! Get ready to start the next part of the chuunin selection exam! This is a training ground. But, we like to call it... The Forest of Death!"

...

**End! Finally! This is my longest chapter ever as a sorry for making this my longest update time ever!**  
**EVERYBODY GIVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO MY BETA! Without him, I probably would still be staring off into space! Thank you martinlitre for helping out and reminding me why I love to write this fanfic! I like making people laugh and smile!**  
**God, I know that I don't deserve it, but pleaaase review! I'm evil!**  
**My reviewers up to date are: demon of the heart and mind, sasunaru4evar, LittleMiniGaara, Lunabell08, Nectarine Nightshine, saku123, bloodshadows, ArisonxGaara, Totally CRAZY and Hyper, leogirl321, Xx-im-da-lonely-emo-girl-xX, Suezanne, Drakloverxpsycho, pink-pajamas12, kitsuneXXnoXXkyuubi102, ProfilingXCSIXMyXCareer, Dawnstep, forever-sweet, piixmiin and dreamingofmagic.**  
**Thank you all! Thank you leogirl321 for giving me the awkward conversation idea!**  
**XOXO~~~HimekoUchia**


	14. Scrolls, Exams and Unimportant Ninja

**OK so my beta has encouraged me to post this, so I will!**  
**The last chapter, for some reason, made people sad... Well, this one is to make you laugh and/or not laugh!  
****I was wondering if I should make my disclaimers a little like this:**  
**HimekoUchia: I own Naruto lalalala!**  
**Gaara: No, you don't.**  
**HimekoUchia: Yes, I do! I 'own' you too! Hehehe!**  
**Gaara: ...You are creepy.**  
**Ryo: HimekoUchia doesn't own Naruto people!**  
**HimekoUchia: Shhhh! That was a secret Ryo!**  
**Hinata: Shut up and write!**  
**HimekoUchia, Ryo, Gaara: ...O.O**

**...**

_Last Chapter:_

_Poof! Someone appears in a puff of smoke. When it clears, Anko is standing there with a rare serious expression._  
_"Alright you maggots! Get ready to start the next part of the chuunin selection exam! This is a training ground. But, we like to call it... The Forest of Death!"_

...

Complete silence roamed the clearing. We could hear every small sound. The rustle of leaves in the wind, everyone's shocked breathing, a chirping bird, a cricket. But mostly silence.  
"...Pffffffff... HAHAHAHAHA!"  
My team and I started laughing like deranged maniacs, making everyone stare (or glare in Anko's case, since we just ruined her cool moment) at us.  
Our giggling went on for a good minute of two.

When, we calmed down, we grinned at Anko, then avoided the hundred or so dango sticks thrown our way.  
"You think that this is a game?" she growled through her teeth.  
"Nope! This is dead serious and all, but... It was too tempting to break the silence. Sorry." laughed Yuuki.  
"This is not a joke. You will soon find out why this is called the Forest of Death!" shouted the examiner.

_"You will soon find out why this is called the Forest of Death!" _mimicked Naruto, doing an extremely embarrassing dance.  
Just as expected, a kunai sliced by his face, making the poor dumb-ass quiver as Anko licked up his blood. Ew. That is just wrong.  
Yuuki abruptly turns away from the scene. I suddenly remember that she hates blood, especially when it's from a knife wound.  
Anko said something about Naruto's delicious bleeding then Orochimaru disguised as a grass-nin handed her kunai back to her... with his tongue.  
"Is it me, or is there something with ninjas and... tongues... and saliva... and licking? Now, that sounded dirty..." I wonder out loud, getting a few chuckles left and right.

Orochimaru and Anko had a little mushy gushy loving talk about blood and killing like in the good old times before the impostor walked back into the crowd of genins, past my team.  
At that moment, I did something that I could never regret doing in my now probably short living time.  
I stuck my foot out.

And Orochimaru fell to the floor with a satisfying thunk.

This time, the silence and tension was so thick that I could really have used a chainsaw right about now.  
In slow motion, the disguised snake sanin got off the floor and hissed in a creepy/gay/pedophile voice:  
"_Who_ _dared_?"  
"SHE DID IT!" Yelled Ryo, Yuuki and I, pointing at each other in a triangle, making Orochimaru glare menacingly at us. Ouch. He is one of the only people to freak me out. But, hey! If you do human experimenting and go after little boys, you are bound to get tripped up publicly by some teen! That is a very famous proverb about karma!... I think.  
"_You will pay brats... Watch out in the forest... I will come after you..._"  
Ryo and I shivered slightly, but kept a straight face. But... Yuuki...  
"Oh my god! It's a date then?" she giggled.

The creepy ninja's eyes widened in shock. I wanted to laugh and congratulate my cousin, but I also wanted to slap her.  
"_Are you mocking me?_" hissed Orochimaru.  
"Yes!" chorused my entire team.  
I'm pretty sure that is this dude was one of those hot-tempered people, we would be roasting over some fire right now.  
Thankfully, Orochimaru liked to take things slowly. Painfully slowly. I'm talking about, slow like a teenage boy who is afraid of holding hands with his girlfriend even after a dozen dates. That type of slow. I mean, he patiently waits for Sasuke for, like, a couple months?  
So, yes, we didn't die at that moment. I guess that we were safe with our shield thingies anyway. But a girl my age doesn't deal well with near death experiences either.

"_Just you wait and see... You will be sorry._" he said threateningly and stomped... no, _slithered_ away.  
After a the few seconds it took for the intimidated effect to wear off, Ryo growled and glared at my cousin and I.  
"Sometimes, I have the feeling that I'm the only sane one here!" he fumed.  
We both just grinned and looked sheepishly at him.

Our attention was drawn back to Anko as she cleared her throat loudly and the people who were staring at us looked at her as well.  
"OK, enough you maggots! Listen up, because I won't say it twice! I will need you to sign these sheets..."  
I tuned the jonin out after that. I mean, I'm tired of hearing all these... rules over and over again. I knew the stuff she was saying anyway.  
"Not responsible... gates... scrolls... tower... death... forest... disqualify... die... scroll... survival... die..." Those were the keywords I picked out.  
I ignore the gasping and shock whenever the examiner said something concerning the fate of the genins. I just stared as discreetly as I could at Gaara.  
I sighed. He was a frigging murderer. An awesome frigging murderer. An adorable, awesome, hot, sweet and cool frigging murderer. I just couldn't imagine this... boy... being hated, or killing...  
I looked away when he caught me staring. Twice. Damn it, I'm not good at passing unnoticed.

I crashed head first out of my cloud when Sasuke shoved a pile of paper into my hands.  
"Take one and pass it along." he said.  
I smiled a little and did as he told me. I looked down at the sheet between my hands and signed the permission form. Ya know, the one that says that it isn't the proctors' responsibility if we die even if this entire crazy exam was their idea in the first place. Yeah, that permission from.  
I wrote my name, with a pen that came out of nowhere, in my prettiest, fake Japanese writing. And I added a little swirl and heart at the end. I dunno if that is proper to do on your, um, life and death paper but who cares. It's not like anything is gonna happen to me... With that mentally activated shield... and awesome powers and such.

"Are you... OK?"  
I looked up and saw Sasuke staring at me. If it wasn't for the fact that impossible _is _actually in the English dictionary, I would have said that he looked... worried.  
"Yup! I'm fine! Why are you asking?" I ask cheerfully.  
He stares at me for a moment before removing the completely bent out of recognition pen out of my hands. I blink at it for a moment. I have got to focus on what my hands are doing sometimes.  
"Woah... I didn't know that I was doing that... Damn it, poor pen... Oops, sorry, was it your's?" I shift guiltily as Sasuke nods and looks at the remains of his perfectly good writing instrument that I had just unknowingly killed.  
I sighed and put my hands together in a prayer.  
"Rest in pieces dearest pen. Your life was short. I am dreadfully sorry for committing your murder. May your soul be forgiven for all swear words you wrote and may the heavens forgive my unforgivable act. Thanks in advance." I say in one breath.

The Uchiha still doesn't seem satisfied.  
"You don't look so good Himeko-san." he says, poking further into my business.  
I raise an eyebrow at him.  
"What? Don't I normally say humorous run-on sentences or what?" I ask putting both my hands on my hips and shifting my weight to one leg.  
"Maybe, but... You didn't smile this time... Look...I'm sorry for making you do that Dare." he replies, locking eyes with me for a moment. I can practically hear my 'impossible' filled balloon deflate. I guess everything is possible if Sasuke Uchiha just said something really nice.  
My face splits into a huge grin and I resist the urge to glomp him.  
"You know what Uchiha? I think that I was wrong about you. You are pretty cool I guess. I'm fine, really. Actually, thanks to your Dare, I found out two very interesting things!" I hold up two fingers and wave them from side to side.  
"Hn?" he looks sorta confuses. "What?"  
Well, first, Gaara knows what 'it' is, so he is therefore now considered as a teen with... um... knowledge.  
And two, I love him because he just looks so amazing simply standing there.

"Not telling!" I giggle and skip over to the counter to join my team and exchange my permission form for a scroll and a gate number.

...

"AHHHH! Why the hell is gate 36 so damn far away from where we were? There aren't even any important people around here!" whines Yuuki.  
Ryo and I sigh at her childish trauma.  
"The forest is twenty kilometers in diameters! What did you expect? Plus, we only ran for about ten minutes or so." states the only guy on my team.  
"Yeah, and according to my handy 'Everything about Naruto' book here, we are sandwiched between a Sand Team led by a dude called Masago who has the Heaven scroll and a Rain Team led by Yudachi who has an earth scroll. So I guess the plan is beat up the Sand Team, get their Heaven scroll that matches so well with our Earth one!" I shut my small book and seal it back into my scroll... the one I carry around that has everything that I need in it.

"OK, then what? I do not want to have Orochimaru hot on our trails because _somebody _pissed him off! That dude seriously freaks me off!" grumbled Ryo, glaring at my cousin and I.  
"Oh, don't worry about that! I have a plan that will keep him away." I wink at him.  
"Oooh... Miss-know-it-all are you? I thought that you liked Gaara, but I guess not..." said Yuuki.  
Ryo and I blinked in confusion. What did that have to do with anything?

"Ne, Yuu-chan? What the hell are you talking about? Duh I like Gaara! Are you blind?" I snap at her. She giggles annoyingly and puts her hands under her chin.  
"Hmm... Maybe, but you seemed _very _interested in Sasuke Uchiha just a moment ago."

My jaw pops open.  
"Damn, where did you get that from? I was grieving for the loss of his pen! Do you have to be a bitch about everything?" I growl at her. She laughs and twirls around, making her skirt spin.  
"A bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on a tree. Tree is nature. And Nature is BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for the compliment... man-eater!"  
My eyes widen and I don't know how I resist punching her in the face.  
"Well then... A man-eater is a whore. A whore is a ho. A hoe is an instrument. An instrument is a weapon and weapons ARE COOL! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" I yell into her face.  
Ryo and Yuuki both take a little step back.  
"Never heard that one before..." mumbles the chuunin who accompanied us to the gate so that he could open it later.

To be very honest, I completely forgot about his existence.  
"Oh... Sorry that you had to listen to our arguing." I blush and bow in apology.  
"Nah... I've heard worse. Don't worry." He smiles. I have a feeling that I know that voice, but I don't remember seeing him around. There are way to many characters in Naruto for me to remember all their names.

"Awwww... Looky here, the monster lover!"

I snap my head around and see the unimportant Suna Team number two arriving at the gate next to ours. It takes a moment for what they said to register. When it does, I feel like ripping his limbs off.  
"What. Did. You. Just. Call. Him?" I glare daggers at them. Their eyes widen in shock at my expression and they step back a little.  
In their team is a short dude with brown hair, a really tall guy with black hair and the dude who spoke, who I am guessing is Masago the team leader, has really dark blond hair. They look about 17, not in the least bit attractive. And I don't think that I'm gonna get along much with these Gaara-haters.

"You heard me. Anyways, how can someone like you be interested in that spoiled demon?" says Masago.  
"Gaara is_ not _a demon. And what the hell do you mean... someone like me? How do you guys know any of this stuff anyway?" I spit at them. In my head, I am stabbing them over and over again with my imaginary pitchfork.  
Masago laughed humorlessly.  
"You were pretty loud in the examination room yesterday. We heard all that stuff you said about the monster. You drew quite a lot of attention to yourself, so it came to our notice that, well, you girl, should forget about that little brat and be interested in some _real guys_." he replied. I had a feeling that, by 'real guys', he didn't mean Kakashi.  
I am now mentally burning this bastard alive... on a pitchfork. With rotten tomatoes getting thrown his way. This dude cannot be serious. Why me?  
"Shut up about Gaara. He isn't a br... OK maybe he can be one sometimes, but he is not a monster or demon. He is a young genin with red hair, amazing abs and with a lot of character. You, however, are a total asshole who hits on girls like a pedophile. Don't you dare compare someone like Gaara to someone like you, you boring dickhead."

Masago reaches for his wooden pole (who the hell uses that as a weapon in battle?), glaring furiously at me. He is about to say something when the two chuunins guarding us click open the doors.  
"You can start now guys!" they shout, clearly relieved to get rid of us noisy kiddos.

Team Suna Stupids jumps straight into the forest, clearly hoping that the will attack us right away for insulting them.  
But my Team and I are young and we have all the sweet time in the world.  
So we calmly walk in.  
"Now that you pissed them off, they will come after us. We don't even have to track them down to take their scroll. Good job." says Ryo, taking his ginormous shuriken off his back. Yuuki does the same with her fan and I grab my katana.  
We skip off into the trees where, as expected, Masago and his goons are waiting for us. They grin savagely when they see us.  
"Listen up you bitch. One of us will leave with the other's scroll. Nice weapons you've got there. Can they do this?" The ninja swishes his pole at a huge branch, which cracks off. Damn. I look at him straight in the eyes.  
"Useless brains you've got there. Can they do this?" My Team and I unleash the full power of our 'push images in someones mind' move. We push a complete and utter blank into their head. And, with nothing in their mind, they freeze on spot and stop everything they were doing. Even blinking.  
"Quick! Grab their scroll and let's get outta here!" I yell. Yuuki dives into Masago's pouch and snags his Heaven scroll. We laugh evilly and turn to leave.

Just before we disappear into the trees, I stop and walk back to Masago.  
"Himeko-chan... What are you..." Ryo gets cut off when I kick the Sand genin in the... ahem, reproductive system.  
"That ought to teach you about not insulting Gaara-kun! I hope you enjoy your failure at becoming a chuunin. Or even passing this test. Or being able to walk for about three days." When I finish my rant, I grab my friends' hand and pull them into the trees.  
"RUN LIKE HELL!" I shout, running like a maniac before the three Suna-nins snap out of it.

Whilst up in the trees, hopping from branch to branch like ninja pros, Ryo shouts out to us.  
"Why couldn't we have used our bad ass weapons to beat them up!" he says. I roll my eyes.  
"Dude! You know that Yuuki has hemophobia! We can't slice them up!" I holler back at him.  
"That's not it! I just really, _really _hate blood! I'm not scared of needles as long as I don't get poked with one. I'm fine with one little drop of blood... if I don't look at it, and if it isn't gushing out of a wound or a hacked off limb!" yells Yuuki.  
I shudder at that though. I guess that I don't really plan on ripping off arms and legs either. I'm pretty sure Ryo agrees, because he isn't insisting on using weapons anymore.

We are traveling on different levels. Yuuki is about two branches higher than me, and Ryo is closer to the forest floor. If we hop at the same time, people can't tell that we are three unless they are, like... ninjas. Oh. Right. I guess traveling like this makes it easier to avoid troubles, or escape them and defend ourselves.

After a few more minutes of silence, Ryo asks me a question.  
"So... How are we avoiding Orochimaru right now? I'm telling you, the stuff he does really isn't sane..."  
"Right now, I am leading us towards Gaara's team. I managed to pick up a few of his thoughts in this direction. I'm pretty sure that Orochimaru is way to obsessed in Sasuke right now feel like crossing the Sand Sib's path anyway. If we stay a bit behind them and hide ourselves from them then they won't catch us but we can make sure that others know that coming our way is suicide." I explain. If there is anybody that even Orochimaru doesn't really want to be entangled with, it's Gaara. Or Itachi, but that isn't going to help us now.

"You picked up his thoughts? What was he thinking?" says Yuuki curiously, looking down at me. I just shrug.  
"Something about Kankuro being an 'annoying punk-ass that really needs to go' and Temari's fan being 'shiny'. I mostly recognized his mental voice though."  
My team chuckles at Gaara's thoughts and continue following me.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, comes crashing Zaku.  
I scream out in panic and punch him in the face whilst running by, before he even has the chance to lift a finger.  
The trees continue to blur around me and I can hear the Sound-nin swearing like a sailor far, far behind.  
"What the hell was that?" shouts Ryo, since he can't look up at me without smushing up against a tree like pizza.  
"Nothing. It was just a strange looking animal." I yell back.  
"A strange looking talking animal?" he hollers.  
"Yeah! Go figure!" I reply. He shrugs and we continue our hopping.

After half an hour of traveling and no further 'animal' attacks, I sense that Gaara is close by.  
"Stop!"  
My team joins me on my branch and we sit down in a circle.  
"So... the Sand Team is somewhere up ahead. Make sure that you aren't spotted and, most importantly, avoid all over-sized centipedes or insects. And make sure that you don't drop the scrolls by accident, because that would just be really, really stupid." Ryo nods in agreement.  
"I'm hungry." says Yuuki

I sigh and grab my scroll (not the exam ones) and summon some chocolate chip cookies. I toss Ryo a can of Coke and throw one full force at Yuuki's head, but she catches it anyway.  
I pop open my can and take a sip of the sweet, familiar drink.  
"I could really do with a Double Cheese Burger and a McDonald's ice-cream right about now..." mumbles Yuuki, chewing a cookie.  
"Good luck finding a fast food restaurant in the middle of the Forest of Death." growls Ryo, clearly annoyed with her complaining.  
My cousin pouts and finished her food.

When everyone is done, I seal everything back into my super handy scroll.  
"We can't leave any traces of our passing. I hope that no one with supreme sense of smell picked up our sent. I really don't want..."  
A trio of ninja jump through the tree with a malicious grin on their lips. Damn. Just great.  
"..._that_ to happen." I sigh.  
My team disables the genin's movements and start running at full speed into the trees.

"Himeko-chan... I was wondering..." starts Ryo.  
"Yeah, what?" I say.  
"Why don't we just teleport to the tower? Wouldn't that be fast and safer?" He asks.  
"That would be a phenomenal idea. Except for the fact that I would probably end up teleporting us to the bottom of a river or something. I don't even know which way the tower is anymore. Following the Sand Team would be our best chance. Plus, most smart ninja avoid Gaara like the plague." I answer.  
"So are you saying that you aren't smart?" smirks Yuuki. I roll my eyes.  
"I said 'smart _ninja_'. Just because we can do jutsu doesn't make us official ninja. Plus, I couldn't avoid him like that. Even if that makes me dumb." I grin a little, currently in my Gaara-worshipper trance.

After even more running, we end up on the right track but put a fair about of distance between the Sand Team and us.  
I was right, because we aren't disturbed for a good half hour of traveling, even with our occasional short breaks. I guess that we aren't as endurant as those ninja psychos. We, unlike them, weren't trained since birth to be running in tree for hours on end.  
Suddenly, the Sand Sibs stop moving.

My team and I send each other inquisitive glances, and we slow down a bit.  
After ten more minutes, we are directly behind them, with no safe distance, but whatever.  
We crouch behind branches as silently as we can.  
"What do you think the hold up is?" whispers Yuuki.  
"No idea. Scroll? Let's check." I whisper back, pushing leaves aside so that my friends and I can see everything going on without getting spotted.

I see a clearing with six people in it. Gaara's team and a bunch of genins. I am totally and completely confused, until I hear something that makes me instantly regret looking through the branches.  
"You made it rain needles? _I'll make it rain blood instead!_"  
Holy shit. Oh, no.

...

**More suspense! I'm so evil!**  
**The 'Everything about Naruto' hand book is actually the Anime profiles for the... um, anime, duh. There is a lot of useful and useless information in there.**  
**I hope that you enjoy reading this! And that you press that magical button at the bottom of the page!**  
**Thank you dear reviewers! You guys know who you are!**  
**Oh, and yeah. Vote on my poll, check out my other stories, all that blah. My beta and I are starting school again in a few days, so bare with me if I can't update as frequently! Not that I'm a very fast writer in the first place... Sorry about that *guilty eyes*.**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	15. Delayed Reactions and Deodorant

**OK! I was writing a chapter for my _other_ story but I got hit by a brick wall right in the face! Yes, the wall hit me, not the other way around. I don't actually _want_to walk into a wall and bash my face and/or get my writing mojo blocked so I'm just gonna blame the mind. Whoah, that's a lot of writing about author's block.  
Thank very much to all my reader and reviewers! Thanks to you, my stories have gone from the abandoned little writing in the corner to an actual fanfiction, that gets a fair amount of reviews and it makes me HAPPY :).  
****Ryo: Don't forget the disclaimer!  
HimekoUchia: What ****disclaimer****? I own Naruto!  
Hinata, Yuuki and a bunch of lawyers: throws pointy objects at me  
HimekoUchia: AHHHH! Just kidding! I do not own Naruto! I don't even have a bank account!**

…

_Last Chapter:  
_  
_I see a clearing with six people in it. Gaara's team and a bunch of genins. I am totally and completely confused, until I hear something that makes me instantly regret looking through the branches._

_"You made it rain needles? I'll make it rain blood instead!"_  
_Holy shit. Oh, no._

...

My friends and I froze on spot just like Hinata's team had done. If you were looking at a man trapped in a huge floating sand cocoon, you would be pretty shocked too.  
I have watched and read this scene a good hundred thousand times, but seeing it and hearing the crunching of the guy's bones made me want to scream bloody murder.  
But since I was frozen and unable to say anything, all that came out was a small gasp. I couldn't believe that Gaara, the guy that let me slap him across the face, shared mochis with, played unappropriated games with, stuck a piece of paper in his back and hung out with/stalked for the past week just turned a human being into tomato sauce.

Blood sprayed everywhere, and all I could think was 'Holy Jashin. Murder. This is not happening.'  
Then, Gaara enveloped the two other dudes in sand and smooshed them to nothingness as more blood spurted everywhere.

Suddenly, a strangled choking noise came from beside me.

Ryo and I snapped out of our trance and saw Yuuki. She was a white as paper and she was eyeing all the red liquid with horror, her entire frame shaking like a leaf. Fear of blood. Three men just crushed into a pulp. Oh,no.  
"Yuuki! Calm down!" I shouted at her. She slowly turned to me and I cringed at her wide, terrified eyes.  
"...B... B-bl... B-bloo... Bl-blood..." Was all she managed to say before she started yelling.  
Her screams of pure fear echoed around the clearing as she clenched the sides of her head and bent over, breathing heavily between shouts.

"Yuuki! Please! You have to calm down!" hollered Ryo, grabbing onto her arm to try to keep her from thrashing around in panic.  
What could I do? I suddenly got an idea. I placed a hand on Yuuki's forehead and pushed in soothing, drowsing images of seaside villas and clouds.  
She blinked and slowly started breathing a bit more normally again. But, before I could react, she closed her eyes and fainted.  
It was at that moment that I remembered that we were sitting high up in a tree.

I gasped in panic as she slowly slid off the branch and started falling towards the forest floor. I teleported and Ryo jumped down and caught her before she could bash herself head first onto the ground.

Both of us froze in that position, holding our teammate's unconscious body.  
When I lifted my head in slow motion, the first thing that caught my attention was Gaara's blood red hair. On his face was an evil, crazed, twisted smile. The very same one he had when I had asked him about his teddy bear. I wasn't too sure if I was afraid or if I wanted to laugh at the memory.

When I looked into his wide, pale eyes, for some strange reason, I refused to look away. I nearly forgot that he had just murdered three people a moment ago. This was _Gaara_. I wasn't going to ditch him just because he was half possessed by Shukaku or bloodthirsty, even if those were acceptable reasons. I knew that slapping him would probably snap him out of it, but my conscience told me not to so, and I trust my Jiminy Cricket.  
He stared right back at me with his scary eyes, and we silently engaged in a stare-down. In a few seconds, I could feel myself weakening in the gaze of Shukaku. It was not that easy to stop myself from flinching under his scrutinizing eyes. The only way I can even resist is by turning my stare to a full on dagger-throwing glare.

And it worked. Gaara blinked and kept his eyes closed for a few seconds. When he opened them again, his eyes were back to their sea green state. After a moment, he snapped his head up and looked straight at me. His eyes were filled will blankness, but I could feel a tinge of panic and confusion in there. I stopped glaring at the boy and just... looked at him.  
I gulped as I _now _remembered that this young, adorable teen is a psycho murderer. And that I had just witnessed him killing three people. And that it was really, really gross. I held my two teammates closer to me. Yuuki was still very much out cold and Ryo was simply staring wide eyed into thin air.

Gaara didn't kill us, and I was thankful for that. But the silence was so long and awkward and you know that I hate those, and I acted on impulse even in this extremely dangerous situation.  
"I like cookies!" came out of my mouth before the phrase even managed to pass through my head for inspection regarding whether it was a good time to say it or not.  
Kankuro started chuckling.

We all stopped our awkwardness and all looked at him (minus Yuuki, who was out cold).  
When he stopped laughing, he answered out curious (angry in Gaara's case) gazes with a huge grin.  
"Sorry. I just remembered that 'I like cookies' was written on a sign and taped to Gaara's back that one time. And, also... You guys reacted pretty well to a murder witness, especially since Gaara is the one who crushed that guy to..."  
"Shut up Kankuro!" growled Gaara, cutting him off. The red headed boy sent him a glare that probably made his underwear freeze in fear.

I've got to say, I had no idea what this was about anymore. So Gaara-kun murdered three not-so-innocent ninja, had a freaky glare-down with me, lost, got over it and was now getting all mad again because Kankuro laughed? What the hell?  
And why was I not running away screaming from these three ninjas, who have just shown me the true meaning of being in this world? Was it because...  
Images of a Gaara with the smallest of smiles on his lips invaded my mind. He really does look amazing when he is happy. He looked so adorable and childish, and it made him ever-so good looking.

I started chuckling humorlessly. Temari raised an eyebrow and looked at me with slightly concerned eyes.  
"Himeko-chan... Are you OK?" she asked taking a step towards me slowly raising her arm to place it on my shoulder. I can tell that she thinks that I'm finally going into delayed shock or that I'm going to turn crazy and start calling all of them sick monsters. I shake my head vigorously.  
"I just... I just suck." I half whisper. "I suck so bad. I really, really suck. I can't believe this. Why? Damn it... I'm a complete idiot... Who sucks."

I feel like screaming. Why is it that whenever I think of Gaara, I can only see his beautiful, kind side, even right after I witnessed him killing people? For a moment, I am freaked out by myself. Am I blind, or am I crazy? Or both? I know that this red headed boy is a psychopathic assassin, but why... Do I still act as if he is so damn perfect in every way?  
Because Gaara isn't perfect. Nobody is. He is dark, but so bright. Evil, yet so kind. Alone, yet surrounded by people such as his siblings and me, who don't hate him. Gaara isn't perfect at all, but that is what makes him so perfect to me.

"I am so screwed up in the head. If you guys could read my mind, you would understand." I sigh and slap both sides of my face with my hands, dramatically letting out a groan of frustration. "Oh, whatever. You guys got your scroll. Awesome. See you at the finish line. Ryo and I need to revive our friend now."  
I smile at the three ninjas, wave at them and proceed to drag the still-a-little frozen male member of my squad who is carrying Yuuki out of the clearing.

Temari waves back and Kankuro does too. Gaara just looks at me walk out of the clearing, with a look that I can't really understand. Almost like he really wants to say something, but won't or can't be bothered to. I smile again at him, turn around and walk into the forest before being able to change my mind, spin around and glomp the jinchuuriki.  
Yes, even after what happened, I still feel those fangirly/worshiper urges. Curses.

When we are far enough from the ninjas, I indicate Ryo to stop and breath. He comes crashing back down to reality.  
"Oh my mother-f-ing god! Did you see how Gaara just squished those dudes to death? It was so sick! It wasn't the least bit cool to actually watch it happen! It seemed so much less gross in the manga! Oh my god..." he moaned and groaned for a few minutes. I let him get it out of his system, since I wanted to do the exact same, but my need to yell had slightly diminished.

Whilst Ryo kept ranting, I shifted my mind back to the clearing. The Sand sibs had left already and I made sure to keep a mental track of their locations. Then, I moved my mind around a bit. No body else was there. I felt relieved. This meant that Kiba, Shino and Hinata had managed to get away safely without getting noticed.

"...and then the blood splattered everywhere and... Himeko-chan! Aren't you even listening to me!" yelled Ryo into my face, grabbing the front of my shirt, still half hysteric. I glare and smack him on the shoulder, pushing him away.  
"I can hear you fine Ryo! I saw the same thing as you! And so did Yuu-chan!" I snap at him. The last part makes both of us remember what our priorities are.

We rush over to our friend who is lying against a tree, looking peaceful yet tense. I almost don't want to wake her up, but Ryo isn't the type to hold back much. He started shaking Yuuki roughly yelling incomprehensible words into her ear.

Her eyes snapped open and she threw a punch at him. She missed by only a millimeter.  
"Ahhhh! What the hell man!" she shrieked and tried to hit him again. "That's not how yours supposed to wake up an unconscious person!"  
"I'm sorry! Stop! Ah!" hollered Ryo, who seemed to be engaged in some sort of dance called 'avoid-the-girl's-face-smashing-punches'. Then, Ryo lets out a hoot of laughter and Yuuki giggles, and they continued trying to hit each other.  
I stare in awe at them.

"Guys..."  
They both stop and stare at me, grinning wildly.  
"Yes?" they chorus at the same time. I think that the murder witness must have messed them up more that I thought.  
"Are you two OK? I mean... We just saw..." I can't finish the sentence. Yuuki now looks a little less hyper.  
"Oh, yeah. I can't remember it well... I just remember the blood. And nearly falling off a tree... What happened afterwords?" she asks. Ryo blinks and answers.  
"Surprisingly, nothing. I thought that he was going to kill us for a moment there, but Himeko-chan started yelling at herself and they let us leave... It wasn't so bad."

My eyes practically pop out of their sockets and my jaw nearly detaches itself. I wanted to say: "What the hell people! Gaara just killed someone! This is your delayed reaction? What is wrong with you? We could have died!" but in my shock, all that came out was:  
"Wa... da... hell?"

Ryo and Yuuki glanced nervously at each other then at me, like if I were some weird looking plant.  
"Do you think that she is OK?" whispers Yuuki, looking concern. Ryo just shrugs and stares some more at me.  
"Yeah. I think that all that popcorn has finally gotten to her brain." he states, nodding to himself as if he has just made the medical discovery of the decade. "Um... Himeko-chan? Not wanting to stress you out of anything, but I don't want any other ninjas to find us and turn us into meaty tofu. Should we get a going?"

I sigh and we move into position. Then we are off, tracking down the Sand Sibs, this time making sure that we do _not_ confront them again.

...

"The coast is clear!" I shout, jumping down from the tree. I land on the forest floor with a soft thud. I double-check to make sure that nobody is in sight and that we are completely alone. We are.  
The Sand Sibs have entered the tower a couple hours ago and Team Kurenai has just gone in. This was good, so that we didn't get too much attention from Anko when she sees us come in extremely early compared to previous people. We need to be more stealthy and blend in more. Oh, and about that.

"Guys... DIRT FIGHT!" I yell, grabbing a handful of earth and flinging it at Ryo. He gasps when he gets hit in the chest. His eyes widen and he bends over to take some soil into his palm.  
In a few seconds, all three of are throwing dirt at each other.  
After a few minutes, we look like Chewbacca.

Ryo chuckled and shakes some sand out of his hair.  
"Apart from fun and completely stupid, what was that for?"  
I laugh out loud and take a leaf out of my bra.  
"So that the jonins monitoring the tower think that we must have battled to get here, and not have just breezed in, like Gaara's team did. Remember the whole scene with Anko saying that it was creepy how he didn't even have a speck of dust on his clothes?" I explain.

Both my teammates nod and we walk towards one of the doors of the huge tower. We push it open and enter a really big room with mini balconies on the sides and staircases leading up to them. Must be one of the training halls.  
We all spot the Japanese writing on the wall, but, the smart kiddos we are, we turn around and ignore it. "Just open both scrolls at the same time and we're good. I wonder who is coming to greet us?" pondered Yuuki out loud. I was thinking of that too.

Ryo grabbed one of the two scrolls and I took the other. I breathed in, nervous and excited at the same time.  
"One... Two... ACHOO!" I fake sneeze. Both of my friend glare at me. I chuckle.  
"Whoops... Sorry, I couldn't resist. OK, for real. One, two, three!"

We both pull the scrolls open and throw them into a far corner of the room as they start emitting smoke.  
_Poof!_ A familiar looking dude appears. We stare at him. He stares back at us. I suddenly remember.  
"Hey! You were that guy that opened Team Masago Stupid's door! Hi!" I smile brightly at him. He quirks his eyebrow at me, grins and does a sort of one handed salute.  
"Oh yeah... My colleague was in charge of you three. I'm glad to see that you made it through! Congratulations! But you will have to wait for five days for the next part of the exam though."

"Oh, that's cool. We will have time to relax a bit then!" I say cheerfully. He nods and leads us towards a door on our right. He walks around the tower showing us around. I make a mental note of where all things are.  
"This is the kitchen. You can find food here."  
"Around here is the library."  
"A common room is behind that door."  
"This is the bathhouse. This is where you can..."  
"A BATHHOUSE! Awesome!" Yuuki and I squeal at the same time, hugging each other and jumping up and down like deranged kangaroos.

Ryo and the ninja look at each other and share an eye-roll that clearly means 'Girls...'  
After another hour of touring, we find out that there is an outdoor and indoor training ground with targets and stuff in them, 3 public toilets, an information counter (which is completely deserted), a controller room that is 'out-of-bounds', an infirmary for minor injuries, a laundry room, the proctor's, sensei's and adult's floor and a student's floor with a huge staircase that leads to a gigantic balcony that opens to the entire view of the Forest of Death.

"Is their a gift shop somewhere?" asked Yuuki. We all give her a weird look.  
"Um... Unfortunately, no. Oh... Wait. You guys will have to wait here for some time whilst we get your room numbers. Since we haven't been expecting three genin teams to finish this test so early, so we weren't very prepared." He gestures to a sliding door with a red sign stuck to it. It says something, but it's in Japanese, so I couldn't read it well.

The chuunin waves, leaves and lets us enter on our own. We salute him and skip into the room.  
My first thought was 'Woah'. This room had enormous pillars supporting it's pretty high ceiling. It was huge! It was dark! It was humid! It was _creepy_...

"Himeko-san!"

I jump a little and turn around. Hinata is sitting with her team on the right side of the room, looking relieved. I then notice the Sand Siblings' silhouette on the left side.  
All six ninjas turn towards my friends and I, and observe our open-mouthed, slow steps, mission impossible/ horror movie mode entrance. I blush and straighten up.

"Oh... Heya peeps! How are things?"

Nobody answers. I then remember something.  
Team Kurenai and my Team both witnessed the Team Baki slaughter fest. And all three of our little groups are here... Without supervision or other people. I now understand the tense atmosphere. This is going to be fun...  
My team sits right in the middle of the room, between the two squads, like a little bridge to peace. Or something like that.

"Hime-chan... I'm going to die of starvation here..." groans Yuuki after ten minutes. I feel my eyebrow twitch, grab my scroll, summon food and shove the jumbo family sized packet of Cheetos into her hands.  
"Here! Happy now? God, you eat more that a pregnant woman! Or Choji! Whoever eats more!" I feel frustrated when as she does in stuff her face whilst I'm lecturing her. "Urg, whatever. Does anybody else want any junk food?" I shout out into the room, my voice bouncing off the walls.

I hear Akamaru bark and Kankuro shouting 'Yes please!'.  
I summon two more huge Cheetos packets and toss one on either side of the room. I hear the slight crunch as both teams catch theirs.  
When throwing it at the Sand Sibs, I turn around just enough to be able to get a good look at Gaara. He is just sitting there, looking out of the minuscule window, that is letting sunlight shine down onto his face. Oh, how cliché. I am waiting for some form of fear to come, but all I can feel are butterflies. In my stomach. A whole lot of butterflies.

I feel like screaming my head off. This is so... unfair. Why does he have to be so freaking amazing? Why do I have to be in love with him? Not even I had those answers.  
I sigh, turn back into my seat and start swinging my legs impatiently, trying to make my blush die down.

"Hey brats! Follow me! And no funny business!" yells a man, walking in the room, causing all of us to look at him.  
His height is average, his hair is dark and he looks _really _mean. I make a mental note to not mess with him. And to make sure that Yuuki doesn't open her trap and get us in trouble.

All of us teens get up and follow the guy out. We all walk wordlessly to the genins' rooms' floor.  
Kankuro, Kiba and Yuuki are all making an unnecessary amount of noise whilst eating their food, but I guess that it's nice to have _some_ noise, since this ninja hasn't even _looked_ at us once. Rude. I think for a second, then slowly open my mouth to speak. He spins around and beats me to it.  
"NO TALKING! Here are your room numbers! You may use any of the Tower's facilities at any times, unless there is a notice restricting entrance. Like the one on the controller room. You even touch the door, and you will be sorry! And, most importantly, you may NOT kill each other until you are told otherwise! UNDERSTOOD?" he barks at us.

Holy Jashin. Who knew that a jonin could have such attitude? Especially that he's a grown man. And that ninjas are supposed to be cooperative and easy to work with and stuff.  
Everybody replied to his shouted question with either a nod, an 'understood, a 'yes' or, in Kankuro's case, an _extremely _loud grunt. I nearly giggle at his dopey grin. Ah... Good old Kankuro... So weird, but so funny and cool.

The jonin gives us a small key each and stomps off. I hold my breath, thinking that he might step to hard, break a plank and fall, spinning to his doom through the series of floorboards until he drops into the kitchen located exactly five floors beneath us.  
But he doesn't. Which sorta sucks.

The Sand Sibs and Team Kurenai both walk to towards their rooms, which are right next to ours. I guess that the earlier we arrive, the closer our room is to the exit. I guess that that is a good thing for some reason.  
Ryo pokes his key into the lock and turns it, opens the door, let's Yuuki and I enter then closes the door behind himself.

I cannot see a damn thing in this pitch black room. I fumble around and find a light switch.  
The room is pretty simple. Three beds, three small shelves, one small table, three chairs and a door leading to the bathroom.  
What turns me off here, however, is the color. Every single thing, minus the bed sheets and light bulb, is made of wood. Dark brown wood. I feel like I'm in a cave.  
I shrug and walk over to the closed windows. I open the shutters and let the warm afternoon air and sunlight slip in. It helped make the room more cozy looking.

"I want this bed!" screams Yuuki, running to the bed closest to the window. Ryo shrugs and places his pouch onto the middle bed. I stand next to the bed closest to the door. I summon _some _food and clothes and place them on my shelf. I then give my friends some things too.  
When I'm sure that I won't be needing the scroll in the next few hours, I put it into my pouch and squeeze the bag under my mattress.

Ryo walks over to the table and places a small calendar on top of it.  
"What day is it today?" I ask.  
"The second of July, I think." He answers.  
I start hanging up a couple posters onto the walls, to make it more homey. Most of them are of the Sand Siblings and Team Seven. Well, as long as we don't get any unwanted visitors, it won't cause me any embarrassment or require any explanation. Yuuki goes on a bug search and Ryo inspects the toilet for anything out of the ordinary.

After half an hour of searching, inspecting and deodorant spraying, the room is squeaky clean, like in advertisements for hotel rooms. It does sort of smell like a mixture of fruit punch, rose fragrance and... Well, Ryo's man deodorant's smell can only be described as a combination of hand sanitizer, gasoline and orange vitamin tablets.  
In other words, this place was now practically perfect to live in.

"Ahhhh... The familiar scent of the school gym's changing room." sighs Ryo, taking an abnormally large breath. I do the same. I choke on the strong smell and my eyes water a bit. I grin.  
"Yep. Definitely a welcome change." I laugh out loud, relishing the scent of the lung polluting aerosols. I'm a complete city girl sometimes.

"Damn it... The dirt on our clothes is falling everywhere... Let's go to the BATHHOUSE guys!" cheers Yuuki, grabbing a change of clothes and other necessities. I squeal a little and snatch up my stuff. We both glare at Ryo until he is ready to exit the room. We all make sure that we have our keys (since being locked outside of our room will mean having to ask that mean-ass jonin for help) and lock the door behind us.

Since the corridors are sort of creepy when they are deserted, we ran all the way instead of walking. After going down to the ground floor, we arrive at our destination: the double sliding doors. Yuuki and I part ways with Ryo, who enters to the right side. My cousin and I skip through the other door, which has the kanji 'female' on it.

…

**Sorry for the long wait guys! I hope that you enjoyed reading the chapter!  
A huge thanks to my reviewers and beta, who are the ones who keep me writing!  
Please review! It would make me happy *batting eyelashes*!  
Peace out!  
~~~XOXO HimekoUchia, authoress, needs more time, too much homework**


	16. Bathhouse Tales: Girl Talk

**Hello cool readers! I am going to write ****and post this ridiculously huge (for me) chapter early, so I will cut it into two parts!**** Yeah! ****I hope that you enjoy reading this! Oh, and if you must know, I was listening to 'Kirby Falcon Punch Remix' in a loop whilst writing and editing most of this chapter, so blame that song if this stuff is weird.  
Oh, yeah and a warning for this chapter: It's not rated T for nothing! Weird and crazy is food to me, so don't freak out! And if you think that some of the characters here are a little OOC, can **_**you**_** act completely normal 24/7? Didn't think so...****  
HimekoUchia: So, I think that all of you should know that...  
Entire Naruto cast, Ryo, Yuuki, Masashi-sama and lawyers: *cracks knuckles, grabs kunai and ****files ****law suits.*  
HimekoUchia: *gulps* ...um... That I do not own Naruto!****  
**

_..._

Last Chapter:

_Since the corridors are sort of creepy when they are deserted, we ran all the way instead of walking. After going down to the ground floor, we arrive at our destination: the double sliding doors. Yuuki and I part ways with Ryo, who enters to the right side. My cousin and I skip through the other door, which has the kanji 'female' on it._

…

We quickly enter the small changing room, shutting the door behind us. Then, we quickly take off our clothes, put them in the provided baskets with our clean stuff and wrap ourselves with our towels.  
"Himeko-chan, look!" gasps Yuuki, pointing to a basket higher up. I panic at her tone, spin around and notice that there are clothes in it. _Girl_ clothes. Thank god.  
"Yeah... Jeez, Yuu-chan, did you have to scare me like that? For a moment there, I thought that you saw a pair of boxers or lots of guy clothes. Or a guy. That would have been pretty freaky, since the sign was clearly 'female'." I sigh, starting to walk towards the showering area. My cousin skips behind me, continuing our conversation.

"But that means that we aren't going to be alone! And you've got to be honest... If those were Gaara's clothes in that basket, you would have probably ran straight into the bath to see him na-..." I cut her off with a growl, blushing.  
"I might be totally obsessed with him, but I'm not a perv that spies on naked people." Though of course, the idea of seeing a couple of hot ninjas was probably worth being called a weirdo. "That's what Jiraiya does. And beside... What if an adult was there? What if _Gai-sensei_ was in there? _Not_ something I want to see!" Both Yuuki and I shiver at that thought. Ew.

We walk into the shower spot and each sit on a stool. And... well... Take a shower. When my cousin and I finish, we excitedly skip over to the baths (being careful not to slip of course).  
We are greeted by a lot of steam. I slowly slide into the hot water, feeling the heat bite my skin, but in a good way. I keep my towel wrapped around my body, and that made the water even more relaxing, since it absorbs all the warmth.  
"I love these baths!" I sigh, lying down against a rock. Yuuki lies down next to me, making a similar noise.  
"Me too!" she says in a rare peaceful voice.

"Me three!"  
It was neither me nor Yuuki who said that. My friend and I stare at each other, confused for a moment. Suddenly, out of the steam, comes a face.  
"Boo!"

"KYAAAAAA!" screeches Yuuki and I, hugging each other in fear. We continue screaming like little girls until we realize that whoever was in front of us isn't going to eat us. It take me a moment to be able to see who it was.  
"Ah! Temari! You scared us!" I yell, backing up as much as I could into the wall.  
The kunoichi just sits there laughing at our expressions. Then, she wades her way closer to us and leans over the side of the rocks.  
"Ahhhhhh... I wish there were bathhouses in Suna..." she seems completely in a trance for a moment, until she sits up straight next to us.

"So, how are you two doing? Ready for five days of nothing interesting to do? 'Cause I know I am! Bathhouse until midnight HERE I COME! Muahahahah!" laughs Temari like a maniac. I gawk at her, completely shocked at her attitude. Awesomest kunoichi in the world? I think so.  
The older girl calms down from her laughing fit and looks at Yuuki's and my faces. She lifts an eyebrow.  
"What? You think that I always act cool and non-embarrassing? Nope. Everyone needs their crazy. And since non of my brothers are here to witness me acting even more wacko than Gaara, I am not going to resist or hold back!" She grins widely and shakes her shoulder length blond hair, splashing water everywhere. Then, she stops and stares lovingly at the sky. "Ah... I think that all this relaxing heat is melting my brain..." she whispers in a dreamy voice, before starting to laugh her heart out at herself.  
I continue staring at her in awe. Oh. My. God. I _love_ this girl! Temari is even cooler than I thought!  
"Wow... I guess we just aren't used to seeing ninjas acting crazy and stuff. Glad to know we aren't the only ones!" chuckles Yuuki.

Suddenly, all three of us tense up as we hear light footsteps approaching. Temari turns towards my cousin and I and places a finger on her lips, indicating us to stay silent. We did.  
We were hidden from the newcomer by the steam, but we could see who it is.  
Hinata slowly walks towards the bath and climbs in, about two meters away from Yuuki. When she and her towel were completely submerged, she lets out a long, relieved sigh.

"I love bathhouses!" she whispered quite loudly to herself.  
"Me too."  
"Me three."  
"Me four."  
"KYAAAA!" screams the lavender eyed girl, spinning around and noticing us. Her face instantly turns tomato red.  
"Ah! I-I'm s-sorry! I-I didn't realize that I-I wasn't a-alone!" stammers the Hyuga before trying to exit the bath. Three pairs of hands stop her from doing so.  
"Sorry! Don't leave Hinata-chan! All four of us are girls anyway! No need to be shy! Besides... We are all wearing towels!" I say, smiling at the blue haired girl. She gulps audibly and sits down.

"O-OK... But p-please don't t-try to g-grab me... We m-might have t-towels but w-we are s-still..." she blushes again. I think that it's because all of us girls are sitting very, very close. I grin and move back to give the shy girl a little space. Temari and Yuuki do the same.

After a short minute of a peaceful silence, Temari speaks up.  
"So... Where are your boys right now?"  
Hinata blushes when the blond says 'your boys', but answers anyway.  
"K-Kiba-kun and Shino-kun s-said that they would c-come down t-to take a b-bath l-later. I d-didn't want t-to interrupt t-their guy time s-so I went first." she manages to say. Temari nods her head knowingly.  
"Same here. I somehow managed to convince that idiot Kankuro to at least take a shower after unpacking and taking care of his puppets. And Gaara... He's probably going to wait until three in the morning to sneak down here and wash up." she states, drawing circles on the surface of the water. "What about your teammate? Ryo-kun, right?"

Yuuki and I both chuckle and point to the wall separating the girl's bath from the boy's bath.  
"Looks like our friend is the only hygienic guy around here! Good thing, since we will be sharing a room for the next five days!" laughs my cousin, scrunching up her nose at the last part. "God... I can't believe that the proctors think that it's safe to let girls and boys share a room. You never know what goes through their hormone filled brains, right?"  
Hinata turns completely red at that comment.

"W-what? But t-that is b-because our male t-teammates can b-be trusted! I trust K-Kiba-kun and Shino-kun to n-not... _d-do_ anything." says the Hyuga, obviously extremely embarrassed at having to say something like that. She is so cute. I can't help smiling.  
"True, but still. Boys are boys, right? Temari-san?" I turn towards the Suna kunoichi, hoping to get her opinion. She just shrugs.  
"Both of my teammates are my _brothers_. Kankuro is a perv obsessed with dolls and makeup. Gaara is just... Gaara. I don't see how being with them can be a problem." says Temari. I can't help but feel happy that she considers Gaara as her brother and not as a weird freak, which is sorta how Kankuro considers him right now.

But that thought is overwrote as I grin mischievously at the blond girl.  
"Sure... But... Boys are _still_ boys, right?" I repeat, putting as much wrong hidden meanings as I can into my words. The world seems to freeze for a second, until Temari realizes what I had just implied. Then her face twists into pure horror.  
"Oh my god... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!" moans the girl. "Ew. Ew. Ew. _Bad_ images. _Very bad_ images. Out of my head _right now_! God... I did not just imagine that. Nope, I didn't. Not with my brothers. Arg! Get out of my head!" Temari starts lightly tapping the side of her forehead, obviously very grossed out.  
I have to say that I'm very amused by her reaction. I place a hand on her shoulder and smile comfortingly at her.

"No worries Temari-san. It's perfectly normal. You aren't the only one with those images stuck in your head now. Yuu-chan and Hinata-chan are both probably thinking of it too!" I say with a straight face. The kunoichi stares blankly at me, then looks at the two other girls in the bath. Judging be Yuuki's evil grin and Hinata's red face, it's very likely that they are thinking the exact same thing we were both thinking.

The Suna girl groans loudly and covers her face up.  
"Can we please talk about something other than Kankuro, Gaara and I... doing the dirt?" she then lifts her face as her mental light-bulb seems to light up. "You know... I haven't had any girl talks for ages. So... Who's hot?" she grins evilly as a certain Hyuga gasps in embarrassment. "Hinata-san... Why don't you go first?"  
The lavender eyed girl goes even redder than before, bites her lip and quickly shakes her head.  
"Don't worry Hinata-chan, we won't say a word! Pinky swear! You can say more than one boy if that makes it easier..." I pat her gently on the shoulder. She looks thoughtful for a couple of seconds.

"W-well then... I-I g-guess that... Kiba-kun and N-... Na-... Naru-... You know... The b-blond boy with b-blue eyes and a l-lot of h-heart." I nearly 'awed' at her cuteness and blush. But she wasn't finished. "O-oh... And R-Rock L-Lee isn't 'h-hot' but... He's so v-very chivalrous..."  
I think that my respect for the little Hinata Hyuga had just tripled.  
"Yeah! Rock Lee is super cool! I never thought that I'd find another female who would ever agree! High five girl!" I shout and put up my hand, which she nervously high fives with a smile.

Yuuki giggles at me then spins around so that she is facing all three of us.  
"True. Lee's cool. In my opinion... Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Ryo and... hmmm, Neji are the smexiest guys around." she sighs dreamily. She snaps out of her reveries when Hinata seems to choke.  
"A-Ah... S-sorry. N-Neji-san is just s-so..." she grimaces for a second, something that I have never seen her do. EVER. Is it me, or is this whole girl-time-in-bathhouse-and-relaxation-thing opening up these two kunoichis? I mean, I know that everybody has their own crazy, but seeing Hinata do something _not_ extremely shy, nice and sweet is sort of... cool. Even more respect for this girl.

Yuuki shrugs at the Hyuga's comment with a: "To each her own."  
Then it's Temari's turn to share her opinion about the male species.  
"That Uchiha boy is quite the hotty. His teammate is cute... In a goofy way. He did look better without that horrible jacket and with his hair naturally down, though. Both Neji Hyuga and Ryo-kun are not bad. The kid with the puppy is cute. Kiba-kun right? And there is something simply creepy but cool about the dude with the sunglasses. Oh, and Nara isn't bad looking either I guess." She smiles broadly.

I can practically hear 'Ka-ching!' in my head. Temari thinks that Shikamaru is 'not bad looking'? Well, that's a start! I was going to do a happy little spinney move but then Hinata interrupted my actions.  
"H-Himeko-san... Who d-do you think i-is g-good looking?" she said with a small smile playing on her lips. Her stutter nearly seemed out of place. Yup, being surrounded by only nice girls does boost your confidence. I tap my chin.

"Well... I've got to tell you, I'm not very picky. I think that all ninjas are hot. Neji, Shino, Kiba, Naruto, Kankuro..." Temari made a 'vomit face. "... Hey! Don't do that! Kankuro is super handsome without the clown makeup! So, where was I? Oh... And there is Ryo, Shikamaru and Sasuke of course. Rock Lee and Chouji are not 'hot', but they are cute and awesome. And the coolest, awesomest, hottest male ninja in this entire freakin' world is Gaara..." I sigh dreamily at the last part.  
Yuuki groans and Hinata smiles and blushes. But Temari suddenly seems serious again.

"Look, Himeko-chan... I'm pretty sure that you know everything about my brother, about Shukaku... So, yes, I am still telling you to be careful around him. I'm not saying that I think that he will murder you, since... He does seem _kinder_ around you. He actually has real _conversations_ with you, whilst with Kankuro and I, the only things we hear him say are death threats, craziness, 'being better than the world' or 'blood'. I am still going to warn you though... Watch yourself, you never now what is going on in his head." says Temari, her voice laced with concern. I smile at her, happy to hear that Gaara seems to treat me differently from other, but wishing that people knew the real him that I love.

"Thank you for the warning, Temari-san. I... I really do like your little brother, even if he can be completely wacko. You remember about me being psychic right? Well, I'm going to use my magic powers to tell you that... If you believe in Gaara now, in the near future, he will start seeing you differently. Trust me, that boy has hope. A whole lot of it." I say, half sadly.  
When I finish, Temari chuckles.  
"I know what you can do Himeko-chan. I'm guess that you can take care of yourself. And, thank you, for believing in Gaara. He doesn't know it but... to me... he_ is_ my little brother. I guess that I haven't done a very good job of showing it though. Kankuro doesn't really, completely understand that... I know, because he is my brother too. I see how different they are from each other, but yet... They are both tough, independent and hard-headed. I can _see_ that all three of us are related. Because, as I said, I'm the eldest. Plus, I'm a girl, and girls are naturally more observant than their makeup sporting siblings." laughs the kunoichi.

I feel a lump forming in my throat. It's so sad, how Gaara thinks that he's all alone, when he has had a sister as amazing as Temari beside him all this time. I wanted to yell at him, tell him 'I told you so. Your siblings do care for you. Please, open your eyes wider, and you will realize that even more people don't hate you.'  
Of course, since I am in a bath, wearing only a towel, I can't really share that piece of my mind with him at this moment.

Yuuki gave my arm a shove, bringing me back to reality.  
"OK, we've talked hotness quota. Now, who do you think goes well with who? Of course, Temari-san, you are fated to be with Shikamaru. You're both good looking, smart, funny and plus, he obviously likes you already." she grins when a blush spreads onto the Suna kunoichi's cheek.  
"I noticed... But I hardly even know him..." she says nervously, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. I nod.  
"True, but you guys do go well together. Hinata-chan, you would look cute with both Naruto and Kiba." It's my turn to grin when the Hyuga goes thirteen different shades of red, stammering out incomprehensible words.  
"Oh my god, yeah! Since Kiba-kun is your teammate, all you have to do is get a little flirty then BAM! No guy can resist a girl with your charm!" agrees Yuuki, making the girl go an even unhealthier tomato color. Temari chuckles a bit at her shyness, then continues on with the conversation.  
"Yuu-chan... You would go well with... Ryo-kun."

We all agree as Yuuki's eyes widen and she thinks about it for a minute.  
"I have not idea why you guys think that." she concludes.  
"Well... I don't know, really. I guess it's just that you two are really different. With you being a hyper blond, and him being a less noisy person. Like sun and moon. But you're both funny and cool, so you have that in common." I point out. My cousin shrugs then she faces me with an evil grin.

"Himeko-chan... I dunno why, but you would go well with Sasuke."  
"Yeah! You really would. You two even sorta look alike, with the practically identical pure black eyes! Plus, he keeps staring at you when he thinks that you aren't looking or spacing out." adds Temari, giggling when I stare at them with a huge 'No-friggin-way!' look.

Sasuke? I guess that he's pretty cool. He's nicer than I expected, but still... I don't want to look good with _him_, even if he is considered the most popular guy in Konoha. However, there is a certain red hair that I would love to be considered cute with. Then, Hinata says something that makes me want to kiss her.  
"N-no. I-I think that H-Himeko-san goes well w-with y-your brother, Temari-san! They a-are different, but b-before the written exam y-yesterday, they w-were talking a l-lot! You and G-Gaara-san get along v-very well, Himeko-san! B-But, he is j-just a l-little..."

She is cut off as a loud, bloodcurdling scream fills the air.

…

**OK So I cut the chapter in half because it was way too long. The second part should be up in a few days or less, depending on how quickly I edit it. You never know, encouragement might make me do it faster *hint hint.*  
Wrapping a towel around yourself in a bath is super relaxing. I tried.  
I know, I'm evil to cut off the chapter in a suspenseful moment, but oh well, you guys are probably used to it by now!  
Review my awesome readers and reviewers!  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia, authoress**


	17. Bathhouse Tales: Boys and Towels

**Dear flamers... Thank you for not even mentioning my story in your hate mail! Good to know that you can only hate on me... But you don't even know me... So basically you just randomly insult people you don't even know. Please, if you are a flamer, you have two choices: 1. Go away. 2. Make your flame funny. Because seriously... Making a list of random swears and badly spelt words isn't the least bit interesting to read. English is a wonderful language. Use it properly.**

**OK, back on track to my nicer readers!**  
**So this is the second (shorter) part to the bathhouse related chapter! I hope that you enjoyed the first one!**  
**So who screamed? You are about to find out!  
Oh, and I am only four reviews away from my hundredth review! I'm counting on you guys!**  
**HimekoUchia: Let's cut the crap, we all know that Masashi-sama owns Naruto. I don't even draw that well. Or have a huge, fat bank account! Just enjoy reading the fanfiction.**

_...  
_  
_Last Chapter:_

_She is cut off as a loud, bloodcurdling scream fills the air._

...

Oh my god! Who is dying?  
All four of us girls jump to our feet, holding our towels close.  
"W-what was that?" panics Hinata, her eyes darting fearfully around us.  
I glance around, trying to recognize that voice. Suddenly, for a split second, Yuuki's gaze crosses mine, and we are both instantly reminded of that night where we heard a similar shriek in our hotel room.  
"RYO!" we both shout and start running towards the exit of the bathhouse, followed closely by Temari and Hinata. The water from my towel is dripping everywhere, but since my friend is in trouble, I don't really care.

In a blink of an eye, all four of us are standing outside the changing room doors, next to frantic, horrified looking Ryo, who is only wearing a towel around his waist.  
"Ryo-kun! What happened? Why did you scream?" I yell at him, but he doesn't reply for a good ten seconds. After which he starts pitifully moaning random words.  
"Bathhouse... Boys... NAKED MEN!" he cries out, shaking my shoulders.  
I stare at him, confused, until Kankuro, Kiba and Shino (who was still wearing his sunglasses) walk out of the boy's changing room, wearing just as much as Ryo. They look just as confused as I am.

"Dude... What's wrong with you?" asks Kankuro, wiping some face paint off with the back of his hand. Ryo gasps, takes a step back and points an accusing finger at him and the two other ninja.  
"You... How the HELL can you people parade around NAKED? It's DISTURBING OK? So keep you towels on at _all times_ PLEASE!" he hollers.

After one second, everyone present (minus Shino of course) starts laughing. Even Ryo.  
"Jeez, Ryo-kun! I thought that someone was stabbing you or something!" whines Yuuki. "We all run over, worried, and what do we find? We find you standing here wearing nothing but a towel, screaming your head off!"

… Oh my god. Hinata gasps and blushes a deep red, and I'm pretty sure that everyone else does too.  
Looks like we only just realized that we are here, eight teens, dripping wet from the bath, in the middle of a hallway, wearing only soaked towels, that we all pull closer. I can't help but stare a bit at all those muscles surrounding me.

We all just stand there awkwardly for a moment, until we hear footsteps coming towards us.

Gaara's shadow appears around the corner and he keeps walking until he steps into the light, making him visible to us, and giving him a clear image of the scene in front of him.  
"... What the heck is going on?" he asks in a monotonous voice, but the shock and freak out is evident on his face as he takes in the eight practically naked people in front of him, two of which he is related to and one that looks like she is going to pass out (Hinata).  
"... I do not know." replies Shino just as emotionlessly as he turns around and walks back into the male side of the bathhouse. Kiba shrugs, looks at Gaara, gulps and follows his teammate. Hinata manages to dash back into the changing room before anyone can blink.  
"I'm going to get changed." mumbles Ryo, using that as an excuse to escape having to answer the awkward question. Yuuki follows his lead, going the same way as Hinata.

Soon, only Temari, Kankuro and I are left with the responsibility of having to explain to a weirded out Gaara why he surprised all of us hanging around the corridor in towels.  
"... Naked men?" I try, hoping that he would understand.  
Judging by the look the red head gives me, I probably made things even worse than they already wear. I blush in embarrassment. "Um, no then... Strange screaming whilst bathing? Wait, no, that doesn't sound right either... Maybe... Ryo-kun got traumatized when he saw your brother, Kiba and Shino in their birthday suits. In all their glory. Completely and utterly butt-naked. That was clear right?"  
He blinks and looks slightly amused. "Yes. Yes it was very clear."

I grin and happily clap my hands together.  
"Yay! That means that I can go get changed and stop standing here wearing practically nothing!"  
I spin around and start walking towards the changing rooms, but not without noticing the cute, slight pinkish tinge on Gaara's cheeks, even though his expression remained cool and calm. Or that Kankuro was trying to hide the fact that he was simply, outright staring at me. Creep-o.  
However, I stop before I can enter the changing rooms and turn around to face the Sand Sibs. I blink at them, then say something that I have had on my chest for a few days, but forgot to tell them.  
"You know... You three actually look _very _alike..." I declare, seeing the two boys' faces fall in shock and the kunoichi's one looking thoughtful. "Seriously. I never really noticed... For example... Gaara-kun and Temari-san, you two have the exact same face shape, mouth, nose and a similar eye color. Kankuro-kun, you and your brother have identical eye shapes. And you and your sister both have that cheeky grin when you're happy... All three of you have a different hair color from each other, but all have that spike to it. You're different, but similar. One, but not the same."

Yes, I did just quote a line from a song, but at least these three ninja don't know that. I smile at them, wink at Temari, who smiles back, and manage cross the threshold leading to the changing rooms without jumping Gaara. In my peripherals, I see her taking a step towards her younger brothers.  
The red headed boy shifts his eyes a fraction of a inch towards me as I slide the door shut to give them privacy. Then, I do a happy dance.  
Yeah! Hopefully, the awesome kunoichi will manage to keep the two boys still long enough to have their first heart-to-heart! OK, maybe not, but if Temari could tell them just a fraction of what she told me in the bath, then things might change. I sigh joyfully, grab my change of clothes and a dry towel from my basket to go change in a corner. Yuuki is humming to herself whilst slipping on her skirt and Hinata is probably changing in a shower stall somewhere.

After five minutes, I'm fully dressed and I'm wringing my wet hair out with a towel, when Temari comes in, looking silently happy. She smiles as she walks by me to grab her clothes, leans over and whispers something in my direction.  
"It was hard to get them to listen, but I still managed to tell them that I was glad to have them as my little brothers. Gaara and Kankuro both seemed pretty surprised, but they _did _react. Gaara slowly walked away. Can't say that I blame him. Kankuro smiled... a real smile and went into the changing rooms. Do you think that that's a good thing?" asks Temari, hopefully.

I blink, shocked that she actually shared her private conversation with me. But then, I realize... She doesn't really know what to think of her brother's reactions, since she has never been in a situation like this before.  
"Yes, I think it is. Kankuro seems to have understood your message. I guess that Gaara probably has to digest the information before trying to convince himself that you were saying the truth. But you did well. Admitting that you truly care for them is the first step right?"  
Temari smiles at me and places a hand on my shoulder.  
"Thank you, Himeko-chan."  
"What for?" I ask curiously, not really knowing what I did.  
"For making me admit it to myself first." she replies quietly before walking off with her clothes to change without having to stand in the middle of the room.

I feel a warmish feeling bubbling in my chest for the entire time that I combed, dried and fixed my hair.  
Then, all four of us girls are standing here together again.  
"Well... I should get going. I need to go find something to eat in the kitchen for me and my brothers when they both come back to our room. Seriously, I feel like their personal cook. I guess that it's not really their fault that they are such impatient, clumsy idiots sometimes." sighs Temari, exiting the changing room, leaving my cousin and I with a shy little Hyuga.

"So, Hinata-chan... What are you going to do whilst waiting for your teammates to finish their bath?" asks Yuuki, putting on her shoes. "Since they are probably making Ryo-kun gorge his eyes out."  
The blue haired girl twiddles her thumbs a little.  
"Um... I-I don't know. I n-normally would keep a-an eye on Akamaru... B-but I think that h-he is in the changing r-rooms with K-Kiba-kun and Shino-kun." she stammers, straightening out her shirt. I grab her hand and Yuuki's and proceed to drag them out of the bathhouse.  
"Come on Hinata-chan! You can stay with us and Ryo-kun until your teammates finish! Shhh! Don't worry, you won't be bothering us!" I shush her again as she tries to protest.  
"O-Oh... I g-guess that if I w-won't be bothering you... Then, I-I would really l-like to. Thank you. I d-don't really w-want to stay a-alone in this t-tower. Especially with s-so many p-powerful ninja a-around." She tilts her head to the side and smiles sweetly, looking relieved.

We grab our stuff and exit. Once outside in the corridor, we spot Ryo waiting for us with a fair amount of distance put between him and the male side of the bathhouse. He lifts his head up when he hears us coming.  
"Oh, hey. Hiya Hinata-chan! So... What do you want to do now?" He runs his hand through his still wet hair.  
I think for a moment. Well, we can't go back to our room with Hinata, since our wall is covered with ninja posters.  
"I guess that we could... Raid the kitchen! Temari-san might still be there! Let's go!" I say. Everyone gives me a nod, and we sprint off towards the staircase, since this tower isn't less creepy with one more person with us. Temari was pretty brave for going off alone. Then again, she lives with Gaara, so she knows stress and fear.

When we arrive in the kitchen, however, the Suna kunoichi had came and gone. And judging by the half empty pot of boiled water on the table, she made ramen for her brothers. Wow, that was fast. She is pretty efficient. As if she needed another reason to be awesome.  
All four of us searched the cupboards, finding noodles, rice, some vegetables and... That was more or less it.  
"... Jeez, thank goodness that I have enough food with me to feed three armies of ninja, or we would die of hunger here." I mumble.  
The Hyuga hears me and looks at me curiously.

"What do y-you mean H-Himeko-san? There is p-plenty of good f-food here!" and she grabs three pots of instant ramen. I stay silent for a minute, before shrugging. I guess that they are used to simple food, being ninjas in training and all. Wow, I feel like a complete spoiled brat right now. If I'm going to stay longer in this world, I have to get used to eating only rice and vegetables at every meal. I guess that it can't be that bad right?  
I join Hinata in making instant ramen and soon, Ryo and Yuuki are doing the same. In four minutes, the noodles are ready to eat. I take a bite.  
"Hey... It's pretty good. Not as great as Ichiraku's though, of course. It tastes just like the instant noodles you can buy in convenience stores back home!"  
When I say that the ramen is good, I do mean it. I guess that I can call myself an instant noodle expert, since I am half Chinese after all. I just wished that I could read more kanji though, because then it would be easier to understand written signs. Being able to talk Chinese doesn't really help much here. Oh well, I still have my extensive knowledge on Asian food. Yum.

After about half an hour of sitting around and chatting, Kiba and Shino enter the room, smiling, relieved, when they see their teammate.  
"Oh, great! I knew that I could smell you here Hinata-chan!" says the dog-nin, grinning widely. Then, the two newcomers grab the still hot pot of boiled water, pour some into their cups of ramen and join us for dinner.  
When we are all finished, our teams walk up to the students' dormitories and part ways in front of our separate doors.  
"See ya around!" I call out to Team Kurenai, before joining my friends in the safety of our deodorant smelling room.

Even though it's reasonably late, the sun is still shining brightly outside since it is summer time. Normally, I would be super hyper and energetic around this time a day, but with all that ninja running, evil enemies dodging and steamy bathhouse, I feel completely exhausted.  
Yuuki and I kick Ryo into the small bathroom so that he can change in peace, and so that we girls are not stripping in front of a dude. And just because we are in the Naruto world, it doesn't mean that we don't do all that usual routine stuff. Like brushing our teeth, washing our face and whatever night ritual we have. Honestly, I think that ninjas are awesome, but I don't want people who are pros at war and fighting to be examining my teeth. Ninja dentist. Not a good image.

"Jeez, I am super tired. What is the plan for tomorrow? Wait, I don't really care right now. I just wanna sleep." To confirm her words, Yuuki yawns extremely loudly, flops onto her bed and passes out after a mumbled 'Goodnight'.  
Ryo chuckles at her and turns towards me.  
"Goodnight Himeko-chan. Have sweet dreams about Gaara! Nice, _steamy_ bathhouse dreams!"  
He laughs out loud when I throw a pillow at him for making fun of me and my obsession then tunnels under his covers and goes to sleep.

"Oh no, I got screwed again!" I groan, when I realize that I have to close the windows and turn off the lights. When I do, I make a mad dash to my bed, jumping in the air so that whatever monster underneath it wouldn't drag me under and eat me.  
I fumble around in the dark for my phone, to check the time, date, and the small reminder that I have for special occasions. There is something written for tomorrow.  
"Hm... The 3rd of July... I knew that it sounded familiar..." I smile a little to myself.

Then, I turn my phone into a small flashlight and shine it around the room, then under my teammates' and my bed.  
"Okay, the coast is clear." I grin.  
When I lie down in my bed to sleep, all the questions in the world come tumbling down.  
Is anything going to attack us in our sleep? What will I dream of? What's gonna happen tomorrow? Should I feel safe or nervous that Gaara the awesome killer psycho is right across the hall? How are all the other teams? Why is Sakura's hair so damn pink? What's the square root of pi? Why do I care? Oh, right, I'm tired, right?

…

**I hope that you enjoyed it!****  
****Who know what happens on the 3rd** **of July? I will give you cyber cookies if you can guess! It may or may not be obvious, depending on how much you know about the Naruto series. I also wonder if you can guess what song I quoted.  
To everyone who cares, I am actually a French and Shanghai mixed person! I can speak fluent English and French and pretty good Mandarin (Chinese). What's funny is that I'm red headed, left handed and extremely western only looking, so when I go to China, no one believes that I'm one of them. It's more like I'm this alien species coming to invade Earth and steal this planet's chocolate, scented candles and air conditioning.  
Please review! Go ahead, dish out constructive criticism or whatever! Just review something (if you are a flamer, don't)! I love my readers and reviewers! And you are included in either or both of those categories! Thank you! You truly make my day!  
****Sending love and sugar cookies,  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia , authoress, teen and type-racer (seriously, I managed to beat my own computer teacher at this awesome typing game)!**


	18. Lack of Sleep, Hyuga Rant and Cat?

**Hi people! How are you enjoying your life? Had a nice Halloween?  
I realize that I have been updating my stories only about once a month, and I'm really sorry for that... I have been pretty busy with school (9****th**** grade is so annoying) and trying to maintain a social life and stuff...  
Note: The whole 'Talking rubbish when I am tired' thing was actually happens to me in real life. I actually told a guy in my class the some of the things that I told Gaara in this chapter... It was hella-awkward but I didn't feel embarrassed until two days later. And the whole 'voices in my head' thing happens to me every night before falling asleep... And people wonder why I act so weird... At least the voices normally tell me something like 'Goodnight' or 'Remember to call Ana tomorrow'.  
So any-who, here we go! **

**Chuunin Exams! Day 2 in the Tower!**

**HimekoUchia: I do not own anything Naruto related! Just my OCs and stuff!**  
**Sasuke: Thank god for that. If you were my creator, I would be SCREWED!**  
**HimekoUchia: … hehehe, screwed... You got that right!**  
**Sasuke: O.O !OMFG! *Runs away***

**_..._**

_Last Chapter:  
__  
When I lie down in my bed to sleep, all the questions in the world come tumbling down.  
Is anything going to attack us in our sleep? What will I dream of? What's gonna happen tomorrow? Should I feel safe or nervous that Gaara the awesome killer psycho is right across the hall? How are all the other teams? Why is Sakura's hair so damn pink? What's the square root of pi? Why do I care? Oh, right, I'm tired, right?_

...

"Himeko-san, Tenten and I were making these together because she wanted to, but we have some leftover. Here, take them." said Neji, with a huge smile on his face, shoving a bowl of little heart shaped chocolates into my hands. For some strange reason, I wasn't the least bit creeped out by this.  
"Wow! Thanks Neji-kun! That's really nice of you!" I gave the genin a quick hug, then he left, closing the door behind him.  
The moment I turned around to put the goodies into the abnormally large fridge, my doorbell rang again.

Surprised, I went to open the door. Standing there were many, many people that I knew.  
"Himeko-chan, I baked these cookies for you!" yelled Sasuke, thrusting a platter of chocolate chip cookies into my face. I wasn't even confused yet.  
"Wow! Thank you that's so sweet!" I balanced the platter and bowl on my arm.  
Suddenly, everyone was all up in my face.

"Himeko-chan! I made this pie for you!" hollered Lee, handing over the food. I smiled and took it.  
"Wow! Thank you! That's really..."

"Himeko-chan! I made this ice cream for you!" Kiba threw a pot of ice cream at me.

"Himeko-chan! I know that you love crème brulée!" shouts Ryo, giving me a huge plate.

"Himeko-chan. Banana bread." Shino placed the loaf onto the platter of cookies.

"Himeko-chan! Marshmallows for you!" cried Naruto, shoving a pack of squishy treats into my arms.

"Himeko-chan. I don't know why I'm here, but this store bought Turkish delight is for you." Shikamaru lazily gave me the sweet.

"Himeko-chan! I baked this cake for you! I took a small bite out of it though." Choji sheepishly handed over the cake.

"Himeko-chan! I've got candy for you!" said Kankuro, thrusting a huge bag of candy at me.

"Himeko-chan! I don't like you, but here is this non-poisonous egg tart!" Zaku gave me an egg tart.

By the time they were all finished, I was balancing all their gifts in my arms. Strangely, by clumsiness didn't make me drop any of their overwhelming stuff.  
"Uh... Wow... That's... That's very nice of you boys to give me all these things that... that I like! But..."  
Now, I started to freak out a little. Why were they even here? How did they know where I lived? Where am I actually? What if I tripped over my own feet and embarrassed myself in front of all the ninja dudes?

As if answering my prayers, Gaara swooped in and took all the gifts out of my hands. I was going to thank him, until he tossed all the delicious food outside and slammed the door in my guests' faces.  
I gawked at him, with a sad look on my face, even if his back was facing me and he couldn't see.  
"Gaara-kun... That wasn't very nice... I really like that flavor of ice cream too..." I was cut off as a deep growl came from the jinchuuriki's throat.  
"Himeko-chan... You don't need all that stuff... You already have me..." he said, using his hot, rough voice.

I felt myself blush at his words.  
"Aw... Well, as long as you stay, I'll give up a thousand desserts!" I smiled happily, waiting for Gaara to say something incredibly sweet again.  
Instead, he stayed silent for a long time. I started to panic.  
"Uh... Gaara-kun, are you feeling OK?" I slowly walked towards him with my hand stretched out, but he spoke before I could touch him.  
"I am all you that you will ever need. Just me. Oh, except for one thing. Himeko-chan..."

I felt my heartbeat accelerate. What was he going to say now?  
Suddenly, Gaara spun around with a huge, dopey grin on his face.  
"I MADE THESE MOCHIS JUST FOR YOU!"

"NOOO!" I sat up abruptly in my bed, beads of sweat rolling down my forehead. I slowly drew in ragged breaths, placing a hand on my frantic heart.  
"Oh, thank god. It was just a nightmare... A horrible, horrible nightmare where Gaara was smiling like Lee on crack... And took all those delicious smelling things away from me..." I whispered to myself. After a few minutes, I managed to relax my mind.  
I gulped one last time and looked to my right. Oh, phew, I didn't wake up Yuuki and Ryo.

I sighed and lied down in my bed. I felt my eyelids flutter shut and got that weird feeling that you get before falling asleep. Like you're getting sucked into a black hole.  
_Go to sleep..._  
My eyes snapped open and I frantically looked around the room for the source of the creepy voice. Finding nothing, I decided that it was another figment of my overactive imagination. Or the voice in my head could have returned.  
Either way, I hugged my pillow closer.  
After two minutes, my eyes were still as wide as saucers, so I decided to watch a few episodes of Naruto on my Ipod. I then realized that it wasn't helping me fall asleep.  
This was going to be a long ass night.

…

"Himeko-chan... Are you alright?" asked Temari, leaning over the table to feel my forehead. I blinked and grinned widely, making her jump back.  
"Ahahahahahahah... I'm fine! Why are you asking?" After laughing, my head starts spinning painfully.  
The kunoichi gives me a long, concerned look.  
"You forgot to put rice in your bowl. And you've been eating from it for about five minutes already."  
I look down at my breakfast and gasp.  
"Oh my god... Who is the punk who took my food? I bet that it was Sasuke... I knew that there was something strange about that guy the second he gave me those cookies!"

Yuuki sighs, stands up, picks up my bowl and fills it with rice saying:  
"Himeko-chan... Sasuke isn't even here." She then hands me back my breakfast.  
I gasp again and bang my fist on the table, receiving a weird look from everyone around it... That means Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino (those four were pretty nervous, but agreed to eat breakfast with all of the present genins if we accompanied them), Yuuki, Ryo, Temari, Kankuro and Gaara. Wait, what is he doing here? I didn't even see him arrive. And isn't he supposed to be asocial or something? I start staring at him, even if he isn't looking at me anymore.

"Seriously... What's up with you?" I hear Kiba say, then came Akamaru's bark. I didn't answer, but just start eating my rice, humming the Naruto theme song. I'm pretty sure that everybody sweat dropped.  
"Don't worry too much. This always happens when she doesn't sleep enough. She will act even more crazy than usual and say loads of bullshit at the most inappropriate times... though most of the things she will say she will really mean." replies Ryo, shaking his head solemnly.  
I glare at him and at everybody who gives me pitiful look.

"I'm fine. I just had a really, really vivid dream that involved a bunch of guys and yummy, sweet smells." The second the words left my lips, I realized that even the most simple minded person could twist that up into some sicko meaning. And nobody here was really simple minded.

"Wow. This is even worse than usual. Here, eat this Himeko-chan." Ryo handed me an energy bar.  
I gave him a grateful smile and took it.

"Lack of sleep does this to her?" said Gaara, looking curiously at me. Of course he would be interested in that... He can't dream and lack of sleep gives _him_ dark circles... Lucky him. Thinking of his eyes, I looked up and met those everlasting sea green orbs. My heart skipped a beat and butterflies started swarming my stomach... And my brain.  
"Gaara-kun... You would make an awesome dancer... 'Cause your ass is nice..." I didn't even blink, but grinned creepily at the young red headed boy, who gave me a long, shocked and extremely disturbed look, that he tried to hide, his jaw slightly hanging open.  
Kankuro choked on his glass of water. Temari clapped him on the back and widened her eyes in horror at me, then she shifted her gaze to her youngest brother, wondering if he would lash out and kill everyone.  
He didn't.

I slapped a hand over my mouth.  
"Oh god... I'm sorry, that wasn't very appropriate to say out loud. Damn, Hinata-chan, you're chest is pretty big for a girl your age. Oh... Sorry." I guiltily eyed the Hyuga as she turned deep red and folded her arms over herself. She shook her head when she crossed my gaze.  
"I-it's not your f-fault if you c-can't control it..." she managed to force out, dying of embarrassment as I had drawn attention to a part of her body. I smiled gratefully at her.  
"Aw... That's nice and understanding of you! Yo! Ryo-kun, quit staring!" I smack my teammate, who turns an interesting shade of red.  
"I... I wasn't even... Dammit, I really hate it when you're like this! It's as if you were drunk, but you can actually think straight, just not the right things..." He glares angrily at me.  
I shrug.

I hear a chair getting pulled across the floor. I look up and see Gaara putting his bowl in the sink and turning to leave. Wow, I must have really freaked him out. Wow, I managed to freak Gaara of the friggin' Desert out. That is something that I can now tick off my long list of life long goals.  
I want to call out something to him, but Yuuki's hand muffles my words. I can only watch sadly as the redhead walks silently out of the room without looking back. Oh shit. My eyes widened in shock. I must really, really gone overboard... I mean, Gaara doesn't even let the fact that not everybody hates him register, so how could I expect him to react well to my crazy comments? I felt guilty and desperate at the same time. Desperate to chase after him and tell him how great and amazing he is, even if I did see him ruthlessly murder a bunch of ninja. Probably not a good idea in my state.

There is an awkward silence for a couple seconds as everybody stares from Gaara's empty chair to me. Then back at the chair and back at me again.

"I don't get it. If someone told me I had a nice butt I would be totally flattered, not pissed. Especially if the girl is hot wearing only a towel." says Kiba, raising his eyebrow. Ryo and Kankuro both chuckle and agree with him, whilst Shino just sits there silently. Yuuki hits our teammate, Temari smacks the back of her brother's head and since Hinata isn't going to slap Kiba, I do it.  
The blond Suna kunoichi pulls on the front of her fringe and looks up at me.  
"Urg... Boys and their perversion... Um... Try not to worry yourself, Himeko-chan. Gaara is probably just... surprised." she tries to calm me down. I smile gratefully at her. She is so nice when she isn't punching the life out of people.

"Hm, yeah... I guess. Today just isn't my day. Today... today... Oh my god! I almost forgot!" I yell out of nowhere, grabbing my scroll and summoning a bunch of plastic bowls, ingredients and stuff. Everyone stares at me, very, very confused.  
"OK. This is enough wasted time. We need to go train." announces Shino, sitting up and practically pulling his two teammates out of the room. I think that my extreme randomness is starting to annoy the hell out of him... Since he _is_ super cool and calm.

"Even if this conversation was... _interesting_, the brat with the sunglasses has a point. Temari, we should go find Gaara before someone dies again. And then try to survive." says Kankuro, earning a glare from his sister and I.  
"Kankuro-kun... What is your problem with Gaara-kun? I know that he is a psycho that houses a demon but none of those things were even his fault! Please... At least _try_ to get along with him and, trust me, you will never regret it. He is only, like, _thirteen_. Doesn't it hurt to see your little brother filled with so much hate at his age? Huh?" Wow, I managed to say something smart, with an extremely serious look on my face. I could feel my heart clenching, as I thought about the sad, lonely redheaded jinchuuriki.  
The puppet-nin looks at me with wide eyes, gulps, shrugs and pulls Temari out of the kitchen by the arm. The kunoichi waves at us, giving me a slight smile, then disappears.

When my friends and I are alone, Ryo turns towards me.  
"OK, ignoring everything that just happened... What are those things for?" He points to the mess I made, trying to steal one of the packets of chocolate chips. I swat his hand away.  
"Tsk! No touching! I want to make some delicious edible stuff, since my dream has inspired me to do so and gift them! To Neji." I see my cousin's eyes instantly light up.  
"Oh! His birthday is today! I can't believe that I nearly forgot! Can I help?" she squeals.  
"Sure! What about you, Ryo-kun? Want to join?" I ask the only guy in the room. He thinks for a moment and sighs.  
"I don't have anything better to do anyway." He sits up, puts all the dirty dishes in the sinks and stands beside us.  
And all three of us start making the heart shaped chocolates that I imagined for the next few hours.

…

"So... Do we sneak out into the Forest of Doom just like that? Are we even allowed to?" asked Ryo warily, eying the dark, creepy trees.  
I let Yuuki hold the small package, which she squeezed closer to herself. I have to admit, I didn't like the forest either.  
"I guess so... And no, I don't think that we are allowed to... But whatever. Let's just avoid any ninja and go directly to Team Gai, give them Neji's birthday gift and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

"If you make a noise like that, you probably won't last very long."

My team stiffens and spins around. Standing there is someone we, thankfully, know.  
"Oh, Shino-kun... It's just you. What are you doing here?" asks Yuuki, looking at him suspiciously. I look him over too. Yup, it's him, not some imposter.  
"I could ask you the same question. It isn't advisable to go out there." says the stoic bug-nin, walking towards us. I smile nicely.  
"But it's important! Are where is your team?"  
"Eating. It's lunch time. I finished before them. But out there... There are murderers, assassins that want nothing more than to kill you." he replies flatly. Woah, this dude is good at this game. I almost didn't want to go out there.  
"If you're so worried about us, why don't you come? Since your bugs can detect anyone around as well as keep people at bay..." I suggest. To my surprise, Shino pushes his glasses up his nose and slowly walks over to stand by us.

"Wow... Oh, OK... Let's go then."  
We all dart into the dark forest, keeping close and checking to make sure that no one is nearby. I concentrate on all the thoughts around us, searching for three particular minds. _Sasuke Uchiha! Yummy!_... Oh... Shoot, Orochimaru is nearby, searching for Sasuke! Should we save him? No... We must not wreck the entire story line.  
"Wait! Let's not go this way! We don't want to... uh... run into the battle that I can sense! Let's go..."  
_Fate. Destiny. Hyuga Branch house. Youth. Gai. Green. Neji._ Bingo.  
"...This way! I think that I found our targets!" I yell out in a whisper, turning sharply to our left and kept going on.  
Shino is pretty curious, but doesn't ask anything. Jeez, he is so silent... or shy. I decided to answer his mental question to spare him the thoughts.  
"It's Neji's birthday today. Yah know, Hinata-chan's creepy cousin? I dreamed that he loved chocolate, so I wanted to make some for his entire team, since they are still fighting for their lives... And we are already at the Tower, nice and safe and cozy and warm and..."  
"OK. I get the point."

After about half an hour of sprinting (yay for ninja endurance), we enter a clearing where the three older genins are. Wow, I haven't seen them in, like, a whole entire day or more! Fangirly urges came back, but I pinched myself in time. Even Yuuki didn't jump Neji!  
"Huh? What are you four doing here?" asks Tenten, tightening her hold on her kunai and keeping a wary eye on my cousin and on her boyfriend. I put both of my hands up.  
"Relax. We don't want your scrolls. Actually, we all finished the test yesterday. We shouldn't really be out here... But whatever! Happy birthday Neji-san!" I shout out and hug the Hyuga, who widens his eyes in shock.  
"WHAT? It's your birthday? Oh my god, I forgot! I'm sorry Neji!" holler Tenten and Rock Lee, both hugging their teammate, who now looks very uncomfortable.  
"Yes. I didn't tell anyone when my birthday was... Because it doesn't _matter_. We are ninja, not children!" he says high and mightily. My jaw drops in horror.  
"Birthdays... Don't... Matter? What the F is wrong with you? You just turned... Um... 14 right? It's an important year!" He nods at the years, but shakes his head at the 'important year' part.  
"Every single day, we get older. What is one day in our lives?" He says, using his 'destiny cannot be changed' tone. I suddenly have an urge to punch him in the face.

"Neji...Is this about the curse mark again? Because you said that you wouldn't let that affect you anymore!" asks Lee, smiling and hugging me, but giving his friend a long look.  
I think that the green guy struck a sensitive nerve in the Hyuga, because the long haired boy clenched his fists and glared at his teammate.  
"That is none of your concern. Lets concentrate on the task at hand... Hn... 10th anniversary of this stupid curse seal... Stupid Main Branch..." He started mumbling some more and went off to the side.  
Tenten rolled her eyes at him.  
"Oh great, here he goes again with his stinking Hyuga rant. Urg... So... Apart from that, how are you guys?" says the Weapon Mistress, smiling at my friends and I, giving Shino a slightly surprised look. He just shrugged and stayed silent, making everything pretty awkward.

"We're fine. We wanted to wish you guys good luck for the rest of the test, and we can't wait to see you at the Tower! I hope that you manage to make it in one piece! Oh.. and we've got something..."  
I nudge Yuuki, who walks over to Neji, pats him on the back and grins at the boy. He looks a little annoyed, but doesn't yell at anyone. My blond friend hands him the small box. The Hyuga takes it, looking very, very confused indeed.  
"Open it when you have some time. Himeko-chan, Ryo-kun and I made them for you! Make sure you share though, 'cause we put so damn much sugar... You will end up super fat if you eat all of them."

For the first time since the time that he confessed to Tenten, Neji looked... _touched_.  
"Thank you." he said simply, giving us a rare smile, that disappeared so fast that I almost thought that it was a trick of the light. "But we are busy, so leave. Now."  
"OK, OK, fine... Sheesh. See you guys!" I wave at Lee, Tenten, stick my tongue out at the Hyuga and start backing away into the trees.

After a minute of running, I hear Shino talking above the sound of our feet thumping the branches below.  
"I start to understand why Hinata dislikes her cousin. He is cold."  
My team and I all stare at the stoic bug-nin for a couple seconds, before nearly erupting in laughter. Oh, the irony.  
"You think that _he _is cold? Hahaha! I guess that you have a point... Hah! It's just that... You hardly show any emotions yourself, Shino-kun..."  
I see the Aburame shrug, but he looks a little offended.  
"Just because you can't see my eyes and my mouth and my face doesn't mean that I'm cold!" he barks at us.

Wow... Shino barked...  
"Oh...Sorry man... You are plenty kind and fun and awesome, so please don't be upset!" I shout out at him.  
The bug-nin stays soundless for a minute, before we clearly hear him say:  
"Thank you."  
But when we turn to look at him, he acted as if nothing happened.

After a long, straight, non-stop run, we make it back to the Tower in one piece.

"I thought that Neji-kun would be so happy! I am sort of disappointed..." pouts Yuuki looking at her feet. Ryo snorts and crosses his arms.  
"So what? Did you expect him to squeal of joy and start glomping everyone? I can hardly imagine that!"  
He does have a point. Then again, I've seen Neji do plenty of amazing things since I arrived here. Like... Making out with Tenten for example.

"I need to go." I turn just in time to see Shino disappearing into the Tower without looking back. All three of us left sweat drop and watch him leave.  
"That dude is so creepy sometimes." sighs Ryo, starting to walk into the Tower.

In the corner of my eye, I see something move. I gasp and jump back, ready to punch our attacker to death.  
I didn't expect to see a tiny, adorable, sand colored kitten crawl out of the bushes towards us though. I stare down at it as it starts rubbing itself against my leg. Then it starts purring.  
"Awww... Poor cute kitty! So kawai! I want to keep..." I lift the animal up and do a little check-up. "... him! I just have to make sure that Akamaru doesn't run into it though..."  
Yuuki joins me in loving the cat, but Ryo looks suspicious. Before I can ask him why, he beats me to it.  
"Himeko-chan... What is a small kitten doing in the middle of the Forest of Doom? Isn't that a little... Strange? What if it's an old man in disguise?"

I stiffen, gulp, and look down into the cat's adorable chocolate brown eyes that make me melt immediately.  
"Nope. I'm pretty sure that he isn't a ninja in hiding! Only a real kitty can do that whole 'irresistible-cat-eyes' thing. Maybe he belongs to someone from Konoha... What about that lady who keeps losing her cat? Nah, it's not the same one. Can I at least keep it until I can find the owner? Please? C'mon Ryo-kun! You can't say no this look!" I hand him the animal, who looks up at him. My male teammate seems to have an internal war, with many lives lost, but sighs.  
"Fine... Just be careful with Akamaru and Kiba. Or better, put a tracking device on it so that we don't lose it in the Tower."

I squeal and glomp my friend, thank him and do as he suggested. I tie a little collar around the cat's neck (which I don't even know I had, but whatever) and pick it up.  
"So, until we find your family... You will be called... Simba! Whee! Simba! You are soooo kawai!" The cat mews in agreement. I think that this is a very intelligent being, aside from the fact that he decided to wander into the Forest of Doom for a leisurely stroll... and ended up in this place.  
My friends and I skip into the safety of the Tower. After about two minutes, Ryo snatches the kitty out of my arms, gives me a sheepish look and start cuddling the cat.  
"Hehehe... I knew it!" I pat my friend on the back and then we continue our little hike back to our room, meeting no one on the way.

When we arrive to our room, unlock it and enter, I find a sight that I do not like.  
"Ew... God, I hate dirty clothes lying around. I'm just going to bring this to the laundry room... And clean them. I'll be right back!" I grab all of the garments and exit the room again.  
"Jeez... Himeko-chan... _You_ are super messy! Plus, we don't have _that _many dirty clothes! Can you at least wait for a few days?" yells Yuuki.  
I just shrug and leave, letting Ryo care for our new little friend (Simba).

I simply hate having laundry lying around, even one shirt... Living with my grandmother during long holidays sure has made me sensitive to that kind of stuff... Since I had to do all the cleaning up... I don't find it a bad thing, at least it has made me more responsible. But Yuuki was right... I am a messy person... I just can't stand dirty clothes... Or going to bed without taking a shower of brushing my teeth. But that is most definitely something I should do anyway.  
I then regret going down the Tower all alone. These corridors a so creepy! I gulp, but refuse to back out for something like this... It's no big deal... No monsters... No ghosts... No murderers... Oh shit... There _are _murderers! I start running frantically all the way until I arrive at the small door that has a bunch of Japanese characters carved onto it. But if my memory is correct, this is the laundry room that the chuunin showed us.

I slide open the doors and enter. Oh, phew, it's the right place... And it's empty. I can't really decide if that's a good or bad thing, but oh well...  
I find a line of small washing machines against the wall, pick a random one and put the small pile of clothes into it. I search the room. Where is the...?  
Ah! Soap! I use it, then put it back where I found it. I switch the machine on and try to look for a basket for the clothes once they come out. As I find one, I hear the door sliding open. My heart does a double flip in fear, but before I can turn around, I can hear a voice that I immediately recognize.  
"Well, well... Hello there!"

…

**I hope that it was OK! I really wanted to get this out for Halloween! Yep, that's right! Instead of trick-or-treating, I'm editing my story! 'Cause everyone in my building is Chinese and they always slam the door in our faces (literally... I tried to get candy last year... Ouch... Never trying that again). I hope that everyone got loads of sweets! This is my treat to you!  
Who just came into the laundry room? You can probably guess... Or not.  
Well, review my lovely readers! I love you guys (Yay! I got over one hundred reviews for this story)! Happy Halloween to you!  
~~~ XOXO HimekoUchia (no candy for another year)**


	19. Who Does The Laundry?

**Another late update! Sorry my readers! I do feel bad, but in the past month, I had to write a blog, make video, write a short story, organize a charity and do loads of essays and exams. And I'm still not done with those.  
I promise to at least update once a month, or more often. I will never abandon my stories! I love them too much! And I love you guys too!  
And I love my beta! He is awesome! I love you! **

**Chuunin Exams! Still Day 2 in the Tower!**

**HimekoUchia: Do I still need to do these? Everyone knows that I don't own anything but my OCs and stuff.  
Ryo: Yeah, you need to. Or Masashi Kishimoto will SUE YOUR ASS!  
****HimekoUchia: But I really want to own Naruto though...  
****Yuuki: Do you have a big, fat, bank account to pay your bail?  
****HimekoUchia: …  
****Yuuki: Didn't think so either.  
Ryo: Now, on with the story Hime-chan, we don't want to keep the fans waiting any longer. Shame on you!  
****HimekoUchia: I said that I was sorry! Sheesh!**

…

_Last Chapter: _

_I slide open the doors and enter. Oh, phew, it's the right place... And it's empty. I can't really decide if that's a good or bad thing, but oh well..._  
_I find a line of small washing machines against the wall, pick a random one and put the small pile of clothes into it. I search the room. Where is the...?_  
_Ah! Soap! I use it, then put it back where I found it. I switch the machine on and try to look for a basket for the clothes once they come out. As I find one, I hear the door sliding open. My heart does a double flip in fear, but before I can turn around, I can hear a voice that I immediately recognize._  
_"Well, well... Hello there!"_

…

"Hey Kankuro-kun! How are you?" I say cheerfully, turning around to face the boy.  
When I do, I am slightly swooned by the make-up less, cat hat less and shirtless ninja. He smirks when he sees me staring.  
"Something you find interesting?" He says in a low voice, walking towards me. I blush a little, before picking up a basket and throwing it at him.

"Kankuro-kun! That is what a guy would say in a cheesy, X rated porn movie!" I yell at him. He simply snorts.  
"Yeah, but you were still staring."  
"Dude, I'm a girl. You are shirtless. You are a ninja. You have nice abs. You are kinda really hot. Don't be surprised if I am imagining weird stuff right now."  
The Sand-nin gives me a long look. After a minute of silence, he places the basket that I threw at him on an empty washing machine.

"Yah know, for a girl, you are kind of a huge pervert. Just saying." he chuckles, putting a lot of soap in his machine before turning it on. "So, Himeko-chan, are you feeling better now?"

I stare at him confused. What was wrong with me? He looked at me and realized that I had no idea what he was talking about.  
"Ya know... This morning, you acted as if you had a hangover or something... Better?" He clears up, leaning against the wall, closing one eye. He actually _does_ do that a lot. I didn't notice until now. Must be because it's the first time we were totally alone.

My mental light bulb lights up.  
"Oh yeah! I'm fine now, thanks to all that sugar I put in those chocolates..." I smiled, then looked around the room for a place to sit. Finding none, I decide to sit on top of my washing machine. It's really hard, and sort of hurts my butt, but at least I get to dangle my feet above the ground. Yay.

After a few moments of me humming and the other ninja looking deep in though, I suddenly ask a question that I had nagging in my mind.  
"Ne, Kankuro-kun? Why are you shirtless anyway? And why the _heck_ are you doing the washing? I didn't see you as the type to care about laundry, no offense." I say, laughing when he raises an eyebrow at me before not-so-subtly flexing his muscles.  
"Shirtless? Because I want to make the girls go weak in the knees of course!" He grins when I cross my arms and lean back against the wall, giving him a sheepish smile. "Nah, not really. But, of course, if it's working, then I'm totally trying to do that!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Answer the question Mr. Chocolate Abs."

We both chuckle for a minute, suddenly feeling all of the stress and worries of the shinobi world floating away like a goat on helium. That made no sense at all. Oh well.

"Heh, I like you!" Kankuro playfully gives me a soft punch in the arm. "Actually, I just finished training with Temari and Gaara. It was so damn messy, even _I_ couldn't stand it. We all took quick baths afterwords. Well, Gaara just took a shower and left. I didn't expect anyone to be in here, so I didn't bother to put on a shirt... or a proper outfit... or my war paint..."

"You should try to avoid putting that stuff as much as possible. I mean, sure, it's super bad-ass... kinda... But without it... We can actually notice the color of your eyes! And the fact that you _do_ have eyebrows. You also look a lot more like your siblings like this!"  
He shrugs and grins as he traces his brows with his fingers.  
"I can't believe that Gaara doesn't have any eyebrows..." he says not too loudly, in case the redhead is right outside the door.

"Yeah? True, it's strange, but it makes him look hot, right?" I giggle when he looks a little uncomfortable. Ah, these ninjas are just too easy to mess with. "What? You don't think that Gaara-kun is good looking? Oh come on... You _must_ have noticed his sexiness Kankuro-kun! Don't worry! You can say it! I won't tell anyone, I promise!"  
I mentally laugh extremely evilly when the boy stiffens and stares at me with wide saucer shaped eyes. He opens his mouth and gapes like a goldfish, but nothing comes out for a long time.

After I've finished enjoying the fact that his head was probably filled with indecent images of his younger, male brother, I decided to save him from further embarrassment and go back to the previous topic and question that he had skipped.  
"Kankuro-kun? Why are you doing the laundry?" I ask, making him snap out of his 'oh-my-god-this-girl-is-more-of-a-mentally-unstable-pervert-than-me' moment.  
He gives a quick, creeped out look before answering.

"Actually, _Gaara_ is the one who hates dirt the most out of the three of us. Funny, since he has sand on his body all the time... But of course, he wouldn't come down to the laundry room with dirty clothes in case that there was someone here. Yah know how he is... He isn't a really social person. Temari is the one who does the cooking, so it's only fair that I do the laundry. She is my sister after all. Not my servant. And she is always the one to save my butt when Gaara gets pissed, so I really owe her. But don't tell _anyone_ I said that."  
I stare at him and it's my turn to by totally shocked.  
Wow... He is sort of a... considerate guy. Who would have ever known?

"Holy... I suddenly like you even more than before, Kankuro-kun. You... really do care about Temari, do you? And Gaara-kun... You help him do things that he is uncomfortable doing, either because he freaks you out, or because... You do care about how he feels?"  
The boy looks at me for a long moment, with a blank look on his face. Then, he shrugs.

"I guess that it's... both. Sometimes."

"Oh my GOSH! You're awesome!" I squeal before glomping him. He backs up against the wall when I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his torso. Wow... He's kinda tall. "Kankuro-kun! I never knew that you were so sweet! It doesn't even matter that you're kind of crazy!"  
Then, the puppet-nin goes an interesting shade of red for just a second before he regains his cool attitude.

"Heh. Thanks, I guess... I think that the craziness is genetic. My whole family is mental. Temari is crazy, Gaara... You get it. And I'm not too sane either I guess."  
"Yeah. I guess that you could always blame your parents for being crazy and passing it on to you guys. They should have thought about the risks of you inheriting their whack before getting their... _swerve_ on."

I laugh and let him go when he tries to chuckle, but I'm squeezing him too tight. He takes a long breath when I finally loosen my killer hug hold on him.

"Whoops... Sorry. I didn't expect you to be so sensitive to bone crushing hugs. Being all ninja fit and all."  
"Yeah. We don't get those much in Suna. Nobody really wanted to get close to us..." He suddenly turned all nostalgic and silent.  
Since that was so un-Kankuro like, I sort of freaked out a little. I placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"You know what? There should be a law that states that _everyone_ should get at least _one_ hug a day. It's good for the soul." He smiles sadly at me, completely dropping his 'bad ass' attitude. I smile back and hug him again, not painfully this time.  
"If it makes you feel better... I think that you're awesome. But the cat hat has got to go." I grin when I hear him laugh again. He wraps an arm around me giving me a brief, quick squeeze before we both take a step back, 'cause if someone walked in it would be _very_ awkward.

I then hear my washing machine stop, indicating that my team's and my clothes are finally clean. I take all of the laundry out and fold them into the basket before sitting on top of the washing machine again.

"I think that I'm gonna wait for you. I feel too lazy to move right now." I say and Kankuro goes back to leaning against the wall.  
"Oh. Thanks." He replies, drumming the top of the machine with his fingers, beaming at me.

I couldn't help but feel happy that I got so many genuine smiles today. I makes me all fuzz wuzzled inside. I hate seeing people sad and depressive when they should be laughing and having a blast in life.

"So... How are your siblings?" I ask to break the silence, since, as everyone knows, I hate those.

The ninja shrugs a little bit before answering.  
"Relaxing, I guess. Gaara is probably somewhere... thinking. Temari shouldn't be too far away either, since we do take turns to keep an eye on him, just in case."

I sigh and nod, getting his point, because even though I think that Gaara can be trusted, I know that Temari, Kankuro and Baki were assigned to watch him for his and others safety.  
"Hn. I understand I guess..." I sigh again, making the puppet-nin give me a long, curious look.

That is when his washing machine stops.

With a huff, he pushes himself off of the wall and starts piling his and his team's laundry into the basket that I threw at him when he first entered the room.  
About halfway through, without interrupting his actions, he glances sideways at me.  
"You really like Gaara, do you? Why?" He says slowly, making sure that his clothes are more or less neatly folded.  
I stare at him for a long time, thinking of an answer.

"Gaara-kun is... So different. I know that he is possessed by a demon. I know that he has murdered people before. I know about his hate for love. But I also know that he is an awesome, cool and special boy, who has had such a sad past. And... He is actually pretty nice and sweet when he isn't trying to act all high and mighty or trying to push people away."

I add the last part when I remember the game of 'Are you nervous yet?'... and the game of 'Would you rather...' in the dessert shop that ended with Gaara saying that he would rather kiss his siblings just when they walked in, making him look like an innocent, embarrassed kid whom had just gotten caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

I giggled at that memory. He had looked so cute with that furious blush on his face. So adorable and... just like every other human, but better. He was just so... imperfect, which made him so perfect.

My thoughts were suddenly cut short as I felt someone grab my arm and was I was staring into serious brown eyes.

"OK, listen up. I'm not saying that you should stay away from Gaara, because you are obviously tough and he doesn't seem to want your death at all. But I'm warning you, he doesn't _know_ how to understand his and others feelings. He doesn't value lives all that much. He doesn't _love_. Himeko-chan, I've known him for his entire life. Not... not that well, I admit, but still enough to tell you this: Don't expect anything from him, he has no affection or compassion to give."

My jaw falls open slightly. I have never imagined Kankuro being so... like this. He is normally cocky, care free and hates little kids.

I blink and slowly tug on my arm, and he releases it. I grab my basket off of the top of the washing machine and turn towards him, giving him a small smile.

"Thank you, for your concern. I know that Gaara-kun is messed up in the head because of everything that has happened to him. I don't expect him to propose or declare his undying love to me... I'm not stupid. I just... want him to get out of his darkness. To help him. To make him realize that life _is_ beautiful, no matter how hard things are." I look at the ninja in front of me, who is staring back at me, with a blank look on his face. "Kankuro-kun, I know that somewhere, deep down inside of him, Gaara-kun is an awesome person. And I know that you care for him, even just a little. So thank you, again, for trying to 'warn' me, but I'm going to be fine. I just want him to smile, not to love, just yet... Well! Anywho! This is sort of getting awkward so let's go shall we!" I grin, breaking the slight 'inspiring speech moment' atmosphere. All that had been missing was the cheesy music.

The puppet-nin snorts and motions for me to follow him out of the laundry room, making sure to slide the door shut behind him.  
"So. How do we dry these?" I ask the boy as I poke the wet clothes with a finger. "They don't have dryers here, do they?"

"Don't think so. I think that you have to hang them to dry."

I nod for a couple seconds until he gives me a strange look. I sigh.  
"Um, yeah. I'm not used to this. Where do can we hang them to dry? Can we hang them outside of our windows or something?"  
Kankuro laughs out loud, giving me pat on the shoulder.  
"You could try! But how? Build a hanger? That could work, but then the window wouldn't be able to close anymore. Nah, you should probably just hang them to dry on that huge balcony. You know, you have to go through the dorm floor to get there?"  
"Oh yeeeeaaah... That makes so much sense!"

We both walk up the tower, and about halfway through, I start quickening my pace.  
"Whoah, Himeko-chan? What's the rush?" chuckles the ninja, catching up to me.  
I look at him sheepishly.  
"Let's just say that these corridors make me feel as if I'm in some type of horror movie. I mean, I can go anywhere perfectly fine, as long as I run like hell!"

He laughs even more and forces me to slow down.  
"You like hanging around Gaara, but you are scared of the Tower?"  
"Exactly."  
"Well, that doesn't make much sense! And quit worrying, the obsessive murderer never goes after the girl if a super tough ninja with chocolate bar abs is with her right?"

"If you say that, then the murderer will decide that he prefers abs to boobs and go after you instead."

We look at each other and start acting as if we are on laughing gas again, not stopping our slow walking for a second.  
After a few moments, Kankuro calms down and looks at me with a huge grin on his face.  
"I can't believe that you can make me smile so much! You're a hilarious wacko. Well, only a crazy girl would like Gaara anyway. But, anyway, we should hang out more often. I miss the sound of my own laughter sometimes..."  
I grin back at him, skip down the corridor and do a little twirl with my basket.

"Totally! You're awesome Kankuro-kun! We should, like, join forces in making this world a place for funny crazies and daily hugs! Shinobi... no, wait... Perverted crazies unite!" I shout down the corridor.  
The ninja rolls his eyes, his grin not leaving his face.

At this moment, we didn't realize that we had walked right past our rooms and automatically went towards the staircase that lead upstairs.

My team was probably still in our room, doing I-don't-know-what. Most likely wondering who were the drunk people laughing so loudly behind the door.

At this moment, I took the time to wonder where everybody, in particular a certain redhead, was.  
The other teams should be training, but Gaara and Temari would probably be somewhere else.  
My guess was the common room or the library.

The top of the stairs opened to a large, spacy balcony. It felt quiet, peaceful and safe here.  
"Wow! The view is pretty nice from here! The forest still looks creepy though!" I say, carefully leaning over the handrail. "Heh! And it's really high too!"  
Kankuro had found metal poles and some string, and set out to make a place to hang our wet laundry.  
He looked so pro at it that I didn't want to slow him down by trying to help, I just let him do it.

When he had finished, we hung all the clothes up to dry.

The ninja noticed that I was pretty silent, so he looked slightly worried at me.

"What's wrong? Still thinking about horror movie murderers?"  
I chuckled, but it sounded empty even to me.  
"This Tower is just too damn big for me. I'm the 'nice and cozy' type. Not the 'huge ass filled with long, dark, twisting corridors' type. It was cool for the first day, but now I'm starting to dread leaving my room." I groaned, putting a wet shirt to my forehead to make it feel cool. "But whatever. I still feels epic and adventurous just by going to the kitchen, so I shouldn't be complaining. I'm just going to have suck it up and get used to it until we can leave."

Before Kankuro can say anything, I spot something over his shoulder, gasp and point at it.  
"Oh my god! Look! A secret door! Cool!" I run over to the door that was previously hidden away in the shadows, escaping my notice. I move to open it, but then decide that I would rather save some exploration of this place for another day. Hopefully when I would be with more that one other person.  
Since the ninja with me doesn't ask me to open the door, I walk away from it, excited and hyper again.  
"I love these secret freaky passage things! It's just like in books!" I squeal, hanging up the rest of the laundry.

Kankuro just grunts and rolls his eyes.  
"One minute your terrified, then the other you're all happy. I will never get you women."  
"Oh yeah? Well, guys are hard to get too! We just can't be sure why you are randomly sad and depressive sometimes. When we ask what is wrong, you try to act all buff and tough, but really it's frustrating and just makes 'us women' want to punch your face off. Just saying."

I take both of our baskets and pile them in a corner for later use when I'll come up to get the dried clothes.

The puppet-nin snorts but stays silent. Very smart of him.  
We walk back down to the dorm floor and part ways in front of our doors.  
"Ne, Kankuro-kun? How long does it take for washing to dry?" I ask him curiously. He ponders the answer for a moment.  
"Well, since it's summer it shouldn't take too long. Maybe a day."  
"Oh, OK! Thanks! See yah around Kankuro-kun! Say hi to your siblings for me!"  
"Yeah, whatever. Nice hanging out with you Himeko-chan!"

With that, we both enter our own rooms.

I find Yuuki and Ryo trying to make Simba do triple flips off the bed. No joke.  
"Come on kitty! Just try launch yourself with your back legs and do a tumble. Not to hard right?" cooed Yuuki to a very confused kitten indeed.  
"Yeah! You have nine lives anyway right?" adds Ryo.

"What the eff are you two doing? Are you morons? Or are you trying to kill Simba?" I say.  
Apparently, my friends didn't hear me open the door, because they turned around and screamed, hugging each other. The small cat hisses in surprise and squeezes itself underneath Ryo's bed.

I can't help but laugh at the scene in front of me.

"Oh. Hime-chan it's just you. Sheesh, never do that again!" gasps my cousin, hastily letting go of our teammate, who is sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.  
"You seriously did all of that laundry? You're just gonna have to do it again in a couple days. Or tomorrow, judging by how OCD you are."

I just shrug and try to make Simba come out of hiding. I succeed and a purring ball of fur starts rubbing itself against my leg.  
"I don't mind. It's pretty quick anyway. Hey, kitty-chan, are you hungry? Let's go get him something to eat guys!"  
Nobody disagrees with me and all three of us leave for the kitchen.

We jog there, with me holding Simba in my arms.  
After rummaging through the cupboards, we find a bowl and I summon some dried meat snacks from my scroll to give to the cat, making a mental note to buy it proper feline food once we're out of this tower. I also pour it a bowl of water (since having milk in my scroll would probably not be a good idea, because paper and ink don't make a good refrigerator).

Once all of that is over, my friends and I have a quick, early dinner.

And once _that_ is over, we go back to our room to grab some clean, comfortable clothes and leave Simba on a bed (he didn't have any fleas, according to Ryo), before leaving for the bathhouse.  
Since the bathhouse is much more exciting with more people, we decide to just take a quick shower and then return to the little hideout that is our bedroom.

"See, Hime-chan? I told you that you should have waited before doing the laundry!" says Yuuki, placing her folded dirty cloths on a chair. I shrug.  
"Well, just put _neatly_ there and I'll wash them another time. So... What do you guys want to do now?" I ask sitting cross legged on my bed.

"Hey! Help me update my Best of!" I suddenly shouted, taking out my laptop.  
They both gladly agreed.

_Best of! _"_I am still human and have a natural reaction to your... comical discomfort." -Shino Aburame_

_"Himeko-san, you are not normal. Who are you? What are you?"-Sasuke Uchiha_  
_"Um... A girl?" -Himeko  
"Stop messing with me!" -Sasuke Uchiha  
"Huh? What do you mean Sasuke-kun? I am a girl. Do you need proof?" -Himeko  
_  
_"What did you just call me?" -Kankuro_  
_"A perv. I know that you are, don't deny it. Oh, and there is this series called Make-Out Paradise if you're interested. I hear that it is very... graphic." -Himeko_  
_"I've already read all of the books." -Kankuro _

_"I called him Kankuro. I pretended that he was my real brother, until I realized that I didn't need him. So I got rid of him by shredding him to pieces." -Gaara  
_

"What do I add to it? Does anyone remember anything?" I ask.  
Ryp grabs the computer from me a starts typing.

__

"Why? Himeko-chan, why won't you let me zap him? His arms are filled with metal tubes, so it would be so cool to see..." -Ryo  
"No. You cannot taser anybody except in emergencies that include, but are not limited to, murder, rape or old pedophiles staring freakishly at you, got it?" -Himeko

After a short laughing session, inspiration suddenly hits me and I start maddly tapping the keyboard like a lunatic.

__

"I even know a girl who really likes you, but I can't tell you her name, because fans like to remain anonymous. I think." -Himeko  
"A girl huh? I'd like to meet her." -Kankuro  
"Oh... I said a girl? I meant a guy." -Himeko

"YOU! Who ever you are, you aren't my idiotic brother! So... please! Stay this way! I'd rather have you than the dumb ass I have to deal with everyday!" -Temari (about Kankuro)

"Because... Suna already hates me. But, if the Kazekage and Baki caught me cross dressing... I could never live it down." -Gaara

"You will pay brats... Watch out in the forest... I will come after you..." -Orochimaru  
"Oh my god! It's a date then?" -Yuuki  
"Are you mocking me?" -Orochimaru.  
"Yes!" -Us

"I think that all that popcorn has finally gotten to her brain." -Ryo

"Ah... I think that all this relaxing heat is melting my brain..." -Temari

"Oh my god... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!" -still Temari

"Bathhouse... Boys... NAKED MEN!" -Ryo

"Oh my god... Who is the punk who took my food? I bet that it was Sasuke... I knew that there was something strange about that guy the second he gave me those cookies!" -Himeko (lack of sleep)

"Gaara-kun... You would make an awesome dancer... 'Cause your ass is nice..." -Himeko (needs to sleep more)

"I want to make some delicious edible stuff, since my dream has inspired me to do so!" -Himeko (and ninja scheduals really don't mix)

"Come on kitty! Just try launch yourself with your back legs and do a tumble. Not to hard right?" -Moron number 1 (Yuuki to Simba)  
"Yeah! You have nine lives anyway right?" -Moron number 2 (Ryo to Simba)

"Wow! Nice memory." compliments Yuuki, rolling on the bed, laughing. She is not 'rofl'-ing, but 'robl'-ing. Heh, that's weird.  
"Well, Best of! Is now updated, now what?"

We put our heads together to think and decide to watch a few movies on my laptop (it doesn't seem to round out of battery as quickly in this world, which is great, because I need to go buy a plug adapter for the charger).  
In the next few hours, we watch the fifth Star Wars and, just for the heck of it and old time's sake, a Barbie movie.  
Hey, everyone secretly likes those, no matter how old they are, whether there are boy or girl! Or, at least I think so anyway.  
Simba seems to like it, since he just watches the screen, looking fascinated.

By the time that's over, it's pitch black outside so we close the windows, brush our teeth and lie down in our beds, ready for a good night's sleep.  
"Himeko-chan, make sure that you get some shut eye, OK? We don't want you acting all effed up in the morning again." calls Yuuki from across the room.

After about ten minutes, I can tell that none of us are falling asleep anytime soon.  
"Not really tired." sighs Ryo, sitting up on his bed. I get up and turn on the lights. Yuuki walks over and sits on my bed, making sure that she doesn't accidentally bang into the chair with the laundry on it, since that is the place that Simba decided to sleep on.  
"So, now what? I don't really want to leave this room at this time of the night." she says, swinging her legs and letting herself fall back onto her... back.

"Wanna watch another Star Wars movie?" I suggest, getting out my laptop since I already know their answer anyway.  
"Yes!" they chorus, before all three of us turn my bed into our personal theater. Again.

…

**Yes, random ending, I know.  
I just watched a Barbie movie with my brother, so blame that. I love Star Wars too. Darth Vader is awesome.**

**So, I hope that you enjoyed that little Kankuro and Himeko friendship bonding chapter! I love all of the SandSibs, as you can probably tell.  
Gah... I can't wait 'till my exams and stuffs are over. And projects. I now update at around the end of each month, if I'm correct...  
Sorry about that. One month is a long wait, but for now, that is all that I can manage. I will try to be earlier for Chirstmas! You might even get a little bonus 'The Battle Plan' chapter as a gift... I'm currently brainstorming that. I've got a couple ideas for it. No promises. **

**But don't worry, you will still get the usual chapter as well! **

**Loving my readers and reviews! Thank you guys! I hope that you review this chapter as well, even if I don't deserve it for updating so late!**  
**Peace, love and cookies,**  
**XOXO~~~ HimekoUchia (authoress, busy but still random)**


	20. Akatsuki: Pessimism and Staircases

**Hello readers! Thank you for your reviews! They make me smile and laugh and make my day!  
So this isn't the usual 'The Battle Plan' chapter! It doesn't really follow the original time-line, but it is set about a week after the Konoha invasion, which my story still hasn't reached. This 'plot' won't be in the original 'The Battle Plan', so it is just a little mini series called 'The Akatsuki Plan' that will be updated for special holidays and occasions. The chapters should be longer that usual Battle Plan chapters, since there are less of them.  
Yep! That's right! Its the Akatsuki version of 'The Battle Plan'. Love the idea? Hate it? Well, it's once in a while, and you still get the usual. So, for our 20th** **chapter overall... **

**The Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 1: Pessimism and Staircases. **

**HimekoUchia: I think that I should totally own the Akatsuki. Then, they would spend their days singing Broadway music to take over the world!  
Madara: You see! This is why you stupid fans don't own the Naruto series!  
HimekoUchia: OMG ewwww! It's Madara! Be Tobi! Be Tobi!  
Madara: … This is why I hate the world.  
HimekoUchia: *picks up knife* Hey! Come here Madara! *runs after screaming ninja* I do not own anything Naruto related! Or anything that doesn't belong to me! And please excuse my lack of knowledge on the Akatsuki! I didn't read the entire manga! Only the last thirty or so chapters, about fifteen entire manga volumes and random chapters here and there. **

…

"You idiot! Did you lose the map again?" hollers Ryo, looking about ready to eat Yuuki alive.  
We have been searching for the Akatsuki base for hours already, and we were doomed for failure the second my cousin took over map duty. Big mistake.  
"Urg. Forget it Ryo-kun. Let's put our minds together and think of a way to solve this!" I say, walking around, touching trees, trying to see something familiar.

Something familiar. In a forest. Somewhere in the countries. And we were looking for a _hidden_ base.  
"Do you want help?" asked Yuuki.  
We're screwed.

I'm not blaming my teammate, but she must have the lousiest sense of direction in the history of lousy sense of directions. And that is _me_ talking. Good thing we have Ryo.  
"I'm going to climb a tree and look for a suspicious looking boulder. See ya in a few." he says, ninja hopping up onto branches, higher and higher up into the sky until I am pretty sure that a fall would be extremely painful.

"I FOUND THE MAP!" suddenly yelled Yuuki, scaring the living bleep out of me.  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" came a shriek from above.  
"Ryo! Watch out!"

I scream and cover my eyes, waiting for the worst to come. Naturally, it doesn't.  
After a few minutes, and still no moans of agony, I tentatively peek between my fingers.  
"Ahem. Can you snap out of it and help my down? I'm starting to get light headed..."  
Yuuki and I erupt in laughter when we see the only boy on our team hanging upside down, his right foot caught in a trap that was probably placed onto one of the branches he hit on his way down.

"Wow! That could have been fatal Ryo-kun! Lucky that this rope caught you..." I sigh, running up a tree, grabbing a kunai and cutting the trap so that my teammate can land on the ground, after doing a front flip and ending up on his feet. He brushes the leaves and dirt off of his shirt, acting like a pro when he was hanging upside down just a second ago.  
"Guys..." Ryo and I both turn towards Yuuki, who looks excited but scared at the same time. "If a trap was placed on that tree... Who do you recon set it up?" she grins, but screams when she is nearly hit by a stray kunai that flew out of nowhere.

My squad and I immediately move into our defensive formation, all three of us closely back to back, weapons out, shields up and ready to... well, not kill, but let's say that we were ready to talk our attacker out of attacking us, since we weren't too keen on being targeted by evil ninja.

After a few seconds of short, quick breaths, we heard a rustling in the leaves and a slightly familiar, low and creepy voice was heard.  
"The brat dodged it..."  
I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but then the kunai that had flown at us, that was laying abandoned on the floor, suddenly started moving towards the trees. Hey... chakra strings? Does that mean that our attacker was...

A dark, wooden puppet emerged from the tree, spiky tailed with large, nutcracker teeth.  
A silence roamed the clearing and I just said the first thing that went through me head to break it.  
"Dude... That is one FUGLY turtle..."  
I slapped my hand over my mouth when I realized how insulting and rude that was.  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be-..."  
"Hahahaha... You see, Sasori-dana, hm? Even this kid agrees that your art isn't beautiful. Hm! As I said, true beauty is seen for only a fleeting moment before it goes out with a bang!" came another voice, which sounded young.

Any hesitation as to who these two people were flew away.  
"Oh my effing god... Sasori-san and Deidara-san of the Akatsuki... HOLY SHIT AKATSUKI!" I screamed and ran over to Sasori in his fugly turtle Hiruko puppet. I starting hopping up and down like a really needed to pee, grabbed a pen and paper and starting waving it in front of the S rank criminal's face, ignoring my friend's shouts and warnings. "OH MY GOD SASORI-SAN I LOVE YOU! You are so cool! Autograph! Please please please please!"

After a second of total confusion, the ninja reacted by slashing my perfect piece of paper with his puppet's poisoned metal tail. I stared, aghast, at the waste.  
"Sasori-san... We had to cut a tree down to make that paper... That wasn't good for the environment..."  
"Who the hell are you brats? How do you know who I am? And... are you stupid?" he growled, blinking his puppet eyes. Creepy.  
"I'm Tanaka Himeko. Enchantée to meet you! My friends are Tanaka Yuuki and Murakami Ryo. That's the guy. I am psychic and no, I am not stupid. My paper is recycled, but still... Don't you want to sign a fan's autograph?" I tried again.

"No." he said through clenched teeth.  
"Fine, fine... sheesh, somebody ate bitch-flakes this morning..." I mumble under my breath, silently hoping that Sasori didn't hear me. I think he did, but he was interrupted before he could speak.  
"Hm, you've got guts, kid, for talking to Sasori-dana like that, hm. Want my autograph before we eliminate you for trespassing, hm?" asked Deidara, stepping out of the trees.

He, just like in the manga, has a long, feminine ponytail covering half of his face. But the rest of him was _very_ manly. He was kinda cute and handsome at the same time... And, he was... about four years older than me. I sighed. A girl can still day dream.  
I started jumping up and down again, storing the life threat aside for later. I produced a new piece of paper out of thin air and handed it to the S ranked criminal.  
"Oh my gawd! Deidara-san! You are so good looking and strong! I LOVE YOU!"  
Fangirl-ness to the max.

The blond Iwa-nin seemed to enjoy attention, for he grinned and signed my autograph.  
Sasori just stared at him and sighed.  
"Brat... You are even worse than these pesky kids. Lets kill them already." he said impatiently, slashing his tail at me, intending to impale me.

I jumped out of the way just in time and landed back with my friends, and we all shoved our mental shields out to protect us from the rain of needle, kunai and bombs that were hurled our way.  
"Nice work Yuuki-chan! Thanks to your scream that made Ryo-kun set off that trap, we have managed to summon the Akatsuki!"  
"Thanks!"  
"Um... Girls? They are trying to kill us, hello!" pointed out Ryo, cringing when another needle plants itself into our shield before jelly bouncing to the floor.

We let the two S rank criminals continue their attack until they realize that no matter what they do, they aren't getting rid of us now.

"Hm? That's an impressive shield you kids have got there, hm... Where are you from? What are you doing here, hm?" asked Deidara, raising the eyebrow that we can see, sounding serious but curious at the same time.  
"We come from no ninja land. We come from a place where people try to fight for love and peace, and though that is a nearly impossible mission, we have hope that it might succeed one day. But if you want a village name, well, we've spent some time in the Land of Fire recently. They've got great food there. And we are here because we really wanted to meet you guys!" I say happily.

"How did you locate the base you brats?" asked Sasori, not as nicely as Deidara. I huff a little.  
"We aren't brats! Uh... Actually... Whatever. We've manage to find this place by accidentally getting lost, but we were nudged in this general direction with the help of a map, a compass, a manga and a little tracking device we've stuck onto Itachi's cloak when he passed by Konoha weeks ago. We didn't actually see him, but when he was eating in that dango shop with Kisame, his cloudy cloak was poking out from under the shop sign, so that was a pretty good opportunity..." I answer, curiously observing the two ninja's reaction.

Sasori grunted, clearly not impressed, but Deidara burst out laughing.  
"Hahahaha! How careless for an Uchiha, hm! I can't believe that he didn't notice something like that, hm! I thought that he was the best or something. Hm! Hm! Hm! That shows that he isn't!"  
"Shut up. He might be careless, but at least _he_ wasn't the idiot who nearly blew us up on the way here." snarled the rogue Suna ninja, staring pointedly at Deidara.

"Hm. Whatever, Sasori-dana... Since we can't attack these kiddos, should we bring them to the base? Leader-sama should be back from Amegakure in a few days anyway. He could easily deal with them." suggested the blond man. On the inside, I was screaming 'YES YES YES! Bring us to your base so that we can meet the other Akatsuki!' but of course, that would have been going a little too far.  
"Deidara. Why should we bring them to the base when we can perfectly well kill them right _now_ if we try. Those shields won't last forever. Their chakra would eventually run out, and since we can actually see it, it must be using a lot of energy to keep up." snapped Sasori back at him. Now, this is when I decided to step in.

"Ah, but it will never run out, you see! We do not use chakra for our shields! We use... uh... What do we use?" I turned to my friends, but they just shrugged. Excuse time. "Oh! Right! They use mental, emotional and spiritual love energy. The kind that lasts forever."  
The two men looked at me as if I were stupid. I faked a shocked expression.  
"What? Don't tell me that you've never heard of that awesome love energy? It's, like, super common in the south! Everyone uses it there! Almost as much as Itachi loves dango!" I yell.

This time, Sasori and Deidara exchange a glance.  
"What does Itachi-san's love for rice dumplings have to do with crazy energy, hm? Hm... Sasori-dana... I really think that we should leave this to Leader-sama, hm. Beside, I sort of like these three... They managed to trick even an Uchiha, hm. We could even get to know them before they get taken care of! Hm?" asked Deidara, trying to convince his more experienced partner that leaving us alive for a few more days was not a problem. Go Deidara!

Sasori looked extremely pissed and turned around.  
"Fine. Let Leader-sama deal with the brats. Let's just go back to the base, I'm getting bored."

I mentally happy danced, and my friends and I exchanged grins.  
We weren't too worried about the whole 'let the guy with the Rinnengan take care of us' thing. All we could think about was 'Oh my god! We are going to meet the Akatsuki! Yay!'  
"Follow us kiddos. Hm. Don't get any ideas. We won't let you escape, hm!"

When we turned back to the two artists, they had already started walking into the trees. We had to jog to keep up, but in a few seconds, we were standing beside _Sasori_ and _Deidara_ once again. Fangirl-ness does not wear off to quickly.  
"So... Hi! It's really nice to meet you two! You guys are like, my favorite of the Akatsuki, with a couple of other people!" I say, smiling as nicely as possible.  
Deidara smiled back and opened his mouth to speak but, this time, he was the one that got interrupted.

"Keep your mouth shut brat. I don't know how you know who we are, or who you think you are, but this is you last warning. I won't hesitate." growled Sasori, relatively calmly, not even turning around.

I glare holes into his back. Gosh, what's his problem?  
"Dude. Three letters! P. M. S.! I get it, it isn't easy, but this is just some things we peeps gotta deal with. So don't lash out on us just 'cause it's your time of month! It's mean." I shout at him, only half regretting the words once they leave my mouth.

Sasori froze.

Damn. I should have wrote my will...

Nobody says anything, and the puppet slowly, creepily turns around.  
"What did you just say brat?" he said monotonously.  
"Nothing." I mumbled, starting to get freaked out.

Suddenly, a scary puppet was up in my face.  
"Listen here you little brat. You are just wasting my time. The second that I catch you without your stupid shield... I will kill you. And your stupid little friends too." he seethes, his deep voice burning with venom.  
I couldn't help but notice that he sounded a lot like the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. But I managed to hold that in. "I will kill you. Believe me, brat, I will. I will add you to my collection of puppets."  
"Sasori-san... Wouldn't you feel bad for killing a young little girl?" I ask him tentatively, trying to wiggle out of the uncomfortable hold he has on me.

Sasori gnashed his wooden teeth together, making everyone flinch.  
"Feel? I am a puppet. I do not feel anything. No pain, no hurt. I am eternal." he says, with a hint of pride in his voice.  
I laugh. Everybody gives me a questioning look. I shake my head and grin at the Akatsuki.  
"Sasori-san... You say that you don't feel? But you are pissed at me. And being pissed counts as a feeling you know? So does being impatient and bored. And if you can be all that, then you must be able to love. I know that you know how to. You may be a puppet, but you still have a heart! Pun intended."

After a minute of silence (...burn), Sasori lets go of me, starts walking away, then turns his head all the way around (EW!) and says:  
"My heart is like my body. Emotionless and feeling-less. But I am impatient, so don't keep me waiting."

And then he is off again. I turn and whisper to Deidara.  
"I think that he has feeling. He is pretty irritable. That counts, right, Deidara-san?"  
He grunts and gestures to my friends and I to follow him.  
"Can't really tell, kid-..."  
"Himeko!"  
"Can't really tell, Himeko-san-..."  
"Himeko-chan!"  
"Hm! Fine! I can't really tell, Himeko-chan. Sasori-danna is the type of guy that manages to get impatient, bored, angry, mad, rude, bossy, sour, stingy ALL with the same facial expression and tone of voice, hm."

My friends, Deidara and I all chuckle for a minute. Ah, the beauty of being young and human. Poor Sasori-puppet...  
Oh great... I had to start feeling bad for that short tempered wooden ninja.  
I slowly walk over to him, leaving Yuuki and Ryo with Deidara. They seem to be getting on pretty well,

I know that Sasori knows that I know that he knows that I was walking closer and closer to him.  
"What do you want brat?" he ask emotionlessly. He likes saying 'brat' just as much as Deidara likes saying 'hm'... I take a deep breath and answer his question.  
"Sasori-san... I wanted to apologize for calling Hiruko ugly... I know that you really love your art and find it eternally beautiful and stuff... So I'm sorry if I offended you. I sort of guessed that that was why you seemed to particularly hate me."

He turns his puppet head at me and stares at me. I can't really tell how he is feelings since Hiruko's eyes are made of wood. Gosh, I can't wait to see his real self. Even if his real self is also a puppet, at least he looks more human. Plus, he has red hair. And everyone knows how much I like guys with red hair, even if was, like, 30 something.  
Buuuut none of this mattered since he was still inside his dreadlocks sporting, hunch backed puppet.

And he is still staring at me. OK. Cool... not. If you had a huge wooden turtle staring at you, you would be freaked out and try to get him to say something.  
"Um... So, Sasori-san... Ya know, back where I come from, there are so many types of arts. There is fleeting art, the type that Deidara likes. Fireworks. And there is, of course, so much eternal, historical art that will always be beautiful through the ages. We have art that is hundreds, even _thousands_ of years old, which never decomposes. It's pretty awesome. We even have... audiovisual art! Which is pictures that you can hear and sounds that you can see! Paintings and music and such... Um... But old art is normally the most valuable of all and it is normally the most _treasured_ of all! There are even some monuments that are considered eternal-..."  
"For how long are you able to talk about the superiority of everlasting art?" interrupts Sasori. Finally.

I smile at him and rub the back of my head.  
"Well, I can't be sure... But when I talk about something that is super awesome, I can go on for quite some time and-..."  
"Fine. I no longer want to kill you for insulting my art. I now just want to kill you for all the other stuff."

I happy dance for a little while. That's better than nothing right?  
"Yay! Gosh, that took quite some time! You see, the thing is, if I know that someone is pissed at me for something I said, I tend to feel soooo guilty forever and ever until I get that person to forgive me. People say that I worry too much sometimes and-..."  
"My 'feelings' aren't hurt because they don't exist. However, my impatience for useless chatter is real. Get the message, brat?" he deadpans, turning his head away from me and going on with his walk.  
"Roger that! I'll stop bothering you now. Thanks for listening though." I grin at him, at the Sasori that I know is inside the puppet that is inside this turtle puppet. In other words, at him. Not at all this wood. Because nobody smiles to wood. That would just make you a creep. Can you imagine someone smiling at a table? You get the picture.

I slow down so that I end up walking next to Deidara again. I have a feeling that Sasori just likes his space.  
The Iwa-nin lowers his voice so that his partner doesn't hear him.  
"What was that about, hm?" he whispers.  
"We just talked about art for a minute. Then, he indirectly told me to shut the hell up when I started talking about random stuff." I answer.

He nods and tries to say something, but he is yet again interrupted by Sasori.  
"We're approaching the base. Knock them out."

My friends and I sigh in unison. Knock them out. Kill them. Turn them into puppets. How nice of all these ninjas.  
"Forget it. Are shields are still up, so making us KO isn't possible. How about blindfolds? Is that fine with you guys? Just don't let us trip."  
The two Akatsuki think about my proposition for a minute before both nodding.

I summon three blindfolds from my handy scroll and hand one to each of my friends. I keep a purple one with light blue polka dots on it.  
After the blindfold is securely attached around my head, all I can see is darkness. I am extremely tempted to peek in that little gap that is right beside my nose, but that would just mean more trouble with ninja terrorists.

I suddenly flinch when someone picks me up.  
"Huh! Hey! What are you-..."  
"Hm. Relax, will ya? Just sit down here and don't move." comes Deidara's voice.  
I feel my butt touching something kind of squishy. Clay. Phew. For a moment there, I thought that he was going to put me on Sasori's puppet's back. I do not like that turtle one little bit.

Judging by the wind I can feel, I assume that we all flying on a big white clay bird. Pity that I have this blindfold on. I would have really wanted to watch this.  
"OH MY GOSH! We're flying in the air!" I hear Yuuki's voice shriek on my right.  
"If you don't quiet down, then you are going back to the ground the hard way brat."  
After Sasori's calm threat, the rest of the journey is pretty silent.

I stick my nails deep into the clay, because not being able to see anything is kind of stressful.  
The good news is that the trip only took about a minute, then I could feel the soft thud of the bird landing somewhere in the unknown world. Of blindfolded darkness.  
"Can we take these off now?" asks Ryo cautiously. Ah, he's on my right as well.

I squeak when Deidara lifts me off the bird and sets me on the ground.  
"Yeah. But don't try to escape or wander around, hm. The base is completely rigged with traps _everywhere_, hm."

I happily yank off that piece of cloth that was blocking my vision and stuff it into my pocket.  
I look around at the infamous Akatsuki base. I gasp.

It looks like one of those underground caves that you see in Lord of the Rings, Journey to the Center of the Earth or any of those caverns with huge pillars and a gigantic swirly staircase along the wall that leads up to the ceiling and leads down to... I slowing extend my neck to see... and leads down to a flat floor with a bunch of tables and couches. Must be the place that they rest between missions.  
I carefully stand straight again. The 'common room' is about five stories down, so falling is not a good idea.  
Along the wall is, as I said, the main staircase, and many, many other staircases and a bunch of doors. Bedrooms? Maybe. Possibly.

Wow. The Akatsuki base is very... architectural. And all these staircases kinda remind me of Hogwarts. I don't think that the stairs move though.

"Nice place." my friends and I say in anime unison.  
"Thank you." reply Deidara and Sasori, in unison as well.  
Wow, creepy. All five of us actually have a little... moment where we just stare at each other.

Then, we all look away as if nothing even happened.

"Are any of the other Akatsuki here?" I ask the two ninja, following them as they start walking down a staircase.  
Deidara looks over his shoulder at me.  
"Everybody is busy in the Akatsuki, hm. Leader-sama, Konan-sama, Tobi and are all in Amegakure. Kakuzu-san and Hidan-san are on a mission. Itachi-san and Kisame-sama are on a mission. Zetsu-san is somewhere. Why do you even want to know, hm?"  
I feel my heart sink in disappointment. Damn, nobody else is here!  
"I dunno. I just wanted to know if we were all alone here or not."

"Deidara-san... Sasori-san... Are you two the only ones who aren't on a mission then?" asks Yuuki, gripping the wall tightly. Nobody wants to fall off this staircase.  
Sasori, who is make a clunking sound whilst walking down the steps, huffs, clearly irritated.  
"We are on a mission. Our mission is to guard the base from intruders or pesky brats. Besides, once one of the teams complete their mission, they will return." he replies.  
My friends and I all 'ooooh' and stay silent.

When we reach the bottom of the staircase, I am super relieved. Finally, safe ground.  
Sasori turned away from us and started walking towards another staircase, which led to a door which I presumed was his room.  
However, Deidara kept on walking across the room, making sure that we were following him. He opened a large door and behind it was... a staircase leading down.  
Oh my god, what is with this base and staircases?

So we walk down the stairs and it is pretty damn dark. Once I reach the bottom, I look around.  
So there is Ryo, Yuuki and... where did Deidara go?

I hear a door slam and a clicking noise as it locks. Everything goes pitch black and eerily silent as reality sinks in.

…

…

Silence.

...

"SONUVABITCH! He locked us in!" I yell, punching a wall.  
"Guys! I really hate being down here! It's scary! What if there is a rotting corpse around?" gasps Yuuki, grabbing onto my arm.  
Since it was completely dark, I squeak and nearly punch her in the face in fear.  
I then feel another pair of hands grabbing my arm. Curses.  
"Sheesh. Chilax. It's just me." comes Ryo's voice, making me sigh in relief. "Himeko-chan? You can teleport us out right?"

I smirk in the darkness.  
"Duh."

…

Wow, it feels nice to out of that crypt of doom.  
I look at my friends and put my finger to my lips, indicating them to keep quiet.  
We are back in the Akatsuki common room, and Deidara is sitting on a couch, his back facing us. Good.

We all creep over to him, as inaudible as cats.  
I mouth one, two, three then we all jump over the couch and land on it so that we end up sitting next to Deidara, who is sandwiched between Ryo and I.

The blond man actually lets out a squeal of fear before jumping off of the couch, doing a front flip, landing on his feet in a ninja pose, hands extended, palm mouths spitting clay bombs at us.  
My friends and I stretch our shield so that it covers up the couch as well, but otherwise, we just sit on it and observe the Iwa-nin, unfazed.  
He stops the bombing and engages us in a stare down.

Three against one, he eventually blinks.

"What... How did you kids get up here, hm?" he yells. "Go back! Now!"  
I shoot him a glance that says 'in-your-dreams-Barbie'.  
"Um... No. Come on, Deidara-san! Why did you lock us in a dungeon? Can you just let us roam free out here? We'll behave and not try to escape. We'll even just stay in this area if you want, since you said that the entire base was booby-trapped. Please?" I beg, batting my eyelashes at the criminal.

"No! Get back in there! Or I will make you! Hm!" he shouts.

I nearly expect him to throw a fit and start jumping up and down, flailing his arms. But he is, like, a nearly grown man, so that would have been embarrassing to see. Then again, he is still a teen, just like us.  
"Then we will just teleport back out and use our magic shields to protect us." says Ryo, shrugging and crossing his arms.  
"I don't give a damn, hm! Go back and stay in there!"

"Deidara. Let them stay."

We all turn towards Sasori, who we hadn't notice had been standing there for some time.  
Sasori was no longer inside of his hideous turtle puppet. He was in his own puppet body, but he looked pretty human. He was simply wearing his Akatsuki cloak.

Wow, he had really nice, huge brown eyes. And nice red hair. And a _very_ nice voice.  
"Damn! Sasori, you are a _fine_ piece of art! I don't care if you're 30 or not, I'll have a piece of ya any day!" whistles Yuuki. Wow, she sounded like me there.  
"I was gonna say the exact same thing." I add, high five-ing my cousin and staring at the Akatsuki member. "Is it me, or are all Suna ninjas so hot? Kankuro, Temari, Gaara, Gaara's dad and Sasori..."

Ryo and Deidara stare at Yuuki and I, shocked and slightly disturbed.  
"Hey, we can't help it if Sasori-san is so cute!" I huff, shoving Ryo in the ribs to make him stop staring at me as if I were mental.  
I turned back to the Suna-nin. Yes, I do realize that my blond friend and I just shamelessly fangirled him to the max. He didn't even flinch though. All hail the puppet poker face.  
"Actually, I'm 32." he says.  
"Awesome." Yuuki and I reply at the same time.

OK, now I think that I saw a hint of creeped-out-ness in the ninja's eyes. Hah.  
"Ignoring everything that just happened. Deidara, let the brats stay out here. There is an empty room on the fourth floor." says Sasori flatly. Somehow, when he said 'brat', it didn't sound just as menacing as when he said it when he was in Hiruko.

Wait... did he just say what I thought he said? Did he really ask his partner to not lock us in the dungeon?  
Judging by the way Deidara was staring at him, I think that yes.  
"But, Sasori-danna-..."  
"We'll leave their fate up to Leader-sama. You said so yourself, remember? As long as they shut up and don't try to escape, they shouldn't cause trouble." Sasori cuts him off.  
My friends and I all nod vigorously to show that we agree with his conditions.  
Deidara's eye twitched, but he sighs.  
"Fine, hm."

My friends do a little fist pump of victory, but they obviously aren't thinking what I am thinking.  
This was way too easy. Sasori is up to something. Why else would he let us have our way? As far as I know, he dislikes us more than Deidara does.  
Oh great, now I am starting to freak out and be pessimist. Chill out, Himeko. Enjoy the freedom since they are actually letting you have it.

"Thank you!" choruses my entire team.  
I have to admit though, suspicions or not, I do have an urge to hug the puppet master right now. I still value my life though. But this guy has definitely earned our admiration and respect.

Sasori walks over to the couch we are sitting on (not getting too close to Yuuki or I, after what we said about him) and points to a door high up on the wall.  
"That is your room. There are three beds and a bathroom in there." He points to another door. "That is storage room for bed sheets. Sort it out yourselves."  
He walks back up a staircase towards his room again.

Deidara sighs once more before turning towards us.  
"OK then. What else do you three need to know, hm? Oh, those double doors over there lead to the kitchen, hm." Instead of pointing to the door, he walks over to it, opens it and walks into the room, leaving us alone.  
Somehow, I have a feeling that we were observed. Pessimism again? Oh, wait, no. Sasori is still standing outside of his room, keeping an eye on us.

My team and I silently get three sets of bedsheets and find the correct staircase that leads us to the door that the redhead had indicated to us earlier.  
The room is simple but pretty nice for a cave. Three beds and door leading to the bathroom. It is no worse than the rooms we had to stay in during the chuunin exams, in that creepy tower.  
Then again, the Tower hadn't been inhabited by S ranked criminals.

Ryo, Yuuki and I hum a song whilst making our beds.  
When that is over, we decide to go sit right outside our door. We don't wander around because we don't feel like pissing the Akatsuki off so early into our stay.  
Sasori is no longer standing outside of his door, but I have a feeling that thy ninjas were keeping a close eye on us somehow. It was their job to do so now, after all.

After about three hours, we were still sitting there.

Yuuki had fallen asleep against Ryo's shoulder about half an hour ago. It wasn't even that late. I guess that the boredom has tired her out.  
Nobody had exited their room or anything. Sasori was still cooped up in his little space, doing god knows what.  
And Deidara was _still_ in the kitchen. Man, he was going to be huge when he came out.

Then something hit me. Maybe, inside of their rooms and kitchen and whatever, there were passages to move around the base without having to use the doors to exit? Gosh, that makes sense.

Right then, I heard a noise... coming from the ceiling. I quickly shoved Yuuki awake and Ryo out of his reverie. I bend over so that only they can hear my whisper.  
"Guys! I think that one of the Akatsuki teams are back from their mission!"

…

**So that is chapter one in the Akatsuki Battle Plan series. I hope that you look forward to more! Because more is coming! Maybe not very soon though. Maybe more often if I get positive feedback.  
You will still get your usual chapter. But all in good time. **

**Read, review, blah blah.**

**I don't know if I will post before I go on a break, so I will just tell you lovely readers now:  
In the beginning of January, I will be absent for 10 days. School trip to India. Super awesome! However, electronic devices are banned, therefore no internet. **

**Well, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year guys!  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	21. Like Cats and Dogs

**Chapter 21! Yay *applause* !  
OK, for those who didn't read the author's notes last time...  
*ABOUT THE AKATSUKI STORY*: The last chapter was the first chapter of a mini series where Himeko & Co. pay a little visit to our favorite terrorist group. It is in no way a continuation of the original 'The Battle Plan'. 'Cause if it was, then I would be an incredibly confusing writer.  
So, in that drop down chapter list, if there is 'Akatsuki:...' before the title, then it is no longer part of the original time-line. Capiche? Sorry if I confused people... Thanks for your wonderful reviews anyway.  
****'K, moving on.**

**Chuunin Exams: Day 3 in the Tower (FINALLY)**

**HimekoUchia: Ladidah. I will not be here for two weeks for I am going on a school trip to India. Just reminding those who don't normally read author's notes.  
Ryo: That's great... Sarcasm. But your readers want the chapter, not a story of your life, so go on with the disclaimer.  
HimekoUchia: Tsk. So sour boy. Do I have to do this every single chapter?  
****Yuuki: Yes. Yes you do. You never know who might try to sue you. So quit writing a mental conversation girl!  
****HimekoUchia: I do not own Naruto or anything really... Except for my three OCs. Masashi-sama owns those guys... And look at what he is doing to them... By the way, did you guys know that some of the lines in this story come from my actual life. Yeah.**  
**PS: I just learned how to put line breaks in here! Yay! I know, I suck.**

* * *

_Last Chapter (I had to do two parts or it didn't really make sense):_

_"Oh, OK! Thanks! See yah around Kankuro-kun! Say hi to your siblings for me!"  
"Yeah, whatever. Nice hanging out with you Himeko-chan!"_

_..._

_"Wanna watch another Star Wars movie?" I suggest, getting out my laptop since I already know their answer anyway._  
_"Yes!" they chorus, before all three of us turn my bed into our personal theater. Again._

* * *

"Aaaaaaaakkkkkhh! Pervert!"  
"NO! Yuuki! Don't-... OUCH! Don't bite me! HEY! You are the one who fell asleep on top of _me_! OW!"

I awaken with a start and fall off the bed with a gasp. No worries though, my face cushioned my fall.

I groan in pain and the room goes all silent. I hear the bed creaking as my two friends lean over to watch me as I roll onto my back and stare at them.  
"Um... Himeko-chan? Are you OK?" whispers Yuuki, biting her lip.  
"Uh-huh." I mumble and sit up. I look at Ryo.  
He is obviously trying to contain his laughter but fails miserably. He starts rolling on the bed, laughing. Since humor is so contagious, Yuuki starts r.o.b.l.-ling as well and I start laughing. I don't actually roll-on-the-floor-laughing 'cause then I would hit my head on the bed and pass out.

When we calm down, I get up and sit on the mattress next to them. I notice my laptop in sleep mode.  
"Hey... We fell asleep watching the movie... Wait a second... It's only 10:30 am? And you two dumb-nuts woke me up! Urg!" I cry out and fall back onto the bed and roll over.  
I suddenly hit the floor again.

"No! Himeko-chan, quit being such a lazy ass! Come on, get changed and lets go for breakfast." hollers Ryo, who was the one who pushed me off the bed. I glare, but listen to him anyway.  
So after we have changed out of our pajamas (exiling our male teammate into the bathroom of course), brushed our teeth, combed our hair, washed our face and all that blah, Yuuki picks Simba off of the floor and we leave.

The corridor is, not surprisingly, deserted. Ninja folk are up pretty early, so they are probably doing something like training or putting each others life in danger. Silly people, we are going to be here for a practically a week, so why rush?  
My team and I walk our way down the tower, not meeting anyone.  
"Guys what did you dream about last night?" I ask my friends casually. They both shrug and look at me. I shrug as well.  
"I don't remember either. I'm pretty sure that it had something to do with levitation." I reply, tapping my chin. Gosh, I hate it when I forget my dreams.

We enter the kitchen and work on something edible. I give little Simba some more meat snacks and some water. He gobbles it right up.  
"Hn. We need to bring this little guy for a pit stop. He didn't go to the bathroom since we found him... Good boy!" coos Yuuki, scratching the back of the cat's ear.  
Wow. Since we found him? This creature has amazing self control. I stare at the kitty for a minute, wondering if something might be unusual about it. It stares back at me. Then it blinks. Awww, I think that that means 'I love you' in cat language. Or it could mean 'Die bitch'. I mix up my Cat language sometimes. I pretty sure that it means 'I love you' though.

After we fixed up our own meal and finished eating it, we go into the outdoor training ground in hopes of meeting another team, but it is completely deserted. So we let the our little kitten do his business in the nature, then we leave again.  
"Where else could they be? Let's sit in our thinking chair!" I suggest. We all end up sitting on a tree trunk. Five minutes later, we've made a short lists of places that the ninjas could be, and mentally drew out the most strategical routes to follow if we don't want to end up lost or walking up and down this creepy tower.  
"So... We visit the the common room, the indoor training grounds, the library, then, the laundry room... Is that right? But isn't the indoor training grounds closer?" asks Yuuki.  
"The guy showed us that they were at the other end of the Tower. If we go the short way, we have to go past the bathhouse. If we go the long way, then we can pass the common room, which is far more likely to be occupied then the baths at this time of the day. Besides, what are we gonna do? Go into the showers to check if people are there? Heh, no. Plus, we don't want a repeat of _last time_." I look pointedly at Ryo at the last part. He huffs and crosses his arms.

Yuuki nods to show that she got my point. So we find Simba and pick him up, then we are off once again.

After a few moments of traveling, we are in front of the common room. The sign with the kanji on it was purple, like I remembered during the tour the chuunin gave us.  
"Wait... What about Akamaru? What would he do if he was in there and saw Simba?" suddenly asks Ryo. I ponder the question, shrug, then place the cat on my shoulder.  
"There. So Akamaru won't be able to reach him."

We slide open the double doors and look in. Empty apart from a bunch of benches and an Asian chess table.  
"Ah. I guess that our friends aren't exactly the social-bombs are they?" I sigh and slide the door shut again.  
We walk all the way down the corridor to another set of double doors. This time, the sign is yellow.  
"The sign for the indoor training ground is yellow right? It's not the out-of-bounds controller room?" I ask, just to make sure. We were lucky that they decided to color code all of their signs, it is almost like they knew we would come! But still, there were so many of them, it was quite easy to mix them up. And my kanji reading was oh-so limited.  
"Yup it's this one. The controller room's one was red, remember?" answers Yuuki, starting to slide the door open.

Oh, right.  
We step into the training ground.  
It was not as huge as the outdoor one, but it was quite spacey. It looked like the hall where the preliminaries are going to be held in a couple days, only the walls we covered in targets, the balconies were replaced with resting benches and a tree was growing out of ground in center of the room. It kinda made me want to build a tree-house. Oh, and the large statue and big screen were missing too.

"H-Himeko-san! Yuuki-san! Ryo-san!" came a familiar, soft voice.  
We snap of our 'oh-em-gee-a-huge-tree-is-growing-out-of-the-concrete-floor' awe and spot Hinata and Shino sitting in the corner of the room.  
"Oh! Hey Hinata-chan! Shino-kun! How are you guys? Training?" I smile and my team walks over to them.  
The Hyuuga smiles back and nods.  
"Yes. W-we've been training all m-morning." I don't miss the smirk that Ryo sends me. So what if I like sleeping in? Who doesn't? "We are n-nearly finished. K-Kiba-kun went to get something to e-eat." The girl twiddles her thumbs nervously, before realizing what she was doing. She places her hands on her crossed legs and brushes some dirt off of her pants.

"Yes. He is. Again. I swear, that boy eats too much to be healthy." adds Shino, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. Hinata sighs lightly and ruffles the back of her hair.  
"He d-does. B-but Akamaru need the n-nourishment as well!" she says, defending her dog-nin teammate.  
"True. He still has the appetite of an animal though... Oh." Shino realizes what he had just said.  
Everybody in the room (minus him) starts laughing for a moment.

The blue haired Hyuuga then looks at my shoulder.  
"Oh! Y-You have a c-cat! What is it c-called? You didn't seem t-to have him y-yesterday. Did you?" She giggles when the kitten jumps onto her lap and she nervously scratches his head. Of course, Hinata looked adorable doing so. It was her hidden talent. She always looked cute.  
"Aw, Simba likes you! Yeah, we found him yesterday afternoon, wandering outside of the Tower. We decided to keep him 'til we found his owner. He doesn't seem like a stray, since he behaves so well." laughs Yuuki. The tiny ball of fur then started purring and rubbing itself against Shino, who looked quite uncomfortable. "Heh. He likes you too Shino-kun! Simba seems to simply love people then?"

A shout, then a bark was suddenly heard.  
"HEY! Akamaru! Come back!" yelled Kiba, running towards us, his puppy bounding our way.  
His teeth were bared and his eyes were fixed on Simba. Oh shit.  
Before anyone could pick the cat up, it suddenly decided to make a run for the open doors.

Everyone watched, horrified, as Akamaru started chasing Simba out into the corridors. Not even our calls stopped then, so we all shared a look before hastily running after the two animals.  
We were like a human stampede, speeding our way past the arrival hall, only barely noticing that the door opened and a couple of familiar jonin stepped out, only to all jump back to avoid getting stomped to death.  
Must have been a sight to see. A tiny kitten being chased by a tiny dog being chased by a a crowd of six teenagers.

But one second later, they were a distant memory as we continued to pursue the two little creatures, that have damn good endurance. I guess that for Simba, it's kind of a life and death situation, for Akamaru, an eat or no eat situation.  
Why? Why did that adorable puppy just _have_ to be a cat hater? Couldn't they just get along? I've seen cats and dogs be best friends before. I guess that this just isn't one of those times then.

A door opens to our left and before that I can realize that it's the library, or that Kankuro was standing there, the animals pass under his legs and the poor guy gets shoved aside by Kiba.  
Once I get into to the room myself, I'm huffing for breath.  
I sigh in relief when I realize that the dog-nin has managed to catch his pet and get a tight hold on him.  
But Simba is still running frantically around the room. Yuuki, Ryo and I dash around the library, apologizing to Temari and Gaara when we nearly run them over, but eventually, we catch the crazy feline, managing to not get scratched.

Once we stand up and turn around, a horrified Kiba and Hinata and a frozen Shino are all staring at a pissed off Kankuro and a worried Temari who was staring at a mildly confused looking Gaara.  
A long silence roams the room as everyone glanced from us, to our cat, to Akamaru.

After a minute, I clear my throat and hold Simba out, pride-rock-from-Lion-King style.  
"People of the ninja world, behold the slightly-reduced-in-size King of the Jungle, Simba!" I announce.  
Kankuro grumbles a little before giving me an amused smile.  
"Yah saying that all of this was about that little ball of... stuff?" he asks. Wow, he nearly said 'little ball of fur and/or fluff'. I just cannot imagine his saying that. Especially not when he is all cat-woman-outfit-and-purple-war-paint.

I nod sheepishly. Kiba looks at me suspiciously.  
"Hey! Where did he come from? That thing wasn't around here yesterday!" he says, obviously a dog person. No surprise there.  
"Oh. We found him in wandering around the forest late afternoon, so we decided to keep him 'till we could find his owners." I repeated for the second time today. "Sorry 'bout the incident. Simba is really adorable and doesn't scratch or pee or have any flees. He likes everybody, as far as I know."  
"Oh. So he's yours?" he asks, taken aback.  
"Yep." I reply.  
"OK then. I thought that he was an intruder or something. Gosh, Akamaru, you nearly killed out _friend's _cat! Say sorry." growls the dog-nin, glaring at his puppy, who whines, sounding shameful. Kiba translates. "Akamaru says that he's sorry and that it won't happen again."

"Awww! Kawaii doggy! No worries. Nothing bad happened." coos Yuuki, making the nin-dog bark, happy again.

Temari puts down the book she was reading and comes over to me and start tickling Simba. He rubs his face against her's. The kunoichi looked starstruck.  
"He is so cute! Man, I wanted a cat when I was little but our father wouldn't hear of it. Heh. But this guy is especially adorable. Aren't you? Aren't you a sweetie?" she baby talks to the kitten, who purrs back at her. Wow, I wasn't expecting her to do that. Didn't see her as an animal lover, acting so tough and all.

"Kankuro. Temari is being possessed." suddenly came Gaara's voice, which sounded slightly panicked.  
Everybody turned in shock to stare at him, probably all thinking something along the lines of: "Oh my gosh. Did he just say that? That is so freaking' funny and adorable! I just want to give that hot redhead a hug!"  
At least, that was what I was thinking.

I chuckle and grin at the boy, who looks up at me, obviously not very happy that I laughed at him.  
Simba looks wide, kitty eyed at me, then at Gaara, and before I can try to figure out what just went through his tiny cat brain, he jumps out of my arms, walks across the room and starts rubbing himself again Gaara's leg, purring very, very loudly.  
Oh, wow.

The jinchuuriki looks torn between kicking the animal away, dropping his gourd on it, shouting 'Oh my gawd! Get him off of me!' or simply staring at the ball of fur, which was getting louder by the second.  
Everyone observed Gaara silently, wondering what he was going to do. Temari had even slapped a hand over her mouth in pure shock.

"He didn't purr that loud for me." suddenly says Shino, sounding extremely offended, pushing his sunglasses up his nose, crossing his arms and glaring holes at Gaara. Well, you couldn't really tell, but judging by the way his mouth was in a tight line, you could sort of guess.

"Woah... Gaara-kun... He _really _likes you. I have never heard Simba purr that loud _ever_. Wow. He freaking _loves_ you." I whisper, but since the room was practically silent, everyone could hear me very well.  
The redhead snapped his head up from the cat and looked at me.

"What?" he growled, sounding pissed but awestruck at the same time.  
"Simba adores you." I shrug when he looks at me with questions in his eyes.  
He must be pretty confused, since this was probably the first time someone said that he was loved, a lot. He was most likely pissed since this came from a feline.  
But he didn't look ready to kill my kitten, so I decided to save that poor boy, since he looked pretty dang uncomfortable standing there with a live creature rubbing itself against him.

I walked over to the boy and bent down to scoop Simba in my arms.  
"Heh. Come on kitty-chan, Gaara-kun looks like he wants his leg back now. You like him, do you?" I ask the animal.  
He mews in response. Smart cat.  
I stand up and grin at Gaara. "That meant yes!"

The jinchuuriki awkwardly wobbles before standing in his signature, crossed armed pose.  
"It's a cat." he says flatly, as if that would explain everything. I lift an eyebrow at him.  
"Exactly. Animals always know how you feel. It's like their sixth sense. So that means that Simba not only likes you, but he has seen your heart, and seems to adore you more than ever for it." I smile.  
OK, that was a little cheesy, but animals do see your heart. They never judge you by the way you look or talk or act. Just by how you feel. And if you feed them.

Gaara stares at me as if I've grown a second head or were severely mentally unstable, but doesn't say anything. I'm pretty sure that everyone else in the room is too. Oh great, now I'm going to be called the 'Kitty Preacher' or something.

"Quit looking at me like that guys! I used to have a dog, but I know that cats and most animals are like that. Right Kiba-kun? Animals are awesome because they understand!" I spin around and fix my eyes on the boy, hoping that he won't disagree, because that would just be embarrassing.

He snaps out of his trance and clears his throat.  
"Um...Yeah... Animals can sense things we don't. Especially things like fear, sadness or love. And since Akamaru is a ninja dog, he can sense your power and chakra too. Isn't that right boy?" laughs Kiba proudly when his furry friend barks.  
Phew. Thank _you _Kiba!

I turn around to face Gaara again to smile in victory at him. His eyes dart from me, to Kiba, to Simba, then back at me.  
Whoa, I didn't realize that I was standing so close to him. If just leaned over, I could...  
Heh, not the time.  
But Gaara has really pretty eyes that are blank on the outside, but you can really see his soul... It's greenish blue like the ocean. Oh, wait, that's just his eye color.  
His hair looks actually kinda soft, even if it is spiky. I suddenly had an urge to touch it.

I gulped, held Simba (who was rubbing his head against my cheek) a little closer and swiveled so that I was standing beside Gaara instead of in front of him.  
It was better for controlling the urges. Plus, I could now see the crowd that was behind me a moment ago.  
Everyone is still statue-like and staring at Simba, Gaara and I. Except Kiba, who was cuddling Akamaru, but stopped when he realized that I was watching. The boy blushed crimson red before clearing his throat loudly, snapping everybody out of their disbelief.

Suddenly, every person in this room has something they need to do.  
"Kiba. Hinata. We didn't finish training. Let's go back." says Shino in a tone that clearly means 'I-just-want-to-go-away-from-these-killer-ninjas-and-the-psycho-girl-with-the-cat' "Bye. See you around."  
His team follows him out without protesting, waving goodbye to the people in the room.

Temari makes a strange noise that sounds like a cross between a gasp and a sigh then sits on a chair and goes back to reading her book.  
Kankuro scratches the top of his head and sits down silently, taking out a book about... puppets. Oh the shock.  
The two older Sand Siblings are then absorbed in their reading, but I can see their eyes darting to Gaara from time to time.

Said redhead suddenly disappears in a swirl of sand.  
"Woah! He teleported!" I gasp, looking at the now empty spot that Gaara used to stand in.  
"He is probably going to sit of the roof. He seems to like doing that." mumbles Temari, moving around to get more comfortable in her seat.  
Kankuro grunts in response.

Ryo and Yuuki both find a chair to sit on then start looking through the large selection of books. Checking the shelves, I see that some of these were actually written in English. But I really didn't feel like reading right now, so I walked out of the library with Simba trotting at my heal, leaving my team to do whatever they wanted.

I silently stroll around the Tower, humming to myself  
"Hm... I wonder what Gaara-kun is doing right now?" I whisper to myself.  
Suddenly, a large figure blocks my way. Tilting my head back to see who it is, I gasp.  
"Baki-san! I didn't know that you were here!" I grin and step backwards so that I am not uncomfortably close to him. He doesn't smile back.  
"All of the jonin leaders are arriving today. If one of us hear that our team didn't make it, then we would leave. Since my team is here, I will be staying." he explains.  
"Oh. Makes sense..." I trail of when he starts scrutinizing me. OK... I take a safe step back again. "Baki-san? Is something wrong?"

He huffs and gives me a strong, adult look.  
"You and your team do not have a jonin leader. You have just arrived out of nowhere. You can't even prove that you _exist_. And you now take extreme interest in my students? Is it Gaara's potential that you noticed? What is your plan?" he asks me blankly. My eyes widen when I realize what he is asking.  
"What? Hell no! I am not trying to bring Gaara-kun or _anybody _down! I am not trying to spy or convert anyone! I just want the show to go on, but be able to know people! I just want to be friends with Gaara, Temari and Kankuro. I am not going to back-stab or betray them. Baki-san... The reason I am here is because... People treat shinobi like weapons, but forget that their 'weapons' are young teenagers who just really need to be reminded who they are, how great they are, pushing prejudice aside, no judging and just the fact that they are human and not simply fighting machines. Look at Gaara... That's what happens when kids are treated as objects." I rant sadly. The man looks only half convinced.

"You seem to know much more about us than we know about you." he says suspiciously, looking at me, as if looking for an answer.  
"Yeah. We do. If I explained, you wouldn't believe me. So let's just say that we know you guys, but not completely, so we came here to learn more about you. Just as friends, not to collect information or whatever you are thinking." I stare at Baki, who seems to be accepting what I was saying.  
"Fine. I don't need to know your business. But keep away from Gaara." he says through gritted teeth.  
Why? Why does everyone tell me to stay away from Gaara? Why?

"Sorry, no can do. I really like Gaara-kun and leaving him alone isn't physically, mentally or emotionally possible for me. So please, don't make me. I know that you are worried about him. I will not mess up his already unstable mind. I just want to help. Because no one else does!" I can't help but glare a little at Baki. He looks taken aback.  
"Help? You think that you are helping him? He doesn't even understand the concept of communication! If you talk to him, he will just be confused! He wouldn't even know that you are trying to help!" he practically shouts at me. Oh, heated argument coming up!

"What makes you think that Gaara is incapable of communicating? I managed to talk to him! I've seen him _smile_! He told me a little about himself! You only think that way because you have never actually _tried _to talk about something other than ninja, weapons or war with him! He has a personality too, you know?" I huff, only slightly surprised that I was actually angry with Baki. I know that he's an adult and all but... These adults just screw up the next generation! Not this guy in particular, but I was actually thinking of the Kazekage and Yashamaru. Man, those guys I hated so bad.

"I am his sensei! My job is to teach and lead him! Not to bond!" he growls. My eyebrow twitches.  
"Well, you should bond! It an important part of _being _a teacher! Another person who should have bonded with Gaara is his father, but, well, he did a good job huh?" I spit sarcastically.  
Baki's face falls.  
"The... The Kazekage is a busy man. He-..." I cut him off.  
"Their is a difference between being a good leader and being a good person. Treating your child like crap does not make you a good person. And treating you student like a pawn doesn't either." I bite my lip and look down at me feet. God, I hate fighting. But I hate this ninja treatment so much more.

Baki stays silent for a minute. He then sighs and massages his forehead.  
"How is it that you can make me feel bad for doing my job? I am a shinobi, I shouldn't care." he mumbles, but I heard him.  
"Because... You're really cool, Baki-sensei. But thinking that Gaara is an empty shell is probably the biggest mistake one can make. Somehow, somewhere in his head, he does think of you, since you are his teacher. If you tried to bond... Then he would look up to you instead. I know that being a ninja is about being tough and caring only about your mission, the well being of your country and declaring war on neighboring villages, but, you have to admit, having someone admire and respect you is something everyone secretly wants." I smile at jonin, who looks at me.

"For a kid, you sure know how to communicate." he finally sighs.  
"Thanks. I've been told that." I laugh, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I am no longer asking you to stay away from Gaara. But, still, watch your back kiddo. Since you know him pretty well, you should understand what I am saying. And about missions, you seem to know about our-... SHIT!" I never thought that I would see Baki squeal like that. "What the... Oh, it's just a cat."  
I bite back a giggle as Simba continues to rub himself against the man's leg, purring. He turns his little feline head at me and seems to wink. Gosh, I love this kitty. Phew. I think that I gave away the fact that I knew about Suna's 'attack Konoha' mission. At least the jonin seems to have forgotten about that. Thanks Simba, I know that you did it on purpose somehow.

"Heh. Um..." Baki-sensei coughs and acts as if nothing happened. "I will be on my way. Good-bye, kid."  
"My name is Himeko. Oh, by the way, happy birthday Baki-san!" I grin at his surprised expression. "30 years old right?"  
"How did you know? I haven't told anyone." he asks, clearly happy and in a good mood bubble. Psh... These ninjas are all business, but everyone loves a birthday wish. Except for Neji, apparently.  
"I'm psychic. Oh, I have loads homemade chocolate left over from when I made some yesterday. Want some? Sorry that they are heart shaped, but that's the way I imagined them when I was making 'em." I summon a small bag of candy (still have over a dozen of those left... I think that my team and I must have went overboard a bit) and hand it to the man, who looks a little teary eyed.  
"I haven't gotten a gift since I was 9..." he sniffs and smiles cheerfully at me. "Thank you. I'll try that bonding thing with my students."

He takes a bite of chocolate and sighs.  
"Man... I haven't eaten sweets for years!"  
"Years? Well, I'm glad that I changed that!"  
"So am I."

Baki suddenly freezes, stands up straighter and clears his throat, regaining his cool.  
"Ahem. Yes. Bye." he awkwardly rushes out of the corridor, probably going somewhere to stuff his face. Hehe.  
When he is completely out of earshot, I start laughing my butt off.  
I cannot believe that Baki acted so much more childish than Neji when he got his gift. Hah, life is full of surprises.  
"Tsk. Gotta love these ninjas." I chuckle and continue on my little walk, trying to think of one reason why I shouldn't totally adore these people.  
I place Simba on my shoulder and we give each other a knowing look.  
I couldn't find any.

* * *

**Sorry that this is late. I was completely bedridden yesterday, I couldn't even move my right arm (I had to get a shot because my body couldn't handle water). But after good old rice and water and lots of poking of my throat with a salted chopstick, I'm feeling so much better.**

**Well, I hope that you enjoyed that! I love the entire Sand Team, including Baki, as you might have noticed.**  
**Thank you for reading, and if you would review, that would be awesome ;p.**  
**Two weeks without Internet in India... But I can still write, maybe. We will have to hike, like, 6 hours across the southern part of the country, so no promises.**  
**I will try to get a chapter out before the end of the month. I'll try.**  
**Peace, Love, Chocolate,**  
**XOXO~~ HimekoUchia (sick, but chillin')**


	22. Akatsuki: Numb Butts

**Happy Valentines Day people! And very late Chinese New Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai! Sheng Ti Jian Kang!  
Plus, it's "Ryo's" birthday today, my fellow Naruto fan friend Raph's one tomorow and mine in three days! Even more reason to celebrate and for me to share with you another bonus Akatsuki chapter! Yay!  
Most people really liked these! Glad you do! It's nice to be able to write about our favorite terrorist group from time to time! Invisible cookies for those who can find all movie references in here!  
Well, here you go my loves! Thank you for giving me my most reviewed chapter ever! Chapter 21: Like Cats and Dogs was a success!  
Now... **

**The Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 2: Numb Butts**

**HimekoUchia: Gaaaaah! I don't update enough!**  
**Sasori: You're making your reader impatient brat! Impatient! That's not good!**  
**HimekoUchia: Whoah! Where did you come from?**  
**Sasori: Your keyboard.**  
**HimekoUchia: Oh. OK. Well, I don't own Naruto or the Akatsuki! Kudos to Kishimoto-sama! Gahhh! War? Seriously, Kishi? Seriously? Well, I hope you don't mind I used Kankuro-kun's words then!**

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_Right then, I heard a noise... coming from the ceiling. I quickly shoved Yuuki awake and Ryo out of his reverie. I bend over so that only they can hear my whisper.  
"Guys! I think that one of the Akatsuki teams are back from their mission!"_

* * *

We stay silent for a minute, trying to hide the sound of our breaths. Another Akatsuki team is arriving! Who could it be? Will they try to kill us the second they saw us? I guess we will see.  
We hear soft steps as the ninja walk down the huge center staircase. I hold my breath. Any second now, we will see who they are.

We hear them before we see them.  
"Pfff... That was the easiest mission ever! It didn't even take us two minutes to rip that dude into shreds!" laughs an unknown voice. Familiar, of course.  
"Don't let that easy victory influence you in battle. Underestimating an opponent may be your last mistake." came another, more philosophical voice.  
"You are right... But that _was_ easy!"  
"Hn... it was. Leader-sama must want us to remain occupied in his absence."  
Yup. It's them.  
They walked into our view.

A very, very tall blue man who looks like something out of 'Finding Nemo'. A taller, older, more mature looking version of Sasuke.  
Kisame and Itachi. Holy heck. This must be our lucky day!

Instead of screaming out in fanpeople heat, my friends and I simply stare in awe.  
The two men keep on walking, as if they didn't notice us.  
Suddenly, Kisame looks up and his eyes land on us.

"Huh? Hey! You three over there! How did you get in?" he shouts at us, taking his big sword off of his back. The fish sword. I'm imagining him trying to bash me with a huge salmon. I laugh before I can control it.  
"Actually, Deidara and Sasori invited us! Apparently, there is a themed disco party in here? Underworld, right?" I put my elbows on my knees and my chin on top of my folded hands. Gosh. My butt is numb for sitting for so long.  
Itachi stares indifferently at us, whilst Kisame goes all crazy.  
Urg, these teams are so strange. There is always one calm one, and one with a fiery temper. Always.  
"That's crap! This is the Aktasuki base! There is no party in here! ...right?" the blue man turns towards his partner, just to confirm his thoughts. It's kinda sweet actually.  
"Hn. Right. Tell me, did Deidara and Sasori find you loitering outside the base, by any chance?" asks the Uchiha.

Smart guy.  
"Lucky guess. Yeah, they brought us here and Deidara was going to throw us in the dungeons until your boss returns, but Sasori decided to let us roam free. Kind of. Did you know that that dude is _so_ up to something?" I gasp dramatically.  
Kisame and Itachi chuckle. Yes, an Uchiha chuckled. Out loud. For real. I wasn't dreaming. I pinched myself just to check.  
"Aren't we all up to something? We are Akatsuki, for crying out loud!" laughs Kisame.

My friends and I exchange a look, and shrug.  
Must be an inside joke or something.

"Hn. Itachi of the Uchiha clan." speaks the man calmly.  
Yay, introductions! This means that we are not enemies for the moment!  
"Hoshigaki Kisame. Monster of the Hidden Mist." says the blue-man, swinging his sword back over his shoulder. Hm, 'Blue-man'. New nickname. Thank you imagination.

I smile at them, thankful that they were friendly. Or pretending to be. Meh, it's cool either way.  
It's now my team's turn for intros.  
"Tanaka Himeko. Lots of love. Did you know that you two are incredibly hot, even if you are much older than us?"  
"Tanaka Yuuki. Peace for all. My cousin is right, Mr. Tall and Tasty, Mr. Uchiha Hot and Handsome."  
"Murakami Ryo... The... Um... Guy of the team."

The two ninjas' eyes widen for a second, before going back to their usual composure.  
"That's... Um... Interesting." Kisame nods his head awkwardly. "OK. I was nice meeting the fresh meat, but I'm starving." He quickly walks down the stairs, followed by Itachi. Probably trying to get away from our weird. Heh, not the first ones today.  
My friends and I don't even flinch after the death implication Blue-man made. An hour with Sasori does that to you.

Tall and handsome Uchiha is truly silent. He doesn't say another word after telling us his name, but simply glances at us from the corner of his eye a few times, until he and his teammate disappear into the kitchen.  
My friends and I sit there, in all of our Team Itachi love.  
"Ahhh... He is so damn good-looking..." sighs Yuuki, blushing like a strawberry.  
I giggle like a freak.  
"Yeah! Kisame sounds kinda nice! Even if he did try to attack us with fish-sword. And... Itachi Uchiha... ahhhhhh my god..." I sound like an Akatsuki fangirl at this moment. Then again, I am.

Ryo suddenly stands up.  
"Wait a second! If Itachi is down there, then why the heck are we up here?"  
The boy's got a point.

We teleport directly into the kitchen, actually scaring the living bleep out of the ninja. Wow, we're good. Itachi takes a step towards us.  
"How was that even possible? I didn't sense the immense amount of chakra it would have taken to teleport." he says calmly, but I can sense that he is sort of freaked out. He had the Sharingan, but he was probably starting to realize that there were a few things about us that even his eyes couldn't see.  
"No chakra here. Just awesome energy." I reply.  
Itachi frowns.  
"Hn. That explains why Sasori and Deidara left you alive. Their orders are to kill any intruders." he states, before taking a bite of food.  
Awww... Akatsuki eating food are just so damn cute! Even if it's only natural...

My friends and I nod. And own stomachs grumble. Wow, what a coincidence! Perfect timing!  
"Hey... Itachi-san... What do we do if we are hungry?" I ask him. He's a big brother, he should be able to help us, right?  
"Pfffft... Look in the cupboards and do it yourself! Do you think we have personal chefs or something? Hah!" snorts Kisame.

We all raise an eyebrow and look the shelves as he told us, until we find something to satisfy our hunger.  
"Hm." Blue-man chews his meal loudly. "Where are you three from? You have 'Ai' written on your headbands, but that isn't a village."  
"Well, we are from a galaxy far, far away... Um, like, Konohagakure. We spend quite sometime there. Nice food. Nice people. Hot local boys. Like Sasuke-kun for example!" I grin when I see Itachi glancing at me from the corner of his eyes, and Kisame glancing at Itachi. "Mhm! That young lad is _fine_! Must be an Uchiha thing!"  
Both of my friends try to hide their laughs, not wanting to piss the ninjas off.

Kisame sniggers.  
"Itachi's brother? Hah! You knew him?" he says, getting interested. Even here, Sasuke is popular, I guess. I might have to check these guys' rooms for fan posters...  
"Yup! Man, he can be a jerk, but most of the time, Sasuke-kun is pretty nice, I guess. He's doing OK. Could be better. Then again, who can blame him for being constantly dark..." I direct the entire sentence directly to Itachi, knowing that he does care about his little brother, but he is just pretending that he doesn't so that he doesn't ruin his rep as the 'bad-ass who murdered his entire clan without batting an eye'.

Yuuki seems to have an enlightenment.  
"Ooooh! I just remembered... I wanted to ask you guys: where is the secret passage in this room? We never saw Deidara leave the kitchen, but he isn't here..."  
I roll my eyes. As if they are going to answer that...  
"Get real kid! As if we are going to answer that!" huffs Kisame, taking an abnormally large bite of his food.  
I'm good...

Yuuki dips her head in disappointment and Ryo goes on doing what was doing for the past ten minutes, which is eating Itachi with his eyes. No surprise there, Ryo-kun loves Itachi almost as much as he loves Naruto...

After five silent minutes, Kisame finished stuffing a whole lot of food down his throat, then stood up and washed his dishes.  
He then turns away and walks out the doors, shouting over his shoulder to Itachi.  
"I'm going to check when our next mission is due!"

I'm pretty sure that if, on the inside, Itachi is cursing at him for leaving him to babysit, he doesn't show it at all. He just nods.

There is a short silence as the four people in the room just stare at each other.  
At the exact same time, we all eat a mouthful of rice (anime unison to its max) and chew at the exact same beat.  
And we all swallow at the same time.

After another awkward staring session, Itachi blinks.  
"Can I help you?" he asks indifferently, tilting his head to the side.  
I'm pretty sure that my heart skipped a beat there. He talked!  
My friends and I all immediately produce our pens and papers out of thin air.  
"Autograph please!" we chorus, smiling from ear to ear.  
Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say...

"Why would you want my autograph?" asks the man, staring at the papers as if they were going to explode in his pretty face.  
"Because... Itachi-san... You are awesome, brave, selfless, smart... Even if your plans do backfire most of the time, without you realizing. You are one of the very few in this world with a pure heart, no matter what crime your hands have committed. Plus, you are highly physically attractive and we are your fans." I explain, shoving the pens at him, daring him to refuse. "It's just an autograph. It's not going to be the cause of your downfall. Actually... How would that even be possible?" I ponder out loud.

I yelp as Ryo steps on my foot, giving me a look that says 'too much info, Himeko.'  
"OK, OK! Sheesh! That hurt man... AHHH! My shoe is dirty! Ew! Ew! A _stain_! Eff you!" I whimper and start hopping around, trying to shake the icky dirt off. I hate dirt. Dirt must die. Ryo is next.  
My teammates stare at me, dumbstruck, before they both slap their foreheads in exasperation.  
"What? What did I say?" I glare at Ryo.

Suddenly, we all shut up when we hear something that sounds suspiciously like a chuckle trying to be passed off as a cough.  
When we turn our heads, Itachi slides three autographs across the table.  
"Hn. I do not know how or why you three were outside of the base. I don't believe that you could cause any danger. You three are honestly innocent and free of the burden of being born into a ninja family. No true shinobi could or would bluff such comradeship for a signature from a rogue-nin." he sighs and gets up. "You are unusual... different. You could be free. Why you would come here, I do not understand. I have my own problems to attend to, so I will now leave you..."  
We thank him for the autographs and he turns away, but seems to hesitate for a second. "None of you have the blood of another person on your hands. I can sense it. Try to keep it that way for as long as you possibly can. Trust me, innocence is rare and is the greatest feeling of all. Losing it is the way of the shinobi, but it will hurt you and lead to the pain of others around you. I know."

After his little speech, he officially leaves, closing the kitchen doors around him.  
I blink and silently pick up the autograph, slipping it into my storage scroll.  
My friends do the same.

"Itachi is so damn cool." suddenly groans Ryo.  
Yuuki and I laugh and agree.  
Yes. Yes he is.

* * *

My friends and I have been lying on our beds, looking at the ceiling, for about three hours.  
I don't know about them, but I was thinking about what Itachi said. I know that even though he massacred his clan, he did love them. He just loved Konoha's safety even more. And Sasuke an infinity times more that that.  
He wanted peace, love and family.  
Itachi... You shouldn't have been born in this world...  
I sigh. If only he had been in our world, he would have had the chance to live a normal, simple life. Our world wasn't perfect at all, but most people there do think that the meaning of life is love and future.  
Not pain, war, power, sacrifice, betrayal and killing your family. Then again, our world had all of those. But on a lesser scale than here.  
A ninja on average kills how many people in his life on a daily routine? Hundreds? Thousands? He actually gets used to it. And how many ninjas are there in this world? Millions? How many people have to die then?  
How long do they live? They always die in battle. They live in a world of violence and lies...

Maybe our worlds aren't that different but, back home, your schoolmate is less likely to assassin you and others on a daily basis. But then again, we have such technologies that we can now blow cities off of the face on the map.  
If we mashed our both worlds together... I can only think of one word to describe what it would be.  
Hell.  
It would be the end.  
Damn, I'm glad that our worlds are very, very far apart.

They don't get our discoveries, and we don't get their burdens.  
We don't have chakra and, no matter how cool that stuff is, I don't want it. It causes too much trouble.  
I'll stick with my mind and heart energy. Everyone has some inside of them, but those who travel to an alternate dimension can turn it to extra-ordinary power.  
At least, as far as I know...

"Urg. My mind is going to explode." I groan and turn over on my bed so that I am lying face down on the pillow. "What is a perfect world? If any one finds it, tell me so that I can move there!"  
They probably couldn't hear it very well, since I sounded all muffled up. Oh, well. I'm pretty sure that they got the picture.

I hear them sigh.  
"Let me guess. You have been thinking about what Itachi said for this whole time." says Yuuki, staring at me.  
"Yeah, actually."  
"Same." the both reply.

I nod into the pillow before sitting up on my bed.  
"Urg. My butt is numb. I'm going to take a walk. Who wants to come with me?" I try.

My friends look at me as if I were crazy.

"Dude, they're gonna effing kill you! Don't!" yells Ryo, crossing his arms. Yuuki shakes her head.  
I roll my eyes.  
"Hm, fine. If I'm not back in an hour or two, throw some fire crackers out of the door and down the spiraling stars to distract my killer so that I can get away and come back." I wave over my shoulder and close the door.

Once I'm outside, I hesitate on which way to go. There are so many friggin staircases... I wonder if one of them leads to a three headed dog who falls asleep when you play the harp.

After walking up and down the main swirly staircase twice, no one comes out of their rooms so I can't even guess (since there are so many doors) which one is who's.  
I really feel like talking to a ninja though... and the only rooms that I recognize are Deidara's and Sasori's, since I saw them enter.

Deidara's one is closer, so I go there, knock and wait.  
I here someone swear (tsk men), a shuffling noise and the door opens on the Iwa-nin who has a blank look on his face. When he sees that it is me, his expression turns annoyed.

"What do you want, hm?" he snorts, leaning against the door frame.  
"Hey, Deidara-san? What do you do when you are bored?" I ask, tilting my head to the side and crossing my hands behind my back.  
He looks surprised and scratches his head.  
"Hm. I make clay sculptures." he replies.  
"But doesn't that make it long-lasting art?" I ask curiously.

He blinks and looks pissed.  
"What? No way, hm! My art's beauty is seen for a fleeting moment! I pre-make these explosives for special occasions, hm! These ones, for example..." he shows me a small white turtle in his palm. "Aren't the most powerful and the detonation can be set at any time, hm. Perfect for blowing Tobi up when he pisses me off."  
We both chuckle sadistically.

We look at each other in shock.  
"Hm. I didn't pin you as the evil type, Himeko-chan." he smiles and starts tossing his bomb up and down like a coin in those far west movies.  
"I'm not evil. I just have a very open sense of humor. I can find almost everything funny, as long as it isn't too cruel. Meh, exploding your fellow Akatsuki is something you do regularly, then?"  
He grins. Yay, he's happy.  
"Hm! Yeah! Especially Tobi. Akatsuki should be serious, not dumb like him!"  
"But isn't blowing people up immature?"

He stalls for a minute.

"No. It's just amusing, hm. You cannot imagine how long days can be, hm. Most of the Akatsuki train or stay in their rooms when they are bored, hm. Or, rarely, we play stupid adult games."  
He nods his head, not realizing that I was holding in a laugh.  
"Um... What 'adult games' do you think of? 'Coz all I can think of right now is spin the bottle or strip poker. Many men. Wow."  
His eyes widen in pure horror.  
"Uh! No way! Hm! I was talking about non-idiotic teenager stuff!" he growls, pointing an accusing finger at me. "Like... hm... Arm wrestling! Yeah! That's manly! I'm awesome at it, hm!"  
I then positively laugh my butt off.  
"Pfffft... I would love to see that!"

He snorts and suddenly tosses me his turtle. I catch it in my palms.  
"I'm busy, hm. Instead of standing around bothering people, you should do something useful. For example, hm... Go blow up an Uchiha."  
Before going back into his room, he gives me a last grin, which I return.  
Then, all I can see is the wood of the door that he just closed.

I am still slightly surprised at the randomness of that conversation. Life is so strange at times. I thought that the blond man would try to kill me or something.  
I get suspicious, stare at the small clay bomb, make sure that it won't blow up any time, then put it in my pocket.  
"Heh! This is kinda cute! Thanks Deidara-san!" I call out, not knowing if he heard me.

I skip down the staircase, then up Sasori's one and knock on his door.  
I hear silence and the door opens. No one is behind the door. Oh my god! It's the force!  
Oh, chakra strings. Right, I knew that.

I stand outside the room. Entering someone's bedroom without being asked is not very polite. But so is ignoring the person outside your room.

"Hello Sasori-san!" I decide to say into the darkness of the room.  
Gosh, are his eyes made of light bulbs or something?  
Suddenly, the light flickers on and Sasori is standing there, looking emotionless as usual. It's really amazing how human he looks... He's taller than he looks too.  
"What do want brat?" he asks, not moving.  
I grin.  
"Hey, Sasori-san? What do you when you are bored?" I ask, tilting my head to the side and crossing my hands behind my back.  
Instead of replying with his favorite activity like Deidara did, he blinks.  
"Is that what you wasted thirty seconds of my life for?" he says murderously.  
"Gosh, I'm sorry. I thought you were eternal or something... I guess I thought wrong, since you obviously have not enough time in life. Bother, bother. Oh well, I guess that I will find someone else to talk about the beauty of eternal art with." I snap, turn around and step away, hoping that he will take the bait.

"You are irritating, you know that, brat?" I hear his voice say. "Eternal art is beautiful. I spend my time creating things that will last forever."  
_Good enough_. I smile and turn around.

"So many things in life are beautiful, Sasori-san. It simply takes a true master to see them all and to teach them next generation noobs what true beauty is, so that they can do the same for their kiddos, and so on. Isn't that what true, eternal forevermore is about?" I glance at my nails, then up at him.  
He doesn't sigh (no lungs...) but he rolls his eyes.  
"I want to cut you, brat." he steps to the side and looks at me, as if waiting for something.  
"What?" I ask, leaning back, suspicious. This dude has this atmosphere of creep around him. I can't even be sure what he is thinking with that wooden face. And there is no way I searching through an assassin's thoughts. Meh, I guess that's what you get for being an awesome human puppet.

He seems to frown, and looks at me as if it were obvious what he wanted.

"Come in. Don't keep me waiting." he answers.  
My mouth pops open in shock, but I automatically walk into his room, not really thinking about the horror I could find in there.  
I expected something out of a haunted house. Spider webs, rotting corpses, a cauldron, an empty skull used as a flowerpot, crystal balls and so on and so forth.  
But the room is empty apart from a table covered with mechanical junk, a shelf with books and scrolls in them and loads of puppets. I suppress a shiver as I realize that those used to be very human.

"Thanks for inviting me in, Sasori-san. Are you going to eat me or something?" I scratch the back of my head, my eyes not leaving the puppets. I can't say that I'm not uncomfortable. Sasori is a 32 year old dude after all, even if he looks like a tall fourteen year old.  
I hear him snort and close the door.  
"Who do you think I am, brat? I'm a puppet, I do not need to feed myself."

I turn around and look at him with a withering look.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot that you didn't eat people. I think I just got a little distracted by all the_ human corpses you use as weapons_! Yeah, my bad."  
The next thing I see, I cannot be sure for certain I saw.  
He... smiles a little.  
OK, that's it, no more popcorn for me.

"It's my art. It's beautiful and it's useful. More useful than those stupid, pointless exploding clay figures that Deidara-baka makes." he walks over to a table and picks up a knife, making me flinch. "You are right about your vision on eternal art. It was my grandmother who taught me the art of puppets, and I think that that is what made it so wonderful. I guess that I will try to pass some of it on. See, this knife here, you can use to remove the main arteries of the-..."

I choke in shock.  
"Whoah! Whoah! Rewind and pause! You wanna what?" I nearly shout, slapping both of my cheeks with my hands.  
"Pass on the meaning of eternal art. To someone who will listen and won't make it a waste of time, even if Leader-sama will kill you anyway and I will add you to my collection. I think that now is a good time, before my brat of a partner infects your mind with his 'fleeting beauty'." he says the last part like I would say "rotten chicken bones."  
"Um... OK?"

"Perfect. Now, as I was saying, after you capture and kill the human you will make into your puppet, you use this knife to cut out blood vessels, or it will rot. Then..." he picks up another instrument of torture. "... use these pliers to remove the finger nai-..."  
I scream out and slam my hands over my ears, eyes widened in horror. Sasori looks at me indifferently.  
"... I was getting to the best part."

After a few calming breaths, I stand up straight and smile at him.  
"Sasori-san... I am completely honored that you want to teach me how to turn a dead person into a weapon, but... How can I say this?... Last time I accidentally stepped on a snail and killed it, I cried."  
He blinks.  
"... Oh. What a waste. So much I could I said. I guess that I'll have to..." he walks over to his table and for a moment I fear that he will pull out a mangled limb or something. Actually, he picks up a piece of wood. "How about the original way?"

I grin.  
"You mean, like, wooden puppets?"  
"Yes."  
"Awesome!"

* * *

In only half an hour, Sasori managed to build a life size version of a wooden man. He even inserted weapons, darts, poisons and trackers in it.  
I, however, in that short amount of time, learned very fast.  
I...  
I created...  
... drum roll...  
A miniature Pinocchio!

"Whoo! Now don't get a-lying, or your nose will get a-sizing!" I laugh, using my mind to create something that equals to chakra strings to make the little wooden man walk.  
Sasori looks as if he wants to slap his forehead, then bitch slap my face.  
"Is that all you could make in all this time?" he asks in his emotionless voice, but still sounding irritated.  
"Hah! Of course not! You are such a great teacher, Sasori-sempai! There is more!" I clap my hands together, and Pinocchio does a couple cheer-leading stunts. "Naw. Just joking. Look!"

I press on the little man's left eye and his head opens (Sasori taught me how to work the gears. Never thought it was that simple) to reveal a small camera.  
"It's a little spy!" I grin.  
"That's... cute." The redhead does not sound amazed. "Better than nothing."  
"Well, I can't be as good as you! You are a freaking genius at this, Sasori-sempai!" he seems to have given me silent permission to call him that. "Thanks for the lesson though! Your art is cool!"  
He nods.  
"Yes. I know. Now, puppets can always be upgraded, so if you ever feel like making you infinitely under-average creation into an average one, I can teach you how to install the flesh cutting blades-..."

He is interrupted by a string of loud, exploding sounds.  
My eyes widen in horror.  
Firecrackers. Shoot.  
Sasori looks at his door, then at me.  
"What was that?"  
I sigh and get up, realizing that I couldn't feel my behind anymore.  
"Let's just say that you boss will be _pissed_ when he comes back."

* * *

**Well, have a nice Valentine's Day (Single Awareness Day!)!  
Put your hands together and share some love with those who are spending this day without a date (*smiles*)! Woohoo! I know, I'm just sad.  
Aw, well, I hope that you liked the chapter! There will be more Itachi and Kisame of course, they are just pretty busy. I based the nice Sasori scene on one of the latest chapters of the manga, where Kankuro manages to destroy Sasori by making him realize the true meaning of art. So I guess, if it happens in the future, it can happen in the past, right?  
****'Til next time! Read, review, love! Hope you guys got many valentines!**

**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (turning 14 in three days! Yay!)**


	23. Zombies of the Mind

**Sorry! I know that I uploaded this twice by accident! I made a mistake the first time! My bad!**

**Hello! Thanks for the reviews, my fellow internet psychos! Ryo, hope you are reading this! Just because!  
I'm going to try to speed the pre-preleminary rounds of the chuunin exams just a little. I will still probably write quite a lot about it though. I've got inspiration for that! **

**Chuunin Exams: Still day 3 in the Tower.**

**HimekoUchia: Do you know what is the only thing Gaara could do to be hotter?**  
**Gaara: *smoothes Elvis hair***  
**HimekoUchia: HAHAHA no not that! (gosh that looks funny)**  
**Gaara: What then?**  
**HimekoUchia: If you could dance the tango! And if you laughed!**  
**Gaara: *takes notes* Huh? Laugh? Why do you want to see me laugh?**  
**HimekoUchia: It's attractive to be happy! Plus, you have the prettiest soft smile ever!**  
**Gaara: Thanks!**  
**Kankuro: … Ahem.**  
**HimekoUchia: Yeah yeah I know. I do not own Nerf; Naruto or it's characters and settings (as you can obviously see). Copyright goes to that crazy genius that invented them, and is slowly going to kill them in war or something...**

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_"Tsk. Gotta love these ninjas." I chuckle and continue on my little walk, trying to think of one reason why I shouldn't totally adore these people.  
I place Simba on my shoulder and we give each other a knowing look.  
I couldn't find any._

* * *

I ended up spending the rest of the day in the library. My friends and I stayed in it, even after Temari and Kankuro had left for training, leaving only to raid the kitchen a couple times an hour.  
I spend all that time reading some of the only English books there: a cook book about Japanese desserts, a weapon guide, a small guide of Konoha (wah?) and a fashion magazine.  
I'm not even kidding. I found a magazine about ninja fashion in there. Mostly Chinese style dresses, like Sakura's, and shirts like Tenten's. A couple nice kimonos in there too.

At about six thirty, someone knocked on the door, making all of us scream.  
Simba made a strange meowing sound, that sounded a lot like a laugh. Darn cat is making fun of us!  
The person outside of the door laughed quietly as well, before entering into the room.  
"Urg! Hinata-chan! You scared the crap out of us!" groans Yuuki, falling back into her armchair.  
We all sigh in relief.

"W-We were wondering if you w-would like to join us for dinner?" she asks.  
I share a look with my friends. We are all thinking the same thing.  
"Oh sure! That would be awesome!" I grin and get up to put away all of the books on the table.  
"Just a question... By 'we', do you mean you and your teammates or..." questions Ryo.  
"Y-Yes, my teammates, Kurenai-sensei and I."

My friends give me a surprised look.  
Oh right, I forgot to tell them that the jonins were back.  
"The adults decided to join us in the Tower of doom. They are all waiting to hear whether or not their teams made it. I only saw Baki-san though... He likes chocolate _very_ much!" I chuckle the last part. I'm pretty sure my friends can guess what I'm talking about just by looking at me.

I tell Hinata the entire 'Baki's funny reaction to his birthday gift' story on our way to the kitchen, leaving out the whole conversation before though. That's kind of private, I guess. I don't really want peeps to know that I got told off by a ninja that thought that I was trying to betray his students.  
"Hey Hinata-chan... You smell nice..." I suddenly say, leaning towards her.  
"H-Huh? Oh, yeah... It's the s-soap. We all w-washed up after training." she explains, giving me a strange look.

Team Kurenai is sitting around the table when we arrive. Kiba grins and waves at us.  
"Hey guys! Come on!" He excitedly taps the chair beside him, as Akamaru barks in greeting, ignoring Simba.  
Kurenai shakes her head at his childishness, but I see her smile a little. She is kind of like their aunt, I guess.  
"Nice to see you three again!" she sends me a little glare, remembering the time I brought a passed out Shino to her. "Take a seat! The food is already cooking!"

Ryo sits next to Kiba right away, and they start talking about some random guy stuff that sounds like a huge, blurred out roar in my ears. I wonder if it's the same for my cousin and Hinata?  
"Hiya Shino-kun!" I call out to the silent bug ninja, slipping into the empty seat next to him. He looks up at me, clearly glad that he wasn't ignored.  
Yuuki sits in between Hinata and I, and the Hyuuga sits beside her sensei.

There is a slight awkward silence.  
Guess who breaks it?  
"Well! Kurenai-sensei, how is life?" I call out to the woman, who calmly sips her tea.  
"Unpredictable." she tilts her head and grins at everyone. "Who knew that _my_ rookie team and three children without training record would arrive before Gai's 'youthful' team of second years, who have more experience? Wait, forget what I said. I knew you would arrive first. I won a heck load of cash from those bets!"

Everyone stares at her with wide eyes.  
"Kurenai-sensei... All of the jonins made bets as to who would make it out of the forest alive and who would perish?" asks Shino, clearly not impressed.  
The jonin laughs out loud and folds her arms, as if this were funny. Betting? On who would survive? These guys are _evil_! But Kurenai didn't even finish...  
"Everyone bet on their own teams, of course! Most people bet on each others teams, but no one bet on the rookies, except for their own senseis. Sorry team. But it was the betting on other village's teams that was interesting. That Sand Team, led by Baki-san, got quite a few bets from everyone... But Asuma didn't bet on them. And you three actually had a few huge bets here and there. You actually got Kakashi-san to bet on you! So did Gai and I. Asuma didn't... Haha... So what did you learn today kids?" she leans back and looks at our reactions.

"That you just got rich off of us? And that Asuma-sensei is now broke?" I say, my eyes still very wide.  
"Correct!" laughs Kurenai, clapping her hands, just as the rice cooker's timer goes off.  
She automatically gets up, still laughing at us six teens' shocked/disgusted expressions. Shino is the first to snap out of it. He huffs.  
"You'd better buy us a damn good meal with that money sensei." he says coolly.  
"I want barbeque." growls Kiba.  
"Ramen." adds Hinata, actually sounding angry.  
"Mind if we tag along Kurenai-sensei?" choruses my entire team at the same time.

We kids obviously don't like having people treat death in such a playful manner, especially after witnessing Gaara squish those random ninja to death. Then again, this is the adult ninja world we are dealing with.  
Kurenai doesn't even seem to notice that we were fuming, she just rummaged through the cupboard for seven bowls, chuckling maniacally to herself.  
"Tsssk! Don't be like that, kids! As long as you keep yourselves safe, you can just ignore what we do! But, with all that cash from all those other team leaders, I could buy each of you two meals! Just saying..."

I sigh and shake my head solemnly.  
"Pffft... Jonins..." I grumble.  
All the genins (and my friends) either roll their eyes, nod or mutter in agreement. Leave this craziness for the previous generation.

Once each one of us get our serving of dinner, we all dig in after a 'Itadakimasu'.  
We don't stop sending glares at Kurenai, who seems to be greatly enjoying herself. After a few short moments, she starts a new conversation.  
"So... What have you been doing for the past few days?" she asks, before starting to chew a mouthful of rice.

"W-we have trained, explored the Tower and g-gotten to know the other t-teams." answers Hinata quietly, picking up her chopsticks.  
Kurenai nearly chokes.  
"Other teams? The only other team here is the team from Sunagakure!" she exclaims, eyes widening in horror. I could practically read her mind: 'Oh no! Is there another team that has arrived that I didn't know about? Is it gonna cost me?'  
"She _means_ the Suna Team... And us." I reply, hoping to sooth her.  
Instead, her horror filled eyes turn to worry filled ones. Ah, looks like she jumped back into sensei mode.

"Those Suna genin... I don't like the looks of them... I would really keep distance from them if I were you." she tells us, completely serious now.  
I was about to start my rant about how awesome the Sand Sibs were, and about how our generation judged people more based on how they truly were than what rep they had or how strong or dangerous they looked, but Hinata actually beat me to the punch, surprising me.  
"K-Kurenai-sensei! They are p-probably very challenging opponents, but I've already m-met Temari-san and she isn't as b-bad as she s-seems! Her teammates, I h-haven't talked to yet, but I think th-that they are very h-human!"

"Hinata-chan is viciously defending her opinion! Ouch! High five girl." I beam at her as she, very shyly and very red in the face, gives me five.  
How can Neji not respect his cousin? She may be shy, especially around Naruto, but when she sets her mind on something, she won't back down in fear. It's her ninja way, right?  
"Admiration times one thousand, young grasshopper..." adds Ryo calmly, snickering.

Kurenai looks slightly shocked, but recomposes herself.  
She them grins at her student.  
"Hinata... I'm very proud of you for defending your cause! You have truly improved, favorite student!" she gives the girl a thumbs up.  
Kiba gasps.  
"W-What? Hinata-chan is your favorite? What about Shino? What about _me_?" he whines, and Akamaru mimics him.  
"Nope. Hinata-chan is my favorite." laughs Kurenai, obviously enjoying Kiba's moment of depression.  
"Why?"  
"Because! She is a girl, she's shy and she's sweet!"  
"What? I'm not sweet?" Kiba widens his eyes until they are anime size, with two little spots of white light, all shiny. He folds his hands under his chin.

I can't help but laugh. He looks like a little puppy like this!  
"You are Kiba-kun! But Hinata-chan is just sweeter and cuter. Sorry." Kurenai chuckles when Kiba huffs and crosses his arms.  
"I second that." suddenly says Shino.  
Everyone turns to stare at the bug boy.

"So... You think that Hinata-chan is sweet and cute?" says Yuuki evilly, prodding his arm.  
He turns an interesting shade of pink.  
"No. I said that... Uh... Hinata-chan was... Uh... More than Kiba..." he mumbles monotonously, readjusting his sunglasses nervously. Everyone laughs at him, and he keeps acting as if nothing happened.  
"Nah, I'm just messing with ya! She is cute!" Yuuki smiles, waves her fingers at him and goes back to eating.

Kiba, when he finished making fun of his teammate, turns to his squad leader.  
"Kurenai-sensei... Why are you such in a good mood today?"  
She stalls for a moment, before grinning at us.  
"I had a really great lunch today! It was delicious! So the effects still haven't worn off..." she answers.  
Everyone 'oh's and leaves it at that.  
But then, I suddenly remember something.  
"Wait a second! We must look underneath the underneath, just like Kakashi-sensei! Kurenai-sensei... If you are happy, it probably has something to do with Asuma-san... And there was food involved... So you ate lunch with Asuma-san... Let me guess, you went to a more 'romantic' place, like I suggested?" I try, hoping that I got it right.

Judging by the color of Kurenai-sensei's face, I think I hit the jackpot.  
"Urg! Damn that Kakashi... I see that we were right to bet on you... Mastered Kakashi's annoying art already..." she sighs.  
Kiba, Ryo and Yuuki whistled loudly until the woman waved at them to shut up.  
"OK, that's enough! That's none of your business." She said only half angrily. "Now, eat up before the food get's cold! Believe me, I'm not cooking a second time for you!"  
We all laugh and do as we are told.  
She was the jonin after all.

* * *

I stared out of my bedroom window. We couldn't see the moon from here, because the trees were far too thick.

When dinner was over, Hinata, Kiba and Shino went back to their room for the night and Kurenai returned to the sensei dormitory floor.  
My team quickly took a shower. We hadn't met any of the Sand Team, since they probably washed up after their training earlier today. Then, I brought the clean laundry down from the terrace, getting chewed out once again by my friends since there was always going to be dirty outfits lying around, no matter how many trips I will make to the washing machine room during our stay.  
I noticed that Kankuro had probably already passed by, since there weren't any other clothes.

So now, Ryo, Yuuki and I were safe, clean and cozy in our little room, listening to the summer cicadas chirping in the night.  
It was peaceful, yet kind of nerve wrecking.

To know that many of our friends were out there, fighting to survive.  
I wonder if they are OK?

I then hear a crunching noise below me.  
Frowning, I bend out of the window, being very careful not to fall.  
For a second, I didn't see anything. Then, I saw a strange figure emerge from the trees.

It was a three headed zombie!  
Wait... No. After a couple blinks, I could make out what it was.  
It was Tenten and Neji holding Lee between them.

"Guys! Team Gai is back!" I gasp. "Simba! Guard the room!"  
In a blink of an eye, we are out of our rooms and rushing down the corridors, towards the arrival hall.  
Once we arrive there, however, we see that the door is locked. I guess that we have to wait for them to figure that riddle out. They don't know that all you have to do is open the two scrolls at the same time.

Our ears pressed up against the door, we wait for a minute until we hear a poof, then we know that they have summoned an adult.

The sound is faint, but we can still hear what he is saying as his voice gets closer and closer to us.  
"Congratulations on passing this part of the chuunin exams! Since it is quite late, you will receive a tour tomorrow, if you wish. Here is your room key... You might want to see to infirmary for bandages, for your teammate here... Heh, your friends might want to show you the way!"  
The door suddenly opens and the man raises an eyebrow at us.  
"Hm. Since you were eavesdropping, you will do me the favor of bringing them to the-..."

"Tenten! Neji! Oh my gosh... Lee! Lee, are you alright?" I gasp, running up to the three genins.  
They look so completely exhausted, especially Lee... Wait, of course, I forgot! He used the primary lotus on Dosu to protect Sakura today! No wonder he is in such a terrible shape, and that he is covered in blood...  
"H-Hey guys... I'm g-glad that you guys are OK, but I pass out when I-I see blood. I'm so sorry. I have to go. Congrats!" mumbles Yuuki, a hand in front of her eyes, her other hand feeling the wall in the dim light.

"It's fine! We'll catch up tomorrow OK?" says Tenten. She doesn't look too bad, just really tired, like Neji. Unlike Lee.  
"Gosh... Lee... Come, follow me guys. I'll get you what you need." I start walking and they follow me, since they probably don't know where else to go.  
A few seconds down the corridor, Ryo gasps as something in his mind makes sense and suddenly breaks into a run. He looks back with guilty eyes.  
"I'm sorry! I can't leave Yuuki all alone! Who knows what might happen to a girl all alone! There isn't much I can do anyway... I'm really happy that you're here guys! We were all worried sick! I will be in the room with Yuu if you need help!" he shouts.

I smile and nod at him. We shouldn't have left Yuuki go alone, he's right.  
I shake my head and turn back to Team Gai.  
"Come on." I call out, walking in the direction Ryo went.  
"Thanks Himeko-chan. We appreciate your help." sighs Tenten, biting her lip and looking at Lee with concerned eyes.  
He notices.  
"Do no look so full of worry Tenten! I will be fine! That Sound ninja was strong, but Sasuke Uchiha stepped in before he could finish me off! As long as I am alive, I can heal! Those unyouthful fiends will not-..." he stops and coughs loudly, making Neji hold onto him tighter. "Urg. Never mind."

After a few minutes, I am able to find the door to the infirmary in the darkness of the Tower.  
I slowly slide it open and poke my head in checking for zombies. Nope, it's empty. I sort of expected a nurse or something, but I guess that ninjas have to deal with their problems alone. Especially at eleven pm.

"Here is a bed! I'll go get the first aid kit!" I call out to Neji and Tenten, searching for a light switch.  
I find one and flip it on, then use the welcomed light to find what I need.  
Eventually, I do. Then I turn around and face Team Gai.  
When I see Lee covered in blood and bruises, I do not go into shock like I did when I saw Gaara killing those rain-nin. Instead, I hesitate between crying and puking, my normal reactions.  
I take a deep breath and shove the pre-vomit feeling away so that I can help my friends.  
I hand them the first-aid kit and look around for other things. More disinfectant, pain killers and coton swabs.  
When I find those things, I hand them to Team Gai and help them bandage Lee up.  
After a few seconds, the uncomfortable feeling fades away as I see Lee's bright smile. Damn, this boy is amazing. How can he still smile?

He tilts his head, looks at me and chuckles softly.

"Himeko-chan... You look as if you have never seen a person injured before!" he laughs.  
His laughter dies down when I continue staring at him with wide eyes.  
"Not really. I've seen people after they have come out of the operating room, but nice and stitched up and bandaged. I've seen a few large cuts, people in pain. But never a person seriously injured. I saw... um... a couple ninja get killed in the forest, but it all happened so fast, the most horrible part was the screams. I've definitely have never seen a person so exhausted and beat up with such a smile on his face, Lee-kun."

Tenten and Neji exchange a glance and both look at Lee.  
"Hn. Only Lee is capable of acting foolish enough to end up in this state in the first place." huffs the Hyuuga angrily, but I do hear the slight concern in his voice. Neji Hyuuga is nicer once out of the battleground, but only a little.  
"Don't say that! Lee was only defending the girl he loved! He was brave and noble." snaps Tenten, staring at her boyfriend with killer eyes.  
She is either pissed at Neji, tired or PMS-ing. Or all three.  
But Neji doesn't have my people understanding instincts.

"That is an idiotic thing to do when your success is on the line." growls Neji, not looking at the girl.  
Tenten's cheeks flush pink in anger.  
"What the hell do you mean by that?" she shouts/whispers, bringing her face right up in front of Neji's. I don't know what the hell he is thinking, if he didn't even learn to pick up the warning signals yet.  
Lee and I look at each other in alarm, before we both shrug.  
"I _mean_ that Lee's foolishness resulted in his injuries. He can laugh them off all he wants, but it won't heal him. It was stupid of him."

Lee is about to protest, but Tenten's throat lets out a low, animalistic sound, and we watch in panic as she slowly gets closer to Neji's clueless face, until she is about close enough to bite it off.  
Thinking back to when I first met them, I shove Neji so that his lips connect with Tenten's.

Like the first time, it works like a charm.

Lee grins and gives me a thumbs up.  
"They have the 'married couple' syndrome. They argue all the time, but it's just because they love making up." I whisper to the boy.  
I continue bandaging the green clad genin, waiting for the couple to snap out of its little trance, but not wanting to interrupt this moment where they would just shut up and feel the love.  
After a few more seconds, Tenten pulled away hastily as if she were electrocuted.  
"Himeko! Lee! Heh, um... Sorry." she grins and her cheeks flush pink, but in a good way this time, and she goes back to bandaging her teammate.  
Neji still looked in shock, but shook his head slightly and, with only a tiny crack of a smile and blush, joined us in the real world.

I lose count of time (my phone/ time teller is under my pillow) but eventually, Lee's bleeding cuts are clean and safely tucked up.  
With some help, he sits up and starts walking.  
"Thank you, friends! Rival! I am now ready to take on the next phase of the chuunin exam and make Gai-sensei proud!" cries Lee, fire burning in his eyes.  
Tenten grabs his arm before he can try to do a crazy air kick or something.  
"Lee! Give it a day before you try to do anything! Come on, let's go to bed. I'm beat. Neji, you have the keys right?"  
The Hyuuga nods and we all set off up the stairs.

They find their room and enter, waving at me. I smile and open my door.  
The lights are still on so I don't bother entering with a 'horror movie' stance, but have one knee ready to kick the zombie in the balls just in case.  
Wait, what if its a female zombie?

I sigh in relief when I see Ryo and Yuuki lying on their beds, eating one of my packs of popcorn.  
"Darn you to heck!" I seethe, pointing at them accusingly. They don't even smile. "What? What is it?"  
Yuuki gulps and shoves her face in her mattress, so Ryo answers.  
"Um, Himeko-chan... You are covered in blood."

I look down at myself, frowning, then gasp. He's not kidding.  
"Waoh. I didn't notice. Sorry Yuuki-chan. It's 'cause I helped bandage Lee. I'll go take another shower then. No freaking way I'm sleeping like this. I'm not a real ninja who can sleep covered in mud and blood." I shiver in disgust and search for a clean set of cloths.  
"Wait! Are you going to go down all alone? Ryo-kun was with me just now and it was still freaky remember?" shouts Yuuki, trying to get off of the bed and go with me, with a hand covering her eyes. She nearly steps on Simba, who meows and jumps underneath a bed.

I roll my eyes.  
"Oh, come on. What's the worse that can happen? Plus, I'm sure that Ryo-kun can't join me in the girl's bath. Just stay here, you two. I'll take the Nerf gun just in case." I snatch said item of defense up from the shelf beside my bed and go into the corridor once again. The second the door clicks behind me, I curse myself for trying to be brave.  
Who am I kidding? This place is creepy. I'm not going all the way down to the bathhouse alone! Wait, I'm no chicken! I can! There are no such thing as zombies! Oh... wait... Orochimaru's jutsu can bring back the dead! Shit!  
I turn back toward the door to my room, ready to run back in screaming, but stop. I'm just psyching myself out. I have a shield. I have a shield. I have a bad-ass shield. I have a bad-ass shield.  
I have a...

I chant the words again and again in my head, pep-talking myself and willing my feet to move forward. Amazingly, they do, and after many, long, tense minutes of robot walking in the dark, I know that I'm in front of the lady bathhouse. I slide the door open, glad that the little lamp inside the changing room is permanently on.  
I close the door behind me, infinitely relieved when I hear the click as it shuts. Silence.  
I just want to take a quick shower, but decide to take a bath instead.

Somehow, the idea of lying down in the warm, soothing water in peace after all that fear of getting mulled by the afterlife is quite appealing.  
So I take off my bloody pajama shirt and shorts to rise them quickly, then I slowly make my way towards the bath.  
Phew, there is a small oil lamp beside the water. I can see!

Keeping a towel around myself (trust me, it feels awesome to bathe with towels on) and with my trusty foam bullet shooting gun at an arm's reach, I slip into the pool. It burns a little, but in a good way.  
Best sentiment of relaxation ever!  
The only sound I can hear is the sound of my breath and of the water dripping.  
I lie back and close my eyes, trying to keep my mind free of stress and fear of having to get out and go back up the tower.  
Meh, it was worth this feeling. Well, I probably won't be thinking that once I have to go up though. I just know myself too well. I always try to play hero with myself by doing things that others are scared of doing because they have some unnecessary fears. Like the dark. And solitude.  
I don't mind being alone in the dark. I'm not scared of that.  
Just the tower. And the zombies. And Orochimaru's jutsu.

I suddenly hear a splash.  
I panic and my head darts from side to side, trying to figure out where the sound came from. There isn't anyone here with me. Or is there?  
I look over to the wall separating the boy's bath from the girl's one, and feel a coil a terror winding itself in my stomach. I don't care who it is, but the idea of being alone here with a man/dude right there freaks me out big time.  
Unless it's Shino, of course. That guy is emotionally stunted or something. But I doubt it's him. At this time? Who takes a bath at this time? Except for me, of course.

And Gaara.  
I slap myself on the forehead.  
"Himeko... You dumb ass. How could you forget? Kankuro told you just yesterday that hot redhead would be here early in the morning. Well, it should be him. If it isn't, I seriously don't want to know." I mutter to myself, slowing sinking in the water, hoping that I can make a run for it before the boy knows I'm here, a couple meters away from him, whilst he's having his private time.

I sneeze.  
Shit.  
I hear the person pause the splashing and I just know that they know that I'm here!  
If I manage to get out, I'll probably get freaked out enough to be frozen stiff and unable to walk back to my room. I really want someone to go back with me.  
I look back at the wall and sigh.  
Do I do it? Do I not do it?  
I hear my own voice answering that question without my consent.

"Um... Gaara-kun? I-Is that you?"  
I squeeze my eyes shut, and slap a hand over my mouth.  
No matter what the person answers, this is going to be awkward.

* * *

**It wasn't supposed to stop here, but the Kurenai dinner took up more space than I imagine. Sorry for those who want to kill me now :)  
I hope you liked it! And thanks for the wishes! Life is awesome :) I have now lived longer than I have yesterday.  
Thanks for reading and for reviews, I love those!  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (authoress who's 14 and likes waiting for people instead of leaving them behind)**


	24. Childish

**Hello everyone! How is life? Mine is fine! I was going to post this much earlier, but the site didn't let me edit my stories. Three cheers for Akari. Wolf. Princess for teaching me how to make it work! NOW I CAN UPDATE YAY!  
I have just realizing that writing fanfic is much easier than writing original, full length stories. I guess that I have much, much, much more to learn still! One day... One day... **

**Chuunin Exams: Day 3 going on Day 4**

**HimekoUchia: *killing zombies on some video game* DIE DIE DIE!**  
**Ryo: … What is it with you and the afterlife?**  
**Yuuki: Forget it Ryo, she is one of the last of our human race to believe in the zombie apocalypse.**  
**HimekoUchia: Uh, duh! Better safe than sorry when it comes to this! So yeah, even if it's very obvious that I don't own Naruto, I will still do a disclaimer.**  
**Ryo: ... I was talking about zombies.**  
**HimekoUchia: … Oh.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:  
__  
I look back at the wall and sigh.  
Do I do it? Do I not do it?  
I hear my own voice answering that question without my consent._

_"Um... Gaara-kun? I-Is that you?"  
I squeeze my eyes shut, and slap a hand over my mouth.  
No matter what the person answers, this is going to be awkward._

* * *

I wait. And wait. And wait.  
But no answer comes. So that means that:  
a) The person didn't hear me.  
b) The person is too shocked to respond.  
c) The person is going to attack me.

I hope it's not the last. My hand tightens around my Nerf gun, ready to defend myself against the possible rape.  
Instead, I finally decide that it's time to suck up my fear of zombies and get the hell out of here before I get mugged.  
I suddenly hear the response I was no longer waiting for.

"What are you doing here?" growls a low voice.  
I blush and sink back lower in the water, relieved yet very nervous at the same time.  
"O-Oh Gaara-kun... It's you... Phew..."  
There is a moment of silence.  
"What are you doing here?" he repeats, not as angrily this time, but I can still hear the fury in his voice. I mentally flinch, hoping he wouldn't go all Shukaku. Then again, we weren't battling or anything.

"I am unable to go to bed if I am not totally clean. I accidentally covered myself in blood, so that's why am here. To get clean. I guess it's the same for you, huh?" I answer calmly, playing with my long wet hair, trying to relax my super tenseness. I daze off for a second when I notice that I look like the little mermaid in the dim lighting of the bathhouse. Cool.  
"Leave!" he snaps, snapping me back to reality, and I can imagine the angry look in his eyes.  
I'm pretty sure my eyebrow twitches a little there. The stress of zombies made me quite irritable at this moment. Plus, I don't see his name on the bath. I stand up, splash my way across the room so that I am right in front of the bamboo wall separating us.

"OK, listen here! I don't know what your problem is! Why the hell as you so pissed at me? I didn't even do anything! I was just trying to make conversation so the awkwardness of the situation would dissipate!" I shout.  
There are a few seconds of silence, a little sloshing noise, then Gaara's voice is only about five centimeters away from me.  
"I said go away! Or else..." he threatens.

I gasp and bang my fist on the wall.  
"_Or else what_?" I whisper. "You're gonna attack me with your sand coffin? Seriously? You would do that?"  
There is a short awkward silence, then it struck me. He can't use his sand to defend himself. Because we are in a bath. And water has power over sand. And therefore Gaara is defenseless and vulnerable. Not to mention naked.  
Now it makes sense.  
"Oh... I should have realized it earlier... You are just freaked out 'cause you can't use your sand to protect yourself if someone were to attack you now. Which is probably why you take baths at this time in the first place. Oh... I'm sorry for getting bitchy Gaara-kun, but you did get angry first. I won't attack you or anything. You won't put your existence in danger around me."

I hear him exhale loudly. Wow, he must be _very_ close if I can hear that. I pull my towel tighter around myself self-consciously, trying to fight the blush that now covers my face.  
Damn it, why won't he answer already!  
"Gaara-kun... Are you OK? Please, just say something! I'm freaking out here!" I say, tapping my fingers on the wall.  
This time, he does speak.  
"Why do you care? Why do you apologize about everything? Why do you want to make sure I'm... OK?" he asks, not very loudly, but I still hear.  
"Because... I do care about how you feel. And what you're thinking. What makes you sad and happy. Things you like, things you don't... Hey, can I ask you a question?" I suddenly change subject, because my mind currently has trouble focusing on one thing at a time. And I think this could be a good opportunity to learn more about Gaara, since he doesn't seem to mind talking with me, especially if I give him all my attention and shine him in the spotlight. I think that I have found the way to get him to communicate. Make him feel important, but don't mess with his limits.  
"... Yes." came his answer, sounding slightly cautious.  
"What's your favorite color?"

I'm pretty sure even my inner self is face palming for asking such a dumb kiddy question, but, hey. It's an honest one. Plus, I know that he probably prefers this question to one about feelings. Gaara is a silent boy after all. And he answers it, so I'm not complaining.  
"Red, like blood." he responds bluntly.  
My mind flashes back to Lee's injuries that I had witnessed earlier, but I shake it out of my head.  
"Oh. Should have known. Interesting comparison. What other colors do you like?"  
"Black, like the nights of Suna. And green... and blue like... uh..."

I chuckle softly. Man, he is cute sometimes. I love hearing him talk.  
"Green and blue... like your eyes, Gaara-kun." I finish for him. Wow, I'm cheesy. I love cheese. "Just so you know, you sounded absolutely adorable saying that. Oh! Can you say... 'Rainbow pandas are chewing my marshmallows and vanilla sprinkled cookies'?"  
"No."  
"Aww... Why not?"  
He huffs in answers, but I just secretly grin to myself and lean back on the wall.

"Hey... Gaara-kun? Does it bother you when I play twenty questions? If it does, then I don't mean to annoy-..." I get cut off.  
"I still don't understand why you care. And why you keep acting like you do." he says roughly (not in his usual voice, but actually darker).  
I answered similar questions so many times, and I just really want to really "Because I love you."  
But I can't say it, not only because this is Gaara we are talking about, but because he is a guy that I like, and I am the girl who likes him. I am kinda shy about stuff like this. Typical, huh?  
"Because, Gaara-kun, as I have said a gazillion times: I care about you. You are awesome, just the way you are. Slight evil tendencies, attitude and all. Whenever I see you do something close to smile, I want to friggin' dance of happiness... Whether or not you believe me." I finish, chewing nervously on a strand of my own hair.

"I don't believe you..." he says quietly, but with so much venom in his voice, I feel something burn inside of me. I slam my head back against the wall in frustration.  
"Fine! Don't believe me! Urgh! I get that you are protective over yourself after what had happened to you years ago and that you don't want to let people in, but _seriously_! How many times does a girl have to say how much she adores you before you realize that she isn't gonna kill you?" I blush a little, but continue on with my ranting. "Being defensive is one thing that I can understand but, now, you are just acting plain stupid! Deny it. Deny it. Deny it. Doesn't make it any less true!"

Fearing that I would punch down the wall, I sigh and get out of the bath to distance myself from violent temptations. I'm pissed. This situation is starting to reach my temper limit, which seems much shorter today.  
Why won't he just listen? I'm not even asking him to marry me or anything! I just want him to stop getting grouchy every_ single _time I try to say something nice! It's not like I said what I said two seconds after we met (I had only gushed and said how awesome he was that day and he thought that I was crazy or something).

Now that we actually _know_ each other, I just want him to listen to me when I say that he isn't unanimously hated by the world... I know that he believes me, but simply doesn't want to accept it. Denies it like a child. Urgh, how old is he? It's as if he is doing it on purpose to get me pissed at him... Is he? Doesn't make sense. I shove that thought away. Gaara is stubborn, screwed up and a little oblivious, but not that much of a moron either.

Half way through changing into my clean clothes, I freeze when I realize something.  
I called Gaara 'stupid'. I had never insulted him before. Never.  
I huff, still angry, swinging my dirty stuff over my shoulder. I was a little freaked out about how he would react. Is he gonna kill me? That would really hurt, but not physically, with the awesome shields and all. I don't want him to completely loath me.  
Urgh, whatever. I can't take it back anyway, so might as well deal with the consequences instead of regretting something I could never change.

I slide open the door and step out, ignoring the chill that runs up my spine. I hate this darkness and feeling that something could jump out of the shadows at any given moment and eat my brains.  
I am creeped out, but gulp and will myself to move forward.  
I had made it about halfway to the dorms before a huge crackle of sand appeared beside me. I nearly screamed out loud, but the sound got stuck in my throat.

After a few blinks, I realize that Gaara had just appeared beside me. He stared at me, blank faced and silent, and I returned the favor.  
My mind was so full of torment and stress that I wasn't noticing he wasn't even wearing a shirt.  
Well, I was now.  
Wow. He is _fine_. Gosh, this boy was hot (yippee for ninja training).  
I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to focus on my staredown. But his pale and perfect torso and slightly visible abs (not like Lee, Kankuro, Kiba or Sasuke but still) that were still covered with water were rather distracting, even in this situation. And his red hair was towel dried quickly so was therefore sticking out in eighteen different directions. I nearly went all 'Akamaru-is-so-kawai' type of gush there, but kept it at an invisible butterfly attack in my stomach.

After another minute, we both break eye contact and walk back towards the dorms, feeling the tension leave the area and my good mood return.  
I have a feeling that if I weren't me, I would be savagely murdered by Gaara right now. I don't totally get our situation but, if it means that he stands me enough to want to leave me alive, it shouldn't be as bad as I had feared.

Once in front of our doors, he started walking towards his room.  
I clicked my tongue at him, making him turn around.  
"Hey... Goodnight Gaara-kun. Sorry for calling you 'stupid'. You are not. Didn't mean it." I smile at him, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm so pacifist sometimes.

He stares at me for a second, before snorting. _Snorting_. I have never seen Gaara do that up 'til now. Not cool. I know the second he opens his mouth that the weight on my shoulder returned, weighing fifty million tons.  
"I knew it. How can you be so _weak_? You always accept defeat. You aren't even able to hold a grudge." My lips part slowly in shock. Ouch, that made something in my chest crack. "You don't even know how to be angry. Anger and hate makes one grow stronger. It made those around me stronger as they hated me. It made me stronger. You are too weak, you stupid little-..."

Before he can even finish his sentence, my hand acts on its own and slaps Gaara full force across the face. A super fast painful fury fused Himeko bitch slap. The kind that leaves a red mark that will turn purple in a day. So much for anti-violence.  
Instead of freezing in shock like I did the first time I hit him, I step back and growl. He doesn't react to the fact that his sand wasn't fast enough to protect him. He just stands there and places a hand on his cheek, staring at me as if I were a strange looking painting or something.  
"What the hell? What do you know about growing stronger? If you knew anything about that, you would realize that it isn't about being angry or hating people. It's about protecting those you love. Anger only leads to pain. Well, you should know now, huh, _Gaara_? Let me guess, you will cover up the bruise with sand. Like every other problem you have, you cover it up with your power. There is more to you than that, OK? And yes, I don't hold grudges, but I'm not weak or stupid! I don't accept defeat, I just avoid fighting over something completely pointless and dumb! It's about time you took your head out of your ass and lived a little. Goodnight."

I stomp to my door, pissed, and open it. Before I enter the room, I turn back, feeling childish, and blow him an air kiss, enjoying the dumbstruck look on his face. I can't help but find it cute. Curse the crush.  
"Enjoy the painful mark of my love, Gaara-kun." I grin evilly and shut the door.

Ryo, Yuuki and Simba are all sitting on their beds, eyes wide as if I came in naked or something. The cat meows in panic.  
"What?" I snap.  
"Yo. We could hear the slap from here. How are you even alive?" says Ryo, in a daze.  
I huff.  
"He was too shocked to kill me I guess. He still has human reactions. It was nothing. I just... snapped. And acted... weird." I respond, throwing my dirty clothes on a chair. Ryo doesn't take that as an answer.  
"How could you hit Gaara? I mean... you... like him... and stuff."

Yuuki and I both laugh.  
"Well. Looks like he still has so much to learn." My cousin moves over so that I can sit next to her and gives our male friend one of her rare intense and serious looks. "So, Ryo-kun, if a girl smacks a dude it doesn't mean that she doesn't like him. It just means that he ticked her off while she was PMSing or that she was feeling sexually tense and, well, that explains itself."  
The guy slowly gets off the bed and awkwardly penguin shuffles over to his.  
"OK... Good to know... Bye!"

He then jumps into his covers, disappears under them and pretends to be asleep by fake snoring exceedingly loud. Well, he obviously doesn't like talking about girl stuff.  
Once we are out of his line of sight, Yuuki comes over to me and hugs me. I know that it means 'Don't worry Himeko-chan, it will be alright. You never know, Gaara might not be mad or anything. With that guy, you can never be too sure.'  
I sniffle and hug her back, really needing the warm feeling right now.  
I'm happy about everything most of the time, but I really hate thinking that someone might loathe me. I don't expect everyone to love me, but I really don't want Gaara to have murderous intentions around me because of my short temper and lack of patience when I get insulted. Plus, I always get guilty so damn easily. Even if it was the other person who insulted me.

Of course, Yuuki has a expiry time to her kindness.  
"Yah know, Hime-chan, if you were in love with Kankuro instead, you wouldn't have all this trouble. In fact, knowing you two, you would probably spend the entire night making the bed creak like a-... "  
"Shut up Yuuki."

* * *

I had the most peculiar dream about Gai laying a dinosaur egg, which hatches into Lee. They then both morph into huge-ass reptiles and go all Jurassic park on Konoha. One by one, they swallow Sakura, Kankuro, Kiba, Naruto, Choji, Tenten, Ino and Anko.  
Sasuke, Neji and Hinata take turns trying to save the day, but all end up lunch. Gaara and Temari then appear in super-tight leather outfits probably trying to look like catwoman or something (complete with whips and fake claws). But they fail and end up superglued to the Hokage's mountain face by Orochimaru and Kabuto, who were the ones responsible for all of this somehow.  
Shino ends up saving the day by getting an ax and cutting the dinosaur's stomachs open, letting everyone out. He then fills Gai and Lee's tummies with stones, sews them back together and they magically morph back into human beings.  
While all of this happened, I was sitting on a hill watching the chaos, right beside Shikamaru, Ryo and Yuuki.  
Eating popcorn.

I wake up gasping:  
"What does it _mean_?"  
Before I can even register that I am awake and that Gaara did not kill me during my sleep, Ryo flips me off of my bed. This seems to be his favorite wake up call. Yuuki laughs her butt off as I lie face down on the floor.  
"You demented lazy-ass! It's 10 am! Way past ninja time!" she chuckles, giving me a hand. "Not only do you sleep so damn much, but you wake up acting like a feng shui master too?"

I roll my eyes and hit Ryo with a pillow.  
"Well, _sorry_ if I thought that eating popcorn in a dream was unusual." I huff, crossing my arms, Gaara style, blowing a strand of hair out of my face.  
"Himeko-chan... When it comes to you and that stuff, nothing is unusual anymore." sighs Yuuki, picking out an outfit for the day.  
In a couple minutes, my entire team is ready to take on the world! But first things first, breakfast.

Once we are there, we are met with a very pleasant surprise.  
Naked guys!  
Haha, no. Even better.  
"Heya guys! Lee! You look better already!" I laugh and hug the bandaged boy and his teammates, giving my friends a very, very smug look. Hah, not all ninjas get up at the crack of dawn! "How was you first night in the haunted tower of shadows and ghostly whispers?"  
Neji shrugs. Surprise.  
"It was alright. Kinda made me miss the Forest of Death though. The baths are awesome!" I high five her on the last comment, trying to forget the 'argument' I had with Gaara, if you can even call it that. He basically told me that I was stupid and weak and I slapped him. Gosh, I feel childish now. "Oh, by the way, those chocolates were awesome. It was cool to have them around when we were terrified and cold at night. Thanks guys."

"No prob. Oh, by the way, we made way too many of those. We have over a dozen more bags left so if anyone has sugar cravings you know where to go!" Tenten and Lee do a little fist pump of victory, making Ryo, Yuuki, Neji and I chuckle. Oh, hey, Neji is alive again!  
Before I can address him, Lee grins widely.  
"Hey! You have a little cat! HOW YOUTHFUL! Can I hold him? Or her? What's it's name? HOW YOUTHFUL!"  
Yuuki hops on spot, shoving her hand in the air.  
"Ooh, ooh! Can I do it this time?" she asks. I hand over the kitten to her. She coughs and holds him out Pride Rock style. "People of the ninja world, behold the slightly-reduced-in-size King of the Jungle, Simba!"

She then lets Lee hold him and the boy goes all baby talk with the kitty. Adorable. How can Sakura reject this boy?  
Tenten scratches Simba's head but Neji doesn't try to touch him. Must not be a big cat person.  
So we spend about an hour eating breakfast with Team Gai, chatting about what happened in the Forest for them. It helps me refresh my memory a bit. Lee saved Sakura from Dosu, Zaku and Kin. He ended up beaten to a pulp, hence his injuries. Thankfully Sasuke stepped in and popped Zaku's arm out of its socket.  
So, looks like he got his curse seal. Yay...

After the meal is over, Tenten offers to do the dishes and I decide to stay and help her as all the other people leave the kitchen to do I-have-no-idea-what (probably gonna get dragged into another touring session willingly or not).  
Once they are gone, I hand Tenten some soap and we get working.  
"Yah know, I didn't expect you to accept to do the dishes without a fight, since you are pretty feminist and all."  
She shrugs.  
"Meh. If Lee did the dishes, he would probably smash them in excitement or something. And Neji... pfft, as if he would do something to help out."  
There is no mistaking the bitterness in her voice.

I bend over the sink and give her a long look.  
"Tenten... What did he do?" I ask, deciding against giving her a comforting pat on the back since my hands are wet.  
She shrugs again.  
"Nothing much... But... He's Neji you know? No matter how nice I thought he was before the exams, since, well, he was actually surprisingly romantic then, once he has entered the Forest, BAM. He changed to his old, bossy, bitchy self. Did you see how he acted when you guys gave him a birthday gift? Happy at first, then suddenly all rude. And last night, when he got all pissed at Lee for protecting Sakura..." She sighs. "Well, he seems a little more relaxed now anyway. No big deal."

I raise an eyebrow at that. Damn you, Hyuuga, why are so darn dark? Why would Tenten even like you as more than a teammate? Then again, who am to talk hypocritically when I like Gaara?  
"Tenten... As you probably realize, when it comes to Y chromosome, nothing is the same when their pride is on the line. Neji probably really wanted you three to make it out of the Forest alive so decided to put his tough-nut face on. But don't worry, he obviously really likes you if kissing you makes him silent and nice again."

I grin as the girl blushes and splashes me with water. I throw soap bubbles at her. We end up having a little water fight.  
Tenten laughs and finishes to dry the last of the plates and we stack them back into the cupboard.  
"Meh, I guess you are right." she ends up saying. "Can't change Neji if he was born like this. I guess it is one of the reasons I like him anyway. Does it make me weird, liking a dude because he can kind of be an asshole, so bad that I feel the need to punch him sometimes? It makes me feel so childish..."  
My thoughts immediately trail back to psycho redhead mean-ass hottie.  
"Not at all, I totally get you. Assholes. Yah hate them, but can't help but love them because whenever they are nice and adorable, you notice it so much more. Plus, deep down, they are often the most amazing of people after all."

"Exactly!" grins Tenten.  
We dry our hands and exit the kitchen, feeling the good mood once again.  
"Tenten, want some chocolates?" I say in a creepy pedo voice, suddenly turning towards her. She yelps and swats me in the arm, laughing.  
"Urgh, don't ever do that again... But, yes, actually! All this thinking about boys makes me need the sugar comfort."  
I summon a bag of chocs from my super handy scroll and give it to her.

"Thanks! Wow, this is a pretty big bag... Lee will probably end up eating some and go on a sugar high rampage..." We both shiver at the thought. Not pretty. It's almost as bad as imagining Lee high on coffee... But nothing is worse than that of course. "Damn, I feel so bad for your friends and Lee right now... Neji is probably going on and on and on about fate and destiny, I just know it. Should I go save them?"  
I shrug.  
"That's up to you. Oh, by the way, steer Neji away from the indoor training grounds, I'm pretty sure Hinata-chan is in there training."

Tenten nods and walks down the corridor, waving over her shoulder at me. I wave until she disappears around the corner. Just like in those cliché movies.

I turn another direction and start skipping, trying to find something to do. I tap my scroll and think for a moment, then decide that getting rid of these many, many sweets before they rot is a pretty good thing to do. Besides, everyone loves chocolate, right? Well, Baki sure does anyway. And if he likes them, I'm pretty sure that most of the other ninjas might.

* * *

**End! Hope you liked it! I put up a new poll on my profile so feel free to check that out!  
My, my, I wonder what's up with Gaara? This is a pretty important chapter, whether or not it seems so. Now, imagining me smilling like I have a secret.  
Insomnia... It hurts, people. How could Gaara deal with it for his entire life? One sleepless night makes me all sort of depressed...  
Anywho, review and thanks for dropping by and reading my story!  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (Give your love to Japan! I have a few new transfer students in my class today!)**


	25. Even Fake Ninjas Can Teleport

**Chuunin Exams: Day 4 going on Day 5 (almost there)**

**Ryo: Internet has been really messed up in the past month. Plus, we've been on holidays in a place where internet isn't around much. Himeko apologizes for any delays on her updating more-or-less-schedule that she never pays attention to in the first place.**  
**HimekoUchia: Thanks for the reviews guys! Since I posted the last chapter, my review count is now well above 200! Yeah! Y'all rock!**  
**Yuuki: So... You slapped Gaara and ditched him. I wonder how you're still even alive.**  
**HimekoUchia: It must be my extreme sexiness.**  
**Ryo: Psssshhhh.**  
**HimekoUchia: SHUT UP! I actually tested my slaps on a couple dudes and, yep, I can leave a damn painful mark.  
****Yuuki: None of us own anything associated with the Naruto world or Nat King Cole. We just want to make people laugh.  
****All: Enjoy the chapter!**  
**HimekoUchia: BTW my dream in this chapter I dreamed for real. I just love adding them in.**  
**Kakashi: Oh, great, these brats are talking to themselves again...**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_I turn another direction and start skipping, trying to find something to do. I tap my scroll and think for a moment, then decide that getting rid of these many, many sweets before they rot is a pretty good thing to do. Besides, everyone loves chocolate, right? Well, Baki sure does anyway. And if he likes them, I'm pretty sure that most of the other ninjas might._

* * *

I first go to the library to check it out. It's empty. Wow. OK. I did expect at least one person to be here.  
I shake my head and slide the door shut, then was off down the corridor, humming happy tunes to keep me going.  
Once I pass the outdoor training ground, I peek in and find Tenten with her team and my team.  
I groaned when I realized that I had just skipped halfway around the tower, in the opposite of Tenten's direction, but ended up in the same place as her.

Deciding that the Weapon Mistress was going to fulfill their needs in sugar, I run to the indoor training grounds, where, sure enough, I find Team Kurenai, sensei and all.  
"Hiya!" I scream, but the ninjas obviously heard me enter, and didn't jump in fright and pee their pants. Shoot.

Hinata and Kiba both smile widely and wave.  
"Himeko-chan!" they shout at the exact time. They stop for a moment, look at each other, chuckle nervously and look away, a little pink. Aw. Kurenai laughs and motions for me to come towards her.

I grin and penguin shuffle my way across the room. I turn to silent Shino and give him a hug. I expect him to freeze and mumble something about bugs, but to my complete and utter shock, he hugs me back and we sway sideways, for a few seconds.  
The world is ending.  
"Hello Himeko-chan." he says coolly, pulling back and acting as if nothing just happened, even if everyone present turned to statues and shattered into a million of tiny pieces in astonishment, even Akamaru. Yeah, when you are in the Naruto world, you can do that and survive.

Kurenai sticks herself back together and does a weird moaning sound, as if she were mentally unstable.  
"Damn... I need more coffee."  
I smile and hand her a bag of chocolates.  
"Here. This should work just as well."

She does a salute and opens the bag, eyes twinkling once she sees the sweets.  
"I haven't eaten something like this since I was, what, eleven?"  
I gasp and throw my hands up in the air.  
"WHAT? First Baki-sensei, now you? What is it with Jonins and never eating candy since they were young?" I huff, giving the woman a long stare.  
She shrugs, her mouth full, as she hands the bag over to Hinata so that she can have some.  
"Well, you shee, when I was shmall, I washn't shpoiled like you kid..." she replies, turning red when she accidentally showers Shino in huge bits of chocolate. "Shorry shtudent..."  
Ew. Jonin spit.

Kiba and I suddenly start to laugh uncontrollably at the sight of Shino vigorously shaking the flakes of candy out of his hair and clothes, freaking out.  
We stop giggling immediately when he gives us a horrified look.  
"You morons! My body is filled with insects!"

Kurenai, Hinata, the dog-nin and I connect out gazes and shout out at the same time.  
"OH SHIT!"  
We all hastily get the chocolate off of Shino before his bugs can swarm out of his sleeves or mouth or pores or eyeball sockets or whatever, to enjoy the feast.  
Once the boy is clean, he straightens himself awkwardly.  
"Never do that again sensei." he says calmly, glaring at the woman, who grumbles and rubs the back of her neck. "And you..." I flinch when he snaps his head towards me. "There is a reason why sugar and old people don't mix. Remember that."

I bow my head apologetically and make a noise similar to the one Kurenai was making, slowly backing out of the room, waving to Hinata, Kiba and his dog then sprinting down the hall.  
Once out of ear shot, I burst out laughing.  
"Pfffff... Shino, Shino, Shino... What would life be without you and your wise words? You act so unlike yet exactly like how I pictured you would..."

I happily continue my walk up the wonderful tower of imaginary rainbows of joy.  
Going up the stairs to the dorm floor, I finally find Temari and Kankuro who were walking down, looking kinda depressed. When they see me, their faces lose all traces of sadness.  
"OH MY GOD! HIMEKO! YOU'RE ALIVE!" They shout and wrap their arms around me in a tight hug, the type that clearly says 'Oh thank goodness! We were so worried!'.

This day is getting way too creepy for me. I return the two Suna nins' embrace then pull away, taking a step back so that I can see their smiling faces.

"OK, that was cool and all but, seriously, why did you guys do that? Why would I be dead?" I lift an eyebrow, very curious indeed. I think that I get what they're thinking though.

"Himeko-chan... You are one crazy ass person!" I try to argue with Temari but she continues. "But the damn awesomest crazy ass person! Dude, you slapped Gaara so hard he still has the mark! Even Baki-sensei freaked out! Why did you do it? But yeah... we thought he killed you..."

The siblings both sigh in relief and lean back against the wall in unison.  
I stare at them with wide eyes... Millions of thoughts wash into my abused brain.  
They expected Gaara to kill me?  
Would Gaara have killed me if I were someone else who slapped him?  
He didn't cover up the mark with sand?  
I'm alive!  
Do Temari and Kankuro care about me so much that they don't want me to get murdered?  
Haha Gaara has a mark!

"Oh... Nope, Gaara-kun didn't kill me. He pissed me off real bad, I guess. How is he?" I ask, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear.  
"Silent. Creepily silent and calm, even for him. He's probably sitting on the roof avoiding Baki-sensei and us. I don't know what you said or did last night, but, heck, whatever it is, it 's making him act _weird_!"

I frown, taken aback, trying to remember what I said or did apart shouting and violence.  
Nothing comes to mind, so I shrug it off. I'll get to the bottom of this soon enough.  
"I don't really know... So, how is everything else apart from your brother? How's Baki-san?"

Kankuro and Temari exchange a look. Kankuro clears his throat before answering.  
"Um, yeah, about him... Since yesterday after noon, he's been acting kind of... high. That's why Gaara is avoiding him. He kept grinning so much and had a happy skip to his walk. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO OUR SENSEI? We know it was you! You're the only one who could make a person act so abnormal!"

Wow. That was a quick change of personality.  
I step backwards until my back hits the staircase railing.  
"Woah, calm down! I just gave him candy! It wasn't drugged or anything!" I put my hand up, ready to defend myself, then stop.  
What will I do? Poke them to death?

I take out a bag of chocolate from my scroll, finding this the perfect moment to do so.  
"Here. Try for yourself. You'll see that it's perfectly fine... At least, I think that it is. I wouldn't know, I always act high anyway. If there is something wrong with them then...Um... Enjoy it."  
They share an awkward look, then Kankuro takes the bag and immediately opens it.  
He gives me a grin and shoves a handful of chocolate into his mouth, earning a smack on the back of the head from Temari.

"Ew! Don't do something that gross in front of my friend!" she shouts, but takes a candy and pops it into her mouth anyway.  
No one can resist the sugar magic. I guess that my theory was right.  
"Wow! These are good! Did you make them?"

I beam at them.  
"Glad you like them! Yeah I made them. With _a lot _of help from Ryo and Yuuki though. I kinda suck at cooking. Except for ice cubes. I rock at making ice cubes."

They both nod and give me a cheeky look.  
"OK, we'll let you off for making our team whack this time. See you around." smirks Kankuro, making me chuckle. Yup, there is definitely something wrong with these sweets. Aw well.  
The two teens start walking down the tower, giving me a wave as they disappear.

Then, once again, I am alone.  
_Why_ do I always end up alone? It's so weird.  
And whenever I'm alone, I always randomly bump into someone (then again, I'm not avoiding them either) or someone randomly walks up to...  
"Oh! Simba! What are you doing here? Did you ditch Yuuki?" I ask the little cat, who purrs while rubbing itself against my leg. Must have followed me or something.

Suddenly, the cat gives me a weird 'I can see the dead' look and bolts off up the corridor to the dorms.  
OK. This feline is the craziest of them all.  
"Hey! Simba!" I start my incredibly ridiculous kitty chase up the stairs and pass all the doors I can see. Why am I following an animal? Well, I guess that this little guy must be ninja or something.  
I wonder what the heck this miniature lion is trying to accomplish and where it is taking me?  
Well, actually, I kind of figured it out half way through. This cat knows me too well already.

Simba stops behind a doorway, gives me a knowing look and jumps in my arms as I walk into the laundry balcony where Gaara is standing alone. My heart starts drumming so fast that I fear that the ninja might pick the sound up.  
He hears my steps and turns his face towards me.

My eyes widen in shock when I see that Temari and Kankuro weren't kidding.

I left a mark.  
It's faint but still purplish red. Wow, I must have hit him pretty hard, since most of my slaps fade after two hours. Then again, I was really angry.  
I did think that he was going to cover it up with sand. I guess that he listened to what I told him then. Strange.

He glares at me, obviously knowing what I was staring at.  
We have a silent stare down for a few minutes. Even Simba joins.  
I lick my lips a few times. Hey, I can't help it. Seeing this hottie, even with his beautiful face bruised, does that to you. Especially since its just the two of us (and a cat), nothing is there to distract me from him. How his hair actually looks very soft, how it has grown a bit since I first saw him and how it falls over half his forehead, the back of his neck... The way his hands clench the railing tensely, tightly... so tightly that I can see all the muscles flex in his arms, and most of his upper body, actually. I remember how he looked like last night, without his shirt on. How he didn't have a body builder eight pack, but you could still see the firm lines over his abdomen.  
Well, that is me in my dream like state. Good thing that my eyes didn't move from his face, or he would have noticed me inspecting him in a totally non childish way. Lucky my peripheral vision is pretty accurate.

He huffs and turns away.  
"Don't tell me that you have come here to apologize. To prove your weakness. Just when I thought that..."  
I cut him off with a laugh.  
"Whoa, slow down there cowboy, I didn't say anything yet! The cat brought me here because he really wants to see you." Simba gives me a 'liar, liar, pants on fire!' look. I smile innocently (yup, I'm going crazy) at the animal then face the redhead again, who is now staring at me blankly. "... and... Well... I was wondering why you haven't tried to... Um..."

OK, I really want to know why he didn't kill me, but that might just be pushing it just a little.  
I shrug.  
"Never mind. It's not important I guess."

He looks back over the balcony then speaks.  
"You are the only person who has ever landed a hit on me. Twice. But... Shukaku still hasn't stirred. It's as if he doesn't even consider you as possible threat. As if he can't sense any strength in you."  
Oh, well, that half explains my thoughts.

I take a step closer to him.  
"That's cool and all but... To heck with Shukaku, no offense Mr. Shukaku sir or miss or whatever... What about you, Gaara-kun? Do you see me as a threat to your existence?"  
He dips his head so that his breathtakingly crimson locks fall over his dark rimmed eyes.

"You are obviously not completely useless. However, I don't see you as an opponent. You don't meet my gaze as if we were on a battle field where blood will be drawn. There is... something else in your eyes. Something I don't understand... And it frustrates me. Tanaka Himeko-chan... If we meet in the arena, you will make me feel alive. Your blood shall feed my power."

I admit, I was hesitating between blushing when he noticed those things about me or shivering in creep when he told me he wouldn't spare me in the chuunin exams.  
If we were to meet on the battle field, that is. He didn't say anything about in general.  
Good sign? Bad sign?  
Most ninja will kill for success anyway. I recompose myself when Simba rubs my face comfortingly.

Feeling crazily brave (chocolates ahoy!), I smirk and walk over to him. Not too close, but close enough that I give him no choice but to look at me.  
"Well then, Gaara-kun... I will make sure that we don't meet in battle." That probably could be arranged... "You might be very confident about what you would do in that situation but... I really can't say how I would react if I had to pick between you and me... If, by any chance, it does come to that... I won't go down without a fight, so don't expect me to let you kill me either."

His intense, sea green gaze burns me until I have to look over the balcony at the forest for a second.  
It is at this moment that a well timed gust of wind blows at us, making our hair fly around and the silence more chilling.

The blacked rimmed eyes blink and turn away.  
"How could you even consider hesitating between your own life and the life of another?"

I see he ignored half of my speech there. Swallowing a few times to humidify my throat, I sigh.  
"I never said that. I said between _you_ and me. And that makes the difference."  
Oh, wow. I feel my stomach tying itself into a thousand knots of horrified stress and the color rushing to my cheeks. That was a practically a declaration of love. Anyone would get it-  
"Valuing another person's existence so much... It won't help in battle."  
- unless they're Gaara. I feel relieved yet frustrated that he didn't pick up the extremely obvious hint there. I have a sudden urge to slap him again. Not happening though.

"... 'battle'," I smack my forehead in disbelief. "... Not surprised, yet completely shocked to the core. I can't believe that... Urg, whatever. I guess that I wasn't clear enough for you..."  
_  
L... Is for the way you look at me  
O... Is for the only one I see  
V... Is very very extraordinary  
E... Is for even more than anyone that you adore and  
Love, is all that I can give..._

I finally find my mobile (in the inside pocket of my jacket) after quite a few rings.  
I'm so glad I changed the ring tone since the last time something like this happened. Plus, the song pretty much summed up all I was thinking about saying, but would have probably chickened out of expressing out loud.  
Gaara's face doesn't betray any emotion.

_"Hey Himeko-chan, where are you? Team Gai is training now. Gai-sensei is here too, and wow, it's as if the spandex suit got even greener! Since they are busy, Ryo and I figured we could try climbing trees."_ comes Yuuki's voice at the other end of the line.  
"With chakra?" I lift my eyebrow. "Yuu-chan, you know that we can't..."  
_"Nope. The old fashioned way."_  
I grin.  
"Sure. Be down in a minute. Or two."

I hang up and face Gaara again.  
Actually, I am so glad Yuuki called when she did. What if I had actually told Gaara how I felt?  
He wouldn't even think twice next time he considers killing me. He hates love. He would hate me.  
Now is not a good time for stuff like this. We are going to be fighting for our lives, for freak's sakes.  
My urges to share my thoughts are way too much. Good thing this guy is so clueless and stuck when it comes to this, or I would be screwed.  
Fairytale endings don't happen so damn easily.  
Do they?

"My friend is asking me to get my butt over there. I guess that I'll see you next time, Gaara-kun. Here. My friends made some for the genins in the tower so here is your share." I pass him the bag of chocolates, which he eyes suspiciously. "They are perfectly edible, don't ask. Don't worry, I tested them a few dozen times."  
Giving him a last smile, I turn around and immediately the blush I was holding in burns across my face. I only just catching the confused, weird look he is giving me. In my peripheral vision.

* * *

Forty-seven trees and a huge load of laundry later, night has fallen once more over the land of ninja, kunais, magic and shit.  
The days seem to be speeding up as the preliminary rounds are approaching and one thing that is nagging my mind is 'were the heck are all the other teams?'  
I know that Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura are going to be arriving the last day, but what about the other guys? Team Asuma, Team Poké-ass (Kabuto)...

"Guys... Once the battling comes, what the hell are we going to do?" I ask, staring at the ceiling above my bed.  
I hear Ryo shift his covers around.  
"Fight, I guess. Actually, how are we going to do that? We can defend ourselves, we can completely shut off their minds, but... we can't... give them a show. Besides, if we make our opponents pass out instantly, we will probably be arrested, exterminated and probed by the ANBU for our incredibly dangerous ability. Not an option."

"Points to you. Tomorrow, we've got to train our kung fu stunts. I mean, we've all learned self defense, right?" My friends both agree. "But, for young chuunin-in-training ninja, we suck in terms of strength. We've got to at least _pretend_ we can kick-ass. And I've got to teach you guys how to teleport. Every ninja, even fake, can do that."  
"We could improve our 'abilities' while we're at it. I wanna know what else I can do." adds Yuuki.

We all nod in the dark and that is the end of our conversation.

* * *

"You're demented!" shouts Ryo, sliding his weapon in it's holder.

I give him an annoyed look.  
"Why? I can't control my dreams! I can't help it if Batman was smashing windows in a hotel and was trying to kill me! Man... it was creepy. The windows were smashing at a terrifying rate, getting closer to me! Then, the zombie who looks like one of the administration people in our school ate these three kids. Afterward, our English teacher made me stick a radio to the wall..."

Yuuki smacks me in the face with a pillow.  
"OUCH! Sheesh, OK, I get it! I'm going to shut up!" I yell, doing a back roll on the bed to escape from this horrendous violence.  
We go down the tower for breakfast then, for once, don't search out a genin team to invade their privacy. Instead, we pick one of the indoor training grounds (no tree in it, but many dummies. No, not the human kind.) to spend the day in.

"OK! Now, we should lower our shields so that we can spar or something!" I call out, then think. "Actually, more importantly, I should teach you guys how to teleport first."  
Yuuki lifts an eyebrow.  
"Himeko-chan... You know how to teleport, why do you even bother walking around this tower? You could escape all those scaries by zapping from place to place..."

I take a kunai from my pouch, aim at a dummy and throw it.  
It nearly hits the target but misses by a little anyway and I turn back towards my friends who are looking at me funny.  
"...Oh, right, you asked me a question! Well, I guess that I'm just used to _not _teleporting unless it's to trespass into a village. I mean, guys, think about it! If we poofed away all the time, then we would not know what could have happened if we had walked the way! Plus, it's exercise." I say in my 'teacher-knows-best' voice. The one I used to use on my young students when I tutored them. Good times, good times.

My friends roll their eyes at my attempts at authority but listen when I try to teach them the 'ninja' art of teleportation.  
"Destination. Path. Imagine yourself zooming through it at light speed. I know this may sound cheesy but you have to believe. And practice does make perfect, so don't try to teleport too far away or else... you might end up Kakashi's bedroom or something. And don't let your thoughts stray... um... that's about it."

We all spend the next two hours vigorously training the skill of ninja teleportation until Yuuki and Ryo can both zap in and out of the room without... leaving parts behind.  
My cousin sighs happily as she disappears around the room.  
"This is easier than it looks once you get the hang of it!" she squeals.

I shrug.  
"Duh. If it was that difficult, ninja wouldn't do it so effortlessly in the blink of an eye!"  
Ryo poofs next to me.  
"I wish I listened when you tried to teach me this, right when we arrived in this world."  
My eyebrow twitches and I smack him on the head.  
"Yeah, if you were only paying attention instead of trying to poke me in the leg with a kunai."

Both my teammates snigger and stay beside me.  
There is a second of silence and everyone hears an imaginary pin drop.

"Let's train our weird powers guys! Yuuki-chan, you first!"

* * *

"This dummy was built in a special training equipment store in the center of Konoha. The man who made this particular one is in his late thirties, has dark brown hair and was wearing a blue shirt with gray stripes when he made it." announces Ryo, taking his hand off of the sandbag person.

Yuuki and I share a shocked look and give him a round of applause as he bows.  
"Wow. You have managed to expand you power to see memories of people to seeing the memories of object when you touch them! If I may say so myself, that's pretty awesome! It's the perfect skill if you are gathering clues during a mission and crap! Not much you can use it for in battle as far as I know though." I clap him on the back as he smirks, extremely proud of himself.

"Well... I can see memories of objects, Yuuki-chan can chose to disable, strengthen one of or all of her five senses. Or anyone other person's for that matter. And knowing you can invaded their body to borrow those senses... Jeez, its like you got your powers from a Yamanaka's cousin or something. Himeko-chan... We still haven't figured you out, though."  
I shrug.  
"I've never really tried to do anything else with my mind. If I should take a guess... Ryo-kun, your powers are more information gathering, Yuuki-chan, you have some dangerously creepy sensoryt attacks going on... I guess I'm the defensive one?"

"Tsk, you sure are."  
I whack Yuuki on the shoulder at that comment, then comb a hand through my hair.  
"I dunno... I know that I could make minds into communication channels, but I sooo don't want to invade minds, people are freaky. Reading their minds could help to decide on what counter attack I should use before they even attack themselves, but... If they act without thinking, its harder to pin point their actions."  
"Kinda like this?"

I turn just as Yuuki throws a kunai at me. Screaming in fear, I immediately raise my hand and shield.  
The knife stops in mid air, too far for it to be stopped by my energy armor. My eyes widen in shock and I take a step towards it, gaze fixated on the levitating object.  
I make circular motions with my hand and it starts spinning.

"Himeko?"  
"GYAAAAH!" I snap out of my trance, very startled indeed.

I jump out of the way as the kunai nearly stabs me in the arm when I lost my concentration, making it randomly fly in a direction (towards me... danger).  
My friends laugh at my red face.  
"Pfffff... Looks like you found out what you can do! Himeko-chan... For your safety and the safety of others, please don't do that again 'til you get practice. You could have stabbed someone. Looks like this technique needs your full attention... Meh, we're doomed. We all know you can't focus unless you are staring intently at Gaara."

I glare at Ryo and crack my knuckles, making him flinch.  
"Boy... I think it's taijutsu time!"

* * *

**I have realized that while our OC team has pretty cool powers, they would be doomed in the chuunin exams. If they actually use those powers in front of the spectators, they would be immediately exterminated by ANBU, neighbor paranoid villages, their ninja friends...  
So, how did you like this chapter? It's almost the end of the Tower days (thank god!)! I wonder how long it will take to get Gaara... We have an entire month between phases of the chuunin exams, so we can work the parings then. I hope no one is too OCC. I try to keep them in character but, really, the only person who can do that is Masashi Kishimoto-sama. Once we fanfic writers use the ninja, they are no longer in character much anymore anyway.  
Hope you liked it!  
Read, review, and barbeque chips!  
XOXO ~~ HimekoUchia (Akatsuki? *Wink wink*).**


	26. Akatsuki: Unlucky Red Hair

**We haven't seen one of these in ages haven't we? I didn't really update on every special occasion... Missed Easter... So here it is anyway. Sorry for those who look forward to Akatsuki Plans. Happy end of school year! Happy almost end of school year for me! Happy summer! Happy late Buddah's birthday too I guess!  
I forgot to mention ages ago that I've got a new poll up, so go vote!**

**The Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 3: Unlucky Red Hair**

**HimekoUchia: So, as a recap, Yuuki and Ryo set of firecrackers while Sasori-sempai was trying to convince me to make my Pinocchio deadly and bloodcurdling creepy like Chucky.  
Ryo: Your welcome.  
Yuuki: So... This is going to be interesting.  
HimekoUchia: I don't own anything! Not Naruto, not Apple! If I did... The Akatsuki would remind you of... *plays a video of the Teletubbies* Yeah you get the picture. Actually, I do own my incredibly awesome dream once again. I had that exact dream. Yes, I was reading 'The Enemy' by Charlie Higson before going to bed. If you didn't read that book, I strongly recommend it for those who aren't afraid of a little gory zombieness.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_He is interrupted by a string of loud, exploding sounds.  
My eyes widen in horror.  
Firecrackers. Shoot.  
Sasori looks at his door, then at me.  
"What was that?"  
I sigh and get up, realizing that I couldn't feel my behind anymore.  
"Let's just say that you boss will be pissed when he comes back."_

* * *

Sasori, Pinocchio and I walk out of the room and to the edge of the staircase so that we can see the commotion below.  
Itachi is currently trying to remove the black marks and craters all over the common room floor whilst Kisame and Deidara are storming up to the room I share with my friends. They thump on the door swearing profusely. Wow, I can only imagine if it were Hidan there...

I ran up to them as quickly as I can, just as my friends open the door, plastering fake innocent looks on their faces. When they see me they push past the two infuriated rogue-nin and hug me.  
"Oh my gosh! You're alive! We thought Sasori... Oh, hey Sasori-san." Yuuki grins sheepishly when she spots the puppet master over my shoulder. Turning my head around, I see him give my friends and I a very blank look. He probably has no idea that the firecrackers were supposed to distract him from man-handling me or something.

Now my team is glaring accusingly at him and the other two ninja are so confused they stopped cussing. Awkward.  
"Um... Don't worry! Nothing bad happened!" I smiling as happily as I can muster and shove my friends into our room. "Sorry ninja people! I'll explain the explosives later!"

I slam the door, spin towards Ryo and Yuuki, then I start laughing.  
"Hah! Morons! You actually threw firecrackers out of the door!"

"Um, yeah? We only had the super-size kind, the type you use to wake the dead. They left a mark. So, if I got this right... You weren't getting raped and/or stabbed?" asks my cousin, giving a horrified look towards the general direction we knew a bunch of S-rank criminals were standing.  
"Nope. He was actually teaching me how to make... Hey! Where did Pinocchio go?" I freak out, thinking about all the cruel things the mean old ninjas might be doing to the little man of wood.  
I slam the door open... and I burst out laughing again.

Kisame is holding the doll by its arms and making it dance, singing these exact words.  
"My name is Sasori-of-the-Red-Sand! I'm made of wood! And if I could! I would shake your hand!"  
How brave of him, considering that the puppet master is fuming behind him whilst Deidara seems to hesitate between being extremely amused or disgusted by the eternal art.

My friends and I all chuckle, making Blue-man grin, obviously pleased with himself for inventing that.  
Well, looks like the killer man with the fish sword is in a good mood. Positive. But the dude that uses dead bodies stuffed with knives as weapons, who used to be happy, is now pissed. Negative.  
Then Itachi walks up the stairs absolutely not in the joyful category.

"I'm not the one explaining to Leader-sama why we have a dark hole in the middle of..." he spots all of us around a tiny puppet. "... what the dango?"  
Kisame's face doesn't turn red, but his embarrassment in front of his cool teammate is clear. He hands Pinocchio to Sasori, who nods his head towards me, not wanting people to think that he was the one to make it. That would totally ruin his street cred.

Itachi stares at us as if we were completely retarded, then shakes his head.  
"... Explanation?" he sighs, probably reaching his limit today.  
Yuuki stares at Ryo. Ryo stares at Yuuki. They both stare at me. I stare back. They shove me forward.  
Traitors.  
I shuffle under the gaze of the four powerful men. My eyes meet Sasori's for a second and I know immediately that he doesn't want to be dragged into this mess. Fair enough.  
But damn... this is such a lucky day for me... hahaha... sarcasm.  
"Um... Well, you see, this is what happened. My butt was super numb, so I told my friends that I was going to take a little walk. I said that if I wasn't back in a certain amount of time, then I was probably getting iced and glazed and ready to be baked in an oven for dessert, so they should... throw firecrackers to distract my assassin so that I could escape. I ended up losing track of time and forgot to return, so... boom." My hands do a little rocket-landing-from-space-and-exploding motion.

Judging by the grin Deidara is sending me, he likes my ending. Itachi and Kisame look about ready to face palm and Sasori ruffles his red hair, staring blankly at Pinocchio who is now sitting quietly on the steps of the staircase, inanimate.  
Being the smart(est) one, Itachi snaps his fingers at me.  
"Himeko-san. If your story were true then... Where did this _puppet_ come from?"  
Darn. Everyone turns towards Sasori. He looks at me, expressionless.  
"Um... Hey! Come on! You guys seriously think that Sasori-sem-... Sasori-san would make something as ridiculous as a little wooden boy?" I laugh. "That would just a little creepy, now would it? A creepy, creepy fetish. Actually, you see, this little guy was made by... uh, Kankuro of Suna. I met him way back and we became pretty good friends so he gave me this puppet as a gift. I brought it along with me because it's awesome."

I mentally give myself a clap on the back for the excuse. Plus, everyone seems to believes it, even my friends. Then again, it's more believable than 'Sasori decided to take me up as a student and teach me, an annoying teenage girl, the arts of puppet making. He didn't try to kill me'.  
"Very well." sighs Itachi. He seems to sigh a lot. "As long as you make all traces of that explosion disappear, this won't be reported to Leader-sama. Deal?"

My friends and I exchange confused glances. This was weird.  
"Um, yeah! Sure. But... why aren't you going to report us to your boss? Don't you want us skewered?"  
Itachi stays silent, obviously not the one that wants to give away his motives. Deidara snorts and steps up.  
"Tsk. None of us want the boss to know that us qualified Akatsuki can't handle three brats! He might kill us! Or, even worse: promote Tobi!"

"Ooooooooooooh. OK. Deal." chorus my friends and I, finally getting what these S-ranked criminals feared. Pein-sama's wrath and Lollipop Mask Secret Uchiha dude. Laugh out loud mentally.  
It takes a heck load of time (unfortunately, not of us have stone repairing ninjustus up our sleeves), but my friends and I eventually manage to make the black firecracker marks disappear (using a now ruined kitchen knife and soap) and try to patch up the hole that's left. In the end, we had to beg Deidara for some of his non-explosive clay to fill in the gap.

We then quickly eat dinner before the sun can set, in case something horribly dangerous decides to visit the Akatsuki base and eat my hair off or something.  
Walking up the staircase to our room, there is quite a view of down bellow. The white clay patches that dot the gray floor look like bird poop. Gosh, Pein is gonna be happy when he comes back.

There is a shower in our bathroom, so it's a pretty short time before we go to bed.  
Yuuki passes out in a minute, Ryo and I play Mega Jump on our Itouches until my teammate falls asleep as well.  
I am then the only one conscious in the room. In this creepy, dark room. In place where dead and undead alike can come and kill us. With that thought, I slip into the world of slumber. 

* * *

My friends are standing over me when I open my eyes, scaring the living bleep out of me.  
"Himeko-chan? You were grinning in your sleep..." starts Yuuki, but I suddenly bolt upright in my bed, remembering my dream.  
"HOLY JASHIN! My dream was _epic_! All the adults in the world were zombies and were trying to kill us! I grabbed a shotgun and took a train to Moscow, shot a bunch of zombies from the windows, and I recruited teen soldiers and we had to disguise ourselves to cross the boarder into Italy! We had to cut a hole in an electric fence and swim across a dam! Once we arrived in Italy, the zombies tried to bomb us in zeppelins with Smecta written all over them! They missed and we took another train to England. There was a huge levitating television screen there with the face of a normal human lady telling all kids in hiding to go to the Arsenal stadium if they wanted candy. Right when she said that, the bottom of her mask cracked and we could see the zombie skin! So I had to go see the zombie president and compromise with him to save the dumb brats' lives! We promised to raise cattle for them to eat if they spared the children since, after all, if they were all eaten then humanity would be extinct. I woke up before hearing whether or not he agreed to the terms and conditions. Funny... the zombie president looked like our math teacher, Ryo!"

My two friends frown in worry, share a look, then look back at me with 'crazy, crazy nutcase' written all over their faces.  
"Himeko-chan... I'm sorry to tell you this but... Russia doesn't share a boarder with Italy." sighs Ryo.  
"Wait a second..." suddenly exclaims Yuuki. "Isn't Smecta a brand of diarrhea medicine?"  
I nod slowly and all three of us burst out laughing.

"Seriously? People could think that you were eating crap of the floor or something..." snorts Ryo, pulling me out of bed by the arm. I stumble for a second then regain my balance. I change and do all the morning routine in the bathroom until my teammates threaten to break down the door, take pictures of me butt-naked and stick them around the base.  
We discreetly tiptoe to the kitchen, glad that we didn't spend the night in the dungeon like Deidara wanted us to. Good old Sasori-sempai, all nice to us for a creepy reason we have yet to find out.

We were eating instant ramen, minding our own business when we suddenly hear a voice behind us.  
Two voices actually.  
We turned around.  
There was only one person behind us.  
And of course, it had to be _him_.

"Well, well, well... Trespassers are here to steal our food?" said white Zetsu.  
"I guess that this means lunch for me!" replied black Zetsu, licking his lips as the bi-colored plant started marching towards us. Oh, he looks hungry too. Just our luck.

Ryo and Yuuki exchange a terrified look and shove me forward. I gulp, then flash my biggest grin.  
"H-Hello, Zetsu-san! We aren't trespassing! Well, we _were_, but now we are honorary prisoners!" I laugh. "So if you didn't eat us, that would be highly appreciated!"  
The two Zetsu halves share a look (how is that possible?) and continue stalking towards us.

"Quite brave, this one, for trying to stop us!" mused the white half. The dark half was meaner.  
"Brave? I would say stupid and brainless! No one sane would enter the base..."

My eyebrow twitched. Wrong. Thing. To. Say.  
I hate being called stupid. 'Stick toothpicks in your belly button' type of hate.  
Ryo and Yuuki both shake their heads, going 'oooomph', doing a thumbs down to the plant ninja.  
"Stupid? Look who's talking weed brain... No offense, white half! You walk around like you're sooooo cool just 'cause you can merge into trees and eat people! Well, you know what? Just last week, I ate CANDY made out of your relatives, uhuh, that's right who'se the new bitch in town!"

Zetsu looks taken aback for a moment.  
"Great. She's loud-mouthed too... Brat." seethes the dark side.  
"Ignore black Zetsu! He's not friendly and a delicious potential meal escaped us a few hours ago. Thank goodness you three are here! We were starving!"

My last ounce of bravado has deflated out of me and I back away to stand next to friends, and we are ready to fight, defend or teleport the second he makes a move.  
Our plan immediately flies out of existence when Zetsu starts opening his fly trap. It reminds me a lot of something evil and bloody from some sort of horror movie.  
I think Yuuki freaks out just a little.  
Did I get cursed by those firecrackers yesterday or something? Everything seems to go wrong.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! STOP! Don't touch me there! This is, my no no square! R. A. P. E. Get your penis out of me!" she hollers, hiding behind Ryo.  
Now the Zetsus aren't the only confused ones. Ryo, Sasori and I are staring at her as if she is a lunatic.  
Sasori?

There is an awkward minute of silence as the red headed puppet master glances blankly at us, then at Zetsu, then back at Yuuki.  
"... I doubt that Zetsu-san would do something of that sort." He says, breaking the tense atmosphere with his young voice. He turns to the Akatsuki spy pro. "They have been caught in the proximity of the base. They had something... special that protected them from any of our attacks. It might interest _him_. We were waiting for Leader-sama to return and make the decisions."

Sasori seems to be almost asking for permission, but at the same time the look in his eyes clearly says that he doesn't want to lose this argument. Since it's about our life and death, I'm with the redhead on this one, even if a part of me would rather end up brunch than look Sasori in the eye after what he had just heard my cousin scream.  
My friends and I let out a sigh of relief when Zetsu nods understandingly.  
The white half whistles.  
"Hmm... Indeed... If they have survived you and Deidara-san then they must be very..."  
"... interesting. Pity, I was hungry." finishes the black half. Wow, creepy sentence finishing unison. I've got to try that one with someone.

"Hm... Just saying... With all the popcorn Himeko-chan eats, you might get an indigestion trying to go cannibal on her." adds Ryo under his breath, but we all heard it. I growl and smack him on the head.  
Sasori and Yuuki sigh in exasperation at the same time (weird... didn't know Sasori could sigh) and Zetsu tilts his head sideways.  
"... How old are they?" asked the black half.  
Sasori was about to reply then he realized that he didn't know the answer.  
"We're all 13. Ryo-kun is older than me by a few days and Yuuki-chan is younger than me by two months." I help him out.  
Both rogue-nin give us a short stare before both turning away and walking out without a word, leaving us behind with three bowls of cold instant noodles.

I sigh in relief.  
"Sasori... This is not the first time he has saved our asses from barbeque. This is getting more and more confusing. Darn these ninja with secret ulterior motives. One day... One day..." I shake my head and both of my friends groan and stick our food in the microwave. Don't ask me how the Akatsuki managed to plug a microwave in a friggin' cave wall. Where do they even get this electricity from? I didn't see a power plant around the area. Then again, I was blindfolded for most of the clay bird trip.

* * *

Once we step out of the kitchen, we pass Itachi, Kisame and Deidara sitting on the couch (no idea why they would be together... Blondie hates Uchihas?), staring intently at us.  
OK. These adult men are getting way creepier than I expected them to be.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I sigh, but cross my arms, waiting for their question.  
Kisame is the one to ask it.  
"Akatsuki aren't usually curious but... Seeing Sasori-san and Zetsu-san walk out of the kitchen after hearing cries of rape is bound to be... interesting." he mumbles.

My friends and I face palm, then Ryo and I turn to glare at Yuuki.  
The boy on my team clears him throat.  
"Um... We were nearly turned to a cannibal meal and... Yuu-chan's first reaction was to shout for help. Figures."

The three men share a tiny look of disappointment. Damn, that's offensive.  
"We wanted to know how you would cope with Zetsu-san and his... appetite. Looks like Sasori-san must have a soft spot for you or something."  
Before Kisame's sentence is even finished, my friends, all the Akatsuki present in the room and I all burst out laughing.  
Soft spot? Sasori? When pigs fly!  
Oooooh look a flying pig!  
Nah, not really.

We all come down from our happy high and then there is a super duper awkward moment of awkwardness as we realized what just happened.  
No one talks for what seems like forever, so my team and I slowly crawl our way out of the common room and up the staircase to our room.

We get Pinocchio to keep an eye on the corridor and base until we know that the coast is clear, before we resume our classic spot right outside of our door to be able to breath beautiful unpolluted air.

"I'm bored. Imma go bother Sasori-sempai, you guys want to come?" I ask my friends, standing up.  
The exchange a look.  
"Nah. Yuu-chan and I will try to make a basic map of the base so that we don't get too lost." answers Ryo, getting up as well, pulling a blank piece of paper and a pencil out of his pocket.  
I hand him my tiny puppet so that he can use it to take souvenir pictures and then I make my way across the staircase complex and knock on the redhead's door.

Thump.  
That was the door.  
Thump.  
That was something behind the door.

It swings open and Sasori is standing there and... well... I can smell the blood coming from his room perfectly fine even standing out here. Yippee.  
"Uh-Uh... You a-are making h-human puppets?" I shiver, backing up.  
He seems unfazed by my obvious sissy attitude when it comes to gutting people. He acts like everything is totally cool.  
"Yes. Zetsu-san brought me a body. It isn't incredibly interesting to work with, just a typical messenger-nin. No strange powers like you three. Better than nothing, to make sure that I don't get rusty when brat and I are off base-keeping duty once Leader-sama has returned. Shouldn't be long now."

I nod, deciding to breath from my mouth.  
Shit, I can taste it too.  
I then decide to breath from my ears... ahh... much better.

"Guard duty must kinda suck for y'all, I guess. No worries about getting rusty (wait, is that a pun?), I'm pretty sure someone with your skill, talent and ability will never have to worry about that."  
He looks really happy I said that. Man, ninjas are so deprived of compliments, it's sad.  
"Yes... You're right... I am a genius of puppet work. Never shall the power of eternal art be wasted or forgotten. It lives on." He gives me a long, silent look then continues on. "Knowing that... it keeps masters such as myself from losing ourselves. Our art keeps us company and the feeling of accomplishment keeps depression away."

I don't point out to my dear Sasori-sempai that what he did to his body was basically a good definition of 'losing oneself'. He was hardly even considered human. But I guess that... it must be pretty sad to be powerful like that. Pushing everyone away. Lonely. Feared. Misunderstood.  
He probably doesn't even realize what I am thinking.

I grin.  
"I get what you're saying, Sasori-sempai! There are some times when I feel depressed... But, then, I remember... I'm a smart-bad-ass crazy freak with red hair. Therefore, if nothing, I will always be awesome. Even if I have received threats of being thrown into a bonfire for being a witch. Love my family and friends. Being a red head does complicate life, does it? Makes people automatically assumed that you're evil or mentally unstable. Most of the time, they are right too. Don't know a single normal person like us. We are doomed to living extra-ordinary lives!"  
Gaara goes all crazy awesome, Sasori turns evil, Kushina Uzumaki dies on the day her son is born... We are cursed or something! I'm next.

He instinctively ruffles his own ginger top. I want to touch his hair too! It looks soft yet... fiber like?  
Sasori then catches a strand of _my_ long red hair between his wooden fingers.  
It makes my breath catch. Shock? Surprise? Fear? Giddiness? You name it.  
"Hm... I forget what natural hair feels like. It's softer that all that puppet hair. Anyways, I definitely won't go around touching Deidara-baka's hair to check." he snorts and lets my hair drop back onto my shoulder.  
Snapping out of my freak, I realize something.  
"Wait... so... you can actually feel stuff? Like softness?"

The expression on his face immediately proves that he didn't mean for me to notice that.  
"Yes... I am equipped with sensory pads under my finger tips and palms. It helps identify material quality simply by the touch." he explains reluctantly, as if being able to feel just a little was incredibly weak.

I tilt my head to the side and groan in frustration.  
"Jeez... Thanks a lot Sasori-sempai! Now, all I want to do is go touch Deidara-san's hair!"  
The edges of his lips twitch up, then his expression suddenly turns blank. Scary. Very, very scary. Oh my gosh. What?

I spin around and realize that nothing is behind me. I turn back to Sasori, feeling too freaked out.  
"What? Sasori-sempai, what is going on?" I cry out, waving my hand in front of his face.  
He snaps out of it and looks at me.  
"Oh... I saw your friends leaving your room and... I forgot to mention that Hidan was back."

I feel my face going pale and my blood freeze. My whole body goes frozen, actually.  
Himekocycle anyone?

Forgetting about the puppet master completely, I turn around and start running down the staircase.  
If Yuuki was ready to use Ryo as a human shield when faced with Zetsu, who knows what she could do out of fear of pain and blood? And knowing Hidan's 'ritual'...  
Shoot.  
I just realized that I had no idea which way they went!  
Sasori magically pops up behind me and taps me on my right shoulder and points down a corridor in that direction.  
I grin and salute him, dazed that he would help me out even if he doesn't particularly like me, as far as I know.  
I then start jogging down the hallway to my left. I see two shadows up ahead and sigh in relief.  
"Yuu-chan! Ryo-kun! Wait!" I call out, stopping behind them.

They are super tall, wearing Akatsuki cloaks and one of them has a big-ass scythe on his back.  
When I realize what I've gotten myself into, it's far too late.  
Hidan and Kakuzu turn around and their faces look confused, then the looks change.  
They change to the same look that I get when I see a blueberry buttermilk muffin on a plate of molten chocolate fudge brownies topped in ice cream.  
Happy murderous hunger.  
F. M. L.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!  
Oh my goodness, busy busy busy! Yeah, that's a crappy excuse. I just have problems getting into writing mode, but once a do... KEYBOARD MANIAC! I have to do a theater performance soon, so I had to give time to that.  
And the homework... what can I say? I try to update around once a month for all of my continued stories but... it's a bumpy schedule for the end of school year, so bear with me!  
'And Now I'm Stuck Here With You' will be updated as soon as... let's just leave it at that.  
Read, review, love and smile :)  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (ginger pride)**


	27. Rooftop Tales: I Think He Can Read Minds

**Chuunin Exams: Day 5**

**HimekoUchia: Over a year and I still haven't made it past the pre-liminary rounds yet... Sorry guys, I just got off school and had to immediately get ready to go to Thailand, so it's been busy and internet lacking. Sorry again and thanks for reminders and reviews! At least this chapter is so long I had to make TWO PARTS!**  
**Yuuki: You spend too much time fighting over the computer with you brother and mother. Plus, you're also writing the Akatsuki side series. And an unrelated one-shot. What a dummy.**  
**HimekoUchia: Shut up. I'm the author. You're not even a real person, really. At least Ryo is! But I still own all my OCs... which is the only thing I own.**

**If you guys have some specific lines of the story (said out loud) that you think should end up on the Best Of!, then tell me which one in a review! I sometimes forget which ones I wanted to add... freedom of speech is a wonderful thing (even if I live in china) so vote on my poll!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_"Pfffff... Looks like you found out what you can do! Himeko-chan... For your safety and the safety of others, please don't do that again 'til you get practice. You could have stabbed someone. Looks like this technique needs your full attention... Meh, we're doomed. We all know you can't focus unless you are staring intently at Gaara."_

_I glare at Ryo and crack my knuckles, making him flinch._  
_"Boy... I think it's taijutsu time!"_

* * *

_Best of!_

"_I am still human and have a natural reaction to your... comical discomfort." -Shino Aburame  
_

_"Himeko-san, you are not normal. Who are you? What are you?"-Sasuke Uchiha  
"Um... A girl?" -Himeko  
"Stop messing with me!" -Sasuke Uchiha  
"Huh? What do you mean Sasuke-kun? I am a girl. Do you need proof?" -Himeko  
_  
_"What did you just call me?" -Kankuro_  
_"A perv. I know that you are, don't deny it. Oh, and there is this series called Make-Out Paradise if you're interested. I hear that it is very... graphic." -Himeko_  
_"I've already read all of the books." -Kankuro_

_"I called him Kankuro. I pretended that he was my real brother, until I realized that I didn't need him. So I got rid of him by shredding him to pieces." -Gaara  
__  
"Why? Himeko-chan, why won't you let me zap him? His arms are filled with metal tubes, so it would __be so cool to see..." -Ryo  
__"No. You cannot taser anybody except in emergencies that include, but are not limited to, murder, rape __or old pedophiles staring freakishly at you, got it?" -Himeko  
__  
"I even know a girl who really likes you, but I can't tell you her name, because fans like to remain anonymous. I think." -Himeko  
"A girl huh? I'd like to meet her." -Kankuro  
"Oh... I said a girl? I meant a guy." -Himeko_

_"YOU! Who ever you are, you aren't my idiotic brother! So... please! Stay this way! I'd rather have you than the dumb ass I have to deal with everyday!" -Temari (about Kankuro)_

_"Because... Suna already hates me. But, if the Kazekage and Baki caught me cross dressing... I could never live it down." -Gaara_

_"You will pay brats... Watch out in the forest... I will come after you..." -Orochimaru  
"Oh my god! It's a date then?" -Yuuki  
"Are you mocking me?" -Orochimaru.  
"Yes!" -Us_

_"I think that all that popcorn has finally gotten to her brain." -Ryo_

_"Ah... I think that all this relaxing heat is melting my brain..." -Temari_

_"Oh my god... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!" -still Temari_

_"Bathhouse... Boys... NAKED MEN!" -Ryo_

_"Oh my god... Who is the punk who took my food? I bet that it was Sasuke... I knew that there was something strange about that guy the second he gave me those cookies!" -Himeko (lack of sleep)_

_"Gaara-kun... You would make an awesome dancer... 'Cause your ass is nice..." -Himeko (needs to sleep more)_

_"I want to make some delicious edible stuff, since my dream has inspired me to do so!" -Himeko (and ninja schedules really don't mix)_

_"Come on kitty! Just try launch yourself with your back legs and do a tumble. Not to hard right?" -Moron number 1 (Yuuki to Simba)_  
_"Yeah! You have nine lives anyway right?" -Moron number 2 (Ryo to Simba)_

_"Yah saying that all of this was about that little ball of... stuff?" - Kankuro (about Simba)_

_"Kankuro. Temari is being possessed." - Gaara (when Temari baby talks to Simba)_

_"You seem to know about our-... SHIT! What the... Oh, it's just a cat." - Baki_

_"Damn... I need more coffee." - Kurenai (when Shino acts sweet)_

"Wow. This list is getting so long." mumbled Ryo, reading over my left shoulder. I nod and switch off my computer. When sitting up straighter, I brush up against his arm, and I don't miss the look of pain that he is trying to suppress.  
I sigh guiltily.  
"Sheesh, Ryo-kun. I had no idea you were so tender."

He huffs and gets off my bed to sit on the chair in our room.  
"Me? Tender? Pssh. No. You're just crazy. If I didn't get my shield up, you would have killed me. Remind me never to mention Gaara in front of you ever again."  
"Guuuuuys stop arguing!" moans Yuuki. "At least we can pretend to kick butt now!"  
Ryo and I both huff and look away from each other, then look back grinning.  
The guy leans over and stretches his hand towards me.  
"OK... Let's say that if I don't make fun of your hilarious crush on Gaara the killer ninja, you avoid the balls. Deal?"  
"Deal. But if you piss me off, I'll make sure that you'll have to adopt." I shake his hand.

Yuuki's eyebrow twitches a couple times. Even with her strange sense of humor, she still has to get used to Ryo and I's blunt best friend understanding moments, I guess, since he and I have known each other for so many years now.  
Even if Yuuki is my cousin, I haven't seen her all that much before dragging her with me to the Naruto dimension. She did live extremely far from Ryo and I, and she only knew the guy on our team for about a week before our inter-galactic trip thingy. I knew that she would adore coming to the ninja world with us, though, because she loved reading manga and once tried to convince me to build a zip line in our grandmother's backyard during the summer holidays, so it proved her adventurous spirit and toughness.  
Good times... Good times...  
I still remember our groans of pain during the failed tries...

I snap out of my reveries and stand up, dusting my clean clothes off. We had finished training, eaten dinner, taken a bath (joined by Tenten halfway through) and I had stuffed every single dirty item of clothing my team owned, not a sock less, into washing machines so that we could pack up sweet smelling laundry tomorrow after the preliminary rounds.  
Shit, tomorrow is the preliminary rounds.  
I still can hardly believe that we're actually gonna do this. It's all terrifying and not much excitement, except for Ryo who likes kicking butt. I just like bitch slapping. Yuuki just likes bitching. Love my team.

"What time is it?" I ask Yuuki.  
She glances at her watch.  
"It's only eight thirty pm. Why?" she questions, scooping Simba up in her arms, knowing that the look in my eyes meant I had something planned.  
I grin and drag both of my teammates out of our room, into the corridor.

"The first time I did the laundry, with Kankuro-kun, we found this door that leads to somewhere. Even if not everyone has arrived, this will probably be the last chance at chilling between acquaintances or maybe even friends. So, Yuu-chan, you convince Team Gai to come. Ryo-kun, I'll leave you in charge of Team Kurenai. Leave the Sand Sibs to me. We'll all meet up on the balcony once we're ready. Remember... Don't get busted by jonins!"

We separate, each walking up to a different door.  
I knock, holding my breath.  
Temari opens and smiles nervously.  
"Himeko-chan? Is something wrong?" she whispers, probably expecting me to share some bad news. Ninjas are so pessimistic.  
"Nothing is wrong. Were you guys sleeping?" The kunoichi shakes her head, so I continue. "My team and I were just wondering if you would want to join us and hopefully the other teams present on our little exploration? You see, there is this secret door on the balcony, and it probably leads to somewhere cool. We could be teenagers for one last night before the exams turn us against each other."  
Kankuro appears behind Temari. Holy Jashin! I can see his face! He ain't wearing purple circus makeup! Looks good.  
"Oh. The one that we found?" He ignores the curious look Temari is throwing him and I.  
"Yep."  
"Cool. I'm in. As long as those other brats don't whine like babies. Not you, Himeko-chan. You are one of the few younger people I can stand." No duh, since he hit on me the first day we met. "Your friends are pretty cool too. One question though... will there be booze?"

Temari smacks him on the back of his head as I chuckle, then stop and give him a serious glare.  
"No. We have fizzy drinks and a bunch of guilty pleasure snacks."  
"Sure, why not? I love free food." smirks Temari, then she turns her head around, into the darkness of the room. "Gaara... Himeko-chan is here. She found a mysterious door with Kankuro. Wanna come?"

There is second of silence. I nearly bet that he wasn't gonna come but thank god I didn't, because, to everyone's shock, he stepped out of the room without a word.  
Gaara's sea green eyes met mine and we held our gaze for an awkward moment, and, this time I can bet for sure that we were both remembering our strange moment yesterday.  
How many times have I made eye contact with him and not died? Actually, why the hell am I alive after treating Gaara like he wasn't a spoiled demon container? He hates eye contact, love and slaps to the face.  
Why am I thinking these things? Damn the effect those beautiful eyes have on my mind. And heart.  
I thank the shadows for hiding my blush as I break eye contact and plaster a grin on my face.  
"Wow. This was easier than I thought! Let's go!"

I'm pretty sure that I heard Ryo walk by with Team Kurenai moments earlier, so that leaves Yuuki to work some magic.  
Team Baki and I emerge on the balcony half a minute later and a silence insures when Shino, Kiba and Hinata glance nervously at Gaara. They do a double take when they see Kankuro without war paint. They obviously thought that he was someone else. Akamaru is too busy keeping an eye on Simba, who somehow ended up in Ryo's arms.

Yuuki then skips up to us with three alert looking teens in tow. Hinata visibly flinches when she sees Neji, but he is ignoring her. Well, it's better than trying to kill her, I guess.  
Hey, why are all the ninjas wearing their ninja outfits? Don't they have a change of clothes or something? Or maybe they have the same outfit seventy million times. Wait... they didn't bring luggage into the Tower, right.

"Ready if you guys are!" chants Yuuki.  
Kankuro and I grin at each other and both walk up to the door. I try the knob.  
It's locked.  
I sigh, take a pin out of my pocket and pick the lock. I learned how to do it a couple months ago on the internet. When it clicks open, I get a couple of murmurs of congratulations. Kankuro chuckles and opens the door, then holds it open for me so that I can go in.  
Wow, it still shocks me whenever he acts like such a gentleman. It's hard to let go of that image of him being a tall, freaky looking bully even after sharing a laundry day with him. Well, life's cool like this.  
"Thanks Kankuro-kun."

Once everyone shuffled through the door, the boy cautiously closes it behind him and we walk down a dark corridor until a dead end with a ladder and a trapdoor.  
"This might be incredibly cool, but there is no way that I'm the one opening that!" cries out Yuuki, pointing at trapdoor. Oh my gosh, it _is_ pretty awesome and creepy.  
"I'LL GO! YOSH! FOR YOUTH!" shouts Lee, obviously recovering nicely from his wounds the day before, since he shoots up the ladder and opens up the ceiling for us in a whoosh of rainbow dust.

The 11 genins in the corridor exchange a quick glance before we take turns climbing up.  
Before long, we are all sitting on the huge ass roof of the Tower overlooking the entire forest. I hold my breath at this breathtaking view, even if it is dark. It's kind of chilly though. Oh well, summer's night, right?  
That rhymed.

All us teens sit down. Neji sits next to Tenten, who sits next to Lee, who sits next to Ryo, who sits next to Yuuki, who sits next to Shino, who sits next to Kiba, who sits next to Akamaru, who sits next to Hinata, who sits next to Temari, who sits next to Kankuro, who grins and sits next to me. Simba walks as far away as possible from Akamaru and curls up on my lap.  
I tap the empty spot next to me and Gaara glares at me, but sits down anyway. He sits as far from Neji as he can. The Hyuga is just avoiding eye contact with Hinata.  
Well, this is one awkward looking circle.

"This place is amazing!" mused Tenten. I tilt my head back and everyone mimics me.  
"Wow... You can see the stars so well!" I gasp. I lived my entire life in the city, so this is a sight I don't see very often. The sky looks like black satin and the stars look like sparkly aluminum polka dots. Beautiful.

I smile nostalgically one last time before grabbing my scroll. Actually, I figured out a pretty handy trick: writing the kanji for 'scroll' in lipstick on my leg and sealing the scroll in it. The lipstick becomes kind of like a tattoo then. All I have to do is run my hand above that word and BAM! No blood needed for that summon. Pretty handy, I should say.  
I remove a dozen packs of chips, three huge bottles of Coke and plastic cups from my scroll. This catches everyone's attention.  
"YESSSSS!" shout Kankuro, Kiba, Yuuki, Tenten, punching the air. Everyone else (minus Neji, Gaara and Shino, silent creepos) chuckles at their energy.  
I move Simba from my lap (he starts purring and rubbing himself against Gaara's crossed legs) and serve all the people present something to drink (getting giddy when Gaara nods in thanks, how pathetic of me) and eat then, before long, SOME guys are stuffing their faces like animals cough Kankuro and Kiba cough cough. Quickly, people are starting to chat to the person next to them.

I sit myself back next to Gaara and deliver him from the cat, since he is staring murderously at it, but doesn't seem to have the heart to shove Simba away. Gaara is actually rather adorable deep down. Gosh, I can feel his heat. Of course, I can also feel his brother's heat on my right, since the puppet-nin is sitting pretty close to me, but it's just not the same. Gaara's body heat makes me want to curl up next to him forever. And kiss him. And other stuff.  
Gaara! Can you read my mind? I love you!  
He doesn't blink or do anything to show that he heard my mental shouts.  
Gaara! If you can hear me, sneeze.

Shino sneezes. I stare at him. He stares back. Or, at least, I think he does, since he's still wearing shades, even if it's dark.  
I point two fingers at my eyes, then point them at him. He tilts his head back in shock.  
I've got my eyes on you, Aburame.

I get distracted by my amazing discovery (Shino can read minds!) when someone pokes me in the ribs.  
"Himeko-chan! Where did you get these? They are so good!" Kankuro has now started eating Temari's bag of chips too. I laugh when she whacks him on the head.  
"Most are from the snack shop in Konoha. Chouji-kun showed me the place. He's the guy that's on the same team as the blond girl called Ino and Shikamaru. Yah know, the one making out with your sister on the pics? THE FAKE ONES!" I add hastily when the boy growls. "Jeez, your protective."

He sighs and scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.  
"I'm not! I just like making sure that the people I care about aren't in danger... or being stared at by sick stalkers!" he huffs. Aw. I see Temari smile a little before plastering her signature smirk on her face.  
"Shikamaru-kun isn't a sick stalker! He's super smart and super nice! And look at the bright side: he's way too lazy to make a move on your sister even if he obviously likes her anyway."  
"True. There's no way that guy is laying a hand on my sis! Actually, there's no way that ANY guy is laying a hand on my sis!"

He is cut short when Temari catches him in a choke hold.  
"Who lays a hand on me is none of _your_ business Kankuro!" she cries out. I panic when her brother's face is turning purple.  
"Temari? He kinda needs oxygen. Temari?"  
After a glare from Gaara, the kunoichi lets go of her gasping brother. I pat him on the back.  
"SHIT! Crazy woman!" he grunts, massaging his neck.  
I roll my eyes. How old are they? I've grown out of fighting with my little brother about two years ago. Then again, who am I to talk since I beat the crap out of Ryo today. Oops.

I stare at my cup of coke then an idea illuminates my mental light bulb.  
"GUYS!" Everyone turns to look at me. "Do you guys know how to play 'Never have I ever'? Basically, someone says something that they have never done and if you have already done it, you drink from your glass. It's less embarrassing than having to say 'yes' out loud. The game is originally done with alcohol. But, since we are underage," I glare pointedly at Kankuro. "and since I don't have any booze with me whatever is in your cup will have to do. The point of the game is to learn as many things about the people here as possible. Hopefully as awkward as possible."

* * *

**To be continued in Part 2 of this chapter. It will be coming out as soon as possible, since it's already practically written.  
Another game chapter. People seem to like those. And I love those games you play when you're a teen. Truth or Dare, Never Have I ever, Would You Rather, Nervous Yet and all those.  
Sorry for the long wait! Thanks for reading and review if you want to (I'll give you a truck load of cyber cookies).  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	28. Rooftop Tales: Never Have I Ever

**Part 2 of Rooftop Tales.**

**Still Day 5.**

**HimekoUchia: Thanks so much for the review guys! Here is the second part of the chapter, the game chapter! I don't own anything, duh. Oh, I hope the guys here aren't too OOC.**

**Oh, WARNING: if you are under, like, 11, make sure your eyes don't get burned for reading this chapter. It's T rated, only because there isn't any explicit stuff. Everything teens do and SAY is T rated I guess, since a 'Never have I ever' game with my classmates was exactly like this one, practically word for word, so you can't tell me this isn't Teen.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

"_GUYS!" Everyone turns to look at me. "Do you guys know how to play 'Never have I ever'? Basically, someone says something that they have never done and if you have already done it, you drink from your glass. It's less embarrassing than having to say 'yes' out loud. The game is originally done with alcohol. But, since we are underage," I glare pointedly at Kankuro. "and since I don't any booze with me whatever is in your cup will have to do. The point of the game is to learn as many things about the people here as possible. Hopefully as awkward as possible." _

* * *

I let the rules sink in. Lee stands up.  
"I WANT TO PLAY! I will make a list of all the youthful things that I have never done and if I can't do at least one of those things everyday to help blossom the springtime of my youth, then I will do five hundred pushups instead! Himeko-chan, my youthful flower of a friend, if I refuse to do it, then make sure I do six hundred jump ropes instead!" he calls out.  
Everyone sweat-drops and I give him a weak thumbs up.  
"I... I'll try to remember that." I say weakly, blown away by his energy even at this time of the day.  
"Do you drink coffee at night or something?" asks Kankuro, lifting an eyebrow.  
Before the spandex boy can reply, Neji chimes in.  
"This is pointless." he states. Tenten glares painfully at him and he looks taken aback.  
"Really? I think that it sounds fun and, after many long, stressful days in that forest, a little fun is _exactly_ what I need. I'm in. You're in too, right _Neji_?"  
"Yes."

I grin at the kunoichi, who winks at me. Team Kurenai agrees to play because, like Kiba put it:  
"I wanna know more crazy stuff about you crazy people!" He nudged his teammates until they had agreed to play.

Kankuro and Temari shrug.  
"Why not?" Suna and watching Gaara kill ninja obviously lacks entertainment or something.  
Gaara doesn't react.  
I lean in closer to him. Thump. Thump. Thump. Oh my gosh, he smells... warm. Like a man. With a hint of soap, sand and almonds. Almonds?  
"The more you know about people, the less likely they are to endanger you." I whisper. Simba meows in agreement.  
He moves his eyes so that they meet mine.  
Shut up heart.  
"What does it bring me to divulge information about myself to them?"  
"Don't worry, the stuff that is going to be asked will mostly be private teenager stuff. Nothing battle wise. And sharing stuff about you can make you seem more... interesting? Human like? Awesome? Manly? Take your pick, Gaara-kun."  
"Fine."

Kankuro and Temari nod their approval to me. I nod my approval to myself too. How did I do that?  
"OK! Everyone's in! Who wants to start? Then we can go clockwise."  
Tenten points to the boy beside her.  
"Neji wants to start." she smirks when the Hyuga glares at her. Getting her revenge for his attitude towards her, I see. Neji grumbles but speaks up proudly anyway.

"Never have I ever... broken a bone."  
Lee, Kiba, Yuuki, Hinata, Temari and Kankuro drink from their cups.  
"Hm... I expected more people to drink to that one." I ponder.  
Tenten's turn.  
"Never have I ever... drunk alcohol."  
Neji, Ryo, Yuuki, Kiba, Hinata, Temari, Kankuro, Gaara and I drink.  
Tenten and Lee gasp. Shino tilts his head in shame. Goody two shoes.  
"Huh? When did you guys drink?"

"Family dinner." answers Neji, spitting the words like they were poison.  
"My parents used to let me taste alcohol. It isn't that big of a deal for them, as long as I don't come home wasted or something." shrugs Ryo.  
"Same." says Yuuki.  
"My sister let me drink from her cup." grins Kiba.  
"F-Family dinner." says Hinata.  
"I get a cup of sake sometimes when I go to restaurants with old people." Then again, Temari is older than all of us.  
"Father doesn't lock his booze." smirks Kankuro.  
"Every summer, I used to go live in a vineyard for a month. If you don't drink there, you're being insulting. That, and my mom let me drink from her glass." I shrug.  
"... Kankuro forgot to put the bottle of sake back into Father's liquor cabinet. So I did." Gaara glares at his brother, who starts laughing.  
"Ooooooh so _that's_how Father never found out."

A few people, including me, chuckle at the story, then it's Lee's turn.  
"Never have I ever... done something as UNYOUTHFUL as smoking."  
Yuuki is the only one who drinks. Wow, I guess that being super healthy is important for ninja. Asuma must have missed that part though.  
"YUU-CHAN! How could you?" cries Lee, right into Yuuki's ear. She groans and rubs that side of her head.  
"Sheesh relax. I tried _once_. I kept coughing. Never again. Don't try guys."

"OK, my turn... Hm..." Ryo smirks. "I guess that it's time to corrupt your young ninja virgin minds 'cause we're all teens. At least, most of us are. So it's about time. Never have I ever... Kissed a dude."  
There is a short silence.  
If Sasuke and Naruto were here, they would be putting a cup to their lips right now.  
Tenten (smiling at Neji), Yuuki, Temari and I drink. Kankuro gasps.  
"TEMARI?"  
"Shut up! I'm 15! I can kiss as many guys as I want..." she trails off when Gaara glares at her too. Adorable. She huffs and crosses her arms. "Seriously, you two aren't even my father."

The family brawl has to be interrupted yet again, this time by Yuuki.  
"Never have I ever... made out. Kiss with tongue. Snog. French Kiss. Stuck my tongue down someone's throat. Whatever you guys call it."  
Tenten makes Neji clink cups with her before they both drink. Man, it's almost funny how uncomfortable the Hyuga looks. Then Ryo, Temari, Kankuro and I drink.

Temari and Kankuro exchange a glance that obviously says 'I won't ask if you don't ask', then the puppet-nin nudges me.  
"Hime-chan? You've made out with someone?" Since when does he call me that? Whatever.  
"I'm French. We _invented_ making out." I grin. "So is Ryo-kun, if that helps explain anything. Yuu-chan is too, but she scares off boys."  
My cousin sticks her tongue out at me.  
"Not true. Anyhow, Shino-kun's turn."

Everyone turns to stare at the ever silent bug ninja. He clears his throat and pushes his sunglasses back on his eyes.  
"My turn? Never have I ever... seen a person of the opposite sex naked."  
Ha ha, he's blushing! Shino is so cute. He gets embarrassed over just saying that.

Neji, Tenten and Lee shake their heads.  
Yuuki drinks first. "I used to have three brothers."  
Kiba drinks. "Hana. Sister."  
Hinata blushes and shakes her head furiously.  
Temari drinks. "Kankuro doesn't lock his door when he changes."  
Kankuro drinks. "Temari forgot to lock the door when she took a shower."  
I drink. "Brother."  
Ryo sighs. "Pathetic. At least I'm honest. I've watched dirty stuff." He drinks.

There is a super awkward silence.  
"At least he's honest." Kiba shrugs. "OK, my turn... Never have I ever... been head over heels _in love _with someone."

This time, Neji actually exchanges a smile with Tenten before they both drink. So... He's embarrassed to admit that he made out with her, but 'head of heels in love' is fine? Traditionalist, overly proud Hyuga.  
Lee drinks, beaming from ear to ear.  
"I love Sakura-chan!"  
Ryo sighs and drinks but Yuuki doesn't. To my surprise, Shino drinks. When he meets my dumbfounded gaze, he frowns.  
"It was a long time ago."  
I nod, still kinda shocked. Then I drink too, of course. I kinda figured out that I love Gaara inside-out and unconditionally quite some time ago.  
Kankuro seems to hesitate for a second, but he puts his cup back down without touching it.  
I've got to admit, I was a little disappointed when Gaara didn't drink, but it's not like I expected him to anyway. He's Gaara after all. He just looks super out of place, borderline murderous.  
Hinata mumbles something so quietly that I only pick up '-ruto'. Then she drinks. Kiba rolls his eyes. Pft, he looks just a little jealous.

"Sheesh, Hinata-chan. If you like him so much, just _tell him_ already. Don't look at me like that, it's so obvious you like Naruto. Everyone in the _world_ knows... except for Naruto himself."  
The dark haired girl tilts her head down, blushing.  
"N-No... I-I c-can't..." She stutters even more when she is talking about Naruto, especially since everyone here, including Neji, is staring at her. I try think of a way to distract them, since I can't help but feel her pain. I wouldn't want people talking about how much I obviously loved Gaara (without him realizing) in front of everyone and I sure as hell don't want them telling me that I should tell him. I want to tell him, oh I do. But I might as well grow wings and live in a coop, 'cause I'm a chicken.

I sigh. Shit, Yuuki is staring at me now.  
"Hinata-chan... Seriously, trust me, Naruto is so dense, it will literally take him years to figure out you like him. If you want any chance at all, you've gotta start flirting or something. He doesn't know anything unless it hits him in the face. If you want some flirting tips, ask Tenten-san, since she has a boyfriend. Or even Himeko-chan, since she seems to do that a _lot _nowadays."

Man, Yuuki just loves embarrassing me. Can't pick family. When everyone turns their heads toward me, I can't help the redness from settling on my face. On the bright side, I saved Hinata from any more unwanted attention.  
"If you can't admit your feelings directly, which is totally understandable in some situations, then just try... um... subtle hints? Or obvious hints? Judging by how slow ninja boys are, it would probably take more than one thing hitting him in the face to figure out. That's my advice, I guess."  
I am met by a few 'heys' from the said ninja boys.  
I bite my lip, suddenly realizing what I said was a give away that I loved Gaara. Hitting in the face more than once... Shoot, even a moron could figure that one out...  
Aaaaaaaand said moron is still looking at me with the same random expression as everyone else.

I can't help exhaling in relief and frustration combined. I want him to know, but I don't want him to know at the same time. At some moments, life does suck.  
"Hm... I wonder who Himeko-chan is 'head over heels in love' with? He's not too far, judging by her blush and the fact that I can hear her heart beat from here."  
"Yuuki, I think they got the point." I growl. She is enjoying herself way too much.

Hinata probably decided to help me out by returning the favor of distraction and I am thankful.  
"H-Hey! N-Never have I ever... Um... K-Kicked a b-boy b-b-b-be-between h-his..." She doesn't manage to finish her sentence, but we got it anyway, since most of us are staring flabbergast at her, half empty packs of chips abandoned on the roof. Especially Neji, who's eyebrows are so scrunched up he might need surgery to flatten his forehead out. Must be the first time he hears her say something that isn't 100% polite and he is probably recalculating some of the things he thought about her destiny.

The silence is filled with turtles and no one makes a move to pick up their cups. Am I really the only one? I sigh and drink.  
"Don't worry boys, I don't go around kicking family jewels on a daily basis. That asshole was the first and hopefully last ."  
Ryo lifts an eyebrow, shifting his front away from me.  
"Oh yeah? Who was it?"  
"Kabuto? That dude from Suna called Masago? Duh?" I reply.

Temari taps me on the shoulder.  
"You know Masago? He's such a jerk. I hope he doesn't make it out of the Forest of Death alive. How do you know him and why did you... kick him?"  
I shrug, combing my fingers through my hair.  
"He hit on me. And kept threatening me. And didn't shut his trap about Gaara-kun until we made them pass out. So, yeah, he might lose his tadpoles. Boohoo."  
This cruel world must be rubbing off on me. The kunoichi smirks.  
"This evil side of you I didn't see coming, Himeko-chan. I like it." We high five. Wow, Temari really doesn't like Masago either. Must have hit on her too.

The kunoichi keeps on grinning as she speaks.  
"Hm... My turn? Never have I ever..." She pauses, thinking. She glances at Ryo and seems to get an idea from his turn. "Um... What _haven't_ I done? Never have I ever kissed a girl."  
Neji drinks right away. No point hiding it now.  
Kankuro and Ryo drink as well whilst Kiba, Lee and Shino stare glumly at their feet.  
Gaara doesn't drink either (happy face for me) but isn't staring at his feet. He's staring at me instead, 'cause I just drank.

I shrug. Oh, great, more people are looking at me as if I have three eyes or something, even Simba. While everyone is too distracted, Yuuki takes a sit out of her cup, smirking at me since she doesn't have a bunch of peeps trying to freak her out with the white of their eyes. Lucky for her, _I'm_ actually a nice person who doesn't bring unwanted attention to their cousins. Ryo and Shino are the only ones who notice the whole thing, since they are sitting next to her.  
"One of the times it was an accident. The other times weren't. Just randoms moments and dares. Never heard of a girl kissing another before? SHEESH! Quit staring at me like that!"  
"Wait... I thought you liked... Are you...?" Kankuro trails off.  
"Um, no? I mean, let's face it. We girls are just as hot as you guys and are much nicer and respectful, but for some reason I can't imagine _not _liking boys. Plus, the person I'm currently head over heels in love with is a boy. Guy. Dude. Y chromosome. Male. So, please, Kankuro-kun, it's your turn."

I actually get kind of scared when he rubs his hands together with an evil grin. This guy is definitely Gaara's brother.  
"Learn something about the people here, hopefully awkward, ay? Hm... Dunno if you would call this that but whatever... Never have I ever... Put a finger inside of a girl, if you know what I mean."  
A few people groan, including me. Gosh, Kankuro really is a perv. How can he ask this, when some of us, like Hinata, are still only twelve? I'm not dumb though, I know that this question is directed to us girls, not to the boys (psh, some of them haven't even kissed a girl before).  
Suddenly, Temari chuckles and takes a sip of coke.  
"Tampon." She sticks her tongue out at her brother, who makes a face.

Temari, you are one smart-ass girl.  
"Tampon." I say as well, drinking.  
"Tampon!" say Tenten and Yuuki at the same time, giggling at the horrified looks most of the guys are shooting us. Oh sure, they act all cool most of the time but when _periods_ are mentioned, they suddenly go all shady.  
Hinata blushes and drinks as well, not able to say anything. Well, looks like we are all women here. Temari and Tenten are older, so that is understandable, but Hinata is practically a year younger. Then again, she is pretty curvy, so that could be an indication that she is now able to have a baby.

The funny part in all of this is that Kankuro got screw over with his turn. Nobody can upstage girls.  
But there is no way out of my question for boys. After what Kankuro said, I'm not gonna bother keeping my mouth ladylike. Revenge is too sweet.  
"Never have I ever jacked off."  
Silence.

I guess Ryo is the guy hero here tonight.  
"Who hasn't at our age?" He drinks.  
After a moment of thought, Kankuro shrugs and drinks, avoiding eye contact with his siblings. Temari is staring in the other direction, obviously not wanting to know at all.  
"I'm a man after all." he adds.  
So my teammate and guy friend from Suna are the most confident here. I laugh silently in my head. This was just to get the latter, so I feel a little guilty for the other younger dudes here but, honestly, after going through an entire game of 'Never have I ever', it's hard to feel too bad.

The next guy who gives in and drinks is Neji, probably deciding to push his pride aside for one night. Then Kiba. Then Lee. I guess that Kankuro's remark meant a lot to them.  
The next person who drinks is... Gaara. Last but not least, Shino drinks too.  
My cheeks get dusted in pink and I don't really know what to think. Well, I guess that Gaara is a thirteen year old boy and, as Ryo said, it's only natural at their age. Actually, I would be kind of worried if none of them have done that. Plus, Gaara has received 'the talk' from Shukaku, so who knows what that demon has suggested he do. As long as he doesn't make Gaara go around making out with other girls, I'm fine with it.

Damn... he isn't even my boyfriend! Why am I so possessive? Screw that, a girl touches Gaara and I will go bitch-fury on her. Wait... What if a _boy _touches him? Well, I will hurt him too, unless Gaara likes him. Actually, as long as he's happy, I'll be happy. I just hope that I will never have to sit back and watch him be with someone else though. Gosh, love is confusing.  
One thing I know for sure: Gaara has just gotten sexier.

"What?" Gaara's rough voice snaps me out of my weird trance.  
"Huh? Oh... Nothing. Sorry for staring, I was thinking of... um... how it's now your turn." I quickly say, once again thanking my ability to make up excuses on spot. There is no way I'm telling Gaara that I was thinking about beating up his future girlfriends if they weren't me. Aw man, I feel terrible now.

Everyone gets over the craziness of my turn then turn to Gaara to know what he wants to know about them. You never know what's gonna come out of someone's mouth until it does. That lesson was learned with Hinata.  
"Never have I ever... had a... dirty dream."  
Well duh, since he can't even dream. Smart move there, redhead.  
Weirdly enough, only Kankuro, Ryo, Neji, Kiba, Temari and I drink. Yuuki, Shino and Lee don't drink. Then again, all Lee dreams about is probably Gai-sensei, waterfalls and rainbows. I can bet that Shino dreams about bugs. I don't want to know the stuff Yuuki dreams about that made her the way she is.

Yuuki bursts out laughing.  
"Interesting! So recap! Neji-kun, Tenten-san, Temari-san, Kankuro-kun, Ryo-kun and Himeko-chan have already made out. I have kissed but never made out. However, Lee-kun, Shino-kun, Kiba-kun, Hinata-chan and Gaara-kun are the only ones who have never even kissed anyone, girl or boy? That's sad, especially for you, Lee-kun! You're a year older than us!" She laughs even more when I glare, then smirk.  
"Yuu-chan! There is nothing wrong with not having your first kiss yet! We aren't forty five or anything. It's cool to keep your first for someone you actually like. Even if kissing during dares feels really similar than kissing someone you like, nothing can compare to being with the person you love. You know... Fireworks and all that. Oh, and if anyone says that kissing feels just like touching your lips with the back of your hand, smash them in the face, 'cause that's bullshit. Lips are soooo much softer and warmer than that. And it actually leaves a tingly after feeling." I sigh and stuff a chip into my mouth. Hmmm... Love barbeque flavor.  
Lee and Hinata had been leaning forward in interest at what I said, whilst Shino and Kiba just tried to look as if everything was cool with them, but they were obviously listening.

Poor Gaara, though. He's looking at me, but when he meets my gaze, he looks away.  
Woah, Gaara actually looked away first. Is he OK? Then again, this must be strange for him, being practically dragged (guilty as charged) into a teen game again even if he hates socializing. Actually, why did he accept to come anyway? It's not like we forced him at gunpoint. Kunaipoint. Whatever.

Tenten yawns and this catches Neji's attention.  
"We should leave. Tenten hasn't slept well last night." He urges, obviously not wanting to spend another second with us ruining his Hyuga pride, especially in front of Hinata.

"True. There is no more junk food left anyway." I admit this with pain in my heart, because, honestly, I really love chips. "It's kinda late too. Does anyone have any 'Never have I ever' question they really want to ask, though?"  
Shino puts his hand up.  
"Never have I ever eaten a bug." He immediately starts glaring murderously around the circle to catch someone who has ever ingested one of his friends.  
Nobody drinks. Wait...  
Kiba slowly puts the cup to his lips, but starts laughing and puts it back down without touching it.  
"Duuuuude Shino! Relax, I was just kidding." He chuckles. He doesn't notice the way his teammates hands slowly start twitching towards his neck. Uh oh.

Hinata hastily pulls Kiba out of Shino's reach. The dog-nin realizes what is going on and laughs out loud again, but this time has the sense to get on his feet and run away from Shino. Before long, Team Kureni disappears down the ladder with a last wave from Hinata.  
Slowly, the others leave until only the Sandsibs and my friends are left.  
Kankuro and Temari stand up.  
"Tomorrow is the exam, so a good night of sleep is probably a great idea. See you guys around... hopefully. Tonight was... interesting." Kankuro grins at me.

Temari turns towards Gaara.  
"We're going to go to bed and lock the door. Do you have a key?"  
The redhead nods and crosses his arms.  
"OK. Try not to wander around the Tower too much or you'll catch a cold." Gaara glares at his sister. "Just because you never got one doesn't mean you never will."

The kunoichi shakes her head in frustration at her youngest brother's stubbornness before pulling Kankuro after her.  
I watched the whole scene and when I turn around, I realized that Yuuki, Ryo and Simba had sneakily ditched me so that I was alone with Gaara. I hate and love them at the same time now.

"It's funny how you all used to be just manga characters to me, but I now realize that you are all actual boys and girls. It's weird." I mutter to myself, not really loud enough for anyone to understand what I was saying.  
Gaara turns his head towards me and I shrug, not wanting to reveal anything that I'll regret. Like how, back home, they aren't real. They are all pretty darn real to me now.

"Do you really not sleep at all, Gaara-kun?" I ask him.  
He gives me a long look with those ever-mysterious sea green eyes.  
"I do, but only for less than twenty minutes at a time for if I succumb to deep sleep, I would succumb to the eternal blood lust of the demon within me. He wants nothing more than to get out and feed off the chakra in everyone's blood to make _us_ stronger."  
I suddenly realize that that may be why he hasn't had killer urges around me. Shukaku can't sense any chakra in me, because I don't have any. Shoot, I kinda liked the idea that he treated me extra special. Darn being in love.

"Makes sense, I guess." I nod. When a cold gust of wind blows, I shiver and instinctively lean closer to the boy and his awesome body heat. There is actually a nice silence where I my arm is almost touching his, but he doesn't even move away. He leaves his arms by his side, looking straight on at the forest surrounding us. "Urg... Gaara-kun, how can you be so _hot_? Seriously, you are warmer than a person with fever."  
He looked shocked, then that look turns uncomfortable. Oops, it just hit me.  
I grin and tilt my head to the side. Gosh, I love simply being able to sit next to this boy. It's easy to get me happy sometimes.  
"I meant it both ways, if you were wondering."

I look up at the stars are realize how cheesy romantic this is. The last time I was alone with him, I nearly told him I loved him. I feel dumb for thinking about saying that at such a bad time, chunin exams and all. But when will another chance come? I most certainly will confess one day, since I'm not just liking Gaara for the heck of it. I really want to be with him. I just can't seem to imagine any of it.  
Then, before I can tell my mouth to shut up, it decides to speak.  
"Gaara-kun? You know how you kill people to validate your existence? And how you only love yourself, no one else, so that you can make up for the fact that nobody wanted to show you any affection growing up?"  
He turns his face towards mine and my breath hitches. So. Damn. Close. My heart is going to DIE here.  
"I'm aware of that, Himeko-chan. The wound in my heart was painful and without... love it could never be healed. Nobody loves me, so I love only myself, mother and the pain subsided." He says in his deep voice. I stare at his lips the whole time. Man, they look kissable. It's almost excruciating to not just lean a little forward...

I blink and take a deep breath, trying to get a hold on myself. Bad idea. The air around me smells like Gaara. And almonds. He must have used Temari's shampoo by accident or something.  
"Um... Did the pain ever... completely disappear? Is loving yourself without receiving any other love enough? Honestly?" I say in an almost whisper. His beautiful yet cold, dark eyes don't leave me.  
"The pain is still there. But I can't count on anyone else to make it any better, so I do it myself. And the blood feeds me, makes me stronger, so that no one can erase my existence. I'm the only one who cares, so I have to keep myself alive and get rid of anyone standing in my way."

I gulp and look down at my hands that are nervously twisting together.  
"You're not the only one who cares about your existence, you know. Your siblings really do care. Baki-sensei does care. I care. A lot. A moment ago, sitting in that circle with all those people whom I care about... It wouldn't have been the same if you weren't there." I sigh in frustration. The sound of the blood ringing in my ears is kind of distracting me. "Gaara-kun... What I mean to say is... Whether you exist or not makes a really, really, _really _big difference to me. I... I value you. The fact that you're alive is one of the most important things in my life."

I look back at Gaara, expecting him to whack out. My biggest fear is that he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say. He probably doesn't since I know him pretty well. But I'll tell him as many time as it takes for him to understand that I love him, all in good time. I just can't seem to say those three words out loud. Thank god. I'm freaking out here.  
His face remains rather blank, but since he is listening to every word that I'm saying, he must be thinking of something to say back. When he leans a little closer to me, my heart skips a beat.

"Why are you telling me this?"  
I smile.  
"Because... I believe that two things make a heart strong: receiving love and giving love. For some people, one is easier to do than the other but if you manage to do both... Bam. Your wounds of the heart will disappear. Plus, nothing makes a person stronger than the urge to protect the ones they love. It's our human instinct. Heck, even animals go on psycho killing sprees to protect their babies and stuff."  
I'm glad to see that he is taking this in. I doubt he is going to take any of this into consideration when killing someone, though.  
"Himeko-chan." He leans even closer. My chest is starting to feel kinda painful and my stomach is doing flips. Loving someone so much can hurt too, but it feels nice in some ways. "How could you worry about my heart when your one is about to explode?"

I zap back into reality and cover the left side of my chest with my hand in shock.  
"Huh?" I gasp.  
"I can hear it. Why is it beating so loud? It was doing that sometimes during the game. Even Yuuki-san could hear it. Are you going to have a heart attack?" He asks curiously.  
I chuckle to hide the fact that I'm so embarrassed that I could melt. Like, right now.  
"No, my heart is fine. It's just... Damn, hearts are annoying sometimes. They make you do dumb things, like confess even if the person you love has no clue what you're actually talking about."

He raises an invisible eyebrow.  
"That sounds... unfortunate." he mumbles.  
"Yeah... Tell me about it." I sigh, putting my face in my hands to hide my expression that is a mix between 'I will punch you, you stupid idiot', 'Why me?' and 'Hah this is kind of funny'. "Well, I'm off to bed. Good night Gaara-kun. See you in the morning."  
I smile at him whilst getting up then, waving over my shoulder, I start climbing down the ladder.  
"Good night..."

I beam happily to myself before doing one last, spontaneous thing.  
"Oh, Gaara-kun? Are really that clueless?"  
I duck into the darkness and jump down the rest of the ladder steps. I groan. I almost told him I loved him again.  
"Damn... I knew Gaara was dense and all but _seriously_... He must be even more messed up than I thought. This is becoming a caricaturisation of a dumb boy. Love him to bits anyway." I whisper to myself, grinning.

I walk down the dark corridor alone before emerging on the balcony moments later. I take one last breath of fresh forest air before turning to the exit.  
I suddenly get a terrifying chill but, before I can register anything, my mind blanks in fear as someone slams me into a wall, putting one hand on either side of my head so that I can't escape.

"You... You punched me in the forest. While running. That pissed me off, bitch. Did you really think you could get away with it so easily?" seethes a furious voice.

Once I register everything, I discreetly cover my body with a shield, waiting for the moonlight to shine in the person's face so that I can see who the hell this psycho is.  
When it does, I see the boy with a huge, purple mark across his face where I hit him and practically forgot all about it.  
Zaku and his team are back.  
One thought is really prominent in my mind: I didn't know Zaku swore.

* * *

**Second part, but it's as longer than a full chapter. Thanks everyone! Even if I updated so late, I hope this makes up for it! You guys are seriously the best readers ever, sticking with me even if I have lousy concentration skills.  
I love being on holidays. I get to swim, shop, skip around in public places with music in my ears, feed my leftovers to random cats and catch the spiders in my bed.  
I don't know when the next time I will be updating is, but it'll come, people. Do not worry yourselves over that.  
Enjoy life!  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (Gah! I can't wait for the next chapter of Naruto! Gaara vs. his father! I WILL put that creep into my story, I've got it all figured out. Just got to get to that point in the story)**


	29. I'm Not In Love With THAT Guy

**Day 5 going on Day 6 in the Tower.**

**HimekoUchia: Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews! I really apologize for taking so long to update. I had a pretty hard time starting my new school year, so much homework and exams already... I actually wrote this chapter, but it sucked so I rewrote it. I'll just move onto the chapter now. Sorry guys. Thanks for sticking with me.**  
**I don't own Naruto! Just my OCs, story and dreams...  
**  
**Gaara and his father manga chapters :3 Even if 6 years old is kinda early to start testing your son's mental stability, it makes sense now, I mean, how can someone like GAARA be unloved? I love him. Who's with me?**  
**Gah, in the most recent chapter, I thought that he might get blown up for a second. I started screaming 'DON'T DIE DON'T DIE' at my computer. Phew, he's OK. And damn, he's hot with the scratches all over his face.**

* * *

Last Chapter:

_"You... You punched me in the forest. While running. That pissed me off, bitch. Did you really think you could get away with it so easily?" seethes a furious voice._

_Once I register everything, I discreetly cover my body with a shield, waiting for the moonlight to shine in the person's face so that I can see who the hell this psycho is._  
_When it does, I see the boy with a huge, purple mark across his face where I hit him and practically forgot all about it._  
_Zaku and his team are back._  
_One thought is really prominent in my mind: I didn't know Zaku swore._

* * *

"Hi. Must suck to be punched twice in the face by the same team. Funny, Ryo-kun's punch's didn't leave such a mark as purple as this one, especially after so many days. Did I really hit that hard?" I ask, staring awestruck at the boy's cheek. I think that I tend to get too violent. Not good. Punching people, kicking nuts and slapping Gaara and all that.

Zaku snorts and points at himself.  
"Do you think I slammed my own face into doorknob or something? No... This was all your fault." He brings his hands closer to my head and even with the shield I feel slightly panicked. I don't want to have to psychically knock him out, since he actually is important and having him know what I am capable of doing is a disadvantage for me. The element of surprise should be used as a life or death escape only.

Something ticks in my head.  
"Hey..." I poke his arm. "Wasn't this supposed to be broken?"  
Zaku's eyes widen and look extremely panicked.  
"How do you know that?" he gasps, but instead of backing off and giving me a chance to escape, he decides to bring a kunai right in front of my face. OK, this is bad. My shield is quite thin, practically molded to my body but also pretty elastic, which is why it works great when people a meter in front of me throw a punch. The fist sinks into the shield to absorb the impact and doesn't cause me harm, since the energy making the armor cannot be torn or busted (unless I lose focus). I have never yet been in this situation before. I hope, starting to shiver, that the shield is as invincible as I imagined.

"One of the teams that have seen Sasuke-kun dislocate your arm are back already and told me about it. Personally, I think that you are overacting about this... I won't te-..." The rest of my reply dies pathetically when the moon reflects of the blade of the knife.  
Sharp.  
Very sharp and scary.

I look right at the boy with a calm expression, knowing that showing fear only encourages attackers. I have read enough stories to know that they love it when you scream.  
Of course, on the inside, I'm pretty much pissing myself in fear.  
Zaku smiles. In a creepy way.  
"Well then... I will just have to make sure that my little secret stays between me and you..."

Then he stabs my throat.

Holy effing shit. This is the second time this dude tried to kill me. I drop an empty fizzy drink bottle in alarm.  
The reality of the ninja world is really starting to sink into my over-used noggin. People are mean.

As I predicted, the kunai doesn't cut through my shield. It bounces back against it instead.  
But to bounce, you have to sink into the trampoline first and that shield was plastered to my neck.  
Which is why I am still alive, but I probably have a nasty bruise brewing below by jaw.  
I'm not gonna die. My mind keeps telling me that it's impossible. _I _can't die right? What a childish thought, but I can't help it.

Taking advantage of his moment of confusion, I disable my shield and push blankness into his mind (I have not yet reached the point where I could do both at the same time. It requires too much attention which I currently don't have). Screw keeping my abilities safe. This is some serious crap right now.

Zaku stumbles and falls on his back, eyes blank.

To make this situation even better I hear footsteps coming down the dark corridor that leads to the roof.  
Shoot. I can't just run away now and leave Zaku here. Gaara might kill him because, well, Gaara is Gaara. I don't even want to think about that right now.  
I can't believe I even care for this Otogakure punk even after what he tried to do to me. But he is still a idiotic, manipulated human being and I'm not cold in the face of even possible death like a real shinobi.  
After two more seconds of hesitation, I link my arm into Zaku's and shut my eyes in desperate concentration.  
Keep the boy's mind blank. Think. Dormitory corridor.

When I open my eyes, I'm in front of my team and my room door. Thank goodness for teleportation.  
I have no idea which room is Zaku's though. Shoot, I left the empty plastic bottle on the balcony. Gaara will know that I was there anyway, 'cause I'm pretty sure that I saw a sand eyeball floating in my peripheral vision.

I lay the ninja down on the floor and look at him.  
Poor guy, if he had gotten more hugs when he was young, he probably wouldn't have to be working under Orochimaru.  
I try to think about what I should do. I get an idea.  
"Kin-san!" I shout into the corridor. Once one of the doors start to open, I teleport myself back to where I was ten seconds ago, releasing Zaku from the mind blankness instead of letting it wear off like I did to Masago.

I finally relax and open my eyes. I'm face to face with Gaara, who tenses up when I pop out of nowhere.  
My mind turns into rainbow mush for a moment, as both of us remain completely still in shock. Huh, he's shorter than me. Never really noticed.  
When he blinks, I snap out of my daze and take a step backwards.  
Looks like it's my lucky night, because the empty plastic bottle was right behind my left foot.  
I squeak and gasp at the same time as I slip to the floor. Onto my butt.

After a long minute of chilly silence, I peek up through all of curly red hair in front of my face.  
Yup, Gaara is still looking down at me as if I was a clumsy freak and he's obviously waiting for an explanation to my suspicious reaction. I feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment for doing something so stupid in front of him.  
_Smooth, Himeko, smooth. _Says the voice in my head. Awesome...  
Shut up! I yell back.  
_How hu-mi-li-a-ting!_  
Of great, now I'm arguing with myself too.

I sigh and give up, laying down on my back under my crush's blank yet confused gaze.  
"Give me a breeeeaaaakkk..." I groan and close my eyes for the x time this evening.  
This is not the most comfortable place to take a nap, but I just want all of this to be one of those terribly cringe worthy nightmares...  
Yeah... no. I'm wearing short sleeves, it's pretty much freezing up here and I can pretty much picture those fat, bloodthirsty mosquitoes that come out during the summer to penetrate my arms, face and soles of my feet...

I lift an eyelid. The male redhead here doesn't even look mad. Weird, I would have expected him to go apeshit on me for ignoring him.  
"Oh... Hey Gaara-kun, you're still here?" I ask monotonously.  
His gaze turns into a glare to indicate that he isn't in a mood to kid around. When is he ever? Neither am I at this moment anyway.  
"Sorry. I've just had a crazy past three minutes. Saving a life and all." I mutter loud enough for him to hear me.

He takes a step towards me. OK, my heart is starting to beat a little faster there and I am suddenly starting to feel uncomfortably warm, with him standing over me like that. Damn his masculine presence.  
"Saving others is pointless. He wouldn't have done the same for you." he growls, since this is obviously one of his touchier topics.  
"I know. I did it anyway. Trust me, his life is kind of important, at least until tomorrow." I reply, starting to count the planks in the ceiling.  
"You're stupid."  
"This time I agree."

He look taken aback by my response. Was he expecting me to slap him into next week again for calling me that? Man, does he really think of me as a psychotic, evil bitch? I hope not.  
"You're too kind to people." he huffs.  
OK, this time it's my turn to be surprised. This is the first time he says anything remotely close to a compliment, even if he probably hadn't meant it to be one.  
"I'll pretend you said that nicely... But yeah, I do tend to get sappy, emotional and kindhearted. Sorry for being a young human girl."

There is a silent moment, then he talks again.  
"Are you going to sleep here?" he motions around, meaning the balcony.  
"Maybe. Why, do you stay here all night?" I ask, continuing to count planks.  
"The temperature is too inconvenient..."  
Then once again there was a silence. I know that he knows that I knows that we're both side stepping the real thing we want to talk about. I mean, ten minutes ago, I was practically pouring my heart out at him but he didn't get it. I had to give him an obvious hint.  
My nerves start to set in, especially when he starts talking.

"You were talking about the boy you... had feelings for and how he didn't realize..." Oh boy. Oh boy. "That boy was that Oto shinobi, wasn't it?"  
Epic facepalm. I sit up and give Gaara my best withering look. Ouch, my neck is starting to ache a little. It could be much worse.  
"What the hell makes you think that?" I deadpan, really wanting him to humor me right now. His next words didn't disappoint.  
"It's obvious. You protected him even when he tried to erase your existence."

I snort and get up, banging me head on a laundry railing. I groan when the metallic ring echoes in my brain.  
"Fu-... Ouch. I would protect you from others if you tried to erase my existence too, you know. I would do the same for Yuu-chan and Ryo-kun. I sometimes to things for people without expecting anything back. Why does this bother you anyway?" I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow.  
Gaara suddenly looks furious at me. I unconsciously take a step back when he takes a step forward. I don't want him to look at me like that.  
"Your devotion and love for that Oto-nin _sickens_ me. You are truly weak and stupid if you are willing to protect him out of love. Love is pointless, no matter what you say. To survive, you have to prove your strength. You are doing the exact opposite. And for _that _guy too. He wants to kill you even more than I want to."

I just have to massage my head for that one. I think I'm going to get a brain tumor just for hearing those words.  
"In ten years, I really hope that we can look back and laugh at this moment." I pick up the empty plastic bottle and start walking.  
"G'night again, Gaara-kun. My teammates probably think that I have been stabbed and tossed off of the balcony. By the way, I DON'T love Abumi-san. How could you even think that? The sheer idea of it sickens_ me _too. I protected him because I don't want trouble with his sensei and because we sort of need him for the preliminaries tomorrow."

When I walk past him, I have a sudden urge to rip his hair out in frustration. I just really want a month to pass so that I can tell him that I love him. Doing it before would just be emotional suicide. I can't imagine how he would hate it if I told him how I really felt, especially after his rant on love. Again.

I'm still walking down the stairs to the dorms when I realize that he's following me.  
"Are you going back to your room?" I ask quietly, starting to get super exhausted.  
"No. I'm hungry." he says, not looking directly at me. Boys are weird.

I give him a last wave (that he pretends not to notice) before entering my room.

It seems that every time I return to this place, another unexplainable strangeness awaits me.  
This time is probably the winning sight.  
"What the heck are you three doing?" I gasp. "What is this? An orgy?"  
Ryo chuckles and sits up on the bed. Yes, _the _bed. Seems as if my friends have decided to do some redecorating while I was gone. They pushed our three beds together to make one big one and Yuuki, Ryo and Simba were stretched over it.

"Since it's the last night, we thought that it might be a good idea. I'm personally terrified about tomorrow, so I wouldn't mind a little safety tonight. Are you OK with this?" chimes in Yuuki, rolling over the mattress and grinning at me.  
"Ryo-kun is a pervert. And I don't know about Simba, but he's a male too." I pick up my pajamas and go into the bathroom, change, brush my teeth and re-emerge.

Oh gosh. It got worse.  
They made a space for me in the bed. Right in the middle.  
"No way. I hate not having space when I sleep, you know that."  
"Please!" pleads Yuuki.  
"Come on!" begs Ryo.  
"MIAAAAOOOWWW" screeches Simba.

I sigh.  
"It's three against one, so I guess that I'll live for one night." I flop onto the bed. "I'm not sleeping in the middle."  
So Ryo sleeps on the other edge, Yuuki next to him, then Simba and I.  
"Hell nah!" I huff, glare at the guy on my team and place the cat between him and my cousin. "Don't get me wrong, I trust you, man. But only to some extent and she's my cousin."

He rolls his eyes at me.  
"Goodnight to you too, Hime-chan. Everyone."  
The lights are switched off and all three of us fall into deep, unperturbed sleep.  
As if.

* * *

"Oh my god! I was late to the preliminary exams and while running, it was in slow motion! When I made it there, I was still in pajamas! And not those nice ones! The embarrassing ones with teddy bears on them..." I groan and start stretching. In these two weeks of being in this world, I'm happy to notice that I've gotten a little fitter. But last night's chips aren't doing wonders on my thigh muscles though.  
"Well, at least it isn't as weird as the Lee and Gai dinosaur dream..." snorts Yuuki. "It seems like you start off everyday with a retell of your crazy stories. Since you are the only person who remembers their own dreams so often."

"..." Ryo glares at Simba. "This little bastard wouldn't stop kicking me the whole night. I don't know what he dreamed about, but it involved him clawing my arm raw."  
The cat gives him a sheepish look and stretches its little kitty bum in his face.  
"Efffff Yooooooouuuu!" hollers my teammates, rolling off of the bed and into the floor. "... Ow."

After a good round of psychotic laughter, we all get dressed.  
"Actually... At what time does the third part of the chuunin exams start?" asks Yuuki.  
Ryo and I exchange a glance and both shrug.  
"I guess that we'll find out sooner or later. At least there is time to digest breakfast, that's for sure." he grins.

Fake smiles. Real laughs. To start off a hell of a stressful day.

* * *

**OK, this was short because I had to cut it in half again or I would still be writing this for days. The next half will be out in a maximum of 2 days, promise. As soon as I finish, it's going up. But I am seriously going to pass out of exhaustion right now. Hate antibiotics.  
Review if you want to. I'm not going to force you since I updated so late, but it will be appreciated.  
Gah, such a busy month! And next month won't be any better, I've got a three week trip. One week for school, the other week for holiday. So I'll hopefully write during those two weeks.  
Peace, love and HUGS (foreshadowing),  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia ( yes, you may throw rotten tomatoes at me for my late update.)**


	30. Hugs: Normal, Group, Squishy and Awkward

**Day 6. Final Day.**

**HimekoUchia: Chapter thirty. Legendary day people!**  
**Yuuki: It's finally the day! Back to the actual story instead of the 'Hanging out for five days and not-really-making-love-confessions and doing absolutely random shit like brushing my teeth and taking baths' arc. After over a year... I'm so happy I could cry! You sure like dragging things out.**  
**Ryo: It's because she likes writing every second of every single friggin' day. I'm just glad we finally got to this.**  
**HimekoUchia: Thank you guys to much! I hit over 300 reviews! I love you! Join the Battle Plan group hug will yah? I do not own Naruto blah lalala. Just my OCs and stories. And random scenes I inserted from my daily life, like the rice part.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_"Actually... At what time does the third part of the chuunin exams start?" asks Yuuki._  
_Ryo and I exchange a glance and both shrug._  
_"I guess that we'll find out sooner or later. At least there is time to digest breakfast, that's for sure." he grins._

_Fake smiles. Real laughs. To start off a hell of a stressful day._

* * *

"I'm so scared about the exams guys." suddenly gasps Yuuki.  
"I'm about to piss myself in stress here." huffs Ryo.  
"I'm hungwwwwyyyyyyyyyyy..." I moan smacking the rice cooker with a big spoon. "Screw that! Imma eat the rice raw!"

I open up the machine and shovel some rice into my mouth. I start making a gagging fish face.  
"It's still hot, isn't it?" grins my male teammate.  
I nod and breath heavily, hoping that it helps cool down the food. It does and I start chewing.  
"Mh. Mhm. Hm. Interesting. It's... chewy. And hard. Crunchy. And soggy. Interesting..."  
"It's gross."  
"No duh." I make a face as I swallow. "Maybe ten more minutes won't hurt." I turn the rice cooker back on.

At least this got their minds off the exams. What's the point of getting so worked up over it? Stressing will just make you stress more until you...  
"... EXPLODE LIKE POPCORN!" I holler randomly.  
Yuuki and Ryo are so used to this by now that they don't even flinch.  
Kin Tsuchi does.

She frowns and glares at me.  
"Can you sew that loud, useless trap of yours shut?" she hisses, storming across the room and opening the fridge.  
I pretend to zip my mouth shut and throw away the key. Nah, not working.  
"Are you pissed because yesterday was your birthday and instead of being happy you got betrayed by your own teammates who tried to kill you to kill Ino who was in your body?" I gasp for air.  
The Oto girl gets up and bangs her head on the fridge.

"How do you know about that?" she slams the fridge door shut and gives me a killer glare.  
"Which part? Psychic powers and the fact that one of the teams that fought against you are here already." I sigh, feeling a little guilty for being blunt, but hey, she's was a bitch to me. Maybe I _should_ shut my mouth.

"I'm not pissed about anything." huffs Kin, crossing her arms. "It is normal to put success of the mission in front of comrades' lives."  
"It's the other way around. What's the point of trying to kill your teammate for your village when they are the people you are working to protect? It's a waste of life. Each one of the people you kill could have had a future. Kids. Grankids. Now they never will."  
The long haired girl actually laughed.  
"If I didn't know better, I would think that you were from Konoha. They're the ones who have that pathetic, ridiculous value for friendship, life and off-springs." she said those words like I would 'murder, rape and sexism'.

"Well, if you really believe that then fine." I shrug. "But it doesn't change the fact that yesterday was your birthday! Do you want chocolate? I think there are a couple packets of that left... Everyone who tasted them so far loved them, so I hope you will too."  
"I hate chocolate."

Yuuki, Ryo and I gasp, horrified.  
I'm pretty sure that Kurenai and Baki would react like that if they heard that too.  
The kunoichi looks at us, frustrated.  
"I've only tasted it once in my life and it was gross. Why are doing this anyway? Why are trying to be... nice to me?" she mutters.  
'Cause you're gonna die soon and I feel bad for you.  
"'Cause where we come from, being nice is a good thing." The rice cookers goes off. "We made a late breakfast. Want some? The fridge is starting to empty out after six days. We made plenty. So, sit. Happy birthday, Tsuchi-san."

She gives me a weird look and shrugs.  
"Whatever."  
The meal of rice, vegetables and dried pork is served onto the table and we all eat.  
I keep an eye on Kin the whole time, because I saw what her team did to Lee. Bloody. And Zaku tried to kill me last night, so I learned my lesson already: don't trust the Oto-nin.  
The only thing strange that she does during the entire hour was the fact that she ate like if she was trying to win the fat contest. Apart that she is completely silent.

I'm guessing that she is slightly hurt for being abandoned by her teammates. It must hurt to be cast aside by people you really trusted, even if you hate each other. As humans, we tend to take things really personally even when unnecessary.  
"So... Tsuchi-san, how are you feeling about the end of the second exam? I hear that every year they have one on one battles with the survivors of the Forest of Death." asked Yuuki, trying to break the ice. Kin suddenly perks up.  
"I can't wait to show someone what I am really capable of! My techniques are absolutely invincible, I've trained forever and now I can show all of you weaklings what I can do!" Well, talking about her abilities seem to make her happy.  
"You seem very sure of yourself." I point out. "You must have worked so hard to achieve your level of strength."

"Of course. What else am I good for? Without power, a shinobi is nothing." she smiles.  
That is the part that chilled my blood the most. How she could have said that and seem to completely believe it. It reminds me of Haku, that ninja for the land of the Waves that team 7 had to battle. Innocent in some way, but totally corrupted my awful people. Kin is only a year older than me and she is certain that her meaning in life is... well, all this. I feel a sudden need to cry, but I squish it down by drinking some water. This is all so unfair.

"I thank you for inviting me to eat. See you in the arena." says Kin, getting up and bowing politely. Then, she smirks. "Honestly, I will give you each twenty seconds before you either give up of get killed. Except for you, Himeko-san. You seem to be the kindest, so I give you ten seconds. You guys just don't seem to be cut out for harsh ninja life."  
"You're right about the last point, but we adapt as quickly as we can to our environment. So don't underestimate us. If Abumi-san's face and the fact that I ditched him out cold on your doorstep last night is any indication." I life an eyebrow, only very offended.  
"That was probably the one and only great thing you have done so far. If you have the guts to do it again, and to Dozu as well, then I'll give you a full minute of survival." she huffs and leaves, nodding us goodbye.

There is a small second of silence as we wait for her footsteps to fade.  
"It's amazing to think that these people are actually human once they open their mouths and sprout that bullshit about power and the meaning of shinobi life." sighs Yuuki, finishing her food. "I really don't want to ever turn into one of them. It really scares me."  
I nod. Out of the three of us, my cousin is probably the one who tries to avoid violence the most, especially since she really hates blood. Ryo doesn't hate getting into fight, but in some ways I am probably the most likely to get into trouble, since I'm reckless to top it all off.  
"She isn't evil though. Just brainwashed my Orochimaru." I add, as we start to do the dishes.

Ten minutes later, I shove our male teammate in the arm.  
"You haven't said anything in ages, Ryo-kun. Stop randomly going silent, it's freaky. You did that when we first met the Sand Sibs too."  
He gives me a really sheepish look.  
"OK. You wanna know the truth? I tend to get silent when I first meet an older, hot kunoichi chick. Like Temari and Kin, for example."  
Yuuki and I exchange a glance and each dump of bowl of cold, soapy water on Ryo's head. Boys.

* * *

"Yuuki-chan! Himeko-san! What's your name the boy! Open up!" screams a familiar voice, thumping on our door. It's about mid-afternoon now, and we got a message from Anko saying that the deadline for the second exam is at six pm exactly, so we have to meet in one of the tournament rooms for a meeting with the Hokage.

Frowning, I open the door.  
"Ino-san! Shikamaru-kun! Choji-kun! You made it!" I grin, letting them in.  
They look totally exhausted and have tears and gashes in the clothes. I give each one of them a hug for no apparent reason. I'm just so happy to actually see them here, not having to think about people I care about getting beaten up my psychos.  
As we catch up and they tell us their version of the Oto-nin attack on Sakura, I hand Choji a pack of chips, hoping that it can cheer him up a bit.  
He practically hugs me to death and looks about ready to cry of happiness. I see Shikamaru smile at me in the corner of my eye.

If small gestures as simple as that can make them forget what shinobi have to go through, it's totally worth it. I wish I could forget right now, I really do.

* * *

An hour left. I'm starting to get fidgety.

"Himeko-chan, we've got a problem! Who the heck are they? They weren't suppose to pass the exam, weren't they?" Yuuki whispers, nodding towards three grass-nin sitting in the common room. Two young adults and one young woman, all looking about ready to curl up in bed and sleep for days. They are all wearing large pants and a jacket with a hoodie, rice patty hats, just like the Orochimaru's fake body did.  
One of the men has a scar from the right corner of his mouth until his eye and he's carrying a really long, curved sword on his back. The woman has short brown hair and one gray eye, probably meaning that she is blind on her left side and she is carrying two short swords. The third man on the team is horribly wounded, since I can see the bandages around his leg seeping with blood, 'til the point that he's leaving a tiny red puddle on the floor. He has to lean onto his team for support, since he can't even stand up properly, let alone walk. I feel terrible for him. This whole reality is really starting to sink in.

"Shoot. I was hoping something like this wouldn't happen." I whack my brains to think of a likely explanation. "I think that... maybe Masago's team was suppose to take them out. And since we delayed his team, we must have prevented their encounter. This whole 'blend in without changing too much' is starting to get hard. Every time we breath we are doing something that shouldn't be happening anyway."

"Nice explanation, Hime-chan, but what are we going to do about it? If one of them end up paired with, for example, Naruto in the preliminaries and they beat him, then the whole story will get totally messed up." hissed Ryo.  
"I almost always have a plan B, you know. This is one of those times, hopefully the last time I have to something like this. You know how I can communicate telepathically? I pretty sure that I can do something about the huge screen that tell us who we fight. I could tell it to pair _us_up with the grass-nins, since both are teams shouldn't really be here. I've tried to make my computer work without touching it, giving it information to show. It worked most of the times."

"_Most _of the times? Himeko, this is insane!" gasps Yuuki.

"I wasn't finished. If it doesn't work, placing images into the screen just by thinking it _is _possible too, thankfully. I tested it out combined with moving things with my mind, and it makes it easier to manipulate. It only works if I really focus, obviously. Our technology teacher wasn't kidding when he said that computers were just electronic brains that stored information. I could change the information in the screen. The really good thing is that, their technology here isn't as advanced and high tech as back home, so it must be easier to hack. I'm thinking that it's likely that we end up fighting them anyway, since the original battles were too perfect for change, and the computer picks the best matches. First, I'll try to feed it information that we are perfect match-ups for the grass ninja."

They both sigh in relief.  
"You couldn't have told us that sooner?" groans Ryo, shaking his head at me. "This has been chewing my insides out for days. What if we were paired up with Sasuke? Or Gaara? Or Neji? We'd be in trouble. We could have just forfeited the match, but what if we ended up with someone we actually had to beat? Well, at least all we have to do is beat these guys."

I frown. I'm missing something important. Oh, yeah. Names.  
I walk up to the three ninja who stare at me warily, but I put on my best harmless smile.  
"Hello, excuse me? Hi I'm Himeko, these are my teammates, Ryo and Yuuki. We saw that you just made it." I add that part so that they know that we arrived earlier than them. They have to take me seriously, because judging by the looks they are giving me, they are thinking of me the same way as Kin did. "I was wondering what your names were. I've never seen you guys around. I've actually never met real Grass-nin in my life." Orochimaru's fake team doesn't count.

The standing man looks down at his wounded team member, implying that the poor guy was their leader. He guesses that it's OK to answer my question after a nod from his captain.  
"We are from the Village Hidden in the Grass. I'm Ikuto. This is Shigeri." He motions to his bloody friend. "Her name is Haruko. When have you completed this part of the exam?"  
"The first day. We were the third team to get here."  
The 'oh-stupid-sissy-soft-little-babies' look they were giving us completely disappeared. They knew how horrible the Forest was and the fact we were in front of them intact (apart from a purple mark under my jaw, wasn't kidding about Zaku leaving a mark), fresh and smelling like soap was a pretty good indication that we weren't as useless as they figured we were.

"The infirmary is one floor up. You might want to change the bandages, Shigeri-san, they are completely soaked through. We still have an hour before the meeting." I add, before motioning to my teammates to exit the room.  
Once we are outside, Yuuki gasps.  
"Oh, thank god. I closed my eyes the whole time but I could practically smell that dude's blood." she groans.  
"They must be tough if they survived this far. However, they seemed to have barely made it. We've got to make sure we don't die against them." says Ryo, using his most serious voice.  
"Yes. They look exhausted, like if they haven't slept in days, so we have that advantage. Remember, if things really get really bad and you might die, forfeit. We aren't becoming chuunin anyway, with the Konoha invasion and all. But I say that we might win. Just don't let them find a weakness, I hear that Grass ninja are very good at figuring jutsus out, so I guess that they are pretty attentive."

I could see what we were already doing. We were sizing up our enemies. Almost as if we were analyzing the situation, wondering when to move in for the kill.  
The worst part is that we have to. This is what the ninja world is about.

* * *

Twenty minutes. Relief.

"Naruto-kun!" I pull the firecracker into my arms, so glad to see him in person again. "Cut it closer next time, will you? Sheesh... I missed you three so much. This a pretty long five days without you blond, pink and duck butt heads around."  
"Himeko-chan! Man, I glad to see you made it, believe it! After this, we should go eat at Ichiraku's!" he laughs, letting Yuuki join the hug.  
"Sure! It's a promise."

I pull a shocked Sakura into a hug too. What, did she think that I didn't like her or something? Just because I once yelled at her for being mean to Naruto.  
"You look better with short hair, you know? It makes you look more mature, and completely takes away that pinkie doll thing about you. You look stronger, Sakura-san."  
"I liked it better long, but you are right. It's time I changed." she smiles bravely.  
I think that I really do like Sakura better now. Cutting off her hair has transformed really, I can see that in her eyes.

I really need to feel some happiness around me before getting thrown into a gladiator pit to battle lions, monsters and bloodthirsty ninja.  
"Sorry, Sasuke-kun, you aren't escaping from me, so you might as well give up."  
The Uchiha sighs and opens his arms reluctantly with a glare, letting me hug him anyway. I notice the curse mark right away. So, this is where all the trouble starts.  
I can't believe that I'm actually hugging Sasuke friggin' Uchiha right now. I really don't want to see him turn over to the dark side, I kinda realized how nice he actually was. He's warm too.  
"I know a curse mark when I see one. I won't tell, but don't overwork yourself, it'll just make it worse. Make sure you get a jonin to seal it up." I say quietly.

"Naruto-kun! Sakura-san! Ryo-kun and Yuu-chan! I think Sasuke-kun looks kind of sad. I think that he needs a little more hugs here, so join in!" I grin when the Uchiha glares furiously at me, but it's too late. He gets squashed between Naruto and I in a huge group hug.  
"Sasuke-teme, you need a bath!" chuckles the knuckle-headed ninja, accidentally pressing his cheek against Sasuke's when Yuuki joins the hug.  
"Like your the one to talk loser! Let go of me!" growls the boy, before we all let him breath because I could feel the deathly vibes on him.

"OK, now that Himeko-chan has been creepy, let's get going towards the main hall! Apparently, the Hokage has an announcement to make."  
We all quickly migrate down the corridor until the correct door. It has a huge sign with '6:00 pm. DO NOT BE LATE OR YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED YOU MAGGOTS' written on it. I wonder who wrote that.  
We push open the double doors.

Team Kurenai, Team Asuma, Team Gai, Team Dosu and Team Kabuto are already there.  
Gosh. Kabuto.  
No, Himeko. Keep your feet to yourself and don't kick his balls. Just ignore him. OK.  
I give out more hugs to everyone present (except the adults and the Pokemon's and Sound team. Shino doesn't turn into a statue this time). I love hugs. It reminds me of what Kankuro and I were discussing the other day, about how the world would be a much better place if everyone got at least one hug a day.  
When letting me go, Kiba grins.  
"Sooner or later, we might end up having to battle. I haven't seen you guys fight, but if you made it on the same day as us, you must have a lot of surprises."  
Zaku and Dosu glare at me when I walk past but Kin just ignores us. I don't think it would be wise to hug them. Too bad, I really wanted to hug an Oto-nin at least once in my life.

My team and I exchange glances.  
Team Baki walks in with their poker faces on and I can't help but feel scared at the sight of a certain redhead now. I have already seen him in battle and it wasn't pretty. I'm in no hurry to see it rain blood anytime soon, but I can still remember what happens later on in this room.  
I know how Suna ninja are when it comes to a mission. When there is a mission, it comes before everything, even comrades. However, their mission technically hasn't started yet, right?

I walk up to the trio. Yes, as I suspected, even Kankuro and Temari were a million times more serious than they were for the past few days. Aren't we all? Our little vacation is over. No more bathhouse awkwardness, no more chit chatting all together as friends on the roof. Now, we were in it to win it, even if it meant beating up the person who you sat next to in last night's game circle, whilst we all shared embarrassing things about ourselves.  
We metamorphosed from teens to shinobi.

"Hey guys. The second test is finally over. It passed pretty fast. I don't know about you guys but once I get out of this tower, I'm going to eat something really tasty. I'm even starting to miss the hotel's restaurant." I smile.  
I see Kankuro dart his eyes to Baki, who is standing at the other side of the room, then he leans forward to not be heard by anyone around us.  
"Yah know, Himeko-chan, for a kid who appeared out of nowhere, you are pretty cool. Crazy, but cool. You are creepily kind to everyone you meet, but somehow managed to survive this long. And you aren't snotty, bratty or selfish. If all midgets were like you, I'd like midgets." He closes one eye and smirks at me.

I feel warm inside when I hear that. Man, I really like Kankuro when he is being nice. I wish that he treated little kids better though.  
"Kankuro-kun, do you remember that law we thought should be invented? That day when we met in the laundry room? Well, I've been testing the theory out on a couple people and I saw improvement in their overall mood." I nod at myself. The puppet-nin's lips curl up a little further.  
"It works. Of course it does, we invented it."

I chuckle.  
"Want to test it for yourself before we are probably pitted against each other for a horrible death match or something?" I ask.  
"For once, I really hope that it's 'or something'. Anyways, I'm not one to turn down an opportunity like this, am I?"  
He pulls me into a hug. I see Temari rolling her eyes and shaking her head, but she is smiling. I hope I get to hug Kankuro again one day, he is by far the warmest because he is bigger built than most of the guys.

"You're next, Temari-san!" I don't give her a chance to answer and hug her. One of the great thing about hugging girls like Temari or Hinata is the squishy feeling. Yah know, boobs. Holding a guy too tight can really hurt, but a girl is like a cushion.  
"You're a good type of strange, Himeko-chan. But if I somehow end up having to battle with you, then I'm still kicking your ass!"  
"Bring it on! Nah, don't want to fight you. But I ain't going down either." I let go of the kunoichi and pray to every lucky star that I probably don't own.

"The theory was actually that the world would be a better place if everyone got at least one hug a day." I explain when Gaara gives me a long look.  
"As long as there are people in this world to kill, then it cannot be a better world than this one." he says. Ah, so very cold Gaara like.  
"That's no fun. You can only kill someone once but you could get hugs again and again. If there were no more people and you were last person alive, then life would be boring. What are you going to do all day, count the grains of sand in the desert to pass the time? Or you could get hugs, which are awesome."

There is a second of silence.  
Awkward turtle, passes by. Awkward turtle fly, fly, fly!  
I made that up, I think.

"Gaara, you should hug her, or you'll be the only one who didn't. You don't want to be the odd one out, do yah?" suddenly says Kankuro, giving me a grin. Thank you Kankuro, I love you right now.  
"I'm already the odd one out." replies the redhead blankly.  
"This time, you don't have to be." I reply to his reply.

He blinks. I blink back. Maybe it's a new way of communicating.  
Then something amazing happens.  
Gaara takes a step forward, so that he is directly in front of me. He uncrossed his arms. After a second of thought, I realize that he isn't going to unleash his pet on me.  
I die on spot of fluttery butterflies. I don't know what could be possibly possessing him to do this (Shukaku? Naw.) but I'm going to act now and think later like a bad ninja.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him into a hug. My god, he still smells like almonds. I think that almonds are my favorite food now, just because Gaara smells like them. Gah. I'm going to have a spontaneous combustion of happiness. My heart really hurt. I love him so effing much. I want him to be mine. Gaara, I love you. Love me. I love you. Love me. Please. You are so warm...  
Of course, he doesn't hear my internal pleading. He just stand there, putting his chin on my shoulder. His hair is soft. I could stay like this forever. OK, maybe not.

I reluctantly pull away from the sort of awkward half hug (since he didn't wrap his arms around me) but, nonetheless, it's my favorite so far.  
"Told you hugs were awesome." I grin and wave at the three Suna shinobi before returning to my teammates, mouthing 'thanks' to Kankuro over my shoulder. He winks back, or he could have just been closing one eye.  
I mentally laugh when I notice Kakashi rolling his eyes, Kurenai looking worried and, most of all, Baki making an 'oh hell nah she didn't just do that' face at me.  
Sometimes, I do love the adults.

* * *

**Longer. Much longer.  
Shigeri is an actual Grass ninja that participated in the chuunin exam, I got his name out of the 'Naruto Anime Profiles' so he belongs to Masashi Kishimoto too. I made his teammates up though.  
Guess what? I wrote more than this (I was stuck home from school yesterday because of a typhoon so I had plenty of time to write) so it probably means an earlier next update that usual.  
In the next chapter, the fighting starts for real. Hope you review and thanks for sticking with me all this time!  
Now, Imma go to bed because it's 1am and my antibiotics are killing my brain.  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	31. Ninja Battles Start and old people

**Chuunin Preliminaries.**

**HimekoUchia: Sorry for any lateness, I had a one week school trip to Shanghai (I found out that that city has so much more Naruto junk than back home so I bought some of the stuff... lots and lots of it...) followed by a two week holiday in Shanghai. Our school has so many breaks, which is awesome. Then I came back to mountains of exams, contests, projects, friends who need me and a crap load of family problems. But I'm now here for you guys so... Battles! Finally!**  
**Yuuki: I don't wanna battle, Hime-chan...**  
**Ryo: I do. Well... Kinda...**  
**HimekoUchia: Either way, I don't own Naruto... Obviously, since, if I did, Naruto would be a romantic dramedy... Thank goodness that I don't own Naruto. Thanks for all the reviews!**

...  
_  
Last Chapter:_

_I reluctantly pull away from the sort of awkward half hug (since he didn't wrap his arms around me) but, nonetheless, it's my favorite so far.  
"Told you hugs were awesome." I grin and wave at the three Suna shinobi before returning to my teammates, mouthing 'thanks' to Kankuro over my shoulder. He winks back, or he could have just been closing one eye.  
I mentally laugh when I notice Kakashi rolling his eyes, Kurenai looking worried and, most of all, Baki making an 'oh hell nah she didn't just do that' face at me.  
Sometimes, I do love the adults._

...

At 5:59, the two functional grass ninja walk in, supporting their wounded comrade's weight. This is such a sad sight. I would give them a hug if I actually knew them.

Suddenly, a cute old grandpa walks in.  
Oh, wait, that's the Hokage. Heh.  
All the jonin leaders and examiners stand around him and Anko starts hollering into her microphone.  
"First of all, for the second test... Congratulations on passing!"  
Glances between teams and adults are exchanged.  
"The Hokage will now explain the third test! Listen carefully! Now, Hokage-sama, please."

The man nods.  
"Yes. For the coming third test..." He stops and pauses. _Well, with old age does come memory loss._ Gah, shut up mind! That's the Hokage! Respect him. "But before I explain that... There is something I'd like you to know. It concerns the true reason for this exam. Why do we have all the allied countries taking the exam together? 'To promote friendship among the countries'. 'To raise the level of shinobi...' I don't want you to be confused about the true meanings. This exam is..."  
He trails off again. _So... Old..._  
"... A replacement for war among the allied countries. If you go back in time, the current allies were enemies who fought each other over who would rule. In order to prevent wasteful fighting, the stage that these countries chose for battle... That is the origins of this chuunin selection exam."  
Naruto interrupts him.  
"Why do we have to do that crap? Isn't this thing for deciding who's a chuunin?"

The Hokage continues.  
"It is a fact that this exam decides which shinobi have what it takes to become a chuunin. But on the other hand, this exam has another side where each country's shinobis risks their own life to protect their land's prestige."  
"Prestige?" questions Ino, starting to look nervous.  
"Watching this third exam will be leaders and influential individuals from many countries who make up the clients of the shinobi. And the leaders of the countries will also be there to watch each of your battles. If the strength of a country is clear, that country will receive more clients. And, if seen as weak they will lose clients. And this will signal to potential enemy countries that 'our village has this much power'. So it will send a political message to the outsides."

"Yeah, but why? Why do we have to risk our lives in battles?" shouts Kiba.  
I completely agree with him. With all these life risking battles, I'm surprised that there are this many adult ninja left.  
"The strength of the country is the strength of the village. The strength of the village is the strength of the shinobi. And a shinobi's true strength is... born only through life-risking battle. This exam is a place to see each country's strength and to show off your own strength. It only has meaning because lives are at risk. And that's why those that have come before you have fought in the chuunin exam for this dream that is meaningful."  
Man, ninja are all whack.  
_Can't blame this one, he's gone off his rockets with old age._  
Shut up, voice. Not the moment.  
_Give him ten more years and he's transitioning from 'ancient' to 'living dead'._

"But then why do you say stuff about it being for 'friendship'?" asks Tenten, making me focus once again on the speech and not on how amazingly old this guy was for a shinobi.  
"I said it in the beginning, I don't want you to confuse the purpose of this. By losing life and establishing balance. This is the shape of friendship in the world of the shinobi."  
Every single genin, including my team, give the Hokage are long, dumb look.  
"Before we begin the third test I will tell you one more thing. This is not just a test... This is a life-risking battle with your dreams and your country's prestige on the line."

"I get it." grins Naruto.  
"I don't care what it is. Just hurry up and tell us what this life-risking battle is about." says Gaara. Man, I already missed the sound of his voice. Pathetic, Himeko, pathetic. But man, he's got a point. Hokage-sama is really dragging out his monologue.

"Yes, I'd like to now explain the third test but... actually..."  
He is interrupted by a cough as a shinobi poofs out of nowhere.

Hey, it's the guy who looks really sick!  
"I apologize Hokage-sama... from here on, as the referee... Will you please allow me. Gekkou Hayate."  
"By all means..." replies the Hokage.

"Hello everyone, I'm Hayate. Um... Before the third test there's..." He coughs. Gosh, his bags are practically darker than Gaara's! "... something I'd like you to do. Um... It's a preliminary for the third test to decide who gets to participate in the main event."  
Exclamations ring around me.  
"Preliminary?" asks Sakura politely.  
"Preliminary? What do you mean?" shouts Shikamaru, a little less politely.  
"Sensei, I don't understand this preliminary but why aren't all the people here allowed to participate in the next test?" continues the pink haired girl.

"Um. Because the first and second test may have been too easy this year. We have way too many people remaining... According to chuunin exam rules, we must have a preliminary and reduce the number of participants for the third test. As Hokage-sama indicated earlier, there will be many guests at the third test so the fights could take too long, we are limited in time... Um... So anyway... Those who are not feeling well, those who feel like quitting after explanations, please come forward now. Since we will be starting the preliminary immediately."

"What? RIGHT NOW?" Kiba freaks out and everybody, excluding a few, gulp a little. I have a sudden urge to quit and escape having to fight. I almost put my hand up. Almost, but not. I'm no Pokemon.

There is a silence and Kabuto raises his hand.  
"I'm going to quit now." he says sheepishly.  
"I saw that coming, four eyes." I mutter, but since he is standing next to me, he hears me perfectly fine and glares at me for a second before going back to his fake persona.

Hayate coughs some more.  
"Um... You're Yakushi Kabuto-kun form the leaf, right? You may leave now... Umm... Does anyone else want to retire? oh.. Um... I forgot to tell you that from now on it will be individual battling. You may raise you hand based on your own judgment."

Kabuto explains his liar reasons to Naruto, his teammates, exchanges sappy glances with Orochimaru disguised as a jonin sensei and leaves. Sakura starts arguing with Sasuke about his curse mark.

"Um... I would also like to forfeit."  
Surprised, I turn to my right and glance across the rows of shinobi. Ah, that guy.  
"Shigeri of Kusagakure, right? Yes, you may leave." coughs Hayate.  
Everybody in the room eyes the grass ninja as he slowly breaks away from his teammate's hold and starts to limp out of the room, dragging his bloody leg behind him, head ducked to hide his pain. His squad members each place a hand on his back until he leaves the group of genin and hobbles the rest of the way until he disappears. For a second, I wonder if I will ever see him again. In this world, you can never be sure.  
The adults notice Sasuke's curse mark and start speaking quietly so that we can't hear them.

"Um... Now... Let's begin the preliminary. This preliminary will consist of one on one fighting. You will basically fight as if in a real like confrontation. Since we now have exactly 25 contestants... Ah... It's an uneven number."  
Suddenly, it sinks in. If there are three of us and two grass ninja, then one of us might have to fight someone else, or maybe even fight twice. What to do?  
Yuuki raises her hand.  
"Fine. I'll forfeit so that only 24 people are left."

Ryo and I freeze in shock, but we realize that our teammate knew perfectly well what she is doing. We will only be fighting to take out the superfluous grass-nin, to prove to the watching jonin and kage that we know how to fight and that we are here to fight, so that they don't think that we, three teens from a non-existent village, just randomly poofed into Konoha to spy, sabotage stuff or kill the population.  
However, since there are only two grass-nin to take out, only two of us really need to fight. Yuuki hates fighting the most. And blood. Delaying a first real ninja fight is probably a great thing, especially to keep our sanity.

"Tanaka Yuuki of the village... Um... Hum... Yes, you may leave." coughs Hayate, until the point he is practically wheezing.  
My teammate starts walking, ignoring the looks everyone is giving her. Ah, I see the adults are getting suspicious as to why they have absolutely no record of us apart from the information we gave them to sign up for the exam.  
"I'll go help that bloody... very bloody grass ninja find a hospital fast. And bring Simba out of the tower to start finding his owners. You will have to tell me how the battles went, OK? Good luck guys." she whispers, then she leaves the room.  
Ryo and I exchange meaningful glances. It's now up to us now.  
"Which one do you want?" I say telepathically to him.  
"I'll take the dude. I'll leave the girl up to you." he replies.

"Well, now that there are 24 entrants, there will be 12 matches. Um. The winner of each match will advance to the next round. There are no rules. The fight continues until one of you dies, is knocked out or admits your defeat. Um... If you don't want to die then quickly acknowledge your defeat. But when I decide that the winner has clearly been established... Um... Since we don't want to pointlessly increase the amount of corpses, I'll jump in and stop things. And the object that controls your destiny is..."

One of the panels in the back wall opens to reveal a huge screen.

"... is this. This electronic score-board will show the match-ups for each battle. Now, this is sudden but let's announce the 2 names of the first fight."

I narrow my eyes and try to connect my mind with the machine. All I can see in it's artificial intelligence is blurry numbers, calculating. It's loud, fizzing mental voice resembles to an old radio, a high pitch buzz and a badly tuned guitar attempting to play Chinese opera, giving me a huge headache. I'm never doing this again.  
_Tanaka Himeko and Haruko are perfect match-ups. Murakami Ryo and Ikuto are perfect match-ups. Remember this information... please? Tanaka Himeko vs. Haruko. Murakami Ryo vs. Ikuto. Keep this in your rusty mind. Other than that, chose your matches as if we weren't here._

I felt my mental words slip into the computer's data. Now, fingers crossed that I don't have to reconnect with this brain destroying machine to force images onto the screen too. I'm not too certain that I can keep our names up there if I have to fight at the same time.

The screen beeps.

_Uchiha Sasuke vs. Akodo Yoroi_

Phew, at least I didn't mess up the other matches. First relief I've had all day.

"Now, these two entrants come to the front. The two participants in the first fight are Akodo Yoroi and Uchiha Sasuke. Are you ready?" asks Hayate.  
"Yeah." huffs Sasuke.  
"Yes." deadpans Yoroi.

"Now... We will be starting the first match. Will everyone except the two participants move to the upper level?"  
"Good luck Sasuke-kun. I'm actually going to root for you on this one." I smile at the boy, who raises an eyebrow then goes back to staring at his opponent. Ryo and I stand beside Sakura and Naruto whilst Kakashi chews Sasuke out about not using his sharingan during the fight. Without Yuuki, I know that Ryo and I are more vulnerable, especially with all the shinobi around. There is a reason they put three genin per team. Two isn't enough to survive, because the battle formation would be back to back to avoid blind spots, but we can't see directly on our sides. We need a third member to do that. Man, here I go again, thinking like a ninja.

"Now, please begin." Hayate takes a step back, probably not wanting to get caught in between the two boys when they charge.

Yoroi activates his jutsu and tosses shurikens, that Sasuke deflects. Then, the Uchiha flinches. Ah, the curse mark is hurting him. I can't really remember what happens in all these battles.  
Sasuke looks tired. He still manages to land a kick though. Then, a few seconds and complicated looking moves later, Sasuke is smashed to the floor with a hand sucking his chakra out. When my little chicken butt haired acquaintance/friend screams out in pain, I can't help flinching. Then, I start to mutter like a crazy whack.  
"No. Shit. Shit. Shit. Sasuke. My gosh. You'll be OK. You'll be OK. I'm sorry I ever insulted you or made fun of you, it wasn't fair of me to judge you for something you didn't even do yet. If you beat this guy, I'll... I'll organize a huge party for your birthday... whenever it is. There will be balloons, booze, cake and I'll even hire two hundred strippers just for you. OK, maybe not all that, but maybe balloons and ca- YES!"  
I jump happily when Sasuke manages to throw Yoroi off of him.

Then, Naruto yells at Sasuke.  
I immediately see the light come back in the Uchiha's eyes. What Naruto thinks really matters to him... Then again the boy knows just what to say to keep people going. It's his talent.

I don't remember exactly what he said, because I am too mesmerized by my first real live ninja battle (seeing Gaara kill rain ninja didn't count, I only saw the blood part). It's like watching an epic action movie in 3D, only very clear and scarier, since I am imagining how much each punch should hurt. How do they keep all their teeth in? How do they not bruise as much as they should? I remember one day when a friend of mine had gotten punched in the face. He nearly passed out and had a swollen lip for two weeks.  
Suddenly, when Yoroi charges at Sasuke, the boy disappears and appears under the older man, kicking him straight into the air. Oh, right, it's Lee's taijutsu technique but damn, that was magical. I can only do that when playing video games.  
Sasuke is soaring across the air when he jerks sideways in pain, and I see the curse mark expand onto his neck. Two seconds later, he manages to force it back, does a couple of flip kicks and Yoroi lies in a heap on the ground.  
Ah, well, in real life there is no such think as slow motion like in anime. You don't float in mid air for two minutes to give time for the camera to capture everyone's thoughts. You just don't. Actually, everything goes extremely fast. And there is no epic music either. The first match is already over.

Hayate checks the knocked out genin for a pulse and motions for the medics to pick him up.  
"I am impressed. I can not believe that Sasuke Uchiha could have mastered Gai-sensei's technique so quickly! He truly is a genius." exclaims Lee.  
"Yeah... I never really saw how strong Sasuke-kun was. I used to just see him as a stuck up pretty boy but he is a really amazing shinobi." I manage to compose my thoughts and look over to Ryo, who still has eyes bugging out of his head. I shake his shoulder.  
"Hey, I know that it's really cool, but it's only the first match. Don't freak out like this now!"  
He nods.  
"Wow." is all he says, and I get exactly what he means.

The medics bring Yoroi out of the room and Sasuke is kidnapped by Kakashi a few moments later to seal up his curse mark.

The screen then beeps.

_Aburame Shino vs. Abumi Zaku._

I sigh in relief that I'm not next, but at the same time I would just love to get it over with. Stress is killing me, now that the exam moment has actually arrived. It's like one of those impossibly fancy sailor knots is in my stomach. I need to pee.  
Shino and Zaku appear on the lower level.  
"You can start." mumbles Hayate.

"You should forfeit this match." says the bug-nin calmly, infuriating his opponent.  
Of course, the Oto ninja uses his arm that isn't in a sling to send a burst of sound towards Shino, knocking him off of his feet.  
Once Shino gets up, I can tell that the match is already over. Zaku is surrounded by bugs so he has to chose between protecting his front or defending his back. Oh, wait, right, his other arm isn't actually broken.

It doesn't matter anyway because the second the sound ninja uses his special move, his arms pop right off. My jaw drops and I make a gagging sound. I don't remember it being so gore. Ryo widens his eyes and freezes with that look on his face.  
We are both really starting to have second thoughts about this.

Shino calmly walks up the stairs as Zaku is carried off. I was rooting for my bug friend, of course, but I can't help feeling bad for the other guy. He lost something he was proud of. No going back.  
"Great going Shino-kun. You took him out in under two minutes." I smile at the boy.  
"I told him to forfeit. He should have listened." he answers back, walking past me to his team.

Suddenly, Kakashi poofs out of nowhere.  
"How is Sasuke-kun doing?" I ask at the same time as Sakura.  
"He's in the hospital now." the man rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"We'll announce the next match!" shouts Hayate. He coughs of course.

Beep.

_Tsurugi Misumi vs Kankuro._

"Finally." moans the puppet-nin, getting a glare from his teammates. When he is walking past, Naruto gives him a long glare and I give him a nervous grin.  
"My money is on you, Mr. Chocolate Abs."  
He smirks and closes one eye.  
"Good. Keep your eyes open and... tell me if you see something you like."  
I chuckle at that. Ah, I'm going to miss the laundry room days with this guy.

Naruto pokes my arm once the Suna-nin is out of earshot.  
"Himeko-chan, what the heck was that? Was he just _hitting_ on you?" he whispers. Sakura is giving me a look of horror and Ryo's eyes are darting from me, to Kankuro, back to me, then to Gaara.  
"No. It's an inside joke. Long story." I shake my head.

"You may start." announces Hayate.  
"Unlike Yoroi, I don't show mercy. If I show you my move, it's over. Give up." states Misumi the four eyes. When Kankuro merely stands there with one eye closed, Misumi carries on. "Fine, I'll end this quickly."

The Suna-nin smirks and takes his puppet off of his back.  
"I will be the one to finish this quickly!" he says.  
"I won't give you a chance to do anything!" hollers his opponent.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.  
In a couple of ninja fast seconds, the fake Konoha-nin wraps his body around Kankuro and starts talking about his ability. Why would he do that? Actually, why do all ninja spend ten minutes sharing their secret techniques with the enemy? It defeats the purpose...  
"So... Hurry up and give up." he concludes his monologue.  
"Heh." smirks Kankuro. "No way."  
"Do you want to die?" huffs the other man, slightly shocked, judging by the look on his face.

"You are the one who is gonna die!" chuckles Kankuro.

SNAP.  
There is a shocked silence and then whispers break out.  
"His neck is broken!"  
"He's dead!"  
"Did you hear his neck? Ow."  
Leaning over the railing a little, I search across a line a shell shocked faces to see the rest of Team Baki roll their eyes. They have probably seen this a hundred times before.

Misumi curses.  
"Damn... I killed you..." he huffs.  
There is another second of silence before Kankuro spins his wooden head around.  
"Then is it my turn now?" giggles the puppet before capturing the human man in wooden arms.  
I flinch a little since it's the first time I see the puppet. Kankuro emerges from the bandages.

"Isn't two on one cheating?" gasps Naruto.  
"It's a puppet jutsu." replies Sakura. "It's the same as using a kunai. It's only a weapon."  
"Kankuro-kun is a puppet master. It's almost like magic. How does he do that..." I whistle. "This is really impressive... Holy shit. He's gonna either kill or completely handicap Misumi."  
Ryo closes his eyes and I do too when we hear the man scream in agony.  
_I'm sorry I stood by and watched this happen to you. I know that you are a bad guy but you don't deserve this ninja fate._

When I open my eyes the medics are already picking up the comatose fake Konoha-nin and are about to announce the next match.

"Ninja are really looney, no offense to you all." sighs Ryo, leaning again the railing.  
"Yeah, especially these Sand people." snorts Naruto.  
"I've got to agree with you on this one, Naruto-kun. When it comes to battles, they take extreme measures..."

Ryo gets cut off when Kakashi taps him on the shoulder.  
"Thank your lucky stars then, Ryo-san. You aren't up against a Suna-nin." he says.  
My teammate and I lock gazes in shock then look up at the electronic scoreboard.

_Murakami Ryo vs. Ikuto_

…

**DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN!  
Hah, I can imagine you all gasping and cussing me out. Cliffhanger!  
I had to cut it off here because it was getting a little long (by my chapter standards anyway). I apologize for typos and weird sentences. Sometimes when I upload documents to the site words get taken out but I don't always catch it. I hope to update soon, since I already wrote most of the next chapter.  
'And Now I'm Stuck Here With You' is getting really slow updates and I apologize for it. I'm currently writing the next chapter, so it will be posted as soon as possible. I hope the people who read that story stay with me.  
So...  
You have read, and I would love if you dropped a review! Please?  
Peace, Love and food,  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	32. Akatsuki: The Zombie Brothers

**The Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 4: The Zombie Brothers**

**HimekoUchia: Apologies for lack of Akatsuki for a very long time. I had a tough first school term. Christmas holidays yay!**  
**Ryo: Shoot. After what happened last chapter, you will die.**  
**Yuuki: What happened last chapter? Oh, that's right, I can't remember because it was so damn long ago.**  
**HimekoUchia *sweat drop : Sorry. I do not claim copyright of anything I don't own (like the henna ANBU tattoo on my hand. Copyright Masashi Kishimoto-sama/donno/sempai/god). I apologize for the swearing but, hey, it's Hidan. I wrote a little recap for you guys:**

* * *

_Recap:_

_The trio gets captured by the Sasori and Deidara. They meet Itachi and Kisame, then Zetsu. Sasori teaches Himeko how to make a little puppet. Himeko crashes into Hidan and Kakuzu in search of her friends._

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_They are super tall, wearing Akatsuki cloaks and one of them has a big-ass scythe on his back._  
_When I realize what I've gotten myself into, it's far too late._  
_Hidan and Kakuzu turn around and their faces look confused, then the looks change._  
_They change to the same look that I get when I see a blueberry buttermilk muffin on a plate of molten chocolate fudge brownies topped in ice cream._  
_Happy murderous hunger._  
_F. M. L._

* * *

"Heelllllooooo there. Who the fuck are you?" smirks Hidan, taking a step towards me, reaching for his scythe. I gasp, terror overwriting any awesomeness of meeting the Zombie Brothers. I point my finger at him.  
"What? You don't remember me? Che... I'M YOUR WIFE YOU ASSHOLE!" I holler, then stay frozen in that position because I didn't know what else to do. I die a little inside when I realize that I probably made this situation worse.

"I did not know about this." growls Kakuzu. "I can't believe that a horrible man such as you could ever get married, Hidan."  
"THE FUCK? I've never seen this bitch in my life! Why you..." He looks ready to swing his scythe at me but gets interrupted by more questions.  
"I must say, Hidan, even if your god is disgusting and unreal, I didn't think you would be permitted to marry a little girl. That's sick." Kakuzu shakes his head.

I take a few steps back.  
"HEY NOT SO FAST! Who the heck are you?" snaps the silver haired man, pointing his weapon at my heart. I think that it might be a good time to teleport far, far away now. Or duck.  
However, before I can do that, someone jumps in front of me and I hear a clink of metal.  
"Hey! Get that thing away from her!" shouts Ryo, brandishing his huge shuriken defensively, glaring angrily at the man who just tried to kill me. Where did he come from? Man, he's got guts.  
"Ryo-kun!" I gasp, tugging him back, taking out a kunai so that he isn't the only one standing up to that guy. My fear has doubled now that he is here, since I am now scared for his life too, but I know that, if anything, he can at least take care of himself.

"Oh, another little brat. Who is this, your bastard of a boyfriend?" laughs Hidan.  
"Hidan, if she isn't your wife, and they are two of them then they are obviously not here by accident. They might be hiding in the base from bounty hunters, and you know what that means..." Kakuzu is cut off by his partner who didn't even listen to him.

"... brave little fuckers, now are yah? The ginger bitch and the other pipsqueak. Jashin will be happy for this blood. Kakuzu, don't interfere."

My teammate and I stand frozen, staring dumbly up at the man. Hidan swings his scythe up laughing psychotically. I feel the lighting strikes and terrifying music in the background.  
"Shit!" Ryo and I both shout, snapping out of our horror. We put up our hands and create a shield. In our panic, we do it a little too late however, so the when the scythe sinks into the shield it hits me on the right shoulder, but thankfully bounces off a second later.  
"Himeko!" gasps my friend, checking my arm.  
"I'll live." I say between clenched teeth, grabbing my aching shoulder, trying very hard not to sniffle even if I can tell that my injury wasn't that bad. The worst part was the fear. Hidan was a tall, crazy and absolutely scary man. "As long as there is no blood, it'll be fine. Just a bruise."

We then snap our attention back to Hidan, who is staring at his weapon with rage and confusion.  
"What? How did she not get chopped up?" he snaps.  
Kakuzu stares at us in interest.  
"Unusual. What a valuable power to have." he says, eyes shining.  
Oh my god. I really hate these two guys right now. They are staring at us like food or disposable plates, in an even more terrifying way than Zetsu did.  
"Not up for sale, sorry." I announce, since I just can't tell my mouth to shut up sometimes.

"Ah, talkative. Those type of people are the ones who beg the most when I rip their fucking guts out. I can't wait!" laughs Hidan again, obviously not discouraged by his first failure.

"RYO! Himeko!" shouts Yuuki's voice, then I hear steps running towards us. My heart falls.  
"No! Yuuki, stay away!" I scream. It's one thing to be scared of Hidan, but an entire other thing to think about my cousin being faced with someone so terrifyingly violent. I remember Gaara being murderous too, but he didn't do it often or this way.  
Hidan didn't only kill, he had pleasure in others pain.  
I did not want Yuuki within three hundred meters of this guy.

Unfortunately, she appears a second later, with Sasori-sempai walking slowly behind her, taking his sweet time.  
"How did three little brats get in? Weren't you and Deidara on guard duty?" chuckles Hidan, lowering his scythe, his momentum ruined.  
"They didn't get in, they were captured." Sasori notices that Ryo and I are alive. "As you probably saw, they are difficult to take down. We thought that Leader-sama might want to see them, so don't try to kill them unless absolutely necessary."  
I want to run to him and call him my hero, but I'm not stupid. Just getting more suspicious. Does Sasori want us dead or not?

Ryo drags me away from Hidan to stand beside Yuuki, who is eying the Jashinist warily.  
"Awww... Well, I guess that I'm going to let them live, since I am so fucking scared of Leader because he might kill me..." Hidan tilts his head sideways and smiles. "... Oh, wait. I'm immortal."  
The man takes a step towards us and Sasori gives me long look out the corner of his eye, so I take that as our cue to flee.

My team runs back to the main part of the Akatsuki base and we get stopped by a very angry looking blue man.  
"What was all that noise about?" he snaps, looking about ready to bite our heads off.  
Must be my unlucky day. Having very few ideas of what I could do to avoid another S-ranked criminal's anger, I do the most simple thing I could have done.  
I bow in apology.  
"I'm sorry for bothering you, Kisame-san. I ran into Hidan-san who tried to sacrifice me to his god and my friends plus Sasori-san had to distract him long enough to allow us to escape." I say.  
Hm, acting like a normal person would isn't as difficult as I imagined it to be.  
Kisame sure looks happy about the respect I just showed him.

"Ah, Hidan-san..." he chuckles. "You're lucky to be alive, kiddo. You'd better run before he catches up."  
I smile in thanks and my team rushes off, into our room, double locking the door behind us.  
"SHIT! I thought that he was cool, but in person he is just scary!" moans Ryo, rolling onto his bed.  
"Yeah, and something is suspiciously funky about Kakuzu. With him, though, as long as we never talk about taking his money, we should live." I add, massaging the stress out of my temple.  
"You guys are lucky that Sasori was walking back to his room when I went to look for help." huffs Yuuki. "I'm pretty sure that Deidara was close by because I could hear him talk loudly, but I doubt that he would have helped yah. More like cheer and chuck bombs at you."

I shiver.  
"The Akatsuki is awesome but so freaky. Hidan and Kakuzu are wackos, Deidara probably wants to shove us into an oven, Kisame wouldn't cry if we died, Itachi would watch silently as Zetsu tried to eat us and Sasori... I have no idea about that guy. Of course, I didn't expect any different, but their... sometimes inhumanity is awful. At least we're learning something for this." I mutter.  
"Yeah, the only people in this world who you can count on to always watch your backs are you friends. I don't get why Sasori-san saved our asses _again_ though." sighs Ryo.  
"Probably because he respects their Leader and wants him to decide our fate, unlike Hidan-san. But hey, you're right about friends backing each other up. Thanks for saving my butt, Ryo-kun, that was pretty awesome of you. And Yuu-chan, thanks for then saving Ryo and my butts. Hidan was a bleeping psycho." I say, lying on my back and closing my eyes. I scrunch my face up at the pain in my shoulder.

"No problem." chorus my teammates in unison.  
Yuuki comes over and sits on my bed.  
"Did you hurt yourself, Hime-chan?" she asks, having noticed my grimaces.  
"Yeah, we activated the shield too late, we didn't have time to project it further so it was way to close to us when Hidan-san swung his scythe. When his weapon sunk into the shield, it was close enough to get my shoulder. Since the shield was still there, the scythe didn't cut, so he didn't manage to bleed me." I explain.  
"Your shoulder? Which one?" questions my cousin. I point to my right side.  
Yuuki then heals me for a few moments. I sigh in relief when the pain slowly fades away.  
"Hime-chan, I can stop the pain and heal up any damage but you're gonna have a huge bruise there for a couple days."

I nod.  
"It could have been worse. It'll fade eventually."  
I look around our room and notice something is missing.  
"Hey... Where's Pinocchio?"

Ryo and Yuuki exchange looks, look under their beds, then look at me guiltily.  
"We were nearby with the puppet making the map when we heard Hidan laugh maniaclly, so we both ran off... kind of ditching the little guy. Yuu-chan went to get backup and I just ran towards you. Sorry. I'll try to find it later." admits my male friend.  
"Nah, don't risk your like for a puppet. We'll check when we absolutely have to leave the safety of this room." I sigh.

We stay our room, do nothing but sit around, take a shower and talk about how we could possibly leave the room without getting murdered by Hidan. In the fear, we skipped lunch and just sat in our room. Sometime during the afternoon, we hear a knock on the door.  
"Who is it?" I call out, as my friends and I ready our weapons just in case.

"Kisame." replies a familiar voice.  
I sigh in relief and open the door.  
"Oh, hiya Kisame-san." I say, smiling up that the ninja.  
"I just came to check that you guys were still in here. It was suspiciously silent." he grumbles, shrugging.  
"Oh, yeah, we're still here, just waiting for the coast to be clear. Say, when is Hidan-san going on his next mission?" I question, flattening our random folds in my clothes.  
"Hah, I checked that: not until Leader-sama comes back. He wanted to hold a meeting, so the Akatsuki will be present until he leaves and gives us our next missions." he replies, amused at our horrified looks.

"Darn." I cuss.  
"I think that Leader-sama really would want to see you three, so I'll warn you to stay for away from Hidan-san." says Kisame. I snort.  
"Yeah, no worries, we were planning on doing that."  
"The two things that man loves is swearing and slowly sacrificing people to his god. Killing people slowly is fun." Blueman flashes his spiky teeth, making me shiver and remember that he is an evil killer too. "But I do it for a mission or for myself, not for any god up there."  
"Well, good to know." I force myself to keep a grin on my face. "It's great that even though you're a shinobi and kill people and stuff, you are always loyal to your boss, respect the wishes of your teammates and do what Leader-sama would want. That's really cool of you."

Kisame smirks.  
"I do those things _because_ I'm a shinobi. A shinobi who betrays a mission or orders aren't shinobi, they are scum. I know that you're thinking of Hidan-san, but that guy is a different. He doesn't respect Leader-sama like he should. He's only here because he is powerful." frowns the man, obviously disgusted by his fellow Akatsuki member's way of acting.  
"Horrible. If you're going to join a terrorist group and kill people without a single care, you should at least respect your superiors and do what is right for your team." I nod. Kisame might be a murderer, but he isn't a psycho and has respect. There is that, if looking for this Akatsuki member's redeeming traits.  
"Correct, Himeko-san." replies the ninja, probably glad that I agreed with his ninja way (to some extent).

Suddenly remembering one of the main reasons my friends decided to mingle with S-ranked missing-nin, I pull out a piece of paper from my pocket as well as a pen and hand them to Kisame.  
"Weird question: could I have your autograph? To my friends and I, you are a celebrity, Kisame-san. For a murderer, you are pretty cool. Plus, you're blue, and we see that as really awesome." I ask.  
The ninja looks shocked, hesitant, then smiles and signs the paper.  
"It isn't always easy to be strange colored. Most people find that disgusting." he admits.  
"There was this girl back in Konohagakure with bubblegum pink hair, the Hyuugas have white eyes, Zetsu-san is a talking plant, Sasori-san is a talking puppet and a bunch of young people have grey hair. In this world, having blue skin can't even be considered weird. Those who bash on you for that are probably just insecure about their own inner problems that we all have. Of course, you beat the crap out of them if they do, so you get your well deserved respect." I point out.  
"That's true." replies the man, then he leaves on his merry way.

I close the door behind him and turn back to my friends.  
"Why don't you guys ever talk much with them?" I ask, sitting back onto the bed.  
"You're the only one of us who knows how to hold a conversation with all type of people, whether they are kids, evil old people, crazy murders or mentally unstable teens." huffs Ryo. "As long as they don't try to kill us, I'm cool."  
"They're nice when you first meet them, then you realize that they are really scary." adds Yuuki.  
I shrug and lie on my bed.  
"I guess I like talking to anyone, no matter who they are. Everybody is so individual, I find it a pity to not be able to get to know a maximum of people in life."

"Che, no duh, you're a chatterbox." snorts Yuuki. "Plus, you always manage to sound so philosophical whenever you open your mouth, going on about life and people. How old are you, thirteen or a hundred and thirteen? Sometimes, I can't tell. You even act like a childish brat sometimes."  
"Geez, thanks cuz. Feeling the love."

My stomach gargles.  
"Hey, when was the last time we ate?" I ask, massaging my tummy.  
"Breakfast." answers Ryo.  
"Urg, need noursihment. Aren't you guys starving? I mean, I didn't take any food scrolls, so I can't keep us going."  
"Yes, I'm starving." sighs Yuuki.  
"Wanna go get something to eat?" I wonder, my insides really starting to ache. Seeing Kisame made me think of sushi for some reason and now I'm fantasizing about buffets.  
"I would rather starve to death than have Hidan perform one of his sadistic rituals on me." shivers Ryo.  
"Good point. Maybe we should wait a little longer." I nod.

* * *

A few more hours pass.  
"SCREW MURDERERS! I'm hungry! Gimme food!" I cry, lunging at the door, kicking against my friends who are covering my mouth and trying to hold me down, which isn't an easy thing to do when I'm about ready to digest an entire sheep, wool and all.  
"Himeko-chan! Think of the dangers, then think about the food." says Ryo, my little angel voice. I know that he's right, so I try to ignore the little devil voice that is my stomach.  
"Fine." I cross my arms and think. "Hidan-san will try to kill us. Kakuzu-san's attitude towards us is unknown. No one really values our lives, but it seems that most of the Akatsuki want their leader to see us before disposing of us. So, the question is, how to we get to the instant noodles?"

A moment passes.  
"... I'm getting hungrier. Just follow me and keep silent. If we don't run into any ninja, then we have no problems." I decide, opening the door and tiptoeing out.  
"Himeko-chan!" seethes Yuuki. "Any plan B?"  
"I'm getting there... Or I'll improvise. I'm thinking, I'm thinking..." I mutter but keep walking down staircases, towards the Akatsuki kitchen.

The base is even more terrifying at night, since no sunlight seeps in. Only torches shine the way. I presume that some if not most of the Akatsuki would be asleep by now, bar Sasori who doesn't need sleep. And maybe Zetsu. I have no idea if that guy needs sleep or not. I can't really remember if Hidan or Kakuzu would die if they were exhausted, but I don't think I'll ever find out anyway.

I hope for a deserted base since any small noise makes me jump and hypothetically pee myself, but I'm a cursed redhead, so we run into Kakuzu.  
"Ah, children..." he says.  
I freeze and feel a shiver running down my spine. That sounded like something a pedophile rapist would say. Orochimaru, you've got competition.  
"Hello." I manage to reply, without squeaking to much. My friends are standing tensely behind me, hopefully ready to shield us in case this goes bad. "We were going to the kitchen for a quick dinner."  
"So, when Sasori-san and Deidara-san found you guys, were you escaping bounty hunters?" he cuts straight to the point.

"Sorry, no. We aren't worth any money to authorities whatsoever." I state calmly.  
"But didn't you escape Konohagakure? Doesn't that mean that you are missing-nins and whoever brings you back might get a reward?" asks the creepy man, taking a step towards us.  
Holy Jashin (I now understand why using that word as a curse was even more meaningful than 'shit', 'mackerel', 'cow' or anything else. Jashin is the god of disgusting things), why is Kakuzu treating us like a parcel? I mean, he obviously loves his dough, but this is offensive.  
"No, actually, we had permission from Konoha to leave the village. Technically we're on a mission to learn how to survive in nature with absolutely nothing. No food, shelter, any way of communication... Being in your base is pure survival, so I guess that we're doing it right."

Even if I can only see his eyes though his mask, his face obviously falls when hearing this.  
"Ah, what a pity..." he sighs. "I guess that Leader-sama might find interest in you anyway."  
I nod and decide that he is in a mellow mood that I should take advantage of.  
"Say, Kakuzu-san, could you sign an autograph? You are incredibly strong, cool and are very intelligent when it comes to taking care of your fortune. I hope you don't mind me asking."  
He huffs and signs the paper I give him.  
"Kid, I don't care about what you do, as long as you stay away from my money. If one of you so much as breaths on a single coin, I will slaughter you." he threatens.

My friends and I hastily nod our heads.  
"Of course, of course... Thank you."  
He continues walking up the staircase to his room.  
"Well, that wasn't as bad as I expected it to be." I smile and we walk down to the place where Hidan tried to kill us.

"So, where should Pinocchio be?" I whisper, looking down the dark corridor, shivering despite wearing a jacket.  
"He should be..." Ryo continues walking into another corridor branching off the one I met the Zombie Brothers in, and it's completely empty. "... here. Where did he go?"  
We quickly glance around then accept that Pinocchio is gone for good. I hold in a little sniffle of sadness. He was so young.  
"Sorry Hime-chan." whispers my team, but I wave them off.  
"You guys saved me, so I'm not complaining. Maybe one of the Akatsuki found him. Well, either way, he's probably a goner."

We abandon any hope of finding the puppet and continue down the base to the kitchen.  
It is thankfully deserted so our fear deflates and we fix ourselves an instant noodle dinner, then eat under the blazing torchlight.  
"If it weren't for the burning torches we would probably freeze to death." points out Ryo. "Winter is approaching fast."  
He's right. My feet are cold and my shoulders are shivering.  
"We should quickly finish eating then go back to the room. Get nice and warm in bed."

Once the meal is over we wash our dishes, leave the kitchen, pass the empty circular common room and race up the swirly staircase, back to our room.  
Unfortunately, shit happens.  
"All I wanted was a fucking midnight snack, but I think Jashin-sama will prefer three little brats." grins Hidan, stepping out of his own room and stomping his way towards us.  
My friends and I exchange glances. I activate a telepathic link between our three minds.  
"Should we teleport?" asks Yuuki, fear clear even in her mental voice.

"If we do, he might follow us. Sasori-sempai ain't gonna step in this time, so we have to throw him off. Any ideas?" I hiss in my head, starting to back up as Hidan is getting closer.  
"How about 'run like a little sissy'?" mentally squeaks my cousin.  
"Himeko-chan is right, we have to do something about this or he'll never leave us alone. Yuu-chan, stay behind me. This guy is a psycho." frowns Ryo, his hand reaching for his kunai.

Man, Hidan is ever more terrifying when illuminated only by torches in a dark staircase, and his steps bring him closer and he reaches for his scythe.  
"Just standing there like three little pigs." He smiles. "Jashin-sama will be happy."

* * *

**Yeah, sorry it's short, but I had to get this up today and inspiration was running low.  
Hope you liked it anywho! Read, review, love, smile. The normal Battle Plan chapter will hopefully be up soon. I already wrote most of it, but I can't seem to cut off the chapter. I'll see what I can do.  
Merry Christmas and a happy new year 2012!  
Peace, love, holidays.  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (eating expired cookie & cream ice cream, no matter how delicious, will make you puke. Lesson learned the hard way.)**


	33. Ryo's Battle: Shinobi Mindset

**HimekoUchia: My internet stopped working so I felt as if I was living in a cave for days! No connection to the outside world! How to survive?  
Ryo: Well, if you're seeing this then she thankfully got her internet back. Thanks for the reviews in the last chapter.****HimekoUchia: Apologies if I am making the canon characters too OOC. I try not to but, in the end, this story isn't meant to be that serious. I've made Hinata act cool, Neji act like a lovesick puppy and the Sandsibs are actually kind of nice in this story when, in the manga (that I now own. Merry Christmas), they are three evil little brats during the chuunin exam.  
Yuuki: Then again, in the manga, we don't even exist...  
HimekoUchia: No matter! I'll try to make things more realistic! I don't own anything that belongs to Masashi Kishimoto!  
Warning: I suck at writing fight scenes. You have been warned. Super long chapter... Begin!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_Ryo gets cut off when Kakashi taps him on the shoulder._  
_"Thank your lucky stars then, Ryo-san. You aren't up against a Suna-nin." he says._  
_My teammate and I lock gazes in shock then look up at the electronic scoreboard._

_Murakami Ryo vs. Ikuto  
_

* * *

"Himeko-chan..." Ryo mutters and turns towards me with dead eyes. "I just realized that I really loved being alive. These ninja are all super strong... It's depressive... Can I go after Yuu-..."  
I slap him across the face because I'm such a good friend.  
"Where did your balls go?" I growl.  
He looks at me, taken aback. He rubs his red face. Eh, maybe I shouldn't have hit him.  
"My... My balls? They're in my pants..."

"Then snap out of it. I totally get where you are coming from but think about it. We have to fight or we will officially be losers for quitting. You can do this, Ryo-kun. We've trained. We are all good at something. You are very agile with weapons. We didn't come here useless, remember?" I whisper, even if Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura are obviously eying me. "We can't let Yuu-chan down! It's up to us, man! Plus, if you make it through the match, you will get to give me a pep talk when I freak out even more than you before my match."

The boy thinks about it for a second, then gives me a smile.  
"I guess you're right... Do I get to slap you?"  
"No. Remember: weapons, teleport, shield and avoid making people randomly pass out... Good luck. I love you man, don't die." I pat him on the shoulder and he walks off. Honestly, I feel terrified for him. I don't want my best friend to get hurt. I don't want him to battle. He's got guts to be walking straight into his match with a smile on his face and getting pumped so fast.  
I trust him, I know that he'll win. I hope so.  
Still, thinking about him having to fight for his life makes me need to pee even more.

"I've never seen your team battle before." says Sakura with interest in her voice. "Do you guys have amazing moves?"  
"No." I deadpan, staring at her with wide eyes. "We don't have super awesome moves. Plus, none of us can even do a proper cartwheel."  
She looks at me, shocked.  
"What? How did you guys survive the Forest of Death? Will Ryo-kun make it through his match then? Shouldn't he forfeit?" she asks. Naruto is giving me the same dumbfounded look and Kakashi is staring at me too. All their questions are freaking me out. I touch the fading bruise under my jaw and poke it. A tiny bit of pain is enough to make me flinch... Ryo... Be careful...  
"No. Maybe. I don't know. Though he is probably terrified, Ryo-kun is brave. He is tough. He'll manage. He'll win, I'm sure of it. If he doesn't, I'll make sure he's OK and healed." I say with a little more certainty. I cross my fingers. "He'll be fine."

* * *

**Ryo P.O.V.**

Whoever invented the chuunin exams is a sadistic bastard. What was the concept?  
OK guys, lets toss a bunch of teenagers, ninja and morons into an arena and watch them beat the crap out of each other. While we're at it, why don't we make it a huge game for us? Maybe gamble on who will die? It's the Roman gladiators all over again.

I stare at my opponent and suddenly feel an urge to go to the bathroom. Stress. Damn stress. I keep an image of Yuuki and Himeko in my mind to motivate myself. Being the only guy in the team, I really don't want to end up the biggest chicken. That would just be embarrassing.  
"You may start the match." coughs Hayate.

I immediately grab a kunai. I would use my huge Demon Wind Shuriken but right now the handy ninja knife is easier to move around with.  
"Right." smirks Ikuto. "I could finish you off right now but that wouldn't be any fun. But first, give up right now. One chance, I have very little mercy."  
I calmly lift an eyebrow at him even if, inside, I just want to scratch all the walls out with my fingernails. Even if I'm scared, I'm also excited.  
"Thanks for the offer but no thanks. I've been waiting for a battle for a long time. I want to know how good someone from where I come from can really be."

Ikuto grins at me and grabs a kunai.  
"Good answer, boy. The village of..." He glances at my headband and laughs. "... Love with be so proud of your last words. Now, let's warm up." He does a bunch of quick hand signs and he is suddenly everywhere. Holy crap...  
Wow. Clones, the illusion type. Only one of them is solid. The real one.  
"Let's get started then..." I huff under my breath right as one hundred Ikutos charge at me.

I start hacking through them and they dissolve in a puff of smoke. The actual ninja is the only one who can harm me, but seeing so many people around me is overwhelming and I panic, though I try to keep it all in. I totally forget where I am and focus on cutting up these fake Ikuto.  
I turn around to get one of the men standing in front of me and suddenly feel a rush of air, then an itchy sting in my left shoulder. Then another sting. And another. And another.  
When I look down at it, I realize that I have a senbons sticking out of my arm and one out of my leg. Weird, I can't feel it yet. I must be in shock. I gulp, yank the one on my leg out and blood starts gushing out. Holy crap, bad idea.  
"Shit! That slimy..." The stinging is starting to turn into burning pain as my mind starts to register what is happening. "The real one got me..."

I completely forgot about keeping a shield, the clones have kept me distracted. That was stupid of me.  
"Damn this fu-..." Another senbon rushes past me, nearly lodging itself into my neck. I move away just in time. I feel a chill run down my spine from the top of my neck all the way down to my butt. "That was too close."

I nearly died. I try to push away the terror and pain and just focus on surviving. And winning.  
I see all the Ikuto faces smirking evilly at me and I get an idea.  
Thinking really hard, I teleport directly outside the ring of Grass-nin, giving me a few seconds to take down some clones before they realized what just happened.  
"My... You're a sneaky little bastard aren't you?" chuckles the man.  
I realized that ninja are way nicer out of the battle ground and talk a lot during. I can't be bothered to reply, my arm feels raw and is really burning and so is my head. I'm trying to ignore the pain but it's difficult when all I can feel is the fire. Why is it so painful? It's hurts like hell! It's like someone pumped chili sauce into my veins. OK, bad image, I feel sick now.

I decide to throw a dozen senbon as well, to get rid of some more Grass-nin. I silently thank myself for practicing my aim intensively so that a little more than half of the projectiles hit their target.  
Teleporting once more, I repeat the procedure, trying to finish quickly since the ninja is catching on and reacting faster.

In about twenty seconds, the only two Ikutos left are at the end of the room. So, one of the two are real.

They both finally take out that large sword strapped to their backs.  
"You think it's that easy? I've been going easy on you to see how strong you really are. I've got to say, I'm disappointed. I expected more from a team that survived the Forest of Death. You see this sword?" He pauses and looks at me. I shrug. He's going to tell me anyway. "Well, you can forget your little teleport and stab technique when dealing with this sword."  
The other Ikuto picks up and they take turns talking.  
"Not only is it powerful and precise, it's an impenetrable defense mechanism. When I do this..." He spins the sword super fast around himself. "... I can deflect any weapon and even some jutsu, for my sword is infused with my chakra. Don't even think you can beat me with speed, a 360 degrees chakra shield is created around me whenever I use this move. I'm unbeatable. Actually..." He puts his sword down and gives me an evil grin. "... Hn hn. You don't look so good..."

Well, no shit Sherlock. I want to puke so bad and get my arm amputated. It looks like a porcupine and moving it an inch brings me even more pain. I try to think up a way to defeat this guy. That sword of his is pretty useful. Darn it. The fact that I am freaking terrified doesn't help with the focus.  
"Do you know why? That's because all my weapons are covered in poison, including senbon. If you don't get treated, your entire body will be paralyzed in less than a day. You are in such a pitiful state that I can't help but feel mercy for you, pathetic thing. After one tiny senbon, you already look like the walking dead. So, right now, I give you one more move before I show you what else I can do with this weapon, I'll even put the sword down. Trust me, it's a lot worse than getting poisoned. Come on boy, you are going to use a jutsu now, aren't you? You have no other choice, really. Or maybe your Demon Wind Shuriken, right? Either way, you only have fifty percent chance of hitting the real me. This should be fun... Come on kid, no pressure."

He starts tossing his sword about, mocking me. He says he isn't going to use it, but I know that he's probably bluffing. If I don't take him by surprise, he'll deflect my attack.  
He's got a point, though. I'm feel absolutely helpless. I try to think of a way out. Any way out. Damn it, I wish Himeko was in my head right now. What would she do? What would a shinobi do? Left or right? Neither choice is possible. I need a third choice.  
Three seems to be a ninja lucky number, since they put three people in a squad. It's to avoid blind spots. To avoid enemies coming from either side, left or right or behind, and in front of you. Hm.  
There is only one thing left I can do and I hope it works. I don't want to know what his ultimate move is.  
I take my Demon Wind Shuriken off of my back and he laughs.

"RYO!" I turn my head sharply and realize that Naruto has decided to give me a pep talk. Man, this is actually sort of embarrassing. "What are you doing? Use a jutsu! You can't hit both of them using that shuriken!"  
I glare at him to shut him up. I admire him, but I don't want him to lecture me without knowing what I am going to do. I can try to handle the match, but not if someone is shouting at me.  
Next to him, I notice Himeko chewing her lip raw until she has blood leaking down her chin. She seems even more nervous than me, but completely concentrated. She smiles when she notices me staring.

Right now, I actually feel calmer. I hate being hasty when I need to make life or death decisions. If it takes me ages to get something right, so be it. Unfortunately, I cannot afford taking my time here. The faster I finish this match, the better. If I keep going at it, he might end up using his jutsu against me, then I would be in deep shit. As he said, he is still warming up, so I have to take him out before he decides to get serious.  
Well, if all else fails, I can hide in shield and knock this guy out. Urg, but he's standing too far from me. I can't make it look like part of the fight.  
Fine then. Now, I'm the one that's going to get serious.

The tiny moral voice that used to be in my head telling me that I should never try to kill anyone is slowly fading away. Right now, any sympathy I have for this man, this human being, has disappeared. He's going to get me unless I get him first. I have to hurt him if it means survival. And in this case, survival is my victory.  
All trace of guilt melts away in my mind. This guy tried to kill me. My arm is burning and poisoned because he is a true ninja with no mercy. I'll try not to end his life, but I'll be more than happy to see him go down. At this moment, I realize what this feeling is.  
I'm no longer a young teenager with an urge see the world turn into a better place. Right now, I'm a ninja who is about to attack another ninja without any regret.  
"So this is a true shinobi battle? A ninja's mindset?" I think, grinning to myself. "I have to defeat this guy... No matter what it takes."

I snap open the huge shuriken and glare at both Ikutos.  
I close my eyes for a second, take a deep breath and focus energy into my hand. I feel the shuriken click as the first seal, adapted to my energy, starts to activate the chakra seals.  
I mentally thank Temari for helping me with the weapons. If she hadn't...

I throw the shuriken with all my might right between the two identical ninja. They both laugh.  
"Bad aim, kid."  
When the shuriken is about to pass them, the blades extend, making the illusion Ikuto dispel and the real one instinctively flinch sideways in shock to avoid getting hit.

Now.  
I run and throw a kunai where he is about to step, forcing him to sidestep it again. This gives me enough time lunge myself at him and punch his head downwards as hard as I can with all the strength in my good arm. I hear a thunk.  
I land in a heap on the ground and feel the pain in my numb arm start to flare up again. I quickly sit up and hope to the high heavens that that punch was enough to make Ikuto unconscious. I am ready to fill his mind with blankness in case he isn't or I could hit him again.

I groan in relief when I see the man lying on the ground eyes closed, with a disgusting gash where his face had connected with the floor when I punched him. There will be another scar on his face. I didn't know I hit that hard.  
Hayate checks him.  
"Um... He's out cold. The winner is Murakami Ryo."

All my nerves relax and I deflate like a balloon. I won. I actually did it.  
The feeling of 'I don't effing care if this guy dies, I'm going to beat him' fades away and is replaced by exhaustion. I'm relieved to see it leave and I gladly welcome back my humanity. Thank god that it was temporary, I wouldn't want to turn into a psycho killing machine. I don't regret hurting Ikuto, but I now give his health a thought.  
I mentally apologize for his injury but I now know the true meaning of battles. It's him... or you.

I let myself lie back but instead of feeling the cold ground I am propped up against something soft.  
Yuuki...? No, Himeko. I slump onto her, starting to feel dizzy...  
"Ryo! The medics are coming, don't pass out now! I can't do anything about the poison, so we'll need to get an antidote. If we don't, your arm might rot off and the rest of your body will slowly be eaten inside out by the poison just like in that bug movie, just saying. But seriously, don't pass out."  
I nod. If I pass out now, I won't be there for her when it's her turn to fight. She's my friend and teammate, so I have to be there to protect her in case something bad happens.  
My kind, caring friend who is a over-exaggerating freak more than half the time and has a temper as unpredictable as a pregnant walrus... on drugs.

To illustrate my point, she starts hugging me and rocking me from side to side. I don't even get creeped out because I'm so used to her reactions by now. I'm actually glad that I didn't horrify her and that she obviously wasn't going to treat me differently for smashing a person's face in.  
"You did it, Ryo-kun... That was amazing. It's like you were a different person, it was almost scary. But you managed to defeat him so fast. I never expected you to be so great. I mean, I know that you're good but that was..."

She trails off when a group of medics come over to me.  
"Could I stay here please? I want to watch the rest of the matches." I ask them quickly before they can put me on a stretcher and bring me to the hospital. "Unless you don't have an antidote on you... Then I don't have much a choice, I guess."  
One of them show me a first aid kit.  
"If you feel fine enough then we'll just check you up and give you an antidote if we have the correct one. The less people in the emergency ward the better. Most of the participants from the chuunin exams always end up in a worse shape."  
Yeah, translation: I'm not from Konoha and I don't seem to be dying, so he doesn't really give a crap what I do as long as I don't pass out because that would be his fault for not making sure I was completely OK.

Another medic-nin runs a gloved hand glowing with chakra over my left arm. The pain already spread to my chest, waist and down my leg.

He quickly starts pulling the senbon out of my arm and healing me bit by bit. I gulp at the sick feeling I get watching this scene, as I'm pretty sure I saw a something white there. Himeko-chan picks up on my expressions and distracts me (and probably herself) by talking with a terribly fake South American accent.

The medic finally finishes yanking the spikes out of my body and heals up the punctures quickly. He then hands me a sling.  
"Wear this for a least three days to avoid big movements. You should be fine. No broken bones. No ripped flesh, just punctures that are far easier to heal. Pure Grass village orange striped snake venom. Acts fast and can be very destructive if injected close to an organ, but common." He opens the first aid kit and fishes through a collection of vials. He takes one out and uncaps the end, revealing a long, pointed needle.  
I do not want that poking into me after all the stabbing I went through...

Urg, too late.

I groan and dig my nails into Himeko's arm as the medic stabs me, feeling the antidote rush into my veins and all around my body. I then bite onto my knuckle to stop myself from swearing like a sailor or crying like a sissy. It burns even more than the poison. Well that sucks.  
Himeko makes a weird squeaky noise and eyes the needle.  
"You are lucky your opponent didn't decide to get crafty when mixing his poison or this would be much more serious. It's also a miracle that he only got one of your arms. At least you can use the other."  
The medic bandages my arm and the top of my left leg, packs up and leaves with Ikuto's inanimate body.  
"Thanks doc." I mumble even if he is gone. "I'm especially lucky that Ikuto was tired and easily distracted. And that his poison 'wasn't too bad'... Can't forget the poison..."

The burning starts to decrease until I feel a chill. My body suddenly feels tired out even if my mind is wide awake.  
"I was friggin' terrified, Ryo-kun." sighs Himeko. "Are you feeling better?"  
"Yeah. The antidote works pretty fast. Heavy, though."  
She smiles and teleports us onto the balcony.  
"Glad to hear that. So how was it like? To battle?"  
"Just as bad as it look, to think that that guy was only a harmless little genin. Imagine if we were fighting real elite, Himeko-chan. That was horrible, painful and exhausting enough. I was running on adrenaline the whole time. The whole survival instinct really kicks in. It's almost as if your body is moving on it's own no matter how frozen in fear you are. Right before attacking, I had to accept that battle means blood and pain. There is no other way, or it would be called 'fun'. Get yourself ready for it, Hime-chan."

She nods calmly.  
Huh, she looked so freaked out during my battle I'm surprised she isn't spazzing right now. She is unpredictable.

* * *

**Himeko POV**

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My god, I don't want to bleed this much!  
No. Must not scream. Ryo just went through a lot. He needs me to be here for him.  
THAT WAS EPIC YET HORRIBLE!  
Huh. Ryo is pretty cool. I get what he means... I hope that I'll be able to attack a human being when it's my turn. I'm glad he did though, or else he might not be lying in my arms right now.  
"Your battle strategy was remarkable, especially for a first time." I rub his back and help him sit against the wall. Very nice Himeko. That sounded composed and nice, unlike that first remark.  
Urg, why did I have to say that?  
The situation was so tense and I was so totally freaked out. I have to be tender with Ryo, he went through a lot. Probably physically and mentally draining.

I take a couple deep breaths. Better. Still stressed. Still need to pee.  
"Thanks. I thought about how a team is composed of three people for a reason. To avoid blind spots. He had no vulnerable side because of his weapon, so I thought aiming straight on was oddly the best idea. I also got inspired when he mentioned how I only had fifty percent chance to hit him even with my Demon Wind Shuriken. It reminded me how I could actually reach both if I extended the blades. I have to thank Temari once the prelims are over. Without her, I wouldn't have known how to do the whole sealing thing." says Ryo, glancing over his arm. Some blood is seeping through the bandages. The medic probably had a bad day and missed a few punctures.  
Huh, well, screw that guy for leaving my friend with holes in his body.  
I place my hand over his arm and close up any of the forgotten wounds with healing. Then, I decide to just go ahead and heal his entire arm again. It might help.  
"Try not to move it or it will reopen, those were nasty and some went all of the way through. You'll probably have scars though." I say.

My friend nods and lies back onto the wall.  
"They already started the next match... Who is it?" he asks, since he can't see from where he is sitting.  
I look over the railing.  
"Sakura and Ino." I answer, walking back to my teammate and removing the bandages from his arm.  
I clean off as much blood as I can and re-bandage his arm, then continues running my hands over it.  
"If I keep healing you up until my match comes then you might not have to wear the sling. Just don't move while I'm at it."  
"Sure thing doc." he grins, looking pleased with himself. I grin back, feeling a whole lot of pride bubbling up inside of me. My teammate can be so brave sometimes, it makes him almost unrecognizable.

"You know... maybe the screen is the one who paired you up with that guy after all. You two were pretty evenly matched." I ponder out loud. "Your primary attack is the Demon Wind Shuriken, his was his sword and poisoned senbon. Weapons on both side. He had chakra and jutsu. You had teleportation. In the end, it was mostly a battle on who could find a way to reach the other first."  
"Good point." he answers. "Teleportation is useful, but difficult. I have to really focus on it which is a disadvantage in the heat of battle."  
"Weird, to do it all I have to do is think of a location then I immediately zap to that spot." I frown.  
"Then again, Hime-chan, your teleportation skills were powerful enough to bring us to another universe." says Ryo.  
"Well, teleporting was the thing I practiced the most. I now wish I practiced a little more taijutsu, then I could easily beat the crap out of my opponent." I sigh, but return to healing my friend.

A blond suddenly comes into our view.  
"Ryo! That was some pretty good thinking, believe it!" Naruto grins at us, his whiskers twitching.  
My best guy friend smiles.  
"Thanks. If I didn't think of something, I would probably be... 'worse than poisoned', as Ikuto-san said." he shivers a little. I absentmindedly pet his good shoulder.  
"But, Ryo... Apart from teleporting, why didn't you use any jutsu?" asks the blond.

There is any icy cold silence where Ryo and I probably share a similar thought.  
Shit. What to say...?  
I didn't even have to activate my telepathy to know what he was thinking. My teammate looks at me and raises an eyebrow.  
"Well, you see Naruto-kun..." I try to rack up a decent explanation. "We are sort of like Rock Lee, minus the incredible taijutsu skills and slightly... big eyebrows. We can't use jutsu just like that. We don't have a very developed chakra system, though our power works similarly: a combination of mind and body, but mostly mind. Actually, our powers are similar enough to yours that we can do some of the things you guys can do, like creating and unlocking seals. However, I don't think that we can perform standard or elemental ninjutsu or any jutsu that is material, for example a fireball or water dragon. I guess we can do some things that are considered genjutsu, since it's in the mind and involves mostly control, not a whole lot of hand signs and pushing chakra out of your fingertips shaped like swords or a turtle or a... sandwich. Whatever. Ah..." Naruto looks completely absorbed in what I'm saying. "... but the shield is material but invisible... Yah know, honestly, I don't know how this works myself. I don't know what we can or can't do, we're just going with the flow. Tell you what, the day you can explain to me why Rock Lee can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu at all, I'll find a better way to explain why we can't do any jutsu apart from some genjutsu, basic healing jutsu, some sealing, shielding and teleporting. Sorry if I left anything out."

I smile and pat Naruto on the head. He gives me a long look.  
"Himeko-chan... That was really confusing... What do you mean bushy-brows can't use jutsu? What's elemental ninjutsu?" he mumbles.  
I sigh and mentally kick myself. I'm getting ahead of myself. Beside, this is Naruto I'm talking to. I'll have to dumb it down.  
"I know, sorry. I'm kinda wound tight. To sum it up, there are some things we can do and some that we simply can't. So, instead of trying to find out why we couldn't do the things we can't do, we just decided to train, improve and hopefully master the things we can actually do. Now, it does make sense if I compare us to Lee-kun. He's a master at his art. We're doing our best in ours."

Naruto nods as if he got it. I have a feeling I sort of lost him along the way.  
"That sounds cool, believe it! You know, you two and Yuuki-chan are very strange people. Man, like the day I first met you guys? That was the first time someone who knew who I was seemed happy to see me, believe it!" grinned Naruto.  
How can he say something so sad with such a happy face? I feel pissed at all those people who judge someone based on what demon was locked into them. I mean, yeah, maybe Gaara is a psychopath, but if people believed in him (or if Naruto beats the crap out of him), he could change.  
But, honestly, Naruto? With Lee, he's the sweetest boy that I have ever met. It's horrible to think of him as being looked down upon because of something he couldn't control.

"Naruto-kun..." I pat him on the shoulder. "It was a pleasure meeting you. Anyone would be lucky to have someone as honestly kindhearted and devoted as you in their life. You went through shit and came out stronger, which is much harder than it sounds. Those who treat you badly just don't know how awesome you really are, unless they are evil. Just remember that, OK? I know that one day you will do amazing things Naruto-kun, because someone like you can make anything happen."  
The blond stares at me for a second then sniffles. I pull him into a hug because that was adorable, even if fake anime tears and snot started flowing there.  
"Th-Thank you Himeko-chan!" he mumbles. "And I will do amazing things! I'll be Hokage someday, believe it!"

"If you do, I want your autograph." grins Ryo, lightly punching Naruto in the arm. I lift an eyebrow and move in closer to Naruto's face.  
"Screw that. If and when you are Hokage, I want you to autograph your underpants and send them to me so that I can hang them on my wall. And maybe a naked poster of you. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable. Or both."  
"Himekoooooooo..." groans Naruto, red in the face whilst Ryo just rolls his eyes. "I can't do those things!"  
"Oh... So would you want to sign my chest instead?"  
"Himeko-chan!"  
"Right, right, sorry... How about an autographed ramen bowl?"  
Naruto thinks about it for a second then his face lights up.  
"Yeah! How about ten thousand ramen bowls?"  
"One or two would be enough."  
"OK."  
"Deal."

So we shake hands and the blond goes back to watching Sakura and Ino's long, pretty calm match.  
"You're evil sometimes." mumbles Ryo, shaking his head in disbelief.  
I laugh and poke his side, making him flinch and hiss.  
"Occasionally. I thought you weren't that ticklish."  
"I'm not. You just practically finger stabbed my side." he grunts. "I'm going to have a bruise."  
"Oh. Sorry. Nervous, I guess." I make a face similar to the one I make when I'm drinking dark brown Chinese medicine.  
"Don't do that, Hime-chan. That face just isn't attractive." He backs away when I glare at him. I'm pretty sure he muttered 'moody freak' there.  
"Don't care, Ryo-kun." I snort and cross my arm.  
"Gaara's looking your way."  
"Gah!" I instantly plaster the shiniest smile I can muster onto my face and stare at the railings.

"... I was kidding." chuckles Ryo, moving away just before I could hobble him.  
"You suck!" I growl.  
My teammate rolls his eyes and gives me a withering look.  
I huff and try to focus on the match going on, since I can just about see through the railing.

I observe the two kunoichis' fight as well. The girls are throwing punches at each other. It isn't particularly amazing, but I suddenly feel admiration and sadness.  
Those are real kunoichi. They punch each other until they're bloody and bruised. They look so strong and powerful. I've never been in a fight apart from sparring with my friends and I've really never wanted to be in one.  
I wonder... How will I manage when it comes to my match? I can't throw punches like Ryo can, and I've made a personal deal with myself that I wouldn't read my opponent's mind to know their every move. Not this time. I want to know if, using only the moves that both of my friends possess as well, I can defeat a shinobi. Like Ryo did.

I shake the thoughts away to get rid of the new wave of nerves trying to get to me. I can't think about it until it's my match. If I freak out, I'll have even less chance of winning. If I use my head, I might stand a chance.  
Kunoichis as just so strong. Haruko is standing on the other side of the arena, glaring kunais at Ryo and I.  
I make eye contact with the girl and we hold it for a few seconds. She wants to make Ryo pay. I can't blame her after what my friend did to her teammate. She'd probably love to beat the crap out of me too.  
She seems very strong, just like her comrade was.

OK, Himeko, don't psyche yourself out now. Focus on Sakura and Ino. Watch the matches. Learn something from them.

In the arena, there is Ino's hair everywhere. She takes over Sakura's body. With Naruto's help, Sakura manages to chase her out.  
They both throw a final punch.  
They tie then it's the end of their match.

Kakashi and Asuma poof into the center of the room to bring their students up to the balconies.  
They lie the girls on the ground, against the wall, besides Ryo. He looks slightly awkward sitting there, so I help him up and he stands next to me in the circle that has gathered around the two passed out kunoichi.  
"Neither one of them is hurt enough to need the help of the medics. They should regain consciousness in the next half hour or so." states Asuma. "But... I'm impressed by both of them."  
"Naruto and Sasuke were both doing well... And now even Sakura has shown amazing growth. I know that you've been through a lot but I'm glad I've enrolled you all in the chunnin exams. I mean it." smiles Kakashi, looking down proudly at Sakura.

I bite my lip at the scene and cross my fingers.  
I hope that I win my match when it comes. Tying must be frustrating when it's with your rival, so if I tie against Haruko, I would be outright pissed.  
Before I can start thinking about how nervous I am about my match again, everyone turns towards the big screen that is showing the names of the next two opponents.  
"The sixth match of the preliminaries... Tenten against Temari. Please step forward."

* * *

**Super duper long chapter. I decided not to make two parts and just give you all a nice, long read. Well, I tried to find a place to cut it off, but since there was Ryo's POV I couldn't really cut it in the middle. He deserves to be heard all the way.  
So, yes, I suck at writing fight scenes. I mostly write the thoughts going through the character's head during the battle. Apologies to kungfu masters who just face palmed. Love you all!  
Read, review, have a happy new year 2012! I spent new year alone, watching fireworks on the TV, eating wine gums and loving my computer. Sad. Very sad.  
Almost the end of the word,  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (Don't be surprised if things are a little different if you go back and re-read the story. I changed loads of little things I messed up.)**


	34. Defying Newton

**HimekoUchia: Hi! Long time no see guys!  
Ryo: Almost four months... You effing kidding me?  
HimekoUchia: I'm so sorry. I feel terrible about it. I really, really apologize for lateness. If you want explanations: an average of 7 hours of exams per week (Brevet mocks, IGCSE mocks), homework, three books to read for homework, procrastination, Hetalia marathon, Hetalia addiction (reading fanfiction, making** **AMVs for my friend, hopefully writing fanfictions for this awesome manga), enjoying life with my friends, turning 15, my brother turning 13, writing competitions (won one again, yay)... There's so much shit to do in life, but I will always write and you guys know that. It brings me happiness, I just don't always have the time. Thanks for those who are sticking with me!  
Yuuki: You're lucky if anyone is sticking with you...  
HimekoUchia: 'The Battle Plan' is a basically the manga with any anime scenes that I like added on. I give more 'fic time' to characters that I like that haven't been in the spotlight enough in the manga. For example, Tenten and Temari (and Kankuro and Baki). I'll be putting in their fight. Some characters are so underrated.  
Ryo: I'm just glad my match is over...  
HimekoUchia: I don't own Naruto! Shout out to '_sen whitefox mako red demon_'! Check out their stories, Himeko guest-stars in some of them (or will in the future)! If you want to see Ino reading porn, there's the place to go...  
Yuuki: Thanks for reviews! Now... Story! For those who watch Hetalia, find the quote!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_I hope that I win my match when it comes. Tying must be frustrating when it's with your rival, so if I tie against Haruko, I would be outright pissed.  
Before I can start thinking about how nervous I am about my match again, everyone turns towards the big screen that is showing the names of the next two opponents.  
"The sixth match of the preliminaries... Tenten against Temari. Please step forward."  
_

* * *

The first thing I notice was Kankuro and Lee sharing a glare, then Gaara and Neji exchanging cold glances. Both teams believe that their kunoichi was going to win.  
The Hyuga huffs and turns his eyes back to the starting match, his face not betraying any emotion at seeing his girlfriend about to fight.

"Begin!" coughs Hayate.

"Go Tenten! Come on Tenten!" shouts Lee.  
"You've got the power of youth!" hollers Gai-sensei.  
"You can do it! Send that girl back to her village on a stretcher! We believe in you!"  
"2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?"  
I want to scream at them to shut up. The tension is so thick I could eat it. My body is frozen stiff just by watching those two girls glaring at each other.  
I like them both and they are both really cool, so I can't pick a side. They met last night, in the game of Never Have I Ever. I doubt it would change anything for them though. When it comes to battles, ninja are all about business.

"Huh. You waiting for me to make a move? Big mistake: the first move I make will be the last one you see. I don't want the match to end too quickly so why don't you go first? Come, show me what you got. You don't want to look like chicken in front of _him_." Temari smirks, nodding her head toward Neji, who narrows his eyes at her.  
Wow, that was mean of her. I guess that getting into your opponent's head is fun for them.  
It works for a second as Tenten sends her a furious glare. Then, she re-composed herself and smiles.  
"OK, you asked for it!"

The next thing that happens is Tenten flying up into the sky like an effing faerie and a flash of shiny silver streaks rushing towards Temari. For a moment, I actually believe that the Suna kunoichi was done for, skewered, slashed by Tenten's shuriken. That throw was so amazingly accurate, so fast, there was no way that she could have evaded it. I expect blood.  
But the air around Temari's body vibrates and the weapons end up clattering to her side.

"I missed her? There's no way..." cries Tenten, horrified.  
Lee and Gai are both dumbstruck and Neji suddenly starts looking a little concerned. 'Bout time lover boy.  
"What was that? A warm up? Or maybe you're to distracted by your boyfriend..."  
"This is a fight between you and me! Let's keep it that way." huffs the Weapon Mistress, looking pissed, but once again she puts her poker face back on. Man, she's good.  
"If that's what you want, fine. But I'm still waiting for the fight." sniggers Temari.

Tenten stops for a moment, sees Temari reach for her fan, then runs around her.  
She then does another epic jump, grabs a scroll and swirls it around her, spinning super fast.  
_How the effing hell does she do that? What about gravity?_ _What about Newton?_  
Nothing goes in slow motion though, so in the next fraction of a second more weapons are flying towards the blond.  
Naturally, Temari swished them away with her fan. Tenten lands and gasps.  
"Not even one of them hit you!"  
"Nope. See my fan?" She shows the other girl the purple circle on her weapon. "There are two more moons like this. When you see all three, you'll know that you've lost."

Tenten then fishes out two more scrolls and repeats the whole process again, except this time there are two huge wind dragons that fly up, scaring the shit out of Ryo and I. We jump away from the side of the balcony and stay with our backs plastered to the back wall.  
"Ow." I hear my teammate mutter, holding his arm. "I think I tore one puncture open again."  
I hold him by the arm and heal him up again, then I don't let go, because I'm too absorbed by the match.

When her attack fails, Tenten tried it again by jumping up, making the weapons float in mid-air then crash back down towards Temari.  
When she lands on the floor and sees her opponent unharmed, I can see the look on her face. She knows that she lost but she is still desperately trying to look for a way to beat the Suna genin.  
Said genin suddenly disappears in a swoop of her fan.  
_This is uncanny..._  
More like terrifying! People don't just disappear! It's freaky!  
_Welcome to a parade of freaks... Then again, teleporting is sort of like disappearing, hypocrite._  
Urg, why does this little voice in my head come back at the worst times? I thought that I finally got rid of it months ago...  
Oh, Temari is right there! On her fan! I wish I could fly like these girls...

The Suna girl lands with a smirk on her face.  
"Wind Scythe Jutsu!" she shouts, before she commands her fan to make a violent, sharp tornado so that she can slice Tenten bits.  
The Weapon Mistress' face contorts in pain but the sound of her scream is overwhelmed by the loud whooshing on the tornado.

"Tenten-san..." I gasp. My eyes widen in horror and disgust when Temari lets her land with a loud thunk on her folded fan. The unconscious girl spits out a mouthful of blood. I cover my mouth. "Thank goodness that Yuuki-chan didn't stay..."  
"I was just thinking that too..." murmurs Ryo, not betraying much emotion at seeing one of our friends indifferently make our other friend hack chunks of her insides out. I shiver at the look in his eyes. A little sad, but accepting of the situation. Will I get that look once I find out what it's like to fight for your life? To attack someone and really mean to kill them? I do understand that Tenten's condition could be far, far worse. But still...

"Winner of the sixth match... Temari!"

Lee jumps into the arena to catch his teammate's body when Temari chucks it away.  
"Nice catch..." she smirks. Oh my god, is this the same girl that I shared multiple baths with? That played a prank on Yuuki and I? No... This is her in ninja mode. Or... most probably... This is what she is usually like and I had the rare honor of seeing her in vacation mode.  
"What's wrong with you?" hollers Lee, voicing my thoughts. "That's no way to treat a worthy opponent! That's no way to treat _any_ person!"  
"Oh, shut up. It's not like she's your girlfriend. If anyone, lady-boy over there should be the one getting mad, not you. He can keep his emotions under control though, unlike some people." laughs Temari.

Lee growls and round-kicks her face. Unfortunately, she blocks it.  
Gai-sensei calls Lee off, so the green clad ninja sighs and backs off the Suna girl.  
"Temari... Get back up here! You've already won... How long do you intend to waste your time on that pathetic loser?" says Gaara.  
Gai-sensei defends Lee, but I am too busy glaring at the redhead to listen. Sure, I love him to a frikkin' million bits, but Lee is not a loser, and I feel like shouting that to his face. Sure, he is... eccentric. But he protected Tenten. Lee is a hero. He did something that even... even _Neji_ didn't do. I redirect my glare towards the Hyuga. He senses my gaze and our eyes meet. He looks a little taken aback, but just narrows his eyes angrily and looks away.  
I think that I've just earned myself another hater. I hope that Tenten re-arranges his gorgeous face later for letting Temari treat her like crap.

"Who's next? I hope that it's me!" announced Lee, hopping up to the balcony, landing next to me.  
"Lee, no matter what anyone says, you're awesome." I tell him outright, since I'm too stressed to do otherwise. "Remember it. This world lacks kindhearted ninja like you."  
He smiles, then groans when the huge screen beeps.

_Nara Shikamaru vs. Tsuchi Kin_

"Aw man!" he straightens up again. "Himeko-chan... I will a great ninja some day but I will never become a cold tool, I promise you that."  
"I've never seen you fight but I'm sure that you are already a great ninja." I smile back, pulling my hair back when it falls in front of my eyes. Suddenly, Lee grabs my hand and holds it away from my face. I freeze in fear because, even if Lee is a sweet guy, I know that his strong hand could easily crush my bones to bits.  
OK, now that's just paranoia.  
"Himeko-chan, what happened?" he asks. I pull my hand away and touch the bruise on my neck. I forgot that I was hiding it.  
"Oh, this? Let's say that it was my first taste of the shinobi world. It's nothing, I just bruise easily, that's all." I shrug. "I got in a fight with Abumi-san. The guy that got his arms blown up by Shino-kun."

"_You_ got in a fight?" asks Naruto incredulously. I nearly hit him.  
_Why? It's not his fault for judging! You do seem pretty weak at first glance._  
"Yes, I did. If you didn't notice, I have a short fuse and so did Abumi-san. I kinda accidentally punched his face in the Forest of Death. He isn't very forgiving."  
"Hm..." Sakura nearly scares the shit out of me. "Really? You survived a fight with that Sound Ninja? He's so strong..."  
I think about it.  
"In his defense, I kinda cheated. But it was to literally save my neck so... all's fair in love and war. And I actually mean the 'war' part this time."

"Woah... That's freaky Himeko-chan." shivers Naruto. "This isn't war. Since when do you say stuff like that?"  
"Since I saw my teammate fighting for his life for the sole purpose of an exam and others' entertainment." I snap, then feel bad when Naruto, Sakura and Lee give me a long look. "I'm sorry. I'm nervous. I didn't have my match yet."

Naruto and Lee both nod in understanding since they were waiting for their turn too. Unlike me, though, they were excited.  
I start to watch Shikamaru's match. Since I'm not physically strong enough to knock someone out with my kungfu, which is pitiful compared to these ninjas' skills, I need to rely on my brain for this one. Who else is a better example than Shikamaru Nara?

Kin is throwing sendon with bells attached to them at him, that he ducks. However, she had attached a string to the bell so she continues to ring it, distracting Shikamaru. She then throws more senbon at him.  
"I know how to avoid your shadow! You don't stand a chance!" shouts the girl, laughing. Then, she freezes. Busted.  
"Time to deploy my shadow possession technique..." smirks Nara, standing up on shaky legs.  
"What? How? Your shadow is nowhere in sight!" cries Kin.  
"You still don't get it, don't you?" replied Shikamaru, then a look of horror dawns on the Oto-nin's face. "You idiot! Such delicate little threads, so high up... There's no way they could cast shadows! Whereas I can make my own shadow as big as I wish... or as small... within limits."

His shadow then spreads to completely capture Kin's body. Shikamaru takes out a shuriken and is mimicked by his opponent.  
"Don't be a fool! If we're like this, any injury done to me will hurt you too!" she hollers, trying to resist Shikamaru's jutsu, shaking in terror, but it's seems so strong. I feel bad for her, for just a tiny second. Not being able to control your body... what a nightmare...  
"I know... I know..." smiles Shikamaru innocently, chucking a shuriken at her. "I aimed it at your head so I doubt you'll hold up long."

"No! You idiot!" shouts Kin, but her face relaxed for a moment when she sees him duck and she mimics his movement.  
There is a sickening bang when her head connects with the wall behind her.  
Shikamaru chuckles and does a flip to get back onto his hands.  
"Heheh.. A shinobi uses everything to his advantage... including terrain and architecture as well. You were locked into the same movement as I... But only one of us was close enough to the wall to give herself a concussion. The shuriken were just a distraction."

"The winner is... Shikamaru Nara!" coughs Hayate.  
Well, that was a much faster match than Temari's and Tenten's one. He's a freaking genius.  
Don't get distracted... Stay aware of you surroundings... Use distractions to your advantage... He should be a freaking sensei. Or should write it all down for me.  
I get a mental light bulb and grab a pen out of my scroll then scribble a few words on my wrist. I write in French so that no one can understand what it says. I don't want to be taken for an idiot.  
"Seriously?" Ryo shakes his head in disbelief. Then sighs. "He handles being stabbed by senbon way better than me."  
"Your ones were poisoned. Plus, he's a full fledged ninja. We're just stowaways. I'm still shocked you even managed to escape a shinobi battle in one piece." I whisper to him, smiling a bit when he grins at me.

"Well, it's about time!" suddenly shouts Naruto. "Thanks for being patient, everyone! I'm gonna make this worth your wait!"  
Ryo and I both look at the screen.

_Uzumaki Naruto vs. Inuzuka Kiba_

"Oh yesss! Thank you! Thank you! We can take this guy, Akamaru!" hollers Kiba, receiving a bark in reply.

"Man, those two are both really noisy and hyper." groans Ryo, rubbing the spot between his eyes.  
"Good luck Naruto-kun!" I smile, patting Naruto on the back. He grins and gives me a thumbs up.

The two contestants meet in the center of the arena.  
"Next round!" coughs Hayate. "Uzumaki Naruto versus Inuzuka Kiba!"  
The two boys start talking shit about each other.  
"We lucked out, Akamaru, this fight is as good as won!" chuckles the dog-nin.  
"Don't be so cocky you jerk!" hollers Naruto. "Hey, Kiba, send your little puppy back home or he'll get in the way!"  
"No way! I never go into a fight without Akamaru!" replied Kiba. I wonder... How come these ninjas know each other so badly even if they spent part of their childhood together at the academy? Oh, right, shinobi don't socialize...  
"Aw, man! Is that even allowed?" whines the blond.  
"Animals and insects used as part of a ninja art are the same as any other weapons or tools." shrugs Hayate.  
And the two boys continue chatting...

Man... Why do ninjas talk so much before fighting? Don't they want to just get it over with?  
_No... They like it. Even the kindest of them such as Naruto and Lee are completely OK with the idea of __hurting people... Even Ryo... You're actually the only one here that is still uncomfortable with that. Yah know that you'll never win a match without bloodshed..._  
I know... I know...  
Oh, shoot, I should stop zoning out so much and focus on matches... Even if it's pointless half of the time since I can't use even their basic ninjustsu. Thank goodness my team has got our strange power, or we would be done for in this world.

Oh, the room is silent, I'll focus now.  
"Well, then... Begin!" announces the proctor.  
Kiba gets down on all fours, grows claws because of his special technique and rams into Naruto. Wow, that was incredible. He was so fast it almost seemed as if he teleported.  
There is a moment of silence and Naruto doesn't stir.  
People start muttering.  
"I knew it." sighs Shikamaru.  
"There's no way a loser like Naruto could ever stand up to Kiba!" Ino shakes her head.  
"That was embarrassing..." Lee looks horrified.  
"What was that? I blinked and it was over!" laughs Kankuro.  
Sakura and Kakashi, however, wink at each other and I grin when I see Naruto starting to move. He's a freaking tank to have survive a ton of Kiba muscle, but there he is.  
"Not yet." I chuckle, making the puppet-nin look at me and raise a purple painted eyebrow. I point at Naruto and mouth: "He's not finished. Not even close."

The knucklehead ninja stands up. Everyone is shocked into silence.  
"Don't ever underestimate me!" he calls out.  
Most of the rookies and Lee start cheering for him.

"You should look at yourself in a mirror! You're a mess!" yells Kiba angrily, probably because he didn't heroically take Naruto down in one move.  
"Hah! I was just checking what you've got! And frankly you hit like an old lady! You might as well send that puppy in to fight for you!" laughs Naruto cockily.  
This ticks Kiba off and he throws smoke grenades at Naruto. Part of the arena is then filled with fluffy purple clouds that smell of burning plastic.  
Naruto emerges from one side of the smoke, only to be bitten by Akamaru and shoved back.

The clouds poof away and we see Naruto lying there, with a cheerful looking puppy by his side.  
"We did it! Nice! Good one Aka-"  
Kiba is interrupted when his beloved dog noisily chomps his arm. The dog-nin is mortified but the expression turns into a glare when his puppy turns into his opponent.  
"I let my guard down! Where's Akamaru?" hollers the Inuzuka.  
While the Naruto latching onto his arm starts spitting dramatically, the other one picks up the ninja dog by the legs. Part of me shivers thinking of what the SPCA would do to him if they saw this, but the other part laughs at the look on the blond boy's face.  
"Ew! You taste like dog!" he groans. Tsk, he knows what dog tastes like?

Everyone chuckles at Naruto's weirdness.  
"I guess you've gotten stronger eh? This time, I'm not holding back!" growls the dog-nin.  
"Oh, yeah! Right back atcha!" smirks his opponent.

Kiba suddenly throws Akamaru drugs and takes some himself. In a moment, the cute little puppy turns into a vicious beast with rust colored fur. Kiba goes from a cute guy to a scary ninja with claws and vampire teeth who looks totally high on crack.  
"Ninja art of beast mimicry!"  
Akamaru jumps onto his master's back and transforms into him.  
"Great, one was freaky enough..." sighs Ryo.

"The look in his eyes is crazy! Like he's hopped up on something! Isn't that like doping? Is that even allowed?" gasps Naruto, turning his head towards the proctor.  
"Military ration pellets are acceptable ninja tools." shrugs Hayate.  
"You always say that!" whines the knucklehead.  
Beside me, Asuma-sensei goes on a detailed explanation about the pills, but I'm too focused on the match to listen to him. Anyways, the concept is clear: Kiba and Akamaru are now super beast ninjas.

The duo jumps Naruto and chaos ensures. There are shouts of pain, thin sprays of blood, smashes, bangs, bits of the floor flying everywhere, an orange and two grey blobs bouncing around the arena.  
After about thirty seconds of watching Naruto getting beating up, I feel as if I'm going to be sick. Painful. This looks so painful. Oh god, Naruto-kun...  
He falls on the floor with a sickening thud, blood flying from his mouth as his face contorts in agony.  
There is a moment of horrible silence and I see Hinata squeeze her eyes shut and cover her mouth with her hand. I bite my lip but, before I can feel bad for the blond ninja some more, he stirs. What is he, immortal?  
_Maybe eating only ramen is the key to immortality?_

"I-I'm gonna... Be Hokage... I won't lose now..." he coughs.  
"You? Hokage? You can't even beat me! No one's deluded enough to think you really have what it takes to become the Hokage... Not even you! Tell you what..." Kiba smirks. "I'll become Hokage in your place!"

There is a whole lot of tension in the room, but I relax and smile when Naruto starts getting up.  
"He's incredible..." I whisper, starting to feel emotional. My teammate pats me on the back.  
"He sure is. He's my inspiration." he grins

"If you come between me and the title of Hokage..." Naruto starts raising his head towards Kiba and I can almost hear the epic music in the background "... you'll whimper like a whipped dog!"  
The dog-nin frowns and points at the blond angrily.  
"Geez... You're a stubborn one, aren't you?" he smirks cockily. "Let's go Akamaru!"  
The two Kibas run towards Naruto on all fours. They attack him with the same move as earlier, but Naruto barely manages to dodge them this time.

After a few more seconds of crazy ninjas spinning, bouncing and crashing onto the ground, Naruto uses a transformation jutsu to look like Kiba. There are a couple moments of confusion.  
"A word of warning..." says one of the three Kibas. "I was careless before, but now I'm on to you. Your art of transformation trick no longer works on me. Here's why..."  
The ninja who spoke punches another in the face.  
"... I can smell you! Never underestimate a canine olfactory acuity!"

The Kiba lying on the floor moans in pain, then turns into Akamaru. Ah, right, nice one Naruto.  
"No! Akamaru!" hollers the boy that I presume to be the real Kiba. He looks at the body of his best friend lying on the floor and his eyes glaze over in pain and fury. He turns around and punches the other Kiba in the face.  
"You must be mocking me!"  
The ninja he just punched turns into Akamaru as well. Fooled.

The first Akamaru turns into Naruto, who jumps up and quickly kicks Kiba in the face, making the dog-nin hack up a mouthful of blood. I can't help the shiver running through my spine. It gets more disgusting every time. What is with making people vomit blood? If it happens to me, I don't know how I'll react...  
Everybody seems super impressed by Naruto's trick.  
"You jerk!" cried Kiba, his shaking hand stretching towards his puppy.

"Heh! Before you start throwing techniques around, you should really think about their consequences. Otherwise they'll just be used against you!" grins Naruto. Hm... For once, he made a very intelligent point. I add that to the notes on my wrist.  
Kiba glares and bites his knuckle the same way I bit mine to stop myself from glomping Gaara when I first met him. The ninja stands up and focuses on his prey... opponent, probably trying to cook up a plan in his mind.

"Well... There's a new killer move that I've been practicing that should end this fast!" announces the blond. Sakura and Lee start talking about how amazing that is.  
Naruto forms a hand sign and Kiba attacks him. The dog-nin throws shuriken at the knucklehead and jumps behind him. Ryo and I tense up as we watch this intense battle.  
Then Naruto farts. Loudly.

Ryo and I face palm. This is seriously embarrassing, even to watch...  
Everyone in the room, especially Hinata-chan, looks absolutely mortified. Kiba shrieks in agony and stumbles around the arena clutching his nose.  
"A sense of smell tens of thousands time stronger than usual, I think." mumbles my teammate, rubbing the spot between his eyebrows again.  
"Ouch. Poor Kiba. Naruto has probably not been eating particularly healthy the past few days either so that would make it worse..." I bite my lip, trying not to laugh.

"Rats! I didn't mean it! But now... It's time for me to start showing you my new move!" calls out Naruto, making a few hand signs. Suddenly, there are 5 of him. "All right! It's time to repay all the abuse I've taken up 'til now!"

The Narutos run at Kiba then kick him around in the air.  
_What the crapola? Newton? Gravity? Urg, nevermind..._  
"U-ZU-MA-KI Naruto barrage!" he shouts, smashing his ex-classmate onto the ground.  
There is a long silence before Hayate walks over to the dog-nin, feels his neck for a pulse, then coughs.  
"The winner is... Naruto Uzumaki!"

Everyone starts cheering like mad but Ryo and I just clap softly. We couldn't really celebrate the fact that Kiba was lying in a little pool of his own blood.  
I watch Hinata as she gives Naruto some ointment. I can't help but smile. It's so obvious that she is neck deep in her crush, judging by the way she stammers, blushes and shuffles around Naruto. He's simply too dense to see it.  
I sigh.  
_You're both on the same boat, except for the fact that your guy is a psycho murderer._  
I know, I know, don't rub it in. Besides, things might change in the future. He will hopefully stop being so evil. I love him. I really do. Maybe...  
_Maybe what? Do you really realize what you're asking for? Imagine, if you ever get with him, your children are going to be little gingers with half of their genetic code from a crazy, obsessive, crappy tempered mother and the other half of their genetic code from... that..._  
I look over to Gaara, who is glaring holes at the opposite wall for no reason.  
I slap my hand over my mouth. Any hypothetical kids we have would be messed up. But... But... I totally want effed up ginger kids with Gaara! They'd be so cute! I would so-...  
Wait, what the hell am I thinking about?  
I start punching myself in the head.  
Little children can be cute, but I don't want any! I'm thirteen and Gaara is a crazy psycho ninja would probably never, ever love me...  
My head drops at that realization.  
"Damn it..." I moan.

"Watcha thinking about now, crazy pants-chan?" grins Ryo, poking me in the face.  
"Nothing. Something stupid. No, wait, I was thinking about how much Hinata-chan loves Naruto-kun and how dense he is. It's sad, really. She really makes efforts to talk to him." I reply.  
The Hyuga girl is currently giving her teammate some ointment as well. The huge screen beeps, announcing the next match.

_Hyuga Hinata vs Hyuga Neji_

Hinata's eyes widen in terror and she glances at her cousin, who glares blankly at her. However, I can almost hear the evil laugh in his head and he calmly starts walking down the stairs, into the arena.  
I bite my lip. Neji looks as if he is going to rip her to shreds! If Tenten was here, she would give her boyfriend a long lesson on how to treat a girl, especially a cousin, but since the Weapon Mistress is currently in the emergency ward of Konoha hospital...  
"Aw... Hinata-chan is going to end up Neji-san's main course." sighs Ryo, voicing my thoughts exactly.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it! This is dragging out soooo much... Once the preliminaries (another two chapters max I think) are over, there will be a few mini arcs, then the chuunin exams (urg, I'm 4 years behind the manga in story time...), then a couple time skips with important events, arcs and stuff put in. The chuunin exam arc is pretty important and detailed because that's where the OCs come in and establish their relationships with the main characters. And also because, with my brain, I can write nine pages about only ten minutes of story time. I know that the prelims shouldn't be that interesting to read because you all know how they turn out, but it's the main character's thoughts that are important. Rather important.  
I'll try to update sooner (much sooner) next time! Please review (if you want)! It was my birthday (last month)! Remember to check out my friends' fanfics (their pen-name is in the first author's note) and give them some advice, praise...  
Happy life and continuation people!  
Peace, love, and more effing love,  
XOXO ~~ HimekoUchia (FINALLY!)**


	35. Akatsuki: The Beauty of Language

**The Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 5: The Beauty of Language  
HimekoUchia: Yeah I'm late for the Easter update, apologies... I had to update my other story and I've started self-teaching myself Russian (because the language, country, people and Hetalia character are cool). The other story is almost finished and, once it's done, I'll focus on this one and permit myself to writing random one-shots... But I really should be making study notes for my Brevet (French GCSE) or writing for essay contests instead XD.  
Ryo: She doesn't own anything. Not Naruto. Nor any movie she references. Or animals. She only owns her dreams, which she actually did dream, as usual. No deep meaning or anything (or maybe it means that miss authoress is crazy).  
HimekoUchia: Oh! I recently realized out that I actually have a Japanese schoolmate called Ryo. I think that that's probably where I got the name from, actually. My Ryo character isn't based off of him though, just the name...  
Yuuki: You got my name off Google... -_-  
HimekoUchia: Yeah, that's true. WARNING: the language up ahead will make all the wood elves and water fairies cry... It's probably M rated material but, since it's only associated to scenes with Hidan, I guess it's understandable. Plus, later on in the chapter, there is Hidan talking gore. Very gore.  
**

* * *

_Recap: The trio are in the Akatsuki base some undetermined time after the chuunin exams. They have just met the Zombie Brothers and it didn't go so well. Hidan tried to kill Himeko and Ryo saved her butt. Sasori distracted Hidan long enough for them to escape. Pinocchio was lost. The trio get Kisame and Kakuzu's autograph. Walking back to their room after dinner, they run into Hidan._

* * *

_Last Chapter:  
Man, Hidan is ever more terrifying when illuminated only by torches in a dark staircase, and his steps bring him closer and he reaches for his scythe.  
"Just standing there like three little pigs." He smiles. "Jashin-sama will be happy."_

* * *

"Himeko..." cries Yuuki, eyes wide in fear, starting to shake slightly. She has never been this close to this man before. Ryo and I step protectively in front of her.  
Hidan smiles.  
"You three are just so fucking cute. Protecting each other and shit. This will make killing you one by one in front of each other so much more fun! Don't bother running... I'll just follow you until you three are fucking six feet under!"

"Himeko... I don't have any ideas..." growls Ryo in my ear. "I'll fight this guy off if I have to but I won't let him kill us."  
I gulped and touch his arm, racking my brains. I can simply feel the pressure on my shoulders. Sometimes, it sucks being a talkative smarty-pants when it gets really serious. I did proclaim myself leader of my squad, though, so I will take my responsibility.

Hidan swings his scythe at us and we jump down a few steps to avoid the sharp blade. We don't stop backing up.  
"Oops, I missed." he smirks.  
Taking another step back, I miss the step and slip, scratching my knee on the stairs.  
"Himeko!" I hear Yuuki shout, but it's too late.  
Taking advantage of my mess up, Hidan grabs me by the shirt and smashes me against the wall.  
"Piggy number one..." he sings, raising his weapon.

Looking into his evil eyes, I open my mouth.  
"Let me down you fucking piece of camel shit!"  
Yuuki gasps and Ryo is rooted to spot, his jaw hanging in horror.  
Hidan is staring at me, hopefully wowed by my creativity. Unfortunately, he grins sadistically again.  
"The redheaded bitch has got a dirty tongue for a lady. I think I'll rip it out of you head."  
"I'm the bitch? The only bitch here is you! Only a pathetic pussy muffin excuse of an adult man would pick on a nice, sweet and polite girl like me!" I snap back, kicking madly. The fear is making me crazy.  
Hidan looks taken aback at my reply, then he looks pissed.  
"Not even a little stupid, retarded ginger cunt can talk to me like that!"

Ryo and Yuuki suddenly don't look as scared anymore. They make a 'ooooooh, somebody's going to get their ass kicked for calling Himeko stupid' face.  
And damn they're right.  
"I. Am. Not. Stupid!" I hiss. "I am a fucking level 1000 Confucius genius compare to you! Even your insults are _generic_!"  
"Me? Generic insults?" gasps Hidan. "You obviously forgot who you were talking to, you deep-throating ten dollar whore!"  
"Ooooooooh, is that the best you can do? I'm soooo offended! Why don't you crawl back into your mama's uterus and come back out a MAN you dickless old fart!" I holler, no longer thinking before dishing out the darker side of my vocabulary. The Jashinist shoves me harder against the wall and I clench my teeth when I feel the skin on my back breaking and the wire mesh under my clothes scratching my chest. I can't shield myself when I'm this focused on something else. And my friends seem too captivated to care and they are watching Hidan and I like people watch an epic 3D movie.

"You fucking witch!"  
"You kitten raping, koala humping, monkey sucking pervert!"  
"You repulsive stripper bitch!"  
"You fugly, toad faced, man boob groping, period drinking monster!"  
"You fat, pole-dancing fire crotch!"  
"Get your huge, cellulite sporting, hippopotamus butt out of my face!"  
"Stop breathing on me you garlic smelling gold-digger!"  
"You Caramelldansen hater! You sunflower stomping pedophile! You sashimi shitting dolphin banger!"

Hidan suddenly drops me on the ground with a thunk, eyes widening.  
"That... that's..." I shuffle back from the psychopathic man, preparing myself for the scythe. "... that's fucking genius! I'm sooooo using that one on Kisame!"  
Ryo rushes towards us and pulls me away from the wall and the grinning, absolutely deranged man. I make a face when I start feeling the burning pain on my back.  
My adrenaline is wearing off and I now feel pretty tired. I'm still not used to ninja confrontations, especially with evil S-ranked criminals, but I since I have already participated in the chuunin exams, I guess that I can stand my ground better than, for example, Yuuki, who is tightly holding the back of Ryo's shirt, looking as if she is going to cry. In her defense, if I haven't been face to face with death before, I would probably be passed out in fear right now or freaking out over how much my body hurts. But thanks to those nasty exams, I've had much, much worse...

I eye Hidan, who is gleaming in the torchlight. He looks like a constipated Dracula.  
"How do you make up swears like that?" he asks me seriously.  
"... I-I just use as many random words as possible." I frown. "How is that impressive? You haven't even heard me swear in different languages yet."  
"You can speak many languages?" he looks confused. Do I look that stupid to him or something?  
"Not really. Just swear." I can speak more than one language, but he doesn't need to know that until I see where this is going.

"Give me an example." he huffs.  
"Ta gueule chieur." I say softly. "Excuse my French..."  
He raises a silver eyebrow.  
"That sounds beautiful. What does it mean?"  
What's wrong with him? I nearly choke. Did Hidan just use the word 'beautiful'? Or maybe that sugar I added into my instant noodles was crack... Wait, I mean salt, not sugar... Who puts sugar into instant noodles?  
"It means something like... 'shut the eff up, you piss off'." I answer, shivering when I feel a warm drop of water dripping down my back. Wait, is that blood? Oh my god...  
"That language sounds so fucking nice nobody could ever tell if you wear insulting them or not..." he muses. I nod.  
"Try walking up the stairs. Maybe he might not try to kill us anymore..." I mentally say to my teammates.

Just as I was about to wiggle past, Hidan stabs his scythe into the wall so that I am at eye level with the handle of his weapon.  
"Not so fast bitch. I still hate your guts, want them spilled and offered to Jashin-sama as a midnight snack." I feel my blood freeze. "However... The ability to piss off these other Akatsuki members, or to insult Kakuzu without having my head torn off every time... Tempting, bitch, tempting..."  
I feel my nerves twist into knot. Ryo pulls me away from Hidan's scythe.  
"Well..." he coughs. "All three of us can swear in French and English, plus each of us are fluent in different languages... So if you don't kill us, your potty mouth repertoire could easily triple... Jashin-sama would probably appreciate your diversity of vocabulary when sacrificing someone..."

The silver haired man smirks evilly.  
"I like the sound of that, boy. And maybe not killing prisoners and avoiding Pein's rinnengan wouldn't be such a shitty idea for once." he pulls his scythe out of the wall. I manage not to gulp when the shiny blade grazes my forehead. "Well, I've got shit to do... See you around, piggies. Remember, I'm really not so fucking scared of the boss's freaky eyes, so if you piss me off too much..." He grabs a lock of my hair and draws a line across my throat with is. He is so close I can smell him. Blood. "A slow and painful death."  
He slings his weapon over his shoulder and stomps down the staircase.

We wait a few seconds until he is out of sight then I grab my friends' arms and squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to mentally cool down.  
Up the swirly staircase, fourth floor, seventh door on the left, wooden door, safe room...  
I open my eyes and stare at my bed. Thank goodness for teleportation.

"Jesus, I can't believe he left us alive..." moans Yuuki, sitting onto her bed. "And that he is considering to actually not try to murder us... For now."  
Ryo and I deflate our fear and grin.  
"Triple high five!" I call out, putting my hands out to receive the slaps. I get them.  
I turn around to place my katana on the table and I hear a gasp. I spin around in alarm, wondering what horrible monster had entered out little happy place.  
"Himeko-chan..." gasps Yuuki, hiding her face in her hands. "Your back! There's blood on it... I'll-I'll go get a towel in the bathroom... or something."  
She walks into the separate room and closes the door behind her.

Ryo sighs.  
"Since you can't really reach the back I'll heal yah. Where does it hurt?" he says, in his usual, warm, calm voice.  
"I think that my wire mesh shirt cut my back. And the top of my chest where his fists were shoving me." I answer, trying to push the pain out of my mind. "Turn around Ryo-kun."  
He does and I slowly peel off my shirt and wire mesh, making a gagging face at the raw cut I can feel on my skin. Could have been worse.  
I sit on the bed with my back facing my teammate.  
"You can turn around now."  
"Are you sure? You're not-..."  
"I'm wearing a bra. What, do you think I'd actually sit in a room half naked with a dude?" I chuckle.

Ryo sits on the bed behind me and I can feel the soothing feeling of our healing jutsu flowing over my back.  
"How bad?" I question, tying my hair up in a ponytail to make his job easier.  
"Not too bad. Deep scratches at worst. I still don't get how you, with the ability to teleport and a seemingly impenetrable shield, always ends up with wounds, cuts and bruises."  
"It could be my bad, ginger luck?"  
"Or it could be the fact that your such a reckless person?"  
"Or it could be my bad, ginger luck?  
"Nope, I'm pretty sure you're just reckless."  
"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's just bad, ginger luck."  
"Himeko. You're too reckless."

I stare at the corner of the room for a minute, trying to find patterns in the dust on the wall. I can see a circle, a trapezoid and a wolverine. And a dead centipede on the floor.  
"... or it could be my bad, ginger luck?"  
"..." I hear Ryo facepalm. "... sure. I guess it's that."  
I laugh then groan when I feel my chest hurt. I look down and see cuts and another bruise forming from when Hidan's fists dug into the top of my ribcage. Great, one on my shoulder and now one between my tits. Ryo's right. I'm far too reckless. I always manage to get myself out of trouble but half of the time I end up in bad shape. I sigh and heal the wounds on the front of my body.  
"I have a bruise between my boobies. Wanna see?"  
"... I'm seriously gonna gag you, Himeko-chan."  
"No! I don't want another bruise. I-..."  
"Do you have an off button?"  
"No, only a repeat forever button! So, do yah?"

A sharp, raw, painful feeling attacks my back.  
"AAAACCKKKK!" I cry. "Ryo! What the hell? You can't just poke my cuts!"  
"Sorry. I was looking for the off button."  
"Sheesh! I was kidding you know! Don't have to be so sadistic." I huff. "Just heal me please. I don't want to end up looking like a broken piñata because of badly healed scars."  
My friend snorts and laughs a bit.  
"You just encountered Hidan and you think that _I'm_ sadistic? Where did you get that from?"

The bathroom door opens and in comes Yuuki with a towel, covering her eyes.  
"Tell me when there is no more blood." She slowly hands me a towel (almost shoving it in my mouth because she can't see) which I use to clean up any blood and let Ryo do the same. I then look at the fabric to see how big any stains are. Meh, not too bad.  
"Did it heal properly?" I ask..  
"You know the drill Himeko-chan. Since the cuts weren't too deep, our jutsu fused the skin back together properly." he replies.  
"Thanks doc. I think that I'll wear a tank top or something under the wire mesh to avoid being diced every time I get shoved against a wall." I point out.  
"That would be advisable." he nods.

So, after a few more minutes of me changing my pajama top since the last one got bloodied, teeth brushing and best friends for life gossiping, we snuggle up and go to bed.

* * *

"I was a vampire and so was my history teacher. I ninja kicked the back of his head to kill him. Then, I rode a mine cart all the way across Tibet and arrive at this weird, uphill forest with barriers around it and a downhill shallow river/waterfall through it. Sasuke was outside the forest, horrified because Naruto and other innocent people were kidnapped by a sexy vampire chic who was turning them into statues to sell to billionaire vampires. I found the victims strung up like ham inside tree houses. I helped a few of them, including Naruto, but most were already dead, because she paralyzed them with poison. Them she started chasing me to kill me! I hid, called Ino, Temari and Sakura to dress up as sexy cheerleaders to distract the vampire girl 'cause it turns out she was a lesbian vampire. So while she was distracted, I helped more people then we killed her. Then, we all waterslided down the river to the exit. That part was fun, even if the rocks kept poking my ass."

Ryo slams his head down on the breakfast table and starts shaking with laughter. Yuuki takes this opportunity to put a handful of dried seaweed flakes into his hair.  
"I no longer want to sleep in the same room as you, psycho." she deadpans.  
Ryo finally lifts his face (red on the forehead, because he smashed it onto the table) and shakes the food out of his hair.  
"Your dreams get crazier every time, if that's even possible." he chuckles. "I sure hope that they don't foretell the future or else that means that... Naruto will be kidnapped by a... a sexy hobo lesbian vampire Medusa..."

"I always tend to dream weird when under stress and you know it. So, since we've invited ourselves into this world, I've been racking up stress points and the Zombie Brothers aren't helping." I whisper, because when we got up (survived the night! Yay!), got changed and came down for breakfast, most of the Akatsuki were probably training and we didn't want to disturb them. Well, the training grounds were outside but I'm pretty sure I heard Sasori polishing his puppets, Deidara making more clay, Hidan sharpening his scythe and Kakuzu counting his money. So, in other words, we didn't want to get noticed too early in the morning.

We finish eating, wash our dishes and are about to leave the room when we hear voices on the other side of the door.  
"... sure we can't just fucking kill them now? The boss doesn't even have to know they were here." That's definitely Hidan. My friends and I exchange embarrassed looks for accidentally eavesdropping, but since we started, we can't stop.  
"Think Pein-sama wouldn't know they were here, hm? Of course he'll know." sighs Deidara. "Besides, they haven't tried to escape yet, so they aren't really that annoying, hm."  
"Not as annoying as you brat, that's for sure." deadpans Sasori.  
"They are just young." says Itachi before the two artists can get into a row. "It's just unlucky for them that they came across the base in the first place."

"Last night, one of them told me they were on a survival mission." I recognize Kakuzu's voice. "I checked in an updated bingo book, and their names don't appear, so it should be true. They aren't rogues."  
"Ah, yes. Konohagakure does have those types of missions. They sometimes do this when they have ninja from unknown villages trying to join their ranks. To eliminate weak or disloyal shinobi, they send then out on a 'survival mission'. They have to survive for at least a few days in the forest filled with wild animals, thieves and rogues. They sometimes even send out their disguised shinobi to attack them. If they return, then it proves their strength and the fact that they wouldn't just leave the village if they get a chance. They probably expected these three kids to die in a matter of hours." informs Itachi. I frown. So, that's the truth about our mission? That's kind of... dark and extreme. Then again, so are the chuunin exams. Sadistic bastards, these ninjas.  
"And if they disappear, then they are presumed dead or defected. Since they were rogues to begin with, Konoha doesn't really care. Unless those people knew too much." adds Zetsu. I can't tell if it's the white or black one talking.

"What do you think Pein-sama will do with them?" asks Kisame.  
"I hope he lets them stay." comes Sasori's voice.  
My brain does a double take and goes on fast forward. Why? Why does he want us here? Why did he keep us alive all this time? Why did he teach me puppet making? Let me call him sempai?  
"They show great potential." he eventually reveals. "If they continued training and improving those special techniques of theirs', they will become quite valuable on the battle ground. Hopefully, once they reach the peak of their power or if they die prematurely, Leader-sama will let me keep their bodies for puppets. That's why I would rather you not kill them or keep them locked up. We wouldn't be able to learn anything about their strengths or weaknesses if they were in a dungeon. By letting them out, we already know that they are fast, undetectable teleporters."

My blood freezes and I suddenly feel a little heartbroken. It's ridiculous, I know, to think that Sasori might actually have enjoyed simply being in my company. But I guess I got too caught up in meeting him that I forgot what he really was... A big version of Chucky. And he only wants us for our bodies. Literally. I really like this man so I can't help feeling betrayed that he actually wants me dead, just not now. I feel very unloved. I realize in disgust that I'm really just too naïve sometimes.  
Maybe having a vacation with S-ranked criminals wasn't the best idea.

"Fucking serious? I hope he just kills them! I mean, the boy is alright but that redheaded bitch gets on my nerves. I didn't mean you, Sasori." sniggers Hidan.  
"Let me guess... She swears better than you and now your pride is hurt?" laughs Kakuzu.  
"Ta gueule chieur!" hollers Hidan in French with a terrible accent. This makes my mood lift and my friends and I exchange a grin.

There is a dead silence as everyone probably tries to figure out what he just said.  
"Did you just say... 'tickle sure'?" asks Kisame.  
"Shut up you sashimi shitting dolphin banger!" shouts the Jashinist.  
There is another moment of cricket chirping and I them hear a few gasps, probably when they realized how offensive that was. I expected Kisame to bite Hidan's nose off, but he just chuckles.  
"... Now, that is just far too creative to be a product of Hidan-san's imagination."  
I hear someone standing up and a few light footsteps.  
"I didn't know Himeko-san was capable of such vulgarities." says Itachi's voice, right behind the door. My friends and I gulp, take a huge step back and pretend we were having our own conversation as the Uchiha open the door. "Very good. We almost didn't notice you three eavesdropping. But, in the end, we are Akatsuki."  
"We weren't eavesdropping. You guys were just talking loudly and we couldn't help but listen. No matter though, it's not like you guys were having a conversation about top secret stuff anyways." I admit, glaring at the floor.

"Hn." answers Itachi, walking back to one of the couches and sitting next to Kisame. We automatically exit the kitchen and stop abruptly. The whole Akatsuki (minus the bosses and Tobi) are in the common room. They must have returned while we were eating. They look... passive.  
I can still see the light spots in the floor where we had to fill in the holes that the firecrackers my friends threw left with Deidara's spare clay.

My friends and I stand still, suddenly extremely intimidated by the fact that we were in the same room as seven S-ranked criminals. If they tried to kill us now, they would probably succeed. Easily.  
"Hello..." smiles Yuuki sweetly.  
"Hi..." grins Ryo.  
"Aloha..." I say with a blank face. I refuse to make eye contact with Sasori because of my childish frustration at him for not actually liking me. I don't cope with hate that well.

"Still looking tasty as ever..." sneers the black Zetsu. I grind my teeth together to stop myself from laughing like an idiot. I can be so immature sometimes, even in serious situations.  
"So..." coughs Ryo. "We'll be... going back to our room now."  
We make a move to walk away, but Hidan steps in front of the staircase. He turns his head back to the Akatsuki.

"Who wants to kill them slowly?" he smirks sadistically. I suddenly have an urge to wet my pants. I thought he didn't mind leaving us alive? Oh, please... Please no... I don't want to die. They could kill us. They could. "You might have found ways to survive this fucking long... but if all of us were to gang up on you, do you think that you would last?"  
He shows us his teeth in a face-splitting grin.  
"I didn't tell you last night... What I wanted to do. You think you're so smart? Make up good swears? For you, I was going to cut your tongue out. Then rip you eyelids right off you damn face. Then I would leave you a bit, so that you would feel the pain. You wouldn't even be able to scream for help in any language. Just choke on you own blood, bitch. Then I would cut off your legs, then hang you by your ginger hair to the ceiling. I didn't cut off your arms, so you won't bleed to death too quickly. And I'll just leave you, as your friends watch. Don't worry, since I left in your eyeballs, you can see me get started on the boy."

Hidan turns to face Ryo. My face stays blank as part of my soul shatters into a million pieces.  
"You, boy, are not as annoying as this fucking bitch, so I'll make it faster. I'll just cut open you stomach and spill your guts. Jashin will love that. Your welcome for the mercy. You'll be dead within minutes. A few minutes will be enough, though, for you to enjoy the grand finale."

Ryo's eyes widen in horror, but Hidan is already facing Yuuki, who is frozen, looking at this evil man in the eyes. As he speaks to her, she starts shaking, drawn in by this hypnotizing fear.  
"I hate you the most, blondie, even more that your little ginger friend. You want to know why? You act sweet and confident, but in reality, you're the fucking coward. You let your teammates jump in front of you like meat shields. They're always there to protect your pretty face... But you know what? You just watched them slowly bleed to death. It's your turn now, and you know it. I'll slowly peel every fucking inch of skin off your body and let you die there, like a fucking animal, convulsing in agony in its own blood. Man, that's a lot of blood... Your friends', your's... it will be splashed all over the floor..."  
"STOP IT!" hollers Ryo, grabbing Yuuki by the arm and pulling her behind him protectively. Hearing his voice snaps me out of my pre-vomit phase and I take a step back to stand closer to my friends.  
Hidan huffs, clearly irritated.  
"Hey, prince charming, wait for you turn. I wasn't finished."

"Hidan-san, quit it." huffs Kakuzu, suddenly standing beside his partner. "You don't look cool picking on little kids."  
"Hah. I was only joking. That's nothing compared to what I would actually do. But I'm not going to kill them... for now." chuckles the Jashinist. I close my eyes for a second to calm myself and take a deep breath.  
There. I'm better now. Seriously, fuck Hidan. He's a psycho.  
Ryo is staring wide-eyed at Yuuki, who is starting to look a little tipsy. We each take one of her hands and she relaxes with one last gulp. I am a little shocked that she didn't cry or faint after Hidan's disgusting monologue. Even I am traumatized right now, I can't imagine how she feels...

"Naw, but seriously Kakuzu, you're such a damn pain! Why do you always have to comment on everything I do? You totally ruined my moment!" growls Hidan.  
"The stuff you want to do is a waste of time and time is money. And you know how I feel about wasting money." replies Kakuzu.  
"Yeah, like a stingy old bat." snorts the Jashinist.  
I see Itachi motion for my teammates and I to take a few steps back from the immortal Zombie Brothers. Probably advisable. The Akatsuki don't look the least bit fazed by Hidan's mental torture of us. He must play with his food often then.  
"Look who is talking, you and your annoying speeches and retarded religion..."  
"WHAT! Don't fucking insult Jashin-sama! You'll pay you nasty old bag of flesh..."  
"Watcha gonna do? We're both immortal." Kakuzu sounds royally pissed off.  
"But I'm stronger!"  
"Yes, Hidan, I'm sure you are..." deadpans the Frankenstein-looking guy, voice laced with poisonous sarcasm.  
"I am."  
"No."  
"Yes."

Judging by the looks on the other Akatsukis' faces, this is a common, daily occurrence which is starting to get really old.  
I look around the room, connect with Deidara's bored eyes and I suddenly remember something.

___"__You cannot imagine how long days can be, hm. Most of the Akatsuki train or stay in their rooms when they are bored, hm. Or, rarely, we play stupid adult games."  
__He nods his head, not realizing that I was holding in a laugh.  
"Um... What 'adult games' do you think of? 'Coz all I can think of right now is spin the bottle or strip poker. Many men. Wow."  
His eyes widen in pure horror.  
"Uh! No way! Hm! I was talking about non-idiotic teenager stuff!" he growls, pointing an accusing finger at me. "Like... hm... Arm wrestling! Yeah! That's manly! I'm awesome at it, hm!"  
I then positively laugh my butt off.  
"Pfffft... I would love to see that!"_

The corners of my lips twitch up and make a gesture so that I look as if I'm pushing someone's arm on the table whilst winning at arm wrestling.  
Deidara grunts and stands up.  
"Why don't you just settle it, hm?" he asks, getting the whole Akatsuki's attention. "See who is stronger? How about an arm wrestling tournament, hm? I'm bored as hell."

* * *

**Took me long enough. Apologies again.  
Hope you liked it. My OCs need a reality check from time to time, eh? The story is a humorous one, but shinobi should be serious to from time to time. Imagine if they had to fight Orochimaru. Hah, poor them. Who picked up the Hinata and the Orange Juice reference?  
Read, review, love, kiss, lonely but happy,  
XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (BTW if you are a Hetalia fan, you've seriously have got to read my friend PaperDream's fanfic, it's ah-mazing)**


	36. Himeko's Battle: Blood and Strategies

**HimekoUchia: Well, apologies for this insanely long delay. I finally finished school (exams, urg) and I had to update my other Naruto story, finish my Hetalia one (I also suggest looking at PaperDream's story if one of you guys like this manga) and binge read Death Note. Awesome sauce (MelloMatt and the rest of the L team are awesome. I hate Light but still rooted for him).  
Ryo: To apologies for the insanely long delay, HimekoUchia has brought to you... Drum-roll please... Yuuki: Dun dun! And insanely long chapter! The longest one yet!  
HimekoUchia: I was gonna cut it in half but then I though, nah, screw dat, I'll just give them the whole thing. Hopefully if makes you guys forgive me to some extent. Hope you like it! I don't own Naruto *sadface*. **** Thanks for the betaing PaperDream! Excuse any mistakes, this is a long chapter and I proofread it, but then the word editor messed up. Three. Times. Enjoooy!**

* * *

Last Chapter:

_Hyuga Hinata vs Hyuga Neji_

Hinata's eyes widen in terror and she glances at her cousin, who glares blankly at her. However, I can almost hear the evil laugh in his head and he calmly starts walking down the stairs, into the arena. I bite my lip. Neji looks as if he is going to rip her to shreds! If Tenten was here, she would give her boyfriend a long lesson on how to treat a girl, especially a cousin, but since the Weapon Mistress is currently in the emergency ward of Konoha hospital...  
"Aw... Hinata-chan is going to end up Neji-san's main course." sighs Ryo, voicing my thoughts exactly.

* * *

Hinata slowly walks away from Kiba and to the center of the arena, whilst Neji smoothly strolls in with a smug smirk pulling at his lips.  
"I never dreamed we'd find ourselves fighting each other... Lady Hinata." huffs the male Hyuga, eyes focused on his cousin's reactions.  
"Neji-san... big brother..." stammers Hinata.

There are a few gasps around the room.  
"She's his sister?" shouts Naruto.  
Kakashi and Lee somehow have the time to go on a detailed explanation on Neji and Hinata's relationship, their clan's problems and the how guy basically wants to kick the crap out of his little cousin.  
"Let the match *cough* begin!" hacks Hayate.  
Oh jeez, can this guy just drink honey lemon bubble tea or something?

"Before we begin..." Neji ignores Ryo's and my loud groans. Monologues should totally be kept out of the battle field. "I have to point out... You're not cut out to be a shinobi. Withdraw from the match!"  
I used to think that Neji was this hot, cool guy but now, with every stupid word that comes out of his mouth, I start to realize that he's just a sour nincompoop. I'm amazed as to how Tenten can stand this kind of attitude.  
"You're all sweetness and light... a peacemaker, not a trouble maker... you're easily led, not a leader." My mind's bullshit/useless criticism censorship kicks in. "Blah blah blah... world class inferiority complex... blah blah... stay a genin... blah blah... compete as a trio and you couldn't bear to let your teammates down. The truth is, your participation has reluctant from the start... hasn't it?"

"N-No, you're wrong. I- I really wanted to change that about myself. So, of my own volition I-..." Hinata is rudely cut off by a long-haired bitch.  
"Lady Hinata, you're the sheltered little baby of the main branch, aren't you?"  
"W-What?" Hinata looks a little dumbfounded at his claim.

"Here comes the angst destiny rant..." I huff and Ryo rolls his eyes and nods in agreement.  
"If only I could get a dollar for every time he makes one of these poetic speeches..." he sighs.

"A leopard doesn't change its sports. A failure always fails. And a weak personality won't become strong. It's precisely because of the unchanging nature of humankind that differences between people are born..."

"This is so stupid... people can always change themselves." mumbles Ryo, his eyes hardening to a glare.  
I know why he's frustrated. I can feel it too.  
"If it is impossible for people to change... them what would we be doing here?" I look at him, we both smirk and lightly pound fists.  
We have already changed. We adapted ourselves to live in this world. We are slowly becoming shinobi with every passing second. And even before that... We went through horrible pain. I remember when all three of us were complete wrecks. Somehow, with a lot of help, we all made it out in one piece. We all still have mental scars though.  
_Mhm. Somehow, you never managed to get rid of me, didn't ya?_  
As long as you limit your input to convenient moments, I don't mind still having a voice in my noggin. I hate it when you scare the crap out of me before I fall asleep though.  
_Hah. But it works every time, doesn't it?_

Yuuki, Ryo, Gaara and I are prime examples of change within a human being. If Gaara couldn't change the world would be screwed because an angry red-haired raccoon boy would be on the loose for the rest of his life.  
Damn, even Kakashi, Hinata, Lee or anyone else could prove that people change! Why is Neji so obsessed with this idea anyway? He should have learned by now that it's not fate that brings you marvelous things in life (like a girlfriend, for example). It's kindness and effort.

I watch the Hyuga as he activates his byakugan and continues talking.  
"... you can never change yourself!"  
I suddenly focus when Naruto's loud, annoying yet oddly comforting voice cuts through the tense atmosphere.  
"YES SHE CAN!" shouts the blond, slamming his hands down on the handrails so hard that I can feel the vibration through my palms. "You can't just decided these things about other people, you fool! Show him, Hinata-chan! Beat up this idiot!"  
Hinata looks up at the boy in awe and I can see the look in her eyes slowly change.  
"Come on! At least talk back to him! Just hearing him made me mad and it's you who has to fight him!"

The lavender eyed girl manages to keep her gaze strong and unwavering for a few seconds, so her cousin presumes she probably won't be quitting like he had foretold.  
"So you're not going to withdraw? Then I won't be responsible for what happens here." he huffs. I see the lines form around her eyes as Hinata activates her byakugan and she takes a taijutsu stance.  
"I don't want to run anymore! Big brother... Let's fight!" she declares. I squeal in fangirl excitement at how awesome this chick is. I need to design 'I heart Hinata' fanclub T-Shirts. Maybe a few 'Neji is a sour jerk' fanclub shirts too.  
Neji gets into the Hyuga fighting stance as well and the match begins.

Ryo and I watch, completely fascinated, as Neji and Hinata start slapping each other. They do it incredibly fast so it looks as if they are dancing, but the occasional grunt of pain proves otherwise.  
"Did she get him?" asked Sakura, obviously part of the 'Neji is a sour jerk' fanclub.  
"No! It's just a scratch!" hollers Naruto. Lee and Gai-sensei go into a long and detailed explanation about the Hyuga's gentle fist technique, about how it attacks the chakra flow and internal organs. Then, they have to explain what the chakra system is to Naruto (how did he even manage to graduate from the academy?) and how the byakugan can see it and attack it.

At the beginning of the match, it seemed as if Hinata was landing the most hits.  
Suddenly, both Hyugas slams the other hard in the chest, letting out a loud thumping sound that makes everyone focus. Hinata then coughs up a fountain of blood that makes a shiver go through my body and makes Ryo frown. Neji then starts poking his cousin's arms. The girl freezes in shock when she realizes what he is doing, especially when he pulls back her sleeves and there are dots on her arms. They look similar to bad mosquito bites that one has scratched way too many times.  
"I-It can't be! You mean... from the very beginning...?" gasps Hinata, an expression of horror dawning on her face. "Precisely... my eyes can detect your chakra points!" replied Neji.

"What's he saying?" wonders Naruto, and I see Kakashi look about ready to murder him.  
'How many lessons do we have to give this knucklehead in one match?' he seems to mentally scream. Man, Naruto is really quite the airhead, isn't he? The sensei then has to explain how, along the chakra system, there are 361 chakra points in the body no larger than the prick of a pin. Right as he says how talented Neji must be to be able to hit them accurately, said Hyuga whacks his cousin so hard in the boobs that she flies back and hits the ground.

"Lady Hinata..." Oh, no, not again. "This is the unalterable difference in strength... The distinction that separates the elite from the failure. This is the unchangeable reality. From the moment you said you wouldn't run, your defeat was inevitable. The only possible outcome was your present despair."  
Hinata struggles to stand and this really pisses Neji off.  
"Withdraw!" he hisses, trying to kill Hinata with his eyes as she slowly gets up.  
"I... n-never go back o-on my word!" she coughs, then faces Neji with a soft, but determined, Hyuga smirk. "Because that's my ninja way too!"

"Whoa, Hinata-chan! Man... she's got guts!" mused Naruto.  
"She's a lot like you." smiles Lee.  
"Yeah... I've noticed that she's always watching you, Naruto-kun." points out Sakura, a look of hopelessness appearing on her face when she sees a dumb look on Naruto's face.  
"Hunh?"

"Come here." says Neji icily, waiting for Hinata to charge at him. Before she can take another step, however, she coughs up another mouthful of blood. I can tell that she won't last much longer.  
"Neji-san's strikes have halted the flow of Hinata-san's chakra. She's lost the capacity to perform the gentle fist attack. This fight is as good as done." announced Kakashi solemnly. The only thing that Hinata could do now to win is to launch a well-aimed kick at her cousin's cadet-branch-family jewels.

Even as a member of 'Neji is a sour jerk' club, I can admit that he is super freakin' impressively strong. To be honest, he scares the living crap out of me now. He's so different from the nice guy that played stupid teenager games with his cousin or shoved his tongue down Tenten's throat.  
I think it's time that I accept that all ninjas a two-faced people. They're not the strangely violent ones, I'm just the sadly naive one.  
I glance sideways and notice Gaara's squirming. Wow, the Hyuga must be reeeaaaallly powerful. Note to self, never, _ever _tell Neji that he looks like drag queen. I will probably die.

Many people start shouting at the same time about how unfair the match is, how creepy the byakugan is or, in Naruto's case, cheering Hinata on.  
The girl suddenly looks energized and she charges at her cousin, who is only taken aback for a second before they start fighting again.  
Then Neji smacks Hinata in the throat. My jaw drops at how terribly painful that looks. I'm starting to get major cold feet for my match. Watching poor Hinata getting torn to shreds from the inside...  
All I can do is watch and admire her courage as she stumbles and regains her footing. She is amazing...  
She then throws herself at her cousin again and, this time, the sound of Neji's palm connecting with her chest echoes around the arena. She slowly slips and falls onto the floor. The pool of blood around her grows. I involuntarily shiver.

"Don't you know when to quit?" sighs Neji, looking down at the girl at his feet. "From the start, your attacks have been completely ineffective!"  
The proctor steps forward and immediately realizes that Hinata is beaten.  
"Seeing as the match can not go on...-"  
"DON'T STOP IT!" hollers Naruto.  
"What are you talking about, you idiot? She's got nothing left! She's already collapsed!" snaps Sakura right back and I agree with her.  
"Sh-She lost so much blood... Oh god..." I clench my hands tight to my chest, willing the terror to go away. I've never seen such a disgusting sight. My friend lying in a red pool because of her own cousin. "Just looking at this makes me wanna throw up and I'm not even haemophobic..."  
I feel one of Ryo's hands on my shoulder.  
"In the moment, the shock and adrenaline block out the pain... Hopefully she'll faint soon, so she doesn't have to go through this consciously." he says.

Suddenly, Hinata stirs. Under everyone's awed eyes and Neji's dumbfounded ones, she stands up.  
"Why are you getting up? If you push too far, you really will die!" asks the boy, looking truly confused. The girl lifts her face and smiles at him. This pisses Mr. Bitchy Hyuga off.  
"Th-This isn't over yet!" she coughs, trembling.  
"You're not fooling anyone. I can see with these eyes. It's taking all your strength just to stand! You were burdened from the birth with the destiny of the Hyuga clan's main branch. You've hated and punished yourself for your own weakness and fragility. But you can't fight your nature or change your fate. You don't have to suffer anymore. Be at peace!"  
Wow. 'Eyes', 'destiny' and 'fate' all in the same speech. Neji is truly a professional debater.

"But you're wrong, cousin... I can see it now. That, even more than me, it's you who are torn and suffering..." Hinata says angrily. Neji visibly flinches as she hits a nerve. "... Caught between the destinies of the main and cadet branch of our clan!"  
Neji suddenly lunges for Hinata. "NEJI! The match is over!"

The boy has an animalistic rage in his eyes, however, so it takes all the Konoha jonin (minus Asuma-sensei) to restrain him. _  
Wow... If only Tenten were here to chain up her rottweiler._  
I shake my head. If Tenten were here, she would be horrified at the way her boyfriend just treated his cousin. Then again, I shouldn't be judging his self-control right now, since I myself am slightly (extremely) disturbed by what I have just witnessed.

"Enough Neji-kun! Before this began, you swore you wouldn't drag the issues you have with your family's main branch into this." says Gai firmly.  
"Well... Why is it that the other jonin are getting involved? Special protection for the main branch, eh...?"  
This whole main branch, cadet branch story is so messed up, especially if it can make this boy, whom I know is a good person inside, willing to kill his cousin.  
For some reason, I suddenly feel a lot of sympathy for Neji Hyuga. He's so powerful and strong. Minus the attitude, he doesn't deserved to be treated like second-class citizen in his own family. Family is supposed to support you, not tear you down. He's a truly talented ninja and a sweet guy (if he tries), so I don't understand how it could ever come to this. Seeing the two Hyugas right now... both of them are in so much mental (and physical, in Hinata's case) pain. Their clan is too cruel...

"GACK!"  
I dart my eyes over to Hinata, who has just vomited another fountain of blood and collapsed on the floor.  
Sakura, Naruto, Lee, Ryo and I instinctively jump off the balcony and land next to our friend.  
"Hinata-chan?"  
"HINATA-CHAN! Hey, are you OK?"  
"Hinata! Oh no..."  
"Crap, is she going to be ok?"  
"This is bad, her face is losing color!"  
The girl looks blankly up at us with a soft smile, before closing her eyes and passing out.

I gulp once I hear Neji's voice again. I think that I have just started to realize what my 'friends' are really capable of doing to each other.  
"Hey... Loser, over here." I turn and face him but then notice that he is addressing Naruto. "I'd like to tell you two things. If you're a shinobi then cut out the pathetic cheering of others... And one more... In the end, a loser is a loser. They cannot change!"  
The two genin have a stare-down for a moment.  
"You wanna test me?" finally taunts Naruto through gritted teeth.  
"Heh..." Neji plasters a smug smirk onto his face.  
The blond knucklehead snaps and runs at him, but is stopped by Rock Lee.

"Naruto-kun! I understand you so much that it hurts, but the fighting should occur in the matches. Whether a loser can defeat an elite through the power of hard work. That's something to look forward to in the main test... Though his opponent might be me." He turns to face the blond. "But even if it's you, Naruto-kun, there will be no hard feelings."  
"Alright..." sighs Naruto, giving Neji a dirty look.

Behind me, I hear a agonized gasp. Hinata is hacking up blood again All I can do is watch as Kurenai frantically calls for a medical team who start working on Hinata immediately.  
"At this rate, she won't last 10 minutes!"  
"Take her to the emergency room! Hurry!"

I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my mouth with my hands. I don't know if I can stand this. I know that she'll survive, but my heart beats erratically and all I can feel is horror and disgust. Hinata...  
"Himeko-chan... Look..." whispers Ryo, putting his good arm around my shoulders. I look.

Naruto is holding a fist dripping with Hinata's blood towards Neji.  
"I vow to win!" announces the blond and I can't help smiling at this. With all these violent matches passing so quickly, it's nice to see the familiar sight of Naruto being himself.

When I hear Kankuro's voice, I look up at the Sand Sibs and their sensei up on the balcony.  
The puppet-nin lifts an eyebrow at me, probably wondering why my shaking hand is around Ryo's arm.  
I need the support. I'm not as indifferent to this as they are.  
I notice the uncomfortable look in Gaara's eyes and I immediately remember the game of 'Are You Nervous Yet?'. He was wacking out again. Should I go up there and slap him?  
No. I shake my head. Remembering all the fun times won't help me survive here. I've got to accept the dirty reality sooner or later. I was just hoping it would be later.

Ryo drags me back onto the balcony, smiling understandingly.  
"You OK?"  
"Uh... I'm fine. I presume that once I survive a fight, I'll be more emotionally tough." I sigh.  
"Don't worry." he pats me on the back. "You'll feel better once it's all over."  
Kankuro walks up to us.  
"Don't pass out now, Himeko-chan!" he chuckles. "It might be your turn next!"  
"Oh god, no! Please don't jinx me!" I shiver as the big screen beeps.  
"Himeko-chan..."  
"Nah, seriously Ryo, I need to clear my mind here..." I put my hand up and start taking deep breaths.  
"Himeko-chan..." This time, it's Kankuro interrupting my meditation.  
"Dude, I'm gonna pass out if I don't chill now." I frown and cross my arms. "Let me think..."  
"Himeko!" snaps Ryo, poking me in the face.  
I groan and open my eyes. I feel a little better.  
"_What?_"  
Kankuro turns me around so that I face the big screen.

_Tanaka Himeko vs Haruko_

Shit.  
"OK, that was obviously gonna happen... I should have touched wood or something." I gulp, my heart dropping to the bottom of my stomach. I suddenly feel like puking.  
Hey, Ryo, Yuuki, let's go to the ninja world and participate in the chuunin exams!  
This is by far the dumbest idea I've ever had in my pathetically short life... that might be ending in about... two minutes.  
"It's normal that I'm starting to freak out, right?" I mutter, feeling tears prickle in my eyes.  
Thankfully, Ryo's calm voice breaks through my haze.  
"Himeko-chan... Look at me..."

"Mhm?" I smile, facing him.  
He slaps me across the face. Everyone turns to look at me.  
"Urg! Ryo! What was that for, you jackass?" I hiss.  
"Payback." smirks my teammate. "Now, time for the promised pep talk..." I lean in, waiting, holding my breath. "... You're totally gonna die."

"Ryo." I growl, giving him the finger. He laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder.  
"I'm kidding! You'll be fine. You are capable of doing this. I believe in you! You are going to win this fight. It will be just a warm up for the official matches, right? Just remember, fight with you're brain, not your heart, not matter how difficult this sounds." I nod sadly. "Besides, if I can win, so can you! And do you wanna know why?" he smiles.  
I pull him into a hug.  
"... 'cause I'm the smart one."  
He hugs me back.  
"Yes... That's... HEY!" he pulls away, glaring.  
"Sorry, couldn't resist."

He pats my back.  
"Break a leg, Himeko-chan."  
"Thanks." I walk away, then turn around. "Wait... Why will I win?"  
"Because..." he gives me a thumbs up. "... I dunno."  
"Ryo."  
"Because you're you! And the you I know always finds a way out of any situation, no matter how dangerous or impossible it seems."  
"Right." I mutter, waving one last time at my teammate, as well as Naruto, Kankuro, Temari, Sakura, Ino and the jonins, who smile, grin or give me a thumbs up. Shino just gives me a blank look behind his glasses. Neji snorts and gives me a farewell wave, mouthing something like 'You cannot win. It has been decided by fate'. Jerk. Gaara is staring at Hinata's blood.

"Come on, princess, I'm waiting." sneers Haruko, already in the arena. "Don't tell me you're gonna hack off your hair and throw it at me like your friends?"  
"No thanks." I smile, tying my hair into a ponytail. Now, I mean business. "I like it the way it is."  
"Oh, really? I get it. Long, pretty red hair likes yours sure is a guy magnet, huh?" she asks, clearly mocking me.  
I play along, not really knowing what else to do. I'm gonna puke.  
"Well, thank you."  
"So, you do like a boy? Let me guess, he's in this room?" she chuckles and I notice that she's missing a tooth. Intimidating.  
"Yes and yes. Now, let's concentrate on the fight, please? This BS talk is stressing me out."  
Plus, this is no time to think about Gaara and distract myself. I glance up at him. He is staring creepily at me.  
Shit, now that's distracting.

"Oh. Are you scared?"  
I raise an eyebrow at her. Normally, I'm the annoying, talkative biatch, but looks like I'm handing over the trophy to miss Haruko here.  
"I'm not scared. I'm positively terrified."  
The girl looks taken aback by my honesty.  
"Oh, you admit it? Well, I'm not scared at all. Wanna know why?"

"No, not really."  
"Because." She completely ignores me and starts her typical ninja monologue. "I've been watching as your little friend defeated my teammate. It pissed me off, so I want to take it out on _you_. However, I also realized that he... didn't use any jutsu apart from teleportation... I presume you're the same? Well, you're up for a nasty surprise. Good luck trying to beat me, princess. Actually, scratch that. You probably won't even survive. You are too weak to even think about being a shinobi, princess."

"I am probably much weaker than you. You're probably faster, stronger and more powerful than me." I sigh, not feeling particularly cocky today. "But, guess what? That doesn't mean that I can't be a shinobi. Or that I can't win. And stop calling me 'princess', you sound like a pimp."  
She laughs evilly.  
"I'm sorry, princess, I thought that was your name. Perfect for someone who looks as soft, sweet and kind as you."  
I hear Ryo hold back a chuckle. I shoot him a glare that would make flowers wither to tell him exactly where he can shove his opinion.  
"Why does everybody think that being considerate is a handicap?" I mutter.  
"Because anything other than mercilessly inflicting pain will cause you to lose." She turns to the proctor. "Start to match! I can't wait until this one is begging me for mercy..."

Well... Looks like Ikuto was a far kinder person than her.  
This psycho wants to severely maim me, at least.  
Greaaaaat...  
"Let the tenth match begin!" calls out Hayate.  
If I die, tell Ryo, Yuuki, Gaara and everyone else that I love them.  
_Too late to write your will_.

Some people say that fear is an emotion. It's not true. It's much, much more than that. Fear is a disease that contaminates your body until you can't move or breath or think...  
For a second, I am paralyzed, but then I realize... This is it.  
Now's my time to show what I'm made of. Everyone's watching.

Suddenly, my bubble of stress inflates even more and I'm hyper focused. I can hear my opponent's every breath and notice her eyes darting down to her swords, then to my sword. So that's how she wants to do this. I huff and take my weapon off of my back. Somehow, if feels a thousand times heavier now that I have to actually use it in battle. I imagine it covered in the girl's blood.  
"So, what's your nasty surprise?" I ask, then suddenly really regret it when she smirks evilly at me, her brown hair falling in front of her eyes as she does a couple handsigns.

She disappears.  
Oh _shit_.  
She can _teleport_.  
I hear a poof behind me. I spin around just as she appears and tries to stab me. I block it with my sword, but my arms are too weak. I could _never_ chuck huge shuriken like Ryo. I knew this already, but feeling my lack of strength is scary.  
_Don't freak out..._  
She grins at me and pushes onto my sword with hers. I resist as hard as I can, my arms burning, but realize that my own blade is slowly getting closer to my face.  
"Pathetic!" she hisses.

I glare and teleport behind her.  
She expected this, so she spins around and tries to slash me with one of her swords again.  
OK. So I can teleport without handsigns and without making a sound. I just need to think about my desired location so I can move on average a second faster. That's a good thing. If I keep her hands busy she can't do signs, teleport or use jutsu.  
Think like a shinobi. Think Shikamaru.  
Plan. I have a plan.  
I clench my teeth. It's too risky.  
Damn it, I'll at least try. I'm the reckless one of the group for a reason.  
She frees her left hand and grabs the sword on the other side of her body. I expect her to spin it around so that she can stab me. It would give me plenty time to teleport.  
She scrunches up her face. She slams the handle of the sword into my stomach.

I gasp and jump backwards, my abdomen burning in pain.  
Didn't exactly expect her to do _that_. She must be less agile with her left hand then.  
Never mind. My plan will work even better this-...  
My stomach lurches and I feel something warm and metallic in my mouth. I cough and spit something dark red onto the floor.  
Blood. Oh my god, my blood.  
I shiver of terror goes down my spine.

"Psh, that's all you can do?" laughs Haruko, taking a step towards me. "You're even more useless than your friend! Why did you enter the exams if you're this weak, princess? Are you suicidal? Or are you just stupid?"  
I glare and wipe the blood away from my chin. My insides shouldn't be too messed up or I would be throwing up more than this.  
"I'm not stupid..." I hiss, taking deep breaths to help me focus on something other than my painful stomach. I let my fear show in my eyes.  
"Hah. You're pretty funny." smiles the woman, giving me a look full of pity.

She thinks that I'm scared and lost.  
Good.

I teleport behind her again. Haruko chuckles.  
"You teleport fast, I'll give you that. But your swordsmanship is terrible."  
She spins around and throws a shuriken at me.  
I teleport to the side since my movement would have otherwise been too slow.  
"As I thought..." muses the girl. "You don't have good enough hand-eye coordination or agility to deflect my attacks. I don't think I even need to waste my jutsus on you! I should only reveal them to my _real _opponent, during the next round. All I need to do to get rid of you is to beat your teleporting!"

Wow. I can't believe that she is actually telling me all of her thoughts. Thank you, ninja monologues. For once you are put to good use.  
She keeps throwing shuriken at me one by one, laughing as all I do is zap from one spot to the other.  
She is mocking me at this point. Of course, it's also part of _her_ plan.  
My pattern of teleporting sideways and back is very, very predictable.  
She knows that all she has to do to 'beat my teleporting' is to take me by surprise. She probably has more than one move up her sleeve. I take a deep breath.

Suddenly she grins and starts running towards me, throwing a line of kunai as she goes.  
Surprise number one.  
I extend my shield in a line in front of me, causing her knifes to stop in midair and fall to the ground.  
She looks taken aback for a moment but smirks and repeats her move. I once again stop her kunai.  
I suddenly hear a little click. I look down at my feet. A smoke bomb.  
Surprise number two.  
I play along and widen my eyes in shock as the bomb explodes, clouding my vision with purple smoke.  
She jumps through the smoke.  
Surprise number three.

Now, my natural reaction would have been to take a large step back in shock. Then my back would have hit the wall. I would have been too surprised to move or teleport, since I am obviously a rookie and would be choking and blinded by the smoke bomb (or if I teleported out of the smoke, she could simply follow and take me down easily, since I would be choking). Then, while I instinctively shield my face, her right sword would have gone through my stomach, then, in my weakened state, she could have easily stabbed my heart with her other sword, just for good measure.

What a smart plan. It would definitely have worked.  
I smirk.  
If only I wasn't a _dumbass_.

I hold my breath, take a large step back and parry her first sword away.  
However, since I anticipated this, I do it earlier than I should have and I push away the blade before it gets anywhere near me. Shoot. _Mistake_.  
Crap. I need her to get closer to me for this plan to work. Crap. Crap. _Crap.  
_I need to win. I've absolutely have got to win now! I can fix this! Improvise! The only way I can do that is if...  
Don't think about it. Think about victory. That's all that matters!  
While both of my hands are holding my sword to block her's, she uses the other hand to try to stab me through the stomach again.

I clear my mind and kick the sword away with my knee, the adrenaline pumping through my veins.  
Her momentum cause her blade to slip and slice across my leg, but also to get her much closer to me.  
Close enough. Now I'm back on track.  
I teleport into midair directly behind her, angle my bent leg and launch a kick as hard as I can into the back of her head. Her closeness to the wall makes up for my lack of strength and her head smashes into the concrete.

I land on my back and quickly scan her thoughts to make sure that she's out cold.  
Yes, a trauma to the front _and_ back of the head was definitely enough to knock her out.  
I start to chuckle. I can't _believe_ she fell for the same trick as Kin when she was the one originally trying to make _me_ fall for that. She is obviously dumber than she looks if she immediately underestimated me and actually believed that I was done for simply because I lack physical strength. I am well aware of my weak points. Still, to underestimate us even after witnessing Ryo's fight... She fell for my first trap too... I'm glad I didn't have to think up a plan B or C.

I start choking, so I roll out of the purple smoke and gasp for fresh air.  
I did manage to inhale some of it though, and it doesn't help my internal bleeding.  
I hack another mouth full of blood onto the floor and start coughing. This would have been quite cool if it didn't make me feel so darn miserable. I wipe a few tears out of my burning eyes and take deep breaths to calm my crazy heart beat.

My head drums like mad and I collapse onto my back, my vision starting to go black.  
I clench and unclench my fingers to keep myself conscious, though my mind is completely exhausted.  
I numbly register a few people calling my name, the smoke dissipating and a bunch of footsteps.

"Well, since both sides are unconscious and there is no way of telling who was knocked out first because of the smoke, I think that the fairest course of action would be to pronounce a dra-..."  
"I'M AWAKE!" I shout, my eyes snapping open as I sit up in panic.  
I feel a body support my back. Ryo.  
"... Oh. Sorry. The winner is Tanaka Himeko." announces the proctor.

I sigh in content and lie back onto my teammate. My fear of death and adrenaline leave me and my thoughts suddenly clear.  
A jolt of horror goes through my body. I dart my eyes to Haruko, who has blood leaking from her forehead.  
My hands covers my mouth.  
I won. I kicked her face into the wall.  
_I freakin' kicked her face into a freakin' wall_.  
And I _laughed about it_.  
"OH MY GOD!" I gasp, making all the people who had come down to check on me, minus Ryo, take a huge step away from me. "Oh my god! I'm a horrible human being! I killed someone! I fucking-..."  
Ryo rubs my arm.  
"Shhhh... Calm down, she's fine. It's normal to have done everything to assure your victory. It was your survival instinct. You wouldn't have hurt her in any other scenario..."  
I slowly nod and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. Hopefully it's not his injured one.

Survival instinct. Shinobi mindset. Right. I'm still a freakin' angel compared to people like Gaara or Neji. I wouldn't try to seriously hurt someone for anything other than self-defense. Right.  
I sigh in relief.  
OK, I am not turning into a murderous psychopath.  
"You're right Ryo-kun... I did it. I won. I'm not even hurt that bad..." I huff.  
I feel Ryo tense.  
"Oh, so you can't feel your leg? Good, you're still in shock." He covers my eyes with his hand. "Don't look. Trust me, you don't want to see."

I freeze.  
My leg. Haruko stabbed me through my leg. Shit.  
Ryo's right, my mind was too chaotic for me to feel pain.  
"Ryo-kun... I wanna be aware of my own condition!" I grunt.  
"Fine, you asked for it." sighs my friend, uncovering my eyes.  
I look at my leg. I yelp.  
It's completely covered in blood and I can tell that the cut is very deep. 'Cause it suddenly _hurts_. Like _hell_.  
"See? I warned you..." snorts my teammate.  
"I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie..." I mutter, covering my face.

"Don't worry, Tanaka-san, you'll just need stitches. Shinobi should be able to withstand pain far worse-..." starts a medic-nin before I cut him off.  
"SCREW YOU! Don't tell me what to feel! The worse injury I've ever gotten was falling out of a tree and scratching my arm! All that I needed was a freakin' band aid!" I snarl, any kindness in my heart being completely replaced by pain, pain, pain.  
"Caaaaaalm down, Himeko-chan..." hums Ryo. "He's just trying to help. You did great. I'm actually really impressed, though no one knows how you ended up winning because of the smoke. Do you mind?"  
I shake my head and let him go through my memories.  
"Nice... I knew you were going to win, anyways. You always seem to find a way out of seemingly impossible situations."

"Mhm..." I groan, letting the medics heave me onto a stretcher. "W-Wait... Ryo! I can't leave you here alone! What about-..."  
"Don't worry about me." says my teammate. "You need serious help."  
I let out a groan of pain when the medics move my leg. I need to get the heck out of here before I start crying.  
"Y-Yeah... I'm getting seriously lightheaded..."

I turn my head and look at my friend in the eyes.  
"You sure you'll be fine?" I ask, though only my friend gets the real meaning of my words.  
"Yes. I know what to do about the organization of the matches for the next round. Leave it up to me." he replies mentally, then says the next part out loud, rubbing my hand and smiling.  
"Sure. Once it's over, I'll find Yuuki and we'll come see you in the hospital, I promise. Nothing will keep me from it. I swear. Whether I'm sick, or healthy. Whether the situation is-..."  
"We're not _married_ Ryo! Shut up, creep." I snap.  
Ryo's jaw drops for a second, before he shakes his head in disbelief.  
"Well, you're feeling better already!" he snorts. "Sorry for being melodramatic. The scenario was so perfect, I couldn't pass up the chance."

I chuckle softly. I then notice Sakura, Naruto and Lee who have jumped down to make sure I was alive.  
"Oh, sorry for not being able to stay longer guys. You'll fill me in about the next matches, 'kay?"  
They all nod. I get carried away and I give Ryo one last look.  
"Good luck." I say mentally.  
"You too." he answers.

I glance up at the rest of the people on the balcony. Shikamaru, Ino and Choji are looking at me in horror. Neji is frowning at me (what's with his PMS? I don't see _him_ bleeding to death). Shino's eyes are invisible behind his glasses. The senseis look slightly worried. Kankuro and Temari are looking extremely worried, but are both facing Gaara, who is looking at me with wide, creepy eyes.  
Right. Hinata emptying herself by vomiting her guts out and my hacked open leg equals a _lot _of blood.

I suddenly feel totally embarrassed.  
I might have won, but I look like shit.  
I _feel_ like shit.  
I groan in pain and my mind suddenly blacks out again.  
Time for a siesta.

* * *

**Ryo's POV**

Once Himeko is out of sight, I shiver a little. Damn, when she crawled out of the smoke, I thought she was going to die for a moment. Judging by her reactions, though, her wounds are nowhere near as life-threatening as Hinata's ones were.  
The other genin and I return to the balconies to await the next match.

"Your weapons and that grass-nin's weapons. Himeko-chan's teleporting and the other girl's teleporting... I can see why you guys were matched up." says Lee.  
"It's too bad we didn't see much of the ending of the fight, though. I wanted to see how Himeko-chan won! I mean, I knew she was gonna make it but she looked kind of terrified during her match!" grins Naruto.  
I shake my head.  
"No. Himeko-chan was really scared, but she wouldn't have made it so obvious. It was part of her plan since the beginning-..." I explain, but get met with the blond's 'huuuuh?' look.

Before I can elaborate, the screen beeps.

_Gaara vs Lee_

"YESSSS!" hollers Lee, before talking about how happy he is to be next.  
Darn, Himeko must be disappointed that she can't see Gaara fight. Actually, maybe that's a good thing. It would probably terrify her to see the redhead hurt Lee, judging by how she reacted just to Neji hurting Hinata. I could always share the memory with her.

"Can you explain Himeko-chan's plan? I still don't get it." mutters Naruto. Kankuro listens in.  
"Well... You see, by acting overly panicked, terrified and also by showing her opponent her physical weakness, she made her severely underestimate her. By doing this, Himeko-chan could play Haruko-san straight into her trap."  
"... I still don't get it."

Besides me, Shikamaru appears out of nowhere. Ninjas.  
"By acting scared..." he explains. "She tricked her opponent into thinking that her backing up against the wall was a stupid act of fear and defense, whilst it was actually to lure her closer to it, correct?"  
I nod.  
"Both of the girls had watched your match intently, Shikamaru-kun, so they learned to stay aware of their surroundings. Haruko-san knew that Hime-chan teleported faster than her, so to be able to land hits on her, Haruko-san knew that she had to take her by surprise. Himeko knew that she knew that, especially since her opponent sort of gave it away. So she gave Haruko-san the perfect opportunity to destabilize her by pretending she didn't know the wall was behind her and acting as if she was in a tight spot, when she was actually thinking one step ahead of her. Now do you get it?" I ask.

"Yeah, sort of. But why was she wounded? Was that part of her plan?" he questions.  
I try to remember what my teammate showed my through her memories.  
"Probably not. Since Himeko anticipated her opponent's attacks, she must have acted too early and accidentally pushed Haruko away from the wall. Himeko must have improvised from there to correct her mistake by letting Haruko land a hit on her. It also assured that they would be close enough to the wall for Himeko to be able to teleport behind her and kick her. If she were further from the wall, Himeko wouldn't have been strong enough to end the match. Himeko let Haruko believe it that all was going according to her plan, but it really was simply Himeko pulling the strings. I can guess this happened because I know her all to well." I lie, since I don't want them to find out about my ability to read memories.

"That was a risky plan though. Incredibly reckless. She could have gotten herself killed if something went wrong." points out Shikamaru. Funny, that applies to her love life and the other psychotic redhead (not her).  
"Himeko-chan is like that. She's just good at getting herself in and out of trouble, but that ability is tripled when she is under stress. That's the reason Yuu-chan and I listen to her. She can keep us alive. Thinking quickly and acting are her specialty, though I've never seen her come up with such a plan before. But believe it or not, she sucks shit at chess." I snort.  
Kankuro closes an eye.  
"Well, who would have known that Hime-chan was a good strategist. I thought she was definitely going to lose her match. But she's actually really smart."  
I laugh.

"Oh, yeah, Hime-chan is smart! And she knows it. She isn't particularly modest about it either. That's why she gets so angry if people call her stupid. She takes it terribly because her smartness is her pride. She's normally not egocentric, but..." I shake my head. "... man, don't insult her brain. She'll slap yah."  
Kankuro grunts and looks down into the arena at his brother, who is still having a stare-down with Lee.  
"Well, that explains why Gaara walked around with a bruise on his face for a day. Himeko-chan's lucky to have survived that, actually. I don't know how she did it. Hm... What's with this Rock Lee guy? I don't know what type of attacks this bowl head has, but he's no match against Gaara."  
"No, Lee is strong..." mutters Naruto.

The green spandex clad ninja catches Gaara's gourd's cork when it flies at him. Wow, I didn't even see it.  
"No need to get so impatient!" smiles Lee.

"Alright... Let the eleventh match begin!"

* * *

**Wow, long chapter! Phew!**

**So yeah, Himeko's obviously not as brave or as calm or as strong as Ryo (probably not as sane either), but she's ****_smart_ (she not smarter than Shikamaru though, rest assured. She has to pick tips up from him after all). I hope that this chapter has helped proved that my OCs are obviously not as nice and as perfect as they initially seemed (I've gotten complaints). They do have a couple screws loose. I hope that their abilities were balanced out.** **The 'princess' joke Haruko makes is obviously a pun on 'Himeko' which means 'little princess'. She saying that because Himeko appears weak and dainty compared to her ruggedness.  
****OK, so I've read Death Note, if that explains my sudden urge to write an elaborate, complicated plan (that manga is about smart dudes and shinigami). I added Ryo's explanation in case some people didn't completely get her train of thought (I know my beta had doubts and so did Naruto, after all).  
Also, please excuse my crappy fight scenes. I am no karate professional.**

**Hm... Seems as if the OCs have something to hide... You'll eventually find out what, of course (evil grin).  
****I think it's about time to let Ryo narrate a bit (yes, Yuuki will get a chance to prove herself too. One day. One day). With a KO Himeko, that's the perfect opportunity. I decided to not have her watch Gaara's match because that would take AGES to write and I'm sure that you, as much as me, want to get these exams over with. I mean, come on, I'm like, what, four years behind the manga?  
Review if you want!**  
**Enjoy your holidays (my teachers have sent my class HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. Yeah. My life sucks)!**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (internet censorship in China sucks. No youtube. Though my grandma's food is sooooooo good.)**


	37. Akatsuki: Arm Wrestling Tournament

**HimekoUchia: OK, this is super late (like a month and half or more). Excuse: I traveled all around France during the holidays (my cousin got married, I spent time with my family and my uncle's insanely awesome bird farm with a freaking peacock in it), had to catch up with homework, started school, read loads of fanfics, reading Scandinavia and the World... Hey, never said that it was a good excuse.  
Ryo: … Damn it, you just kept procrastinating!  
HimekoUchia: I'm really sorry... Thank PaperDream for reminding me to update. And for reading my drafts and making me feel confident enough to continue with this crazy chapter. At least it's long.  
Yuuki: It's Akatsuki!  
*cues cheers from Akatsuki fans and boos from non-Akatsuki fans*  
HimekoUchia: Don't worry... I did start to write the next chapters of ANISHWY and TBP... Plus, I have started planning a new Hetalia story (but I won't start writing it until I finish ANISHWY).  
Ryo: … OK, now on to the chapter! Don't forget the warning!  
HimekoUchia: Oh yeah... This chapter is... gonna be filled with implications. Not as in, M rated stuff... Just people talking about stuff... You'll see. You have been warned. If you dislike even thinking about dirty stuff, I suggest you mentally censor most of this :) Thanks for the reviews, guys! Over 400! How awesome!  
Yuuki: The authoress does not own Naruto or any of its associates. Excuse any OOCness. The Akatsuki chapters, though we know where to slot them in the canon, are really just for laughs. Now, on to the chapter!**

* * *

**Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 6: Arm Wrestling Tournament**

* * *

_Recap: __The trio are in the Akatsuki base some undetermined time after the chuunin exams. They have __met most of the Akatsuki members__. Hidan tried to kill Himeko and Ryo saved her butt. Sasori distracted Hidan long enough for them to escape. Pinocchio was lost. __Later on, Himeko was injured fighting Hidan but survived after they made a pact of teaching him swears in many different languages. The trio finds out that Sasori has been defending them all this time so that he could have a better idea of their powers, so that he could turn them into more efficient puppets. Himeko makes Deidara suggest an arm wrestling tournament._

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_Deidara grunts and stands up._  
_"Why don't you just settle it, hm?" he asks, getting the whole Akatsuki's attention. "See who is stronger? How about an arm wrestling tournament, hm? I'm bored as hell."_

* * *

There is a moment of silence.  
"That is by far the dumbest idea you've ever had, brat..." mumbles Sasori.  
"Shut up, hn! It's only because I beat you last time that you're like this, hn!" taunts Deidara, making Sasori stand and stomp over.  
"Fine. I demand a rematch for that."

Itachi's eyebrow twitches a bit and he glances at me.  
"Of course. That was Deidara-san's idea, wasn't it?" he huffs sarcastically.  
Wow, he's good.  
Kisame pokes him in the side, making the Uchiha let out a strange little noise, jump up and glare at him. Oh wow... Itachi is ticklish?  
"Sorry. But I'm bored. Arm wrestling sounds great. Please?" begs Blueman, giving Itachi a puppy-dog look. The brunet gives him a 'never ever ever!' look right back, but he eventually sighs.  
"Fine. I do need a little entertainment."

"OH MY JASHIN FUCK YEAH!" hollers Hidan, pointing his middle fingers to Kakuzu. "You're going down, you old hag!"  
"You're defeat will be bitter..." snarls the creepy looking guy.  
"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" laughs the jashinist.  
Kakuzu walks over to a table.  
"Of course not. I won't risk having you get some of my money, not matter what the odds are that I will beat you."

"Why don't you guys make this a tournament? You first go up against your partner, then the winners compete, then those winners compete until there is one winner. And, since arm wrestling really is a competition of true strength, using chakra could be banned" suggests Ryo.  
Most of the Akatsuki members shrug at that. Hidan suddenly turns to us with a wicked grin. I shiver a little.  
"Well, we're only 3 teams, so in the semi-finals there is a missing contestant... How about you three little brats join us?" he sniggers.  
"Bad idea!" laughs Yuuki nervously, gulping. "We'll lose, definitely. We'll just... compete amongst each other. I'm sure you guys will figure something out for the extra person..."  
"Aw, why the fuck not?" whines Hidan mockingly. "It would be so fun to..."  
"Hidan. Stop. I have nothing against killing children, as long as it's for money, but if you keep insisting on fighting them then you are obviously too scared to challenge me." mumbles Kakuzu.  
I suddenly love him. OK, maybe not, but I mentally thank him for saving us in a disgusting, weird way.

"Stupid old hag! Fine, I'll forget the brats and fight you instead!" growls the jashinist, stomping over to the low coffee table and putting his elbow on it, inviting Kakuzu to kneel in front of him across the table. The man does and the second they grab hands the whole room shuts up to watch the Zombie Brothers start off the arm wrestling tournament.

I expect an epic showdown with screams, blood and background music, but it's really just two really big guys, holding hands, grunting like pigs and red in the face with effort. The rest of the Akatsuki members seem so into it.  
I have to pinch myself to stop myself from snorting in laughter. Man, these guys are funny once you get past the whole... murderous S-Ranked psychopathic criminal thing.

We all watch the two hands shift towards Kakuzu's side, then to Hidan's side, until, eventually, the jashinist's huge muscles and youth take the upper hand and he smashes his partner's arm into the table with a loud thump.  
There is a moment of silence. I hear a spider climb up a wall. Actually, looking at it from across the room, I can see that it's about the size of my head. I slowly shuffle backwards.  
"FUUUCCKKK YEAHHH! Thank you Jashin!" hollers Hidan, flipping the coffee table over in excitement.  
Kakuzu starts mumbling to himself and I almost expect him to start rocking back and forth on his heels like a kid. Thankfully for all of our mental stabilities, he doesn't and just gets up, stomps over to the couch and plops down in it.  
"I accept defeat. Congratulations, Hidan, for winning this childish competition of momentary physical strength and adrenaline that completely ignores the competitors' true power and IQ. Now, let's move on to the second round. Sasori and Deidara. I nominate you two to proceed."  
"Awww... Kakuzu has a sour ass face! Hahaha! I win! I win! I win!" laughs Hidan poking his fellow Zombie Brother in the face until the man threatens to chop off his finger and bury it in an unknown country so that he'll never find it. Ever.

The artist duo take the stage, rearranging the coffee table.  
"I hate these games, brat." seethes Sasori, his red hair flicking over his blank, wooden eyes.  
"You're just afraid to lose, hn!" laughs the blond.  
"I don't feel fear. I just have very little patience for these type of activities, but since I did agree to this-..." Sasori is then cut off by Deidara.  
"You demanded a rematch, hn. That's not the same thing as 'agreeing to-..."  
"Whatever. Let's just do this, brat." sighs the puppet-master, and I'm pretty sure that I see a flicker of dread in his eyes.

Their hands connect and the wrestling starts.  
Deidara, being strong, and Sasori, feeling no muscular strain, keep on going. After a few minutes, Deidara starts looking a little sweaty whilst Sasori still looks completely chilled.  
"Human weakness. See, unlike you, I have no limit to my physical strength. There is no disadvantage to being made out of wood-..."  
He is cut off by a loud cracking sound. The redhead gasps and yanks his arm out of the battle.  
"CRAP! Brat! What did you do to my joints! This will need so much repairing and oiling..." spits the puppet-master, examining the damage done to his limbs. I can see that the wood has cracked a little around his wrists and elbows.  
"What, did you get a wood splinter stuck in your arm, hn? Hah! Hn... That was a forfeit on your part. So that means that I win... Again, hn." Deidara smirks, winks and blows a kiss at his partner. "Better luck next time, doll face."  
For a second, I almost expect Sasori to bitch slap the blond. Instead, the puppet-master simply turns away, mumbling something to himself.  
I can only imagine what disgusting, mangled body part he is going to hide in Deidara's bedsheets as vengeance...

"Itachi-san and Kisame-san's turn!" shouts Yuuki, pointing at the Uchiha as he tries to sneak up the stairs without being seen. We can particularly hear the mental swearing but his face is always as composed.  
"We didn't duel yet Itachi-san!" laughs Kisame, causing said brunet to sigh and stiffly walk towards the table, plonk down next to it and put his elbow on its dull surface.  
"Fine. Let's do this." deadpans the Uchiha, a look of total coolness plastered to his face. Darn those good looks.

Blueman simply laughs, holds his partner's hand (it feels weird simply thinking that) and they start the match.  
After a few seconds of grunting, the hands start leaning over to Itachi's side. I guess that the Uchiha suddenly realizes that being a sore loser is in his blood and refuses to give in no matter how silly the game. He starts really resisting Kisame and the hands return to the center, indicating that the men are evenly matched for now.  
A few seconds pass. Then a minute. Then two. Then a whole lot of time. We all watch in silence, occasionally holding our breaths if the hands get dangerously close to the table on either side.

By this time, both men have beads of sweat forming on their hairlines, are slightly panting and baring their teeth at the other.  
"Damn! These two have got stamina!" chuckles Hidan. "Imagine these two doing it! How long could it last-..."  
"Oh please, Hidan, these are innocent children in this room." groans Kakuzu, shoving his partner in the arm.  
Sasori and Deidara both huff a little.  
"Innocent? As if..." they mumble under their breaths. They look at each other after that creepy unison, until Sasori goes back to glaring at the blond for breaking his arm.

Whilst Yuuki and I seem completely entranced by the match, the men who are not staring at every one of Itachi's muscle flexes start to get bored (for some reason, Deidara seems completely absorbed too...).  
Beside me, I hear Ryo groan in frustration.  
"Itachi-san, you're so sexy..." he chuckles, imitating a fangirl.  
Everybody, including Kisame, turns to stare at my teammate in shock. Itachi takes advantage of this by slamming Kisame's arm onto the table.  
With horror, Blueman looks back to his opponent. Itachi looks as if he's about to display a shit eating grin, stand up on the table, singing 'I win, bitches!' whilst performing a striptease.  
He doesn't. But he does crack his fingers, shrugging his shoulders smugly. Suddenly he turns to Ryo.  
"Listen, boy, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested in teenage boys. I'm not Orochimaru."

Everyone chuckles at that, but then we all give a little shiver after truly remembering how creepy that guy is.  
Ryo puts up his hands.  
"Whoah! I was kidding! I mean, I was just saying out loud what every fangirl on the planet would be saying! I just thought that saying that would distract one of you two so that we could move on from this match and... urg, whatever. Sorry, Kisame-san." he mumbles the next part under his breath. "Don't kill me please."  
Kisame looks a little hurt at that, but in the end he just sighs and accepts defeat. He must be too exhausted from that arm wrestling match to get mad.

I make a mental note on congratulating my friend for being awesome later. The match ended. Thank goodness.  
"So... what's next? Should we start the semi-finals, or something?" asks Itachi, obviously getting pumped after beating a muscly, strong, shark man ninja, who was almost two meters tall, in arm wrestling.  
"Wait, hm! Gay boy and Ginger... You two go!" chuckles Deidara, pointing at Ryo and I. We share a glance and just shrug in approval.  
"Okay! … Wait a second who're you calling gay boy, you gay boy with long blond- ACK!" I slap my hand over my teammate's mouth and tug him over to the coffee table, not wanting him to annoy a guy that could blow us to ashes.

Sending a last glare at the blond and sending a giggling Yuuki a dirty look, Ryo turns back to me.  
"What have I gotten myself into..." he mumbles. I just smile and we link hands.  
Then it starts. After a few seconds, I can already feel my muscles screaming in protest, but I still manage to resist Ryo.  
"I'm just wondering..." I breath and grin. "Are you going easy on me or what?"  
My friend chuckles.  
"Not really... OK, maybe a little bit... I'll get serious then."

I groan as Ryo starts forcing my arm towards the table. I only manage to hold him off for about ten more seconds before he completely pwns me.  
"Jeez... I need to do more upper body workouts..." I laugh, stretching my back.  
"You've gotten stronger since the chuunin exams, though. Before I could take you down in three seconds flat." he admits.  
"Cool. I guess that asking Tenten and Lee for a few pointers has proven useful." I respond.  
My teammate gives me a horrified look.  
"Do me a favor, Himeko-chan..." he sighs. "Don't ever let Lee coach you again... After what happened _last time_... I'm surprise that you're even alive."  
We both shiver.

I make to get up but Yuuki pushes me back down.  
"I want to go up against Himeko-chan! Then Ryo-kun!" she announces.  
I suddenly remember that a bunch of older men are watching me do something physical and I instinctively pull the front of my shirt up. Who knows... Maybe some of them are perverts with weird fetishes... I am now thinking of Sasori and his puppets as well as Hidan and his ritual.

"Yuu-chan, a minute, my arm is killing me. Oh, wait, we'll just both use our left hands then." I suggest.  
My cousin nods and we grab hands.  
"A warning... My left arm is absolutely useless..." she mutters.  
So I start my second arm wrestling match... And, thankfully for me, my left arm is stronger than Yuuki's, even though she is a far more naturally athletic person than me. I guess that being a fan of tree climbing has helped me out in life. Thank you tree climbing.  
A minute and an aching left arm later, I somehow manage to win, even if my cousin managed to get my hand within an inch of my side of the table.  
"Wow... Yuuki-chan, I know that you're right handed but you've got to work on that other limb of yours. If you've managed to be beaten by _Himeko-chan_then you've obviously got a problem." laughs Ryo.

I get up and roughly shoved him to the spot across the coffee table.  
"Shut up, stupid." my cousin and I both mutter at his double criticism, then I join Sasori so the side to watch my teammates compete.  
I check to make sure my arms are still attached to my body. Oh my gosh... I groan. They feels as if they're floating... From experience, I know that I will be feeling intense muscular pains starting from tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to me able to even tie a pony-tail for a day or two.

Another arm wrestling match starts. I swear, it's so much more entertaining in person.  
Since I have major focusing problems, my thoughts trail off while I watch my friends. I've got to get physically stronger. I nearly lost two arm wrestling matches in a row and that's just embarrassing. I suddenly remember what Lee suggested I could do. To completely work out my body and power, I should start by doing intense kickboxing. I should do some kickboxing! Or some taijutsu... Or some jiu-jitsu... Or maybe even some Krav Maga?  
I shake my head. So many awesome martial arts workouts to chose from! I sigh in frustration.  
If only I were actually fit enough... Hell, I can hardly do more than five pushups without collapsing (though it's an improvement from the zero I could achieve back when I first arrived in the ninja world).

I flick my eyes back to my friends. Oh, they're still at it. This isn't as long as Itachi and Kisame's match, but this proves that Yuuki is quite capable of standing her ground, though she is obviously struggling a lot against Ryo. He's such a tough cookie. However, Yuuki and I, sharing the same blood, are both stubborn.  
My blond teammate's arm is starting to get closer to her side of the table. The slight look of panic that races in her eyes for a second disappears and is replaced by an evil look.  
I suddenly really pity Ryo.

The poor boy looks really confused as to why Yuuki is staring at him with such a strange grin, but a look of horror dawns on his face when he feels my cousin's leg slowly run up his.  
"WHAT THE-! Yuuki! That's not fair!" he gasps, starting to twitch when the blond girl's foot gets dangerously close to his family jewels.  
My cousin simply laughs at his red face and takes advantage of his distraction to smash his arm against the table.  
Ryo stands up furiously.  
"You can't do that!" he shouts.  
"No rule against it, hon." she chuckles, getting up and patting our friend on the face before walking back towards me.  
Well, at least we know that Ryo isn't gay.

Every Akatsuki member is holding back a grin at the little display. I'm hesitating between laughing my butt off or feeling a little weird because... well... Ryo _is_ my best friend forever and Yuuki _is_ my cousin. Seeing your family member do dirty stuff is always disturbing...  
Wow, I now feel the need to apologize for all those 'Are you nervous yet?' games I've made my friends watch.  
When Ryo slumps over to the spectator's area, Kisame shoots him a glare.  
"Now you know what being distracted during a match feels like." huffs Blueman.  
"I said I was sorry..." sighs Ryo, standing besides me. Hates losing at arm wrestling against a girl, I guess.

Suddenly, something green comes out the ground.  
"OH MY GOD IT'S AN ALIEN!" I scream, backing off into the wall. Yuuki shrieks and jumps into Ryo's arms, wrapping her legs around his torso. He didn't see that coming and combined with the shock of seeing Zetsu grow out of the ground, he falls over, Yuuki crashing down on top of him.  
My poor guy friend looks incredibly confused for a second.  
"Yuuki..." he groans, red in the face. "Next time, a warning would be nice before you sic me... And, as much as I like you sitting on top of me cutting off my oxygen supply, I'm lying on a rock, so my back kinda hurts..."  
My cousin starts snorting with laughter, stands up and helps the guy off the floor.

I shake my head, wondering why my teammates are so weird...  
_You're saying that?_  
"Zetsu-san! Hey, do you want to join in for the semi-finals of our arm wrestling tournament? There are only 3 guys competing and we need even numbers..." I smile, hoping that he won't eat me.  
The plant guy gives me a funny look.  
"Oh, so that's what you guys were doing..." says the white half.  
"... for a moment there, I thought that we would be able to take many compromising, embarrassing pictures of Akatsuki members holding hands." smirks the black half.

"Zetsu!" growls Hidan, before giving the plant-man-creature-monster-thing an evil grin. "You're up against me! Now!"  
Zetsu crawls over to the coffee table like Ursula and plonks down on the floor.  
"I want to arm wrestle with Hidan!" announces the white Zetsu.  
"NO! _I_ want to arm wrestle with Hidan!" snaps the black Zetsu.  
Most of the Akatsuki members groan. I presume that this is a common occurrence.

"I'm wrestling the right side. Sorry, white Zetsu, maybe another time." decides Hidan, offering black Zetsu his arm, who chuckles. The white side grumbles and looks about ready to punch his black counterpart, but seems to think twice since he would technically be punching himself.

So they start arm wrestling.  
I see why Hidan wanted to go up against Zetsu so bad. Though the guy is tough, he is a plant, so he is obvious not made out of three tons of man muscle like the Jashinist is.  
"Argh! Careful! He's starting to win!" hollers the white Zetsu half, flapping his arm like a chicken. "Woah, you're so dark compared to Hidan-san! NO! No! No! He's gonna win! Quick, push! Push! No! Resist! Resist! Urg! Come on!"  
I notice all the Akatsuki sigh in annoyance. Looks like half a certain aloe vera man gets a _little_ too carried away during arm wresting.  
After another minute, Hidan finally slams his opponent's arm into the table.

"If it had been me, I would have won!" yells the white Zetsu.  
"Shut up! If weren't for your loud screaming I could have focused better!" snaps the black half back.  
"Stupid! I'm the stronger half and you know it!"  
"Oh, quit your whining!"  
Before long, the two halves of Zetsu are arguing like a married couple. I start giggling because since they're sharing a mouth... having them argue is hilarious.  
However, once the white Zetsu slaps his other half across the face and they both grunt in pain...  
I start laughing so hard that I start crying. I sink to the floor, holding my stomach, and I'm soon joined by Yuuki, Ryo, Hidan, Kisame and Deidara. All six of us start banging out fists on the floor in laughter.  
Sasori looks completely mortified at our behavior. Kakuzu is snorting whilst holding himself up against a wall. Itachi is biting back a tiny smile.

The Zetsus have stopped quarreling by now and are now glaring at us.  
"You are all a bunch of immature children." snarls the black Zetsu.  
"We were merely disagreeing on arm wrestling techniques. You don't have to make such a racket." huffs the white half. "Anyways... Deidara-san, Itachi-san... your turn."

There is an epic far west moment between the two men. Well, actually, Deidara is glaring at Itachi, one of his most hated persons, his fingers twitching. The Uchiha just stares back calmly.  
"Itachi Uchiha..." smiles Deidara. "You're going down."  
The brunet simply sits at the coffee table, putting his elbow on its surface and giving his fingers a quick wiggled. I think that means that he's super riled up.  
The match commences. I try to guess who will win.  
Well, judging by each of these shinobi's bicep muscle volume, multiplied by their overall body mass, divided by the number of calories they have burned during their first matches, squared by the angle their arms form... equals...  
Two sexy guys. Nothing else matters. I nod. Sounds about right.

We all patiently watch the men, noticing how extreme Deidara's facial expressions are. He is flaring his nostrils so much while breathing that he looks like a constipated bull who recently got castrated.  
With that image in mind, I stay extremely entertained during the whole match.  
Deidara's visible eyebrow starts twitching like crazy and Itachi soon has a tight frown on his face, as the men both refuse to lose. Deidara because it's personal (he hates Uchihas) and Itachi because he secretly loves winning at arm wrestling.

After a few minutes, Itachi suddenly gulps extremely loudly, his face slightly scrunching up in disgust.  
"Deidara-san... This is... repulsive..." growls the Uchiha.  
When the blond starts laughing and tightens his hold on Itachi's hand, everyone suddenly understands what's going on.  
"Ewwww... Dude, is the tongue in your palm _licking_ Itachi-san's hand?" gasps Ryo.  
To the Uchiha's credit, he didn't let this turn of events ruin his concentration.

Hidan then walks towards Deidara, leans over and mock whispers something in his ear loud enough for everyone to hear.  
"I wouldn't do that shit if I were you, blondie." he smirks. "As far as I know, Itachi is sexually depraved... Guess where that hand of his has been."  
I bite back a chuckle at the sudden look of utter horror on the bomber's face and, most of all, at the suggestive eyebrow quirk that Itachi just sent to his opponent.  
"Nooooo!" screams Deidara as if he were in severe pain, getting stabbed over and over in the gut or something.  
Itachi smashes the blond's hand into the table.

Deidara immediately yanks his hand out of the Uchiha's grip and starts pouring peppermint mouthwash into his palm mouth (he made the bottle appear from somewhere inside his cloak), cradling his precious body part whilst making gagging noises and muttering something that sounds a lot like "Itachi's dick taste...".

Itachi looks extremely pleased with himself while wiping Deidara's spit off of his hand.  
"So... I presume that now is the finale? Hidan-san... We're competing." he says coolly, but I can practically feel the smugness floating around him.  
Man, the Akatsuki take this a little too seriously. They must be really bored.  
Hidan smirks and sits in front of him.  
"Sure thing, pretty boy." he chuckles. Itachi's facial expression doesn't even change a little.

I just realized, in the Akatsuki, there a mostly men. Mostly. _Men_.  
So... In other words, it must suck to be young and good looking like Itachi or girly looking like Deidara. If they weren't so freaking powerful, I'm pretty sure that they would have been butt raped countless times by now...  
Crap... I'm surprised that the Akatsuki are surprisingly civilized when it comes to their 'tension release' (as far as I know). They didn't try to rape anyone in my team yet and they don't seem to jumping each other either.

Actually... what _do_these men do? Are they all virgins or something? I mean, they do chose power/money/immortality over everything in this world, even ninja babes. Sasori did trade his body in for power, which means no screwing for him (unless... no, I don't even want to think about it). Itachi seems too uptight to even try to woo a lady/man/animal/undetermined-sexual-orientation-not-that-I'm-judging. It's hard to imagine anyone from the Akatsuki getting their swerve on actually. The only one that I can picture having a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever is probably Deidara... He is the youngest of the bunch, extremely handsome and, not to mention, he doesn't have an ice-cube for a personality.

Hidan and Itachi start the match. The muscles flexing and grunting commences.  
Everyone holds their breath... This is it... The final match before we all go back to being bored.  
"Hidan-san! Win!" shouts Deidara. "Don't let an Uchiha beat you, hm!"  
"Itachi-san..." grumbles Kakuzu, going to stand behind the brunet. "If I had to bet, I'd bet on you."  
Soon, two teams form... Team Hidan and Team Itachi.  
Team Hidan is composed of Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu. The first for an obvious reason and the other two because they simply believe that there are more chances for an immortal guy to win an arm wrestling match.  
Team Itachi is composed of Kisame (he's really supportive of Itachi), Kakuzu (he hates Hidan), Ryo, Yuuki and I (because Itachi is awesome and Hidan is a jackass).

A few minutes pass and both of the men are starting to look tired.  
We all hold our breath as the hands get close to Itachi's side of the table. Oh my gosh... Is he gonna lose?  
"NO! You're Itachi-freaking-Uchiha! You can't lose!" hollers Kisame frantically. "I believe in you man!"  
A new look of determination appears in the brunet's eyes and, with a grunt, he heaves his and Hidan's fists back to the center of the table.  
The hands continue to get from Hidan's side of the table to Itachi's side...  
A long time passes and it looks as if none of them are giving in... Ryo knows better than to try and distract someone this time, because making Hidan lose would probably result in an agonizingly slow death.

"None of these two stubborn shinobi are going to give in." mutters Sasori.  
"Why do you guys try so freaking hard? It's just an arm wrestling match." I sigh.  
"It's a point of pride in men. We want to be the physically strongest." explains the ninja.  
I chuckle.  
"Well, funny of you to be the one to say that, Sasori-sen-... Sasori-san." I grin. His big brown eyes look confused.  
"What makes you say that?"  
"Being a _man_? How can you say that when your junk and balls are probably floating in a jar somewhere?" I reply with as much tact as I can muster. I hope for my life that I'm not overstepping boundaries here.

Sasori gives me a look that clearly says that he'd rather not answer that.  
"Actually, she's got a point, hm." adds Deidara. "I've always wondered what you did with _it_ after converting your body into a puppet and replacing everything, except for your heart, with wood, hm. I wouldn't cut off my dick for power. Urg..." He makes a face. "How could you even bring yourself to do that?"  
"With... a lot of determination." Sasori then suddenly goes into full blown nostalgia mode. "I... remember... back when I had a penis, I used to pee my name in the sand of Suna. Now, pathetic human bodily functions are no longer a problem. No hunger, no need to sleep, no feelings..."  
"Yeah, but you still _literally_ have no balls." snorts Deidara.  
Sasori glares at him.  
"You've got to sacrifice certain things for immortality and power. My sacrifices may have been... inconvenient... but I am _immortal art_. Isn't it worth it?"  
Deidara shrugs.  
"I get it, hm. But still... chopping off you own dick... That takes a certain mindset..."

Everyone is so absorbed either by the two artists' metaphysical debate on whether cutting off your own junk for power is a fair trade, either by Hidan and Itachi's never ending arm wrestling match, that no one notices as Konan and Pein stroll down the staircase, into the common room.

* * *

**Phew, more characters introduced!**  
**And, seriously, am I the only one who wonders what Sasori did with his dick? Did he seriously just... chop it off? To my male readers (if I have any, or to my female readers with good imagination): would you cut off your own family jewels for immortality and great power? I personally don't know if it's a fair trade... I probably wouldn't. I can't even cut my own hair without being scared of screwing up...  
Cookies to any who can pick up any modern cultural references to songs/ movies/ shows I made (I somtimes write them unconciously, but it's always fun to have people point them out)!**

**Fun fact about dicks floating in jars: Did you know that there is a museum in Iceland that collects real penises (they now have a human one too)? Oh, you Icelanders ;p**  
**Yeah, I'm not joking, Google it. If you've been there before, please tell me how creepy it is!**

**OMG The latest chapter of Naruto were mind-blowing! I mean, I kinda saw it coming, but still... My OCs won't know about anything past... let's say, around the invasion of Konoha in Shippuden. And they're obviously gonna start forgetting stuff too (after years, you probably would too).**  
**I can't wait until we get the Kazekage and Gaara chapters in the anime!**

**So... I'll try to update sooner next time. Just remember, I am never giving up on my stories! If I am not updating, it's because I'm writing the next chapter, slowly but surely.**  
**Good luck for those starting school, high school (that's me!), university, work...!**  
**Love,**  
**HimekoUchia (Now... I'm going to be up all night imagining Sasori chopping his body parts off and replacing them with wood O.O )**


	38. Yuuki's Battle: Konoha Hospital

**HimekoUchia: For those who read "And Now I'm Stuck Here With You", you'll know what I'm about to say. Drive and cycle safely, guys, because my 17 friend has recently died in a cycling accident. It was sad and this type of thing really shouldn't happen. Be careful.  
Ryo: And she is updating late because of homework, exams, the usual school stuff... She's on holiday now. I'm finally narrating again!  
Yuuki: I'm no even withing ten kilometers of you guys...  
HimekoUchia: I'll let you narrate too, okay? Himeko should be joining you soon, anyways, since she is going to the hospital right now.  
Himeko: … *sigh* That was embarrassing. Why does the author do this to me?  
HimekoUchia: *gasp* I always forgot to include Himeko (the character) in the author's notes...  
Himeko: Geez, thanks a lot... and I'm your main character, too! The author is such lazy creep.  
Yuuki: Let's get her!  
Ryo: Yeah!  
Himeko: *meep* Mutiny! Mutiny! The characters are rebelling against the author!  
Ryo: *picking up meat cleaver* We don't own anything! Not even the material in the manga that HimekoUchia bought!  
HimekoUchia: What can I say? I read manga online, but I absolutely adore Naruto so I buy the manga when I get the chance. To support the author and all that. Enjoy the chapter! *runs away***

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_The green spandex clad ninja catches Gaara's gourd's cork when it flies at him. Wow, I didn't even see it._  
_"No need to get so impatient!" smiles Lee._  
_"Alright... Let the eleventh match begin!"_

* * *

**Ryo's POV**

There is an intense stare-down between the two dudes. Then Lee suddenly swoops across the arena and kicks Gaara's sand shield. The ninja then starts jumping around Gaara so fast that it looks as if he's teleporting. However, the sand is faster and it tosses the green clad boy across the arena.  
Immediately, the boy is up and he continues to rapidly kick and punch at Gaara's sand shield.

"His attacks just aren't working!" gasps Naruto, staring at Lee in horror.  
Kankuro, who had been talking to the blond genin earlier, grunts in reply.  
"Physical attacks are useless on Gaara. The sand forms a shield to protect his body independentally of Gaara's will. That's why, to this day there is not one person..."  
Kankuro turns to face us.  
"... who has ever landed a hit on him." he announces solemnly.  
"Except for that time when Himeko-chan bitch-slapped him across the face. Twice." I point out.

Naruto and Kankuro both chuckle at that.  
"Ah... It's hard to remember how creepy Gaara is once you mention stuff like that." hums the guy in the cat suit. Only, this catsuit is not as leathery, skintight or appealing as one would imagine. It mostly makes Kankuro look like an oversized potato in a batman outfit. Or an overweight house cat. Or Catwoman without the boobs. You get the picture.

I watch Gaara stand completely chilled as Lee continues to throw himself at his sand.  
Gai-sensei starts explaining how Lee doesn't know Genjustu or Ninjutsu so that's why he only uses Taijutsu. It kind of relates to my teammate's and my situation, only we can't use taijutsu either, just plain kungfu and random jutsus.  
I'm actually starting to wonder why we don't have chakra... Are we lacking something that they have? What about this energy? It works similarly to chakra and seems compatible to most sealing techniques but obviously can't be manipulated to the same extent.  
When my friends and I arrived in this world, we didn't exactly have the time to figure out all of the answers. We just accepted everything the way it was because... well, we made it into an alternate dimension. We've stopped asking ourselves questions by then.

Everybody's attention is suddenly drawn back to Lee (including my own) when he jumps on top of the stone hands at the far end of the arena.  
"Lee... Take them off!" shouts Gai.  
"B-But... Sensei! You said to never use that move unless protecting someone precious to me!" replies Lee, his eyes shining with determination.  
"It's alright! I'll allow it!" announces the older green clad ninja, giving his student a thumbs up.  
Lee's face lights up with a smile and he proceeds to take off his weights.

He drops them with a loud clang and suddenly he disappears.  
He then starts throwing punches and kicks at Gaara's sand shield again, however, this time, Lee jumps over the sand ninja and manages to kick him in the face.  
Oh, shit's starting to get serious! I frown as everyone around me gasps loudly.

Lee then sucker punches Gaara in the face, flinging the redhead across the arena in the process. Slowly, slowly, he then starts getting off the floor.  
"This is bad..." mutters Kankuro, his frame tightening in fear.  
"You got that right! After the way that racooned-eyed jerk just got hit, he shouldn't even still be standing!"  
"That's not what I meant..." says the puppet-nin through gritted teeth. I mentally prepared myself to be faced with a scary image.

Then it happened. Gaara got off the floor and revealed his mad, psychotic, bloodthirsty face. The face that could probably make Orochimaru piss his pants and cry himself to sleep. OK, maybe not, but it's still pretty darn scary.  
I am especially absorbed by the fact that Gaara's teeth as so. Freaking. _White_. How does he do that? In fact, how can all these ninja have such perfect teeth? My teammates and I had to have braces slapped on our pearly whites to achieve our smiles. Actually... I have never seen one of the ninja, no matter what their age or gender, brush their teeth. I truly hope that they do.

The redhead's face calms down a little as his whole body is covered by his sand armor.  
Lee then performs the Primary Lotus on Gaara, causing a huge cloud of sand and dust to fling up, and amount of suspense to hang in the arena's atmosphere.  
Once the smoke cleared, it is revealed that Gaara's body is nothing but a shell of sand. Suddenly, a tidal wave rushes towards the Konoha ninja and flattens him against a wall.  
Aw... Lee's definitely screwed.  
I huff to myself, my eyes not leaving the redhead's form. When he battles, he loses coolness and gains creepiness because, no matter how amazing his moves seem, the fact that he is pretty much killing Lee makes me sick to my stomach. Sure, both of the boy are fighting to win... But Gaara... The look in his eyes tell me that he wants to rip Lee to ribbons and feed whatever is left of the poor guy to his demon.

I completely ignore Kakashi and Gai's lecture on the Forbidden Lotus and chakra gates because I am too busy glaring at the back of Gaara's head.  
"The third gate, Gate of Life... Open!" shouts Lee, and my eyes shoot back at him. My jaw pops open at how incredibly horrifying he looks with bloodshot red skin, agonized eyes and blood pouring out of his nose-... Oh, thank god Yuuki isn't here...  
I flinch when Lee lets out a bloodcurdling scream as he opens the fourth gate, then he speeds across the arena, completely destroying the floor in the process.

Holy crap... I tighten my hold on the metal handrails. I duck as a piece of rock flies my way.  
Gaara gets thrown up in the air, getting passed again and again between Lee's furious kicks, as if he were a mere ping-pong ball getting bounced around. The sand can't keep up anymore and the redhead's armor starts peeling off.  
I honestly don't know if, right now, I'm more scared of Lee or of Gaara. I look sideways and see the look on Neji's face. Jaw-dropped and incredulous. I take a mental snapshot to show Himeko later.

Gaara's body is starting to make loud, cracking noises. I know that it's just the sand coming off, but it resembles eerily to the sound of snapping bones.  
Lee opens the fifth Gate and, with one last shout and punch, he throws Gaara into a Hidden Lotus, causing the whole room to tremble and shake.  
For a second, I get invaded with a sickening feeling of paranoia and wonder if the building is going collapse and fall on top of our heads.  
It doesn't.

Gaara's body connecting with the ground sounds like a bomb, completely destroying everything in it's way.  
Lee rolls to the side of the impact, obviously having reached his last trump card.  
The smoke clears and reveals Gaara, pretty much unscathed-... Oh, wow, how is he not broken into a million tiny pieces? Is his sand really that efficient and soft? Either way, this ninja is a tank. A ginger tank.

Said ninja extends his arm towards Lee, his sand snaking around the weakened boy's limbs, and tightens his fist.  
I close my eyes, but I can still picture the scene just by listening to Lee's gut-wrenching screams of agony echo in my head. I pop an eyelid open just in time to watch Gai push the sand away from his student, under Gaara's absolutely horrified gaze.

The suna-nin suddenly looks in as if he's having a massive migraine. He grabbed the sides of his head, before slowly lifting his trembling face towards the adult.  
"Why are you helping him?" Gaara seems to choke on the words.  
Gai has a small flashback moment before giving the redhead a grave look.  
"Because... He's my beloved comrade."

The sand ninja stands up and starts glaring daggers at everything around him.  
"Forget it." he huffs monotonously, walking away from the chaos that he caused.  
"The winner is Gaara!" announces the proctor, though that was an obvious statement, judging by how completely and utterly defeated Lee is-...

Aaaaand he's standing up. I rub my eyes to make sure that I am not hallucinating.  
His leg is ripped to shreds, bones and all! How is he supposed to stand up? Magic green suit? Steroids?  
"Lee... It's over... You're in no shape to be standing..." Gai sensei's voice trails off when he realizes that Lee is still out cold, just very tenacious.  
I take a deep breath as Gai starts sobbing. This is... incredible. Lee is incredible. I have no words to describe my respect for him right now.

Gai pulls his student into a hug, under Gaara's sharp glare. Then, for some reason, Gaara looks up at the balconies to glare at _me_.  
Well... _Someone_ misses Himeko's hugs already... Not my fault that she's currently in the hospital. Or that he's a creepy bastard who nearly killed Lee.  
I don't know if it's my anger, or if it's the fact that Himeko's recklessness is rubbing of on me, but I glare right back at Sabaku no Gaara.  
Whilst I am glad that Himeko wasn't here to see her oh-so-loved-one mash our friend up in live, part of me wishes that she was. So that she could see for herself how absolutely charming Gaara is.  
She knows what he is capable of. How can she still like him that way? I hate that she does. She is my best friend. The only person that I can really call family.  
I swear... If Gaara hurts her...  
I tighten my grasp on my kunai. What? What would I do? What could I do?  
I honestly don't know. I hope that I will never have to find out.

The medics rush in to save Lee and for a few minutes, everyone recovers from the shock of the previous match. I hear the doctor say that Lee will never be a shinobi again...  
That's horrible... Wait. He will get better right? I think so. Yes, he will. Right, Tsunade will make him all better in the near future. It's kind of hard to remember what will happen next, since I am living it. And the all the blood and snapped bones are really hard to ignore.  
I silently beg whatever deity that's up there to make sure that Lee pulls through. He's way too inspirational and awesome to not be able to accomplish his dream.

"Well... It's the finale match. The 12th battle. May the last two contestants please step forward!" coughs Hayate.  
Choji and Dosu take the stage.  
"Begin!" announced the proctor, before moving out of harm's way.  
Choji uses a jutsu to make his body look like a gigantic meatball and he rolls towards Dosu...  
Only to crash into a wall.  
The sound ninja uses Choji's water weight to send his sound waves through the "pleasantly plump" teenager's body.  
All in all, an embarrassingly short and anticlimactic match. I notice the rest of Team Asuma sigh. In their defense, Choji's jutsu was quite cool.

"The winner is... Dosu Kinuta!" shouts Hayate. "Um... As of this moment, the preliminary rounds for the third phase of this exam are now complete!"

I let out a breath I didn't know that I was holding and let my head drop forward for a second.  
Hallelujah... I don't think that I can stand seeing anymore of my friends getting beaten up, even in with my newly acquired shinobi mindset. I am first and foremost a human, not a killer-ninja-beast-machine.

All of us genin who won our matches gather in the lower part of the arena, avoiding the areas completely pulverized by Lee's attacks.  
"To all of you who won your matches and qualified for the finals... Although two of you aren't here... Congratulations!" says the proctor, his face looking as placid as ever.

He moves aside to let Gollum-... Ah, I mean the third Hokage!... address us.  
"Well then... Starting now I shall begin explaining the finals..." smiles the old man, chewing on the end of his pipe.

He then goes on about nations and honor and lords coming to see us battle...  
"OK... Now, Anko is going to pass around a box with slips of paper in it. Take one each."  
I hold my breath. This is it. I've got to do this right or Himeko and I will be in deep shit. I quickly slip to the front of the line and awkward put my hand up.  
"Should I take one for my teammate as well? The first number I pick will be her's. Like this, whichever number left will be Sasuke-san's." I suggest, flashing Anko my nicest smile. She shrugs and turns to the Hokage for permission.  
The man nods and I exhale in relief. This makes things so much simpler.

The second my hand touches the box, I immediately start searching the object's memories.  
I originally thought that this power wasn't as cool as slipping in and out of someone's senses or telekenetics, but darn, it's so convenient. Especially now. If it weren't for it, this would be a far more difficult task that may or may not have ended with us having to forfeit all of our matches. Actually, if one of us ended up against Gaara, things would have been all messed. I shiver at the thought.

I locate the two biggest numbers and pull them out one at the time. 11 and 10.  
I mentally do a happy dance. Perfect, now the order of the matches shouldn't be all messed up, since I removed the change our presence in this world had caused.  
All of the other genin pick a number out of the box, then we are asked to read them out.  
"Himeko-chan has number 11. I'm number 10." I say, trying to avoid the suspicious looks, probably wondering how I got these two numbers in particular. I shrug, then mutter:  
"Not my fault you didn't mix it properly."

Once everyone gave their numbers, Ibiki Morino shows us the tournament pairings.  
In the first bracket: Uzumaki Naruto vs Hyuga Neji and Gaara (why doesn't his family have any last name?) vs Uchiha Sasuke.  
In the second bracket: Kankuro vs Aburame Shino and Temari vs Nara Shikamaru. I frown when I realize that Dosu picked one number bigger than what I had expected. Then again, this makes things ever better.  
Third bracket: Murakami Ryo vs Tanaka Himeko, and the winner of that match will be up against Dosu Kinuta.

The third Kazekage goes on a little about the tournament, about how all or none of us can become chuunin and-... Well I mostly just stared at his goatee bob up and down as he talked.  
"Well then... Good work all! You are all dismissed until one month from now!" announced the old man.

I turn on my heels, planning on escaping this damn tower, running through fields and chase butterflies and shit. However, I am rooted to spot by one Sabaku no Gaara's glare of doom.  
He looks away once he realizes that I am looking at him, but I keep on glaring at him. It's kind of a tension releasing, actually.

I let most of the people file out of the room, until we are two of the only people left.  
Gaara slowly turns his head in my direction.  
"Stop glaring. You irritate me." he growled. "If you have something to say to me, say it."  
My jaw pops open. Says the guy who was trying to burn me to ashes with his eyes just now! What a hypocrite...

I clear my throat and walk up to him, my nicest smile plastered to my face.  
"Well, since Himeko-chan isn't in the room, I think that I will take the liberty of being very honest with you." I huff, crossing my arms. Gaara's face is completely blank as he glues his eyes to mine. "I respect Hime's choice, but I don't like that she puts so much of her heart into being kind to you. Don't get me wrong, man, I don't hate you. Quite on the contrary, in fact, I find you insanely awesome. But my friend's safety comes before my opinions. Call me a naggy, overprotective bestfriend but, if I had my way, I would prefer it if Himeko were interested in a less... _violent_ person. Even if she is creepy and annoying, she is kindhearted and caring. I swear, if you hurt her, you will have to deal with me, no matter how scary I find you sometimes."  
I take a deep breath and straighten my back.  
"OK, I'm done with my rant."

Gaara stays silent for a few seconds, then asks me a question that I didn't expect from him at all.  
"What are you to her, if you talk about her like that?"  
I widen my eyes and scratch the back of my head.  
"I already told you. Naggy, overprotective bestfriend."  
The redhead crosses his arms.  
"You don't act like it. You act like... more."

I laugh a little and shrug.  
"Oh, yeah, we're French. It always looks like that."  
"That's a ridiculous excuse." hisses Gaara, suddenly looking a little pissed. I raise an eyebrow, feeling amusement overrun the nervousness of being in the same room as the boy.  
"Really? Hime uses it all the time to excuse her inappropriate behavior. You never said anything to her about it. Actually, Hime has made you go through quite a lot of embarrassing situations and you've never said _anything _against her." I point out, trying not to annoy the heck out of Gaara, but I still want this answer.

Gaara's eyes sharpen.  
"I did. Once."  
"Really? What happened?" I ask. I don't remember Gaara pissing Himeko off. I didn't think that it was possible-... Oh.  
The redhead slowly motions to his cheek, which still holds a fading bruise. Right. He got Hime-bitchslapped.  
"Ah. Yeah, she does that a lot. You called her stupid, didn't you?"

Gaara's dark silence answers the questions. I can't help the angry look that invades my face.  
"I suggest that you never do that again. It makes her touchy and there is a reason for that. It hurts her ego, her pride and _her_." I explain, trying to stay vague. No need to dump too much info on Gaara in one go.  
"Why should I care?" snaps the redhead back at me.

Oh, wow, I never knew that Gaara was so... irritating. It makes him seem so human in some ways, that I was torn between being furious or telling him to stop being a little brat. I go for the first.  
"Because Himeko would never do that to you! She would never use low blows! She would never call you a demon. A monster. A murderer. An unloved child..."  
I trail off when met with the most terrifying glare I've ever seen on Gaara's face. I shiver unintentionally. I might have gone way too far. I don't wanna die.  
"See?" I add in a whisper. "It hurts. She would never say those things to you because she cares about you."

I notice sand starting to flow out of the redhead's gourd. Well, screw this. I not running from him, even if he is (extremely) terrifying.  
"You say it..." hisses Gaara.  
"I don't mean to piss you off. I say it because I care about _her_." I reply as calmly as possible. Wow, I feel as if I am soothing a rabid dog or something.  
"I could kill you." suddenly deadpans Gaara, all traces of emotion vanishing from his face.

I grind my teeth together, my legs aching to run. I don't. If things get too dirty, I could always try teleporting myself out of the room (hopefully I won't leave any pieces behind).  
I stand my ground.  
"You definitely could. You won't be proving much. And.. Well, I don't mean to be egocentric, but I am pretty sure that you killing me... Is one of the _only _things that you could do that will make Himeko hate. Your. Guts. And who wants to be hated? Especially by her. I mean, you saw how she kicked Kabuto in the nuts that one time." I use my fingers to comb my hair away from my eyes. This is so nerve wrecking. I am here, rambling on, whilst Gaara is just standing there silently, glaring at me. "I don't know what you think of Himeko, Gaara-san, but I can tell you, right now... She is probably the only person who can look into your eyes and say that you are very, very important to her. I mean, yes, your siblings do care about you, but they fear you. Himeko isn't even that scared of you, because she looks past your crap-... um, exterior façade or whatever... and she sees more."

Gaara actually looks a little taken aback by my last argument.  
"... What does she see?" he asks, anger seeping back into his voice.  
"I don't know." I reply honestly. "She knows you better than I do because she likes hanging around you. I like you, but when I'm in the same room as you I don't get an urge to speak to you, I get an urge to go into the next room because the look on your face isn't exactly inviting."  
I check the time displayed on the big screen at the back of the arena.  
"Gaara-san, I've got to join the rest of the people leaving. I can't teleport like you can and I don't want to end up hiking alone through the Forest of Death. Plus, I've got to go find Yuuki and make sure that she's fine. I don't trust that guy that she left with..." I mumble the last part, turning to walking out of the room.

Before crossing the double doors, I swiftly glance backwards to make sure that there is no killer sand rushing after me.  
Nope. Nothing. Literally nothing. Gaara isn't even there anymore.  
I let out a long, shaky breath, rejoicing in being alive. I then quickly jog to catch up with the others.

* * *

**Yuuki's POV**

Deep breathing. Spider crawling up the hospital wall. A small whimper of pain. Simba silently glancing up at me in concern with his small, round, kitty eyes.  
My hands are trembling, even if I grab onto my pants are firmly as I can.  
I try not to feel, smell or see the man besides me.  
I should just leave. He doesn't need me with him. We don't even know each other.  
But I can't. I can't just leave him here.

The doctor gives me a tap on the shoulder, making me jump up in the air.  
"Whoah... Miss... We're going into the next room to get him medication and a blood transfusion. Keep him awake until we get back, OK?" he asks me soothingly.  
I widen my eyes in horror as the medic exits the room. No.  
No. No. No. No. Don't leave me here alone with him!

"H-Hey..." comes the grass-nin's raspy voice. "You OK, pretty girl?"  
I shake my head. I'm most definitely not OK. Why did they remove the bandages? He's covered in blood. He's so bloody. I'm going to be sick. Simba starts pacing the room, as if he can feel my mood.  
"Hm... My eyes are getting droopy... Please... Pretty girl, look at me." begs the voice.  
I bite my lip until I almost cut myself.  
_Hey, little sister... Please, look at me..._

I gulp and turn my head to look at the man.  
Friendly brown eyes, looking up at me from that bloody, bloody face.  
_W-Why is there so much blood? It's coming from everywhere! You're eyes, your mouth, you nose... Oh, God, please, tell me what I can do!_  
The feeling of faintness starts to hit me because of my haemophobia, but it suddenly disappears when Shigeri grins at me.  
My I clench my hand into a fist. This shouldn't be happening. I should be fainting or screaming right now. Why am I still conscious? I don't want to be. I just want to pass out.. to escape this sight the fastest way possible. Like a coward.

How can he be smiling? He's in so much pain... What can I say? What can I do?  
_There's nothing anyone can do anymore. It's gonna be alright Viviane... I'm gonna... be joining... Mom and dad soon... You and Constantin will stay together, OK? You'll both be fine. Now get out of here... Hey! Don't cry... Everything is going to be alright..._  
"Everything is going to be alright Tristan." I smile, ruffling the man's brown hair. I avoid looking at his absolutely butchered leg. I don't want to puke all over the poor guy.  
"Cool..." chuckles the boy. He lost so much blood. He is probably delusion by now.  
So am I.

"I hope my mother isn't too worried... She is the craziest bat sometimes... But she's my mommy, you know? And my little sister... well, I particularly raised her, yah know?" he chuckles, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.  
_Do you know how hard it is raising you? I'm only 19!_  
"I know... I'm sorry Constantin..." I mumble, sniffling back tears. It's not my fault that he ended up having to raise me. But with the rest of our family gone, my eldest brother was the only one who could take the job. I tried to make myself as easy to take care of as possible, but I couldn't help the arguments. I never got along really well with Constantin. I got along really well with Tristan though. Until he died. Then there was that accident with Constantin and-...  
I shake my head to clear my thoughts, though they are gnawing on my conscience right now.

The grass-nin gives me a confused look.  
"No... Wait... I'm not Constantin. Or Tristan. I'm Shigeri!" he announces, as if he had just found the solution to an exceedingly difficult puzzle.  
"Right. It's gonna be OK, Shigeri!" I chuckle, taking my hand away from his face and wiping my bloody fingers on the armchair.  
"Yeah... The doctor said that he was coming back soon..." mutters Shigeri.  
_No... Viviane... Constantin already went to get a doctor... It's too late. Mom and dad are already dead. You two should just leave. Before you two catch it too... Just let me be. Pray for me somewhere else._  
"Yes. The doctor is coming, you'll be fine." I smile, grabbing onto the bed frame to stop my hand from trembling.

"H-Hey... You don't look so good. You should go lie down if you d-don't feel well..." coughs the man, looking up at me with concerned eyes.  
I don't even know this guy. Why is he being so sweet to me? Is it his blood loss that is making him drowsy? He answers my silent question.  
"You... You look like my little sister. She's pretty and nice, just like you." he smiles.

I shut my eyes for a moment. That is the worst answer that he could have given me.  
I hear footsteps enter the room.  
"We've got the blood for a transfusion! This man will be fine. You can leave now, miss." announces the doctor, his calm voice soothing me a bit.  
I crack my eyes open and get up.  
"Bye bye, pretty girl!" grins Shigeri, wiggling his fingers at me.  
"Bye..." I wave to the man and dart out of the room, Simba rushing after me with a meow.

Once I am out, I lean against the sliding doors. I take deep, ragged breaths, trying to calm my frantic heartbeat.  
Slowly, I start dragging my feet across the polished floor, holding my self up by pressing my palm against the wall, noticing with horror that I am leaving blood marks on the white paint.  
"Oh God... I'm..." I gag, urging my legs to not give out now. I can't be so helpless when my friends aren't around to help me. They're the only people I trust to keep me safe if I am unconscious.

Not knowing what else to do, I follow Simba, who seems to be leading me somewhere.  
What a strange animal... It seems to know what I am feeling and thinking.  
The cat stops in front of a door and I almost laugh out loud when I realize that he led me to the bathroom.  
"I'm on to you, Simba! You must be a witch, or something... Hm..." I grin, poking the feline's head. He looks up at me with unamused eyes and I enter the bathroom.  
Locking myself in a cubicle, I feel relieved to be in a tiny, private space. I finally get sick, emptying out my breakfast and lunch.

The blood... It was so disgusting... So scary...  
The way it flows out of wounds... The way it hurts so much...

I was my face in the sink, looking up at my reflection in the large mirror.  
"I look like shit..." I mutter, poking at the dark bag under my eyes.  
Why? Why can't I handle myself as well as my teammates? Why am I the only one still haunted with all of those horrible, horrible memories...  
I arrange my hair and clothes to look presentable before exiting the bathroom.

I am standing in the corridors once again. I suddenly feel very alone.  
What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go now?  
I don't have the strength or determination to drag my butt back to the hotel room right now.  
I walk to the nearest hospital bench and plop myself down in it, letting Simba jump onto my lap. I start petting him, wishing with all my heart that me friends would come soon.  
"You wouldn't leave me, won't you?" I smile at the animal. "You won't die? Anyways, you have nine lives... Even if you were to fall out of a ten story building, you would be just fine!"

* * *

**Ryo's POV**

"She's still unconscious. Her wounds have been treated and she should be waking up soon. Will you be staying with her?" the doctor looks up from his clipboard to stare me down.  
"I have to find someone first. I will be back with our other teammate once I find her. Has anyone seen a blond girl who looks vaguely familiar to Himeko?" I ask him.  
Every medic suddenly gives me an long look. A feeling of dread feels me.  
"Is your teammate by any chance, a young girl with a cat who accompanied a severely wounded grass ninja to the emergency ward?" finally questions one of the nurses.

I feel my blood freeze over.  
"Yes. That's her. Is she still here? Did something happen?" I cross my fingers, hoping for the best.  
The doctors nod.  
"She is... here. On the third floor. She has been sitting there for quite some time. She didn't respond to any of our questions. She seemed to be... communicating with the feline." sighs the medic.

"Ah. I will be back as soon as I can!" I shout, running out of the room, up the stairs and come to a halt in front of Yuuki's sitting form. Once I catch my breath, I wave at Simba who is looking up at me with relieved eyes. Creepy cat.  
"Yuu-chan? Are you OK?" I ask softly, knowing that she is probably having a bad day.  
She looks up at me and smiles.

"Tristan?" she asks, excitement filling her voice. I flinch.  
Oh. Oh. It must have been the blood. How do I deal with this?  
Himeko warned me that if she doesn't faint due to her haemophobia, this would happen instead.  
"No." I reply, slipping into the seat next to her.  
"Constantin?" she asks, the joy in her eyes only dimming slightly.  
"No... No... I'm sorry, Viviane. I'm Ryo. You know... Charles." I sigh, biting my tongue when she suddenly remembers where she is.

"Ryo! Where is Sara? I mean, Himeko?" she asks, trying to force a grin onto her face. I see her lip start to tremble.  
"She's fine. She passed out after her match. We both won. Do you want to go see her now or...?" I inform, bracing myself.  
Yuuki nods yes, then shakes her head no, tears starting to stream down her face. I pull her into a hug and let her sob into my chest, nod really knowing what else I can do.  
"Wh-why? Why did it have to happen?" she cries. "G-God, why does it still hurt so damn much?"  
I rub her back, placing my head on top of her blond one.  
"Sometimes things... Just happen. This might sound harsh but, eventually, time does heal all wounds. You'll feel better. Look at Himeko and I. We're fine now... Well, at least I think we are. The memories that you have of Constantin are more recent than the ones your cousin or I have of our families, so they still haven't stopped hurting yet. Somehow, they always will hurt, but it will become bearable, I promise. So, in the mean time, if any of us need a hug, we've got each other." I give her shoulders one last rub, place Simba on my head and stand up, pulling her off her seat with me. She giggles.

"Y-You have a cat on your head!" she laughs, wiping away her tears. I grin and give her a tissue. She loudly blows her nose then laughs again.  
"Aw... I look like crap. I can't walk around like this..." she mutters.  
I start tugging her arm towards the stairs.  
"You don't. Just wash your face and smile, then no one will notice anything! Remember, we came to this place to start a new, crazier life. Breath in this... slightly stuffy hospital air. Do It."

Yuuki takes a deep breath.  
"Yup. I did it."  
"How do you feel?" I ask.  
"Um... better?"  
"Yep. Because that is the smell of us being alive. So let's enjoy it, OK?"

Yuuki nods and gives me a long look. She then punches me in the shoulder.  
"Ow."  
"You know what, Ryo?" she grins, poking her finger into my cheek. "You're cool. And make really deep inspirational speeches. I'm glad that you and Himeko decided to be Naruto geek bestfriends. Or else, I never would have met you. I'm glad we met, Ryo."  
I get warm, fuzzy tingles in my heart when I hear her say that (not that I will ever admit that out loud. I'm no girl).  
"I'm glad that we met too, Yuuki."  
I sling an arm across her shoulders and she does the same.

"Now, let's go back to Himeko before she wakes up and creeps the medics out."

* * *

**GASP Gaara didn't kill Ryo! There is a reason he didn't... That only I know! Muahahah! Meh, Gaara didn't kill Naruto when he was throwing 'raccon-eyed jeark' or 'browless freak' around, so I presume that Gaara isn't always on a bloodthirsty rampage. Plus, Ryo likes Gaara and didn't mean to offend him, so, since Gaara is reasonable (pfffhaha not really) human being, he didn't kill my friend, OK? I know that I'll get at least one review complaining about OCCness, so I'm justifying myself here!**

**Gasp 2 a chapter without Himeko in it. Is that a good thing? She is the main narrator, but since she passed out, I can't really use her right now. I like writing with the other two's POVs, though it's harder.**

**GASP 3 they have western names! Well, yeah, I don't see many French people who go around with names like "Yuuki", "Himeko" or "Ryo" in our world. They just go by their Japanese names now because it makes more sense where they are. So... Why did I chose those names?**

**Viviane, Constantin and Tristan: Well, the cousin that I based Yuuki's character off of has a really eccentric, old school names in her family. She, and all of her siblings, have names that sound like they belong to "Knights of the Round Table" (one of her brothers is actually named ****after one of the knights). So I decided that that was a cool idea, googled the names of the knights and chose two for Yuuki's brothers. Lady Viviane is the lake fairy.**

**Charles: I asked the guy Ryo is based off of to pick a name from a list. He picked Charles XD. Charles is a classic, awesome name. So many Charles in French literature and history and nobility! Nice choice.**

**Sara: As you know, Himeko means "little princess". So my OC is named after Sara Crewe, the original "Little Princess". You know, the book.**

**GASP 3 they have sad pasts! Well... That is a Naruto cast must, apparently. Don't worry, none of their pasts involve mass clan murders or demons. I'm trying to avoid creating Mary Sues here XD. Most Naruto characters have pretty interesting pasts anyway, so I'm not passing up the opportunity to give my OCs back stories. I've got to explain how they came to be.**  
**We've only seen a hint of Yuuki's past so far. More will come. All in good time. Starts to explain her haemophobia. And yes, I did my medical research before pouring in her random flashbacks about her brothers. Internet waffle points to anyone who can guess what happened to Tristan and her parents. And Constantin.**

***sigh* I constantly feel the need to justify myself, because I fear people going all hacksaw on me. If there is something bugging you about my story, feel free to ask for explanations but, remember... shhhhh... Everything will make sense in good time!  
... This was a long author's note.**

**Whoah, sorry for the late update, hope you liked the longest chapter ever!**  
**Review and I will give you... this insanely expensive graphic calculator I had to buy because I'm in high school now (I mean, seriously, it's just a hunk of plastic and circuits, why does it cost so much?)!**  
**Peace, love and ignoring holiday homework,**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (seriously, homework, please disappear)**


	39. Hospital Visits And More Hyuga Drama

**HimekoUchia: Hah the world didn't end! Sorry for lateness. IGCSE mocks then a awesome school trip to Thailand kept me pretty busy. I'm on holiday now and I will hopefully be updating more (though I honestly don't know how I manage to eat up to much time doing nothing)...  
Yuuki: Careful guys, the waterworks are coming *contains spoiler for latest chapter*-...  
HimekoUchia: *sobs* My friend from school (a buff guy BTW) and I were going on about how COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY heartbroken we were! NEJI DIES WAAAAAATTT? NOOOOO! Why?! *rolls on floor crying*  
I freaking loved that guy. I mean, it was sad enough when Shikaku and Inoichi died, but NEJI? A young character with so much potential? THAT'S AWFUL!  
I don't know what I'll do about it when my story reaches that point (if it eventually does). I might keep him alive if it arranges the story's plot and because I could never, ever, ever kill Neji. Unless I decide to honor Kishimoto-sama's plot. Currently undecided.  
Chapter dedicated to Hyuga Neji. RIP, you died a true hero and it was not in vain. We'll never forget you *cries*  
Ryo & Yuuki & Himeko & and all my other fellow Naruto fans: *cries more over how sad they are about Neji's death(  
HimekoUchia: O****nce again, I do own my dreams. ****And my OCs. Nothing else.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_Yuuki nods and gives me a long look. She then punches me in the shoulder._  
_"Ow."_  
_"You know what, Ryo?" she grins, poking her finger into my cheek. "You're cool. And make really deep inspirational speeches. I'm glad that you and Himeko decided to be Naruto geek bestfriends. Or else, I never would have met you. I'm glad we met, Ryo."_  
_I get warm, fuzzy tingles in my heart when I hear her say that (not that I will ever admit that out loud. I'm no girl)._  
_"I'm glad that we met too, Yuuki."_  
_I sling an arm across her shoulders and she does the same._

_"Now, let's go back to Himeko before she wakes up and creeps the medics out."_

* * *

**Himeko POV**

I open my eyes. Ryo and Yuukki are looking down at me.  
"Hime! You're finally awake!" smiles my cousin.  
"Urgh... Monkeys having a water fight... T-That girl... she fell into an empty pool and got amnesia. Then this o-other girl made some long ass speech on the environment... sushi..." I explain, blinking the purple dots out of my vision.  
Ryo laughs.  
"Well, she's OK."

I try to sit up, but my friends and a medic hold me down. I look up at him, worried.  
"I've got to know... Did I break a bone?" I ask frantically.  
The man shakes his head.  
"No, the bone wasn't reached so-..."  
"HELL YEAH!" I cheer. "Never have I ever broken a bone is still on!"  
The doctor looks at me, exasperated and continues.

"No broken bone. However, the sword was actually poisoned. You bled so much, though, that you cleaned the venom out of your system by yourself. We healed you wounds and bandaged your leg. However, since the cut was quite deep, you will need to rest for a few days or it will reopen. Avoid any physical activities for the rest of the week and make sure not to further injure yourself. You were bleeding internally." deadpans the medic monotonously. I nod.  
"OK. Thanks. Can I get up now?" I ask.

"No. You need to stay in the hospital for at least one or two more day before we can discharge you so that we can make sure that you don't have any concussions or any psychological trauma." he responds.  
I make a face.  
"But... But... I really need to pee." I whisper.

The medic sighs and points to the door.  
"Bathrooms are at the end of the hall. Walk slowly."  
Then he leaves. I think that I must have creeped him out. Yay.

Once he is out of earshot, my team gathers closer. Simba jumps on my pillow and licks my face. Kawaii!  
"Tsk. Hime-chan, this is embarrassing. We won out matches, but we are probably the only winners to have ended up in such a sad state. We kinda suck." points out Ryo.  
"It was a close call for both of us. Next time we might not be so lucky. We've got to do some more training." I agree. "So, Yuu-chan, where did you go?"

My cousin flinches for a second, making me frown.  
"I helped that grass-nin find a medic that would teleport us to the hospital. He was so bloody, it was painful to watch." she mutters and I mentally give her a pat.  
"He could have found his way by himself.." mumbles Ryo, frustration showing in his eyes. My frown grows deeper. Well, my friend is usually more kind-hearted than that. What's up with him?  
"I'm not that useless. I can live." she pokes the boy.  
"Never said you were useless. You just didn't have to help that guy." says Ryo in a tone that obviously indicates that he wants the conversation to end.

"This suuucks. I hate having my leg bandaged up. It feels weird." I groan.  
Yuuki eyes my wound in disgust.  
"Does it hurt?" she asks, drawn in by a sick fascination of the morbid, as long as it wasn't bloody.  
"Nope! I pretty sure that they gave me a shit ton of drugs." I chuckle. "Hopefully, it will last. I do not want to accidentally tear the cut open and feel that pain. That would probably be unbearable."  
"Urg, I hate cut wounds the most. Well, almost the most. It's just that... the blood flows so freely it's like it _never _stops. The idea of internal bleeding is still more gruesome though." she shivers, making a gag face.

We chat for another few minutes then Ryo checks the clock on the wall.  
"Hime-chan... It's the end of visiting hours, we've got to go. The medic said that they would bring you a pair of crutches later, so that you can make your way around the hospital, as well as something to eat. Oh course, I brought some cookies for you in case it's gross." he winks, slipping the small bag under my pillow. I grin.  
"Awesome. Thanks man."  
"We'll wait until you get discharged before finding Simba's owners. So get well soon!" smiled my cousin, slapping me softly on the cheek, but still hard enough to make my head ache a little.  
My teammates both turn to leave, though as Yuuki leaves the threshold, Ryo gives me a knowing look, quickly rushes back to my bedside and nods.  
He shoves his memories into my head, then leaves.

I check behind the partitions in my room and realize with relief/disappointment that I am completely alone.  
I dim the lights and think about what I have just seen .  
Like how terrible I looked when I was puking blood all over the arena. And Gaara's match.  
Ouch. I feel a wave of anger and sadness seep into my head. That boy... no matter how much I love him, it's hard to forget who he really is.  
A mentally unstable shinobi. It sickens me to see how he treated Lee during his match. The green clad genin is truly lucky to be alive, Gaara was definitely planning on killing him.  
Gross. Sick. Disgusting. Horrible. Scary.

Strangely enough, Ryo had abruptly cut off his memory just as everyone started filing out of the arena, then I got nothing more after that. He is definitely hiding something.  
"Eh, whatever, he can have his privacy." I sigh out loud. "I trust him not to do anything bad."

After I awkwardly hobble my way to the bathroom and back, the medics return with food. I am no fan of hospital grub, however I am starving enough to eat most of it.  
The second the doctors leave I start slowly munching on a cookie. If I eat too many, then the sugar will stop me from sleeping.  
"But I'm still _so_hungry..." I mutter to no one, staring at the ceiling.

In the near distance, I hear the muffled sound of Naruto's shouts. He must be trying to visit Sasuke or something.  
Oh, I've got to do that. I should hang out with the hospital crew tomorrow.

I try to fall asleep, however my leg is starting to get really uncomfortable and itchy. Well, at least it doesn't hurt-...  
HOLY SHIT the door just opened. My heart jumps to my throat and I quickly grab my katana that was laid beside me on the table.  
I frown, trying to calm my heartbeat so that I can focus on knocking out whoever came to murder me. Something big and dark slips into my room, and it's only when the shape speaks that I realize who it is.

"Hey there Himeko-chan!" grins Kankuro, quietly closing the door behind him.  
My panic dims a little, but I narrow my eyes suspiciously.  
"Wait! Why would you visit me? How do I know that you're really Kankuro and not some creepy sound ninja who slaughtered the medics and are here to inappropriately touch me?" I hiss, pointing my weapon towards the guy.  
The puppet-nin puts his hands up, taken aback.  
"Woah, Himeko... I am Kankuro. Kankuro, chocolate abs, perv, creepy X-rated porno guy who does laundry and protected you from virtual tower zombies. Remember?" he huffs.  
I smile, but keep my weapon out.  
"OK, I believe that it's you. Why are you here? Did I do something that pissed you off? You're not here to rape me or anything?" I question.  
He shakes his head.  
"Nope."  
I smile, putting away my weapon. I turn the light up enough to be able to see him.  
"Just checking."

He plonks himself down in the chair besides my bed.  
"I just came to visit. Partly because I was bored and didn't want to be cooped up with my team and partly because I wanted to see if you died." he explains.  
I blink.  
"Well... That's nice of you... I guess."

"You made a bloody mess of the arena." he points out, leaning forward against the armrest. "With the whole puking and bleeding."  
"That's so embarrassing..." I groan. "... On the spot, it hurt too much for me to care, though."  
He chuckled like the sadistic Suna-nin he is.  
"Still hurt?" he grins.  
"Eh, no. I'm high on morphine here." I smile.  
"You seem fine to me. That's good." he chuckles.  
I get a little gooey-hearted at how nice Kankuro is. It makes me wish that I had an elder brother.

"So... how was Gaara-kun's match?" I try, even if I already know what happened. I just want to converse with the guy.  
The ninja frowns.  
"Well... Feel lucky that you weren't there. It was horrible... Very... Gaara-like. I have never seen him lose control like that in... a very long time." he replies, picking his words carefully.  
"Ryo-kun gave me a... very detailed recount of what happened. Frightening, was he?" I smile, gently rubbing my leg to get rid of the itch the bandages are giving me.  
"If you know what he did..." huffs Kankuro, eyes narrowing. "... Can you still like him?"  
I chew on my tongue for a second.  
"I am pissed and angry about what he did to Lee. It was unnecessarily cruel and bloody. However... part of me will always like him no matter what. I think. For sure, I won't be eloping with him any time soon." I grin to lighten up the atmosphere, giving the puppet-nin a little punch in the arm.  
It works and he laughs.  
"I hope not. You're crazy, but I don't think that you're crazy enough for that... I think." he replies.  
"Nah, I'm young and, right now, trying to be friends with Gaara already sounds like a risky idea as it is. Urg... Imagine if I were dating him right now? What do you think that would be like?" I chuckle.

He gives me a long look.  
"It would make Gaara a better person." he says, his voice losing its usual joking tone .  
I turn to look at him with wide, shocked eyes. I was not expecting that.  
"What?" I frown.  
He shrugs.  
"He acts more... natural around you. He is still all blank-faced and everything, but he doesn't look as if he is forcing a mask on his face. I don't really know how to explain it." he sighs, giving me a tentative smile.

I lift an eyebrow.  
"He's your brother, you've known him for longer than I have so I'll just have to take your word for it." I lie back and look at the ceiling. "I won't try to get with him right now. I want to but... I'm a huge coward when it comes to these things. And Gaara is pretty intimidating."  
"Oh, _now_ you're scared? I honestly don't understand you some times." Kankuro laughs.  
"I'm pretty weird. It's genetic. Look at Yuuki. She's my cousin." I point out.  
"You are confusing. Even more so than Gaara." sighs the boy. "Girls. By the way, you're match really was cool. I thought that you were going to lose though, no offense."  
I giggle.

"Really? I bled all over the place..."

"Yeah. Well, I still cheered for you, of course." beams the puppet-nin. "It was a pleasant surprise to see you win. And I'm probably not going to be up against you in the next matches since we're not in the same bracket, so I can afford staying on good terms. Though you lack muscle, you are still impressive when it comes to fighting."  
"I do my best with what I have. You did great, of course. However, not everyone is lucky enough to be strong, smart, powerful, tall, muscly and sexy." I poke him.  
"Aw, thanks Hime-chan!"  
"I was talking about Sasuke Uchiha but..."  
"Aw..." Kankuro fakes a sad expression.  
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Wow, I'm such a bitch. Though Sasuke is pretty cool, he doesn't have chocolate-abs." I give him a thumbs up.  
"Do you... like Uchiha? I mean, I know that you like Gaara but-..."  
I cut his words off.  
"I'm French. I'm sorry if I'm overly lovey and flirty."  
"And pervy. You and your teammates all are. It took some time to get used to, but I can now tell when you're joking. You used to scare me a little with your random outbursts."

We both chuckle. Wow, there has been a lot of chuckling.  
"My ribs kinda hurt from all of this laughing." I huff, slowly sitting myself up in the bed.  
Kankuro's mental light bulb flashes on before he pulls a small bag off of his back.  
"I finally remember what I came here for!" he cheers, digging out a box and giving it to me. I stare down at it, thoroughly confused.  
"What is it? It's not a honey-badger, isn't it? Those things just don't give a shit and they scare the crap out of me." I ask warily.  
Kankuro shakes his head.  
"Nothing like that, Himeko-chan. Just so you know, it's food. I know that hospital rations suck pretty bad, so I decided to get you something on the way here. I asked Temari for help but she didn't know what you would like. She wanted to come, by the way, but Baki and Gaara left on an... errand for a day or two. He left her in charge so she had to go to Konoha administration to book out a arena for our training during our month off. Well, since I mentioned Gaara,before left I had to keep an eye on him for a hour. He was acting creepy, I'm telling you. Must be the full moon tonight. So, back to the food. I used all my brain muscles but I still couldn't remember if you ever mentioned the food you like. I eventually asked Gaara if he knew. He suggested these-... CRAP a medic is coming!" hissed Kankuro, jumping out of his seat and running to the window.

"It's way past visiting time so I've gotta go before that guy gets me in trouble!" he whispers.  
I nod, wave, grin and mouth "bye! Thanks for everything!" before the boy jumps out of a multiple storey building.  
I feign sleep and the doctor doesn't bother checking on me. Once his/her footsteps fade away, I quickly turn my lights back on and open the small package. It's extremely nice of Kankuro to get me something. He said that he asked Gaara what to get. I wonder what he-...  
I blink once. Then twice. Then thrice.  
I then roll to my side, trying to keep down the giggles that threaten to erupt from my throat.  
"Heh... Gaara... If you're so damn dangerous why do you have to be so adorable?" I grin, poking the white chocolate mochis in the box.

* * *

"You guys don't have to hang around all day you know..." I mutter. "Hopefully they will discharge me soon. I'll just... play Angry Birds or something. Maybe I will do a little drawing."  
"You... You sure?" asks Yuuki, slowly edging away from my bed, starting to drag Ryo behind her.  
"Yes!" I throw a pillow at them. "You've been here for three hours! Just go! I'll be fine!"

After one last hug, they rush out of the room.  
I sigh and fall back against the wall, trying to count the tiles on the ceiling.  
The next 'fun' thing that I could look forward to was lunch but that was hours away. This is boring.  
I press the little button besides my bed to call a medic. I wait a few seconds and a young man in his early twenties comes busting in, panting loudly.  
"YES? What's wrong? Is everything OK? Where does it hurt?" he gasps, quickly examining me.  
I sweatdrop and pat him on the arm.  
"No, I just... I was wondering if I could leave. I'm fine and I have nothing to do." I admit.

When this registers, the man looks about ready to kill me.  
"Button is for emergencies only!" he hisses, making me blink before I hide a little under the covers.  
"Sorry. I at least wanted a little company. Did I interrupt something super important?" I ask.  
"Hell yeah! My girlfriend had just popped by to visit and I just was getting my goodbye kiss! Tongue action too!" he snaps, looking completely shameless, even when I start laughing in his face.

"HAH! You ninja are all so naughty inside! And-... ooooh..." I lean forward and notice that his eyes are a milky lavender color. "You, sir, are by far the least uptight Hyuga I have ever met."  
He gives me a long, slightly pained look and I have a feeling that I overstepped into dangerous territory. Glancing up at the guy's forehead, I see that he has pulled his medic headpiece down to his eyebrows. Ah, cadet branch.

"I'm just saying... You seem pretty cool. The first Hyuga I can think of has a rod shoved sideways up his ass and the other one is really shy. Plus, I have never seen a Hyuga medic before so congrats on putting your clan's great chakra control to good use." I smile, hoping that I have avoided any disasters.  
The man arches his eyebrow, but the usual glint of smugness that is usually present in Hyuga (minus Hinata) is strangley absent from his eyes.  
"You must be the talkative redhead by colleagues were talking about." he sighs.  
"Ah, yes, that would be me. I only know one other redhead and he is neither around here nor talkative." I reply. "So, what you're name doctor?"  
"Kei. Hyuga. You?"  
"Tanaka Himeko. Do you think that they will let me out soon? How long do cuts take to heal anyways?"

He pulls out his checkboard and flips through the pages.  
"Many of your wounded fellow chuunin exam candidates are in here for at least two weeks, some of them even longer-..." I gasp, my eyes widening. " … However you just need to stay until tomorrow. Unlike them, you didn't crash into walls, have your chakra system severely damaged or entered the emergency ward with mangled limbs. You just have minor internal bleeding, bruising and a deep cut on your leg. Since it is bandaged and stitched up with string and chakra, you are going to fine. You will have another healing session to make sure that everything... stays together and some more check ups before you are free to go, though. During the next week, you will need to return regularly for more medicine and wait a little before getting your stitches removed."

Oh, that doesn't sound too bad, but it's still annoying.  
"My whole team can heal. Not as well as you, of course. If I do that for hours a day and apply magic ninja ointment, will the stitches come out earlier?" I wonder.  
"I will prescribe you some _herbal_ ointment. Keep healing for the next few days. Come back to the hospital two days after you are discharged and I'll see if the stitches can be taken out early. How does that sound?" he suggests, scribbling something onto a piece of paper.  
I clap and give him a huge grin.  
"That's great! I don't want to hobble around for the week. I want to do a little exploring and training during my month before the next round of the exams! Thanks Hyuga-san!"

He cringes a little (huh? Weird guy) then smiles.  
"Just Kei-san is fine. Well, I've got to get back to work. Hope to see you around, Himeko-san. You have an appointment later this afternoon to get your bandages changed. Until then, you will have to entertain yourself." he rips out the piece of paper he was writing on and hands it to me, then starts walking out the door.  
On the paper is written a time for my appointment tonight. I frown when I notice that, under that, there are room numbers scribbled under it.  
"Kei-san, what are these for?" I quickly call out before he can leave.  
To my surprise, he turns back and grins.  
"As I said, you need to entertain yourself. I can't have you pressing anymore emergency buttons. Why don't you go visit some of your friends? Apart from Rock Lee, Sasuke Uchiha and Hyuga Hinata, who are all still out cold, the others are just as bored as you are."  
I laugh and salute the medic.  
"Thanks!"  
He waves one last time and leaves.

I roll around in my bed for a minute at how unbelievably awesome my life had become in the last few minutes.  
I had just met a really nice, non-stuck up and socially apt Hyuga! The world must be ending.  
Actually, scratch that, the world can't end now. It's far too awesome to end!

I pick up a crutch and take a step. When I apply pressure on my wounded leg, I wince when I realize that it actually still hurts.  
"I'll go to the closest room to mine and just stay there until I am kicked out." I decide out loud to myself.  
It take a minute for me to get a hang of the crutches. Once I do, I make my way down the corridor and knock on the door that I was looking for. A girl's voice calls for me to come in. I open the door and slide into the room.  
"Himeko-chan?"  
"'Sup Tenten-san!" I grin, hopping the rest of the way to the chair besides her bed and plop down in it. "How are you feeling?"

Tenten turns to face me.  
"I'm fine."

A few seconds pass.  
"You feel pretty crappy after being hurt by Temari. Neji didn't visit you." I try.  
Tenten chuckles and nods.  
"Right on target for both. I'm used to physical pain, but what Neji did was really crap. I don't expect him to do visit me because he is my boyfriend, but because he is my teammate... He didn't even come tell me how his match and Lee's match went! You know how I found out everything? The medics! I had to ask medics to know if my teammates were even alive! Afterward, I heard your teammates pass my room as they were leaving. I called them in and had them tell me all the details." she growls, obviously pissed at Neji.  
Can't blame her, really.

"Sorry to say, Tenten-san, but your boyfriend isn't exactly the charmer. He can be surprisingly nice sometimes, but..." I trail off, not wanting to criticize someone's love in front of them. The girl finishes the sentence for me.  
"But that's the problem. When he is nice, it's a surprise. A very nice one. But the rest of the time he's still my shitty teammate. I am not complaining about the way he is treating me as his girlfriend but wow, outside of that he is kind of terrible. I do really love him, but after I heard how he treated Hinata-chan during his match..." the Weapon Mistress closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.  
"You don't feel comfortable with a guy who would willingly try to kill his innocent cousin?" I suggest.  
She nods.  
"I understand his grudge towards the main branch of the Hyuga, but if that's the way he treats the women in his family, especially someone as kindhearted as Hinata-chan, then I am completely furious. I don't want him to visit me at all. I fear that I will attempt to saw his sexy face in half." she spits.

We exchange a glance and burst out laughing. Once our burst of hilarity dies down, Tenten sighs again.  
"What are you going to do?" I ask.  
"I'm not completely decided yet, but once I get discharged I will definitely be having a nice, long conversation with Neji. Enough about my love life now. How was your match?"

* * *

I managed to spend a few hours with Tenten before I got caught by a medic and was politely thrown out of her room. After another visit from my friends at lunch time, I mostly just moped around my hospital room (staring at people passing out of my window and waving to see who would wave back. Very few people did, most just accelerated their pace) until Temari came to see me.  
She seemed pretty tense and I presumed that it was because Gaara and Baki weren't back from their 'errand' yet (if I remember correctly, Dosu Kinuta and Hayate Gekko were murdered last night somewhere at the border between Konoha and Oto). We chatted mostly about battle strategies and I got another remark about how much I nearly failed (seriously, these Suna ninja are pro at tough love). She eventually left.  
On my way to the showers upstairs, I shared a quick hug and hello with Choji and Kiba. As I was passing Hinata's room, her heart had apparently starting going all crazy again.

That night, a medic (not Kei) came to change my bandages and applied some ointment and healing jutsu on my leg. It felt much better afterwards.  
Then that was the end to my second day at Konoha hospital.

* * *

"Your blood pressure is normal and your brain scans didn't show any sign of trauma. You may pass by the pharmacy to collect your medicine and you are free to go!" smiles the medic, writing down my prescription on a piece of paper.  
I clap and slowly get off the table.  
"Please excuse what you are about to see..." I warn, before doing a happy dance. It looks plain awkward because I can't move one of my legs and I probably resemble an wiggling worm/wiener with red hair.  
The lady gives me a long look, glances back at the papers she is holding and starts searching through them again.  
"Are they sure there isn't any brain trauma?" she mumbles, but I still hear her. "Hm. No, she's fine. Apparently."

"I'm just weird. Thanks a lot doc!" I laugh, grabbing my crutches. "Wait, when can I visit Hinata-chan, Lee-kun and Sasuke-kun? Are they better?"  
The medic stands up to open the door for me.  
"Lee-kun's condition is still critical. Hinata-sama's is no longer life-threatening, but still very unstable. Both of them won't be accepting visitors for at least a few more days. However, Sasuke-kun can be visited at any time." she replies.  
"Oh, got it. Thanks for everything, bye!" I then make my way to the pharmacy to pick up some ointment and bandages.

Once that is done, I go meet my teammates in the hospital lobby and we return to our hotel room.  
The first thing I do is sit on my bed. Then I lay on it and start rolling around, under my friends' confused gaze. I let out a happy groan.  
"Safety! A shower that I don't have to share with many, many people! Oh, soft, mushy bed! How I have missed you!" I cry, hugging my pillow.

Ryo and Yuuki exchange a glance.  
"The doctors really didn't find something wrong with your brain?" asks Yuuki, ignoring my half-glare half-Ohmygawdmybedisbouncylook.  
"Nope."

* * *

**Yeah, for the first time I actually use ellipses. I could not be bothered to write many chapters of narration for just a day and I'm pretty sure that you guys just want me to GET ON WITH IT!**  
**So, nothing about their back stories in this chapter for the simple reason that Ryo didn't share his and Yuuki's conversation with Himeko.**  
**Kei is awesome. An OC, of course (an outgoing Hyuga? Legasp) You will be seeing much more of him soon. He is quite important, actually.**

**I dunno about you guys, but I'm still depressed about Neji dying. So, how about a random, couple month old funny story about me totally failing to cheer us up?**

**It was a Friday afternoon and I was completely exhausted in math class. I still finished my exercise because, well, I'm an Asian nerd. The teacher came over to check and stretched his hand in my direction, expecting me to hand him my pen so that he could tick my work. However, I had ****nothing in my hands and I was super tired. I didn't know what the teacher wanted at that time. So I... I... I _high-fived_ my math teacher.**  
***facepalm Let me explain this: my math teacher is the king of terrible jokes and making sure students never live anything down. That's the teacher that I high-fived. When I did that, even he was like O.O WTF?**  
**I started going "I DUNNO! I dunno what you want! I dunno!" whilst practically crying of laughter. My teacher didn't even crack a smile. He was utterly dumbfounded. He eventually snapped out of it and asked me for a pen.**  
**Embarrassing. Humiliating. A funny story to tell XD**

**So, I would love it if you guys shared embarrassing stories in your reviews. So that I don't feel so lonely.**  
**About reviews, as you guys might have noticed for quite some time: I don't reply to them unless a direct question is asked. It is a combination of laziness/business/can't-bring-myself-to-answer-so-many-reviews-ness. However, if you want your review answered, you can ask explicitly and I will.**  
**My review reply to you all: Thank you so much guys! I could never have gone this far if it weren't for you! You've made my day/life and my writing has gotten so much better since the beginning! All thanks to your comments and advice and encouragement! I love you all!**

**Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukah / Happy Kwanza / Happy Winter Solstice / Happy Not the End of the World / Happy Holidays and everything else I might have missed out!**  
**With Chinese cough medicine,**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (I will ****_try_ to get an Akatsuki chapter out for New Year's, since I couldn't make Xmas. Sorry guys, blame my teachers/exams/class trip/procrastination. BTW whoever didn't get the honey badger joke must youtube 'crazy nastyass honey badger' RIGHT NOW)**


	40. Akatsuki: The Bosses' Decision

**HimekoUchia: Happy New Year! Happy 2013! I hope you had a good year and I wish you all another supermegafoxyawesomehot year!  
Ryo: 2012 will always be remembered as... the Gangnam Style year!  
HimekoUchia: Oh wow, yes. When I was in Thailand in my class, my friends betrayed me and nominated me to teach all of them how to dance Gangnam Style... In front of the entire thai school...  
Yuuki: Or maybe also the Mayan Apocalypse year?  
HimekoUchia: That too. Let's called 2012 the year where shit happened. Out of this world stuff.  
Thanks for sharing your embarrassing moments in your reviews for the last chapter! I was immensely amused and give you all a mental hug for going through that.  
I do no own anything and, as promised...**

* * *

**Akatsuki Plan: Chapter ****7****: The Bosses' Decision**

* * *

_Recap: The Akatsuki were arm-wrestling until Konan and Pein walked in._

* * *

_Last Chapter:  
Everyone is either so absorbed by the two artists' metaphysical debate on whether cutting off your own junk for power is a fair trade or by Hidan and Itachi's never ending arm wrestling match, that no one notices as Konan and Pein stroll down the staircase, into the common room._

* * *

"What are you doing?" gasps the woman, staring at the two men who are now sweating profusely and mouthing threats at each other (even Hidan is saving breath right now).

They immediately jump apart, startled.  
Woah, cool guy with loads of piercings! And a sexy ninja babe with blue hair! I keep my inner fangirl in because it would not be advisable to glomp the leader of an S-ranked criminal association's bosses while they are telling their soldiers off.

"Don't bother, Konan, they're arm wrestling. They do that all the time." huffs Pein. "The real questions is... Who are these three children?"  
The Akatsuki all point accusingly to Deidara and Sasori, who glare at the men for selling them out.  
"You see, hn... They set off one of the traps in the forest. We came to eliminate them but... They managed to resist our attacks. Since that was quite impressive, we decided to bring them back here, so that you two could make the final call, hn." explains Deidara, with the most innocent look possible plastered on his face.

Pein looks from the blond, to us, to Sasori.  
"What the brat said." shrugs the redhead, his expression not betraying his emotions.  
The two bosses of the Akatsuki share a glance before nodding.  
"I see. We will return to the mission room to discuss this incident. Each two-man cell is to report to us in about an hour." announces the man, before he and Konan disappear down a corridor.

There is moment of silence.  
"Well... We'll just say that I won, then." smirks Hidan, winking at the annoyed look Itachi throws him.  
"We were interrupted. Lets call it a draw." huffs the Uchiha.  
"Nuh uh. I would have won anyways. My muscles are bigger." The Jashinist flexes his biceps to prove his point.  
"Corporal flesh does not determine whether one wins a match or not. It lies mostly in endurance, stamina and inner will. Which I have in vast quantities." states Itachi, lifting a brow.  
"Woooaaah guys don't be so immature. It's just a game." laughs white Zetsu.

There is a moment of silence.  
"HYPOCRITE! You flipped your shit just now when I pulverized you! You're just saying that 'cause you lost, you fucking daisy!" hollers Hidan, pointing a finger at the plant man. Zetsu looks taken aback but before he can defend himself the other Akatsuki members chime in.  
"Just a game? Just a game, hn? How dare you-..."  
"One does not simply arm wrestle. One creates everlasting art-..."  
"It's entertainment and that is worth a lot of money nowadays-...  
"Arm wrestling is awesome! Don't diss it-..."  
"It is a manly sport that requires certain skills-..."  
"It makes men look more attractive!"

Everyone stops arguing to turn around and stare at Konan. Nobody one saw her reenter the room.  
"What? When I chime in it's not OK anymore?" she huffs. "Whatever."  
She then leaves. Again.

After a minute of quiet and a bat flying out of a tunnel only to smack into a wall and die, the men suddenly erupt into argument again. Still about arm wrestling.  
Soon, Zetsu stumbles out of the fight that's about to break out and sighs in frustration.  
"Why does the boss want us to keep an eye on them..." growls the white half.  
"... when all they do is argue like pansies?" finishes the black half.  
They share a 'oooh I see what you did there' look (don't ask me how, I can just tell you that, once seen, it cannot be unseen) and high five. Wow, it does look like they're clapping.

Yuuki gently elbows me and I hand her a pad and paper. She slips over to the plant ninja whilst Ryo and I keep a close eye on her. He's still a carnivorous jerk, after all (Zetsu, not Ryo).  
"Hey, Zetsu-san? You're right, those guys are kinda overreacting. Could I have your autograph? I think you did very well." asks my cousin, flashing her prettiest smile at the man-vegetation hybrid.  
It seems to work and Zetsu scratches his Venus flytrap, taking the pen a signing the paper.  
"Wow... You are so..." the Akatsuki member seems moved by my teammate's beauty. "... edible."

I shudder and turn my gaze to Ryo to make sure that he didn't-...  
"Ryo? Where are you... AH! No! Ryo! STOP! He didn't mean it that way!" I gasp, but it's too late.  
My friend storms up to Yuuki, picks her up by the waist, turns around, places my cousin behind him before spinning to face Zetsu.  
"You... keep your photosynthetic dick away from her! If I see you doing anything remotely illegal I will make sure to kick you so hard into the ground that not even Pein will be able to uproot you!" he growls, putting up a finger to jab Zetsu in the chest, but decides against it and crosses his arms instead when he realizes that the ninja is quite a bit taller than him.

Zetsu doesn't say anything and just glares at Ryo, dumbfounded at his logic.  
"BWAHAHAHA!" hollers Hidan, who overheard my friend's speech and had decided to ditch the arguing Akatsuki. "You! Your team really is pro at dissing the crap out of people! Two fucking puns in one!"  
He grabs the notebook out of Yuuki's hands, signs it and hands it back to her.  
"There! I am the king of foul language and don't you forget it! I hope Jashin won't mind me holding up the sacrificing in order to entertain myself."

Zetsu sighs, shakes his head and slaps Ryo in the face.  
"Stop taking everything I say as dirty innuedo. I meant it literally, stupid."  
Then the man stomps off, leaving Ryo and Yuuki standing there. They both tilt they faces upwards to look at Hidan's kind, heartfelt smile.  
"Thanks for the autograph!" they say in unison before running back and sitting on the floor behind me. They then proceed to rock back and forth like crazy people, muttering something about seeing their death in Hidan's eyes.

By now, the Akatsuki have finished their argument and are now staring at my teammates. Their gazes eventually land on my standing form, making me feel very, very awkward. I twirl my finger through my hair.  
"So... What do you think the boss is going to do to us?"

* * *

"... Or maybe he'll stick bamboo under their finger nails and let it grow, hn?"  
"They might scalp them."  
"Then add the hair to the carpet they have in their office."  
"Rip out their molars? He might try miniature sculpting."  
"Or simply make a necklace for Konan out of all your teeth."  
"Cut chunks out of your flesh to test out basic solutions..."

After an hour and half of this, I had long joined my friends in rolling around on the floor, utterly traumatized.  
I still thank ninja heavens that Hidan's team was the first to get called into Pein's office, so his input was minimal. However, every single one of these Akatsuki members are sadistic turds and I am now reminded of that.  
The only exception of that rule was Itachi, who calmly suggested a few torture methods until he realized that we were pretty much blocking out all that they were saying in hopes of clutching onto our sanity and meal. He then opted to watch us squirm in discomfort and fear with a passive gaze.

Eventually, Team Itachi/Kisame are called up until we were only left with Team Sasori/Deidara.  
"So, once again, it's just us five here, hm." says the blond, almost nostalgically.  
My teammates and I nod and slowly get off the floor to sit more comfortably in a couch.  
"Yep. Except this time, you're not trying to lock us up in a cell." I smile.  
"Hn. If you do get executed, I want you three to know... You were entertaining, hm." admits Deidara. I knew that he meant that as a compliment, but it still sounds bad when he says it.

"You guys think that Pein will kill us?" asks Yuuki, her face nervous.  
"Maybe. He usually executes trespassers without question, but since you managed to survive our attack he might be interested in keeping you brats around." replies Sasori, his face completely uncaring and neutral.  
I'm starting to feel scared. What if Pein does decide to kill us? I have no idea if our mental shield extend to rinnengan but, from what I know of the power of those eyes, I highly doubt it.  
The result would be... sayonara bitches.

"Sasori. Deidara." calls out Zetsu, like the secretary he is.  
Sasori walks off and Deidara waves his hand at us, the tongue in his palm sticking out at us.

Then my teammates and I are alone. The rest of the Akatsuki is God knows where.  
"Having tongues in your hands..." muses Ryo, looking down at his palm. "It must be really useful, sometimes..."  
Yuuki and I exchange a look, before the meaning of what our friend said sinks in.  
"Ryo! No! Don't bring that up again! When Hidan said it the first time, it was to make Deidara lose his match against Itachi. It was gross enough back then, so stop it!" huffs Yuuki, elbowing the boy. "Right, Hime-chan? Boys are so... urg..."  
I look down at my hand.  
"Ryo has a point."  
"Himeko!" gasps Yuuki before she starts rocking on her heels again. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it..."

* * *

"Trespassers. Your turn!" calls Zetsu, waving his hand towards the corridor.

We get up, our movements borderline robotic. We follow the plant messenger into the dark gallery of the Akatsuki base. The temperature starts to drop gradually, the walls start to get cool to the touch.  
Where are they taking us? To an underground slaughterhouse?  
We friends and I walk close together, our arms brushing for comfort.  
"Could we maybe go faster?" I ask. "I... I kinda need to pee now."  
White Zetsu looks frustrated whilst the black Zetsu looks horrified. He then proceeds to drag as at double speed down the corridor.

After a minute, we arrive in front of large, double doors. Zetsu smiles, then unceremoniously swings the door open.

There, sitting at the grand stone desk, are Pein and Konan, fists locked in a round of arm wrestling. With a final grunt, Konan smashes Pein's hand into the table whilst letting out a satisfied laugh.  
"Very good. You're getting stronger." sighs the ginger, rubbing his hand.  
"Thank you. I really hope that you weren't going easy on me again, though, because that would just..." Konan fades out when she notices Ryo, Yuuki, Zetsu and I standing there trying really hard not to laugh.

They quickly sit straight and glare down at us intimidatingly, daring us to comment. None of us want to die, so we stay silent. I look down at the floor and my blood freezes over.  
Wow, Pein sure does have a nice woven carpet...

"Glad to see you again, trespassers." huffs Pein. "Care to explain why our soldiers found you loitering around the base?"  
My friends stay quiet so I presume that I am once again the nominated public speaker. I decide that a partial truth is probably the best way to go.  
"Konoha sent us out on a survival mission. Our map sucked and we got lost. My friend accidentally set off a trap..." I shrug, omitting the part where we were actually trying to find them. "We didn't know your base would be so close to the Leaf Village."

My fellow ginger nods.  
"You will be relieved to hear that we will not be executing you... immediately. The Akatsuki members have given eye-witnesses to some of your abilities and you have been deemed more useful alive than dead. For now." Pein stops, expecting me to say something.  
"Um... We appreciate your mercy... For now." I can't help adding the last part.  
Pein, being the cool stud that he is, doesn't get offended.

"Your fate is currently partially in your own hands. We will give you the choice. You can either chose to stay... That would require you to yield all the information you possess on Konohagakure, it's security and jonins and you must become tools of the Akatsuki." says the man.  
"Or?"  
"Or you die. Death will be relatively painless, though I will be the one executing you, so don't feel pressured into doing something you aren't okay with." Gosh, he sounds like a guy hooking up with a girl. Bad timing. Bad thoughts. "We require loyalty in the Akatsuki. If it helps you make your decision... I must let you know that when the Leaf Village agrees to send a foreign squad on a 'survival mission' and directs them into this part of the forest, they really aren't expecting them to return. This is their way to eliminate weak shinobi without ruining their image of being the 'good guys' who cause no... pain." Pein absolutely loves his name's pun, I see.

He sits back down and let's Konan do some speaking.  
"You have 24 hours to make a decision. You may leave." she smiles creepily.  
Yuuki, who is still holding the paper and pen, walks towards their desk.

"We understand. May we have an autograph?" she asks.

The duo plasters a look of disbelief on their face before glaring at the paper.  
"Is this some type of trap?" asks Konan.  
"Nope. Normal paper, you can ask the other guys. Obviously, you just sign, you don't have to write your names so that your identities won't be revealed to anyone who might get a hold on this." explains my cousin. Konan and Pein exchange a look as the woman takes the pen. "It's a fangirl thing, that is all."  
Ryo puts up his hand.  
"... And one fanboy too."

Both the Akatsuki leaders sign the paper and hand it back to Yuuki.  
"Thank you very much." she bows, before skipping back to us.  
Pein stands up.  
"Oh, I forgot to add... Don't even bother thinking about escaping. Deidara has told us about you powers and we are pleased to inform you that it is completely impossible to teleport in and out of the base, even for those who have so called... "love energy", was it?" Pein sounds a little sarcastic.  
"Of course. We weren't planning on escaping." I smile.

'Ryo, scan Pein's memories carefully and find the exit stat.' I mentally tell him.  
My teammate blinks but, otherwise, doesn't show any sign of having heard someone talk in his head. Our acting skills have madly improved since we've arrived here.

We are dismissed from the office and Zetsu lets us walk back up the corridor alone.  
Once we are in our room, we all lie down on our beds and stare up at the ceiling.  
'For all we know, our rooms are tapped.' I say telepathically. 'Anything involving our escape plan is to be thought only.'  
'Gotcha. So, Ryo, what's the update?' asks Yuuki.  
Our male friends stays silent for some time, making me fear the worse.

'Girls...We're royally screwed. The exit isn't difficult to find, it's just a blank wall down the dark hallway where we lost Pinoccio. However, the door is hidden and can only be activated if a strong burst of chakra is sent through it. Not only that, but the chakra has to belong to one of the Akatsuki members.' hums Ryo, trying not to freak out.  
'Oh crap. There really isn't a way out, is there?' sighs Yuuki. 'We should have thought twice before skipping into the Akatsuki base. We had no idea that we wouldn't be able to teleport out of the base. Himeko, what do we do?'

I roll a few times on my bed, frowning in concentration. After a few minutes, I clap my hands.  
"Yes... This should definitely work. Ryo, you can modify chakra seals to make them compatible with our energy, right?' I ask.  
'Yes, but as you said, I can modify _seals_, not locks_. _As in, those on a weapon or something small-scale like that.' replies the boy. 'I don't see where this is going.'  
I sit up on by bed, grinning victoriously at my two teammates.  
'Perfect, that's all we need. Here's what we're going to do..."

* * *

The day ended eventually and night settled on the Akatsuki base. We didn't get the chance to run into any of the members, as they were all out in the training fields.  
We were obviously not going to stay around that bunch of criminals when they were testing out their skills. What if they decided that they wanted a moving target?

We went to bed and awoke the next day, checking our watches to make sure that we were not reaching the 24 hours mark any time soon.  
After breakfast, I turn to leave the kitchen.  
"Himeko-chan, I don't think that it's the smartest idea to be wondering around the Akatsuki base alone..." sighs Ryo.  
"I just need to digest my food. I can't sit still when I'm stressed." I shrug, leaving anyway, like the reckless person I am. You know, for being a smart-ass, I sure don't learn from stupid mistakes.

I definitely should have listened to Ryo just then. If I had, I would not have been wondering the hallways on the second floor on my own.  
But I didn't listen.

So as I am walking along, quietly humming to myself. The atmosphere is eerie and fear clenches my heart, but that is expected when in the Akatsuki base. I shrug off the feeling and decide to walk some more.  
Suddenly, my blood freezes over when I hear another person breathing behind me.  
I turn, but it's too late.  
I am shoved against the wall. A hand claps painfully around my throat, cutting off my oxygen supply.  
I glare at my attacker. At the red eye peeking out from the hole in a certain Akatsuki member's swirly orange mask.

* * *

**Legasp! Thought I forgot about Tobi/Obito/Not-Madara/that guy, did you? I have to remind you, the trio don't know about his true identity. They believe that he's actually Madara disguised as happy-go-lucky Tobi.**

**Believe it or not, the Akatsuki side-arc of this story is drawing to a close :(. Believe it or not, the trio will not be able to stay forever with the Akatsuki.**

**Whoo chapter number 40! Thank you so much guys! You know what this calls for? A freaking group hug! *hugs computer* Come on, everybody, join in!**  
**You guys are so awesome for putting up with my shitty schedules and lack of review replies!**  
**So I set up a thank you machine. You can help me chose how I can thank you all. Let's say that this is the celebration for the 500th review (so help me get there!).**  
**1) All of those who comment on chapter 41 (the next one, not this one) could get a drabble of their choice**  
**Pro: Everyone is happy and gets a personalized drabble!**  
**Con: It might take some time and I am slow enough as it is.**  
**or... My personal favorite...**  
**2) I make a "The Battle Plan" special. Yeah, like in those old school TV shows where they have Xmas specials and stuff. It will be non-canon and could be about anything or anyone, as long as it involves at least one of the three main OCs. If this is chosen, I will ask for suggestions and my favorite will be chosen.**  
**Pro: That's fun!**  
**Con: I really have no idea how to do one of these. And only one idea will be chosen.**

**I was thinking also about making a reviewer number 500 only one-shot, but that seemed super unfair, so the idea got scrapped...**  
**So, these are my propositions. I'll set up a blind poll to keep tally, so you can vote on whichever idea you like the best, or none, if you just think that I should really be focusing on my current work instead XD.**  
**Vote on the poll. Votes in reviews won't be taken into account (I tried figuring out a mathematical system that could balance poll vote and review votes, but it would be inaccurate). However, you are welcome to explain why you prefer one suggestion of the other etc or share new ideas. If I find other great ideas, they will be added to the poll (suggest fast or others would have already voted on the poll by then).**

**Poll results will be revealed in the next chapter and then drabble/specials idea could be suggested then.**

**Happy new year guys! Hope you had a good 2012 (mine was relatively un-crazy. Everything cool that happened didn't directly affect me. I still enjoyed living another year :D)!**  
**If your year sucked, I hope 2013 will be better!**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (The song 'Auld Lang Syne' gives me so many feels...)**


	41. Cat Murderers

**HimekoUchia: …  
Ryo: … I just... I don't know what to say to you...  
Yuuki: I'm so disappointed...  
Himeko: That was...  
HimekoUchia: … simply ghastly. I can't believe I haven't updated in so long. I've been busy with school, a trip then a internship for school and homework then holidays (Happy Chinese new year!) where I had to do more homework and now exams and the internship report... I did write a lot so... guess what? The next chapter will come out on time! And 'And Now We're Stuck Here Together' is being bulk written and will be updated soon as well!  
Ryo: She doesn't own anything. Except for her dreams. Yes, she is a crazy person. Now, please, don't keep them waiting.  
HimekoUchia: Thanks for the reviews guys! During the holidays, I turned 16! Yay! Enjoy!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_We return to our hotel room.  
__The first thing I do is sit on my bed. Then I lay on it and start rolling around, under my friends' confused gaze. I let out a happy groan._

_"Safety! A shower that I don't have to share with many, many people! Oh, soft, mushy bed! How I have missed you!" I cry, hugging my pillow._

_Ryo and Yuuki exchange a glance.  
"The doctors really didn't find something wrong with your brain?" asks Yuuki, ignoring my half-glare half-Ohmygawdmybedisbouncylook.  
"Nope."_

* * *

After lunch in the hotel and an hour of us healing my leg, we drag our butts back out to solve the mystery that has been plaguing us, haunting us and watching us sleep with a sadistic look in his face whilst licking his butt-hole.

Simba.  
"So, kitty, will you tell us where you came from?" asks Ryo, smiling down at the feline.  
To our shock, the cat spits at him and runs behind me, then behind Yuuki, then once in a circle around Ryo before going back in front of my guy friend.  
"... I guess that means that you don't want us to know?" I try, putting my hands up in defeat.  
Simba nods.  
My friends and I all shiver.  
"It really looks like it can understand everything we are saying!" gasps Ryo.  
The feline meows.

"That's it. Sorry, Simba, we've at least got to find out if you belong to someone, or we could be arrested for catnapping." explains Yuuki, before grabbing the animal in her arms and making him pass out by shoving nothing into his mind. The cat's body flops down eerily and I fear that we might be accused of murder.  
Ryo and I sweat-drop.  
"Well, that worked well."

* * *

Ryo knocks the door to the Konoha mission room. A middle-aged woman opens the door and ushers us in.

"Ah... You three..." smiles the Hokage, looking a little surprised to see us. "You aren't in the shape to be requesting missions. What brings you youngsters here?"  
I quickly swing across the room with my crutches (practice makes perfect).  
"Hello, Lord Hokage! We aren't here for missions. We're really sorry to bother you, but this is the only place in the village where we could guarantee the presence of smart, helpful people." I explain.  
"I see..." chuckles the old man, not falling for flattery but probably just thinking about how adorable it is to be young. "How may I help you?"

Yuuki walks over to the desk and places Simba on the table.  
There is a silence pregnant with horror. The Hokage drops his pencil.  
"Is that a dead cat?" asks the woman who opened the door.  
"No, just he's sleeping. We found him in the Forest of Death. Do you recognize him?" asks my cousin.  
The Hokage shakes his head. He reaches for a piece of scrap paper and scribbles something on it.  
"I'll give you the address to the center in Konoha that trains animal summons. They might be able to help you." he hands the paper over to Yuuki.

"Thank you!" choruses my team before we make our way out again, Ryo taking Simba in his arms and me swinging out on my crutches.

* * *

After asking for a few directions, we arrive in front of a medium sized dojo decorated with animal statues and that smells strongly of a petting zoo. We knock on the wooden door and wait for someone to open for us.

Suddenly, the door swing open.  
Thankfully, Ryo and Yuuki could take a small step back and be out of harm's way.  
Unfortunately, I was just in front of the door.

It whacks me in the face. I fall to the ground, groaning when my forehead and leg start throbbing in pain.  
"AH! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I wasn't being careful! Are you OK?" shouts an unknown girl's voice.  
"Cloud is pretty..." I reply, staring at the sky. "Cloud looks like a car..."  
I feel the person sit besides me.  
"Oh my gosh! Oh no! Oh no! I've made her stupid!" cries the voice.

I frown and grab her hair, pulling her towards my face.  
"I'm not stupid. Take that back, pumpkin." I growl.  
Her green eyes light up in fear.  
"Ow! No! I'm sorry! You're not stupid! You're a genius for all I know! Let me-..."

Yuuki drags me off the floor.  
"Ah, we're sorry about Himeko. Don't say the 's' word in front of her. It makes her furious. Don't worry too much though, she's like that even without getting a door rammed in her face." explains my cousin.  
The girl, whom I can see is around our age, gasps.  
"Her leg! It's already wounded? And I hurt you! Your face is bleeding! I'm really sorry-..."  
"OK, enough. Stop overreacting, it's making me feel bad!" I snap. "It all stings a little but I'm going to be fine." I let out a sigh. "Sorry for pulling your hair. I actually like your hair. It's... creative."

The girl smiles tentatively, rummages through her pocket and takes out a small brown rectangle. She peels the band-aid off the paper and then gently sticks it to my forehead.  
"Thanks." I deadpan.  
She combs her fingers through the mid-length blond hair, which has green streaks and two leaf-shaped hair clips in them. Wow, she is one cute looking nature freak.  
"I can get you pain killers it you want. Um, so let's start again... Hello, I'm Kanako Gekko, welcome to the ninja animal training center! How may I be of service?" she asks.  
Oh, she must be related to Hayate Gekko! Well, there are only so many clans in Konoha...

"I'm Ryo Murakami. This is Yuuki Tanaka. The redhead is Himeko Tanaka. We do have a problem, actually. You see, we have this cat..." Ryo nods towards the still-sleeping Simba in his arms.  
Kanako walks over to him and gasps.  
"OH MY GOSH! Is it dead?" she shouts, her hand slamming over her mouth, tears threatening to spill over.  
"No, just sleeping. We found him in the Forest of Death. Do you have a missing feline, by any chance?" questions Yuuki.  
Kanako frowns, then a light bulb seems to go off in her head.

"Oh! Yes! This must be him! Come on in, I'll check with my colleague!" She lets us into the dojo, holding the door and giving me an apologetic look when I crutch my way into the building. Do I really look that pitiful? I should ditch the crutches whenever I can.  
Once the door shuts behind us, the whole place suddenly erupts with barking.  
"Ah... They always do that when strangers come... please excuse me..." she inhales deeply. "SHUT YOUR TRAPS!" she screams.

The building goes silent. My friends and I gulp.  
After a few seconds, a man who looks about in his late fifties runs into the room.  
"Kanako-chan! Did you really have to shout that loud-..." he starts, then notices us. "Oh, hello! Nice you meet you three young people. My name is Inuzuka Takedo. I'm currently in charge of this animal training facility, may I help you?"  
"Inuzuka? Don't you guys have your own personal army of dogs?" asks Yuuki.  
Takedo shrugs.  
"Yes, but I like other animals too so, many years ago, I volunteered to help train future summons and battle companions. Now, this place has been passed on to me." explains the man.  
"Ah, nice. Well, we do have something to ask you. We have this cat you see..." begins Ryo, showing the man the cat in his arms. The old man looks mildly horrified.

"Is it dead?" gasps Takedo.  
I see Ryo's eyebrow twitch and he takes a deep breath.  
"No. He didn't want to come here so my teammate rocked him to sleep. Do you know him?" sighs my friend.  
The man observes the feline. He frowns.  
"Operative Jun, is that you?" he growls dangerously.

Suddenly, Simba (or, apparently, Jun) looks as if a bolt of lightning shocked him awake and he jumps out of Ryo's arms, leaving scratches there, to latch himself to the ceiling.  
Everybody looks up at the shivering cat. Ryo starts licking his cuts to stop them from bleeding or getting infected.  
"MIAAAAARRWWWWW..." howls the kitty, giving my teammates and I a betrayed look.  
"We're sorry Simba! We really needed to know where you came from! What happened?" I turn to Takedo and Kanako. "What did you do to him to make him like that?"

The girl scratches her head.  
"Jun lived here, but one day he got in a fight with another cat, then his behavior became terrible. He was always tough to train, because he loves freedom. He eventually ran away. Now, you guys have found him." she answers.  
"Badly behaved? Him? Really? He's such an angel with us." points out Yuuki.  
"Oh, he really is! He just really didn't like following training schedules and being forced to socialize with other animals." chuckles Takedo.

Something starts to bug me.  
"Wait. If summoned dogs can talk... does that mean that Simba can talk?" I gasp.  
After a moment of silence, Takedo and Kanako burst out laughing.  
"A talking cat? That's hilarious! Cats don't talk! Oh, you are funny, redhead." says Takedo hysterically. "No, Jun doesn't talk. However, he is our smartest, most rebellious shinobi feline."  
"What can he do? He does act really creepily..." I ponder.  
"Well, his strong point is sensory type jutsu. You probably noticed that he can sense a person's chakra warmth... Aura... Heart purity... Whatever you want to call it. Most animals can, but this little one is especially perceptive. He even senses relationships and tension between people. He knows when a person has feelings for another. We used to nick-name him 'match-maker' because he would sense if a young man liked Kanako-chan here, then he would try to get them in the same room as much as possible. It was cute, really..." hums the man. Wow, the cat taking me to Gaara all the time is starting to make much more sense.

"It wasn't!" huffs Kanako, looking up at Simba/Jun. "I didn't even like those boys that much! Plus, it always ended up really awkward and then I would have to find a way to escape the conversations the guys would start."  
I turn to her.  
"I know right? I mean, don't get me wrong, kitty, I love you heaps for setting me up with Gaara all the time, but a warning would be great. I mean, when you stuck us together on the Tower of Doom balcony, I ended up falling down and embarrassing myself. It was still nice, though." I add.

Everyone gives me a long look.  
"Yeah, Himeko-chan has a rather eccentric behavior." sighs Ryo. "So, Simba, are you going to stay here, or will you run away again?"  
The cat stops shaking and drops to the ground, landing on all fours (and freaking my friends and I out). He sits down and look at Kanako and Takedo, then at my team.  
"Meow." he shrugs.  
"Well, we really did miss you, Operative Jun. Sorry that I woke you with a scare, though. If you return with us, we won't be so harsh on training schedules or force you to be with any of the other cats. How does that sound?" suggests Kanako.

The feline's eyes start glowing, but then he looks to us.

"It's OK. You can always visit, right?" smiles Yuuki.  
"Of course! He is free to go in and out of the dojo! It's not like we can keep him locked up anyways, since he is such a professional escapist. Actually, one day, when he finishes his training, you three might be able to sign a summoning contract with him! Isn't that cool?" says Takedo, his face showing a warm grin.

Everybody in the room (including the cat) nods.  
"Well, that's settled then! Welcome back Jun!" claps Kanako.  
The cat rubs himself one last time on my team's legs (no... Himeko, don't start crying now... It's not bye forever...), then runs up the stairs on the far side of the room, disappearing form our view.  
"What an eventful day! Kanako-chan, your shift is over... Are you going over time again?" asks Takedo.  
The girl shakes her dark blond and green head.

"Can't. I have to go meet my sister and her boyfriend." she sighs.  
After saying our good-byes to Takedo, all four of us young people take our leave.  
"So, Kanako-san, are you a genin?" I ask.  
"Oh, no, not yet! I'm graduating from the ninja academy soon, though! I help out here because I love animals and wildlife in general." smiles the girl.  
"Yeah, you do look like a nature lover..." points out Yuuki, eyeing Kanako's interesting hair.  
"I also like taking pictures of plants and creatures that I find around the village! It amazes me how much life there is here!" adds the girl. "My dream is to work in the Konohagakure science lab when I'm older!"

The blond smiles cheerfully, being the bubbly person that she is.  
"See you guys around! You can come see Jun anytime you wish!" she ninja runs away from us.

"Well, isn't she just a strange little cutie." I chuckle, watching as the green-and-blond dot that is her head disappears in the distance.  
"By far the third weirdest girl I have ever met. Right after Himeko and Yuuki, of course..." hums Ryo.  
"I hope we will see her again... She was really cool." smiles Yuuki.  
Then we are off, slowly dragging each other away from the dojo to avoid running back and coddling Simba.

* * *

"It was horrible! I dreamed that my spirit left my body and was flying around. I somehow ended up in an airport then was jolted awake in the dream world, only to find out that I had been sleeping for too long and had missed a whole English lesson and missed an exam!" I cry, rocking back and forth on my bed.

"... How is it bad, even in your messed up dream world, to miss an exam?" asks Ryo.  
"Because! I knew that I was dreaming, yet I panicked! I then told the teacher that I would do the work at home... I had to analyze a poem about a snake, but then I went camping and-..." I get cut off by Yuuki.  
"Seriously? Even in your dream you actually seek out to do homework? That is so lame, Hime-chan..." she snorts in laughter. My friends then proceed to make fun of my dreams and I.

Thus started a new day.

"Woohoo! I can kind of walk now! Tomorrow, I'll go find Kei-san at the hospital and get him to take my stitches out! It's starting to creep me out to have string in my leg!" I cheer, slowly making my way out of the hotel, glad that I only had an awkward limp-hobble movement and that the pain had pretty much faded away. The scab was obviously itchy as heck, though.

My friends and I walk around Konoha. We catch Shino walking out of a candy shop to stand underneath its glowing pink and purple and sparkly sign. Yes, it was a traumatic sight.  
"Shino-kun. What are you doing?" asks Yuuki.  
The bug-nin flinches a little. He turn towards us, the visible skin on his face turning slightly darker.  
"This is not what it look like." he says monotonously.  
"Really? Because it looks like you just bought candy out of a questionably fairy-like store." I grin, not bothering to hold back a chuckle.  
"It's not for me." he huffs.  
"For who then?" tried Ryo, since we are all enjoying this game of make-Shino-uncomfortable.  
"Kiba. Kiba has requested that I smuggle in sugar for him. I would never indulge in such frivolous consumables." he replied calmly.

My friends and I snort in laughter.  
"Why is it that you always sound so cool?" I chuckle. "If you really went so far just to get Kiba-kun his candy then you are one considerate, self-sacrificing guy. Respect."  
"Thank you." responds the bug-nin curtly, obviously itching to get away from us.  
We wave and go on our merry way.

We stop at another dessert shop, stock up on strange Konoha cake and then wonder where to go next.  
"I'm going to go back to the hotel to put these in our small mini-fridge." shrugs Yuuki, lifting up her comically large bag of yummy food.  
"Well, since I am not carrying anything because I am still slightly wounded, I will take a walk because my leg feels weird when I'm sitting down." I clap my hands together. "I will go book out a training ground for us. You guys want to join me?"  
"Nope. I'm going to go get us a stock of kunai and other interesting weapons that I could possibly modify." answers Ryo.  
"Oh, then lets meet somewhere afterward! I want to go to the Konoha bathhouse! I totally want to be nude around naked people I don't know." smiles Yuuki.

Since that is a rather awesome idea, Ryo and I agree to go join her once we are done with our own little errands.

I walk to the Hokage tower, finding the right person to address by asking a random jonin for directions.  
I manage to get us a small private training ground for two days a week. I guess that we will be training in the forest all the other times.

With that done, I make my way to the bathhouse, wondering if my friends are there yet.  
The temperature rises, indicating that I am in the spring area. I find the entrance to the rotenburo and am about to walk in when I hear a creepy laugh. I jump out of my skin, turning to face the source of the noise.  
"What the-..." my eyes widen as I recognize the old man. "AH! It's Jiraya!"  
I try to make a run for it, but the sage hops in front of me.  
"Whoah! Not so fast! You know me?" he grins, posing in a very theatrical manner.  
"Eh... You are supposed to be training Naruto-kun now, aren't you?" I shoot back.

The man straightens up.  
"Oh, you're a stalker too?" he laughs. "You are correct. I am currently training the boy. However, I cannot waste valuable research time so I am actually a clone send out by the original man."  
I lift an eyebrow.  
"You create a clone just for the purpose of spying on naked women?"  
"Exactly. Pure research." he nods. "I like you so far. I didn't even have to explain it to you!"  
"You wrote the Make-Out-Paradise series, didn't you? That is such a popular book nowadays. Even a guy from Sunagakure has read them."

"REALLY?" gasps Jiraya. "That's great news! And even a young child such as yourself has heard about this series?"  
"I saw Kakashi-san reading it many, many times. I'm still learning how to read kana, so hopefully by the time I am 18 I will be able to understand Japanese enough to read your horrible obscene book." I chuckle.  
Jiraya grin and pats me on the shoulder. I think that my shoulder is now dishonored.  
"I admire your commitment! You know who I am, but I don't know your name, you closeted super-pervert! What is it?"  
"Tanaka Himeko." I answer.  
"So, Himeko-san, you know Naruto-kun? He's a fast learner."  
"He is a truly amazing boy. We're friends. At least, I hope we are."  
"What are you doing around here?" asks the man.  
"Well, I was going to go to the bathhouse, but since you're here and I don't want my underage body to be expose to the world's biggest pervert, I will now probably go sit underneath my running shower, hug myself in disgust and summon demons to come haunt you for invading those women's privacy." I flash an innocent smile.

Jiraya gives me a long look, his head tilting to the side.  
"I bet you will grow up to be a real pain in the ass." he concludes.  
"Hah." I roll my eyes, chuckling. "I'm kidding. I am a pervert. I just respect people too. Don't worry, I won't summon demons. Just redheads. An army of redheads."  
Jiraya frowns.  
"You know what, Himeko-san? You make me nervous. I can't tell if you're actually joking or not..."  
"Hehehe... Of course I am." I brush my hair back and plaster a serious look on my face. "Or am I?"

"Hime-chan!"  
Jiraya and I both turn to see Yuuki and Ryo running towards us. When my friends see who is with me, their faces show a combination of pure awe and fear of violation.  
"Ji-Jiraya?" they both gasp.  
The old man grins and takes up his theatrical pose again.  
"Yes! It is I, Jiraya, the Toad sennin!" he shouts.

"Oh wow, he's real..." says Ryo, smiling and bowing at the same time as Yuuki.  
Jiraya clears his throat and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.  
"Ahem... I see that my reputation has spread quickly." he points out.  
"Like a flu. Or a STD..." adds my cousin. "I guess that means no bathhouse for today?"  
"Please, go ahead!" gasps Jiraya. "Don't mind me!"

My friends and I exchange a glance.  
"Um... Yeah... We'll just sit in our bathing suits and splash around in the shower." I sigh, giggling at that image. "Nice meeting you, Jiraya-sama. I hope that you get found out and that all those poor women haunt you. Good-bye."

* * *

**More OCs? Nooo! Well, there can't just be the canon characters working in the village can they? Not all OCs seen will be recurring characters but, in this chapter, one of them will be quite important for the end of the fic. The next chapter will introduce another OC... Another semi-important one.  
Who's sad to see Simba go? Yeah, he wasn't meant to be an animal sidekick for now. He'll be back! His name will be explained in the next chapter.  
And there is Jiraya XD Ah, Jiraya... I love that guy, though in real life he would be on "To catch a predator"...  
OK, so the poll results are in... The respond to an 'extra' chapter wasn't very enthusiastic XD. So my proposition is, I'll write that chapter once the Akatsuki Plan is finished and upload it on a special occasion. Now, feel free to suggest anything.  
I apologize once again for the horribly late update. Stay tuned for ANWST and the next chapter!  
Hugs, kisses and French tea,  
XOXO ~~ HimekoUchia (so... very... tired)**


	42. Why Himeko Shouldn't Be Left Alone

**HimekoUchia: Yay for the first time in ages I haven't updated late! And I've hit over 500 reviews \(o.o)/ XD XD! Thank you so much guys!  
Ryo: Arigato everyone!  
Yuuki: Merci!  
Himeko: Xiexie! Now, enough chit chat before the chapter. Madame the authoress doesn't own anything!**

* * *

_Last Chapter:  
__My friends and I exchange a glance._  
_"Um... Yeah... We'll just sit in our bathing suits and splash around in the shower." I sigh, giggling at that image. "Nice meeting you, Jiraya-sama. I hope that you get found out and that all those poor women haunt you. Good-bye."_

* * *

The rest of our day is uneventful (you can't really top meeting Jiraya). We walk around the village but find no one that we know or who seems friendly enough for us to strike up a conversation.

Defeated, we go back to the hotel. My friends and I spend about four hours healing my leg.  
At the end of that session, I take a deep breath and step to the ground. I smile.  
"I'm stable!" I laugh, hopping on my now perfectly fine limb. "Ouch! No pain apart from the tugging on the stitches! Tomorrow, I'm going to Konoha hospital!"

* * *

The next day.

"Naruto-kun!" I call out running over to hug the boy. "I haven't seen you in days! Good thing that I got up early for once and didn't miss you before you went off training."  
The blond nods and hugs me back.  
"Yeah! Where are you going, Himeko-chan?"  
"Hospital." I show him my leg. "Gonna get these stitches out. Don't need them anymore. Actually, I have something I need to ask you..."

* * *

"Hey doc!" I gasp once Kei starts walking down the corridor of the hospital towards me. "Please! This... This string is getting so weird! Can you take it out? Will it hurt?"

The man smiles and motions for me to follow him into an empty operating room.  
"You seem to be walking fine, so I will remove those for you. And yes, the pain will be unbearable." he deadpans. Then, that evil bastard laughs at my mortified expression. "I'm kidding."  
I gulp and let him cut the stitches then pull the string out. I shiver.  
"This is such an unpleasant feeling. What do I do about this?" I point to the tiny holes in my body.  
"Oh, the whole scarring area will fade a little eventually. You might always have that line, though." he answers.

"Thanks, doc!" I smile at him. He lifts and eyebrow.  
"Stop calling my that. It makes me feel old. I'm young, dammit! I don't want to be some old perverted sounding person..." he sighs.  
"So you've met Jiraya?" I ask.  
Kei's eyes widen.  
"Yes! I have... Well, my girlfriend did. She was at the bathhouse yesterday and, apparently, Lord Jiraya was back from his trip." grumbles the man bitterly. "I can't believe him... how dare he see my girlfriend's boobs?"  
"What happened after that?" I wonder. "I was there yesterday too, but my team and I left once we saw the man. For safety reasons, and all."  
"Mei, that's my girlfriend, waited until he peeked through the hole again before shoving a comb into Jiraya-sama's eyeball." shrugged the medic.

I groan in disgust.  
"No worries, it was just a clone, of course." adds Kei, with a hint of disappointment in his voice.  
"He's going to be staying in Konoha for some time, I think. He's training my friend. I should get someone to teach me too. I can plan fights out in my head and everything, but I lack knowledge on different fighting scenarios. I probably couldn't fight properly in a team." I reveal to the medic. He gives me a long look.  
"Well... Sometimes, the best thing to do is to experience them. Nothing better and more dangerous than hands on learning. It helps shorten reaction time. However, you need to be more careful... You don't want to get yourself into a bloody mess again." he huffs.

"I won't! At least, I'll try not to!" I jump off the operating table. "Thanks, Kei-san!"  
"No problem. If it gets infected and turns into an agonizing case of gangrene, you can come back to see me." smiles the man.  
I slump forward.  
"Gee, thanks. Well, I'm going to go visit Sasuke and Lee now. Are they in?" I ask.  
The medic checks his clipboard.  
"Sorry, Lee is in a medically induced coma again, we're still trying to reconstruct his limbs. Whoever did that to him is a dangerous madman." I gulp behind my smile. "However, Sasuke-kun is awake. Second floor, room 209. Don't tire him out, though, he's still recovering."

With a last thanks, I skip all the way to the Uchiha's room, glad to finally have a proper looking leg.  
I quietly drum on the door.  
"Yes?" calls the boy's voice. I open the door and slip in. When I see him sitting up on his bed, looking good to go and perfectly surprised to see me, I grin. I realize that I really missed seeing his gorgeous face and hearing his smooth voice. I hold back an urge to hug him and cry in relief.  
"How are you doing, Sasuke-chan?" I walk up to him, internally laughing at his pissed off face.  
"Don't call me that." he growls. I fake a sad look.  
"Fine. What about Sasgay?"  
"No."  
"Sassy-uke?"  
The boy makes a sickened face.  
"That's the worse I've ever heard..." he hissed. "Did you come here just to torment me?"

I plop down on his bed, completely disregarding any personal space issues he might have.  
"Well... No." I rub my hands together. "I came to see if you were feeling OK."  
He looks mildly shocked.  
"I'm fine. I didn't get to see your match. How did you do?" he asks, probably just out of politeness.  
I flinch, my feelings a mixture of embarrassment and discomfort when remembering the pain.  
"Eh, I won. But I was roughed up pretty bad. I just had my stitches taken out." I show him the line that runs down the length of my thigh. He nods.  
"Good job. I thought you would lose."  
I huff and shove him in the shoulder.  
"Why does everyone think I suck so bad?" I sigh.  
Sasuke lifts an eyebrow and sits up straighter.  
"It's because you obviously lack real life experience. And also because nice people usually don't make it very far in fights." he explains.

"You think I'm nice? I didn't expect that from you, Sasuke-kun." I chuckle.  
"You take a sick pleasure in bothering me, but I know that you usually treat others too kindly." he shrugs, staring at a point behind my head curiously. I don't bother checking because I assume that he's thinking about something using that messed up Uchiha brain of his.  
Guilt stabs my heart. I suddenly remember how cool Sasuke really is despite me knowing what will happen in the future.  
"Yeah... Listen Sasuke-kun... I've got something to say." I look him in the eyes. I see a tiny tinge of fear. It's probably because of my sinister expression. "We haven't know each other for a long time... We aren't the best of friends. However, seeing you like this... I've got something very important to ask you..." I silently grab his hand in mine. I can practically feel him freeze in panic. "How do you get your hair to do that? I'm mean, seriously, it's like a duck's ass. I'm mesmerized."

Sasuke gives me long look. He lets out the breath he was holding.  
"I thought you were going to propose for a minute!" he gasps.  
"Hah, you should have seen your face!" I laugh, patting his hand and not letting it go.  
We sit in a strange silence.  
"Are you drunk?" asks Sasuke slowly. I put his hand down and shake my head.  
"No!" I grin. "I'm just... I'm glad you seem to be doing so well. I really do like you, OK? Don't get the wrong idea just because I'm such a bitch to you."

The Uchiha gives me long look.  
"What happened to you?" he asks, suspicious.  
I slap his face, not hard enough for it to do much else but sting a little.  
"I got scared during your match! I thought for a second that you might not make it so I starting feeling bad for being so judgmental and mean. Sorry." I huff.  
"Oh, so that's why you came into my room and made fun of me?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow again.  
I jump off his bed.  
"Exactly! You're fine now, so I can go on being totally horrible to you!" I grin, tapping his cheek. He gives me a murderous glare. "I'm going to go now, or it's going to be very awkward and your fangirls might detect me. Stay safe, Mr. Handsome Sparkle."

Sasuke sighs.  
"At least that one is half nice."  
I suddenly remember something. I dig my scroll out of my pocket and summon a plastic bag.  
"Here, I nearly forgot! This is for you. I asked Naruto-kun what I could get you and he suggested these." Sasuke pulls out some rice balls and tomatoes out of the bag, looking mildly satisfied. "He tried to visit you a few days ago but they weren't allowing visitors anymore. Since then, he has been training so he didn't have the time to come along. He says hi and hopes that you're doing OK. And that he's going to kick your ass."  
"Naruto...? Oh. Well, thank you." huffs Sasuke, going into deep though. "I'll thank baka too next time I see him."  
We share another evil, entertained glance before I leave him alone.

Once I step out of the hospital, I feel a deadly aura surrounding me. It fills me with stress and giggly butterflies at the same time. Oh, this guy is going to turn me into a masochist...  
"Gaara-kun?" I ask into thin air. The redhead appears out of the shadows. "Hi! I didn't know you were back. What are you doing outside the hospital?"

"I could ask you the same thing." he deadpans, glaring holes at me. Seriously, who pissed in his congee?  
"Well, out of the two of us, someone had to get their stitches taken out and it wasn't you." I cross my arms, not particularly enjoying his bad mood after not seeing him for a couple days. "And you?"  
"It doesn't concern you." says the boy curtly, making me frown.  
"Are you OK? You aren't the most charming person I know but you are usually not this snappy either." I chew the inside of my cheek.

Gaara gives me a long look, obviously not going to share his innermost feelings with me.  
"Did Kankuro end up getting the mochis?" asks the boy suddenly. I welcome the abrupt change of subject. I plaster a grin on my face and the tension in the atmosphere melts away.  
"Yes! I'm so glad you remembered that, actually! You guys are literally life savers. I totally needed the sugar, hospital food doesn't suit my gourmet slash fat-ass needs."

"..." The other redhead doesn't know how to answer that. I see him dart his eyes away from me up to a hospital window. A sudden wave of icy fear shoots down my spine.  
"Are you looking for Lee?" I ask. What is he going to do? Murder someone?  
Gaara's eyes jolt back to me.  
"No." he replies monotonously.

I'm not sure if he is lying or not... Who else would he want to stalk though?  
"Sasuke?" I question, frowning.  
Judging by the darkening of the boy's eyes, I hit the target.  
"Why?...Oh! That's why Sasuke-kun was staring behind me... You were watching him with an eye of sand, weren't you?"  
"And you were in his room. On his bed. Holding his hand." Gaara says in an eerily calm voice. When I chuckle, he gives me a look so murderous that I flinch a little.  
"Well, that's called bad timing! Sasuke is my friend, I think, so I went to visit him. However, why were you looking for him? I know it's not for a friendly visit. You'll get to fight him in a month anyways. He needs his rest. Don't pick a fight now, will yah?" I sigh, rubbing the side of my face with my hand. I don't want Gaara to get pissed, but right now I'm feeling protective (guilty for being mean) whenever I think about Sasuke. "Fights, fights, fights. Now is not the time."  
"Himeko-chan..." says Gaara in that calm voice. My heart beats a little faster. "Don't get involved in what you're bad at."

A second tics by before what he says registers into my brain. My jaw drops. Oh... he did not just go there. I give him a soft slap in the face (one that doesn't hurt and doesn't trigger his sand armor) and leave my hand on his cheek. Gaara stands, frozen to his spot. I slowly and not-so-gently trail my hand down his face until it reaches his chin, then I retract my palm. The boy gives me a mortified look. I smile.  
"You know what Gaara-kun..." I wanted to tell him that he was a really nasty bitch. But I didn't. "I've gotten crap from my teammates, from Kankuro, from my medics, from Sasuke and I'm sure that even my cat was secretly making fun of me for bleeding myself half to death despite _winning my match_. With quite an ingenious plan, I might add. Oh... OK. I get it. I obviously lack battle experience. That was my first _ever_ real fight, if you must know. And I didn't lose. So sorry if I'm not sorry that I didn't live a violent upbringing like all of you shinobi people, but don't tell me I suck. In fact, you know what? I freaking rock." I snap my fingers at Gaara's blank, surprised face. "Himeko out, mofo."

I turn on my heels and walk back to the hotel, leaving a very confused redheaded boy to stand outside Konoha hospital alone.

* * *

"Let's go on a mission." I announce the second I step into our bedroom. "Something C ranked. Get out of the village. Battle experience is needed here."

Yuuki and Ryo look up at me.  
"I'd much rather not." responds my cousin right away.  
"She has a point. We should be training our technique right now. Experience isn't the priority since... Well... We won't be fighting each other to the death when our match comes, won't we?" chuckles the boy. "But I get what you mean. You do lack actual insight on how people act in fights. You are capable of planning out your moves, but you overestimated that girl's speed and ended up hurt. Plus, you kept making false predictions and took the risk of getting injured. You aren't good at sword fighting. You could have died."  
I put my hands up.  
"Woah, don't pick on the ginger. That's why I want to go on a mission. To see the ninjas in motion and have a workout at the same time." I explain, then slump on the bed. "But that's just me isn't it? Yuu-cha, you don't need to because you aren't fighting. And you, Ryo-kun..."

The guy smiles and shrugs.  
"I've had my fair share of nasty fights. I might not be a pro concerning ninja, but people all react similarly when it comes to fighting. And since I have experience, I can tell how they plan on fighting based on their attitudes. That's the type of stuff you can only learn the hard way." Ryo explains, a tinge of anger filling his voice.  
I pat him on the shoulder, remembering what he had gone through before we came here. We all had lost our parents and siblings at some point in our pasts but, unlike Yuuki and I, Ryo didn't have a good enough relationship with the rest of his relatives and ended up with very unwelcoming family members. It didn't go too well.  
I shake my head. No use dwelling on that now. Viviane, Charles and Sara... Our past selves stopped existing for us the second we came here. Now, we had to focus on the future. And the present. Because we were never, ever going back.

"At least you picked up stuff that was useful for our current situation. I read books." I sigh. "This afternoon, I'll go back to the Hokage tower and ask to be placed in a squad for the duration of a mission. Is that fine with you two?"  
"Try to think about it more..." nods Ryo. "I think that it's reckless and dangerous to be going on a mission now. You just came out of the hospital. If you keep yourself safe, however, I've got no objection. I think that you've learned your lesson after your match."  
"Make sure you don't end up with creepos. And don't take a dangerous mission, OK?" smiles Yuuki.

I frown. Well, these two seem to have gotten sick of me. I laugh internally. That's what I get for constantly ditching them to go stalk Gaara.  
"OK. I might be gone a few days. I'll try to go somewhere cool, if I can!"

* * *

"A C ranked mission..." hums the Hokage, staring at me in surprise. "I don't get requests from genin from unknown villages very often."

I nod.  
"I know, I didn't even know if it would be possible. I was hoping to be able to go to other villages for visiting purposes someday but if I got a mission there it would be great. I would be getting experience to help for my match in a month as well as getting money for my team... I don't know if we will have enough cash to afford the long stay at the hotel either and I don't want to bankrupt their business, so this seemed like a pretty good idea to me." I try not to act nervous, but addressing the big boss without my team to back me up is a little stressful. "Is it feasible? I am a solo here, so I could easily join any ninja trio who are seeking one more member."

"I understand that. However, and excuse me saying this, I don't much about you. I can't be sure if you are fit for the job." explains the man.  
"Ah. I admit, I do lack strength, but my team is actually pretty good at genjutsus. And I am also apt at teleporting and sensory type jutsu, so that could be useful. Plus, I know basic healing jutsu." I give him a simplified/slightly altered version of my abilities.  
"I saw your match, Tanaka-san, and with the information you have just provided me I think that I might have a mission for you!" The Hokage searches through his papers. I hold my breath. The old man looks up at me with a smile. "Tomorrow, there is a container of water to be delivered to Sunagakure. The man who owns the cart is a retired shinobi, so he only asked for three other people to accompany him for safety reasons. A pair of chuunin have already been assigned to the team, so you can join them. One of them, a young lady, is quite a talented swordsman and mid-range fighter. The young man is a medic-nin and a capable close-ranger. If you can do genjutsu, then you would count as a long-range fighter. I call that a very well balanced squad." The Hokage looks satisfied, giving me a warm grin.

"Thank you! When do I have to join them?" I ask. Suna! I buzz in excitement. That is more than perfect! I want to see Gaara, Kankuro and Temari's village and... hopefully I'll get to meet the Kazekage as well. I shiver in disgust.  
"10 in the morning. The whole mission is scheduled to last a week, so please think it over before accepting." adds the Hokage.  
"No, no, I accept right now. I need to meet new people. My team will probably train more efficiently with me away as well, since I tend to distract them." I chuckle.  
"OK. That is done, then. Good luck, Tanaka-san!"

Right now, I could give the Hokage a great big bear hug.

* * *

The next day.

I had said my goodbyes to my friends, who made sure that I had enough to eat for at the least a week (seriously, my team members are both pretty good cooks. I seem to be the only painfully mediocre person in that domain).

I made my way to the village gates and when I saw who was on the mission with me, I gasped.  
"Kei-san!" I beam, waving to the Hyuga. The man turns.  
"I thought I told you not to push yourself?" he chuckles darkly. "You're lucky I'm on the same team as you! Or you would probably die."  
"Who is she?"

I turn to a woman in her early twenties with mid-length, honey blond hair and green eyes. She somehow seems familiar, but I can't place my finger on it.  
"Oh, hi! I'm Himeko Tanaka, nice to meet you. Kei was one of my medics. I am passing the chuunin exams and my first round was bloody. And you are?" I ask.  
"Mei Gekko." she replies sharply. Well, isn't she a ray of sunshine... Talking about rays of sunshine...

Another girl arrives at the village gates, panting for having run all the way.  
"Oh, thank goodness, Mei, you didn't leave yet! Sister, you forgot your special set of kunais!" gasps the girl, her eyes suddenly landing on me. Her blond head with green streaks in it jolts backwards. "AH! Himeko-san?"  
"Hiya, Kanako-san." I smile at the girl, slightly confused. The gears in my head start to turn.

Kanako is Mei's sister. Yesterday, Kanako mentioned that she was meeting her sister and her sister's boyfriend. Mei is being bitchy to me for knowing Kei. Kei has a girlfriend called Mei. My brain does the math.  
"Oh. Kei-san, Mei-san was the person you were making out with tongue with when I called you into my room?" I ask.  
The couple blushes a deep red. Kanako shivers and makes a traumatized face. Poor girl, I shouldn't have said that.  
"Yep. This would be my better half, Mei. My girlfriend. And you know Kanako-chan?" eventually answers Kei.  
I go 'aw' in my head. They make a pretty strange couple, with Kei being so cool and evil humored and Mei being so... unfriendly. Then again, I just met her and she might just have had a bad morning so far. Maybe a snake slid into her room. And bit her dog. And her dog's barking caused Kei to wake up with a start (assuming they lived together). He accidentally kicked her off the bed. She fell on the ground and landed on a bruise she got in a past mission. It made her puke on her favorite pair of socks. The socks were mauve. Thus ruining her day.  
Yep, that must be it. Totally not far fetched.

"This is a strange coincidence. Yes, I met Kanako-san yesterday."  
"Yes! They found Operative Jun and brought him back to the animal training center. It was quite an event!" smiles the girl.  
"So, how's Simba... I mean, Jun, doing?" I ask, my heart bleeding for that tiny ball of fur that has been better company than my friends in the Tower of Doom.  
"He's been an absolute monster so far. He pissed off the other cats and sat on my head all morning to avoid being shredded. Unfortunately, that means that my legs suffered the wrath of twenty angry felines." sighs Kanako. "He's so cute though, he gets away with it. I don't know why Takedo-san named him Jun, though. You know that means 'obedience', right? I think that the boss was either trying to be ironic, or he was drunk when he named the cat, or he was smoking something illegal-..."

She is interrupted when a huge cart being drawn by two horses stops besides us.  
"Oh! Ponies!" meeps Kanako, fangirling over the animals.

Meanwhile, a man who looks in his fifties waves to us from the top of the carriage.  
"So this is the team they sent? A bunch of scrawny little youngsters. Fantastic. I am the owner of the Konoha water trading enterprise, retired shinobi. You can call me Hirohito. What do I call you little critters?"  
"Mei Gekko."  
"Kei Hyuga."  
"Himeko Tanaka."  
"Oh, so cute! You are so very cute..."

We all turn to Kanako, who is nuzzling the horses and covering their snouts with kisses. She stops, looks embarrassed, bows, then runs off after waving one last time to her sister.  
"... Alright. Well, hop on, you three, and lets get going! Stop standing there like fish statues!" shouts Hirohito.  
"Oy, no need to get snappy, old man! We were the ones waiting for you!" growls Mei, jumping onto the cart besides the man.  
Kei and I share a glance. He smiles apologetically.  
"I know what you're thinking Himeko-san..." sighs the man. "And you are correct. This is going to be a very long week."

* * *

**Hopefully that wasn't too many OCs in one go. Don't worry, only Kei, Mei and Kanako will be recurring characters for now and there is a reason for that. Aren't they just creepy and lovely?**  
**I know it can be annoying when writer just overwhelm you with OCs but... I really wanted to see the Kazekage! And no one else is going with Himeko so the next chapter for the main plot will not have anyone from Konoha in it (and yes, there is a reason that her friends ditched her, all in good times)... But hey! We're going to Suna! The Kazekage! Yay!  
Once the Akatsuki story-line is over, I'll post that bonus chapter thingy. So, from now on, I am open to suggestions. Something funny, creepy, cute, weird... As long as it is pg-13 (I don't want anyone dissecting a human corpse or anything...).  
Well, I hope you enjoyed that! I totally loved writing the Sasuke and Gaara scenes... XD. And for you SasuNaru fans, I hope you got the parallel between Himeko/Kankuro and Naruto/Gaara and Sasuke/Himeko for who gets who food... Hinting. And yes, not all endgames will be heterosexual. The main pairing in the story is GaaHime though, and all other ones will be side-pairings and still get mentions. 'Cause I've got to feed my NejiTen, ShikaTema and SasuNaru fans (plus others), do I? XD**

**OK, have great day / week / life! Remember, the sun shall rise again tomorrow (unless it suddenly explodes)!**  
**Peace, love, I hate dissertations,**  
**XOXO ~~ HimekoUchia (French is my least favorite subject this year... Last year, it was my favorite... Shows how much a teacher can affect you.)**


	43. Akatsuki: The Final Autograph

**HimekoUchia: Hello, first of all, I have a message to a certain reader of mine who shall not be named. I was informed that you were... ahem... a little too inspired by my fanfic. It was said that you used a few ideas and scenes from The Battle Plan in your own story. I don't mind if you want to use some ideas from TBP in your own fanfics, thought I would like a notice and credit instead of someone else having to inform me about it. You know who you are :)  
Himeko: And many thanks to my reader who actually noticed this and let me know. You must be very observant :)  
Ryo: So, the last settlement of the Akatsuki Plan. The authoress just-...  
HimekoUchia: IGCSE FIRST LANGUAE AND LITERATURE BABY! Yah, as a student in a French school those are the two only IGCSE I take so I had to focus my work into these since they are required if I consider applying to a UK uni. Sorry... *dodges bullets  
I bring to you... The final Akatsuki plan chapter! The end! Hope you guys enjoyed the mini-series!**

* * *

**Akatsuki Plan: Chapter 8: The Final Autograph**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_So as I am walking along, quietly humming to myself. The atmosphere is eerie and fear clenches my heart, but that is expected when in the Akatsuki base. I shrug off the feeling and decide to walk some more._

_Suddenly, my blood freezes over when I hear another person breathing behind me.__  
__I turn, but it's too late.__  
__I am shoved against the wall. A hand claps painfully around my throat, cutting off my oxygen supply.__  
__I glare at my attacker. At the red eye peeking out from the hole in a certain Akatsuki member's swirly orange mask._

* * *

"H-hel-lo!" I choke out, wrapping my hands around Tobi's wrist.  
The man only tightens his hold on my throat, making tears stream down my face as I officially lose my ability to breath.  
"A trespasser!" laughs the man. "Well, if I get rid of you, the boss will be happy, won't he?"

_Help... Help... Help! Help! HELP! It's Madara! Tobi! He's trying to kill me!  
_I scream frantically in my head to my friends, praying that someone will arrive in the next... oh, two seconds or else I'm going to faint.  
Unfortunately, no one does and my oxygen-less body is too exhausted to kick at the man. I dart my eyes to the wall on the other side of the corridor and try to focus on it despite my blurring vision.  
The next second, I am lying on the cold, hard ground, gasping for air. I rub my hands on my neck. It feels as if my windpipe was stuck between Tsunade's breasts. I wipe my eyes clear of tears, standing up just as the Akatsuki member turns around, having gotten over his initial confusion.

I back into the wall but he is faster. He lunges and grabs my throat again. This time, he doesn't take any chances and squeezes like a pyscho. My world turns black-...

"Stop."

Light comes back to me in an overwhelming vortex and collapse against the wall, gasping for breath and thoroughly horrified. That was close. That was so close...  
I turn my head towards my savior and slowly stumble towards him.  
"Sasori-san? Why didn't you want me to continue?" giggles Tobi. "Boss hates trespassers!"

"Right now, they are guests and soon to be either honorary Akatsuki members or dead." explains the redhead.  
Right now, my love for Sasori is unbearably strong, even though I know that whatever reason he had for helping me was probably a selfish one. That was terrifying.  
"Oh no!" The Uchiha grabs my hand, making me yelp. "I'm so sorry pretty lady! I didn't know!"

I want to scream and punch the man so hard in the gut that he will be able to taste last year's lunch, but I know that the only thing I can do is play this situation in my favor.  
"It's- ahem. Ow. It's OK. Just doing your job, right?" I force a smile onto my face.  
"How could I make it up to you? Please! Toby is a good boy!" cries the man, desperately trying to keep his naïve facade in front of Sasori.

Make it up to me? How can you make it up for someone for nearly killing them? There is no way. Though I should still get something out of this...  
"Yes. Please sign this autograph book. That would be fantabulous." I suggest, handing the man my notebook. He hastily nods and scribbles his name with little hearts surrounding it.

Good. Now all I need to do is get Sasori's one and my collection is complete-...  
"HIMEKO!" shout Ryo and Yuuki, rushing into the corridor.  
"A little late." I huff, quickly walking towards them on shaky legs. My cousin catches me when I stumble.  
"Take her away. And remember, Pein-sama wants an answer soon." orders Sasori coldly.

Since no one is really in a position to argue with him, my team and I return to our rooms. I slowly collapse onto my bed, Ryo and Yuuki's eyes never leaving me.  
"What happened?" growls the boy, sitting besides me and checking my temperature.  
_Tobi strangled me real ... I tried to teleport away, but couldn't focus enough to get out of the corridor._

I see both of their eyes widen.  
_Himeko! That is creepy!_ cries Yuuki.  
_Let's just go! Now! This isn't a game anymore!_ huffs Ryo.  
"I ran into a guy with a swirly mask but Sasori-san saved me. I'll go thank him." I answer out loud, getting off the bed and about to leave the room.  
"Himeko... no. Just no." moans Yuuki.  
"Keep an eye on me then! This is important!" I give them a knowing look, so they just sigh and stay glued to the door frame as I skip down to Sasori's room.

I knock on his door. I hear the sound of metal being placed onto a table.  
The room opens up to a placid looking redhead staring back at me.  
"Heya Sasori-sempai..." I smile, waving awkwardly at him.  
"What do you want?" he asks calmly.  
"Um... Thanks for saving my butt just now... That guy was scary." I answer.  
"Tobi is extremely rash when making decisions. He was just following orders. That was just... wrong place, wrong time." shrugs the man, blinking his wooden eyes.

I nod and pull out my notebook, feeling warm and bubbly that he's being so nice (by his standards), but I still didn't miss the slight suspicion I see glinting in his eyes.  
"You're really cool! Could I have your autograph?" I grin.  
The redhead gives me a long look and slowly signs the paper.  
"Thanks!" I cheer. Last one down! None to go.  
"You've go them all..." Sasori seems to have heard my thoughts. "You asked everyone for their autographs. That means that you want to leave now."  
I jolt a little in shock, not realizing that he had noticed.  
"Well, I do have all your autographs... but I can't really leave, can I?" I hum.  
"You'll never get out. Whatever you're planning, just forget it, brat. Save yourself the trouble. You need to be a trusted Akatsuki member to be able to open the door." explains the puppet-nin.

"I know. I'm going back to my room now..." I bow and turn away.  
"Wait."

Sasori disappears back into his room for a few seconds. I watch curiously as he rummages through his cabinets until he pull out a small black body bag.  
"Nope nope nope nope nope nope..." I gag, backing away from his room. I accidentally walk off a ledge and start falling backwards, downwards towards the common room below.  
My heart painfully jolts in my rib cage. I'm gonna break something.

I feel something painfully clasp around my wrist and tug me back to safety.  
Thank goodness for Sasori's extendable arm...  
"..." I sheepishly rub the back of my neck. "... Oops?"  
"You are the most idiotic brat in the world." grinds the man out from in between his teeth. He shoves the body bag into my arms. "Does it smell like a rotting corpse to you? Is it the appropriate size?"  
I glance down at the shape in my hands. Whatever it is, it's hard and doesn't feel like dead meat.  
"No, it smells like unwashed laundry. And it's... quite small." I cautiously open it.

My eyes pop out of their sockets. Figuratively, of course.  
I pull out a tiny puppet that I thought I would never see again.  
"Pinocchio! You... how did you...Oh... I missed you... So much hard work..." I sniff, hugging the puppet to myself.  
"You dropped it when escaping Hidan. I picked it up. Take it back, that brat Deidara accidentally found it and thought that I really had made a young, wooden boy companion for... shady purposes." spits out the redhead.

I laugh and pull Sasori into a tight hug. His body, flat from head to toe, is plastered against mine.  
A second later, I fall to the floor, holding my painful tits.  
"Ooooowwwwwww I forgot that you were completely artificial... and don't have squishy pecs." I gently rub my boobies to help alleviate the pain, chuckling when Sasori rolls his eyes, looking away from my obscene display.

"Well, thanks for everything, Sasori-sempai! I love you to pieces!" I blow him a kiss and march back to my room, turning back after a second. "Figuratively. I'm not actually gonna hack you to bits with my affection and-..."  
"Just go."

I run back to my friends and we lock the door.  
"Look who's back!" I grin, showing them the small puppet. My friends lift an eyebrow. I cradle Pinocchio to my chest. "... Sasori-sempai found him."  
I quickly place the wooden man on my bed and search in the various cavities in his body (not in a weird way, I did not make him a butthole to begin with).  
_Yup, thought so. Sasori placed a tracking device, a camera and a voice recorder in it. He doesn't trust us one bit. Smart guy..._

I tuck Pinocchio into bed.  
"Come on, you stay here. We're gonna walk around the base and then... eh, we have a meeting with Pein-sama." I sigh, exiting the room once again, my team following without question.  
We make our way to the place where we originally lost the puppet. Ryo silently points at a spot in the wall.  
"You sure this will work?" he asks quietly.  
I am pretty sure that I can hear all of our hearts thumping like mad. I smile and pull a small, clay turtle out of my pocket. I have a certain blond to thank for giving it to me in the first place. He's going to be in so much trouble.

"About 83% sure." I stick the explosive on the wall and all three of us take a large step back. I put up one finger and focus on the white animal. Bye bye. "Katsu!"  
The bomb goes off with a bang, releasing Deidara's chakra into the invisible door. The wall opens to reveal a hallway.  
"Run like hell."

Ryo, Yuuki and I dart up the staircase. We can already hear someone shouting behind us, though the wall starts closing on itself the second we get past it.  
We somehow make it outside alive without being ambushed by an Akatsuki member-...

"And where do you think you're going?"  
We spin around and face Zetsu. Shit! I forgot that he can get through walls!  
"Oh hell nah!" growls Ryo. "Just wilt, you daffodil!"  
The S-ranked criminal suddenly drops to the ground, in a pile with his black cloak, giving him the impression of being a hungover Death Eater.

The guy on my team and I turn to face Yuuki. She smirks.  
"I hope that we now go into 'do or die mode'. I'm just happy that worked so easily. Zetsu must really be an empty-headed guy if he has absolutely no genjutsu slash mind penetration defense up." she chuckles.

I grab both of their hands and look as far as I can into the forest. Teleport. Repeat. The trees around us pass in chunks, as if we were watching a picture slideshow.  
In five minutes we are a good fifty kilometers away from the Akatsuki base.  
"No resting yet! Ryo, get the map and compass!" I huff, bracing myself against a tree, the continuous space jumping mixed with how my windpipe was left after Tobi's assault, both leaving me breathless and lightheaded.  
My friend grabs his scroll and summons the desired objects and, after five seconds of flipping the paper around and spinning on spot, he points us in a direction north-east of where we are.

During our trip that consists of teleporting and ninja running, I suddenly remember something that I wanted to point out.  
"Before we left... I really wanted to confirm our suspicions once and for all. So I hugged Sasori. Like, hardcore. Full on body hug, our bodies completely touching and all." I tell my friends after checking to make sure that no one was in the surroundings.  
"Um... where is this going?" grins Yuuki.  
"He doesn't have a dick." I announce solemnly.  
There is a second of silence before we are start choking in laughter. I only feel a little bad for making fun of the redhead but, hey, he's the one who made that sacrifice himself.  
"Poor guy..." sighs Ryo, shaking his head from side to side.

After forty minutes, we see the large gates of Konoha appear.  
"Saved!" I gasp, running off to the doors, kneeling in front of them and banging my fists on the wood like a crazy savage.

A few seconds later, a familiar looking chuunin opens the gates and welcomes us back into the village.  
"Well, glad to see you three back in one piece! Except for you, Himeko-san, you have a nasty bruise on your neck! Strange, those are shaped like fingers-..."  
"And WHY are you staring at my neck? I get that it's sensual but I'm underage!" I cut him off, grinning when he looks completely, guiltily mortified.  
"No! I didn't mean..."  
I clap him on the back.  
"I'm just messing with yah! This little trip was quite tough, but we made it." I do a little dance. "We passed the Konoha survival test!"

Ryo and Yuuki cheer along with me, all secretly glad to have made it alive out of the freaking Akatsuki's base.  
The chuunin sweatdrops and does an awkward shoulder and fist shake to join us in celebrating our team victory.

* * *

**Akatsuki Plan: Epilogue: Warm Welcomes**

* * *

The council did not look happy to see us. Not one bit.  
"Oh, you made it back!" exclaims one of the old geezers between ground teeth, forcing a smile onto his face. "How... nice."  
That means that he was either hoping for our deaths or hoping for us to go bother another village instead. These people are so sick of us... I internally chuckle like an evil maniac.

"Yep! We are so, so, _so_ glad to be back in Konoha. I mean, this place has amazing food, great people, fine weather and pure air! We will want to stay forever! Or a thousand years. Whichever one comes last."

All of the council members flinch. Wow, they really dislike immigrants. I guess I can't really blame them for their xenophobia after what happened the _last_ time they invited a group of outsiders into their country... Ahem, chuunin exam ended in war.

"We are glad that you are... enthusiastic about returning to our village. We must know, though, Tanaka Himeko-san, why you are the only one of your team to have suffered any visible injury?" asks an elderly lady. I chuckle and rub the back of my neck in fake sheepishness.

"Somewhere south-west of Konoha, my team found a relatively safe place so we decided to split up to find more food. We felt like stockpiling a bit. So, I was walking along all alone and then... this redheaded man appeared out of nowhere with his loud little puppy. The guy was pretty young and the dog was a golden retriever. The man seemed friendly but then I had this bad feeling. Turns out, he was a creep who found and killed people and then collected their bodies."

I pause and lick my lips for added effect. I plaster a disgusted look on my face.

"I only noticed the explosives the dog was carrying and the severed arm the redhead was carrying when he started attacking me. I tried to run but then loads of other thieves arrived. They seemed to be working together yet they all wanted to attack me for different reasons. They were amateurs. One of them wanted to perform some weird ritual involving drinking my blood, one wanted to rob me of my money, one wanted to trap me in a tank full of piranhas for an experiment, one wanted to try out his poisonous piercings on me and the last person just wanted to turn my skin into paper. Oh, and there were two other dogs: one was a vicious flesh-eating one, the other was pretty apathetic and just tracked me and watched the fight. I teleported immediately away, though not back to my camp since I didn't want the dogs to track my friends too. However, I saw one more guy. I was going to attack him but he was just a normal candy salesman."

I take a deep breath before continuing my narration.

"He acted so innocent I didn't suspect anything at first. However, he eventually slipped up and explained who the bandits were and their motives. I asked him how he knew all of that. Turns out, he was with them. He took me off guard, punched me in the chest and tried to strangle me but I kicked him in the nuts. I then decided to just teleport to each of my teammates so that we could abandon the area, since it obviously wasn't so safe to begin with."

Yuuki and Ryo are noticeably chewing the inside of their cheeks to keep from laughing at my allegorical story, but the council members are either horrified or mildly curious.  
"Really? Did these bandits were any headbands?" asks a senior citizen.  
"No. I don't think so. I wasn't really paying attention but I don't remember them wearing any. Besides, they didn't use much jutsu, they just masked their chakra so that I wouldn't feel them. They weren't super strong, or I would have probably died. Big time." I fake a cringe, once again thanking my talent at extrapolating lies.

The council either believes me, or simply doesn't care any longer. The head of council sighs and stamps our mission report. The sound echoes with fatality.  
"Welcome back to Konoha."

* * *

**Dun dun dun dun dun... END!**

**Well, aren't we sad to see the Akatsuki go? No worries, they will reappear within the canon, during the course of the manga. Talking about the manga, was anyone laughing their ass off at Sasuke? What a hilarious, flip-floppy douche.**  
**I hope that everyone has picked up on all the references in this chapter... Some of them were incredibly obvious. The others... well... "nine and three quarters". That is all. And the How I Met Your Mother one.**

**Ah... I hope that everyone enjoyed the finale of the Akatsuki Plan. From now on, focus will return to the main plot, so say bye! I've got most of the next chapter written so hopefully you'll forgive the delay (again).  
****Have a good exam period (if you are in one) and just... school... and life!  
****Love and durian mochis (yum),  
****XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (goodness, has anyone eaten at the Thai restaurant called 'Greyhound'? Try to complicated noodles, Vietnamese springs rolls and chicken wings if you do! Simply mouth-baby-angel-rainbow heaven.)****  
**


	44. Real Life and Sunagakure

**HimekoUchia: So this was tremendously late... *bows* You may throw dead possums.  
I was on a school trip (yes, another one) to Ning Xia, the poorest province of China. It was a great experience and darn was it hilarious to see the horrified looks on my French classmates' faces when they served homemade noodles for breakfast XD.  
Himeko: She doesn't own anything. This was a long wait so the chapter is super long again.  
Ryo: No more waiting time, just read on.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_"... Alright. Well, hop on, you three, and lets get going! Stop standing there like fish statues!" shouts Hirohito.__  
__"Oy, no need to get snappy, old man! We were the ones waiting for you!" growls Mei, jumping onto the cart besides the man.__  
__Kei and I share a glance. He smiles apologetically.__  
__"I know what you're thinking Himeko-san..." sighs the man. "And you are correct. This is going to be a very long week."_

* * *

Not even an hour passes before the apocalypse starts.

"Ahh! A raccoon stole our rice!" shouts Mei, desperately grabbing for the rodent. But it was too late. The furry little bastard jumps down a hole, disappearing forever, dragging a large sack of grain behind him.  
There was a silence so deathly that you could practically hear the sound of a million Asian angel babies crying.  
"No more rice..." I mutter, a dark raincloud started to form over my head. Before it can turn into a storm, however, Hirohito whacks me over the head with his horse whip. Not very violently, but it still hurts.

"Brats! You are a bunch of spoiled brats! Back in my days, we didn't have rice conveniently given to us during missions! You know what we did?" he leans forward and sharpens his gaze. He then proceeds to scream in my face. "We killed animals with our bare hands! Hunted! So when you're hungry, you get hunting, you bunch of babies! And let the old man do his job in peace, sheesh."  
All of us young people sweatdrop, not feeling brave enough to challenge the authority of this man who was currently flexing his fingers around his riding crop again. His anger management issues were even worse than Mei's.

_I will rob them... I want it all! I hate the world... I hate... people... who are better than me._

"North-east, three people are approaching." I mutter to Kei. He nods and activates his Byuakugan.  
"Just a bunch of drunk idiots. Nothing that deserves investigation." he answers.

This scenario has been repeating itself for hours. I would keep my mind's receptors open to sense nearby people's thoughts. I would only notify Kei if they were thinking something suspicious, so that he could preserve his chakra in case of danger.

Meanwhile, Mei was making sure that we were going in the right direction because, as she said:  
"I don't trust that old fart. He mind drop dead any minute and we've got to complete this mission either way."  
Yes, she is quite the ray of sunshine. If sunshine is the piss of the Mayan God who will eventually cause the Apocalypse. I have yet to witness the side of her that Kei fell in love with.

* * *

"South, a group of five." I huff, frowning. This bunch seemed particularly aggressive.

Kei checked it out, then quickly stood up on the water cart.  
"Thieves. Or maybe rogue shinobi. Get ready to teach them a quick lesson." smiled the Hyuga, obviously quite experienced in the art of battling strangers.

Hirohito sighed and stopped the car.  
"I'll guard the water. You three deal with this." he groaned, stretching his back and popping a few bones. I cringe. Old man.  
"So, Kei said something about you lacking real life battle scenarios..." hums Mei, suddenly appearing beside me. "This is real. More real that the chuunin exams. Only, much easier, if it's just a bunch of out laws. Don't hold your breath."

"Approaching!" shouts Kei.

Suddenly, five streaks of black jet out of the trees and I am momentarily awed at their speed. I snap out of it when Mei slices a man clear in half, showering blood on the clearing.  
I have a sudden urge to gag but manage to not lose my cool for once. After all, I have witnessed Gaara in action and the first round of the chuunin exams. Or I might just be in shock. Probably just shock.  
My survival mechanism kicks in and I push out my shield enough so that a very confused thief splats himself against it. I disable the defense and I hit the man on the side of his head with the back of my sword with all the strength I can muster. Thankfully, he drops to the ground, unconscious.

Kei has already gone all deathly-Hyuga on two enemies and Mei has just beheaded the last guy, meaning that all five bandits were out. I twist my head to avoid looking at the corpses because they make me feel very sick.  
I give my opponent a last kick.  
"That was fast..." I hum, cringing when the KO guy at my feet starts getting a nosebleed. Sorry.  
"Well, these were just ordinary thieves then..." shrugs Mei. Suddenly, she frowns, stepping over the carcasses littered on the forest floor, staring intently at each of the dead.

My eyes catch the pool of red Mei and Kei left. I shiver internally, realizing that my teammates have just murdered in cold blood.  
"Oh my gosh..." I groan, propping myself up against the cart. "Four people died. For a water supply."  
"Four?" gasps Mei. Before I can stop her she races over and stabs my guy in the chest. My jaw drops.  
"Mei-san! He fainted! Why did you-..."

I am cut off by a hard squeeze on the shoulder. Mei's green eyes burn into mine.  
"Himeko-san. Look at the men."  
The woman forces me to look at the bloody corpse at my feet. Blood pulsing out of his artery. Blood streaming down his nose. Slice on the side of his face. Dead.  
I feel a cold lump the size of a golf ball in my throat. Mei gives me a little shake and I realize what she wants me to see. A headband so scratched out I can't see the village symbol.  
"Rogue-nin." I deadpan.

Mei shakes her head.  
"Maybe. Or maybe they're an enemy village's shinobi who mutilated their headbands for anonymity. They might be trying to sabotage the mission and create tension between Konoha and Suna." she explains calmly. "Whichever it is, we can't let them report back to their village. Our mission is our priority. Once we step out of Konoha's borders, we leave the altruistic humanism behind. They were trying to kill us first. We fight back or die. We kill them, or they kill us. That's real life, OK?"

I hastily nod my head. Mei gives me a hard shove.  
"Good! Now suck it up, sissy. Those guys were easy. Probably just chuunin. Anyways, they didn't know that we had a sensory type shinobi and a Hyuga with us. We were too prepared for them. Good job team."  
The woman gives me a last nasty pinch before taking her place on the cart again. Kei joins her.  
I gulp before returning to my lookout spot.

* * *

The next three days pass in a repetitive but traumatic flash. The fact that I witnessed more death kicked in and I sort of starting weeping quietly whilst staring eerily at trees for the lives those dead ninja could have had. Thankfully, neither Hirohito or Mei caught me and Kei was all brotherly to make me feel better. Nice guy, really.  
There are more random attacks, with Kei taking pity on my innocence and quickly helping me finish off my passed out opponents before Mei could shout at me for being a softy. No deaths by my hands yet.  
I don't even get wounded (except for that one time I got badly cut when a earth style jutsu user showered rocks at me from over my shield. Kei healed me so, other than that, my defense has proven useful in prepared attacks).

I get growled at by Hirohito more than once for spilling fish blood on him when gutting our meals. It was mildly satisfying but he was still scary. We camped out for seven hours per night to let the horses rest and took turns keeping watch. Goodness, that was scary to be the one up and having to wake my team up when a duo of hopeful pickpockets had found us. Mei decided to spare them for being so pathetic. Just a hard punch to the face.

Other than that, we manage to make it until the Land of Wind border controls without anyone losing a limb. However, I have officially understood the horror of 'real life' battling. I must say, I am grateful for having three experienced shinobi (especially painfully honest ones like Mei or Hirohito) on my team who could have easily handled the attacks without me. It was reassuring to know that they actually knew what they were doing and were surprisingly understanding of my aversion to murder.  
"We have all been there." had nodded Kei, giving me a nice smile.

Thanks goodness for Kei for keeping me sane through all of this. And Mei for being a nasty witch with great moments of ruthless wisdom to share. And Hirohito for snoring so damn loud.  
We were a strange but efficient team. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be (minus the gore).

Since the desert is hot and sunny and sandy, we all have to follow the Land of Wind tradition of wearing those weird towel things around our faces. It is actually useful for keeping our faces non-burnt-to-a-crisp. I still need to lather on a shit ton of suncream though, since I am genetically mutated and cursed with red hair and useless skin.

A few hours pass until Hirohito stops.  
"We're here." he announces.  
I scan the area, confused at the barren landscape.  
"Where? I don't see anything..." I hum. Hirohito glares at me.  
"That's why it's called a 'hidden' village, genius. If we walked on a higher dune, we would be able to see the buildings from the top, but since we are not on a leisurely landscape visit, we went straight to the hidden entrance." he snaps. I nod, since I have learned not to argue with this old coot when he is in one of his moods.

The horses slowly walk though a tall dune, which is actually just a stone gate disguised in sand. Two border guards inspect our permits before checking the carriage and letting us in.  
We arrive in Sunagakure. My eyes widen. The village is organized like a spider web, with the Kazekage tower in its center, main roads dashing from it and thousands of small buildings packed around them.  
"Whoah..." I gasp... "It's so... monotonous."  
Mei laughs and painfully hooks an arm around my shoulders. Oh no, she's gonna kill me.  
"Don't say that, Hime-chan!" she says mockingly. "Look there... That's sand color. That other building is light sand colored. The other one is sand colored with kanji on it. That one right there is a rosy sand. That one is yellow sand. Oh! That one is gray-... Oh, no, it's just a shadow."

I manage to crack a smile. Well, Mei is happy to have finally arrived.  
The horses shuffles past the gates and down into the village. We all silently sit on top of the protected water supply, ignoring the uneven ground that makes the whole carriage jiggle. I immediately feel engulfed into a huge army of sand buildings and the sun seems to beat down like a furious demon.  
Talking about demons...

I swallow. This is Gaara's village. This is the Sand siblings' village. It's just so...  
Wow! No wonder they act so nasty. This place isn't exactly homey. All Suna citizens we pass either nod politely or simply ignore us. No goofy grins. No frantic children.  
Just sunburned people with faces partially covered by cloth. Oh wait, one guy smiles at us! Yay! I wave at him and he shyly waves back.  
Well, there is only one friendly Suna person so far. Maybe the sun is just especially hot today. I notice that there aren't many gingers. Well, thank goodness for them, since with this desert climate they would probably just start flaking away into nothingness (except for Gaara, because he has magical resistance).

The carriage eventually stops in front of a building which I presume to be the water reservoir. Hirohito starts whipping the door. Kei, Mei and I frown.  
It works and a minute later a good-looking middle-aged man opens the entrance up so that the horses and our entire stock of water can pass through.  
"Nice to see you again Hirohito-san. And you three, welcome! Thank you for the delivery." nods the man, letting out a slight smile. "Come in, come in."

We all get off the carriage. When my feet hit the ground, I realize that this pain in the ass mission is finally over. I twirl once.  
"We have brought the required supply of water for your village. It should last a month or two." explains Hirohito.  
"Yes, very good. One of you now has to report to the Kazekage-..."

"I'll do it!" I suddenly call out. There is a moment of silence as everyone stares at me. "Yeah, um... I'm used to be the one reporting. Besides, I want an excuse to remain indoors to avoid any chance of a stroke or something."  
Really, I want to meet Gaara's father. And see if he is really as horrible as I imagine him or worse.  
Hirohito shrugs and hands me a bunch of papers.

"Suit yourself miss. Aoi-chan, stamp their documents so that they can turn them in to the Kazekage. And then maybe get these shinobi something to eat, they look as if they had to catch their meals themselves."  
"Hai." comes a bored voice in the background. I see a black form shuffling and a young girl eventually appears in front of me. My mouth goes dry.  
She is about my age. Dark blue eyes. Red lips. Pale skin. Wavy jet black hair that cascades to the bottom of her back.  
Hot damn. Gaara, you've got competition for title of Suna's hottest teenager.  
Seriously, is it just me, or are the people from this village just insanely pretty?

I suddenly feel overwhelmed by this girl's beauty. Kinda like a painful inferiority complex... but not exactly of course... ahahah... maybe just a little.  
I realize that I am staring and so does Aoi. She lifts an thin, dark eyebrow.  
"I think the sun must have disconnected her neurons. Don't worry, it's a common effect for newcomers in Suna. You'll eventually get used to the heat." assures the girl, but I hear the sly undertone in her words. I clear my throat, a little embarrassed.  
"Oh yah, that must be it."

She gives me a long, ocean colored gaze.

"... the papers?" she asks, the corner of her lips twitched up.  
I jolt out of my admiration.  
"Yes! Sorry, here." I hand the documents so that she can stamp them and assure the Kazekage that the water was properly delivered. When handing the sheets of paper back to me, she tilts her head to the side and gives me a sweet smile, though I could have sworn that it was more of a smirk.  
"Wait around a little more, I'll go get some juice."

Aoi runs out of the carriage parking and into a large sand house. Once she is out of my sight, I snap out of my daze. I turn to look at my teammates.  
"Kei, stop staring, she is underage. You perv." hisses Mei.  
"Mei, stop staring, she is underage. You perv." retorts Kei.  
The woman's jaw drops and she gives her boyfriend a challenging look. A 'let's see who is the biggest creep' look.  
You know, Mei is getting more and more tolerable as the time passes.

We all shut up when Aoi's father returns with Hirohito, having transferred all of the water into a storage room. Don't want daddy to know that there are currently three people on his property that have ogled at his pretty daughter, especially since two were dating and two were female.  
Aoi is truly gorgeous and seems quite nice. However, I can sense an unnerving aura of danger floating around her. She must be a shinobi.

"So, when are you running off to be the messenger?" huffs Hirohito.  
"As soon as Aoi-san has returned. Then, I will be out of your sight, I promise." I chuckle. This guy thinks that I am such a brat.  
"Well, watch yourself and don't embarrass Konoha. After meeting with the Kazekage, make sure to go to the hotel that we passed as the entrance of Suna. We are leaving tomorrow." replies the old man. I nod.  
"No worries. I won't be mucking about." I promise. Hirohito frowns and leans in a little closer.  
"Not only that, girly. It's never completely safe to be an outsider in a foreign village, especially if you are not associated to a place that is protected by a Kage. If anything happens to you, Lord Hokage won't be able to help. So stay alert and run fast if you are attacked. Understood?" whispers the man.  
For a minute, I am filled with paranoia and shock. Hirohito is right. I look up at the elderly person and flash my first ever smile in his direction.  
"Understood. And thanks."  
Hirohito just nods silently. Maybe he doesn't hate me so much after all. Old people can be so cute.

Aoi swiftly enters the room carrying a tray with five glasses on it.  
She hands each one of us (including her father) a cup of strange colored liquid. It's a greenish shade of yellow. I take a sip. It's quite sour but refreshing nonetheless.  
"Cactus juice. Good for retaining skin moisture." Aoi answers my unasked question.  
Once I finish my glass, I thank Aoi and her father, give my teammates a quick goodbye and walk back out into the burning sunlight.  
Thankfully, the desert is dry so the heat doesn't consume me or make me sweat buckets. It just gives me a hot tingly feeling as I literally feel the UV rays char my sensitive skin off. Awesome.

A few minutes later, I stand in front of the Kazekage tower. Taking a deep breath, I enter the building, showing my papers to the guards so that they don't stab me.  
I am directed to the main office. I stare at the door for five minutes, my heart racing. Behind this door is a super important person. Gaara's dad. Must not embarrass myself. Must remember that he is a douche ass.  
The door suddenly swings opens, making me jump back and squeak. An adult man with spiky auburn hair and a silly looking rice patty hat looks up at me with Kankuro's eyes. Sparkly yellow dust falls off the doorknob and seems back into the sand ground. Huh, is that gold?  
"I apologize for frightening you. However, you were standing behind the door for a long time." says the Kazekage in a calm, professional voice.  
I cautiously walk into the room, staring at the man who made Gaara's life hell. I feel the atmosphere in the office shift slightly to the darker end of the spectrum. I bow quickly.  
"Y-Yes. Sorry. Stage fright." I clear my throat. "Hello, my name is Tanaka Himeko... And I... I am going to be your daughter-in-law one day."

At least ten whole seconds of silence pass with the Kazekage giving me a horrified look before I realize what I just said. I slap my hand over my mouth and start spluttering.

"NO! AH! I didn't mean to say that! I meant to say that I am... here to deliver a mission report. From Konoha. We delivered water. Yep." I spit out rapidly, pretty much melting in embarrassment. Oh my god. Oh my god. What did I do to myself. I should go skinny dipping in a barrel of acid.

Thankfully, the Kazekage just eyes me groaning and fanning my red face for a minute in confusion before checking the mission report.  
"Mission acknowledged. Here is the receipt." The man hands me an envelope, his face never leaving mine. Obviously extremely suspicious. I thank the man and turn to leave, not wanting to further humiliate myself.  
"Wait, Tanaka-san."  
I spin back slowly, grinding my teeth. Oh no, what is he going to do to me?  
"Hai?" I smile.  
The Kazekage takes a deep breath and crosses his fingers.  
"I deeply apologize if my son has been behaving inappropriately. Has Kankuro led you to believe that you are engaged to him?" asks the man sadly.

I accidentally snort in laughter.  
"Kankuro-kun? Oh, no. Well, apart from occasionally walking around with minimal clothing... but, then again, Gaara-kun did that too. And Temari is no prude. Your children have nudist tendencies." I chew the inside of my mouth. "What am I saying? Sorry, I didn't answer your question. No, I don't believe that I am going to marry Kankuro-kun. What I said was a total lapsus. And an inappropriate one at that. I am so sorry."  
"But you know my children?" frowns the Kazekage.  
"Yes, we are all competing in the chuunin exams together. And my team lives right next to them in the hotel."  
"And they told you that they were children of the Kazekage of Suna?" the man suddenly looks a little pissed. Ahah, I'm not falling into the 'I somehow know classified information' trap.  
"No. There are just... many family resemblance." I smile a little but inside, I am doing illegal acupuncture on the man who hurt Gaara. Actually, I had a point. This man has Kankuro's eyes, Temari's face and Gaara's... coldness. And hair.  
Noticing this is making it harder to detest the leader of Suna.

The Kazekage keeps on staring into my eyes. Oh no, he's going all questioning mode on me.  
"I have never met you before. You are an outsider even to Konoha, but you resent me. What did they tell you?"  
I may be a little absent minded at times, but I am not that stupid.  
"Nothing. Kankuro, Temari, Gaara and I are just... barely friends, really."  
The Kazekage's eyes widen.  
"Gaara? Friends?" he raises a thin eyebrow in disbelief.

I feel a nerve in my heart get ripped.  
"YES! And not only that! My teammates can hold conversations with him. He played inappropriate teenager games with all the genin who passed the second round of the chuunin exams. He even admitted that he touches him-... Eh, nevermind. Hell, he even remembers my favorite mochi flavor!" I unintentionally snap at the very important man.  
The Kazekage looks at me for a few more seconds before him face suddenly melts into pure shock.  
"You... you like my son."

My face gets a little redder. Well, I can't refuse and tell such an obvious lie.  
"Maybe."  
You cannot imagine how weird it is to have this conversation with Gaara's freaking father.  
The man frowns and gives me a condescending look.  
"You are getting yourself into unnecessary trouble. Stop before you get killed." orders the Kazekage.

I feel anger bubbling in my chest. Who does he think he is? He might the one paying my mission, but I don't see why he should be giving me advice on how to deal with my nonexistent love life.  
"Stop? I'm sorry, that's not possible. Not _everyone_ is capable of erasing their love for Gaara." I seethe.  
The man suddenly stands up.  
"Don't insinuate that you know my feelings. No matter what you know, it will never be the entire story. You are not doing my job. You are not in my position. You cannot possibly know." spits the Kazekage right back.  
"Whether or not I know the entire story, I know the conclusion of it. Can... Can you see what it did to Gaara-kun? He... he just _rejects_ people. Its a wonder he didn't try to kill me or my teammates yet!"  
"He failed to pass a test. That's all I will tell you." huffs the man.

I laugh humorlessly. This is so ridiculous to me.  
"A test? You sacrificed your son for a test? That's messed up." I cross my arms.  
"A shinobi like him needs to be physically and mentally strong. He was neither." replies the Kazekage with equal sass.  
"He was you son! He was a little kid! Why? Why did you do it? What did you expect? You went too far. There were other ways. He could have change! But now, he's just so damaged that he can't even trust his siblings. You messed up, Lord Kazekage... However, I trust that Gaara is good enough to figure himself out. Just you wait and see." I say with an enormous amount of confidence that I was mostly faking at this moment. The man's eyes lights up in indignation.  
"... Tanaka-san, you know nothing. You do nothing but idolize him blindly." he announces solemnly. Wow, and he accuses me of putting words in his mouth?  
"I don't! Its not like I build Gaara-kun a freaking shrine! I just hope he would become more civil. What choice do I have? I mean, I do love him!" I snap.

There is an uncomfortable silence. The only thing that would make the situation more awkward is if Baki randomly entered the room and started stripping whilst humming an inappropriate song. Bad imagery.  
The Kazekage recomposes himself like the shinobi he is and glares at me with an irritated look. He obviously wished that he could kill me, but that might be just a little unprofessional.

"Love? Do you even know the meaning of that word? And you throw it around like this. What are you, five?" he laughs, a slight sneer in his voice.  
"I'm four!" I bite back.  
"You are immature." he growls.  
"Nope, I'm just French. Disagreeing is in my blood." I click my fingers.  
"You are not fit to be a shinobi with you mindset!" hisses the Kazekage.  
"You're not fit to be a father with your mindset!"

Silence. The tension in this room is equal to the one of watching a falling guillotine blade about to chop off your leg. Oh wow, I am starting to see where Gaara gets his killer aura from. Well, I don't want to die now.  
"I'm so sorry. I was way out of line. I didn't mean any disrespect and you're right, I can't imagine being in your shoes. I was just... angry." I say, bowing as respectfully as I can.  
The Kazekage seems to be debating on whether or not he should hit me with a chair. Eventually, he sighs.  
"I apologize for talking down to you. You aren't my daughter and I had no right to do so." he says with a genuine, non-reluctant tone. Hm.  
I never realized but... the Kazekage isn't actually... horrible. He's so... human and normal. And it bothers me. I want to keep an image of him being a monster, but it's not easy. Maybe... he isn't as bad as I made him out to be in my head.  
"That's fine. I just... Call me reckless, but I still feel the need to defend Gaara." I admit.

The Kazekage gives me an exasperated look as if he is about to give up.  
"What would your parents think if they know that you were doing something so dangerous?" he asks seriously.

That stabs me so hard that I visibly flinch. Ouch. I don't know if he was being caring or simply nasty.  
"I don't know. I didn't bother to ask them before they died." I mutter.  
The man gives me a long look before he nods without an ounce of pity on his face. Obviously, orphans aren't rare in this world.

I blink and realize something.  
"But, Lord Kazekage... you're alive. Kankuro, Temari and Gaara still have you. You still... have a chance." I gulp.  
The village leader gives me an incredulous and more than slightly annoyed look.  
"I am a Kazekage. I have priorities." he says through ground teeth.  
"Are you really this cold or is it just a job requirement?" I frown.  
The man's eyebrow twitches dangerously. He sit back down in his chair and waves his hand.  
"Leave, teenager." he orders monotonously.  
I roll my eyes and bow.  
"I do hope we meet again, sir." I say with a slight smirk. "I can't wait to see the look on your face if Gaara actually does get better. Nice chatting with you."

I turn to make my leave again. The Kazekage is silent behind me, then he suddenly lets out a chuckle.  
"I hope you were right." he mutters.  
I spin around. The man is now giving me a blank, innocent look. What a ninja.  
"Which part?" I ask, more than a little curious and confused.

"Figure it out, Tanaka-san." hums the man, not giving me a hint of a smile.  
I shrug and wave.  
"Enjoy life, sir. For it is fleeting and precious." I announce, trying not to sound ominous. The Kazekage doesn't pick up on any suspicious meaning my words could have.  
"Please get out of my office."  
"Yes, sir."

* * *

I wander around the village, musing to myself.  
I am still not too sure what to think about the Kazekage being such a dick yet quite cool. In more ways than not, he really does resemble Gaara. I feel really guilty thinking this, because this man made the redhead's life hell but... it was his job to protect his village. And Gaara is pretty horrible sometimes.  
I shake my head. I will never be able to handle the emotional pressure of being Kage. I'll be there to cheer on Naruto so that he can achieve his dream.

People somehow sense that I am not from their village (the strange headband might be a dead giveaway) and give me odd looks when I walk by. I smile, wave and greet any people who stare for too long. Everyone either nods or smiles back.  
OK, maybe people from Suna aren't so dead inside after all. They still have manners, if anything.

After a few minutes, my sixth sense kicks in for some reason. A feeling of dread suddenly fills my gut and I direct myself to the hotel.  
The intense sensation of being followed increases greatly the faster I walk. I spin around but notice no one but random villagers who all seem to be going about their days as per usual.  
Ah. This is positively terrifying.

I start jogging and arrive to the edge of the village, then realize that I took the wrong road and am now about three blocks to the left of the hotel. I look over my should and see nothing but an almost empty street. I cut through smaller roads to get to my destination but then I realize that I am headed for a tiny alleyway.  
"Oh are you kidding me?" I groan at the cliché.  
I quickly run into the narrow street and duck behind a large box. I stay silent and wait, keep my senses alert and activating my mind reading because I really don't want to die.  
_Where is she? I think she went through..._

"AHAH!" I shout, jumping out of my hiding place and tackling my stalker. The girl gasps and I scream when I recognize her.  
"You!" I growl, shaking Aoi's shoulders. I make sure to not let my guard down. I really don't know who I can trust in this village. "You scared the absolute daylight out of me! Why were you following me?"  
The teen straightens out her cloths and seems to think up an answer.  
"You seemed lost." she states simply. "And I was wondering if you and your teammates wanted a brief tour before you leave tomorrow?"

I am taken aback.  
"Oh... sure, that's nice." I smile, then frown. "I still don't get why this involves cornering me in a dark alleyway like some creep."  
Aoi chuckles airily and glances away. She looks back at me with an unreadable expression.  
"It was fun?" she makes it sound like a question. She then continues walking through the alley and I follow. "Sorry if I frightened you. You noticed me anyways."  
"Of course! I'm a ninja too, yah know?" I wiggle my eyebrows, trying to cover up that this girl is starting to seriously confuse/scare me.

Thankfully, she doesn't kidnap me or cut off my skin to use it as a tropical carpet.  
We make our way back to my hotel and accidentally interrupt Mei and Kei whilst they are playing 'who can reach the furthest down the other's throat with their tongue'.  
Aoi and I hold back chuckles and drag the lovers around the village. The girl shows us the famous restaurants, training areas, administrative buildings and historical areas of Sunagakure.

Sometime on our way back to the hotel, Mei drags behind Aoi and Kei who are discussing the best places in their respective villages to purchase medical plants.  
"Hey, brat, pst." she nudges me.  
"Yep, I'm listening." I nod, wondering what could possibly make this woman want to address me. Maybe I have something on my face that's disturbing her. Maybe I've got a stain on my dress. Oh no, I hope it's not a blood stain-...  
"What do you think of Aoi-chan?" she mutters.  
I shrug, a little taken aback by her question.  
"She is quite nice, in a strange way. She seems a little intimidating, but that might just be because of her phenomenal beauty." I admit.  
Mei gasps and shoves me again. What the piss is her problem?  
"I know right? What's wrong with that girl, is she born of gods or something? She looks like a painting!" she whispers.  
"She does. She is gorgeous. I am secretly jealous. She creeps me out though. She was stalking me." I reply.  
"Stalking? What a weirdo." huffs Mei.

We are interrupted by our arrival at our hotel. Aoi smiles, bows and bids us goodnight and us three outsiders safely lock ourselves up in our shared, large room for the night.

* * *

**Yay, ellipses! I should use them more often! I still don't know why you guys stick around reading this absolute life narration down to the second.  
Sorry for the lateness! I hope you enjoyed! This took me ages to right because I needed to balance humor and deepness without OTTness with the Kazekage.**  
**I am now on holiday, going to England for the first time. Who is going to the Oxford Royale Academy? If you are going during the first session, watch out for me!**  
**Have a nice holiday!**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia**


	45. Bad News In Konoha

**HimekoUchia: Hiya guys! Sorry for the wait, I was lost on the path of life, traveling France, meeting relatives and staring at stars.  
Himeko: *throws rock*  
Ryo: You just spend all your computer time watching anime!  
HimekoUchia: Hey! Free! and Attack on Titan can't not be watched. I would feel out of the loop if I ignored those fandoms calling.  
Yuuki: And what wonderful anime they are...  
Himeko: Now, onto the chapter. Our lord and creator HimekoUchia doesn't own anything, except for us.  
HimekoUchia: Correct. Now, go be my sims, minions.**

* * *

_Last Chapter:_

_Sometime on our way back to the hotel, Mei drags behind Aoi and Kei who are discussing the best places in their respective villages to purchase medical plants.  
"Hey, brat, pst." she nudges me.  
"Yep, I'm listening." I nod, wondering what could possibly make this woman want to address me. Maybe I have something on my face that's disturbing her. Maybe I've got a stain on my dress. Oh no, I hope it's not a blood stain-...  
"What do you think of Aoi-chan?" she mutters.  
I shrug, a little taken aback by her question.  
"She is quite nice, in a strange way. She seems a little intimidating, but that might just be because of her phenomenal beauty." I admit.  
Mei gasps and shoves me again. What the piss is her problem?  
"I know right? What's wrong with that girl, is she born of gods or something? She looks like a painting!" she whispers.  
"She does. She is gorgeous. I am secretly jealous. She creeps me out though. She was stalking me." I reply.  
"Stalking? What a weirdo." huffs Mei._

_We are interrupted by our arrival at our hotel. Aoi smiles, bows and bids us goodnight and us three outsiders safely lock ourselves up in our shared, large room for the night._

* * *

The next day, Hirohito is in a good mood.  
"OK brats! I'm going to go get the carriage and stock up on some water for the way back. Meet at the gates in one hour! Kei, go get some medicine. Mei, go get some weapons. And Redhead can stock up on food. We only have empty space this time so a little extra won't hurt. Now scram!" he orders.  
I make a face before making my way to the nearest grocery store. I can't believe that he forgot my name already.

Looking around the shelves, I notice that Sunagakure does not offer a wide range of products, unlike Konoha. Unless said products are cactus based.  
Cactus food. Cactus drinks. Cactus soap. Cactus fiber paper. Man, these people love this plant. How so very weird.  
I buy all of them. Cacti are cool, after all.

I also get a large bag of rice, reminding myself to hide it well so that a raccoon doesn't steal it this time.  
I see the shopkeeper do a little double take when he sees red hair and a love kanji on my forehead. A millisecond later, his face relaxes.  
"Oh. Excuse me, miss, I thought that you were someone else." he sighs.  
I frown.  
"You thought that I was Gaara."

When the name leaves my mouth, the half dozen people in the check out area turn to stare at me with wide eyes. I suddenly feel very small.  
"What? Take a picture, it will last longer." I huff, my cheeks darkening.

"You... You have met Gaara-sama before?" asks the shopkeeper hesitantly, looking over his shoulder.  
I mentally groan. Oh, please no. I don't want to hear about people hating my crush. That is just so awkward and my eternal promise of defending Gaara's honor is kind of stupid since the villagers' fears are pretty much justified now.  
"Yep. He's a very... _special_ guy." I force a smile on my face. "He can be nice."

Everyone around me seems to gag on air. Wow, these people aren't very discreet.  
"Nice? Do you know what that boy-..."  
I cut off the old lady behind me.  
"Yes, I do. I am participating in the chuunin exams with him. I have seen him fight." I lick my lips because they are dry like the rice I am buying. "He... He is pretty ruthless. Suna shinobi seem to carry that trait."

The cashier makes a face as he checks out my last item.  
"Don't put us in the same category as _him_. He likes _blood_." seethes the man. I stare at him with blank fury.  
"Yeah, well, _Gaara_ also likes ice cream, but that doesn't define him either."

There is a moment of thick, hilarious, awkward silence. I gulp and pay.  
Somehow, having six citizens of Suna giving you horrified glares is scaring me. This village is full of people who look terrifying.  
I thank the cashier and turn to leave but a man angrily bars the exit. My heart drops. Please don't tell me that I got myself into a fight twenty minutes before I leave this village.

"Wait here! You are defending the demon! You must also wish death to us villagers then!" snarls the guy. He smells a little of booze. I shake my head.  
"Excuse me, good sir, but making that jump is very far fetched."  
"Why you insolent-..."

A girl jumps in front of the me.  
"Whoah! Leave her alone! She delivered a water ration to our village yesterday! How dare you treat our honored guest this way?" snaps Aoi, crossing her arms.  
Everyone raises their eyebrow and mutters apologies before abruptly going back to their business.

I stare at my savior with surprised eyes.  
"Wow. Perfect timing Aoi-san. Were you stalking me again?" I ask, walking out of the store with the girl right behind me.  
"I was at the other end of the store but when I noticed you I started following you around." she admits. "You seemed so confused."  
I place my bag on the floor and grab her by the shoulders. She gives me an uncomfortable smile.  
"Aoi-san! Tell me the secret of the cactus!" I gasp.

The older teenager blinks.  
"It's moisturizing so it makes good food, drink and hygiene products. Most of the stuff we sell is 100% biodegradable too." she explains, nodding. She wiggles. "Why are you holding me?"  
"Because I can."

"... You are very strange, Himeko-san." says Aoi.  
"And you are very pretty, so we can call it even." I grin, letting her go. The girl smiles back, brushing her hair behind her ear, chewing her lip.  
"Thanks... How can you just say stuff like that to people?" she asks. I chuckle.  
"Oh Aoi-san... You are talking to the girl who told a Hyuga that she had big boobies in public, who felt up Gaara of the Desert during an inappropriate game, slapped him and then asked him if he would cross dress, who nicknamed Kankuro 'Mr. chocolate abs' and ran through the Tower of Death with him screaming 'Perverted Crazies unite', who likes to spend quality naked time with Temari, who hugged all three infamous Suna siblings and lived to tell the tale, who calls the hottest guy in Konoha 'duck's ass', who asked a group of hardcore shinobi boys, including Gaara, if they jacked off, _and_ got a reply, who asked Gaara if he knew what sex was, who told Gaara that he had a nice ass and-..." I stop to break down in laughter. I chuckle for a few more seconds and wipe a tear out of my eye. "Good times."

Aoi and a few villagers who were eavesdropping are staring at me in horror. Some smirk. I shuffle awkwardly.  
"You..." Aoi takes a fearful step back and whispers loud enough only for me to hear. "You like him. You're purposefully making it obvious."  
Her reaction kinda tears my heart apart. I smile sadly.  
"Yeah. You... You kind of hate me now, do you?" I reply.  
The girl's eyes widen.  
"No! I mean, your response shocked me. Everything you say is shocking. And I-... never mind." she dies off suspiciously.  
"So you don't judge me for liking Gaara-kun?" I ask, surprised.  
"No. I neither like him nor hate him. I don't know him but I know what he does. You must know a better side of him than I do." she explains not too loudly.  
"You're very mature." I smile.  
"And you're quite adorable, so we can call it even." smirks Aoi, poking me in the cheek.

I laugh and Aoi helps me carry my shopping to the exit of her village. I say my goodbyes to my new friend and her father before my team and I start our perilous journey back to Konoha.

* * *

We make it back to Konoha three days later, which was faster than our trip to Suna because we didn't have to focus on protecting a huge water tank. Furthermore, we weren't attacked by any enemy shinobi on the way back. How curious.  
Thankfully, this meant that no murder was necessary and we just had to knock out a few petty thieves. No chopping in half. No beheading. No losing my lunch and/or sanity.

The fact that we were attacked so seldom also means something else.  
I means that, at night, being on watch duty was absolutely amazing. We were so far from civilization that there were no lights to intervene with the the starlight. I could lie back and watch the infinite amount of stars in the sky above me. At first, seeing such a clear universe was overwhelming and made me dizzy. Then, when my mind was adjusted to the awe that is the night sky, I could recognize a few constellations and even see the bright band of light which is our galaxy.

I also made a wish every time I saw a shooting star but since there were so many of them, I eventually decided to just wish happiness on every person I could think of.  
And for Gaara not to kill me anytime soon.

* * *

All four of us are buzzing in excitement as we approach the village gates. It has been eight days since we have seen Konoha. Kei turns to smile at me.  
"Himeko-chan! Stay prudent and don't hurt yourself. In a few weeks you have your chuunin exams!" he reminds me. I nod, gulping down the fear at the thought of being tossed into the arena again.

Hirohito offers to go file the mission report so that us 'young little brats can run off to play with our friends if we have any'. Mei and Kei immediately run off. I presume that they desperately need to procreate after their week long abstinence since the rooms in Suna were segregated by gender.  
The first thing I do is contact my family.

_I'm back!_ I shout in my head.  
I wait for a few seconds. I hear a little static and Yuuki's voice pops into my head.  
_Hime-chan! Hey! Ryo-kun and I are having lunch with Naruto-kun at Ichiraku's! Come join us!_

I quickly run to the shop. The only person that I recognize on my way there is a busy looking Anko.  
I spot my teammates and a famous blond sitting at the ramen stall. They smile and wave at me. I lump of tears suddenly makes its way up my neck and burns the back of my nose.  
Urg, no, don't cry. Even if you just realized how much you missed them all.

Yuuki jumps up and hugs me.  
"Oh my goodness... I'm so happy to see you!" she laughs, rocking me side to side.  
Ryo adds himself to the hug.  
"How was it? How was Suna?" he asks.  
Naruto finishes his seventh bowl of ramen in two seconds to join our human sandwich.  
"Himeko-chan! You didn't die!" he grins.

I chuckle and wipe away a tear.  
"I'm fine... My teammate was a medic so I was safe. Suna was so... different from Konoha. The people are polite but not as friendly. Except for this one weird girl who sort of stalked me twice then saved my butt. She was cool. And insanely hot! My goodness, all the people from that village are gorgeous. Talking about that..." I take another breath. "I met Gaara, Kankuro and Temari's fa-... boss."  
My teammates' eyes widen in understanding but Naruto just looks confused.  
"The Kazekage?" he asks.  
"Yup. He was... quite a jackass. However... he was really... ok. I was... shocked. I didn't exactly make a good first impression though..." I internally groan at the memory of telling the Kazekage that I was going to be his daughter in law. "I will tell you when it stops haunting me in embarrassment."

I eat lunch with my friends, telling them about my trip to Suna and hearing about their training, which is going well for all of them so far. Well, Naruto is still having difficulties with chakra control, but we assure him that he will get better.  
"So, other than that, what did I miss?" I grin.  
Ryo and Yuuki exchange a sad look and Naruto shrugs.  
"Ryo-kun? Yuu-chan? What happened?" I question nervously. Please don't tell me that someone died...  
"You need to watch your back, Hime-chan. It's Neji-san..." sighs Ryo. "He's been kinda pissed since this morning. He thinks that you said something to Tenten-san that made her-..." He trails off.

My heart drops.  
"What did she do?" I gasp. Naruto realizes that he missed the news too and leans in.  
Yuuki finishes Ryo's thought.  
"Tenten-san dumped Neji-kun's ass big time."

* * *

Once lunch was paid for, I separate from my friends to go unpack whilst they carry on their training session. I have the rest of the day off before having to get back to preparing myself for the exams.

I then go on a search for Neji Hyuga to make sure that he is OK.  
"TANAKA-SAN!"  
Well, that was fast.

I spin around to face a livid boy who is obviously suppressing his emotions. He nods off to the side of the road and I follow him.  
"So... Why the hate?" I sigh, crossing my arms.  
"You. Tenten said that you told her about my match against Hinata-sama and she broke up with me." he replies calmly though I can hear the murder in his voice. A light bulb ticks on.  
"Oh, that. Well, yeah. You kind of ditched her so I filled in as news reporter." I explain.  
"I was busy! Why did she dump me? You must have told her something... bad." he grinds out from in between his teeth, his lavender eyes burning into my soul, making it shrivel up like fried squid. Just a little.

"No, Neji-kun. You don't get it. I didn't bad mouth you. At least, I don't think I did." I scratch the back of my neck. "I don't... Ah. Wait. I know Tenten enough to explain this. You see, girls judge their boyfriends by how they treat their female relatives. If you treat Hinata-chan like crap, Tenten-san can see you treating her like that in the future too. Besides, you haven't exactly been consistent on your attitude towards her. Or anyone, really."  
The Hyuga looks taken aback by my response. Then he looks angry again.  
"Is that so. Fine." he slightly clenches his fists. "It's over, then. It's really over."

I suddenly notice that Neji's eyes are just a tiny bit more watery than usual. My heart stings.  
"Neji-kun... If it's meant to be... If it's _destiny_... It will happen, right? You could always patch things up with her-..."  
"Forget it. I have other things to worry about." huffs the boy, turning on his heels and going who-knows-where.  
I sigh. Well, judging by how NejiTen came together, they had to have at least one fall out.  
"He didn't change much after all. He still has a cactus up his lower colon." I roll my eyes. "I'm sure that Neji-kun and Tenten-san will be back together by the end of the month."

* * *

I greet Team Ino-Shika-Cho-Asuma, who are coaching Shikmaru to make sure that he doesn't fail his match. I also meet Sakura, who wishes me good luck for my training and asks me about my mission to Suna. I tell her about the weather, of course.

Eventually, I find Tenten wondering around a park. The way she is walking makes it clear that she is still suffering from the injuries Temari gave her. She rubs her back every few seconds and is covered in fading scratches.  
"Tenten-san!" I call out, running to join her. She smiles when she sees me.  
"Oh... Himeko-chan. You're back. How was the mission?"  
"Great! The water arrived safely and the entire population of Suna is amazingly attractive (minus the babies, infants, children and elderly, of course). But hey... Tenten-san... I just spoke with your ex. What's up?"

She shakes her head.  
"You should know. He can be a jerky boyfriend. He is terrible to Hinata-sama. Besides, he needs to focus on his training, so having me primarily as a teammate instead of a girlfriend should do both of us some good. He's a grown boy, he can handle a break up." she sighs. "I just can't be with a guy who is so arrogant and unpleasant."  
"But... Don't you love him?" I gasp.  
"Of course I do." replies Tenten.  
"Then... Then why? You always seem to get along so well." I frown.  
Tenten shakes her head.  
"Himeko-chan... Did you really see how we acted? Or did you just find us so cute together that you completely ignored the reality? Sure, we are majorly attracted to each other and he was adorable when he asked me out... And we both get pretty distracted when we are making out but... I feel as if I fell in love with a guy that doesn't exist... I don't like guys who fake love. That romantic guy... That just isn't Neji-kun."

I think back to the Hyuga's face when we were talking earlier.  
"He really does love you, Tenten-san." I whisper.  
"Doesn't feel like it. Honestly, it just felt like the love confession was a last ditch effort to not lose my friendship. And to get someone to make out with. I mean, he doesn't have any friends apart from Lee and I... And he even treats Lee like crap..."  
"So... You can't keep on dating him even if you still have feelings for him?"

The girl suddenly grabs both sides of my face. Oh my god... This is weird. It's like she's gonna kiss me. Wow, I would totally kiss Tenten.  
"No, Himeko-chan." Well, OK then. "You can't put aside your ideals and moral integrity for someone else. Being with the person you love shouldn't make you give up everything you stand for. If there is behavior that you can't accept, then you don't have to put up with it. It's that simple."  
There is a moment of silence.  
"... I have a gut feeling that you're not only talking about Neji-kun here." I mumble.  
"Yes. It's painfully obvious that you like Gaara-san, though he seems to be the only one who can't figure it out." smiles Tenten.  
"Or maybe he does know... and just doesn't show it. He might just not care. He might not even like me as a human being." I whisper, suddenly quite sad. "I don't know."

The girl gives me a serious but sympathetic look.  
"Himeko-chan... would that be so bad?" she asks.  
At first, the question seems stupid. Then, I actually think about it and reply. I smile.  
"No. It would be heartbreaking, but I would still be alive (unless he kills me). Life goes on. I would like to at least get his friendship. I do value that. Just go with the flow and not lose myself, right?"  
Tenten grins as in 'I have taught you well, my maturing grasshopper'.  
"That is a perfect answer, Himeko-chan."

* * *

I go grocery shopping so that my friends and I can make a home cooked meal. Call me spoiled, but after a week of eating rice, cactus and dead squirrels I just really want something more delicate and savory. Ryo and Yuuki are awesome cooks. I'm still work in progress.

I realize that I still have time before my friends get back since the training grounds are booked until late afternoon. I decide to wonder around the village to see who I can find.  
Oh, who am I kidding. I'm going to go stalk Gaara. I missed his creepiness the entire time that I was away.

So, where could Gaara be? He isn't on the training grounds, otherwise Yuuki would have told me. He isn't in the hotel, other wise my Gaara-dar would have told me. He must either be somewhere around the village or in the forest...

I spot red hair and angry eyes.  
… Or he might just be standing on that bridge glaring at me. Perfect timing. Not a very warm welcome.  
I skip over to him. He shoots daggers at me the entire way there. I stop about a meter away from him, my heart beating. Ah, he's just as perfect as I remember. And still as temperamental.  
I then remember what happened the last time I saw him. We got into a slight argument about my fighting, I sassed him out and then took a mission. Ah. Tension.

"Gaara-kun! Long time no see!" I smile. He doesn't move an eyelid. I suddenly feel irritated. "I seriously don't remember doing anything to deserve this bad of a look."  
The boy blinks and relaxes his face only a little.  
"You went to Sunagakure." he snaps, crossing his arms. I frown.  
"How did you know? Did my friends actually tell you?" I ask. I highly doubt Yuuki or Ryo would actually willingly speak to Gaara without me around.  
There is a few seconds of silence before he answers.  
"I asked them."

I raise my eyebrows, though, inside, a rainbow rocket just took off.  
"Really? Well, I did go to Sunagakure. Man, you people love cacti. And you're all really hot." I grin, trying to lighten this absolutely abysmal mood.  
It doesn't work.  
"You met the Kazekage?" continues questioning Gaara. Oh. I see where this is going.  
"Yes, I met your father." I reply slowly, not wanting to remind Gaara of bad memories.  
His eyes darkly flash towards me. Oops.  
"How did you know?" he hisses.  
"Similar features with you and your siblings. Psychic abilities." I explain.

Gaara frowns, then abruptly changes subject.  
"You met people in Suna." he states.  
"Yes I did. I'm sorry to say but I have traumatized a few of them." I nod. "It's crazy how many people know who you are by name."  
If it's possible, an even darker cloud appears over Gaara's head.  
"They spoke to you about me."

"Yes. Nothing they said surprised me, really." I smile sadly, looking into Gaara's sea-green eyes.  
"It doesn't shock you that I am such a monster to them?" questions Gaara. I turn my vision to a leaf floating down the river, under the bridge...  
"I was expecting it. It was awkward to listen to them say things and I've probably made a few enemies by talking back. But I..." I gulped. This is the most horrifyingly honest thing that I have ever told Gaara. "I've stopped _hating_ people who hate you."

Gaara suddenly gives me a _look_. It's not angry. Or bloodthirsty. It's just _shocked_.  
"You hate me?" he says slowly.  
"Of course not!" I growl, slapping the handrail. What a stubborn guy. "I've told you this a million times! I don't hate you! I defended you! But I can no longer irrationally detest people I don't even know. Because... Because I know how horribly cruel you can be. You fight inhumanely. You do terrible things." I turn to look at him in the eye so that he can understand the difference between blind love and the love of a girl who had seen many terrifying things in the last month or so of her life. "But just because you do bad things doesn't mean that you are a bad person. You have had it real hard in your life and that has made you the way you are."

The boy puts a hand onto the bridge's handrail.  
"You sound different." he remarks.  
"Stuff happens when you are forced into real life fights." I suddenly remember something. "Ooh! Ooh! Wait!" I clap and point at Gaara, grinning. For a split second, he seems relieved. "I met this super weird girl who told me that she doesn't hate you or judge you! See?"  
"She might have just said that because you don't hate me and she didn't want you to hate her." suggests Gaara darkly.  
I scratch my head, confused at this redhead's train of thought.  
"No. That's just paranoid. Why would she bother anyways? Why would people care if I hated them?"

Gaara looks about ready to respond, but then stops. Why? Why do people do that? I really wanted to hear his answer! It had the potential to be quite nice. This guy is lucky that he's adorable and that I really missed him or I would have bit his hair off already. This is the first serious conversation we've had in quite some time.  
"So..." I change the subject because the silence was killing me. "You were expecting me. How did you know that I was back? Don't tell me you were stalking me."  
"You were with the girl Temari fought. In the park." answers the boy.  
"Oh, you were there?" I am suddenly stabbed with horror when I remember the conversation I had with the girl. "You didn't hear us, did you?"

Please don't tell me that he heard us. Tenten said that it was obvious that I liked Gaara. And I said that I thought that Gaara didn't like me back. I chew my lip and stare at Gaara until he answers.  
The boy frowns slightly and lets go of the handrail. He turns to walk down the other side of the bridge for dramatic effect.  
"No."

I watch the redhead teleport into the wind. I sigh and stare at a flower floating on the river.  
"Dear flower-chan... Could you please tell me what the heck just happened? Seriously, Gaara-kun is acting so weird lately. He tries to keep cool but it's so obvious that he is over-thinking stuff. And my friends say I PMS badly."

* * *

Bored out of my mind and still suffering from the inner turmoil chatting with Gaara gave me, I decide to go visit Sasuke and Lee in the hospital, if they are still there.  
I stop by the Yamanaka flower shop.

"Welcome! Feel free to browse or ask for my assistance when choosing flowers!" smiles Ino's dad, whom I have never met. Wow, he looks like a muscly version of his daughter. His hair is so long. Isn't that really impractical?  
"Hi! What do you suggest I get sick friends in the hospital?" I smile.

The man goes around the counter and invites me to follow him through his sweet smelling store.  
"Anything more specific? Strength? Get well soon?" asks the man.  
"Hm... I would like to compliment their characters. So strength for the first guy and...dedication for the second guy."  
"I know just the flowers you need!" grins the blond.

He picks up a stem with many pretty pink flowers on it.  
"Snapdragon. Symbolizes graciousness and strength. Some also called it the flower of deception, but I like to keep things optimistic!"  
"Perfect!" I almost laugh out loud at the sheer brilliance of this. This one is for Sasuke.  
"Sunflowers." Inoichi picks up the yellow flower. "Dedication, especially in love. Pure thoughts. Is this what you are looking for?"  
I nod. Rock Lee, you are a sunflower. Wow, that sounds cheesy.

The man makes two bouquets for me. I pay, thank him and make my way to the hospital. I buy two small bags of healthy but delicious snacks.

Upon arrival, the nurses let me know that Lee might be asleep but that Sasuke probably isn't because he is a stubborn bitch.  
I visit Lee first and find him about to drift off into dreamland. He is still heavily bandaged and I can't help a slight tinge of guilt when looking at him. Gaara did this.  
"Himeko-chan?" he mumbles, eyes blinking shut. I grin and place the flowers in a vase besides his bed.  
"Shhh... I'm sorry for waking you. Go to sleep. I'm just giving you flowers, OK?" I whisper.

Rock Lee mumbles incomprehensibly and smiles. Oh wow, he's adorable sometimes! I giggle a little.  
"Bye.. Get well soon, Lee." I quickly give him a peck on the forehead, hoping that no one is secretly spying on me or something. I leave his food on the table before slipping out of his room to go see Sasuke.

* * *

**So there's Gaara for those who missed him! And a few conversations with characters to make my ****character develop!  
Sorry for NejiTen fans XD. Don't cry yet because, hey, relationships are rocky! Who knows what might happen later *creepy eyebrow quirk*  
Well, enjoy your summer guys (or winter, depending on your hemisphere)!  
XOXO ~~ HimekoUchia (so. Much. Food. Yay. Omg. Tree climbing. Yahoo. My arms. In pain)**


	46. A Stupid Plan

**Yuuki: We're going back... back! Back to school again…  
HimekoUchia: Yeah, Grease is not the way it goes. Nobody likes going back to school. Besides, it's almost Halloween...  
Ryo: Hello guys! The authoress has been attending the peculiar activity of getting more educated. Please excuse lateness.  
HimekoUchia: I had a complete writer's block until last week when I had a sudden epiphany and wrote this all out.  
Himeko: She doesn't own anything except for us! We are her sims. Help.**

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_Upon arrival, the nurses let me know that Lee might be asleep but that Sasuke probably isn't because he is a stubborn bitch.  
I visit Lee first and find him about to drift off into dreamland. He is still heavily bandaged and I can't help a slight tinge of guilt when looking at him. Gaara did this.  
"Himeko-chan?" he mumbles, eyes blinking shut. I grin and place the flowers in a vase besides his bed.  
"Shhh... I'm sorry for waking you. Go to sleep. I'm just giving you flowers, OK?" I whisper._

_Rock Lee mumbles incomprehensibly and smiles. Oh wow, he's adorable sometimes! I giggle a little.  
"Bye.. Get well soon, Lee." I quickly give him a peck on the forehead, hoping that no one is secretly spying on me or something. I leave his food on the table before slipping out of his room to go see Sasuke._

* * *

I knock on his door to make sure that I'm not interrupting his guy time or something.  
"Come in." answers the boy's pretty voice.

I slip into the room, grinning when Sasuke gives me a 'oh no not her again look'.  
"I have returned, my pretty little pancake!" I skip over to his bedside, placing my flowers into the small vase provided.  
"What are those?"he asks suspiciously.  
"Hm, so mean! These are snapdragons! I got them at the Yamanaka store for you!" I laugh, feeling a little hyper now that I am seeing his surprised face.  
"You... For me?" he questions, astounded. "Thank you."  
"Hey, no problem my little duckling." I smile, patting the side of his face. He fails to swipe my hand away in time.  
"Stop with the nicknames." he sighs, obviously exasperated by my awful girlfriend satire.  
"In your dreams, my sweet plum candy."

He decides that arguing with me is a waste of time and just rolls his eyes. I grin and hand him his food.  
"I smuggled this in. It isn't tomatoes but it's for you."  
Sasuke huffs and takes the food.  
"Thank you." he says.  
"Would you like me to occasionally bring snacks for you?" I suggest.  
"I would." he replies.

I am a little taken aback by the response.  
"You are pretty much inviting me back, Sasuke-kun! And here I thought that you didn't miss me! I was mistaken, my Sassy-uke." I chuckle to cover up my surprise.  
"As long as you keep bringing food I will put up with your sarcasm." he huffs.  
I cross my legs and put my elbow on my knee, then prop my head up on my arm. I really do like Sasuke. What nice guy deep inside. For now.

"I heard that you left on a mission to Sunagakure." announces the boy.  
"Ah yes. I came back earlier today. It's a nice village. Nice people. Beautiful people. Nasty weather." I smile.  
"That's where that Gaara guy is from." adds the Uchiha. I nod.  
"Yep. Gaara of the Sand is from the Sand Village. Thank you genius." I snort.

Sasuke looks a little pissed but then remembers that it's me talking.  
"Since we are talking about him... Do you remember the first time you visited me at the hospital? You didn't notice, but there was this... eye of sand behind you. It was observing us the whole time. I saw it but didn't point it out since I knew that it had to be Gaara."  
I think back. And my jaw drops.  
"Oh my goodness. That explains his angry reaction when I met him outside the hospital. Why was he spying anyways? Oh wait, right, he's up against you in the next round. Why didn't you tell me? He was obviously getting the wrong image." I sigh.

Suddenly, Sasuke gives me a smirk. A nasty Uchiha smirk.  
"I knew that he was watching you too. I just wanted to wind him up a little." he answers. I glare and pinch him.  
"You nasty little hobgoblin." I mutter. "Quit picking on Gaara-kun. His feelings are sensitive and unstable."

The boy is starting to enjoy himself judging by the look he is giving me. Full of knowing.  
"You still have that ridiculous crush on him? Are you still fangirling him? It isn't attractive, you know." he advises oh so nicely. I send him a death glare to match my happy smile.  
"Nah, don't worry. I grew out of it already. Besides, Gaara-kun is too friggin' scary to fangirl. You can say that I now show my affection in a more realistic and mature way." The jokey side of the conversation flips in my head and I remember Tenten's rant. "I do like him a lot. However, my only goal in life isn't to be with him. I mean, what if he doesn't even like me? There are things I want to do. A life I've got to live, ya know. With or without a guy I only just met a few weeks ago. For example... I would like to become a good shinobi. Just like you."  
I give him a little grin and poke his nose.  
"Boop."

Sasuke's eyes widen in surprise and his cheeks get slightly redder at my childish action.  
"This is one of the first times that you say something genuinely nice to me." he hums.  
"Ahahah I'm sorry. It's just that... You are the only serious guy I can tease without fear of my life. I've made fun of Neji and Gaara and you can feel the murderous intent seeping from their pores. It's amazing. But you... You are a jerk yet you are quite a nice jerk deep down. Despite the chicken you kidnapped and tied to your head."

Sasuke gives me a withering look of 'here we go again'. I keep up the random conversations up til the moment when the boy glares at me so intensely that I take this as my cue to escape.  
I exit the room, chuckling. Goodness, I do adore Sasuke. I really do. I feel bad for judging him so much when I first arrived.  
I suddenly remember another ill judgment that I am guilty of. Sighing, I make my way back to my room to get started on my project. I stay up until the early hours of the morning to finish, but am satisfied with the results.

* * *

The next day, I go training with my friends. I learn that all three of us have slightly improved in sharpness of technique and reaction speed. Still nothing cool enough to overthrow a strong shinobi, but in terms of survival we aren't doing too badly.  
We eat lunch with Sakura who is a little sad about being the only one on her team to not be training for the next exam. We cheer her up and treat her to BBQ.

After our time in the training grounds are over, I separate from my friends, needing to do something.  
I make my way to the Yamanaka compound and ring the doorbell. Ino opens and stares down at me in surprise.  
"Himeko-san! Hey! How are you holding up? Is there something I can do for you?" she smiles, waving at me to enter her house. I slowly step into her home.  
"I'm alive and kicking. I came to... well, this is for you." I hand her a package. She takes it hesitantly.  
"Um... What is this?" she laughs. "It's not my birthday."  
I can tell that she is suspecting me of gifting her a bomb or rabid racoon or something.

"Well, I did promise to make you a dress, remember?" I announce. This makes her tear up the packaging in about two seconds. "I designed something summery, casual and that would look great on you. It's not too tight or anything so my guesses at your size should not be too far off."  
Ino unfolds the garment and gasps when she presses the flowy, light purple cotton dress to her body.  
"It's so pretty! And I like the patterns too!" she caresses the pale pink lines that draw the outlines of oriental style flowers. "Is this really for me?"  
"Yep! I keep my word! And I do really like you, so I just hope that you can forgive me for sort of being a bitch to you..." I admit, happy that she likes the dress. I pricked my pinky finger to get it right. I love my poor pinky.

"Oh, Himeko-san, it's nothing. I pissed you off on purpose." chuckles the blond, guiltily stroking the back of her neck. I suddenly remember her blatantly flirting with Gaara in front of me. Her confessions are making more sense. "Thanks for the dress, though. It's a surprise, but a really nice one."  
"Glad you like it! You will look gorgeous in it. You might even get Sasuke-kun to fall for you." I grin. Well, that's highly unlikely but the comment makes her blush.  
"Really think so?"  
"Maybe. Maybe." I hum. I doubt Sasuke will even like one of his current fangirls though. He seems too occupied with the men of his life to do so. "I should go now. Gotta help my friends make dinner."  
"Bye! Thanks and good luck for your training!"smiles Ino.  
I wave and leave, feeling a little lighter now that the question of Ino possibly hating me for my unfair judgment is cleared up.

_Oh, Himeko. You're so weird._  
I blink in surprise when I hear the little voice in my head act up. It seems to randomly pop back in to say hello from time to time.  
I'm not that weird.  
_You are very weird._  
Ok, maybe I am.  
_I'm hungry._  
Yes I am. Let's go back.

* * *

"Hm... Smells nice. What are you guys making?" I grin, taking off my shoes and entering the hotel room that I share with my cousin. Ryo and Yuuki look up from what they were doing.  
"Potato and tomato salad with mackerel on the side. Sucks that we don't have a stove anymore to make chocolate or warm foods." sighs the guy on my team.  
"We could always ask the hotel chefs to lend us a corner of their kitchen." I suggest, setting the small table.  
"I highly doubt they will. We don't exactly inspire absolute confidence to adults." snorts Yuuki. "We'll just have to eat in the restaurant and save the fridge for snacks and fruit."

The thing about being French is that, even in the ninja world, we are always very intense about food. Spending a week in the forest of doom and the tower of doom only made us appreciate the variety of available cuisine even more.  
This craving for awesome meals makes me realize something.

"Guys... We have to move out someday. We can't live in a hotel forever. Granted, this one is of insanely good value but it's no place to shack up for good." I point out. "Once the Chuunin exams pass, we have to figure something out and maybe rent an apartment."  
"If they let us stay." huffs Yuuki. "Or if they don't kill us. Who knows."

Our conversing continues on a more light hearted note, with a few training ideas and some teasing going around. Afterward, we clear up the dishes and take a long stroll through the village.

* * *

Training. Lunch. Training. Dinner.  
This routine continues for a few days. It only takes that long for me to realize that Gaara is obviously avoiding contact with me. What a moody person.  
I guess that my honesty must have shocked him quite a bit. But seriously, I didn't say anything life changing. Gaara needs to chill and try communicating instead of glaring and teleporting every time he runs into someone from my team.

Thankfully, the other Sand siblings are far less uptight than that lovable redhead. We even manage to drag them to lunch with us on day fourteen since the end of the preliminary rounds. During the meal, we chatter and taunt each other. All teasing is lighthearted though, since neither of my team members are up against anyone from Suna in the first round.  
We I ask about Gaara, I am mostly met with sighs of 'He is in one of his moods again'. I presume that it means that the redhead has reverted to cruelly glaring at inanimate objects. How mean.

I feel kind of bad for Temari and Kankuro. Because of their brother's crap attitude, they are forced to treat their lives as a mine field, always having to be careful and to know which conversation topics to side step. Apparently, things have gotten less tense between them but Gaara was still a temperamental little brat, so they still had to be on guard.  
It must be exhausting to live with a guy like that. I gladly put up with him because I am dead in love with him and because I don't actually have to be related to him.

I sigh. Temari and Kankuro are truly brave, patient people. It's getting harder and harder to pretend that Gaara is a perfectly nice person.

* * *

The next day, we somehow convince the hotel chefs to lend us the kitchen. It takes a little flirting from Yuuki and mentioning that we were French before they seemed relaxed though.  
"So, what do we make?" asks Ryo, rubbing his hands together.  
I laugh.  
"It's the 23rd of July. We're making cake."

* * *

A few hours later, the three of us are crouched behind a boulder after I had located our target, shamelessly spying on Sasuke and Kakashi.  
Not surprisingly, it takes about 1.4 seconds for the jonin to notice us.  
"Wow, Sasuke-kun. So many people follow you around. You really are popular." eye-smiles Kakashi, motioning for us to reveal ourselves.

Sasuke seems a little shocked and horrified when our faces come into view. Kakashi seems amused.  
"What are you three doing here?" questions the Uchiha, frowning suspiciously.  
My friends and I grin and glomp him. He looks about ready to tip a cow.

"Happy birthday Sasuke-kun!" we chant, shoving a cake into his confused arms.  
"My birth-... Oh. Yeah. It is." deadpans the boy. Aw, he forgot his birthday.  
"Don't worry! We can throw you an improve party if you want! Unfortunately, all the strippers were fully booked today so we could bribe Gai-sensei to give you a little show-..."  
"No." Sasuke cuts off Yuuki with a look in his eyes that translates to 'I will need to kick so many sea urchins with my bare feet to get this image out of my head'.

"..." Yuuki and I exchange a look. "Or if you prefer we could-..."  
"No."  
"Or we can bribe Naruto-kun with ramen to take off his-..."  
"No."

I believe that poor Sasuke is on the verge of strangling a chicken, smashing it across a tree before sitting the carcass on his head as his daily hairstyle.  
"Ok, ok, we're just kidding. We just came to wish you a happy birthday and we hope that you like cake." I smile, pointing to the box he is holding.

He looks at the foreign object as if it were a porn novel.  
"This is poisonous, isn't it?" sighs the Uchiha.  
"No."  
"Laxatives?"  
"No."  
"Drugged?"

"..."  
"No."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitches and he turns to Kakashi for advice. The man just eyes the cake.  
"Well, Sasuke-kun, it is rude to refuse a gift. If it is too much for you were can share. I'm quite hungry." chuckles the jonin.  
The Uchiha groans a little and gives up.  
"Fine. I accept the cake. Thank you for your wishes and thoughts. You may now take the easy way off this cliff." the boy gestures to the sheer edge of the mountain.

"See yah Sasuke-kun!" laughs Ryo, before we proceed to take the fast way back to the village.  
Which is not jumping off the edge (ow). We teleport.

* * *

The sun is setting. Back in Konoha.

A pink haired girl runs to us, eyes wide in panic.  
"Hey! Team French!" she shouts. Oh, I like that name. "What did you do to them?"  
My friends and I plaster innocent smiles on our faces.  
"What? To whom?"

She arrives and bends over, drawing ragged breaths. She straitens up with a pained huff.  
"Urg, sorry. Ino-pig really did a number on me. But yeah..." Sakura grabs the front of my shirt and pulls my face up to hers. "I'm sure that it's your fault. What. Did. You. do. to. Sasuke-kun! And Kakashi-sensei."

"Why? Did something happen?" I ask, cocking my head to the side. Sakura's aggressive stance falters.  
"Go see for yourself." she mutters, motioning to my team to follow her through an alleyway that leads up to the mountain path. Two pairs of wide eyes glare at us.

My team shivers a little. Wow, Kakashi and Sasuke don't look happy.  
The jonin cuts to the chase.  
"It is a severe offense to drug shinobi, you three." deadpans the man, still twitching a little.  
"But it made me likesuperenergeticlikeNaruto and I managed to train well what was it?" breaths Sasuke.  
"We used the same secret ingredients that we use in our infamous chocolate. Which is to say... an entire box of C vitamins. We ran out of sugar and we needed the sweet taste so yeah. We made sure they were harmless. Just gave you a real sunshine." I grin sheepishly. "I hope that it wasn't too bad. We didn't mean for it to affect your training."  
"Well..." Kakashi sighs, his eye twitching. "It woke us up. And the cake was great. So we won't be filing a complaint."  
"Ifyoumakeusmorecake it's delicious." gasped Sasuke, before passing out, face-planting into the ground.

Kakashi, Ryo, Yuuki, Sakura and I eye the boy in silence.  
"We're really sorry if this is our fault." whispers Ryo.  
"Maybe. But he is also exhausted from his training. I'll take him back to the hospital." answers Kakashi, his twitching having almost worn off after a few hours.

The jonin leaves with his student in his arms bridal style. My team is left with Sakura.  
She gives me a blank look which, quite frankly, is making me nervous. What if she suddenly starts shouting and punching me until I am flat? I'm way more attractive in 3D...

Surprisingly, the girl lets out a chuckle. She looks guiltily at us.  
"I'm so worried for Sasuke-kun..." she mutters, then suddenly bursts out laughing. "But he looked like a hyperactive quacking duck and my god, when he fell to the ground, he bounced once and..."  
The girl dies off, wiping tears out of her eyes. My friends and I are also laughing.  
"Poor Sasuke-kun... So tired and hardworking but we laugh at him." smiles Yuuki.  
"Yeah. I'll go bring him flowers tomorrow." sighs Sakura, rubbing her neck. "A little extra birthday gift from me, I guess."

At that, we part ways and make our way back to our hotel room for dinner. In the hotel restaurant, we see Team Baki in it's entirety. Upon our entry, Gaara looks up to glare at me. I wiggle my eyebrows in response.  
He looks about ready to passive aggressively throw his chair at me but he goes back to listening to his sensei, who is probably giving an important speech about following orders or killing people.

My team settles down at an empty table far from other people and orders a delicious Japanese dinner.  
"So, what's the official plan for the chuunin exams?" asks Yuuki. "You two have been training for battle, but you haven't decided to actually enter a death battle did you?"  
"Nah of course not. If only one of us had won the first round, we would have had to pull strings to end up against Dosu. Since that guy was probably gonna die, that person would have ended up fighting Temari in the semi-finals." explains Ryo, quietly.  
"So since we both won, we made sure to up against each other so that we more room to make decisions. We aren't going to fight to the death. We don't have the level to make chuunin yet. We know that these exams are... just a warm up for one horrid main event. We all trained to survive that and this world, not only for these exams." I add, borderline whispering.  
"So one of you is going to drop out." Yuuki nods in understanding. "When?"  
"Well, I'll probably do it. Since I am more prone to injuring myself, it would make more sense if I pleaded incapable of fighting because of another wound. I'll probably do it soon, to avoid global humiliation of giving up in front of a huge crowd." I smile.

We melt into a casual conversation when a waitress approaches with drinks. Quickly scanning thoughts around the restaurant, I confirm that we had not been overheard.  
The lady hands us our warm tea.  
"Anything else before we bring you your meal?" she asks in a friendly robotic way.  
"We're fine, thank you." smiles Yuuki.

"So I'll end up against the winner of the Temari vs. Shikamaru match. I'll be safe from having to protect my life from an important ninja or simply randomly giving up. We're organized now. Feels good." huffs Ryo, sipping his tea but making a face when he burns himself.

We all chuckle and blow on our hot drinks.

After our meal is over, we retire to bed, not running into the Sand Sibs on our way there.

* * *

A week passes with not many memorable conversations. Everybody was busy preparing for the chuunin exams so the one time I actually ran into Gaara and started up a conversation, it lasted about 3 seconds before he had to go wreck trees. He didn't look to enthusiastic about speaking to me either. That butt-hurt little redhead. I guess that it is my fault for being extremely honest with a renown murderer and mentally unstable teen.

I eventually drag Ryo's ass outside whilst Yuuki is busy one day and ask him to kick me real hard in my leg. He gives me a confused look but does so gladly and, a second later, I roll on the floor in agony, having slightly ripped my well healed but still sensitive wound from the preliminary rounds.  
Ryo watches on guiltily as I poke my painful leg as to get a nice bruise.  
"I can now convincingly ask the Hokage to let me drop out because my wounds re-opened." I grin through gritted teeth.  
My friend sighs.  
"If I knew that you were going to do something so purely masochistic I would rather you just let me drop out instead. I wouldn't have hurt myself because I am not so sick like you."

"Well I didn't turn my leg horrifyingly black for nothing. Get me to the hotel stat, I've gotta sit on something soft." I groan. Ryo drags be along by the waist through Konoha. We do get a few confused looks but we ignore them. I personally am quite proud of my plan. Though if I had slept more that four hours yesterday I could have probably come up with a better one.  
Darn that noisy voice and the confusing dreams and the consuming of lots of miso soup before bed. That was just not very wise of me to drink so much liquid before bed.  
Ahem.

"Actually, the more I think about it, the dumber this situation looks." I chuckle. "I literally asked you to kick me until I bled internally."  
"You are obviously either exhausted or your brain has officially expired." laughs Ryo back.  
"You still kicked me though." I point out.  
"I didn't ask questions because I trusted that you had a good excuse for wanting me to do that. And you did, I guess. I had a feeling that you might end up doing something like this since I know the way your mind works so well, but when I pictured the scene... Me dragging your bruised ass across a village so that you could act all in pain to escape a fight really didn't come into mind." sighs the boy.  
"We it does hurt! Kinda like having a honey badger chew through your thigh from the inside out." I explain.  
"Gross. Sorry. Please don't make me to this again." moans Ryo.  
"But you're the only one who would actually listen to me and do this without killing me! Yuuki can't wound me out of fear of seeing me bleed. You are my..." I trail off, looking for the right word.  
"Trusty best friend whom you trust?" smiles Ryo.  
"Well, I was going to say blood minion, but that's a nice thought too." I wrap my arm tighter around my friend.

He groans and knocks his head against mine.  
"You can be a real idiot sometimes, you know?" he hums.  
"You're the only one who can escape me alive after saying that I'm an idiot, you know?" I smile.  
"I noticed. You basically chew off people's heads like a savage gerbil if anyone criticizes you. You seem to just take it from me. Not even from Yuuki-chan."  
"Yeah that's because she's family. I take every excuse to argue with family. I sometimes let it slide if you say mean stuff because... Well, I need one person who is honest with me. So I choose you." I blink. "Pikachu."  
Ryo groans again and helps me limp up the step of to the hotel. Yuuki isn't back yet and, since my leg is turning about fifty shades of black and blue and red, I think that it's for the best.

Ryo gets me an icepack for the bruise and tapes it around my leg. We both start to heal me up.  
"This is so stupid." he mutters.  
"Our healing removes pain and fused damaged back together, but it leaves all marks so I will still have the bruise to spot. This is genius." I grin.  
"Whatever you say." huffs my friend. "Where did Yuuki-chan go already?"  
"She mentioned wanting to go buy more laundry detergent. Our clothes are always gross after training." I remember.  
"It's taking her long, don't you think?."  
"Not that long. Besides, if her trips are anything like mine then she should be getting sidetracked at least forty times." I think for a second. "Urg, you're making me worry. We'll go the Hokage tower now and if she isn't back when we return we panic, OK?"

Ryo nods, stuffs the icepack in a soft cast to make it more manageable and helps me off the bed. I wince.  
"Still hurts. Better. We can finish healing later on."  
"Can you walk without hurting yourself?" questions Ryo.  
I nod and take a step.  
"Oh yeah, I should fi-aaaaaahh-ine." I gulp. "Not fine."

"I'll carry you then. Piggy back, bridal style, over the shoulder or awkward side hold?" laughs my guy friend. I am suddenly struck with memories of Ryo carrying me around and accidentally tripping and falling into a river with me still on his back when we were younger.  
"Oh! Piggy back! We haven't done that in years! People will be so confused like... Oh wow, those french people are so weird." I grin and hop on his back. Ryo doesn't bother covering up his groan at my weight. "Screw you. Go go go! I'll open and close doors."

Ryo snorts and we make our way out, almost tumbling head first down the stairs in the process. Our horrified shouts and laughs whenever I nearly cause Ryo to topple over probably did not go unheard.  
Trudging through the village like some creepy mutated two head monster does attract a few looks, but we are otherwise ignored as usual.

We make it to the Hokage tower without any collateral damage.  
Turns out, I didn't have to harm myself to get ejected from the chuunin exams. A simple request was enough. Darn this world.  
The Hokage seemed concerned and disappointed that he wouldn't see me fight. Though he probably figured that I didn't want to fight my friend.  
"Aw well, there's always next time, right?" the old man had asked.  
I agreed and my human crutch and I were on our way.

Once outside, Ryo lets out a laugh.  
"This is seriously the worse karma I have seen ever-..."  
"Shut up. Carry me peasant." I growl. Ryo rolls his eyes and lets me on his back.  
"I swear I will squirt toothpaste into your nostrils when you sleep tonight." he threatens.  
"What if I suffocate mintily and die?"  
"Sucks for you princess."

I giggle and shove my nails into his chest. Ryo lets out an awkward 'holding back a swear word' growl.  
"Thanks for carrying around." I smile.  
"Thanks for being the one to pull out of the exams. I know that neither of us wanted to look like the quitter so thanks for taking the blow." admits Ryo. I hug my friend a little tighter.  
"No problem. It's all just for show right now anyway. I didn't want to battle you and, as I said, it would be less suspicious if it were me to be wounded into forfeit. Yuuki and I will be with you in the balconies to act like supportive teammates even if you probably won't fight. Besides, with what's going to happen... It hardly matters." I sigh.  
"True."

We pass a glaring Neji, a nervous looking Hinata, and her dad, who just looks like he hates his life. They all turn to glance at the weird scene Ryo and I make. Judging by their faces, I can guess that they are getting the wrong idea.  
I smile, wave and point to my leg, since we are too far for me to shout without causing a riot. Ryo only grins since he can't wave.  
The Hyugas sort of get the picture and go on about their day.

Ryo and I make it back to the hotel. Before we can make it back to our linked rooms, however, we run into the Sand Team.  
I have nasty feeling that this probably isn't a good thing, with Gaara there and Ryo and I in a very close contact position. Especially with the redhead not really understanding stuff like bestfriendship forever.

"Oh... Hey they, Himeko-chan and Ryo-kun." greets Kankuro in a suggestive tone of voice, grinning.  
"Hi team Suna!" Ryo and I chorus with forced smiles plastered onto our faces. We are obviously on the same wavelength.  
Baki looks tired and glances quickly between Ryo, Gaara and I. Temari hides a smirk. Gaara's face is eerily blank.  
Crap. Not a good reunion with my favorite ginger ever.

"So... What happened?" Temari comes to my rescue by pointing at my wounded leg. The dark black skin is peaking out from under the cast. "That's gross. How did you get that bruise?"  
I hold in a chuckle, imagining their faces if we told them the truth.  
Hey, I asked Ryo to kick me so that I could reopen my wounds and have a sick bruise so that I looked like I had a great reason to drop out of the chuunin exams because we didn't want to seem suspicious.  
"Training accident this morning." answers Ryo quickly and convincingly.

Everyone seems to accept the response except for Gaara who is giving Ryo and I a calm and scary look.  
"We should have dinner together sometime! We have all been so busy. Though right now we have got to find the third member of our team." I smile apologetically.  
We part ways with Team Suna and walk into the room I share with Yuuki. Once inside, we notice a blob of yellow peaking out form under the covers.

"Yuu-chan! We're back! … Yuu-chan?"  
My cousin slowly sits up, her back facing us. She turns around with a smile, though I can immediately tell that something was wrong. I slip of Ryo's back, hobble to Yuuki and hug her.  
"Bad day?" I sway and rock her back and forth.  
She sniffs and puts on her head on my shoulder. She lets Ryo sit on her other side.

"It's just... I was at the market and I saw a little girl arguing with her elder brother and I just... got really lonely. I miss Constantin. And Tristan. And my parents." she whispered, wiping a tear out of her eye.

My heart drops in my gut. I gulp. We haven't spoken about this in a long time.  
"Don't worry Viviane. We are always here to hug, you know that." hums Ryo, managing to pull both of us girls into his arms. "Missing them is normal. I still miss my parents. My brother. My sister."  
"I miss my parents and my brother and grandma." I pull my friends closer.  
"OK, so I'm not the only one having these feelings after all. I thought that I was being weak." laughs Yuuki nervously.  
"No... Of course not. You're never alone. We understand you." I smile, kissing my cousin on the cheek. Her face lightens up.  
"I feel better now. Thanks guys." she takes a deep breath. "So, what did you do?"

"I dropped out of the exams. We're all set for what follows now." I explain.  
"Oh, funny story." Ryo chimes in. "Hime-chan thought that she needed a convincing wound to ask for forfeit. So I kicked her in the leg. But they didn't need evidence, just a request."  
Yuuki snorts in laughter.  
"That's stupid." she looks at the bruise peaking out of the cast. She makes a face. "That's sick. It looks like gangrene."

She leans over and helps me heal up properly. We all join in.

After a few minutes, Ryo lets out a chuckle. We glance at him.  
"This is like... a thing now." he laughs. "Gather around Himeko-chan wounded ass and have a mushy moment."  
Yuuki smirks and I roll my eyes.  
"You two get an inappropriate amount of pleasure from making fun of my pain." I mutter, though I am grinning.

* * *

**OK. So I made the chapter long to hopefully compensate for tardiness. Sorry it there are many elipses, but I am not gonna write out an entire month. This story will never end otherwise.  
I didn't know how to write out this chapter since I haven't planned all the mini-arcs that accompanied the plot. I have a few humorous ones, a few character development ones, some plot ones... If you have any ideas feel free to share XD.  
I put a few references in here. Who picked them up? One of them is super duper obvious XD  
I finished this filler-ish (though not really since there is weird moments and plot points) chapter on a soft note, and there wasn't much Gaara in it.**

**But don't you fret. The next chapter... The next chapter is probably what most of you have been waiting for since the beginning of this fic! Arg! Any guessed what? Oh, you probably have and idea but I just want to say... No. You don't have correct hypothesis. You will see next time muahahahah.**

I put up my tumblr link on my profile for those who want to harass me into posting more often.

**Peace, love and oh exams and sats and homework,**

**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (so PaperDream has changed to PotatoCactus please go read her fics she's epic and no she's not paying or bribing or threatening me to say this I mean it. And the Hetalia story I mentioned is work in progress. Not happy with the first chapter yet. Doesn't have the atmosphere I want. And that new Gaara-centric story I might have mentioned to a few is still in my brain and wants to get out. Now that I have my mojo back I'll get to it. Oh and my friends and I began working on a Harry Potter fanfic so stay tuned. Authoress out have a nice day)**


	47. The Last Dinner

**HimekoUchia: …  
Himeko: …  
Yuuki: …  
Ryo: …  
HimekoUchi: SORRY! I usually try to update at least once a month. Between exams, writing contests to participate in (hey, I'm graduating next year and I need my 'extra-curricular' to be more than 'writes ninja manga parodies and reads various homoerotic fanfiction'), homework, writer's... I've been a little busy. I had most of this chapter planned out and it ended up really long, so I cut it in half because I know how annoying it is to read long ass chapters (don't worry, the next part is coming really soon I just didn't want to be absent any longer).  
Yuuki: But she's back! Yay! And she still doesn't own Naruto!  
HimekoUchia: Thanks for the reviews ! So guys... Hold on tight. Emotional roller-coaster of drama in sight.**

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_"I dropped out of the exams. We're all set for what follows now." I explain._  
_"Oh, funny story." Ryo chimes in. "Hime-chan thought that she needed a convincing wound to ask for forfeit. So I kicked her in the leg. But they didn't need evidence, just a request."_  
_Yuuki snorts in laughter._  
_"That's stupid." she looks at the bruise peaking out of the cast. She makes a face. "That's sick. It looks like gangrene."_

_She leans over and helps me heal up properly. We all join in._

_After a few minutes, Ryo lets out a chuckle. We glance at him.  
"This is like... a thing now." he laughs. "Gather around Himeko-chan wounded ass and have a mushy moment."  
Yuuki smirks and I roll my eyes.  
"You two get an inappropriate amount of pleasure from making fun of my pain." I mutter, though I am grinning._

* * *

During the next few days, I return to the hospital to try to catch Lee awake. No such luck (my god, does that guy hibernate or something?). It's been nearly a month that I haven't heard his loud optimism. I miss that.

Two days before the finals, my friends and I were training to built up our strength. I've got to say, after this month and half of training and exams, I feel way fitter (even with a previously hacked open leg). I can now climb most trees with some effort, even the crazy ones with slippery branches.  
"We've got to find the Sand Sibs and convince them to have dinner with us." I suddenly point out.  
Yuuki and Ryo turn to look at me.  
"That would be nice. Those three are so terrifying yet interesting." grins my cousin.  
"That's because they are so two-faced." sighs Ryo. "One side of them is scary, powerful, ruthless and about to destroy Konoha. The other side of them is playful, clever and quite sociable. Except for Gaara of course. I doubt anyone can figure that guy out."  
"Speaking of a certain sexy-assed redhead..." Yuuki turns to face me. "What's up with him? He's been acting extra creepy. Every time I see him and try to smile he just gives me a dead look. He's usually more polite than that. He usually blinks, at least."

"He got pissed at me like over a week ago and I still haven't gotten a chance to explain myself. And I doubt that anytime soon will be a good time to dig up that conversation. The exams are approaching and I can taste his bloodlust from two streets away." I chuckle nervously.  
"You've gotten more scared of him." points out Ryo.  
"No, but he's gotten scarier since we've first met him." I admit.

Ryo rolls his eyes and glances at his Demon Wind Shuriken. Frowning, he unlocks the seals on it and we all watch the blades grow.  
"You've got to stop constantly doing that. It's unnerving." comments Yuuki.  
"I'm still working on weapon improvements, you know. And this seal. I could try modifying it." he muses, off in his world of pointy objects.

"That's cool, Ryo-kun. We should get going, it's time for lunch. It's only a half day training session today, some other people booked the afternoon here." I drag my friends out of the training grounds. We buy some awesome lunch boxes at a little stand and walk towards our hotel. Outside the building, we find a little garden and plop down on a few benches there.

Eventually, we catch Temari leaving the building with her usual smirk plastered on her face, though her eyes look exhausted.  
"Temari-san!" I call out, causing the girl to turn and face me. She blinks in recognition before coming our way.  
"You three! It's been ages since we've talked!" she points out. "Ready for the chuunin exams in two days?"  
I bite my tongue when I nearly spat out that I was no longer participating. I would rather not reveal that detail to anyone who doesn't need to know so that I don't have to explain myself, especially since my leg wound is long healed.

"Sure. Ready to go up against my friend and then Dosu-san!" laughs Ryo nervously, sensing my hesitation like the awesome friend he is. I give him fake challenging look and softly elbow him. "I can tell that Dosu is annoyed to have to go up against us. He's giving us his creepy mummy glare for days."  
Temari laughs and claps her hands together.  
"Oh, he is quite powerful. I hope that one of you will manage to defeat him so that I can kick your ass!" she challenges.

"We'll see what we can do." smiles Ryo. "Also, we were wondering if your Team would like to join us for dinner tonight?"  
I observe Temari's mask falter slightly with nerves.  
"Baki's on an errand. I'm sure Kankuro would be happy joining you guys along with me but... Gaara... Is moody." she explains carefully. I suddenly remember something.  
"It's the full moon tomorrow, isn't it? Every month, before and during the full moon, he gets a little jumpy?" I question.  
"Pretty much." nods Temari.  
"Kinda like PMS?"  
"Absolutely." answers the kunoichi, her lips twitching upwards.  
"Well, tell Gaara-kun that bananas are good for cramps, apparently. If you want, I'll ask him to come. If he accepts, great. If he refuses... Can't do anything about it." I offer.

"Hey, it's your funeral anyway." laughs Temari, waving at it. "I'll go tell Kankuro. Gaara is up in his room."

She leaves. I turn to exchange looks with my friends.  
"Himeko-chan. No."  
"I'm going to find Gaara! If I don't come back be worried."

* * *

I knock on the door to the redhead's room. I wait for a few seconds, sensing his powerful presence behind the door. I knock again.  
The door slides open to reveal a passive looking Gaara. I smile a little despite his glare.  
"Can I help you?" articulates the boy, dark politeness coloring his voice.  
"Yes. Yes you can." I put on my nicest grin. "What do you say that we all dine together tonight? Your siblings have agreed. It will probably be our last opportunity to socialize before we are thrown into a pit to fight violently whilst old businessmen jeer."

Gaara looks internally conflicted between face palming or slapping me.  
"No thank you." answers the redhead monotonously, about to slide the door shut.  
Oh hell no. I put my foot in the gap to block the door. Thankfully, Gaara doesn't use his ninja strength to amputate my foot. However, since this action has brought me closer to the boy, I pick up a slight scent of almonds wafting off of him. I still don't know why Gaara smells of almonds. But I really like almonds. I manage to not get too distracted despite my giddiness.  
"Not so fast! I can tell that you aren't feeling so good and I'm sorry for interrupting, but enjoying a meal in company is actually quite beneficial as it helps you ignore your problems for a little. Or if you try to enjoy yourself, you will feel better! It's a placebo effect."  
"No."  
"Please Gaara-kun! Your siblings agreed to come." I put all my power into the biggest anime eyes I can muster. The redhead frowns.  
"All the more reason to not come."  
"You're a spoil sport."  
"Leave." growls Gaara dangerously.

I shrug.  
"OK, I tried." I turn away and walk down the hall. "See ya Gaara-kun!"  
I feel the redhead falter slightly, taken off guard. Was he already used to me never wanting to leave him? Nah, I'm probably just projecting my feelings again. Either way, I internally smirk at his reaction.

As I walk away, he doesn't say a word and neither to I. How unusual.

* * *

That night, when entering the restaurant, I am pleasantly surprised to find three people there instead of two. I greet a nervous looking Temari, a grinning Kankuro and a Gaara who looks as if he were forced to be there.  
Of course, no one forces Gaara to go anywhere. So he obviously wanted to come. My stomach gets fluttery at how cute this boy can act sometimes.  
I plop down next to Kankuro and Yuuki sits to my right. Ryo sits in between her and Temari.

"Long time no chat brats!" chuckles Kankuro. "I'm starving so lets order something quick."  
The waitress runs over with a few menus and we all chose a few dishes to share, as per Asian custom. We pick three veggie dishes, one soup and four meat dishes. During the entire process, Gaara stays quiet, staring intently at his menu as if he were trying to burn a hole into it. Temari looks over his shoulder and rolls her eyes.  
"And for dessert, I will take the liberty of ordering dish number 24 for everyone please." adds the blond, shooting her brother a smirk when he glances at her. Gaara blinks and puts down his menu, awkwardly smoothing it out on the table.

"Today the chef made a new dish that he plans on adding to our official menu later on. Would you like to try it out?It's on the house." asks the woman politely.  
"You want us to test your dish, basically?" laughs Yuuki. "Bring it on!"  
The waitress chuckles nervously and quickly leaves with our orders. We all watch her go with suspicion.

Once she is out of earshot, we gather closer around the table.  
"That girl is so gonna poison our food!" I gasp.  
"With roofies." adds Ryo.  
"Or at the very least, that secret dish is totally messed up." huffs Kankuro.

A moment passes until Temari lifts her head.  
"You guys, that would not surprise me. This entire hotel is haunted." announces the kunoichi solemnly.  
We all turn to give her a judgmental look.  
"I thought that you weren't superstitious." I point out, pouring tea for everyone at the table.  
"I'm not, but seriously..." Temari lowers her voice to a whisper. "Strange things happen. A little over a month ago, when I first arrived in Konoha, I bought this huge tub of shampoo. It should have lasted me well over three months. But this morning... It was _empty_."  
Yuuki gasps for effect.  
"Someone has been sneaking into my room to use my stuff." Temari suddenly turns to glare at Kankuro. "It's you, isn't it?"

Her brother gives her an offended look.  
"Excuse me! I bought my own manly shampoo!" growls Kankuro. "Why would I use your sissy, deep moisturizing crap? I mean, who the hell wants to smell like almonds anyway?"  
I choke on my tea.  
The quarreling siblings turn to give me a piteous look as I cough, laugh and cry at the same time.  
"You OK, Hime-chan?" Kankuro gently rubs my back. I nod.  
"Wrong pipe." I gasp, taking deep breaths.

I quickly dart my eyes over to Gaara, who is staring at me with a mildly amused look like the sadist he is. When he notices my accusatory grin, he quickly looks away, feigning innocence.  
"Well, to answer your question, Kankuro-kun..." I start, receiving a slightly nervous glare from Gaara. "I don't know who else would want to smell like almonds, apart from Temari-san. However, I totally love your shampoo. It smells so good. So strong."  
"Do you go around sniffing me or something?" chuckles the kunoichi. I laugh.  
"Yes. Yum."

No one laughs.

There is silence.

People from two tables around us turn to stare at me. Someone drops a chopstick.

I die internally. My teammates smirk (wow, thanks for the solidarity guys). Gaara looks at me with his lips pressed into a firm line. Kankuro and Temari awkwardly glance around them.  
"I... I was kidding." I groan and shoo off the onlookers. "Sheesh, people. Take a picture. Your food is getting cold. Nothing to see here..."  
I blab until they all look away then turn back to my friends.  
"Let's talk about something else apart from my new found fetish for almond shampoo please?"

Thankfully, the waitress returns with a few dishes. My stomach sings a symphony when met with that delicious aroma of succulent gastronomy. We all start eating like the ravenous fatasses we are.  
"So... You three." starts Temari. "Tell us about where you come from."

Ryo gags on his chicken. Yuuki coughs on her tea. I am caught with chopsticks halfway to my mouth. Darn it.  
"Um..." I smile. Ahahah help me. "It's far away."  
"You're French, right? So are you three from France?" points out Kankuro.  
I nod, not really knowing how this world's geography works. How does France even exist here? It should, since I heard Naruto mention once that he beat a guy called 'gato', which sounded like 'cake' in French. He knew what French was. Man, this is giving me a headache.

"That is super far away. How is it like over there?" gasps Temari. "No one has visited or heard from those countries in the west for decades. We only get occasional travelers and those people always avoid questions. It's weird."  
I laugh.  
"Weird! Sooooo how's life in Sunagakure?" I skillfully and totally non-suspiciously avoid their question. Genius, Himeko.

Gaara turns to give me a PMS glare. Everyone tenses as this is the first time that he participates in this conversation.  
"You're the last person to have been in Suna. You know what it's like there." he points out calmly, though he still sounds a little jumpy.  
Ahahahah crap.  
"I do." I nod seriously. "And it's warm! And dry!"  
The Sand Siblings blink.  
"It's a desert." frowns Temari, clearly wondering if I smoked something.

"Yes! And um... The people are cool." I smile. "A little less outgoing than in Konoha, if I can say so. Is it the weather?"  
"No, it's the food. It's seriously constipating." replies Kankuro seriously.

A beat.

We all break into laughter (minus Gaara, of course, who just looks at his brother with bitter disappointment). Temari slaps the puppeteer's shoulder. I want to hug the older boy for saving my ass.  
The waitress returns with our last dish.  
"With compliments from the chef who hopes that you will like his new creation!" laughs the waitress, giving us a 'please don't get angry at me the chef made it' look. I am now very intrigued and still quite hungry, so I watch curiously as she sets the plate onto the table.

I frown. We all frown. We stare at the dish. The waitress rocks back and forth on her heels.  
"What is it?"  
"... Meat. I think."

It does look brownish. Though there is some strange smelling sauce on it. It does not look very appetizing. But then again, I don't consider myself a tremendously superficial person.  
"If I die, put a statue of naked Venus on my tomb so that people will think that I was really hot." I announce, picking up a weird blob of of brown. I pop it into my mouth.

I chew.

Everyone stares at me in sick fascination.

I keep on chewing. Hm... I frown. This tastes vaguely familiar.

I swallow.

"It is not meat." I declare. "But it is an animal body part. Probably internal. Not quite sure what part it is. Not quite sure what animal it is. It's quite delicious."  
I take another piece and eat that too. The waitress sighs in relief and leaves.  
"No thank you..." mutters Yuuki, going back to consuming vegetables instead. Ryo shakes his head.  
"Meh. I prefer this." Kankuro starts eating chicken. Temari's eyes say 'nope'.

Gaara blinks. He stares at the strange dish. He glances up at me. I smile, my right cheek bulging with food.  
The redhead eats a piece of the exotic cuisine. Judging by the way his eyes seem to peace out, he likes it. A lot. My goodness, now I'm slightly worried as to what the dish might be.

"Well, seems you have this in common too." laughs Kankuro awkwardly. "Eating weird crap. How sweet."  
I stick out my tongue at him whilst Gaara just looks at his brother with cold eyes. The older boy shivers.

Once we are finished with our meal, the waitress returns with the dessert Gaara had been staring so longingly at and that his sister had ordered for us.  
When I see what it is, my heart skips a beat and I can't help but grin.

Oh, Gaara...

Yuuki claps her hands.  
"I love white chocolate mochis!" laughs my cousin, grabbing a white blob from the plate. We all happily dig in (everyone loves white chocolate mochis).

When the bill comes, we decide to split it equally between our two teams. Temari and Yuuki (my team's designated banker) pay and we all walk to our living quarters. We part when it's time to enter our respective rooms. I turn and glance at Gaara.  
His look makes my heart skip a beat. But not in a good way this time.

His eyes are wide. Exhausted. Empty.  
I nervously lift the corners of my lips as a good night and quickly retreat into my room with a last goodbye to Gaara's siblings.

Once inside the room with my friends, we lock the door and flick on the lights. It is almost unnecessary, however, because the full moon shines bright.

* * *

The next day, after training, I make my way to the hospital without my team (those two are always who-knows-where doing who-knows-what). I visit a passed out Naruto, leaving him some food and flowers. He's been out for three days now. Apparently, Jiraya severely overworked him. I leave Naruto's room, crossing paths with Shikamaru, who is also here to visit the blond.

As much as I would have wanted to chat with the smart-ass pineapple headed genin, I have something to do. I quickly run to Lee's hospital room. I knock quietly on the door, waiting for a response.  
"Come in..." comes a drowsy voice. I slide the door to the side and slip into the dim room, my eyes immediately landing on Lee.  
"I finally catch you awake, sleeping beauty!" I grin.

The boy's eyes widen in recognition.  
"Himeko-chan?" he manages to say in a raspy voice, his lips turning upwards. "It's been a month!"  
"Yes! Every time my teammates or I came, you would always be asleep." I explain, placing a few flowers into Lee's vase.

The sleepy looking ninja stares at the pretty plant I had just given to him.  
"The flowers... It was you?" he asks quietly. I smile and lean against the nightstand.  
"Yup. And my teammates. And Sakura-chan and Ino-san." I whisper, crouching down next to Lee's face. "You're super popular. It's because you're awesome."  
The boy smiles and closes his eyes, dozing back off in about three seconds.

I shake my head, sighing.  
"So close. He probably won't even remember that I came in when he wakes. Darn it, why is my timing so bad?" I ask myself. Unfortunately, I don't get the time to think up an answer because the door starts to slowly slide open.

My heart flips in surprise. The surprise turns to happiness for a second when I realize that it's Gaara. Then the surprise instantaneously morphs into dread when I realize... it's Gaara. A not-very-sane looking Gaara.  
Actually, to be more precise, Gaara looks bloodthirsty.

* * *

**… Cliffhanger. AH!  
Well, I hope that you enjoyed this more light-hearted part of the roller-coaster. Image it like the slow, rattling chain that brings the carts up before a huge drop into a looping. This took me ages to write. I couldn't get the dinner scene right, so I just put my "HimekoUchia circa 2010" writer's hat on and shouted 'give me a random situation'. I also need to thank PotatoCactus for the conversation ideas. Thank you Potato.  
**

**So yeah, next chapter will be the promised 'big' one. It should be out very soon. I just need to finish and edit it. It's longer than this chapter, which is uncharacteristically short for such a long break ('cause it the first half of the whole, technically).**

**I hope you enjoyed it and that you will leave a review saying what poisonous food you felt like sending me through the mail for being so late.  
**

**And remember, you may stalk my tumblr. The link is on my profile. It's pretty weird, but I wanted to give you guys a method of contacting me quickly. In case, yah know, you want to leave me a cute gif that is the perfect metaphor for the frustration you feel towards me XD.**

**If anyone is curious as to what the 'weird dish' might be, I image it to be something like duck rectum (OMG WTF EW but it's actually quite good and chewy). Judging by the list of Gaara's favorite foods, he probably likes this stuff. Himeko probably does because she has no idea what it is.**

**Peace, love and Japanese canteen food,**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (I should sleep more excuse any typos it's late and I need to catch some zzzzzzz)**


	48. The Confrontation of Two Angry Redheads

**HimekoUchia: Thanks for the reviews and faves and follows and watches guys! Where are all of you coming from?  
Himeko: She doesn't own anything but us.  
HimekoUchia: Yep *smiles  
Himeko: … I have a bad feeling about this chapter.  
HimekoUchia: Ahah I did say that is was going to be important for you!  
Ryo: AH! Yes. Warning: the roller-coaster is about to descend into madness.**

* * *

_Last chapter:_

_I shake my head, sighing._  
_"So close. He probably won't even remember that I came in when he wakes. Darn it, why is my timing so bad?" I ask myself. Unfortunately, I don't get the time to think up an answer because the door starts to slowly slide open._  
_My heart flips in surprise. The surprise turns to happiness for a second when I realize that it's Gaara. Then the surprise instantaneously morphs into dread when I realize... it's Gaara. A not-very-sane looking Gaara._  
_Actually, to be more precise, Gaara looks bloodthirsty._

* * *

His eyes are so bloodshot and unfocused that he doesn't even notice my presence until I slowly stand up. The redhead's eyes rapidly dart to me. He seems to momentarily sober up.

"What are you doing here?" he asks slowly. I frown and quickly step around Lee's bed to stand between my friend and Gaara.  
"I'm visiting my friend. What are _you_ doing here?" I question, though I knew exactly what he's doing here. And Gaara knows that I know.

We lock eyes for a second. As creepy as his stare is, I don't look away. Eventually, Gaara's eyes narrow into an angry frown.  
"Why do you protect him from me?" asks the boy monotonously. "You can see that he's broken. He is no longer useful. Step aside."  
My insides churn in disgust as the horrible words coming out of mouth of the person I am dangerously in love with. I can't stop myself from tensing up when Gaara takes a step towards me.  
"Lee-kun is physically damaged. But his sheer will is the glue that keeps him together. He is still powerful. Besides, that is completely irrelevant to his amount of usefulness. People aren't objects. They don't have to be judged useful by other people to exist."

Gaara blinks.  
"He is no longer strong. A weak shinobi is useless." he speaks calmly, though a rusty knife of insanity seems to be scratching at his vocal cords.  
"I think that Lee is very strong. There is more to a people than physical power. Lee-kun is a mental rock. Naruto-kun is devoted to his friends and his goals. Hinata-chan is making herself into the person that she has always wanted to be. Most of the people here have the strength to fight to get respected and to make their loved ones proud."

Gaara looks about ready to laugh like a madman at me.  
"I didn't know that you were a poet as well!" he growls. "Stop making excuses for that superfluous pile of flesh."

My heart clenches and I quickly blink my eyes shut, trying to crush the tension that is paralyzing my body. I block out my view of Gaara. I can no longer see the face that I find so attractive. I can no longer see his insane smile. All I can I feel is his presence. My heart races.  
Do I love him despite all? I know that the answer is obviously still yes. I love _him_, no matter how much I hate myself for loving him at this moment.

"What are you doing?" comes a dangerous voice, forcing me to slowly open my eyes. I see his gaze piercing through my skull as I glance into his soul.  
And, for the first time, I see him.

Horrible. Disgusting. Terrifying. What am I thinking? How could I possibly love him... more? I accept him. Because I love him so freaking much. It hurts.  
But I don't want to be murdered. And what could I possibly use to defend myself against Gaara if not for simple honesty? I don't want to resort to mentally attacking this boy unless I need to.

"I'm protecting Lee. From you. Because you can't control the hate that you feel for the world. I don't think that I can blame you for being the way you are. I care about you. You know it, Gaara. But you have got to stop stubbornly channeling your energy into hurting others for no other reason but the fact that you are terrified of everything. You're scared of life. You're scared of being hurt. You're scared of love." I take a breath, relieved but unnerved that he is actually letting me talk. "You know what... Everyone fears those things. However, they don't let those fears drag them so impossibly low because they can accept the fact that it's human to fear, to care, to love! Don't get me wrong, you're an incredible ninja. But you are a very cowardly person."

Part of me realizes how unfair my words are. I know the pains that Gaara has gone through but I still said them anyway. Because they're true and we both know it. My feelings are burning through my heart and mind, infuriating me. I can't bring myself to regret the serrated blade of truth that I just tried to stab through the boy I love.

Shockingly, Gaara doesn't kill me. He merely contemplates me as if I were an irregular dent in a plaster wall.  
"Your eyes. I see anger and fear in them..." speaks the redhead icily, conveniently ignoring my words. "Such powerful feelings... for the first time, I see them in you... You have a lot of anger. It's only resurfacing now, but it has always been there, running thickly through your blood... What you just said, you were speaking of yourself. You have been wronged. You seek vengeance."

My heart skips a beat. For the first time, I can't think up a good lie. So I go with the truth again.  
"I used to. I used to hate people so much. If you think that I am angry now, you cannot possibly imagine how I felt back then. I had lost so much so quickly, I could hardly even remember who I was. All I knew for sure was that I was clever and bitter." I blink, feeling regret trying to flow over my eyes. "When my family was killed in that accident, I was so angry. I wanted that man to suffer too... I felt so helpless that all I could do was hate him. But then, I saw him, Gaara... The person that I had wanted dead so badly... He was an even bigger wreck than me. He wasn't evil. He had just made a horrible, stupid mistake. When I understood that... I stopped wanting vengeance. I didn't want to be miserable. I just tried to forgive him. I felt like I had betrayed my family, but I couldn't help it. I was the one alive. The one suffering still. What more could I do without hurting myself even more?"

Gaara's eyes suddenly light up with a deranged passion as I spilled some of my darkest secrets to him.  
"Kill people for yourself! And kill those who want vengeance against you. That's how you survive. You prove that your existence is stronger than theirs."  
I shake my head.  
"It doesn't always work like that. No matter how alone or scared you are, you can't just kill people. It usually makes things much worse." I state, trying to keep my face composed.

Gaara takes another steps towards me.  
"Then you live the existence of self-deluded, self righteous coward." he says, acid burning through his voice.  
"I may not be as brave as some people but at least I don't lie to myself! I am just a petty human and I know it!" I snap, trying to keep my voice from raising in my spur of emotion. "And so are you! You are not an evil machine who keeps itself alive with other people's pains. You're just a lonely and terrified little boy who is overcompensating for all of the people who should have been loving you, trying to keep you alive... You do their job and protect yourself to an extreme because you are afraid that your own love isn't enough. And you know that it isn't. You know that you need to love others. To be loved... if you want to have a fulfilling existence. Your love isn't enough for yourself but it could be enough for someone else. That's why people care about each other."  
I chew my lip, waiting for Gaara's reaction.

The redhead's eyes narrow into a lazy glare.  
"You enjoy making ridiculous speeches." he points out.  
Irritation seeps into my system. He is purposefully avoiding everything I say.  
"But I'm right, am I? No one is powerful enough to keep themselves alive for long in this world. We need help."

"I've never had help." announces Gaara proudly, getting closer still. "No ones has helped me survive..."  
I notice the sand twitch in warning. I remind myself that this boy has more than one screw loose right now.  
"It might have worked so far." I breath out, starting to feel the heat waves coming off his body. "But the day you face people who are stronger than you... You are going to feel very lonely, with nothing but your power and insanity for company."

Gaara starts staring intensely into my eyes again. His lips seem to twitch up in a crazy smile.  
"Your eyes speak for you once again." Gaara sounds almost... excited. What is _wrong_ with him? "You have once known loneliness. But it was gone from you. It has never returned... until now. Only now are you reminded of the sour feeling of solitude... when you are here. With me."

Wow, despite the situation, Gaara-kun makes an incredible shrink. I am taken aback when I realize that he is right. I usually feel so happy in his presence, but now that emotion has been perverted into anger, fear, loneliness... All that I had been trying to stay away from has been paradoxically sealed into the person that I was trying to be close to. Gaara embodies the qualities I hate seeing in myself.  
Maybe I am just as messed up as him, if I love him. I don't know. What I do know is that I do feel very alone with this broken, possessed part of Gaara. This boy will kill me if I don't resist.

I'm not dying for him.

The redhead takes another step closer to me. He is now less than a meter away and has more than trespassed into my comfort zone.  
"Yes. You have fight in your eyes... Your blood will be good..." he announces in a low rumble.

My mind can form very few coherent thoughts. It just chants the same thing over and over again...  
_He's insane. He's insane. He's insane..._

"Ah, you have bad timing. If it's my blood you want then you should have asked about a week ago." I nearly groan when my habit of blabbering automatically kicks in. It helps me keep the bitter disappointment out of my voice. "Am I really just another human target to you?"  
"Just like I am but a danger to you." agrees Gaara, seemingly censoring my inappropriate comment from his mind.  
"You definitely are a danger to me... in more ways than one." I sigh, feeling my thoughts and feelings melting into one.  
"More ways that having the power to take your life?" asks the redhead, slightly tilting his head to the side.  
"That's the main one. But you also have the power to break my heart. That's because I had accepted to give you that power, but I've changed my mind now. I refuse to let you have it. I'm taking that power back from you." I whisper.  
"How so?" questions Gaara blankly.  
"I'm taking my heart back. I'm not giving you the power to hurt me anymore." I spit out angrily. "I so happily gave you that power because you were so... different when you were with me. It made me think that-... Well, I guess I was wrong."

Silence flows through the room as Gaara figures out what to respond.  
"I was curious as to why you acted the way you did. You were an entertaining toy." finally explains the boy. Those words are gasoline thrown onto my fire of pure pain and fury.  
"I see." I hiss. "This is truly the first time that you treat me like you treat others. I was nothing but an entertainment?"  
"Nothing but that. It was amusing to play along. To use the power I had to make you smile or frown when I wanted to." he adds almost softly, cruelly taunting me for my stupidity. His words are evil but his eyes just seem blank and terrifyingly mental.  
"Oh, get off your high horse. If I remember correctly, this isn't the first time I chew you out for talking pure garbage." I growl, my mind flooded with annoyance. "It was my choice to act on my feelings. To treat you the way I did. Despite knowing what you were capable of I stood by you. I defended you! You know why that it is, do you?"

Gaara stares me down in curious silence. I can't tell what he is thinking. If he actually meant every word he said. If he was trying to get me riled up against him. If he actually hated me all this time.  
I never knew what he thought about me. If this boy is being honest, all of our previous positive interactions have been lies.  
This thought pisses me off and I feel the dams at the surface of my heart break. Dark blood floods my mind.

I take a step until I am a few inches away from Gaara. The boy blinks.  
"You could get away with your sick behavior because _I love you_. I love you and you knew it. You knew it all along! You had no problem abusing of that knowledge, apparently."  
In a wave of emotion, I slowly grab the front of his shirt, pulling Gaara as close to me as possible without actually touching him. I feel him exhale, his placid green eyes never leaving mine.  
"Give it back... give back my love. Because I am running out of it. I gave it all to a person who never wanted it. So give it back! I need that love for myself."

I finish and crush any feeling of nervousness before it reaches my brain. Gaara replies quickly this time, in some kind of ironic mercy.  
"…You loved me?" Despite it all, his voice still sounds a little incredulous.  
"I still love you." I correct reluctantly.  
"How can you love me if you haven't even seen my true form?" asks the boy.  
"Because I _knew_ you before I fell in love you. I wasn't c_ompletely_ delusional. I just love you for who you are." I hear my voice crack at that. Something seems to crack in Gaara as well.

"What does that even mean?" growls the redhead, his eyes getting injected with anger. He suddenly grabs me by my throat and pulls my face right up to his so that we're almost touching. He stares down at me. If I thought that we were uncomfortably close a minute ago, I certainly didn't imagine ever being close enough to be able to see the thin, dark veins lining his eyelids. I glare up at his pretty, twisted face. He isn't trying to strangle me, but his hold is still suffocating and uncomfortable.  
"How is that even possible? How can you possibly love me? What does it mean for me if you love me? Why don't I feel less lonely, if you truly love me? You lie!"  
My heart thumps.  
"I told you already... It doesn't change anything for you because you don't want it." I mutter.

He opens his mouth to retort. Then he stops. And he just stares at me. He looks as if there is something he wants to say, but that he somehow can not find words cruel enough to express his thought.  
I'm not sure that I want to hear his reasons right now. Looking onto Gaara's eyes, I can tell that I'm hardly even talking to him. This person... this person is mad.

Gaara suddenly shoves me towards the side. His actions were not especially violently, but my back hits the wall painfully and my stomach momentarily lurches in shocked panic.  
We stare at each other. His gaze is blank. I numbly put my hand to where he had pushed me, feeling the dark bruises of realization start to form. I can't believe this. Horror and disgust wash through me.  
"Gaara... you hurt me." I whisper.

Instead of a response, his sand starts to crawl up the wall towards me. For a second, it seems to hesitate. I am frozen in spot, with a look of revulsion probably still plastered onto my face. Gaara frowns. Then he smirks.

The doors slam open.

"Got you!" gasps Shikamaru, immobilizing the redhead with his shadow possession jutsu.  
"Hey! What are you doing in Bushy Brows' room with Himeko, you brow-less freak?" exclaims Naruto, pointing at Gaara. The redhead shifts his gaze so that it releases me and captures two newcomers instead.

"Himeko... Are you OK? Did he hurt you?" asks Shikamaru, his eyes focused on his prisoner. I clear my throat.  
"I'm fine." I answer. The blandness of my voice surprises me.  
"Get out of there. We'll take care of him no problem!" huffs Naruto. I nod.  
"Yes. I'll go get a jonin." I suddenly feel adrenaline jolt me back into clear reality.

_Run._

I quickly step out of the room and extend my mind to search for a familiar adult's. I locate Gai and run towards him. When I see the green clad ninja, a cup of relief gets dumped onto my head.  
"Sensei! Lee's room! Trouble!"

In about half a second Gai had bolted through the corridors. I watch him go.  
_Alone again._  
After a moment, I sigh and leave the hospital.

* * *

I wander mindlessly around the village until nightfall, trying to distract myself. I don't find my friends and I can't think of any other person to talk to that could possibly cheer me up.  
Actually, there is someone, but that person is currently missing.  
_And you're alone._  
My precious little duckassed Sasuke Uchiha. The Ice prince. The Ice duck. The dark, brooding hottie. The dark duck of ducky darkness.

It almost makes me smile, the memory of his soft, gravity-defying mane. His bitchy dark eyes. His snarky pretty voice. The way his smile says 'you're not worth my time'.  
I think that I might be a masochist after all. But seriously, Sasuke seems to take an edge off my anger when I'm around him. He's just so fun to tease.  
I enjoy making fun of his hair. Of his attitude. Of his popularity. Of the massive amount of sexual tension he seems to release around Naruto.

I sigh. I chose the wrong person to develop a dysfunctional, platonic love thing for. And it totally gets me enemies, to be a girl hanging around the Uchiha. However, I don't really care what other girls think. It's not like I want to steal Sasuke away from them. He is not the guy I love.  
Crap, I'm thinking about Gaara again.

_You almost managed to forget this time._

I groan at the voice and give up. I make my way back to the hotel, teleporting directly into my room to avoid human interactions.  
My room is empty. I hear noises in the next room. I guess Yuuki and Ryo are hanging out.  
I smile. They sound like they're having fun without me.  
Urg, why am I getting all bitter? I like the fact that they spend so much time together. And I'm not in the position to complain since I always ditch them first. I guess today just sucked.

I step into the shower and go straight to bed, falling asleep before Yuuki returns to our room.

* * *

The world around me is warm. I blink and stare at the familiar sun baked terrace. Even though my vision is strangely unsaturated, I recognize the place. My grandmother's house? Am I dreaming?

_Yes, of course you are._

I groan in pain and cover my ears. Since when is the voice so loud? I thought that I got rid of it. It's been acting up even more since the Gaara thing.  
My heart twinges.

_You should not have thought about him. It will give you nightmares._

I shiver in fear, slowly making my way around the house, hoping and dreading to see something moving inside of it. I am scared. This place is creepy.  
I know I'm dreaming, so it's even worse. I have to try to control my thoughts or this could be horrifying.

Chanting to myself, I quickly run through the garden to the back gate that leads into the vineyards. Suddenly, a window smashes. My stomach drops in panic and I automatically start running.  
It's just a dream. It's just a dream.

_Run. Run..._

"I'm trying!" I gasp. My legs suddenly feel like lead. "No! Oh, come on!"  
I reach the gate and swing it open, entering the open space of the vineyards. I see the world through a dirty, sand colored filter. Sound and reality seem to tunnel and resonate through my head. I feel as if I'm extremely drunk and watching an old, silent movie.

My legs start running, taking me through places I remember vaguely, as if from past life. I still have the distinct sensation of being followed. I run faster, panicked again.

After what seems like forever, the scenery morphs and I am standing at the top of a cliff, staring down at grass and dense forest down below. It reminds me of Konoha.

_But it's not._

No. I'm still in France. I know this place.  
Fear jolts through me and I turn to jump. If you die in a dream, you wake up in real life, right?

"Sara?"

Trembling, I turn and am faced with... myself?  
The girl in front of me is a slightly younger version of me, with tear stained cheeks and dead eyes. I gulp.  
"H-... Hello..." I try to smile.

Mini-me starts crying.  
"The... The car... It hit them!" the little girl wails. "They're dead... They're all dead..."  
"I know... I know..." I try to sound soothing. "You will feel better one day. I promise."

The redhead looks up at me with sad, betrayed eyes.  
"But you don't feel happy? You're crying too. You're angry too." she points out.  
"No, I'm not happy right now." I admit. "This dream isn't making things better. It's because I talked about you with Gaara. The me I didn't like."

The other girl cries harder.  
"I'm sorry." I gasp. "You're just making me think about the man. The one who caused the accident."  
The girl suddenly looks up at me with furious eyes.

_Run._

"I want to kill him." says the girl in a raspy voice. "I hate him so much."  
"It was not completely his fault though. Dad wasn't being careful either. It's not that guy's fault that he survived. He's not evil. I spoke with him, you know. He's weak. He's sad. He's really sorry." I smile.  
The girl's eyes flash in anger again.

_Run._

"That's not enough! He killed my father! My mother! My brother! Why did you forgive him?" shouts the girl.  
"I... I..." I dig my nails into my palm. I don't feel anything. "It's because I was paranoid. I feared that he was going to kill himself. He did not look stable. He didn't do it. But if he did, I didn't want him to die thinking that I loathed him, even if I did, at that time. You... You are me. You know me. I'm not cruel. My heart is weak. Pathetically weak. I'm so scared of having people hate me, though I am much better at ignoring that fear now. I know you hate it too. You're just too stubborn to say it. But you can tell me. I'm you."

The younger girl blinks.  
"No." she says monotonously. "I'm you. But you are not me."  
She smiles.

I smile back.

Suddenly, the girl screams and shoves me off the cliff.

* * *

I jolt awake in my bed.  
A distant sensation of fear fades out of my mind. I must have been having a nightmare. I blink a few times and remember where I am.  
I frown and look over at Yuuki, making sure that she is there. My panic seeps away when I notice that she is.

With a sigh, I get up and go to the bathroom. The light flickers on slowly, buzzing slightly. I quickly splash water on my face, relieved at the cleansing feeling it gave me. The coldness of the water bites me awake.  
With a peaceful smile, I look up at the mirror. My breath gets caught in my throat.

My reflection smiles back at me and waves.

_Hi.  
_  
"Holy crap, this is messed up." I whisper, clenching my fists. "W-Why? Why are you back? Why now?"  
_Because my voice isn't enough to keep you company anymore, apparently. I don't know either. You are the one who conjured me up anyway... It's all in your head._  
"Is it because of what Gaara said? Was that really enough to trigger this again? How pathetic..." I groan, rubbing my fingers on my eyes, willing the tears to stay in. "He sure knows what to say to properly fuck with me..."  
_Hey, don't go too hard on yourself, Sara. You can't hold back those sad thoughts forever. You were already pretty messed up to being with. Plus, he did try to kill you. You must have been hurt to find that one of the few people you truly love thought that you were nothing but a pathetic idiot.  
_  
"Maybe..." I breath deeply. "But I tried to hurt him with what I said. I really did. He hates me. He hurt me back. He got his vengeance. I don't want to take mine..."  
_Because you are not like him.  
_"I'm not tough enough?"_  
You're not cruel enough. You never were.  
_"It hurts... It feels like he's gone... "_  
He isn't. He's right across the hall. He might not even truly hate you. It could have all been words uttered in the heat of insanity. Either way, you have the rest of your lives to make anything happen...  
_  
"You're right. He's not dead. Not like my family. I will feel alright one day. Things can still change. It will be alright..." I smile. "Thanks, mental voice me. I missed you, somehow."  
My reflection waves at me.  
_Anytime. Please stop being sad... things will get better... things could be far worse..._  
"That's sounds a little ominous." I roll my eyes. I sigh. "I know you're right. You're always right. You're like the smarter half of me..."  
My reflection shakes her head slowly, smiling.

_No. I'm you. You're just crazy._

"Himeko?"

I gasp and spin around, fearing burning through my mind.  
It's Yuuki, who is staring at me with sleepy eyes. My heart starts to calm down.  
"What are you doing?" she asks softly.  
"Eh. Talking to the girl in the mirror. She is so wise." I try to grin.  
"Oh. What happened?" she whispers, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I shake my head and hug her close to me.

Yuuki gently rubs my back, switching off the bathroom light and slowly dragging me back to her bed with her. Thankfully, in one of her rare moments of tact, she doesn't ask any questions.  
"It's going to be alright." she smiles in the dark. "That's what you always say to me."  
I laugh a little, though my voice cracks.  
"Yeah. Sorry for flipping the roles over."

"It's OK. I get it. This world is driving us mad." Yuuki mutters, letting me snuggle into her chest. I usually hate having to let my younger cousin comfort me, but I'm too tired to care, anyway. I close my eyes, feeling myself drifting off into peaceful sleep.

* * *

**And there goes the looping...**

**Who was expecting a GaaHime kiss? TROLOLOLOL... NOPE! Ahaha sorry anon-guest, not this time.**

**Yah yah everything will be lovely one day but to get there we have to make poor Himeko quite miserable (because she's too happy to be a Naruto character) and Gaara's character a little more realistic (as much as I like seeing the butterflies and muffins in his character, he is still a world class, misunderstood, murderous A-hole). And hey, back story! It isn't too melodramatic, I hope, just sad.**  
**Yeah, I discreetly made Himeko's problems visible since the beginning. The voice? The weird, vivid dreams? Yup..**  
**So, we now know what happened to our two ladies and how they ended up. One day, we will be dwelling into Ryo's madness too. Who's excited?!**

**Ahah. Sorry. This was really sad and creepy to write and probably to read. Don't worry, since this is a romantic comedy there will be romance and the angst won't ever be getting any more intense than this (I hope).**

**I hope that y'all enjoyed this! (I don't know why I like typing out that accent. It sounds so funny in my head XD)**  
**Until next time! Which will hopefully be during Christmas break (but I will have SATs to study ARG)!**  
**So, happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday to my American readers (we don't have those holidays here, feel free to explain them to me XD)!**  
**To others, early Merry Christmas if I don't update before then!**  
**Peace, love and uuuurrrrggg report cards,**  
**XOXO ~~~ HimekoUchia (hey, Spanish reviewer *wink* see what I did there?)**


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